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Be Careful What You Wish For, Ladies: Gut Check and Impact's Declining Attitude Towards Women

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A rockstar such as Athena deserves better than to be shoehorned as sexy cattle
Photo Credit: Greg Davis/DDS
So yeah, I'm pretty sure you guys have all heard of the Impact Gut Check thing they've been doing. If you follow any of the wrestlers who were involved on Twitter, then yeah, your timeline was filled up with requests to vote for them. Last week, it erupted in controversy, as the company relaxed voting restrictions, making it less about who had actual support amongst fans, and more about who could sit at the computer and vote for themselves the most. The voting has been fixed, and now the process is going on in a favorable manner. So now, wrestlers like LuFisto and Athena are back to getting their shot at making a national, televised wrestling promotion with major financial backing.

Obviously, even going to Impact Wrestling is a theoretical financial boon for independent wrestlers who might be lucky to get three figures per show worked. A lot of the wrestlers who make it there are still on per appearance deals, but those figures are in the thousands. If you miss a taping though, you could be in deep shit; just ask Jesse Neal. But then again, if you get regular work, then sure, it's better than working the indies for your pocketbook. But that's only if you're a man.

Women have gotten a historically awful rap in the company. We all know the story of Taylor Wilde being recognized at the Sunglass Hut while she was the sitting Knockouts Champion. I don't have the financials in front of me, but I assume since the door was blown off that, and after Daffney's travails shed some light on conditions, the salaries more than likely have improved. Then again, there's been a tradeoff.

In the days when women were paid in pittances, they had apparent artistic fulfillment. From its inception, the Knockouts Division was a creative boon for the company, often containing some of the most compelling feuds with some prime talent. Gail Kim, Awesome Kong, Wilde, Sarita, ODB, Nikki Roxx, Tara, and even Angelina Love were all wrestlers who could perform regardless of gender. The division got results too; oftentimes, the Knockouts garnered the highest ratings on the show. Just as they were getting set in their niche, they got the ovaries cut out from under them.

Today, Impact Wrestling's Knockouts Division seems more conforming to the WWE's model of how to treat women. Yeah, Tara is involved in a story right now as the Champion, but there's no divisional patchwork. It's one main feud, and the rest of the story is that the girls get trotted out either as intermediary matches on Impact, or for commercials like these.

It's not like the women angling to get jobs are green or undertrained or treading water in the indies. We're talking about LuFisto, the most gifted all-around performer not with a major company right now (and I'd gather she's better than a lot of people on either roster too). There's Athena, who has taken several promotions by the shorthairs with her personality and her ability in the ring. Courtney Rush, a wrestler who has more personality in the crud underneath her fingernails than most have in their entire bodies. They are wrestlers who deserve to be in main event spotlights wherever they go, and they're willingly going into a competition where their ceiling may very well be to put on lingerie and pose on chairs.

Of course, the discussion becomes one of a tug of war between artistic quality and making that paper. For men, that tug of war exists, but not in nearly the degree that it does for the opposite sex. CM Punk certainly isn't doing what he was allowed to do in his time before WWE, but right now, he's running at at least 75% capacity. The only two people who can reasonably claim they came or are coming close are Kharma and Sara del Rey. The former was a pet project of Triple H and possibly was being groomed for a Chyna-type role, and the latter may only escape the kind of degrading exposition by being a trainer in Florida. I mean, that's a great role for her, and it's one that people shouldn't scoff at, but holy shit, the fact that the best role for one of the best performers on the independent circuit in WWE is as a trainer because of her gender should raise some fucking red flags.

Of course, there's always the chance that there will be a reverse field in Impact, yadda yadda yadda, but regimes don't change so easily. Without the people there who pushed the Knockouts to more prominent roles (Scott D'Amore, for starters), how is the mindset of people like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan going to change? I think that LuFisto, Athena, and Rush should all get paid top dollar for their work. I really do. But there has to be a way they could get paid more without sacrificing the unique talents they bring to the table.

Sadly, I remain pessimistic that this Gut Check thing is going to be the route for them to achieve both. The outlook remains the same for Britani Knight/Paige and Davina Rose in WWE Developmental as well. Something has to change regarding women in wrestling in this country, because more and more, the top wrestlers on the scene are becoming more and more gender neutral in diversity. Until that day comes though, Gut Check as an avenue for top women to "make it" feels to be a bad idea. Be careful what you wish for, ladies. It just might come true, and if that's the case, we all lose.

Scott Finkelstein's NPWD Galleries

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Photo & Video Sharing by SmugMug
A maniacal genius and his happy family of minions and abominations before the Lord
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelsetin


Afternoon Card Gallery
Evening Card Gallery

I use Scott Finkelstein's photography a lot as visual aids for my writing, especially about independent wrestling. It might seem like I take him for granted, but he's a really good shutterbug who gets a LOT of great pictures. Here are his National Pro Wrestling Day photos. You'll be seeing a lot of these in the future on here, but take a look at the galleries anyway, especially for the Kaiju Big Battel match. Why? Because if my mind had to be full of fuck during that thing, the least you could do is look at the pics to get an idea.

A Roster Is Only As Deep As It's Utilized

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Did we really need to see this match as much as we saw it?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
What do Justin Gabriel, Curt Hawkins, Hunico, The Usos, Michael McGillicutty, David Otunga, Yoshi Tatsu, and Ted DiBiase, Jr. have in common? Yes, they're employed by WWE, but I'm not sure you would know it unless you happened to be watching the episode of WWE's televised programming they'd happen to be on, if at all. They're also pretty decent at what they do, if I say so myself. So why aren't they being featured, even as interactive punching bags for the guys they want to push and protect? With those guys being inert, there have to be enough guys being featured regularly that we get a semblance of freshness every week on WWE TV, right? Well, not exactly. When we have feuds that never end despite having the same matches being portrayed every week, then yeah, we're working at a diminished capacity.

With the guys on the main roster plus the ever-expanding coffers in NXT, I've heard more than a few times that this is the deepest roster in WWE history. Having been a fan during the '90s, I can attest to the quality of the guys under contract. It used to be that guys like Great Khali were the rule. Now, he's an exception. It's great to have that kind of talent in the ring in any given match, and I feel like it has made WWE match quality at an unprecedentedly high level.

However, what good is seeing a great match if it'll get replayed over the next month like a bad movie on old-school, pirated pay-per-view? Antonio Cesaro vs. Ryback was a unique match when it first happened. Then, four of the next five times they wrestled, they recycled the finish to their first match, and each time, the emotional impact of each finish was reduced exponentially. Having prolonged free-TV feuds is fine, but you need finesse to keep them going for a month. Having Ryback/Cesaro going and going and going and going isn't the way to go.

I don't know the specifics how to improve that particular feud, or any feud that has gone on way too long with the same match over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, but I don't think that having spot matches between Cesaro and, say, Ted DiBiase, Jr., or Ryback and, I don't know, Curt Hawkins, would have hurt. Variety is the spice of life, people. That's as true in professional wrestling as it is in a restaurant.

There's always this hysteria over people getting released. A lot of the excitement, at least from where I sit, seems to come from the fact that these wrestlers are getting released into the ecosystem and actually having matches we want to see. That could happen in WWE at a financial advantage for the guys performing. It's just WWE doesn't really know how or care to get these guys circulated in quality appearances. This isn't a plea to help "get guys over." Not everyone on the roster is going to be a future superstar. Then again, if they do connect with the crowd and become popular, then it's a happy accident. Still, the roster needs hands who can wrestle in good matches to help enhance the guys who are over, and to help keep things fresh.

A passable show has moments here and there and is anchored by the top stars and bombastic personalities. A good or great show though is dynamic. Having the same matches week in and week out isn't dynamic. What's the use of having a deep roster if you don't use it?

The Most Absurd WWE Superstars Ever

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He's handsome, brave, strong... and absurd?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Via WWE.com

WWE.com posted a list of the top 25 most absurd wrestlers they've had on their roster in their history. Given the history of their roster turnover, especially during the entirety of the mid-1990s, I'm surprised that it took this long for a list like this to materialize. WWE has never had a problem making fun of itself, so that wasn't the problem.

Anyway, I thought it was funny that they included The Mountie on this list. I mean, the guy was a former Intercontinental Champion and a huge part of the company in the early '90s (and later with Pierre Carl Ouellette as part of the Quebecers). Also, I missed out completely on Phantasio. Maybe that was for the better...

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 11th

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ALL WILL SUFFER
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Mark Henry (Last Week: 10) - He came back, and the force of entry was so great it catapulted him to the top spot. I had to recognize.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - She totally rocked the Ultimate Warrior t-shirt, which is not something mere mortals can do.

3. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Mark Henry threw his head so hard against the guardrail Monday that he got knocked down two spots. TWO. MARK HENRY DON'T FUCK AROUND. GROWN ASS MEN HAD TO TALK.

4. 3.0 (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Finally, they have reclaimed the gold, only this time, let's hope the crazy, Red Bull-addled Canucks get to hold it for more than one defense this time.

5. Prime Rib (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Even when it's a little dry and well done, it's still goddamn delicious.

6. Ben Brust (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Hey, you know those half-court shots that dudes launch in desperation at the end of games to try and tie/win in impossible situations? Yeah, this dude hit one for Wisconsin to send the game with No. 3 Michigan to overtime, a game the Badgers went onto win. That is Disney-level shit right there.

7. Green Ant (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Yeah, I know, it was Chikara doing something that WWE usually does, but c'mon, Green Ant has been groomed for this moment ever since the first time he stepped into the ring with Mike Quackenbush. He's ready for a title shot. Can't wait to see both the match against Eddie Kingston this weekend and the one he'll have in Orlando for the gold.

8. LuFisto (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did she tap the WSU World Champion in her CZW feature mixed tag match, she earned a number one contendership credit by putting down her archnemesis, Mercedes Martinez. Forget all that though; if LuFisto wrestles a bear this week, she'll shoot up to at least #2, if not #1.

9. Ellen DeGeneres (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Only because we have at least this one thing in common

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 9) - SARA DEL REY FACTS: Now that Mark Henry came back, the "facts" meme has defaulted to Sara del Rey, which she used to parlay into a lifetime supply of gum.

Instant Feedback: This Is Why I Watch

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Let's just conveniently ignore the final segment about Rock stealing cars and getting lit in bars underage. Let's pretend RAW ended with Kane and Dolph Ziggler. Actually, no, let's not. In fact, let's focus in on that. The segment, which began with Rock telling a story over the forced laughter of the announcers, was a microcosm of everything wrong with WWE. Rocky came into the ring, recounted a tale that went nowhere, and then took a legitimately heartwarming moment between CM Punk and Paul Heyman at the top of the show and turned it into a tired, pop-culture tinged gay joke. Then yeah, warmed over brawl segment, challenger hits his finisher. The only redeeming quality was that Punk stole the belt, which is a trope I always dig. But yeah, it was garbage. It was everything that I rail against WWE for and then some.

But then, everything that led up to that final segment? Yeah, the patchwork of matches, promos, and character building that comprised RAW's first 175 minutes? Yeah, that was golden. See, people like to ask why I watch the show if I'm always criticizing it. Reasoned, constructive critiquing of a show doesn't mean hate. It only means you have a brain and you use it. But for every really bad episode of RAW they bust out, they have a show like tonight's which hit every target. The aforementioned opening segment? It was a masterclass on turning a throwaway subplot that went theoretically nowhere and turned it into either something that tugged at the heartstrings for fans like me, or something that further drove home the sleaze of Heyman for others.

Mark Henry squishing Great Khali again and chasing it with a shot of Hornswoggle liquefaction? Thank you sir, may I have another? Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho, in a match that took the dangling potential of their legendary but overrated NXT encounter? Oh man, it was everything I wanted and more. Big Show just knocking folks out and then being too angry to form even dangling clause? YES! YES! YES! Alberto del Rio making the cliche point-to-the-sign thing and actually making it feel genuine? Damien Sandow heeling on the crowd for liking country music? RED BELLY breaking out the ring skirt as an offensive weapon to hit Kofi Kingston with a phantom Bull Hammer? ANTONIO CESARO GIVING MIZ NO FEWER THAN SIX HALF ROTATIONS OF THE GIANT SWING INTO THE BARRICADE? Why can't RAW be this good every week, other than the fact that it would take an immense toll on even a competent writing staff with a sane showrunner? Well, I think I just answered my own question.

The thing that I thought might have been the best part of RAW may turn out to be the most controversial. Dutch Mantell assumed the role of Zeb Coulter to be Jack Swagger's slightly racist, definitely xenophobic mouthpiece. I will explore the hell out of this tomorrow, because there is a lot of ground to cover with that topic (a blessing in disguise for a shithead blogger like myself with a lot to say and a drastic shortage of restraint with which to do it). There is a chance that the all new Tea Party proxy of Swagger and Coulter is too heelish for comfort, too abrasive that they engender a channel change rather than a desire to see them get their asses kicked. That being said, my line on this was not crossed, and I totally dug the fact that WWE broached this idea from the right side of the fence this time. I'm so used to them being on the wrong side of history that I'm refreshed that an acid-breathing, chest-thumping, Mexican-hating firebrand is actually portrayed as a bad guy for once. We'll see the execution, as it remains to be seen whether WWE has the touch to pull this off, but hey, they got the beginning right at least from where I sit.

Yuna Summons the Magus Wrestlers

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Photo Credit: WWE.com

Yeah, the finish of the SuperFriends/3MB match looked very familiar, almost like it was right out of Final Fantasy X. Yes, I know I'm outing myself as a huge nerd here, but didn't you people already know that? Anyway, even though I really don't care too much for this unholy alliance, it was cool seeing them do their finishers all synchronized like that. What can I say, I'm a sucker for pageantry.

Zeb Colter: A Frank Discussion

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Inflammatory? Hell yeah. Acceptable? Not as easy to answer
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Last night, the Jack Swagger "Real American" character was given a new mouthpiece in the form of Zeb Colter (played by Dutch Mantell, a riff or evolution of his Uncle Zebekiah character from the mid-'90s). As soon as Swagger gave him the mic after he dispatched Zack Ryder, Colter started spouting off like he was the infamous Sheriff Joe Arpaio. It was a transparent way of sparking a WrestleMania program between Swagger and the decidedly Mexican (and thus enemy of these "patriots") Alberto del Rio, but if that were the only consequence that came from the inflammatory speech given last night, it wouldn't have been as interesting.

Just as soon as the first xenophobic and possibly racist thing came from Colter's mouth, Twitter exploded with polarized reactions. Some were praising it as effective heel characterization. Others were skittish about WWE running with yet ANOTHER potentially racially or ethnically insensitive character, regardless of whether he was a good guy or bad guy. The only thing that could possibly seen as a consensus is that WWE has given the wrestling community something juicy to talk about and dissect, so let's get down to that, alright?

The biggest issue to tackle is the fact that Colter and Swagger are running with such xenophobic characters in the first place. Let's face it; WWE hasn't really had the best tradition with things of this nature. Whether it's their poor history with black wrestlers, or their fast-and-loose use of slurs against Mexicans or other Hispanic wrestlers by babyfaces no less, there's no real reason to believe that they're going to change in regards to having this kind of party line with one huge exception.

Swagger and Colter are bad guys.

They toyed with the idea of having an all-American style wrestler play the villain before in Kurt Angle, and it arguably was the single best idea for a character since the beginning of this century. While the flag and the essence of being American were parts of his character, it could be argued that his persona had little to do with using jingoism to get heel heat and was more an attempt at getting people to laugh at the dork who represented everything that the petering-out Attitude Era was representing.

The fact that Colter and Swagger are using the Tea Party, anti-immigration playbook, and that they're using terminology that was cribbed DIRECTLY from a Republican President (hello, the Patriot Act?) shows several degrees of self-awareness and even self-deprecation. The McMahons have never been shy about wearing their political views on their sleeves through their company, so the fact that they are presenting the Mexican guy as a hero (and let's face it, Alberto del Rio is the ONLY classic babyface on the roster right now who isn't injured) and the "real American" as the villain is such a shock to the traditional narrative that I can't help but give it the "wait and see" treatment myself.

However, it would take someone as blind as we've assumed the McMahons and WWE of being before this point to deny that there is still a lot of work to be done in order for them to be lauded for this kind of character. As a heel, Swagger's gotta get his comeuppance. Hell, Colter probably should get it too, since he's the real controversial element of this tandem. It doesn't have to come next week, but somewhere along they line, they have to be proven as false prophets and bad people. There's no evidence to suggest that will definitely happen, but the excuse of "they're heels" rings somewhat true for some people here.

But what about for others? A good heel gets people to want to see him get his or her ass kicked, but there exists a line to where the bad guy elicits a desire to see comeuppance and where he/she makes people want to turn the TV off in disgust over what is being presented to them. It is not wrong for people who watch wrestling to have the latter reaction. The most classic example is JBL doing the goosestep with the Nazi salute on the apron in Germany. A lot of people were disgusted because even 50+ years later, that country is not ready to deal with the heinous pock mark that the Third Reich left as a historical legacy. It doesn't make someone a chickenshit for not wanting that to be associated with their entertainment. It makes them human.

But the fact that the line isn't so easily drawn here is what makes this discussion a discussion and not a lecture. Everyone's line is different on every potential subject, even the ones that seem unanimous. I don't think that it's fair to tell EVERYONE that they have to do the wait and see and consider this as great heel work and not something offensive. However, I'm in the camp that will give Colter and Swagger a chance to play their narrative on camera. Even though it might not be wise to put trust in WWE to play something as politically sensitive as this with grace and dexterity, I don't think social issues should be off the table in wrestling as long as they're given a degree of self-awareness and lightheartedness. While there are things that I think are impossible to pull off in that manner (like, I don't know, domestic violence), immigration and jingoism isn't one of them.

So yeah, while I don't think anyone who is against this on principle is wrong, I also don't think wanting to see where it goes is a bad idea either. However, I hope we can agree on one thing. At least they're presenting Colter and Swagger as the bad guys here, and not as world-beating, asshole Americans. No matter what you think about immigration and how it should be handled, legal or illegal, there has to be a good and bad way of dealing with it, and the fact that Colter and Swagger are going about it the wrong way and are being presented as such, at least at first, should be at least somewhat acceptable.

STOP IT, HE'S ALREADY DEAD

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Photo Credit: WWE.com
So yeah, just when you thought Antonio Cesaro couldn't get any more awesome, he went and did this:





.gifs via Million Dollar Moves Tumblr

Uh, yeah, that was bad-fucking-ass. This utter display of not-giving-a-rat's-ass was outstanding for three reasons. One, it was a callback to one of his best moves as Claudio Castagnoli. The Giant Swing is such a classic, old-school move that can be made outright deadly through an application such as this. Two, he could have just stopped at one impact. Six? That's hammering it home. Three, and this is probably the most important one, it was Miz going full-tilt on making Cesaro look like a beast. I'm pretty sure Miz could've complained and protested to get out of it. But he took it like a Champ. He made that segment just as much as Cesaro did.

Wrestling Doesn't Need the Olympic Games

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No more of this at the Olympics? Not a big deal.
Photo Credit: WrestlingsBest.com
The International Olympic Committee has announced that starting in 2020, there will be no more wrestling at the Olympic Games. This announcement has caused a bit of an uproar today, even among the pro wrestling fans despite the fact that amateur and professional wrestling bear as much resemblance to each other as sea cucumbers and their vegetable namesake. Then again, many pro wrestlers, like Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger, all got their start in the business with a background in the amateur stuff. Additionally amateur wrestling influences tend to make the pro stuff come off better, at least to me.

Anyway, as with anything that gets axed from the Olympics, there is a major push to get this excise overturned and to keep amateur wrestling part of Games for the indefinite future. I understand the fervor associated with it, but to me, it illustrates a problem with the way society at large tends to work. Either you're part of the cabal or you're irrelevant, and it's just as much the fault of the people getting gypped here as it is the people doing the screwing.

If wrestling were that important to the people who don't want to see it taken from the Olympic slate, it really shouldn't matter that it is part of the organized event. Wrestling does not need the Olympics any more than the Olympics need wrestling. Yes, having the built-in hype machine and free advertisement of the Olympiad and the partner networks that broadcast it makes things exponentially easier. It's also not like the amateur wrestling world has something to fall back on either like baseball when it was dumped from the schedule a few years back. When that game was 86ed, Major League Baseball organized the World Baseball Classic to supplement its big money main show with a side course for the nationalistic appetite in us all.

Again, WWE is about germane to amateur wrestling as Vivid Video is to legitimate theater. However, to pretend that they don't have a vested interest in the health and welfare of amateur wrestling as a sport is a lie. It's no secret that they scour the amateur ranks, especially college, looking for mat masters to transition into their own company. They even used Angle's inspirational 1996 gold medal run as basis for his entire character, even if it was more of an ironic execution of it.

And they really might be the third biggest company in the country who does benefit from the existence of amateur wrestling. In Ultimate Fighting Championships, mat wrestling is less a motif and more a strategy. Of course, the biggest company to benefit from it, the NCAA, is technically not for profit, but they certainly don't act like it at times. It can be argued that wrestling is the fourth biggest sport at the college level after football, basketball, and hockey, and at some schools like Iowa, Penn State, and Minnesota, it's second only to football.

What am I driving at here? Well, what makes the Olympics such a titanic entity? Tradition is part of it, but money and exposure are the two big things. A grassroots world wrestling Championship event held by only the national and international governing bodies would flop on a relative scale. However, if they were to partner with UFC, the NCAA, and most importantly from the point of view of the typical reader of this site, the WWE, along with all their sponsors and "corporate Champions," there's no doubt that the global itch for wrestling would get scratched in a satisfying manner. Wrestling fans get to have their nationalistic thirsts quenched. The NCAA gets more recognition and moral standing, which are the only things they seem to value as much as the money they distribute among their crusty old men deans and athletic directors. And UFC and WWE? It's advertising and scouting rolled all up into one.

Of course, the concentration right now is going to be focused on keeping wrestling in the Olympics. That's fine, and it's important to fans who fear change and/or love tradition. However, there's a strong case for the sport to make a clean break and go into its own bubble. It's clear the Olympics are going more and more towards an audience that likes bourgeois non-sports like dressage and golf. Don't let the addition of rugby, perhaps the most brutal team sport on dry land, fool you. The attention paid to Ann Romney last year in London marked what I fear might be a sea change in what the Games are all about. Wrestling is too gritty, too real for them it seems.

So, let the people who aren't afraid of being considered outcasts be the ones who benefit from it. Even if amateur and pro fans don't have as much overlap as would be ideal, there's no denying that at least from a logical point of view, the only things the two branches of wrestling need to stay relevant in the absence of being included in the silly international reindeer games are each other.

It's A Banner Year for SHIMMER Injury Recoveries: Serena Deeb Is Back

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Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS
Via the SHIMMER Message Board

First it was Madison Eagles finally rehabilitating from her knee injury and coming back to active duty. Now, Serena Deeb will be joining her at the next five SHIMMER volumes (53 at WrestleCon and 54-57 in Berwyn). Deeb had missed the entirety of 2012 with a serious concussion, charting 17 months of recovery time by the time she returns to the ring April 6th in Secaucus, NJ. Not only am I psyched to see Deeb come back, I'm glad she took this much time. It's responsible. She's setting a great example for concussion recovery. SHIMMER is shaping up to be pretty epic this pass.

The Same Ten Questions with Jack Jameson

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Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy
This week, Anarchy Championship Wrestling's Jack Jameson tells us who inspires him, the effect National Pro Wrestling Day had on him, and why it's worth going to Texas for a gas station. All that and more after the jump.


You had the chance to participate in National Pro Wrestling Day. How did you feel about getting that opportunity?

It was surreal! To not only participate with a locker room that caliber, but to be able to say I was a part of the first ever National Pro Wrestling Day event is amazing. It was also one of the most incredible crowds to ever work in front of. I was humbled that day.

Since a lot of the wrestlers participating tend to wrestle outside of Texas, is there anyone you hadn't seen in person you were most looking forward to?

I was definitely looking forward to checking out Kaiju Big Battle. JoJo Bravo had been so excited to see them that it was hard to not be excited. I was also really excited to watch JoJo, Bolt Brady and ACH make Texas proud. Another thing I was pumped about...FINALLY EATING AN AUTHENTIC PHILLY CHEESESTEAK!

And how was it? Was it everything you hoped it would be?

And more! I have since vowed to never eat a cheesesteak that isn't from Philly. My beard became ten times manlier that day!

Now, one thing you definitely can't do in Philadelphia is go to a Buc-ee's. For those of us who aren't familiar with the chain, tell us a little bit about what we're missing, and why you love it enough to try to get a Buc-ee's chant going during a wrestling match.

Tried and succeeded a few times! Buc-ee’s is my favorite place when on a road trip. A) cleanest bathrooms known to mankind, B) incredible food, C) really affordable gas prices and even better merchandise, and D) THEIR MASCOT IS A BEAVER! Who doesn’t love them some beaver?!

Haha, oh dear. Speaking of beavers, and not in the way you think, you got to spend some time in Canada training with Lance Storm. What was that like?

Amazing. I loved my time in Calgary. Training with Lance was amazing and definitely pushed me to a whole new level. Monday through Friday for 3 months was intense but I loved every minute of it. Plus getting to know my roommate at the Storm House, Steve Bird, was fun. You always hear about your grandpa walking in the freezing cold to get to class back in the day. WE ACTUALLY DID THAT! Another thing Lance did for me was introduce me to Tim Hortons. I had to have gone four times a week.

That's not bad. I know people who average four trips a day!

And I am envious of them!

One thing we can pretty much all agree on is that 2012 was the year of ACH. Now that he's off to ROH, Jerry Lynn has retired, and Rachel Summerlyn is (lucky for me) branching out to different promotions outside of Texas, how do you feel about ACW in 2013? Is there anyone who you think will step up and become the next big thing?

From the looks of things, JoJo Bravo and Bolt Brady are well on their way to ACH's path. Carson and Barbi Hayden are making a bigger name for themselves as well. All four of them are strong candidates for 2013 being their year.

What are you looking forward to the most in the coming year?

Just getting out there. National Pro Wrestling Day showed me what's out there. I got a taste of it. It's time to spread some #MANarchy.

Is there a specific promotion you'd like to work for in the upcoming year, or anyone you'd like the opportunity to wrestle against?

I would love to work for Chikara, Dragongate and NJPW. Those are the next stones on this trail I call wrestling to jump to! I'd love to wrestle Rachel Summerlyn one on one. She's one of the strongest women around. A fan once posted on Facebook Jack Jameson vs. Rachel Summerlyn would be #MANarchy vs #WOMANarchy. I would love for this to happen sooner than later.

Any final words before we move on to the Same Ten Questions?

You can follow me on Twitter here, and Facebook here. It’s crazy that as we do this interview, I'm watching Great American Bash ‘05 on DVD. I remember watching this pay-per-view live hoping one day I could be a wrestler. Flash-forward 7 years and here I am being interviewed as a wrestler. Really makes you appreciate what I've been blessed with. Crazy part is - it's just beginning!


The Same Ten Questions

What is your earliest wrestling-related memory?
The earliest memory I have of wrestling was when I lived a year of my life in Washington State back when I was 3 or 4. I don't remember much of living in the state, but I remember always being allowed to stay up to watch Raw. My dad would work late so most nights I would be allowed to stay up ‘til he got home, and we would have a wrestling match before he tucked me into bed. But wrestling has always been around my family. Momma Jameson loves to tell a story of how she was 8-months pregnant with me at a wrestling show watching the Von Erichs. People told her to calm down but guess what, Momma Jameson didn't give a f--k! She rooted them on. She makes me proud.

What was the first wrestling show you attended?

The first show I remember going to was when a friend took me to a WWF house show. One match involved Mankind, who was trying to be tag team partners with Stone Cold, taking on Bret and Owen Hart. The main event was Undertaker and Vader in a casket match.

When was the moment you realized you wanted to step up from wrestling fan to actual wrestler?

The day that Eddie Guerrero passed away. I always admired him because he was about my height and my size but was handling his own against Undertaker, The Rock, Batista, HHH, etc. This was in the time when the Daniel Bryans, CM Punks and Rey Mysterios weren't in the heavyweight division so this was a huge motivational time for me. When he passed away and I watched WWE devote the Raw and Smackdown to his memory, something inside me decided that this was something I wanted to do.

Is there one wrestler in particular that you’ve always looked up to? Why?

It's hard to say I looked up to ONE wrestler because that isn't the case at all. Definitely Eddie Guerrero. Owen Hart and Chris Benoit were also two who I watched religiously. When I started watching indie wrestling, Bryan Danielson and Colt Cabana were huge inspirations to me. I loved watching people who weren't too far from my size and had their own unique flavor. Bastian Booger was also a HUGE favorite of mine because he was so out there and so different.

What is your favourite match you’ve wrestled thus far?

I've had a lot of really fun matches but two really do stand out. Getting to wrestle Lance Storm was a huge treat for me. When I went up to train at the Storm Wrestling Academy, everyone was told they'd get a match with him and I ended up getting to be the last match of the class. By this point, Lance wanted to see where I was at so he really pushed me to my limit. Another match that I hold dear in my heart was my 1-1 match with JoJo Bravo in San Antonio, TX. It was just fun and the crowd was really behind it. Hell, he beat me with a Dragon DDT off of the ceiling.


Now that you’re involved in wrestling, who within the industry inspires you?

Lance obviously holds a majority, if not all of my inspiration. I learned so much from him and can never thank him enough. Other people who keep me inspired are JoJo, Bolt, Ricky, ACH, Biss, Carson, Barbi, Vexx, Jeff and Steve. My friends have constantly been there for me through thick and thin and always keep me on the path to "making it". I also definitely have to throw a ton of gratitude to Darin Childs and Rachel Summerlyn for giving me my opportunity in Anarchy Championship Wrestling. I truly feel all of these great opportunities wouldn't be happening without them. The Submission Squad have constantly been giving me feedback on my matches and teaching me how to better myself both professionally and personally. I owe them a ton. Rich Swann has also become a huge motivation for me because he took me under his wing and showed me that I can handle the next level that awaits me in wrestling.

If you could wrestle for any promotion in the world, which would you choose, and why?
I have always wanted to work for New Japan Pro Wrestling. If I could pick one promotion, they are definitely on the top of my list. I love everything about it. I have always loved everything about the Japanese culture, and the production NJPW puts on is top notch.

Besides yourself, is there an independent wrestler out there you think should get more love?

God, there isn't just one. People are going to start hearing about JoJo Bravo and Bolt Brady who are well on their way to being household names. Ricky Romida, Matt Palmer, The Submission Squad, Carson, Barbi Hayden and Ricky Starks are all names people need to start YouTube-ing!

Was there a moment, either in your training or your first match, that made you reconsider being a wrestler?

There has never been a moment that I have ever reconsidered not being a wrestler. Were there days that I thought it would be easy to just quit? Sure. Were there days that I realized others jobs would make paying rent easier? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, I am a professional wrestler...I will accept nothing less for a career.

What is the most fulfilling part of pursuing a career in wrestling?

Being able to look back on 8-year-old Jack Jameson who (while wearing a Macho Man t-shirt) told his class on career day that he was going to be a pro wrestler, and knowing I'm on the path to making that kid's statement true!

The Best Moves Ever: Air Bourne

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I have a special place in my heart for the shooting star press, because it was the first ever "flippy shit" move that I saw. I was amazed by it, even done by a total schlub like Mark Mero. A lot of people do the move now, because hey, proliferation of the propagation and all that. Two guys do it form-perfectly though from where I sit. The first is Paul London. The other guy is a dude whose presence on WWE TV I miss so much, Evan Bourne. Here he is doing it from a makeshift ladder scaffold at the last ever WrestleMania Money in the Bank ladder match against another guy that I miss so much from WWE TV, Christian.

Your Midweek Links: You CAN Leave the WBC

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Whom should he face at WrestleMania?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Staff Pieces:

- Hey! I had Bryce Remsburg on the podcast for a seventh time last week, so listen up if you want the skinny on Chikara and the full wrapup of National Pro Wrestling Day [Episode 88: Yellow Submartel]

- Danielle interviewed Jojo Bravo earlier this week! [The Same Ten Questions]

- And hey, Dani's back with her Best and Worst of Impact, which she, like the rest of us, probably fell asleep during [With Leather]

Wrestling Links:

- Wrestling snobbery is bad. Embrace open-mindedness! [Wrestlegasm]

- An argument for why WWE should add the Chamber to the six-man Shield/SuperFriends tag match [The Wrestling Journal]

- Fantasy booking opponents for CM Punk at Mania [¡Olé! Wrestling]

- Someone Photoshopped Alberto del Rio with a bunch of pornstars because of course they did [With Leather]

- And of course, the Best and Worst of RAW, featuring more .gifs of Antonio Cesaro braining Miz on the barricade [With Leather]

- On the importance of having a presence on the Internet [The Wrestlefan Writes]

- A huge, in-depth piece about Nigel McGuinness on The Classical [Part 1|Part 2]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Megan Phelps-Roper and her sister Grace have left the Westboro Baptist Church [UPROXX]

- Hey, the freakin' pope resigned! Here are the 8 most controversial pontiffs in history [Buzz Feed]

- 15 questions athiests are sick of answering [Buzz Feed]

- The NCAA, mainstream sports journalists, and crusty establishment-types all suck, and now I'm rooting for Shabazz Muhammad to drop 80 on every team he plays from here on out [Deadspin]

- Rex Reed calls Melissa McCarthy a "tractor-sized hippo" in his review of Identity Thief. In other news, fuck Rex Reed with a rusty railroad spike. [Film Drunk]

- The five kinds of player baseball teams shouldn't offer contract extensions to ahead of time [Baseball Nation]

- Speaking of which, here are the 15 worst contracts in baseball right now. Surprise, surprise, Ryan Howard's is only 3rd worst [Grantland]

- The models used for all the characters in Archer [Vulture]

- Ben van Iten goes into crow-eating mode and lists the 32 things he was wrong about this season [The Footbawl Blog]

- The top ten names associated with National Signing Day [Lost Lettermen]

- It's not recruiting season if a recruit's mother doesn't prevent him from signing with one college over another one... wait, what? [Dr. Saturday]

- Castro and Plichter hit up a hot new pizzeria in Philly, Bufad [Doughboys]

- A grilled cheese sandwich that's all cheese? Sign me up! [Dude Foods]

- 2000 photos from the Westminster Dog Show? HECK YEAH! [Deadspin]

The Only Way the Fantastic Four Could Be Better

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Photoshop Credit: stan mikita iv

TWB reader/Facebook fan/commenter stan mikita iv made this picture in Photoshop and posted it to our Facebook Wall. It is what The Thing would resemble if his human form was Dusty Rhodes instead of Ben Grimm. As much as I like the Fantastic Four, I think Big Dust would be an improvement in the group, especially since his Bionic Elbow would be even more effective.

It's Just One Picture, It's Just One Picture, It's Just One... ¡OLÉ! ¡OLÉOLÉOLÉ! ¡OLÉ! ¡OLÉ!

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Photo Credit: @ChaseIsStupid

So yeah, that's El Generico in that picture. And he's getting into a NXT ring. As El Generico. NXT. Generico. NXT... GOOD LORD! IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAP... actually, let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. There are many cases of guys getting to NXT, going under either their real names or their former ring names just until the generator spit out their WWE appellation. But this has to be optimistic, right? RIGHT?

Keep your eyes peeled. This isn't confirmation, and really, I actually think that whether he stays El Generico, ditches the mask completely, or does anything in between, he'll be fine. He's a natural babyface. But I'll be damned if I'm not excited just a little bit.

Best Coast Bias: DIOS. MIO.

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WRESTLING! YAY!
Photo Credit: WWE.com
At the end of the fastest 45 minutes WWE's put on this year, I borderline recoiled in my chair.  That's how blown away I was.  Of course I was.  I'd turned into Ryblack.

Feed.   Me.   More.

Outside of the main event, you give me (briefly) the Rock Going To Sleep, an annoying midget getting welcomed to the Hall of Pain, and Paul Heyman doing in 90 seconds on the mic what most guys couldn't do if they stitched their whole career together recap and hype-wise?  You can give me the whole Superfriends/Shield segger to close out.  You do what you need to do.

As long as everything else is that awesome and pristine, and you come out of the gates with a brilliant setup segment AND a possible Match of the YEAR candidate?

This is why the lifers never leave.  This is why I've been dodging the column on the tip of my fingers since the Rumble that basically goes "Vince is making 9 figures in a week come WrestleMania time, so the concerns of me and my peeps, while understandable, don't amount to a hill of beans.  Forget it, Internet.  It's McMahontown."  Shows like this remind you why.  Hey, let the casuals come in and out.  Give me the OBSCENELY EXPENSIVE Y2Jacket kicking off the show with the Highlight Reel.  I'll let myself chuckle at the Jeritroll footage rolling on the Tron seeing him do the same stuff now except with a voice & getting cheered.  That's a thing for me, or at least it feels that way.   Not only did Mr. Cesaro keep Miz from commentating, he bumped him off the Reel and avoided the immovable object of my fandom vs. resistible object of my disgust.  And we got to see why in another oh-right-that-WAS-super-awesome quick video.  What do you call a metrosexual getting swung repeatedly into the barrier?  STUPID AMERICAN!  So before Chris gets to introduce the substitute guest, Ricardo comes out.  Cue Del Rio, already fitting in ably as a fighting champion who's response to the largest athlete in the world and known dick to he & his is "Domingo, pinche gringo.  Let's samba."  (I'm rounding up.)  Great interperson three-man occurs, with Chris not only bringing up his Corazon de Leon days and Del Rio's ancestry but noting if he wins and Alberto wins goodness aside HE'S COMING FOR THE BELT, DADDY.  Ricardo only got a little time to shine but he got to show off his Madeline Kahn in Clue variation (en español tambien), and of course he was getting a chant by the time it was over despite the fact the majority of the audience had no idea what he was saying because he was hitting Mariah Carey octaves.

Then came the Blondtourage since Dolph is here to interrupt the seg HERE TO INTERRUPT THE SEG.   Dolph runs his yap, reminds everbody of the briefcase.  Alberto offers to shut him up by wrestling him.   It was 10 minutes in.  Some of my favorite people on the roster were shining.  How could this get any better?

Oh, they could kick out the jams for 20 minutes, that's how.  In a match that I should've had to pay for, Ziggler and Del Rio - no strangers to excellent pro graps work but somehow always doomed to be overlooked when Mssrs. Punk and Danielson are on the roster - were so awesome the people responsible for sweetening the show got to take a smoke break.  Why was this happening on the C show right before the PPV?  WHO CARES.  It was about JBL putting over the fact that either on his own or with the Big E.'s help Dolph might cash in tonight and win the World Title here tonight.  His nose grew a foot, but still, it added that little bit of cilantro to the sauce cooking in the ring.  Ziggler took a .4 Ziggler off of a catapult.  Not to be outdone, the World Champ took a .7 Ziggler over the top rope and face-first into the steps.  It was that kind of gangsta party between two of America's most wanted grapplers.  Did it stop there?  What're ya, loco?  Del Rio busted out an inverted superplex (¡!) that could've ended any match; Ziggler survived and uncorked the Best Dropkick in the Universe a couple of times for Alberto's trouble. 

Not only that, but Del Rio took the trip to Elbow City.  Zig may want to scrape that out of his arsenal, as the crowds this week were counting along with the elbow drops as somewhere backstage Ezekiel Jackson shed a tear.  Del Rio's comebacks just look tres Layla McCool; he knows when to uncork them and somehow his getting fired up doesn't look contrived or phony.  Possibly because he's just tapping into this side of the ledger.  And him using the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker & basement superkick now that he's para la raza have always looked good.  In there against Ziggler they looked like Joe Pesci getting made in Goodfellas.  Ziggler's monster DDT could've ended it.  Del Rio's forearms to the kidney binge and #10 being a Lungblower instead of another was not only innovative but also need to be added to his smile before he injects the poison arsenal.  AJ started having to get involved as Del Rio started coming on with his third wave, and Ziggler got off the FameAsser and a sleeper.  But funnily enough, the moment on the outside came as Big E delivered a cheapshot of his own and Ricardo got off a shot with the bucket that did nothing but make the big man chase him to the back.  Monday, Ziggler fell prey to it.  Wednesday he just got caught in the middle of the ring with the Code Red.  Remember this moment if and when Ziggler cashes in on him, a moment I could've sworn was coming Sunday before this show happened but I'm now convinced will be happening at the Granddaddy of Them All.   And go out of your way not only to see this match but remember it in 10 months when people're kicking around Match of the Year candidates.  It was a pitch perfect half hour of television front to back that only made me sad when it reminded me of Community only getting 3 seasons.

We may not always get the triumphant notes we would like.

Our heroes may be forced to suffer the arrows and indignities of being overlooked or bad booking.

But every so often, a fully realized perfect or near perfect thing happens, and you get to see it, and you clap your palm against your brain.

Oh, right.

THAT'S why I'm here.

And this week, against all odds, was Main Event just that?

Si.

SI.

¡SI!

KING. KONG. TAMPA.

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The term "dream match" gets thrown around A LOT in wrestling, either by fans or by some unfortunate promoters who have an affinity for opening gates of evolution. I am guilty of this from time to time, but yeah, I try to use the term when it's deserved. I think here, it's deserved. Eddie Kingston, the reigning and defending Chikara Grand Champion, will be going up against The Amazing Kong at the Orpheum in Tampa, FL, as Chikara makes its Florida debut. That is how you make a splash in a new market.

I know I'm somewhat of a Chikara apologist, but man, they make it super easy for me to heap praise upon them. Between that match on Friday and the Orlando Grand Championship defense against Green Ant the next day? Kingston's weekend alone is going to make these Chikara shows worth either attending or purchasing.

This Week In Off-Topic: Happy Valentine's Day!

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Man, I had a whole bunch of righteous indignation ready for today, but it all just went poof. I don't have the energy to write about Rex Reed and how he's an awful, horrible human being for fat-shaming Melissa McCarthy in the first place and then hiding behind the "oh, I was just worrying about her health" excuse. So yeah.

Instead, here's an earnest wish for all you people out there who celebrate to have a great V-Day. If you don't have a reason to, that's fine too. There's someone out there for you. I promise.

The Known and the Uncertain: WWE Elimination Chamber Preview

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Even if the result's in doubt, we know Punk and Rock can deliver
Photo Credit: WWE.com
One one side of the card, there is an impending sense of dread. The WWE Championship's road to WrestleMania feels like it will end at the rematch of a lifetime, which makes the nominal main event of The Rock vs. CM Punk feel more like an afterthought, a formality even, than a wrestling match. Don't get me wrong. It's not the worst thing that could happen. Punk proved that he could draw water from a Rock and make 20 or so minutes in the ring with a blown-up, too-muscular-for-his-own-mobility movie star feel more wrestling match than exposition of how great we're supposed to think Dwayne is. I've had enough time to brace myself for the finish, and I think everyone who is observing has too.

The thing is that even if someone has the time, it doesn't mean that they would necessarily want to expect a result that they don't necessarily want. Just look at the response to the Royal Rumble. That finish was telegraphed from the night after Mania last year. The Rock said he wanted to come back and be WWE Champion once more, and really, who was going to stop him? When it was announced he'd get his title shot at the Royal Rumble this year back at RAW 1000, the tea leaves all pointed to a concrete date. Yet, people were still gutted that Punk lost the title. I'm not saying they didn't have a right to be; truth be told, if we are to believe pro wrestling Championships are to mean something, then why should we want the misogynist frat boy jock be the representative of WWE and not the guy who actually told the truth and spoke to us as fans, even if he was talking about how he hated "the people" out of the other side of his mouth?

WWE has a formula, and that formula doesn't take into account the voices of fans who say they'll riot if John Cena wins but always seem to be tuned in week after week despite the fact that Cena almost never loses. However, it almost feels this year like they realize they're going all-in on a dreadfully transparent main event for their biggest event, and that they're throwing a bone to the people who want a little bit of shaking up on their Mania forecast. That's where the titular Elimination Chamber match comes in. There are six men in that match vying for the chance to wrestle for the World Heavyweight Championship at Mania. Daniel Bryan, Kane, Jack Swagger, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Mark Henry all could step into a main event-level match at the big one. Neither Alberto del Rio nor the Big Show are locks either way to win their match. And of course, the biggest X-factor in all of this is Dolph Ziggler, who could cash in his briefcase during the show Sunday and punch his own ticket to Mania.

Of course, there are several different apparent programs out of those wrestlers that could end up as matches at MetLife Stadium. del Rio and Swagger seem to be on a collision course, given Swagger's new Tea Party affectations and megaphone-volumed mouthpiece. Jericho and Ziggler also seem to be likely dance partners, assuming the roles that Shawn Michaels and Jericho himself played at Mania XIX respectively. Bryan and Kane seem to be one Tag Title loss away from totally combusting into a marquee attraction match. However, the fact that all of them could end up as title matches throws a bit of mystery and surprise in how they're going to set those matches up. That's the selling point of the Chamber. It's not necessarily for the big shock, but it's for the completist fans who want the entire story. Of course, the Chamber itself is one of the crowd-pleasingest matches they have on their slate.

The intrigue doesn't really end there, either. The other huge match pits the Shield against an amalgamated trio of WWE's most popular big-game hunters, Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback. The fact that we're past the entire taping cycle for WWE television this week and we're still not sure whether this match will be held inside the Chamber, while WWE.com seems to indicate that there will be two such matches on the card is enough to make my mind race here. Additionally, the logistics of the Chamber being used in a tag team match hearken back to one of classic wrestling fans' white whales, the War Games match. As we get into the possible results of the match, the doomsday scenario of the three mowing through each member of the Shield like a guillotine through Jell-O doesn't seem all that likely.

Then again, then again, they're not going to offer John Cena up on a silver platter before he goes toe-to-toe with The Rock at WrestleMania, are they? That's the most troubling part about this match. Cena, the man who could copulate with an ovulating woman on fertility drugs bareback and not get her pregnant due to how protected he is, is not laying down when he's gotta go defeat Rocky and take back the Spinner Belt he's not held since SummerSlam '11. The narrative comes full circle. They've already telegraphed what their big New York Mania main event is going to be, and now, they've got to protect it at all costs. Does that take a lot of the unpredictability out of Elimination Chamber, the event? Sure it does. Even if you don't subscribe to the same idea that execution far trumps predictability like I do, there's still a bit of uncertainty there for you.

All you have to do is look at the World Heavyweight Championship match and the Elimination Chamber surrounding it, and you'll get all the mystery your heart can handle.
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