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| Imperfect, but better than usual Photo Credit: WWE.com |
It's not easy being Curtis Axel.
You live in the shadow of your father, and will forever. You drop more non-title matches than Kendrick Lamar drops bars. When you're on offense, the crowd is so riveted they chant invective at your manager (even if he is on the Mt. Rushmore of managerial work, still!). In the nouveau Dangerous Alliance stable, you are not the Triple Crown winner; were the Paul Heyman Guys Destiny's Child, you sure wouldn't be Beyonce.
And yet, here you stand with the Intercontinental Championship! Not only that?
You kinda should be Mr. Money In The Bank right now. Follow me on this one.
Sandow won the briefcase by cutting off Cody at the apex; he hasn't been able to beat Cody since. This Wednesday, despite CM Punk injuring his knee with your face for the past several weeks? You get in the ring with Cody, and without Heyman interference manage to pull off your weird hangman's neckbreaker for a clean in the middle victory! So kudos and other snack bars, CA. You're probably going to get your face kneed off a few more moments betwixt now and the beginning of October but here on Main Event you did it the old fashioned way: you took advantage of ring positioning to get in a couple shots that fell into a moral grey area, then took the former Intercontinental Champion out. At this rate you'll be a real boy someday.
Hell, you're better than Fandango. That's right, two As, one O. When you actually finish a match one way or another I will use your preferred appellation. Until such a point has been reached I'm Cassius Claying you, and you will dance there and like it, sir. This seemed to be the moment where like Axel earlier he seemed to be turning a corner. Even the prematch little moments were glorious - a perfect behind-to-back of his ring vest from the ring to Summer on the floor was second to this occuring seconds before as if Kingston hadn't faced off against him in that post-WrestleMania RAW where it'd all begun in the first place.
And then the match began and what'd Fandango do? He worked the arm of a guy who'd just come back from an arm injury, despite that not being the usual locus of his offense. There was even a sweet spin heel kick (a .7 Breeze) in there, and then? A DQ because Summer grabbed Kofi by the leg. Kinda. I made the same face Kofi made at the prematch, Fandango was salty, Kofi was way too happy, and it was a bum note to go ending the show on especially now that NXT is officially looking at me with those doe eyes and seductive smile. It's okay for a heel to be somewhat but not wholly incompetent.
Which reminds me, after Antonio Cesaro barely failed on his save attempt in the middle tag match and Darren Young appeared to have an injured leg down the stretch in Team Gadsen's loss to Team Deion, I think Jack should have to change his last name. The same way Tom Brady should have to downgrade to a loft and Ingrid Michaelson; something along those lines. There literally hasn't been any swagger in six months, but this is the penance he must do. And putting him next to Cesaro just shines another Timberlakian mirror on him being the Intercontinental Champion to the Swiss Superman's Beast.
Despite every champion in the E being a black hat, what Main Event is for is showing off advancement and depth. In one case this week it happened; in two other notable ones the flailing was almost audible.
Maybe they're just more autumn people than summers.
You live in the shadow of your father, and will forever. You drop more non-title matches than Kendrick Lamar drops bars. When you're on offense, the crowd is so riveted they chant invective at your manager (even if he is on the Mt. Rushmore of managerial work, still!). In the nouveau Dangerous Alliance stable, you are not the Triple Crown winner; were the Paul Heyman Guys Destiny's Child, you sure wouldn't be Beyonce.
And yet, here you stand with the Intercontinental Championship! Not only that?
You kinda should be Mr. Money In The Bank right now. Follow me on this one.
Sandow won the briefcase by cutting off Cody at the apex; he hasn't been able to beat Cody since. This Wednesday, despite CM Punk injuring his knee with your face for the past several weeks? You get in the ring with Cody, and without Heyman interference manage to pull off your weird hangman's neckbreaker for a clean in the middle victory! So kudos and other snack bars, CA. You're probably going to get your face kneed off a few more moments betwixt now and the beginning of October but here on Main Event you did it the old fashioned way: you took advantage of ring positioning to get in a couple shots that fell into a moral grey area, then took the former Intercontinental Champion out. At this rate you'll be a real boy someday.
Hell, you're better than Fandango. That's right, two As, one O. When you actually finish a match one way or another I will use your preferred appellation. Until such a point has been reached I'm Cassius Claying you, and you will dance there and like it, sir. This seemed to be the moment where like Axel earlier he seemed to be turning a corner. Even the prematch little moments were glorious - a perfect behind-to-back of his ring vest from the ring to Summer on the floor was second to this occuring seconds before as if Kingston hadn't faced off against him in that post-WrestleMania RAW where it'd all begun in the first place.
And then the match began and what'd Fandango do? He worked the arm of a guy who'd just come back from an arm injury, despite that not being the usual locus of his offense. There was even a sweet spin heel kick (a .7 Breeze) in there, and then? A DQ because Summer grabbed Kofi by the leg. Kinda. I made the same face Kofi made at the prematch, Fandango was salty, Kofi was way too happy, and it was a bum note to go ending the show on especially now that NXT is officially looking at me with those doe eyes and seductive smile. It's okay for a heel to be somewhat but not wholly incompetent.
Which reminds me, after Antonio Cesaro barely failed on his save attempt in the middle tag match and Darren Young appeared to have an injured leg down the stretch in Team Gadsen's loss to Team Deion, I think Jack should have to change his last name. The same way Tom Brady should have to downgrade to a loft and Ingrid Michaelson; something along those lines. There literally hasn't been any swagger in six months, but this is the penance he must do. And putting him next to Cesaro just shines another Timberlakian mirror on him being the Intercontinental Champion to the Swiss Superman's Beast.
Despite every champion in the E being a black hat, what Main Event is for is showing off advancement and depth. In one case this week it happened; in two other notable ones the flailing was almost audible.
Maybe they're just more autumn people than summers.