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| Not classless, but human and fun Photo Credit: Norm Hall/Getty Images |
If you don't want Johnny Manziel to "make it rain" after every touchdown, don't let him score a touchdown.
If you don't want Yasiel Puig or Jose Reyes or Domonic Brown or whoever to flip their bat or admire their shot after they hit a homerun, then don't let them hit a homerun.
If you don't want Urban Meyer or Bill Belichick or Bret Bielema to convert 4th downs when they're up huge, then stop them from converting 4th downs.
If you don't want Marshall Henderson to celebrate wildly after every big shot he hits, don't let him hit the big shot in the first place.
If you don't want TJ Yeldon to make a throat slash gesture after scoring, don't let him score.
If you don't want Terrell Owens to run out to the star in the middle of Texas Stadium and pose after scoring a touchdown, don't let him score a touchdown.
If you don't want Randy Moss to faux-moon the Green Bay crowd after a touchdown, don't let him score.
If you don't want to be shut out by Washington State, then maybe you should score some points before Mike Leach reinstalls his defensive starters to preserve a shutout.
Barry Sanders is my favorite non-Philadelphia athlete ever to play any sport ever, mainly because the man defied physics running the football. He, however, is fetishized by so many in the media and especially in white fandom because he never celebrated a touchdown. He handed the ball to the officials and went about his business. That decorum worked for Sanders. To expect everyone else to have bottled up feelings enough not to celebrate after a touchdown or any big play in any sport is borderline ludicrous.
Human beings feel emotion. Feelings are what make humans humans and not robots. I don't care if the stuffed-shirt, establishment-loving, probably-racist mainstream sports media and the owners and administrators they toady for perpetuate this notion of "class" as if it's the most desirable thing in sport. If a player wants to celebrate after a big play, let him. He's earned it. If a player wants to celebrate after a meaningless play? Fuck, let him do it. Doing a sack dance down 20 in the fourth quarter only makes the guy doing it look foolish.
Running up the score is also not classless; it's playing the game the way it should be played. Seriously, even discounting the miracle comeback corollary, what does taking the foot off the gas pedal say about the team that's winning? Wouldn't more disrespect be shown by a coach who thinks the other team needs welfare or sympathy than if they thought they were a danger enough to keep the foot pressed directly against the throat?
The desire to legislate human emotion within sporting contests is absurd and asinine. If an athlete scores without celebrating, he's not classy. His personality just dictates that he acts in a certain way. If a coach doesn't play prevent defense or put in his deep scrubs, he's not a monster. Whatever idea of "class" in sports you have is awful. Class doesn't exist; it's a construct invented by the establishment to keep down people who don't belong to their group. Don't let old, rich, white people dictate how sports should be played. Don't get pissed over stupid, "classless" bullshit.