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| He could do the Austin 3:16 promo in reverse! Photo Credit: New York Daily News |
1. Tim Tebow
If you want a guy who embodies the phrase "Controversy Creates Cash," it's Tebow, a man who made a career in the NFL despite being generally awful at his position. It helps when your daddy has so much influence with the movers and shakers of America. Anyway, if wrestling is going to move into an era where there are no more heels or faces, but just cults of personality, then who better than Tebow to lead his army of evangelical fans against everyone else who just wants to see him get his ass kicked on a regular basis? I'd be shocked if Vince McMahon hasn't already had his people make at least two phone calls a day to the Tebow residence to see if he wants to abandon football and come work for him.
2. Terrell Brown
Brown hasn't even played a down yet, but he's drawn immense interest because he might just be the biggest person ever to play in the NFL. He's 6'10" and a whopping 403 lbs. of humanity. Wrestling has always been kind to giants, and Big Show is getting up there in years. He might be a natural for the squared circle if he doesn't end up proving everyone who thinks he's too big (and thus too immobile) to play offensive line in today's pro football.
3. Chris Kluwe
The outspoken former punter for the Minnesota Vikings is one of the most gifted wordsmiths who has ever played a down of football. If WWE ever wanted to reverse field and actually have a dude play a babyface who's not only charismatic but a decent person, then they would work on getting Kluwe to get his ass in gear and start a wrestling career. If all else fails? He'd be an EXCELLENT foil for Tebow.
4. Bart Scott
He can already cut a promo. That's half the battle, man. No matter how good he ends up being in the ring, he'd be an instant draw because of his ability to get under people's skins and rile up crowds. He's what we like to call "a natural."
5. Terrence "Mount" Cody
Not gonna lie, I have an extreme bias towards fat guys in my wrestling. The closest thing we have in the mainstream is Kevin Steen, and he's not really a "fat guy" as much as he's just an awesome wrestler who happens to have my body type rather than Chris Masters'. Mount Cody is a righteous inheritor for such thrill-inducing fat-guy moves like the corner avalanche, the Banzai Drop, and the Death from Above splash. And if all else fails on his mic skills, maybe Vince can lure Nick Saban away from Alabama to be his mic man.
6. Michael Vick
Hey, he's already got a ring name that WWE can purchase for the right price. Who wouldn't want to see Ron Mexico take on Daniel Bryan on WWE PPV, especially if Bryan gets to stretch him six ways to Sunday?