 |
| Destroyed instead of destroyer (screen cap courtesy of ProWresBlog) |
Somebody's gotta do it.
I agree.
I mean, this is ridiculous. It'd be like having Harry Potter with no Slytherin or what's-his-face!
Voldemort.
Right, right, right. We need somebody. We can't use Paige, or shouldn't anyway, they love her too much.
They did the same thing to Enzo. Plus, she just hit 21. She may get the call any day now.
All right, Emma?
...
...
...ahahahaahahahahaahah
BAHAHAAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA just seeing if you're still with me. Why would we ever turn Emma heel, she reminds me of back when I still had hope in my eyes and the quiet majestic beauty of a sunset.
Seriously. And by that logic, to the same lesser extent, we can't turn Bayley.
What do you---ah, hell. Yeah. Charlotte? I mean, it's in her DNA.
Oh, someday. But not today.
Well, that leaves Sasha.
Sasha it is. Now let's get some Chinese, I'm starving.
I don't have an NXT mole, which is all for the better. I can only assume I would wildly abuse the privilege. But I'm willing to bet my firstborn that'll probably never come that that conversation, or something like it, happened in the summertime down in Full Sail. As a result, in a land that rarely sees somebody go down the wrong path, Sasha put an emphatic first step on that road by losing to and laying out Paige post-match. (Was her using a Regal signature - the straightjacket neckbreaker - coincidence or a small breadcrumb for the the future since Regal's like an uncle to Paige? Secondly, where the hell is my Regal/Paige WWE project?)
While the main event was a serviceable Woods/Kruger bout the ladies produced the tastiest cream to be had this week. Paige didn't show anything resembling niceness until after the match, which per Wrestling 101 was going to be her downfall. She started off with some chain wrestling into a headbutt; no exchange has better summed up a wrestler's ethos in either the major or minor WWE league than that. Sasha would try to keep up with an especially nice victory roll. Paige's response? About a 1.4 second look of respect mixed with an unspoken "Nice." followed immediately by trying to kill Sasha again via Regal elbow spam in the corner to her backed up opponent since SHE HAS UNTIL FIVE and everything followed by a mudhole stomping. Sasha started fighting fire with fire, including a nice schoolgirl into the corner that effectively used the bottom turnbuckle and leverage as her tag team partner to stun Paige.
Whereas Kruger had Xavier in an armbar for the majority of their match, Sasha kept switching things up with rear naked chokes enhanced by bodyscissors, camel clutches, and the like. When she left her feet again to establish dominance, she got her crossbody reversed into a pinfall. Hence The Rage and whatnot. And now, until Eddie's daughter comes back if/when that happens, she's going to have to carry the weight of the evil divas down in Full Sail.
Whether it was the absence of Mr. Zayn or not, she pretty much had to carry this episode alongside Paige. CJ Parker didn't get jumped by Tyler Breeze nearly soon enough for any rational person's liking. Leo Kruger stalled for a lot of time and then put on 35 versions of the armbar and the armbar that somehow weren't his finisher before falling quickly to a Woodsian flurry straight outta Angel Grove. You read that correctly, and if he ends up naming his album that I better get 5% on it. Hell, even the tag match between Team Italy and Team Sponsored By France ended weirdly when the referee actually enforced the five-count of both guys in the ring at the same time with them having just pulled off a spin heel kick variant of the Hart Attack, thus continuing the streak of Enzo & Big Cass continue to prove they're not their catchphrase by taking a beatdown. Regal actually bumbled in a few spots on commentary. It was that kind of show, falling in the cromulent continuum.
When the highlights of the guys are Bo Dallas no-selling everything up to and including Fix Your Face chants, and the women deliver on a good match, it's easy to mark one down for the ovaries.
[Though I feel I should mention to those fans chanting Pochantas that Bochantas was right there and everything. You know Straight Outta Angel Grove is going to become a thing, you might as well get on that bandwagon now.]
I agree.
I mean, this is ridiculous. It'd be like having Harry Potter with no Slytherin or what's-his-face!
Voldemort.
Right, right, right. We need somebody. We can't use Paige, or shouldn't anyway, they love her too much.
They did the same thing to Enzo. Plus, she just hit 21. She may get the call any day now.
All right, Emma?
...
...
...ahahahaahahahahaahah
BAHAHAAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA just seeing if you're still with me. Why would we ever turn Emma heel, she reminds me of back when I still had hope in my eyes and the quiet majestic beauty of a sunset.
Seriously. And by that logic, to the same lesser extent, we can't turn Bayley.
What do you---ah, hell. Yeah. Charlotte? I mean, it's in her DNA.
Oh, someday. But not today.
Well, that leaves Sasha.
Sasha it is. Now let's get some Chinese, I'm starving.
I don't have an NXT mole, which is all for the better. I can only assume I would wildly abuse the privilege. But I'm willing to bet my firstborn that'll probably never come that that conversation, or something like it, happened in the summertime down in Full Sail. As a result, in a land that rarely sees somebody go down the wrong path, Sasha put an emphatic first step on that road by losing to and laying out Paige post-match. (Was her using a Regal signature - the straightjacket neckbreaker - coincidence or a small breadcrumb for the the future since Regal's like an uncle to Paige? Secondly, where the hell is my Regal/Paige WWE project?)
While the main event was a serviceable Woods/Kruger bout the ladies produced the tastiest cream to be had this week. Paige didn't show anything resembling niceness until after the match, which per Wrestling 101 was going to be her downfall. She started off with some chain wrestling into a headbutt; no exchange has better summed up a wrestler's ethos in either the major or minor WWE league than that. Sasha would try to keep up with an especially nice victory roll. Paige's response? About a 1.4 second look of respect mixed with an unspoken "Nice." followed immediately by trying to kill Sasha again via Regal elbow spam in the corner to her backed up opponent since SHE HAS UNTIL FIVE and everything followed by a mudhole stomping. Sasha started fighting fire with fire, including a nice schoolgirl into the corner that effectively used the bottom turnbuckle and leverage as her tag team partner to stun Paige.
Whereas Kruger had Xavier in an armbar for the majority of their match, Sasha kept switching things up with rear naked chokes enhanced by bodyscissors, camel clutches, and the like. When she left her feet again to establish dominance, she got her crossbody reversed into a pinfall. Hence The Rage and whatnot. And now, until Eddie's daughter comes back if/when that happens, she's going to have to carry the weight of the evil divas down in Full Sail.
Whether it was the absence of Mr. Zayn or not, she pretty much had to carry this episode alongside Paige. CJ Parker didn't get jumped by Tyler Breeze nearly soon enough for any rational person's liking. Leo Kruger stalled for a lot of time and then put on 35 versions of the armbar and the armbar that somehow weren't his finisher before falling quickly to a Woodsian flurry straight outta Angel Grove. You read that correctly, and if he ends up naming his album that I better get 5% on it. Hell, even the tag match between Team Italy and Team Sponsored By France ended weirdly when the referee actually enforced the five-count of both guys in the ring at the same time with them having just pulled off a spin heel kick variant of the Hart Attack, thus continuing the streak of Enzo & Big Cass continue to prove they're not their catchphrase by taking a beatdown. Regal actually bumbled in a few spots on commentary. It was that kind of show, falling in the cromulent continuum.
When the highlights of the guys are Bo Dallas no-selling everything up to and including Fix Your Face chants, and the women deliver on a good match, it's easy to mark one down for the ovaries.
[Though I feel I should mention to those fans chanting Pochantas that Bochantas was right there and everything. You know Straight Outta Angel Grove is going to become a thing, you might as well get on that bandwagon now.]