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I Can't Believe I Have to Write about Beach Balls, But Here I Am

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Cesaro doing the lord's work
Screengrab via @WWECesaro
Normally, when WWE hits places where the crowds get a bit, ahem, rowdy and start doing things like chanting for Randy Savage, I can tune it out. Honestly, WWE does reap what it sows in those scenarios. Conditioning people not to care about certain wrestlers and sending them out in the blandest scenarios is clearly a fault of planning and direction, not the fans. Fans provide instant feedback, and whether they're "normal" crowds or not, they are a focus group that doesn't mince words and that influences other crowds to follow suit. I hate that WWE has co-opted these audiences and effectively nerfed them so that they can ignore what those fans have to say, and sadly, those fans have decided to play along, leading to even more chicanery that manifested itself both Sunday at SummerSlam and Monday on RAW, as fans took to throwing beach balls around

Bored chanting is one thing. It's theoretically an organic reaction of rejection to stimuli produced for consumption. One hopefully doesn't attend a wrestling show in hopes of being dissatisfied enough to chant for someone who isn't there. Bringing a beach ball, however, is a premeditated act. One just doesn't have a foreign object materialize in their hands from the power of boredom or dissatisfaction, at least in this universe, although that would be a curious mutant power to have. But I digress. You don't bring a beach ball to a show without intending on throwing it around. You're not expressing distaste; you're making it a nuisance for everyone in the arena.

You could say in response, "well, who cares about ruining Vince McMahon's corporate wrestling fuckfest?" The problem while I couldn't be assed to give a single fuck about what McMahon thinks, it's not him that the beach ball partiers really ruin things for. Why else would he and his rat-faced commandant Kevin Dunn have put focus on the beach ball last night during the main event? It further drives home the theory that these hardcore-fan filled crowds are just CAH-RAZY and aren't representative of "real" fans. They can be dismissed and ignored, especially since their displays of puerility and boredom came during matches featuring "their" favorites like Cesaro, Finn Bálor, and Samoa Joe.

Meanwhile, anytime someone says that those workers are underappreciated by the company they work for is now undermined by these actions. How can you expect a push for Cesaro or Bálor if you can't even care enough to pay attention during their matches, in Cesaro's case, a fairly important match. But what about guys like Sheamus, John Cena, Jason Jordan, and Roman Reigns? It's disrespectful as fuck to all those workers who bust their asses for your entertainment all because you decided you were going to make it about you. It's also disrespectful as fuck to the fans who also paid money, same as you, not to make a spectacle in the crowd but to watch the fucking show. I'm talking about people with children who want to watch the show and whose tastes aren't some contrarian shade of paying money to tell McMahon how much you hate his top stars. Joke's on you, because he gets your money just the same. Meanwhile, now you're willfully distracting people who want to watch.

Your pathetic attempts at protesting don't work, and furthermore, what you're protesting isn't even that important. WWE is pushing guys you don't like? Big fuckin' deal, you're the one continuing to prop the company up with your dollars and economic windfall into the areas it runs. Meanwhile, you're still there chanting USA during Jinder Mahal matches and accepting other sexist and otherwise bigoted tropes WWE shoves at you. All you do when you throw a beach ball is make the experience worse for people who want to be there and experience a live show for what it is. And the worst thing is that McMahon is using it all as ammunition against your complaints that he doesn't provide what you want. You're a willing mark in his game, and he's laughing at you. Maybe rethink your strategy and do something that doesn't involve fucking things up for everyone else for selfish and unimportant reasons.

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