The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 18, 2017

No one did it better than Heenan Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Bobby "The Brain" Heenan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The impact that Heenan had on the wrestling industry was felt more deeply and widely than nearly all but a handful of wrestlers. The outpouring of emotion that spilled onto Twitter and Facebook from fans, colleagues, and those who followed in his footsteps shows how much of an impact he had. Not bad for a man whose most popular nickname outside of "Brain" was "Weasel," right?

2. Toni Storm's Tiny Hat (Last Week: 3) - Storm won the STARDOM Five Star Grand Prix over the weekend, and I have to give the credit to her tiny hat for giving her the strength to power through and defeat the best in the world like Io Shirai, Kris Wolf, and, for some reason, Mandy Leon? Hopefully, she gets a tiny crown to wear for her accomplishments.

3. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 1) - Sure, Strowman didn't do anything new since the last rankings, but that was mostly my fault for being late on the rankings. One can bask in the afterglow of his one-man human demolition derby power for years after singular events happen. It's a scientific fact, like how scientists are still measuring background radiation from the Big Bang.

4. Red Robin Garlic Parmesan Fries (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Honestly, why get anything else there, unless you're a vampire? Garlic, herbs, and parmesan cheese are the perfect combination, and you get bottomless refills. Just don't bring a date there and order those if you wanna get lucky afterwards.

5. Princesa Sugehit (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Even though she lost her lucha de apuesta against Zeuxis, she, like La Sombra and Dr. Wagner Jr. and so many other proud luchadors and luchadoras before her gave up her mask to show that she really had nothing to hide underneath it. Seriously, what is it with attractive lucha types wearing masks and not making all the uggos wear them? I kid, I kid, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and no one is really ugly unless they're a Nazi. Anyway, the presumed next stop for Sugehit is WWE, but even if it's not, it's a good thing.

6. Duke Johnson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - No Odell Beckham, Jr.? No problem! The Cleveland Browns' running back made this spectacular highlight reel grab, which was one of the only high points in the team's loss to the Baltimore Ravens yesterday. Hey, if you're going to lose, you might as well make it exciting.

7. Rhys Hoskins (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Hoskins continues to hit home runs at a historic pace since being called up to the big leagues. He has 18 home runs in 159 plate appearances, which puts him on pace to break the all-time home run record sometime in August 2027.

8. Adalaide Byrd (Last Week: Not Ranked) - You say she made a mockery of boxing judging when she scored the Canelo Alvarez/Gennady Gennadyevich Golovkin fight 118-110 in favor of Alvarez, but I say boxing judging has been a mockery since the '80s at the very least. If you're going to go heel, you go full heel and embrace the shit out of your lunacy. Adalaide Byrd paid early tribute to Heenan Saturday night, and I am here for it.

9. Toni Storm (Last Week: 5) - Eh, I guess the wrestler herself did okay.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - Oney Lorcan sees no more fitting tribute to The Brain than to continue to be here for porkin'.