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| WRESTLING! YAY! Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Feed. Me. More.
Outside of the main event, you give me (briefly) the Rock Going To Sleep, an annoying midget getting welcomed to the Hall of Pain, and Paul Heyman doing in 90 seconds on the mic what most guys couldn't do if they stitched their whole career together recap and hype-wise? You can give me the whole Superfriends/Shield segger to close out. You do what you need to do.
As long as everything else is that awesome and pristine, and you come out of the gates with a brilliant setup segment AND a possible Match of the YEAR candidate?
This is why the lifers never leave. This is why I've been dodging the column on the tip of my fingers since the Rumble that basically goes "Vince is making 9 figures in a week come WrestleMania time, so the concerns of me and my peeps, while understandable, don't amount to a hill of beans. Forget it, Internet. It's McMahontown." Shows like this remind you why. Hey, let the casuals come in and out. Give me the OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE Y2Jacket kicking off the show with the Highlight Reel. I'll let myself chuckle at the Jeritroll footage rolling on the Tron seeing him do the same stuff now except with a voice & getting cheered. That's a thing for me, or at least it feels that way. Not only did Mr. Cesaro keep Miz from commentating, he bumped him off the Reel and avoided the immovable object of my fandom vs. resistible object of my disgust. And we got to see why in another oh-right-that-WAS-super-awesome quick video. What do you call a metrosexual getting swung repeatedly into the barrier? STUPID AMERICAN! So before Chris gets to introduce the substitute guest, Ricardo comes out. Cue Del Rio, already fitting in ably as a fighting champion who's response to the largest athlete in the world and known dick to he & his is "Domingo, pinche gringo. Let's samba." (I'm rounding up.) Great interperson three-man occurs, with Chris not only bringing up his Corazon de Leon days and Del Rio's ancestry but noting if he wins and Alberto wins goodness aside HE'S COMING FOR THE BELT, DADDY. Ricardo only got a little time to shine but he got to show off his Madeline Kahn in Clue variation (en español tambien), and of course he was getting a chant by the time it was over despite the fact the majority of the audience had no idea what he was saying because he was hitting Mariah Carey octaves.
Then came the Blondtourage since Dolph is here to interrupt the seg HERE TO INTERRUPT THE SEG. Dolph runs his yap, reminds everbody of the briefcase. Alberto offers to shut him up by wrestling him. It was 10 minutes in. Some of my favorite people on the roster were shining. How could this get any better?
Oh, they could kick out the jams for 20 minutes, that's how. In a match that I should've had to pay for, Ziggler and Del Rio - no strangers to excellent pro graps work but somehow always doomed to be overlooked when Mssrs. Punk and Danielson are on the roster - were so awesome the people responsible for sweetening the show got to take a smoke break. Why was this happening on the C show right before the PPV? WHO CARES. It was about JBL putting over the fact that either on his own or with the Big E.'s help Dolph might cash in tonight and win the World Title here tonight. His nose grew a foot, but still, it added that little bit of cilantro to the sauce cooking in the ring. Ziggler took a .4 Ziggler off of a catapult. Not to be outdone, the World Champ took a .7 Ziggler over the top rope and face-first into the steps. It was that kind of gangsta party between two of America's most wanted grapplers. Did it stop there? What're ya, loco? Del Rio busted out an inverted superplex (¡!) that could've ended any match; Ziggler survived and uncorked the Best Dropkick in the Universe a couple of times for Alberto's trouble.
Not only that, but Del Rio took the trip to Elbow City. Zig may want to scrape that out of his arsenal, as the crowds this week were counting along with the elbow drops as somewhere backstage Ezekiel Jackson shed a tear. Del Rio's comebacks just look tres Layla McCool; he knows when to uncork them and somehow his getting fired up doesn't look contrived or phony. Possibly because he's just tapping into this side of the ledger. And him using the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker & basement superkick now that he's para la raza have always looked good. In there against Ziggler they looked like Joe Pesci getting made in Goodfellas. Ziggler's monster DDT could've ended it. Del Rio's forearms to the kidney binge and #10 being a Lungblower instead of another was not only innovative but also need to be added to his smile before he injects the poison arsenal. AJ started having to get involved as Del Rio started coming on with his third wave, and Ziggler got off the FameAsser and a sleeper. But funnily enough, the moment on the outside came as Big E delivered a cheapshot of his own and Ricardo got off a shot with the bucket that did nothing but make the big man chase him to the back. Monday, Ziggler fell prey to it. Wednesday he just got caught in the middle of the ring with the Code Red. Remember this moment if and when Ziggler cashes in on him, a moment I could've sworn was coming Sunday before this show happened but I'm now convinced will be happening at the Granddaddy of Them All. And go out of your way not only to see this match but remember it in 10 months when people're kicking around Match of the Year candidates. It was a pitch perfect half hour of television front to back that only made me sad when it reminded me of Community only getting 3 seasons.
We may not always get the triumphant notes we would like.
Our heroes may be forced to suffer the arrows and indignities of being overlooked or bad booking.
But every so often, a fully realized perfect or near perfect thing happens, and you get to see it, and you clap your palm against your brain.
Oh, right.
THAT'S why I'm here.
And this week, against all odds, was Main Event just that?
Si.
SI.
¡SI!