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| TNA's savior is already under their banner, but it's not who you think... Screen Grab Credit: The Kayfabe Bloggers |
Butch: Hello, Blogites! Welcome to the opening installment of Coast to Coast, where site honcho TH (East Coast) and I, your loyally intrepid Biaser (Best Coast) will lay ruin to a distance of three thousand miles by electronically mailing back and forth through a series of tubes (as is my understanding), talking about the underserved wrestling topics of the moment.
Boss Man, I'll get this thing started--who do you think should save TNA from the Aces and Eights menace? Because I had an initial answer that was all right but a secondary answer I'd much rather see and I think is way more interesting.
TH: Well, it should actually be me, casting out the Carter family, shooing Eric Bischoff back from the desolate Big Sky wasteland from which he hails, and getting a mark photograph with the Hulkster (because no matter what he does, I can't hate on Hulk Hogan). But since that's a bigger pipe dream than the nightmares Mario has after a night of heavy drinking and Indian food, I'll try to be realistic.
The obvious answer is AJ Styles, as the redeemer that Sting never could be for WCW. But that's a boring answer, right? I'm not boring. I AM NOT A NUGGET (peace be upon brother Owen). So, and I want you to bear with me here, my answer is Bad Influence.
Think about it. TNA is, and has been, a boring cesspool of people who are all about THIS BUSINESS. They brought in Kurt Angle and sucked the last remaining bit of fun from him, completing the process that started when Angle started doing the hard drugs that made Vince McMahon toss his contract renewal request in the "LOL" bin. They painted a dick on Samoa Joe's face, turning him from cool badass into a frustrated joke. There's just been no levity, no friendship. Shouldn't you love your job?
Daniels and Kazarian are two guys who punch their timecards with grins on their faces as wide as the Grand Canyon. Let all the sticks in the mud fail. Then let Bad Influence drink appletinis and cosplay their way to shooing the Sons of Anarchy knock-offs out of the company. Hopefully, that'll usher in their Breaking Bad homage, preferably with Rob van Dam as a tweaker. I titter with glee at that thought. Anyway, what did you have in mind out there in the Whale's Vagina?
Butch: I suppose under your idea that'd make Robert Roode Hank and Eric Young as Walt, Jr. There's something to be said for our Breaking Impact universe, but I don't know if I could handle a world with a purple sky (cousin of velvet?).
But like you, I hit upon the obvious answer first. I don't know if I don't want it because it's too obvious or because I still have the pipe dream that a major wrestling company can successfully pull off a major tweener character for more than 3 weeks. It should be noted that between your world champion of the world choices and my own, we've all hit upon the same idea that Impact seems to be successfully hitting upon when it comes to their World Championship in the past 18 months or so: put it on one of their own. Kazarian's time in WWE was such a blip only distraught Velocity addicts getting YouTube eyejections remember it, and Bully Ray becoming the master of the long con touched upon his prior experience in the E but he never got to be the guy out in front like this. Also, I think it must be noted when he had to be a rough-and-tumble babyface to pull it off, he did that just as ably.
And I also don't want a super-serious man to lead them; they've been depending on pretty serious guys so far and they've been getting destroyed. So per our parameters we want a guy with a light, deft emotional touch who isn't A.J. Styles but is a guy entrenched in Impact and maybe expanding the boundaries of his character in new, unseen ways.
Put it another way?
I believe in Joseph Park (Esq.).
And if he's the one to knock Bully Ray off the top of the throne, it'd be another great case of recent long-term storytelling orbiting around the World Championship (prior to this I'd put Roode/Storm and the slow complete infiltration of A8--catch me in a good mood and I might throw in Austin Aries v. the World) that they've told in their new era. Joseph Park beating Bully Ray later in the year would pay off stuff going back to the days of Immortal in 2011 and would feature such a good match between the two (see: Slammiversary and their Impact hardcore match shortly after). And who couldn't get behind Joseph's rags to riches story? He's convivial, has a connection with the fans that's pretty easily read after a few seconds, and him "becoming a good wrestler" on his way to making the title Bullyfree is a vintage Rocky story waiting to happen. Like his archrival, he's proven he can handle either end of the alignment while still being a (in his case intentionally semi) competent brawler that isn't afraid getting himself dirty bumping. And Park winning would provide the seed of vulnerability that would keep the fans happy at first while still being worried something horrible was going to happen to his and the other shoe would drop, regiving the title back to one of the biker gang.
Thoughts?
TH: See, I would love Joseph Park as the Avatar/White Lantern/[insert messianic figure here], and I didn't even think of him. Damn you, Butch, Damn you to Hell (which is located in the heart of the Impact Zone... PROVEN BY SCIENCE!). Here's my one concern with that scenario though. There's an elephant in the room who was last seen getting his teeth shoot-kicked out by Rob van Dam. Park's endgame was to find that demonic brother, only to discover that like Rael in the seminal Genesis concept album The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, his brother was really in him, or WAS him the whole time. I forgive you if you didn't get that from listening to the double disc set. Peter Gabriel was on some pretty good shit at that point, I'm guessing.
Butch: More or less. I think it should happen over time, though, and he's wrestling like Abyss as World Champion by the end of the year. It'd be pretty jarring to see it happen in a couple of weeks and would slightly detract from the overhanging arc in my eyes.
Also as much as I love the Bossman Slam I'd like to see Park get a new finisher. That second rope splash would work fine by me, but he's effective at hitting any power move. I'd just like to see something that wasn't Abyss' finisher again but something wholly Park.
And there you have it: The Wrestling Blog believes in Joseph Park!
From the palm trees to the Atlantic breeze, this has been Coast to Coast, and your brush with greatness is over.
Boss Man, I'll get this thing started--who do you think should save TNA from the Aces and Eights menace? Because I had an initial answer that was all right but a secondary answer I'd much rather see and I think is way more interesting.
TH: Well, it should actually be me, casting out the Carter family, shooing Eric Bischoff back from the desolate Big Sky wasteland from which he hails, and getting a mark photograph with the Hulkster (because no matter what he does, I can't hate on Hulk Hogan). But since that's a bigger pipe dream than the nightmares Mario has after a night of heavy drinking and Indian food, I'll try to be realistic.
The obvious answer is AJ Styles, as the redeemer that Sting never could be for WCW. But that's a boring answer, right? I'm not boring. I AM NOT A NUGGET (peace be upon brother Owen). So, and I want you to bear with me here, my answer is Bad Influence.
Think about it. TNA is, and has been, a boring cesspool of people who are all about THIS BUSINESS. They brought in Kurt Angle and sucked the last remaining bit of fun from him, completing the process that started when Angle started doing the hard drugs that made Vince McMahon toss his contract renewal request in the "LOL" bin. They painted a dick on Samoa Joe's face, turning him from cool badass into a frustrated joke. There's just been no levity, no friendship. Shouldn't you love your job?
Daniels and Kazarian are two guys who punch their timecards with grins on their faces as wide as the Grand Canyon. Let all the sticks in the mud fail. Then let Bad Influence drink appletinis and cosplay their way to shooing the Sons of Anarchy knock-offs out of the company. Hopefully, that'll usher in their Breaking Bad homage, preferably with Rob van Dam as a tweaker. I titter with glee at that thought. Anyway, what did you have in mind out there in the Whale's Vagina?
Butch: I suppose under your idea that'd make Robert Roode Hank and Eric Young as Walt, Jr. There's something to be said for our Breaking Impact universe, but I don't know if I could handle a world with a purple sky (cousin of velvet?).
But like you, I hit upon the obvious answer first. I don't know if I don't want it because it's too obvious or because I still have the pipe dream that a major wrestling company can successfully pull off a major tweener character for more than 3 weeks. It should be noted that between your world champion of the world choices and my own, we've all hit upon the same idea that Impact seems to be successfully hitting upon when it comes to their World Championship in the past 18 months or so: put it on one of their own. Kazarian's time in WWE was such a blip only distraught Velocity addicts getting YouTube eyejections remember it, and Bully Ray becoming the master of the long con touched upon his prior experience in the E but he never got to be the guy out in front like this. Also, I think it must be noted when he had to be a rough-and-tumble babyface to pull it off, he did that just as ably.
And I also don't want a super-serious man to lead them; they've been depending on pretty serious guys so far and they've been getting destroyed. So per our parameters we want a guy with a light, deft emotional touch who isn't A.J. Styles but is a guy entrenched in Impact and maybe expanding the boundaries of his character in new, unseen ways.
Put it another way?
I believe in Joseph Park (Esq.).
And if he's the one to knock Bully Ray off the top of the throne, it'd be another great case of recent long-term storytelling orbiting around the World Championship (prior to this I'd put Roode/Storm and the slow complete infiltration of A8--catch me in a good mood and I might throw in Austin Aries v. the World) that they've told in their new era. Joseph Park beating Bully Ray later in the year would pay off stuff going back to the days of Immortal in 2011 and would feature such a good match between the two (see: Slammiversary and their Impact hardcore match shortly after). And who couldn't get behind Joseph's rags to riches story? He's convivial, has a connection with the fans that's pretty easily read after a few seconds, and him "becoming a good wrestler" on his way to making the title Bullyfree is a vintage Rocky story waiting to happen. Like his archrival, he's proven he can handle either end of the alignment while still being a (in his case intentionally semi) competent brawler that isn't afraid getting himself dirty bumping. And Park winning would provide the seed of vulnerability that would keep the fans happy at first while still being worried something horrible was going to happen to his and the other shoe would drop, regiving the title back to one of the biker gang.
Thoughts?
TH: See, I would love Joseph Park as the Avatar/White Lantern/[insert messianic figure here], and I didn't even think of him. Damn you, Butch, Damn you to Hell (which is located in the heart of the Impact Zone... PROVEN BY SCIENCE!). Here's my one concern with that scenario though. There's an elephant in the room who was last seen getting his teeth shoot-kicked out by Rob van Dam. Park's endgame was to find that demonic brother, only to discover that like Rael in the seminal Genesis concept album The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, his brother was really in him, or WAS him the whole time. I forgive you if you didn't get that from listening to the double disc set. Peter Gabriel was on some pretty good shit at that point, I'm guessing.
In a perfect situation, the endgame is that Park finds that Abyss was inside of him all along, and the two merge into one supreme being. Preferably, the affable lawyer Park keeps the exterior, or facade if you will, while adopting the savage in-ring style and ability of Abyss. Because really, just because the source material has the mask and the straggly long hair again doesn't mean the imitation needs to resurface too. Ya feel me, cuz?
Butch: More or less. I think it should happen over time, though, and he's wrestling like Abyss as World Champion by the end of the year. It'd be pretty jarring to see it happen in a couple of weeks and would slightly detract from the overhanging arc in my eyes.
Also as much as I love the Bossman Slam I'd like to see Park get a new finisher. That second rope splash would work fine by me, but he's effective at hitting any power move. I'd just like to see something that wasn't Abyss' finisher again but something wholly Park.
And there you have it: The Wrestling Blog believes in Joseph Park!
From the palm trees to the Atlantic breeze, this has been Coast to Coast, and your brush with greatness is over.