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| What could have been... Photo Credit: WWE.com |
In all honesty though, there have been maybe, what, two, three guys who have feuded with Trips and come out looking better for it? Batista and He Who Shall Not Be Named are two, and The Rock is questionable. It's not exactly a track record for success. While in theory, putting these two "big stars" together should amount to a draw (I can't say whether that pairing has been a financial success, because WWE's numbers are so muddled right now that I don't know what individually draws anymore outside of The Rock), when you have a physically imposing beast with real life fighting credentials like Lesnar, putting him against a guy for whom selling is goddamn impossible is the opposite of having a good story being told.
There's no doubt in my mind that Lesnar's services could have been used better since returning. There are probably a billion ways that they could have told his story so far in WWE, so for me to pretend I have the only way would be arrogant. However, the following retroactive plan of action, I hope, would be among that coterie of options that would have been better than what we've gotten. So, without further ado...
Night after Mania through Extreme Rules: I would do absolutely nothing different here EXCEPT for the finish of the match with John Cena. Rather than eating a pinfall, I would have Lesnar kick out of the Attitude Adjustment on the steps, much to the incredulity of Cena. As Cena paces the ring in disbelief, Lesnar recovers, snatches him, and F5s him on the steps for the pinfall victory. What this does is it establishes Lesnar as every bit the monster he was before he left for UFC, and it makes the "John Cena had a terrible year" narrative ring truer than it would do in the real timeline when WrestleMania 29 rolls around.
Night after Extreme Rules: Lesnar claims that he's done all there is to do in WWE and walks out.
RAW 1000: The Rock, as he does in the real timeline, announces he's getting the title shot at the Royal Rumble. CM Punk walks out and interrupts him, claiming that he is planning on not only having the longest title reign in WWE history, but that he's going to do it on "all-star difficulty" in the process. After defeating John Cena later that night, he calls out Lesnar for SummerSlam, refuting the claim that he's done everything there is to do in WWE because he's never beaten Punk. Punk does not turn by attacking Rocky at the end of the night, but instead, Big Show, still beefing with Cena, knocks both men out to close the show. What this does is spare us the triple threat match at SummerSlam, gives Lesnar something to do other than engaging in THIS BUSINESSing with Triple H, and it lets Punk have a fresh match.
Build to SummerSlam: Lesnar accepts the challenge through his lawyer and agent, Paul Heyman. Punk and Heyman spend the weeks between RAW 1000 and SummerSlam verbally jousting on the microphone.
SummerSlam: Punk vs. Lesnar happens as the main event on the show. Lesnar looks like he's going to pounce on Punk towards the end of the match, but Punk grabs the ref and uses him as a human shield. With the ref out, Heyman enters the ring and low blows Lesnar, allowing Punk to get a couple of chair shots in before a Go 2 Sleep in front of the dizzy but conscious referee. He gets the cheap win, he and Heyman embrace after the match, and Punk continues to work over Lesnar after the match.
After SummerSlam: Punk and Heyman Bond villain speech it up as to why they did what they did. Punk does a similar explanation he would do in the real timeline after heeling on Rock, saying that he'd been WWE Champion for about nine months now, and the only way he got to be in the main event was by going above and beyond what anyone else had to do as Champion. He says he shouldn't have to summon the Leviathan to get the main event slot over Cena, who is mired in the worst year of his career currently, but now that he's done what he's done, things are going to change. He went out and got Heyman, the biggest power playing agent in WWE history, to help ensure his place. Heyman's explanation is that he was tired of representing someone who didn't appreciate him, that Lesnar left him high and dry in WWE, and that Lesnar forgot about him during his UFC career, that he only came crawling back when he needed something. Heyman says he relished the opportunity to represent a "Paul Heyman guy." Cena, of course, takes exception to all this, and it sets the stage for what would happen the rest of the year.
The Royal Rumble: Nothing changes from Night of Champions until the Rumble excepting that Vince McMahon doesn't make his decree that if The Shield interferes in the match, Punk loses the title. Instead of the hokey "lights go out" bullshit and match restart, we get the Shield coming from the crowd to interfere. However, before they make it, their music is cut off by Lesnar's. The Beast rushes the ring to take on all three members of The Shield. He is successful at first, but that DAMN NUMBERS GAME overcomes him. However, the distraction is enough to allow Rocky to hit the Rock Bottom/People's Elbow combo to win the WWE Championship.
Between the Rumble and Mania: Scared shitless on the threat of Lesnar's return to WWE, Heyman somehow doctors evidence enough to get a restraining order that bars Lesnar from appearing 50 feet or closer from any WWE event (it's wrestling, just go with it). Punk remains committed to his rematch with Rocky, even if he's always looking over his shoulder. The rematch at Elimination Chamber plays out the same as it would have in the real timeline, as do the events that give us Cena vs. Punk for Cena's spot in the WrestleMania main event. Why? I'm not taking that match off the table under any circumstances.
Anyway, the week after that match happens, Heyman is called away on "important business" about a prospective new client. We find out later in the show that it was a ruse, and that Lesnar was the one who called him away. He threatens physical harm on Heyman unless he gets the restraining order lifted and accepts a match at WrestleMania. Punk tries to call his bluff, but as soon as Lesnar gets Heyman in the kimura, Punk accepts. For aesthetic purpose, Heyman shows up to WWE events for the indefinite future wearing a foam neck brace. Why? Because managers are better while wearing the foam neck brace, that's why.
WrestleMania 29: Of course, splintering Punk away from Undertaker would change the Mania card drastically. The Streak match is changed to Undertaker vs. Mark Henry, Ryback remains in the alliance match vs. The Shield, and Big Show is in a special attraction match against Shaquille O'Neal. Obviously, Lesnar beats Punk, because that's where the story is set to end.
Night After Mania through Extreme Rules: We're right back where we started with Lesnar, who comes out and challenges John Cena for a shot at the title he was screwed out of at SummerSlam, with the intent on translating the Ryback heel turn stuff until after Extreme Rules (where it might play better anyway with a crowd that wouldn't cheer him vociferously for beating Cena up). Their rematch is another hard fought affair with both guys kicking out of finishers. Lesnar locks in the kimura, but Cena finds a way to jackknife into a pin while still caught in it to get the 1-2-3 victory. Lesnar looks up in disbelief after the match, which he dominates mostly. However, afterwards, the two shake hands.
RAW tonight: The Shield beats the crap out of Lesnar, sending him on his vacation until he's needed again.
Of course, I think that's a better plan because I wrote it. Why would I give those ideas tangibility if I didn't? However, what do you think? As you can see, the win-loss record is the same, but I hope you guys find that the perception of Lesnar is stronger than it seems to be now. Plus, we're spared of Triple H for prolonged periods of time. That's the important part, right?