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| Pictured above: not impressive Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Starting the Show with a Solid KO
If you're going to begin an episode with a lot of talking, you'd better make sure the guy doing the talking is really good at it. Enter Kevin Owens. In the start-of-show segment we were reminded of the history and consistency of his character (of course his first action is to fire Sami Zayn), his dedication to being a bad guy (cancelling the Fashion Files? You monster!), and his cowardice at heart (losing his cool when Shane McMahon's music hit). The final talking point with Daniel Bryan also set up the stakes not just for this episode but for Smackdown in the near future. Everything was hanging in the balance until Mr. McMahon showed up. Until then we'd all just have to sit and wait, and in the meantime we'd have three championship matches to watch. The whole bit was entertaining as hell and also upped the audience's interest in the rest of the show. I was actually excited to settle in and watch wrestling, which hasn't been my reaction to Smackdown in weeks. Kevin Owens should start off every show.
Being High on Tye
AJ Styles' gesture of goodwill to Tye Dillinger resulted in a furiously intense bout that I enjoyed a whole lot. Styles probably anticipated that he'd get an fairly effortless win over Dillinger, so it was fun watching him adapt as Dillinger proved to be a match for him. There were breathtaking near-falls (or rather breath-holding, since I was literally holding my breath at one point until Styles kicked out) and Dillinger's aggressive tactics had me almost convinced that he could win. For someone whose character is really just “Guy We Like” Dillinger is proving to be a tough go-getter with a lot of heart. He's a good guy but not a pushover. Styles may have given him an opportunity, but he wasn't going to hold back out of gratitude. Corey Graves did a lot to put over the narrative of Dillinger as a hard worker who's just never been able to win the prize, which adds a valuable layer of history and continuity to his character. He's really connecting as a scrappy underdog, and I hope he sticks around the title scene. Also, after tapping out to the calf crusher, he remembered to keep selling the leg after the match was done, so bonus points there.
Brushing Brilliance
If Jinder Mahal was just a better speaker, his in-ring segment would have been masterful. As it was, I was completely suckered in at first. During the parade of shitty slideshow jokes I just kept disbelievingly wondering if he was supposed to be doing every awful face promo we've ever seen and, of course, that's exactly what he was doing. I just wish he'd hit the beat much more sharply between “Oh, you think this is funny and we're pals now?” and “Think again, you racist fucks.” It could have been a much more sobering look in the mirror for the audience faced with the truth of how quickly they'll turn on even their favourites and how all it takes is some lowest-common-denominator “humour,” but I think it was still effective. Mahal claiming that really he's doing Nakamura a favour while he continually uses his lackeys to hang on to his championship is golden. Him putting on a noble air, even if there's some truth to it, while still cheating to win is the first bit of solid heel characterization he's gotten.
...also I really liked Mahal's polka dot pocket square.
The Honour System
Like a lot of people I was kind of side-eyeing the Usos for picking a street fight as their stipulation since that meant Xavier Woods could interfere all he liked for New Day with no consequences, but it looks like the Usos were right to trust that New Day would play fair because we didn't see Woods at all during the Tag title match.
It's not controversial to say that both these times have been on fire lately. Their SummerSlam match stole the show before the actual show had even begun, so adding in foreign objects was just adding a complementary ingredient to an already great mix. Personally I think they would have done just fine without props, but the match was still pretty great. The fact that all four men were in the thick of it all at once meant that there was always something going on, and there wasn't any downtime. At times it was even hard to keep track of everyone, but I liked that. Outright brawling chaos is what these two teams have come to. Every action was setting up something else to come and everything was hard-hitting and well-paced. I liked that we were once again shown how hard it is to take down Big E as he ate superkick after superkick. In a way I'm disappointed that New Day won the titles back because a loss might have pushed Big E into singles competition (and I also quite liked the Usos as champions), but really it's fine.
I just hope some of the other tag teams can have a look-in soon.
Leashing Potential
We didn't get to see either Natalya or Naomi's entrances but we did have camera time for a YouTuber I've never heard of and Ronda Rousey in the crowd. Because why hype your wrestlers when you can curry favour with anyone else? Ugh.
Anyway, Natalya and Naomi had a decent match. Unfortunately, it felt like we were just getting the rematch out of the way with no real indication for what's happening next. Natalya has barely said two words since winning the championship, and I have no idea who she's supposed to be right now. Carmella is still hovering but, as I've said before, I don't need to be constantly hit on the head with the Money in the Bank contract's existence. The women's division just feels stale right now, which is ridiculous because there are talented people in it. It's not awful by any means, but I hope things pick up soon and that Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair return from their tea party on Mars or wherever they are.
A Low Ryder
I was happy that I got to see Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin even if it was only for a quick bout against the apparently not disbanded Hype Bros. Weirdly it was Zack Ryder who got a spotlight when he stormed off in high dudgeon like taking the pin for his team was anyone's fault but his. I want to see more of Gable and Benjamin gelling as a team, not mopey Zack Ryder.
The McMahon Of It All
Ah, this is the part where I'm supposed to be impressed at Vince McMahon taking the damage he did at his age. The thing is, though, I'm really not. Everything that Kevin Owens did at the start of the show was overshadowed by Vince McMahon McMahoning all over the place and pulling focus. That's what they do. Every McMahon seems to think their presence elevates a story when really it just takes over. What need was there for Mr. McMahon to get involved or be attacked by Owens? We already know Kevin Owens is a terrible person: untrustworthy, petty, underhanded. We don't need commentary being horrified that Owens would dare attack a detestable old man.
In fact, all McMahon's shtick did was show Owens to be completely in the right. McMahon went into graphic detail about how he wished Shane had violently harmed Owens (for the crime, remember, of just mentioning that his children exist), that he ADMIRED Shane for assaulting someone who didn't fight back, and revealed that he's completely fine with management manhandling employees and, worst of all, that he can flout the law because he has money. And people were cheering him for bragging about his privilege and how no one can touch him because of how broken the justice system is, cheering for this frankly terrifyingly true insight into the state of America. If the crowd revealed itself to be easily led during the Jinder Mahal segment, their appalling standards were compounded during this.
Kevin Owens is now a god damn hero for fighting this system. Up the workers!
Shane McMahon's going to jump off a thing, though, so, you know, get hype for that or whatever.