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| Pictured: A far better spokesperson for WWE's fast food interests Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Jerry Lawler had a heart attack on the air almost a year ago. Granted, he's a grown-ass man who can eat whatever he wants, and him feigning interest in Sonic or Hardee's is far different from him eating it. Whatever the man does backstage or off-camera is his own business, but when WWE flaunts it on screen, well, it makes me feel icky. I personally don't want to live through the harrowing and downright uncomfortable sequence on RAW that happened after Lawler nearly died on camera.
The King even pretending to ignore doctors' advice and put himself at risk for recursion of his maladies doesn't set well with me. Honestly, I don't care if it's in WWE's right to make Lawler its spokesperson for that kind of food; it's ineffective advertising, because it doesn't make me want to patronize those fast food chains. All the Lawler ads do is make me cringe, fear for his health, and want to head to the supermarket salad bar to make a healthy dish with bean sprouts, lettuce, and raw cauliflower.
The other target of these ads manifested herself last night. Vickie Guerrero spent the first part of a backstage segment chowing down on a Hardee's Triple Thickburger. It was a great commercial at first, because she looked like she was enjoying it for one, and two, the line of "It's my job as managing supervisor of RAW to eat this burger," absolutely slayed me. But then, Vince McMahon had to walk his jerk-ass into the picture, dress Guerrero down for being a "slob" and fat-shame her. Again, blatant misogyny aside there, that segment didn't end up making me want a Thickburger. It made me feel bad for Guerrero for one, and two, it made me self-conscious of the food I'd eat for fear someone in a position of power would look down on me for my choice of cuisine.
Either WWE hates getting advertising revenue, or they have no idea how the idea of selling a product works, especially one they didn't create. The biggest shame of it is that they have someone on the roster who is just BUILT to sell whatever food they are hawking. They even teased it last year when he stole all the Subway sandwiches that Jared brought to RAW.
Who better to hawk burgers, milkshakes, and other big-boy foods than Ryback? Yeah, he's a heel, but I'm increasingly growing weary of worrying about alignment in a company that has no idea how alignments should work. Besides, half the crowd wants to cheer him right now anyway. What would be so wrong about him being the one to shill fast food? It would be a billion times less gross and offensive, and they'd, y'know, actually sell burgers rather than make people feel ashamed or apprehensive about the products they're supposed to be enticing people to purchase in exchange for advertising dollars.
If bad commercial writing/acting were the only things wrong, I wouldn't have an issue. But when you start putting out spots that make viewers feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, then that's where I can't really sit back and shut up anymore. I take this as free advice for WWE. Sure, who am I but some wiseass on the Internet, right? Well, I'm also a viewer and a prospective customer. If WWE can't sell me on burgers because they're either sexist pigs or tone-deaf to their spokesperson's health concerns, then why should a company give them money to have that product featured on their show?