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| Run. Photo Credit: WWE.com |
First up, @Enrico_Palazzo_ wants to hear some Jackyl...
...and then he asks where I see the WWE taking the Wyatt Family.
I'd certainly hope that if WWE took them out for a seafood dinner that they wouldn't neglect to call them the next day. Can you tell I'm already geeked out for Anchorman 2?
In all seriousness, I have no idea where the endgame is. The first and only time they tried a character in the same oeuvre of Max Cady from Cape Fear was the before-his-time Waylon Mercy. A character based off such a theatrically-gritty incarnation was too real for the gaudily-colored and occupationally-gimmicked WWF at the time. Now that the atmosphere, writing team, and fanbase has changed, maybe the Wyatts will fare a little better? I don't know. I'm hopeful, because the vignettes are awesome and they have such a massive buzz from FCW/NXT surrounding them, but I really don't know. It's also pretty weird that the only trios in WWE are heel trios, which makes their feuding options interesting to say the least. I would love to see them on a collision with The Shield, but would that be too much to ask for WWE Creative? The theme of this answer? I DON'T KNOW.
@OkoriWadsworth also has a two-parter this round. First, he wants to know whom I think has the best gear in wrestling right now.
I don't know who has the best overall gear, because it's hard to really critique most people when they wear some variation of trunks, pads, and boots. Overall, I guess my favorite would have to be the Estonian Thunder Frog, because he's a gosh darn Thunder Frog. I will say this though; my favorite single piece of gear is probably AJ Lee's knee-high Converse Chuck Taylor boots. Those boots fit her character so well, and they're just neat looking.
Next, he wants my dream Battle of Los Angeles field.
Well, let's set some parameters first. We'll do a sixteen-wrestler, two day, single elimination tournament. "Dream" implies that I should have no parameters on who would be in it, but I will keep it confined to wrestlers who aren't signed to either WWE or TNA right now. So, here we go. First up, Willie Mack, Brian Cage, and Joey Ryan would represent So Cal. Kevin Steen, Chuck Taylor, Roderick Strong, Adam Cole, Ricochet, and Rich Swann would be the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla non-So Cal regulars I'd include. As for first-timers, give me ACH, Kyle Matthews, Jessicka Havok, Tim Donst, and Rachel Summerlyn. Then, to top it off, I'll take Chris Masters and Paul London as the former WWE guys. I'm not gonna fantasy book the entire thing, but ACH over London in the final would be fantastic if you asked me.
@soggyhydrox wants me to give my thoughts on Bo Dallas.
I honestly haven't seen enough of him to form a real live opinion, but I almost feel sorry for the guy given the backlash he receives. Like, can a person really be that bad to make him universally reviled in the magnitude that Dallas is? I mean, the handful of times I've seen him, he's been inoffensive. Maybe that's the problem. If you're going to be promoted as the face of a brand, even one as low-key as WWE's developmental promotion, you should be more than inoffensive? Last week, it was posited to me that Dallas, through being pushed and pushed as this quintessential babyface hero, is being positioned as the next Rocky Maivia, a clean cut good guy so bland that the fans will have no choice but to turn on him. He'd have to have a whole other gear to shift to in order to make the heel turn work, but hey, I guess it's a solid theory at the very least.
@DethlikeSilence asks whom I think is going to win BOLA this year.
Well, it would be nice to get an entire field before making that prognostication. We have ACH, Trent?, Davey Richards, and Tony Nese so far. I'd assume since it is a two-day thing that we're going to get a field of at least 16 wrestlers. As for who might win? It depends on who walks out of TEN as the Champion. If Adam Cole retains or in the unlikely event that Kevin Steen wins, I'd have to think Drake Younger is the heavy favorite to win the tournament. It feels like he's on a collision course with the PWG World Championship. If he does win at TEN, I doubt that he'll get the rub of the tournament right after. Hell, I doubt he'll even be in the tournament if he's the Champ. I could be wrong though. If Younger is Champion, I'd expect Brian Cage to win. But fuck me, I thought Willie Mack was going to win last year. I'm never right about these things.
Poor android @robot_hammer wants me to reassure him that Chikara is going to be back, right? RIGHT?
Of course it's going to be back. This is all a big story, right? RIGHT? I think the question isn't "if" but "when." They would not have built this elaborate backstory with the Titor Conglomerate and Derek Sabato as a fact-finder if they didn't have an answer to Wink Vavasseur tearing the whole consarn thing down now, would they? Everything within the company's narrative moves so deliberately though. As for when? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but with the news that the WWN Live promotions will not be a part of WrestleCon next year surfacing, it could be as soon as, well, WrestleCon. Of course, those WWN Live promotions actually don't do great business and are puffed up by the media, both dirt sheet and blog, overrating their importance because of who is booking, whom they book, and what connected Japanese promotions they're affiliated with. I've been guilty of this myself, so this isn't casting stones from a glass house. But yeah, we will get our Chikara back. Of that, I'm sure. At least I think I'm sure. Am I sure? I think I need someone to hold me...
@JohnJohnPhenom asks my thoughts on the Chikara tribute match that Dragon Gate USA has booked for their Manhattan show.
Let's get this out of the way first. I think the whole sentimental vibe they're putting out is bullshit. You guys had a relationship with Chikara in your early days? That's wonderful that you had a business decision going, but after the first Chikarasaurus Rex event, that relationship was nowhere to be seen. Curious, don't you think? It could be me showing my biases here, but man, hearkening back to an eight-man tag match in front of a crowd that you openly disdain is not really something that shows me you care whether Chikara operates or is dormant.
That being said, I understand why they're operating under that guise, and overall, I'm happy that Chikara dudes are getting work. It doesn't matter how fake the sentiment is; if Amasis, Ophidian, the Batiri, the Colony, and other Chikara masks can actually procure bookings without having to show their faces, that means the company has been successful in breaking down barriers and allowing some color into companies where everyone on the roster is First-name Surname. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, it'll probably be the best match on the card.
A1 Podcast emcee Norko Kipte has a two-parter. First, he asks my opinion on Dwight Howard.
First thing's first, everyone who hated on LeBron James for how he conducted his free agency dalliance, myself included, has to feel stupid for bashing him in light of how Howard has conducted himself. I will eat my crow now. It bears noting that Howard left money on the table to go chase a Championship, which is what many a fan proclaims they stand for in their athletes. However, Howard did so by scorching all the earth around him. I don't feel sorry for the owners he made deal with him, but it wasn't just them. He played mind games with his coaches, the fans, and especially his teammates. Like, it takes a lot for me to feel bad for Kobe Bryant, but I actually feel bad for Kobe Bryant in all this. Think about that. A living, breathing, human being made me feel bad for Kobe Bean Bryant. Just let that sink in for a little bit.
Second, he wants to know what my favorite cut of french fry is.
Hands down, it's the crinkle cut. I don't know what it is about the crinkle that makes it so delicious, but I feel like anytime I get my hands on crinkle-cut fries, they automatically taste at least 50% better. After that, it's probably steak fries, because they usually have the best crisp surface-to-pillowy innard ratio going for them. Also, they sop up the most dipping sauce per dip.
@JSanudo asks what the best indie wrestling venue to watch a show is.
I can't comment on any venue that I've never been to. I'd love to wax poetically about the American Legion in Reseda or the Berwyn Eagles Club, but my experience has been limited to the following: The ECW Arena (Philadelphia), the Palmer Funplex (Easton, PA), the Goodwill Fire Association (Reading, PA), the Flyers Skate Zone (Vorhees, NJ), the Greater Newark Boys and Girls Club (Newark, DE), the Trocadero (Philadelphia), and the Philadelphia National Guard Armory. Of those, I'd choose the Funplex by a hair over the Arena. Even though the room has a higher ceiling and bigger floor than most venues comparable, it has a certain intimacy. I like that it falls under the radar enough that there's no guardrail necessary, and that unlike the Arena, it feels bright and clean. I've stated before that it's Chikara's signature arena for that reason. Of those venues, I'd undoubtedly say that the Funplex, the Arena, the Skate Zone, and the Armory are all good to great places to watch a show. The Troc and the Boys/Girls Club are godawful, and the Fire Hall is just okay. Call the Fire Hall a "replacement-level arena."
Fellow staffer Shane Carnes asks with so many wrestlers having guaranteed contracts whether a new promotion can rise up and REALLY compete with WWE like WCW did.
Honestly, in a bizarro universe, TNA could have risen up to compete with WWE, except the people handling the money decided they wanted to hire people who wanted to recreate WCW and then later, WWE, rather than make their own stamp in the wrestling world. That's what's needed, a forward-thinking promoter who has stories to tell that aren't blatantly biting off the past. Obviously, reinventing the wheel isn't always going to net the kind of momentum needed, but if there was a promotion on Spike TV that had its own identity rather than a WCW mask on, maybe it'd have something going for it rather than running, annoying jokes about which Disney, Jr. program beat it in the ratings.
@aknednyt wants me to reassure him that the Blue Jays are indeed going to turn things around.
For my own sake, I hope they can right the ship completely. I mean, I picked them to win the World Series. For once, I'd like my preseason predictions to come true. There was a point when they won double-digits in a row, but they're 4-6 in their last 10. To be honest, life has gotten so hectic for me that the only baseball I can keep up with is the pathetic excuse for the game being played by my hometown Phillies. Well, that and the furious and prodigious game being played by Yasiel Puig down in Los Angeles.
Anyway, the Jays have the curse of playing in an American League East where not only are the Red Sox, Yankees, and Rays all playing competitive ball, but the Orioles are proving last year wasn't much of a fluke. Their best hope is that the Os and Yanks both regress to the mean (it's to my knowledge that the Yanks are somehow playing way over their heads with all the injuries and sub players coming in and performing out of their minds) and that the Rays somehow hit a streak of bad luck while they rebound. Even then, that might only be good enough to get them in the wild card play-in game against Texas. Then again, stranger things have happened.
@mikepankowski wants to know whether Dwight Howard would be the worst wrestling face or worst wrestling heel.
According to us, he'd be the worst face and the best heel. Seriously, he flip-flops, badmouths everyone, and generally stabs folks in the back? Let me boo the shit out of this guy! Unfortunately, his character might get him raucous cheers in WWE, because I don't think he's a bigger scoundrel than Sheamus is at this point.
@JohnJohnPhenom is back with a second question, asking who the Flyers new philosopher-king will be now that Ilya Bryzgalov has blasted off back into orbit.
Before I answer John's question here, I wanna get up on my soapbox. Ilya Bryzgalov was not a bad goalie in his two years in Philadelphia. He had a decent save percentage, and he downright stole some games for us. Unfortunately for him, they were in the regular season and not in the playoffs, or else he might have been remembered differently. However, you need to be otherworldly in order to consistently look good in front of a Swiss cheese defense. The Flyers front office philosophy has always been ACQUIRING ALL THE FORWARDS and cobbling defense out of spare parts from other teams and raw rookies who may or may not know what backchecking is. They made one shining deal in trading for Chris Pronger, but he went and got himself concussed out of the NHL. That's why you build an entire blue line instead of relying one dude. But I digress.
Anyway, with Bryz out of town now, I don't know if the Flyers will have anyone to match his propensity for esoteric soundbites. Maybe Scott Hartnell has it in him? He has the look down for the role down as Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player, so all he needs to do is brush up on his Phil Hartman-as-Paleolithic Era humanoid impression and start giving quotes under that guise.
@Facough_ wants to know where I rank Undertaker all-time and how many years I think he has left in him.
As for where he ranks all-time, I'd say Undertaker's a solid tier-two guy. He's never been asked to carry an entire promotion on his back, as he's either had Bret Hart, Steve Austin, Triple H, or John Cena to back him up, but he's had some longevity. Almost his entire WWF/E tenure has been in the main event. He also has one of the most memorable wrestling tropes ever in the WrestleMania Streak.
As for how much he has left? Well, I would certainly have thought that Taker would bow out at WrestleMania XXX, but man, he looked damn good at Mania this year as well as in the six-man tag on that English Smackdown. I think he could very well go for another five years if he works a limited schedule. With that in mind, he could not only wrestle Sting at Mania like so many people not named TH want him to do, but he could also work Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Daniel Bryan, and even Kane one more time, all of which I would wholeheartedly approve of.
Phillies Nation scribe Ian Riccaboni asks why I thought One Man Gang's original WWF tenure didn't go as well as planned.
That was just a little bit before my time, but my guess is that he just wasn't into the One Man Gang character cuz he knew he'd have to become Akeem the African Dream.
@AeonsTorn asks where he should go to get his tag fix now that Chikara is kaput.
As good as Chikara's tag team wrestling scene has been, it hasn't been the be-all, end-all of tag wrestling. While they've been the only promotion who has consistently done trios and atomicos matches, PWG has consistently had the best pure two-on-two tag action around. Their Tag Team Championships are treated with the same respect as the World Championship, and DDT4 is a safe bet to be one of the best shows of the year.
@HummerX asks where the "Davey Richards starts the Davey-Richards-to-WWE-rumor" ranks all-time.
The best was when he announced that he wouldn't be returning to St. Louis Anarchy because he was headed to "Connecticut to prove he was the best in the world," and then he was right there at the next SLA show. We've got to the point where Richards has delved into the realm of extreme self-parody. I wonder if he knows that no one can trust a word out of his mouth, so he just makes ridiculous claims in order to get rises out of people. I'll actually respect him if the next claim he makes is that he's running for President.
@GayWrestlingFan wants to know if the reason why WWE has all these trios now is because Triple H saw a King of Trios DVD laying around at Sean Waltman's house.
If that's the case, I wanna know why all WWE's trios are rudos. When are we gonna get to the tecnicos?
In all seriousness, I wouldn't be surprised if Waltman has given Trips a heads up on Chikara. In most forms of art, innovation seeps upward. It doesn't trickle down. Expecting WWE to break new ground ahead of the more artistically forward independent promotions is like expecting the Mississippi to start feeding its tributaries. WWE, and to a lesser extent, TNA, are less bastions of creativity and more idea agglomerators.
@PatrickEhland asks how many kittens' souls does Angelo Cataldi feed on to keep himself so angsty and ornery.
For those who don't know, Cataldi is the morning show host for 610 AM WIP sports talk radio in Philadelphia. He's got a nasal voice, and he's never happy unless he's complaining. He recently had a meltdown for the Sixers hiring Sam Hinkie as general manager, citing that the "fans" didn't want a "stats dork" as GM. But anyway, I don't think he feeds on just kittens' souls. He's got corgi puppies, wombats, red pandas, babies, orphans, orphan babies, and even the pure, unadulterated magic of wood nymphs. The man is the avatar of misery. I don't know why anyone voluntarily listens to him.
@EdieFranknstien wants me to talk about the things I think are good in TNA.
I stopped watching TNA altogether about a month ago, partially because of the Austin Aries/Christy Hemme incident and because the Carter family let a contracted talent of theirs go to Kickstarter to pay for medical bills instead of doing the right thing and, y'know, paying for it. But it was easy to put that company down because I found myself not enjoying Impact at all while watching it. It's why I hired someone to write about the show. People out there like it, so why should I continue to watch it if I didn't?
But I will say that I'm kinda happy that they're letting Chris Sabin get a shot at the TNA World Championship. And I guess the Mickie James heel turn has been cool. But I'm not going to pretend that there are good things about a company when I bailed on them partially because I wasn't enjoying a damn thing about them while watching it.
I'd certainly hope that if WWE took them out for a seafood dinner that they wouldn't neglect to call them the next day. Can you tell I'm already geeked out for Anchorman 2?
In all seriousness, I have no idea where the endgame is. The first and only time they tried a character in the same oeuvre of Max Cady from Cape Fear was the before-his-time Waylon Mercy. A character based off such a theatrically-gritty incarnation was too real for the gaudily-colored and occupationally-gimmicked WWF at the time. Now that the atmosphere, writing team, and fanbase has changed, maybe the Wyatts will fare a little better? I don't know. I'm hopeful, because the vignettes are awesome and they have such a massive buzz from FCW/NXT surrounding them, but I really don't know. It's also pretty weird that the only trios in WWE are heel trios, which makes their feuding options interesting to say the least. I would love to see them on a collision with The Shield, but would that be too much to ask for WWE Creative? The theme of this answer? I DON'T KNOW.
@OkoriWadsworth also has a two-parter this round. First, he wants to know whom I think has the best gear in wrestling right now.
I don't know who has the best overall gear, because it's hard to really critique most people when they wear some variation of trunks, pads, and boots. Overall, I guess my favorite would have to be the Estonian Thunder Frog, because he's a gosh darn Thunder Frog. I will say this though; my favorite single piece of gear is probably AJ Lee's knee-high Converse Chuck Taylor boots. Those boots fit her character so well, and they're just neat looking.
Next, he wants my dream Battle of Los Angeles field.
Well, let's set some parameters first. We'll do a sixteen-wrestler, two day, single elimination tournament. "Dream" implies that I should have no parameters on who would be in it, but I will keep it confined to wrestlers who aren't signed to either WWE or TNA right now. So, here we go. First up, Willie Mack, Brian Cage, and Joey Ryan would represent So Cal. Kevin Steen, Chuck Taylor, Roderick Strong, Adam Cole, Ricochet, and Rich Swann would be the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla non-So Cal regulars I'd include. As for first-timers, give me ACH, Kyle Matthews, Jessicka Havok, Tim Donst, and Rachel Summerlyn. Then, to top it off, I'll take Chris Masters and Paul London as the former WWE guys. I'm not gonna fantasy book the entire thing, but ACH over London in the final would be fantastic if you asked me.
@soggyhydrox wants me to give my thoughts on Bo Dallas.
I honestly haven't seen enough of him to form a real live opinion, but I almost feel sorry for the guy given the backlash he receives. Like, can a person really be that bad to make him universally reviled in the magnitude that Dallas is? I mean, the handful of times I've seen him, he's been inoffensive. Maybe that's the problem. If you're going to be promoted as the face of a brand, even one as low-key as WWE's developmental promotion, you should be more than inoffensive? Last week, it was posited to me that Dallas, through being pushed and pushed as this quintessential babyface hero, is being positioned as the next Rocky Maivia, a clean cut good guy so bland that the fans will have no choice but to turn on him. He'd have to have a whole other gear to shift to in order to make the heel turn work, but hey, I guess it's a solid theory at the very least.
@DethlikeSilence asks whom I think is going to win BOLA this year.
Well, it would be nice to get an entire field before making that prognostication. We have ACH, Trent?, Davey Richards, and Tony Nese so far. I'd assume since it is a two-day thing that we're going to get a field of at least 16 wrestlers. As for who might win? It depends on who walks out of TEN as the Champion. If Adam Cole retains or in the unlikely event that Kevin Steen wins, I'd have to think Drake Younger is the heavy favorite to win the tournament. It feels like he's on a collision course with the PWG World Championship. If he does win at TEN, I doubt that he'll get the rub of the tournament right after. Hell, I doubt he'll even be in the tournament if he's the Champ. I could be wrong though. If Younger is Champion, I'd expect Brian Cage to win. But fuck me, I thought Willie Mack was going to win last year. I'm never right about these things.
Poor android @robot_hammer wants me to reassure him that Chikara is going to be back, right? RIGHT?
Of course it's going to be back. This is all a big story, right? RIGHT? I think the question isn't "if" but "when." They would not have built this elaborate backstory with the Titor Conglomerate and Derek Sabato as a fact-finder if they didn't have an answer to Wink Vavasseur tearing the whole consarn thing down now, would they? Everything within the company's narrative moves so deliberately though. As for when? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but with the news that the WWN Live promotions will not be a part of WrestleCon next year surfacing, it could be as soon as, well, WrestleCon. Of course, those WWN Live promotions actually don't do great business and are puffed up by the media, both dirt sheet and blog, overrating their importance because of who is booking, whom they book, and what connected Japanese promotions they're affiliated with. I've been guilty of this myself, so this isn't casting stones from a glass house. But yeah, we will get our Chikara back. Of that, I'm sure. At least I think I'm sure. Am I sure? I think I need someone to hold me...
@JohnJohnPhenom asks my thoughts on the Chikara tribute match that Dragon Gate USA has booked for their Manhattan show.
Let's get this out of the way first. I think the whole sentimental vibe they're putting out is bullshit. You guys had a relationship with Chikara in your early days? That's wonderful that you had a business decision going, but after the first Chikarasaurus Rex event, that relationship was nowhere to be seen. Curious, don't you think? It could be me showing my biases here, but man, hearkening back to an eight-man tag match in front of a crowd that you openly disdain is not really something that shows me you care whether Chikara operates or is dormant.
That being said, I understand why they're operating under that guise, and overall, I'm happy that Chikara dudes are getting work. It doesn't matter how fake the sentiment is; if Amasis, Ophidian, the Batiri, the Colony, and other Chikara masks can actually procure bookings without having to show their faces, that means the company has been successful in breaking down barriers and allowing some color into companies where everyone on the roster is First-name Surname. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, it'll probably be the best match on the card.
A1 Podcast emcee Norko Kipte has a two-parter. First, he asks my opinion on Dwight Howard.
First thing's first, everyone who hated on LeBron James for how he conducted his free agency dalliance, myself included, has to feel stupid for bashing him in light of how Howard has conducted himself. I will eat my crow now. It bears noting that Howard left money on the table to go chase a Championship, which is what many a fan proclaims they stand for in their athletes. However, Howard did so by scorching all the earth around him. I don't feel sorry for the owners he made deal with him, but it wasn't just them. He played mind games with his coaches, the fans, and especially his teammates. Like, it takes a lot for me to feel bad for Kobe Bryant, but I actually feel bad for Kobe Bryant in all this. Think about that. A living, breathing, human being made me feel bad for Kobe Bean Bryant. Just let that sink in for a little bit.
Second, he wants to know what my favorite cut of french fry is.
Hands down, it's the crinkle cut. I don't know what it is about the crinkle that makes it so delicious, but I feel like anytime I get my hands on crinkle-cut fries, they automatically taste at least 50% better. After that, it's probably steak fries, because they usually have the best crisp surface-to-pillowy innard ratio going for them. Also, they sop up the most dipping sauce per dip.
@JSanudo asks what the best indie wrestling venue to watch a show is.
I can't comment on any venue that I've never been to. I'd love to wax poetically about the American Legion in Reseda or the Berwyn Eagles Club, but my experience has been limited to the following: The ECW Arena (Philadelphia), the Palmer Funplex (Easton, PA), the Goodwill Fire Association (Reading, PA), the Flyers Skate Zone (Vorhees, NJ), the Greater Newark Boys and Girls Club (Newark, DE), the Trocadero (Philadelphia), and the Philadelphia National Guard Armory. Of those, I'd choose the Funplex by a hair over the Arena. Even though the room has a higher ceiling and bigger floor than most venues comparable, it has a certain intimacy. I like that it falls under the radar enough that there's no guardrail necessary, and that unlike the Arena, it feels bright and clean. I've stated before that it's Chikara's signature arena for that reason. Of those venues, I'd undoubtedly say that the Funplex, the Arena, the Skate Zone, and the Armory are all good to great places to watch a show. The Troc and the Boys/Girls Club are godawful, and the Fire Hall is just okay. Call the Fire Hall a "replacement-level arena."
Fellow staffer Shane Carnes asks with so many wrestlers having guaranteed contracts whether a new promotion can rise up and REALLY compete with WWE like WCW did.
Honestly, in a bizarro universe, TNA could have risen up to compete with WWE, except the people handling the money decided they wanted to hire people who wanted to recreate WCW and then later, WWE, rather than make their own stamp in the wrestling world. That's what's needed, a forward-thinking promoter who has stories to tell that aren't blatantly biting off the past. Obviously, reinventing the wheel isn't always going to net the kind of momentum needed, but if there was a promotion on Spike TV that had its own identity rather than a WCW mask on, maybe it'd have something going for it rather than running, annoying jokes about which Disney, Jr. program beat it in the ratings.
@aknednyt wants me to reassure him that the Blue Jays are indeed going to turn things around.
For my own sake, I hope they can right the ship completely. I mean, I picked them to win the World Series. For once, I'd like my preseason predictions to come true. There was a point when they won double-digits in a row, but they're 4-6 in their last 10. To be honest, life has gotten so hectic for me that the only baseball I can keep up with is the pathetic excuse for the game being played by my hometown Phillies. Well, that and the furious and prodigious game being played by Yasiel Puig down in Los Angeles.
Anyway, the Jays have the curse of playing in an American League East where not only are the Red Sox, Yankees, and Rays all playing competitive ball, but the Orioles are proving last year wasn't much of a fluke. Their best hope is that the Os and Yanks both regress to the mean (it's to my knowledge that the Yanks are somehow playing way over their heads with all the injuries and sub players coming in and performing out of their minds) and that the Rays somehow hit a streak of bad luck while they rebound. Even then, that might only be good enough to get them in the wild card play-in game against Texas. Then again, stranger things have happened.
@mikepankowski wants to know whether Dwight Howard would be the worst wrestling face or worst wrestling heel.
According to us, he'd be the worst face and the best heel. Seriously, he flip-flops, badmouths everyone, and generally stabs folks in the back? Let me boo the shit out of this guy! Unfortunately, his character might get him raucous cheers in WWE, because I don't think he's a bigger scoundrel than Sheamus is at this point.
@JohnJohnPhenom is back with a second question, asking who the Flyers new philosopher-king will be now that Ilya Bryzgalov has blasted off back into orbit.
Before I answer John's question here, I wanna get up on my soapbox. Ilya Bryzgalov was not a bad goalie in his two years in Philadelphia. He had a decent save percentage, and he downright stole some games for us. Unfortunately for him, they were in the regular season and not in the playoffs, or else he might have been remembered differently. However, you need to be otherworldly in order to consistently look good in front of a Swiss cheese defense. The Flyers front office philosophy has always been ACQUIRING ALL THE FORWARDS and cobbling defense out of spare parts from other teams and raw rookies who may or may not know what backchecking is. They made one shining deal in trading for Chris Pronger, but he went and got himself concussed out of the NHL. That's why you build an entire blue line instead of relying one dude. But I digress.
Anyway, with Bryz out of town now, I don't know if the Flyers will have anyone to match his propensity for esoteric soundbites. Maybe Scott Hartnell has it in him? He has the look down for the role down as Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player, so all he needs to do is brush up on his Phil Hartman-as-Paleolithic Era humanoid impression and start giving quotes under that guise.
@Facough_ wants to know where I rank Undertaker all-time and how many years I think he has left in him.
As for where he ranks all-time, I'd say Undertaker's a solid tier-two guy. He's never been asked to carry an entire promotion on his back, as he's either had Bret Hart, Steve Austin, Triple H, or John Cena to back him up, but he's had some longevity. Almost his entire WWF/E tenure has been in the main event. He also has one of the most memorable wrestling tropes ever in the WrestleMania Streak.
As for how much he has left? Well, I would certainly have thought that Taker would bow out at WrestleMania XXX, but man, he looked damn good at Mania this year as well as in the six-man tag on that English Smackdown. I think he could very well go for another five years if he works a limited schedule. With that in mind, he could not only wrestle Sting at Mania like so many people not named TH want him to do, but he could also work Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Daniel Bryan, and even Kane one more time, all of which I would wholeheartedly approve of.
Phillies Nation scribe Ian Riccaboni asks why I thought One Man Gang's original WWF tenure didn't go as well as planned.
That was just a little bit before my time, but my guess is that he just wasn't into the One Man Gang character cuz he knew he'd have to become Akeem the African Dream.
@AeonsTorn asks where he should go to get his tag fix now that Chikara is kaput.
As good as Chikara's tag team wrestling scene has been, it hasn't been the be-all, end-all of tag wrestling. While they've been the only promotion who has consistently done trios and atomicos matches, PWG has consistently had the best pure two-on-two tag action around. Their Tag Team Championships are treated with the same respect as the World Championship, and DDT4 is a safe bet to be one of the best shows of the year.
@HummerX asks where the "Davey Richards starts the Davey-Richards-to-WWE-rumor" ranks all-time.
The best was when he announced that he wouldn't be returning to St. Louis Anarchy because he was headed to "Connecticut to prove he was the best in the world," and then he was right there at the next SLA show. We've got to the point where Richards has delved into the realm of extreme self-parody. I wonder if he knows that no one can trust a word out of his mouth, so he just makes ridiculous claims in order to get rises out of people. I'll actually respect him if the next claim he makes is that he's running for President.
@GayWrestlingFan wants to know if the reason why WWE has all these trios now is because Triple H saw a King of Trios DVD laying around at Sean Waltman's house.
If that's the case, I wanna know why all WWE's trios are rudos. When are we gonna get to the tecnicos?
In all seriousness, I wouldn't be surprised if Waltman has given Trips a heads up on Chikara. In most forms of art, innovation seeps upward. It doesn't trickle down. Expecting WWE to break new ground ahead of the more artistically forward independent promotions is like expecting the Mississippi to start feeding its tributaries. WWE, and to a lesser extent, TNA, are less bastions of creativity and more idea agglomerators.
@PatrickEhland asks how many kittens' souls does Angelo Cataldi feed on to keep himself so angsty and ornery.
For those who don't know, Cataldi is the morning show host for 610 AM WIP sports talk radio in Philadelphia. He's got a nasal voice, and he's never happy unless he's complaining. He recently had a meltdown for the Sixers hiring Sam Hinkie as general manager, citing that the "fans" didn't want a "stats dork" as GM. But anyway, I don't think he feeds on just kittens' souls. He's got corgi puppies, wombats, red pandas, babies, orphans, orphan babies, and even the pure, unadulterated magic of wood nymphs. The man is the avatar of misery. I don't know why anyone voluntarily listens to him.
@EdieFranknstien wants me to talk about the things I think are good in TNA.
I stopped watching TNA altogether about a month ago, partially because of the Austin Aries/Christy Hemme incident and because the Carter family let a contracted talent of theirs go to Kickstarter to pay for medical bills instead of doing the right thing and, y'know, paying for it. But it was easy to put that company down because I found myself not enjoying Impact at all while watching it. It's why I hired someone to write about the show. People out there like it, so why should I continue to watch it if I didn't?
But I will say that I'm kinda happy that they're letting Chris Sabin get a shot at the TNA World Championship. And I guess the Mickie James heel turn has been cool. But I'm not going to pretend that there are good things about a company when I bailed on them partially because I wasn't enjoying a damn thing about them while watching it.