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| Could this face be villainous? IN 2004, it was! Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein |
Hey y'all! For the next four weeks, this column will be devoted to special coverage of the biggest party of the summer, as I think about what struck me in past SummerSlam events. It will probably just be me covering the openers, because those seem to strike me hardest and I'm frankly trying to avoid a Diesel/Mabel match like the plague. For more detailed coverage, I'd recommend Wrestlespective's Summerslam main event series. I was even on two of those episodes! Yay!
Let's get this out of the way. I mainly watched this out of ease to find it, but I also watched it to prove a silly point, namely that Randy Orton with a briefcase for a guaranteed title shot is the most boring thing that I can imagine. This is not the historical analysis I want to attempt to bring in these columns. This is more of a realization that I live in a world where things tend to stay the same. Randy Orton and John Cena had a confrontation on this show. Because of course they did. It's 2004 and it's 2013 all in the same sense.
That said, I actually felt relaxed that I wasn't as uncomfortable with the 2013 product by comparison. I didn't feel nearly as gross watching Money in the Bank on Sunday, for example. I assume we will not be seeing any "Til Death Do Us Part" matches in which probable rapists marry the person that they presumably raped in WWE 2013, and goddess bless the PG era for that. Although I'm unsure if Stephanie McMahon dressing down women on live TV for their anti-feminist behavior is really any better than Diva Dodgeball.
So let's get to a clear point here. The one person that I truly loved in this whole show was not Kurt Angle or Eddie Guerrero. Of course, it was Spike Dudley. Spike was re-brought to my attention when I noticed how much fellow site contributor and all-around badass Danielle loves Spike. I figured out why immediately. He had a cute arc with Molly Holly, a commitment to taking dangerous bumps, and if you remember your Beyond The Mat, his scene where he recites Shakespeare in a pool of blood is one of the great images in that movie.
But even better than Spike Dudley is a Spike Dudley playing a cocky heel. He was involved in a 2004 six-man tag match that SHOULD happen in a King of Trios tournament (Chikara's continued existence pending), but happened on this show instead. It was he and his "brothers" vs. Paul London, Billy Kidman, and Rey Mysterio. Now, two of those elements are in WWE's system currently, but I don't think developmental will miss Billy Kidman for a day. Plus, we'd get a fun six-man where Spike essentially claims to be the boss of the heel Dudleys. It's kind of glorious to watch as the Dudleys give a 3D to Kidman (I think) and Spike tags in just to pin him.
In that one move alone, I liked Spike's cowardly arrogance more than Curtis Axel (who I always have thought should be smaller, or interesting, to pull off his schtick) and probably as much as I have any heel before The Brian Kendrick. It was here that I learned that I really like the cruiserweight level talents being cowardly assholes. It's a trope that dates back in WWE to Shawn Michaels, but it's one that always makes me happy. The motivation is easy, after all. It's how they dodge their limitations and stop the system.
In close, give me Spike Dudley. Don't give me Randy Orton. I'm really not a hard fan to please, am I?
Let's get this out of the way. I mainly watched this out of ease to find it, but I also watched it to prove a silly point, namely that Randy Orton with a briefcase for a guaranteed title shot is the most boring thing that I can imagine. This is not the historical analysis I want to attempt to bring in these columns. This is more of a realization that I live in a world where things tend to stay the same. Randy Orton and John Cena had a confrontation on this show. Because of course they did. It's 2004 and it's 2013 all in the same sense.
That said, I actually felt relaxed that I wasn't as uncomfortable with the 2013 product by comparison. I didn't feel nearly as gross watching Money in the Bank on Sunday, for example. I assume we will not be seeing any "Til Death Do Us Part" matches in which probable rapists marry the person that they presumably raped in WWE 2013, and goddess bless the PG era for that. Although I'm unsure if Stephanie McMahon dressing down women on live TV for their anti-feminist behavior is really any better than Diva Dodgeball.
So let's get to a clear point here. The one person that I truly loved in this whole show was not Kurt Angle or Eddie Guerrero. Of course, it was Spike Dudley. Spike was re-brought to my attention when I noticed how much fellow site contributor and all-around badass Danielle loves Spike. I figured out why immediately. He had a cute arc with Molly Holly, a commitment to taking dangerous bumps, and if you remember your Beyond The Mat, his scene where he recites Shakespeare in a pool of blood is one of the great images in that movie.
But even better than Spike Dudley is a Spike Dudley playing a cocky heel. He was involved in a 2004 six-man tag match that SHOULD happen in a King of Trios tournament (Chikara's continued existence pending), but happened on this show instead. It was he and his "brothers" vs. Paul London, Billy Kidman, and Rey Mysterio. Now, two of those elements are in WWE's system currently, but I don't think developmental will miss Billy Kidman for a day. Plus, we'd get a fun six-man where Spike essentially claims to be the boss of the heel Dudleys. It's kind of glorious to watch as the Dudleys give a 3D to Kidman (I think) and Spike tags in just to pin him.
In that one move alone, I liked Spike's cowardly arrogance more than Curtis Axel (who I always have thought should be smaller, or interesting, to pull off his schtick) and probably as much as I have any heel before The Brian Kendrick. It was here that I learned that I really like the cruiserweight level talents being cowardly assholes. It's a trope that dates back in WWE to Shawn Michaels, but it's one that always makes me happy. The motivation is easy, after all. It's how they dodge their limitations and stop the system.
In close, give me Spike Dudley. Don't give me Randy Orton. I'm really not a hard fan to please, am I?