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| Pictured: the new element Ie at work Photo Credit: WWE.com |
That come as a surprise to you? I know there's not a big intersection between wrestling and science sometimes, but on the road to WrestleMania WWE is powered by it.
And the it? Call it inevitabilitum.
For example, when you're not 48 hours removed from an instant classic match and this is the C show, of course you're going to get a meaty replay of the events that transpired. Need to twig fans that another Big Giant Super Mega Important Rematch is going to happen imminently and is worth $70 because it has those guys you remember watching destroy people out to destroy each other? Give that a replay, too!
Inevitabilitum!
Justin Gabriel's fate of getting thrown around the ring like the word socialist at the Swagger family reunion this year the moment Three 6 Mafia informed the fans that somebody gon' get they ass kicked and somebody gonna get they wig split?
Inevitabilitum!
And the buzz word for Kaitlyn being quirky? The Divas champion being shunted into a role where she's telling Cody Rhodes despite another loss to Sheamus that "The moustache doesn't give up." and gets more screen time doing that sort of thing backstage rather than spearing fools? The King (on Miz duty tonight) automatically jumping to the middle of the story where Kaitlyn turns Cody or Cody turns Kaitlyn because of TEH SECKS despite the fact they just bump into each other backstage and get good and awkward around each other right now? Sheamus taking Cody's challenge because he's being challenged for disrespecting the 'stache, never mind the fact he just Brogue Kicked Cody's face in a few short weeks ago and will do so again in moments on this very program?
Kiddies, at this point, it's as Inevitabilitum as Rhodes' hometown being relocated to Williamsburg and his entrance music changed to M83's "Midnight City." (Or whatever that insipid Mumford and Sons song is called.)
Every big-budget success usually gets a sequel, and it's usually inferior. That seems to be the way the road to WrestleMania is paved for the grumpy old lifers like myself, the boss, Señor Borsuk and others. And does it matter? To paraphrase a grumpy prophet from years begone, Vince McMahon is gonna cash in nine figures in a week despite himself. Of course, that grumpy prophet is watching his prize being passed between the past and the present while he wonders if the future's ever going to come for him in the second place and if it involves him being #21 in the first.
There was no Ziggler/Del Rio hidden gem, no awesome Titus mic work, no Cesaro kicking Miz in his fat mouth.
Instead, it was an hour run on and powered by Inevitabilitum.
Our loss.
And the it? Call it inevitabilitum.
For example, when you're not 48 hours removed from an instant classic match and this is the C show, of course you're going to get a meaty replay of the events that transpired. Need to twig fans that another Big Giant Super Mega Important Rematch is going to happen imminently and is worth $70 because it has those guys you remember watching destroy people out to destroy each other? Give that a replay, too!
Inevitabilitum!
Justin Gabriel's fate of getting thrown around the ring like the word socialist at the Swagger family reunion this year the moment Three 6 Mafia informed the fans that somebody gon' get they ass kicked and somebody gonna get they wig split?
Inevitabilitum!
And the buzz word for Kaitlyn being quirky? The Divas champion being shunted into a role where she's telling Cody Rhodes despite another loss to Sheamus that "The moustache doesn't give up." and gets more screen time doing that sort of thing backstage rather than spearing fools? The King (on Miz duty tonight) automatically jumping to the middle of the story where Kaitlyn turns Cody or Cody turns Kaitlyn because of TEH SECKS despite the fact they just bump into each other backstage and get good and awkward around each other right now? Sheamus taking Cody's challenge because he's being challenged for disrespecting the 'stache, never mind the fact he just Brogue Kicked Cody's face in a few short weeks ago and will do so again in moments on this very program?
Kiddies, at this point, it's as Inevitabilitum as Rhodes' hometown being relocated to Williamsburg and his entrance music changed to M83's "Midnight City." (Or whatever that insipid Mumford and Sons song is called.)
Every big-budget success usually gets a sequel, and it's usually inferior. That seems to be the way the road to WrestleMania is paved for the grumpy old lifers like myself, the boss, Señor Borsuk and others. And does it matter? To paraphrase a grumpy prophet from years begone, Vince McMahon is gonna cash in nine figures in a week despite himself. Of course, that grumpy prophet is watching his prize being passed between the past and the present while he wonders if the future's ever going to come for him in the second place and if it involves him being #21 in the first.
There was no Ziggler/Del Rio hidden gem, no awesome Titus mic work, no Cesaro kicking Miz in his fat mouth.
Instead, it was an hour run on and powered by Inevitabilitum.
Our loss.