Twitter Request Line, Vol. 165

Adam Cole (BAYBAY) has a great theme song if you ignore the problematic lyrics Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

@tholzerman What’s your favorite wrestling theme music that happens to have the worst/dumbest lyrics? #TweetBag

— Star of Savage (@StarOfSavage) July 27, 2016

Adam Cole's Ring of Honor theme song is catchy and jumpy and it befits a wrestler of his current disposition, but the lyrics aren't so much dumb as they are rapey at worst and creepy at best. "I've got something for you!" Representing a wrestler whose primary taunt is to ask his opponent to suck his dick, well, it's not a good look. But the music is goddamn on point though.

@tholzerman What's the funniest sequence you've ever seen in a match? #TweetBag

— Rich Fann II (@RDotDeuce) July 27, 2016

King of Trios '14, the Gentleman's Club vs. the Submission Squad, Chuck Taylor had tagged in to face off against Davey Vega. Taylor took out his legendary hand grenade and threatened to use it. Many thought he would take the pin off and toss it into the ring, but instead, he dropped it down Vega's pants. In total unpredictable style, Vega called timeout, stopped the match, turned to the crowd, and monologued like he was in an '80s teen coming of age movie. I don't know why I found it so hilarious, but I did. It was meta, even for Chikara.

What would happen if WWE/Smackdown invented a Trios title to be awarded at the Smackdown-exclusive PPV Backlash? https://t.co/xPsjhEBtNg

— Naito G1 Champ 2016 (@LUtang_Secret) July 27, 2016

Chris DeJoseph would probably tweet with great snark after the announcement of said title, and he'd get dogpiled by Wrestling Twitter.

In all seriousness actually, Smackdown is ill-equipped for a Trios Title right now because the roster is smaller by design. If WWE had divvied up the roster equally and not by show run time, then maybe that would be the show to have a Trios Championship. I always thought RAW should have the Six-Man Title and Smackdown keep the Tag Pennies. But WWE is re-signing a bunch of old dudes, and if they all get on board between now and Backlash, then a Trios Title Tournament would be hella fun. I have a sample field:

• American Alpha and Shelton Benjamin
• Apollo Crews, Akira Tozawa, and Ricochet/Kalisto (in case Ricochet can't appear on WWE TV just yet if he does get signed)
• Baron Corbin, Rhyno, and Stevie Richards
• The Vaudevillains and Jack Gallagher
• Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan, and Luke Harper
• Hype Bros. and No Way Jose
• Breezango and The Miz
• The Usos and Rikishi/Sean Maluta (either or, depending how much seasoning Maluta needs)

Of course, WWE would never run with a tournament with that specific lineup, but it's a nice thought exercise. Man though, a Trios tournament really needs some form of The Club, New Day, a Wyatt Family that is fully and reliably healthy, and Roman Reigns to team with the Usos to make perfect sense.

@tholzerman For the first takeover of 2017 who fights for the NXT Woman's Title?

— Drew Phone, Who Dis? (@thegnc) July 28, 2016

I see Asuka keeping the title and defending it at Takeover: New Year, Who This? against the ascendant Black Rose of Down Under, Billie Kay. Honestly, it's a grab-bag among a fine crop of female wrestlers ready to step up and usher in the third age of the NXT Women's Renaissance. Ember Moon, Peyton Royce, Nicola Glencross/Nikki Storm, and Liv "I still wanna call her Gionna Daddio" Morgan all could be in that spot too, but outside of Asuka remaining Champion, I have no real idea how this division is going to shake out. It's so new and exciting.

@tholzerman What's more likely: Ziggy defeating Ambrose or the Eagles making the playoffs? #tweetbag

— René Sanchez (@SupemarketSweep) July 28, 2016

The Eagles may not be favorites to make the playoffs, but they can surely sneak in a lot more realistically than Ziggler right now can defeat Ambrose for the strap at SummerSlam. Ziggler's spot feels like setting up a bigger story arc for him. The Eagles, however, reside in the biggest dumpster fire of a division in foot... err, I mean in the National Football Conference. I keep forgetting about the AFC South. Anyway, the defense is going to be legit with the personnel taking cues from Jim Schwartz. The offense will be iffy to put it lightly, but if it can put together a few drives here and there, then this team can get to 9-7 and win the division in a similar matter to how teams like the Ravens have done in the past.

@tholzerman If you could extend the career of any wrestler ever by 5 years, which wrestler would you pick? #TweetBag

— A Tired Black Man (@francisadujr) July 28, 2016

Bryan Danielson/Daniel Bryan, and it's not even close. If I could magically make him healthy enough to work, I would let him have his curtain call run as WWE Champion and evolve from that point into wherever his wild run would have taken him. While it was appropriate that his career didn't have a whole lot to it after that magical moment in New Orleans, I still feel like he had a lot more to give.

@tholzerman Would having all of the women on one brand or having the women's title float between brands be more effective?

— Lealand Hage (@LealandHage) July 28, 2016

Absolutely the latter scenario would be more effective. You can't have all the women on one brand, because that tells the audience that an entire gender is basically a niche division rather than an essential part to the company's fabric. While I don't think the one-title situation is going to last for much longer (the parade of women coming out after Becky Lynch vs. Nattie Neidhart seems to suggest another belt coming to Brand Blue), even if it did persist, Smackdown needs to have a healthy women's roster just for the representation factor.

Protected user @czach1r asks:

Should the CWC champ be crowned cruiserweight champ on Raw automatically?

Absolutely. Doing anything else is probably counterproductive to starting the division in the first place. You want to have your title to have stakes, so why not name the first Champion as someone who fought hard for it? Why not give your flashy cruiserweight tournament some added weight behind it other than bragging rights? Nothing in wrestling works if you don't give your audience a reason to care about it.

@tholzerman Give up to five active wrestlers new finishers. #TweetBag

— Matt Spaulding (@MattSpaulding22) July 28, 2016

• SETH ROLLINS, from Tripster Runoff, err, I mean the Pedigree to the Buckle Bomb/Inside Cradle Combo - The time has come for Rollins to stop being associated so hard with Triple H and have his own, unique finish. Since he can't have the Curb Stomp back, let him use the Buckle Bomb as a match ender. The inside cradle right after it ties into his "architect" epithet; he's smart enough to know that a wrangling pinning move can finish an opponent with greater probability than just a lateral press.
• CESARO, from the Gotch Neutralizer to the Ricola Bomb - It's not that the Gotch Neutralizer is a bad finish or even a bad move. It's just that AJ Styles is in WWE doing a similar move that's far more widely known. Besides, the Ricola Bomb is a majorly badass move.
• NIA JAX, from the Leg Drop to the Running Powerslam - Again, it's not that the leg drop is a bad finish, especially for someone whose legs look like they can smush the heck out of the mostly smaller women's roster on RAW. However, doing the leg drop all the time is what turned Hulk Hogan's spine into a piece of porcelain conduit. The running powerslam, whether Davey Boy Smith-style or the Oklahoma Stampede, would convey a similar amount of squishitude and allow Jax to have some semblance of health post-career.

I tried racking my brain for other people who could use a finisher change, but I just can't. Besides, the question says "up to," so I think three is a good compromise.

@tholzerman Do you think WWE should have let Sasha win the title at Summerslam instead? #tweetbag

— Robert (@lodownwrestling) July 28, 2016

No, WWE was good letting her win on the first RAW post-brand split. When booking the maiden chapter in a new voyage, one should have a big, memorable thing. For a three-hour RAW, maybe one super-memorable thing isn't enough. Having the ascendancy of Finn Bálor can't be enough, so having Banks win is a perfect complement to it.