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Wrestling merchandise is not the most attractive field of capitalist goods for purchase. WWE and New Japan shirts look like someone vomited in Ed Hardy patterns, and indie wrestlers have never met a parody idea that they thought was in poor taste for their shirts. Other items of interest can be threadbare at times. Again, WWE's non-clothing products can be sketchy, and on the indies, you'd be lucky to get someone making a bumper sticker or a foam product to put on your hands. Chikara may be the exception, as you can find various random trinkets at their tables like when Dez Peloton sold bike bells, but again, it's still not bountiful.
Finally though, New Japan Pro Wrestling has a product for you, the discerning wrestling fan. Introducing the Kazuchika Okada Rainmaker Dollar Shooter:
Honestly, I have never wanted a piece of wrestling merch more, or at least since the Estonian Thunderfrog had those Obama parody hope and change shirts that said "Ribbit" on them. God, why did I wear that shirt while I was putting liquid chlorine in my pool? WHY GODDAMN YOU WHY WHY? Anyway, that was my own damn fault. This piece of wrestling memorabilia, however, is solid gold, if not in construction, then in worth.
Of course, this product was meant to shoot the Okada bucks, the pieces of paper that have no monetary value, in a setting where you're not bothering anyone and can easily clean the mess up. As a responsible adult who believes in the social compact, I'd say use this thing responsibly. As a shitposting little asshole though, I am so tempted to take this thing out and pay for goods and services by shooting cash out of my novelty wrestling-related toy. Granted, it would be hella rude to shoot money at a wage slave at a fast food restaurant. They get paid peanuts to take people's shit. However, one place in particular would be perfect for this item, and it brings the Okada character full circle back to his beginnings, before his gimmick became "guy whomst holds the title a lot." That's right, I'm talking about the strip club, baby.
No matter how you use it though, you have to admit that this is among the most unique pieces of merchandise ever. Personally, I would shank my mother just for the chance to buy one, but hey, thankfully for me, New Japan has made it so I don't have to do that and I can just exchange real live currency for one.
Finally though, New Japan Pro Wrestling has a product for you, the discerning wrestling fan. Introducing the Kazuchika Okada Rainmaker Dollar Shooter:
Make it rain like Okada with the Rainmaker dollar shooters! 💵— NJPW Global (@njpwglobal) May 29, 2019
Get yours at the following link:https://t.co/iH5nPbCO8T
Recreate Okada's famous entrance wherever you go!#njpw#njpwshop#rainmakerpic.twitter.com/u0Od2wTqvd
Honestly, I have never wanted a piece of wrestling merch more, or at least since the Estonian Thunderfrog had those Obama parody hope and change shirts that said "Ribbit" on them. God, why did I wear that shirt while I was putting liquid chlorine in my pool? WHY GODDAMN YOU WHY WHY? Anyway, that was my own damn fault. This piece of wrestling memorabilia, however, is solid gold, if not in construction, then in worth.
Of course, this product was meant to shoot the Okada bucks, the pieces of paper that have no monetary value, in a setting where you're not bothering anyone and can easily clean the mess up. As a responsible adult who believes in the social compact, I'd say use this thing responsibly. As a shitposting little asshole though, I am so tempted to take this thing out and pay for goods and services by shooting cash out of my novelty wrestling-related toy. Granted, it would be hella rude to shoot money at a wage slave at a fast food restaurant. They get paid peanuts to take people's shit. However, one place in particular would be perfect for this item, and it brings the Okada character full circle back to his beginnings, before his gimmick became "guy whomst holds the title a lot." That's right, I'm talking about the strip club, baby.
No matter how you use it though, you have to admit that this is among the most unique pieces of merchandise ever. Personally, I would shank my mother just for the chance to buy one, but hey, thankfully for me, New Japan has made it so I don't have to do that and I can just exchange real live currency for one.
