Your First Round King of Trios Matchups Are Here

Will Nick Gage be able to keep his language PG in the presence of Scott Steiner? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

King of Trios is THIS WEEK, GUYS. Can you believe it? Trios will emanate live from the Goodwill Beneficial Association in Reading, PA Friday through Sunday, and the best news is you won't have to buy tickets to watch it as it happens. For the low price of $10/month, you can check out Trios on Independent Wrestling TV. I'm sorry if that sounds like an ad, and I assure you, I'm not getting paid to tell you about this. I'm just really excited for King of Trios, almost as excited as Rusev was to see Lana making out with Bobby Lashley at the end of RAW last night. Well, maybe not that excited.

So, all 16 teams have been announced for the big tournament, and Chikara has announced all eight first round matches. Hoo boy, some of them are doozies, let me tell ya. The marquee matchup will pit the first and last teams announced against each other. Team Pump, consisting of Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams, and the namesake and allfather Scott Steiner, will battle Team MDK, Nick Gage, Thomas Santell, and Kris Statlander. This is an intriguing match for several reasons. First, one of the most star-studded guest teams will be going home night one. Second, Chikara has a strict family-friendly atmosphere, and with Steiner and Gage in the ring at the same time, well, let me just say Mike Quackenbush better talk to both of them beforehand and remind them that they have to keep it clean. Finally, the last time Gage and Steiner were in the ring together was at the ICW New York show Party and Bullshit, where Steiner walked out on the match. The stakes are already incredibly high for this match in addition to advancement in the tournament.

Another match of note pits the Fightin' Hatfield Clan against the Creatures of the Deep. Normally, the Grand Champion and his son/niece combo would be shoo-ins to advance except for niece is annoyed with uncle, cousin hates cousin and the other cousin can't deal, and dad is eternally mad at son. While Oceanea and her minions do not pose the existential threat as the Crucible's autoimmune response gone haywire, they're a dangerous enough squad that they may be able to overwhelm the feudin' family to set wheels in motion towards the season finale.

The other first round matches are as follows:

• Quack Pack (Mike Quackenbush and the Ugly Ducklings) vs. The Colony (Fire, Green, and Thief Ants)
• Karate Kat Xtreme (Lucas Calhoun, Stray Kat, and Missile Assault Man) vs. The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Jack Bonza, and Adam Hofmann)
• Team FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, and Travis Huckabee) vs. The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, and Sal Rinauro)
• Crucible Prime (Ophidian, Lance Steel, and Kimber Lee) vs. The Velocities (Mat Diamond, Jude London, Paris DeSilva)
• Crucible B-Team (EM DeMorest, Matt Makowski, and Devantes) vs. Three Queens (Solo Darling, Willow Nightingale, and Freddie Mercurio)
• The Legion of Rot (Hallowicked, Frightmare, and Kobald) vs. The Carnies (Nick Iggy, Kerry Awful, and Tripp Cassidy)

All in all, night one is shaping up to be raucous, wild, and most importantly fun. No tournament bracket has been released, so who knows which winners will face off night two.

Speaking of night two, another match has been added to the slate along with the four quarterfinal matches, two Rey de Voladores four-way qualifiers (Cajun Crawdad and Alex Zayne announced), and Still Life with Apricots and Pears vs. BLANK. John Francisco of Coronado's, the Ecuadorian national turned patriotic American after Ecuador stripped him of his goodwill ambassadorship for tax evasion, will be wrestling. Against whom? No one knows except for the Director of Fun! Coronado's will find out when his opponent steps from behind the curtain. If I had to put money on it, I would say it would be Chuck Taylor, especially after he posted this tweet:

Was I supposed to have a last indy match? Did I not do it? Fuck man I blew it no one had to sit through a bad promo where I put myself over for 10 minutes and people pretend to be happy for me

— Chuck Taylor (@SexyChuckieT) September 30, 2019

However, knowing Chikara, it's no guarantee who it might be. Night three will give you the final three matches in Trios, the finals of Rey de Voladores, and that dang tag gauntlet that everyone knows and loves. The first two announced teams are Los Ice Creams and the Closers, and joining them are the mighty science experiments gone horribly wrong, or if you're Professor Nicodemus, horribly right, The Proteus Wheel. Callux the Castigator and Volgar will look to smush all teams coming their way, and they are one of the few tandems who can physically intimidate, or at least stand toe to toe with, the Closers.

Whether or not you can make it to Reading, you can enjoy Trios this year live as it happens. The flagship event of Chikara and the biggest tournament in all wrestling are must-see events, and now, you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home to watch. Just get yourself an IWTV sub, and watch it in your underwear for all I care. Or maybe throw on a pair of basketball shorts. Chikara is kid-friendly, you know.