The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 25th

THAT BEARD HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - Sure, there's no apparent reason why Bryan is back on top of the rankings this week. There was a rumor that there's a clause in his contract that he can't be out of the #1 spot for more than two consecutive weeks, but that's balderdash. The real reason is that his beard has threatened me with bodily harm.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 1) - I just found out that the 2CW iPPV on April 20th will be free, which means, uh, you'd better have a good reason not to watch Summerlyn do her thang.

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 2) - Great Khali got some of his stink on Henry. Otherwise, he might still be #1.

4. Jojo Bravo (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Obligatory birthday ranking for the HEAVIEST SUMO IN THE LAND.

5. Neil DeGrasse Tyson (Last Week: 8) - He proved he's not just here to crack wise, but that he's also working on real plans to keep big-ass asteroids from ending humanity. That's real talk.

6. Greek Yogurt (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - It's definitely better than the namby-pamby regular yogurt. Thick, tangy, and hell, you can use it as a substitute for sour cream or gross-fucking mayonnaise in recipes as a light alternative.

7. Jennifer Lawrence (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I am not giving her a spot on this week's list just because she won an Oscar for playing a resident of my current home county. I'm giving it to her because, frig, why not?

8. Russell Westbrook (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The age old question, whether he's a dog or a cat, has been answered. Of course Westbrook self-identified as a wolf, which is a kind of dog. THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS.

9. LuFisto (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She may have lost in her SHINE debut, but she knocked the socks clean off the feet of everyone who watched her. And to the assholes who told her that she's "too ugly for wrestling," gladly choke on my son's shitty diapers.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: del Rey figured out a way to brew the perfect cup of coffee using magnetism and Courtney Rush's theme song.