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| Cena needs something a bit different for bigger matches Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Rich Thomas and K. Sawyer Paul broached this topic on episode 80 of the International Object podcast when they brought up the situational use of the Burning Hammer, Kenta Kobashi's ultimate finisher, one he only used seven times in his illustrious career. Drop Toe Hold broached the topic even further to ask what Cena's Burning Hammer should be. Now I'm taking it even further. Cena's not the only guy who needs an ultimate finisher, though he does need one. The entire WWE needs to have one.
Okay, the entire WWE might be a bit extreme. There's no reason why Yoshi Tatsu needs to have an ultimate finisher, because who the fuck knows anymore what his normal finisher is? Side note, I'd like to see what Yoshi Tatsu's finisher would be more often. I'm going to stick with the full-time wrestlers who are in and around the main event scene, the exception being Ryback. Why? That dude's still new enough that we don't need to be thinking of ways to kick out of Shell-Shocked. Anyway, the rest of the crew is game, and that includes John Cena. So, here are the wrestlers who'd need a big finish, and what that finish would be.
Randy Orton:None needed - The first wrestler on the list, Orton, is the only one I think doesn't need a special finish. The "RKO out of nowhere" lends itself to so many scenarios of application, and it's also been even more protected than Orton has even been that Orton really doesn't need to have anything to skip up his danger factor. And besides, you could argue he already has one, even if The Punt has been reputedly banned by WWE management.
The Big Show:Pop-Up Knockout Punch - I think the KO Punch is as close to a rock-solid, match-ending finisher as you can get, because c'mon, that hamhock of a fist should be able to knock even the hardest jaw out, right? Well, they blew that out of the water with Sheamus, so there's precedent that it's not the be-all, end-all finish. I think the right flourish would be the perfect exclamation point. I hate to steal Antonio Cesaro's thunder, but would anyone object to Show busting out a pop-up right cross to finish his biggest matches after nothing else has worked? I know I wouldn't.
Sheamus:The Celtic Cross - This was Sheamus' for real, for real finisher for a while, but they seem to have settled on the Brogue Kick. That's fine, as I quite dig a good strike finish. This feels like an Undertaker-in-the-early-Aughts situation after all piledrivers had been banned and he was led to use the Last Ride as his finish. When the Tombstone was brought back, it was considered special above all other finishes. The Celtic Cross would fit that mold well, as I'm not even sure when the last time he used it was.
Daniel Bryan:Cattle Mutilation - Naturally.
Mark Henry:The Earthquake Hip Press - The World's Strongest Slam is already protected, and his Death from Above splash is definitely a worthy backup finish. However, if you really wanted to put an exclamation point on a Henry match, to have a move that no one, not even John Cena himself would kick out of, there isn't a better move I could think of than Henry rushing off the ropes to impactfully sit on his opponent's chest.
Kane:Last Ride Powerbomb - Kane inherited a good bit of his "brother's" moveset, so why not give him the Last Ride as a last-resort finish? You could argue that his main finisher is the chokeslam at this point, and that the Tombstone is his special match-ender, but I guess I just wanna see the Last Ride make a comeback. Such a bad-ass version of the powerbomb.
Rey Mysterio:Reverse Hurricanrana - Mysterio used to be known for his bouquet of ranas, but having the knees of someone the age of Methuselah makes it so that it's not a sustainable move for the man. He does whip out one every once in awhile, which is often a great nod to his past. He may not ever get to the point in his WWE career where he would be in a high-level main event match again, but if he did, well, the reverse rana would not only be a nod to that past, but it would look pretty brutal as well.
Dolph Ziggler:The Blockbuster - Ziggler's a show-off. He's going to need a move that embodies that quality. Ziggler's not the kind of guy who does rotations and corkscrews and flips, so the next best thing would be the move that was left in the hands of a guy in Buff Bagwell who didn't exactly leave the best legacy.
Alberto del Rio:La Mistica - We can all agree Sin Cara's never going to be a thing in WWE, right? Why let his awesome finisher go to waste? del Rio already has an arm submission, so this would fit his oeuvre and provide escalation. I mean, that's what these ultimate finishers are all about, right? Escalation? Plus, it would be the ultimate babyface move for him. He's going to be the next Latin sensation, right?
CM Punk:Piledriver/Devil Lock DDT - Okay, so, the piledriver has already been introduced as something Punk would use, but Cena kicked out of it in their landmark match on RAW. If you believe the sheets and their nebulous sources, Vince McMahon flipped his shit after it was used. So yeah, maybe that's not the most realistic move to go into Punk's bank, even if I think it would be the absolute best option. However, if the piledriver wouldn't work, then he could go to an old indie move he had, the Devil Lock DDT, a hammerlock leg trap variant of the iconic hold.
John Cena: That brings us to the man who inspired the column in the first place. John Cena. What murder-death-kill finisher would fit him? If anything, I think it should be unassuming, one that would make people think he's going to do the same old shit, but then bust out with something different, unexpected. His special occasion finisher should be the Death Valley Driver. It's just like the AA, except the impact point and motion are different. It's also a much more vicious-looking finisher, and one that WWE would be skittish about authorizing all the time for a match finish, thus forcing its restraint.
So, there you go, ultimate finishers for the WWE main event. I don't know if WWE will ever go the puroresu route in this manner, but I think we can all agree that it'd improve the color palette for the endings of the company's biggest matches.