Paul Heyman currently is enjoying his run as a Bobby Heenan-esque Svengali figure in WWE. While his clientele has not ballooned to the size of the Heenan Family, he's been effective at being a canvas for various opponents to work from. I think that room exists in WWE for more than one manager to ply craft and agglomerate stables. Zeb Colter mills about, although his poor subjects aren't being given the kind of push that maximizes what he can do for them. One could argue Triple H is another manager, which is true in a way. The following list posits six more manager types who'd fit in the current WWE landscape.
1. John Cena, Sr.
Whenever John Cena, Sr. appears on my television, I get a rush of joy, almost like I need to see him more. His ebullient personality is perfect for a pro wrestling manager in the modern day. Sure, Johnny Fabulous is an anachronism, but I think that fact plays into his favor in that he's so corny he'd get super heat. I also think daddy would be the best way to keep his son a viable good guy. Let J-Fabs come out before Cena comes back and brag about how he's going to manage Jr. back to glory. Cena can respectfully rebuff dad, who in turn recruits every big bad he can to take out his ingrate of a kid. The story writes itself, and Cena, Sr. would ham it up so good that I ache thinking about how much I'd enjoy that narrative.
2. TED DiBiase
Yes, I'm talking the (former) Million Dollar Man, and the first name is capitalized on purpose. I imagine a reinvention of DiBiase's character, one where he's used his fortune to start a TED-talk empire. This gimmick would incorporate his current gig as an evangelical minister without the religious angle. His influence could range from fostering a main event wrestler as almost a golem-like automaton with motivation to go with talent to, say, instilling false confidence in a Zack Ryder to hilarious results. Rehashing a legend has its pratfalls, but a reboot has worked well for Dutch Mantell. DiBiase's a wonderful performer. He could make the jump.
3. Saraya Knight
Let's address the elephant in the room right now; I know that most people who know of the fiery and cantankerous stalwart of the British wrestling scene would revolt if she only got to WWE as a manager. I would love to see her wrestle on a bigger stage, but realistically, would WWE take a chance on someone of her age, regardless of gender? The chances would be slim. However, brought in as a stage mom or an intolerable taskmaster for her daughter Paige, she would generate so much interest just by her disposition and how ably she can pull off the raging tempest. Few people can be as scary in character as the elder Knight.
4. John Laurinaitis
Nothing will top Laurinaitis as the bumbling but well-meaning middle manager RAW general manager, but him Lumberghing his way through managing wrestlers on an every day basis would come close. I imagine him using his connections to try and get his wrestlers favorable treatment, but always bumbling at the end either because of bureaucracy or his own personal desire to micromanage situations and take credit for the good stuff.
5. Bruno Sammartino
Thirty years after leaving the company as a character, Sammartino being back in as more than a Hall of Famer would be surreal. He could assume a similar character to Crazy Old Man Bob Backlund, only with more Reality Era-gravitas given that he spent years of his life boycotting the company because of its lascivious nature. Rather than putting him back in the ring, he could spend his energies getting behind old school wrestlers who do things "the right way." Even if people don't know the name or only know it from the hushed tones in which it's been spoken recently, I think Sammartino would have some great old-man crotchety energy to put behind his spiels promoting whatever young whippersnapper ends up in his employ.
6. Sean O'Haire
O'Haire's character was stillborn for whatever reason, but I still don't think that failure had to do with his core talents. The guy can still talk, and do so in a way that evokes memories of an earlier incarnation of Paul Heyman, one that liked to live a bit Dangerously. His "I'm only telling you things you already know" ethic would slide so effortlessly into a Drew Rosenhaus/Scott Boras type agent, a slimy, sleazy profiteer who would stop at nothing to maximize profits for himself and for his clients.
 |
| Luv u, J-Fabs Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Whenever John Cena, Sr. appears on my television, I get a rush of joy, almost like I need to see him more. His ebullient personality is perfect for a pro wrestling manager in the modern day. Sure, Johnny Fabulous is an anachronism, but I think that fact plays into his favor in that he's so corny he'd get super heat. I also think daddy would be the best way to keep his son a viable good guy. Let J-Fabs come out before Cena comes back and brag about how he's going to manage Jr. back to glory. Cena can respectfully rebuff dad, who in turn recruits every big bad he can to take out his ingrate of a kid. The story writes itself, and Cena, Sr. would ham it up so good that I ache thinking about how much I'd enjoy that narrative.
2. TED DiBiase
Yes, I'm talking the (former) Million Dollar Man, and the first name is capitalized on purpose. I imagine a reinvention of DiBiase's character, one where he's used his fortune to start a TED-talk empire. This gimmick would incorporate his current gig as an evangelical minister without the religious angle. His influence could range from fostering a main event wrestler as almost a golem-like automaton with motivation to go with talent to, say, instilling false confidence in a Zack Ryder to hilarious results. Rehashing a legend has its pratfalls, but a reboot has worked well for Dutch Mantell. DiBiase's a wonderful performer. He could make the jump.
3. Saraya Knight
Let's address the elephant in the room right now; I know that most people who know of the fiery and cantankerous stalwart of the British wrestling scene would revolt if she only got to WWE as a manager. I would love to see her wrestle on a bigger stage, but realistically, would WWE take a chance on someone of her age, regardless of gender? The chances would be slim. However, brought in as a stage mom or an intolerable taskmaster for her daughter Paige, she would generate so much interest just by her disposition and how ably she can pull off the raging tempest. Few people can be as scary in character as the elder Knight.
4. John Laurinaitis
Nothing will top Laurinaitis as the bumbling but well-meaning middle manager RAW general manager, but him Lumberghing his way through managing wrestlers on an every day basis would come close. I imagine him using his connections to try and get his wrestlers favorable treatment, but always bumbling at the end either because of bureaucracy or his own personal desire to micromanage situations and take credit for the good stuff.
5. Bruno Sammartino
Thirty years after leaving the company as a character, Sammartino being back in as more than a Hall of Famer would be surreal. He could assume a similar character to Crazy Old Man Bob Backlund, only with more Reality Era-gravitas given that he spent years of his life boycotting the company because of its lascivious nature. Rather than putting him back in the ring, he could spend his energies getting behind old school wrestlers who do things "the right way." Even if people don't know the name or only know it from the hushed tones in which it's been spoken recently, I think Sammartino would have some great old-man crotchety energy to put behind his spiels promoting whatever young whippersnapper ends up in his employ.
6. Sean O'Haire
O'Haire's character was stillborn for whatever reason, but I still don't think that failure had to do with his core talents. The guy can still talk, and do so in a way that evokes memories of an earlier incarnation of Paul Heyman, one that liked to live a bit Dangerously. His "I'm only telling you things you already know" ethic would slide so effortlessly into a Drew Rosenhaus/Scott Boras type agent, a slimy, sleazy profiteer who would stop at nothing to maximize profits for himself and for his clients.