And the man could rock a bowtie, Chippendale's style too! Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Jerry Lynn retired this weekend after working one final show in his home state of Minnesota. It was in a four way match that also featured his long time independent circuit rival Sean Waltman (who unfortunately ripped his anus wide open while doing a Bronco Buster in that match... best wishes for recovery, I can't even make a joke about that). It's appropriate since the two spent so much time in the indies, back before ECW made the idea of a financially viable sub-corporate wrestling company with national exposure a possibility, facing off against each other. Waltman would make it to the WWF, and Lynn, despite dalliances with WCW in their cruiserweight division, would have to wait for his turn in the spotlight until ECW gave him a go-around.

Lynn was rocketed into the wrestling mainstream when he was put on the opposite end of the ring with Rob van Dam to feud over the ECW Television Championship. I'm not sure how many matches Lynn won in the series, my rough guess would be a number that ranges between zero and one. However, this feud was one of those at the time that really wasn't noted for who came out on top; rather, it was strictly for its match quality that the round of matches was praised. It's been awhile since I've seen them, and honestly, given my opinion of RVD over time, I'm not terribly excited to go back and watch them. However, I think if there was anyone who could have wrangled something beginning to resemble a wrestling match and not "standing around waiting for RVD to get his goddamn fake tai chi routine done so he could land a fucking kick that may or may not knock teeth out of my mouth," I think it could have been Lynn.

Sometimes, I think that series stunted Lynn's growth a little bit. RVD had "star power," and Lynn was a wrestler, compared favorably to Lance Storm or other "workrate" guys, or that he was only a cruiserweight. WWE seemed to pigeonhole him as they're wont to do, but there's a chance that the company wasn't a fit for the man formerly known as Mr. JL. I'm not going to say either way if that was the case, because I can't read minds. However, Lynn going free back into the indies may have been best for all parties involved.

It was back outside of Corporate Wrestling America where it felt like he was at home, appreciated. We all know about the ROH World Championship reign, which was widely panned at the time. Looking back, I think at least I was wrong to criticize the run. You could have done far worse for a transitional Championship run between Nigel McGuinness and Austin Aries' second run. But it was especially in Austin where Lynn did his best and most influential work. The man wasn't nicknamed the Godfather of Anarchy for nothing, and so many wrestlers down there, whether Rachel Summerlyn, Scot Summers, Davey Vega, or any of the other wrestlers ACW has brought to the forefront vocally have owed him a debt of gratitude.

I guess that's why his retirement this weekend is such a big deal. Without sounding too sappy, Lynn gave a whole shitload of himself to the art of wrestling in many ways that at least I may not even know about. People like him should be celebrated, not ignored or brushed off. And that's why I say thank you to one Mr. Jerry Lynn. Without him, the indies might be a duller place right now.

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Hello everyone, and welcome to my top 100 matches that I watched in 2012. In years past, I did a top 25, but I figured I'd be a bit ambitious this year. Besides, there's a ton of good wrestling happening all around us; I feel like 25 matches were too few to represent that fact. Heck, 100 matches may be too few as well. However, it's a nice round number. I like nice round numbers. Anyway, I don't really have a set of criteria that dictates which matches go on here or not. Basically, a match is good if it's good. I know that sounds recursive, but sometimes, I just can't explain the emotional responses I get from a wrestling match. This is a chronological list, because if I had to rank these in any order of merit, I'd probably go mad. So, now we shall start with the revealing of the matches, and our journey takes us to Austin, TX to start:

Robert Evans vs. Portia Perez, ACW Guilty By Association 6, 1/15
Originally published in my review for ACW Guilty by Association 6

Justin Bissonette and Rachel Summerlyn set the stage perfectly and gave at least the company line on what was happening. For someone like me, who hadn't been following as closely as I would have liked, it was a great way to play catch up on the story, even if according to other folks like Brandon Stroud, it took on a different tone.

There was just so much going on in this match. There was base emotion, Evans acting like a man possessed because Perez ripped his heart out. It was wondered whether Perez had a heart with which anyone could do the same. Regardless of how the story played out, let's meditate on the fact that a professional wrestling love story between a man and a woman played out to a match between the two, and it was even mostly throughout. If that doesn't feel game-changing to you, then you're not paying attention.

To the untrained eye, I think it might have come off as misogynist fantasy realized, especially given the results. That would be patently ignoring the fact that Perez had an advantage throughout most of the match and spent a good portion of the closing minutes of it wrenching Evans' neck in the crossface. In fact, it could be argued she was the better competitor but was only felled because Evans got breaks, literally, on being able to target her back and to benefit from her "slipping" on a steel chair to cause an ankle injury.

Regardless, this was a phenomenal realization of what storytelling in wrestling could be about. It had all the classic tropes of technical wrestling thrown in with the things that made matches like that "personal." It had a big match feel and it hit on every note that I was looking for in a match.

Rachel Summerlyn vs. Jessica James, ACW Guilty by Association 6, 1/15
What started out as an amicable display of roll ups and arm drags between friends turned into one tag team partner getting LOUD in the other one's face about respect. How did the House of Paincakes get to where they got? It's the little things, like Summerlyn going just a bit too rough on a basement yakuza kick. One kick to the face while James was kneeling down, ready to get back up, set the brunette portion of the legendary Texas tag team off. That's the brilliance of this match. It started subtle and it build to the point where Lady Poison was inside, waiting to strike at a vulnerable moment which came too late for James to do anything about winning this one.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Jay and Mark Briscoe vs. Jigsaw and Hallowicked, Tag Proving Ground, ROH Homecoming 2012, 1/20
Originally published in my review for ROH Homecoming.

Maybe I'm biased, maybe I'm not, but holy crap, what a fun match. It started out with Mark getting double-teamed by Jig and 'Wicked, getting isolated in the corner with quick tags, arm wringers and flying strikes from the top. It was all basic tag stuff unless a basic knowledge of Chikara was had by the observer. If that were the case, one might know that Jig and Wicked are the most tecnico of all the tecnicos and to see them work rudo in a match was just a spectacle to behold.

This didn't last long, as the match moved on into almost uncomfortable squash-match levels of dominance by the Briscoes. The thing though was that even though I'm almost programmed to hate on uncompetitive high up on the card, I couldn't totally not be impressed here. The Briscoes just work as such a well-oiled machine. Obviously, being brothers and tagging together for the better part of a decade will do that for a team, but there's just a certain beauty in the carnage doled out by #DemBoys. It helped that both opponents, Jigsaw especially, bumped their asses off in an effort to make them look like world-beaters. The count out spot where Jig made it back in on 19, leading to the Chikara masks all pouring out, was the exclamation point on that second act.

The third act was something special though. I loved how the mere presence of Quack and his students was enough to uplift the challengers to a point where they were now matching the Briscoes blow for blow. There was an energy, one that would be explained after the match by UltraMantis Black as family. The ring surrounded by masks clearly rattled the Briscoes, and it was perfect storytelling for two rednecks from Slower Lower to be spooked by a colorful masquerade of wrestling's motley crew of bandits. Obviously, in order to make this story last past Philly, there had to be some shenanigans, and they were played off so well, starting with Jay acting on his almost xenophobic reaction to the flood around the ring by decking Dasher Hatfield with a clothesline. One thing led to another, and before anyone knew it, Bryce Remsburg had to turn away from a Hallowicked whose mask was still mangled from Mark clawing and grabbing at it to count a 1-2-3 by Jigsaw to secure the victory. It was a spectacle. It was a hard-hitting match. It was a show, and when wrestling is at its best, it's going to be a show.

Mike Quackenbush vs. Green Ant, Chikara The Thirteenth Hat, 1/28
Watch it here!

Do you like mat wrestling and submission trading? I don't. I love it. Quack and Greenie have had two really awesome sprint-type matches in the last couple of years. Obviously, I was excited for this, but wow, this was clearly the best of their three encounters. The mat exchanges were so intricate that it would be impossible for me to explain each one in great detail. It almost felt like they were ad libbing, doing their best impression of the World of Sport greats that no doubt the two watched together at Wrestle Factory training sessions.

Things got a bit chippy around the middle when the two were trading double handed chops while locked up. It was a small preview of some bubbling tensions that might have sprung up, but it led more into a high-octane rope running moves sequence than a heated brawl, which given the context, was the optimal road traversed.

The match finish was the perfect cap on the story these two mat masters were telling. Quack went for Quackendriver III, but Greenie slipped through it seamlessly into his Chikara Special Green for the clean tapout victory. The amazing thing? That wasn't even the best counter exchange of the match, which happened about a minute or so before when Quack escaped the cloverleaf by lifting himself up onto Greenie, countering out with a sunset-flip style move into a standing rear position. It was just masterful wrestling all around. Green Ant is worth the hype.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Damien Sandow (c) vs. Richie Steamboat, FCW 15 Championship Match, FCW TV, 1/29 (airdate)
Watch it here!

This match was the first time I had seen either wrestler. Steamboat had bigger expectations to live up to for me at the time, because I was such a fan of his father's, but it was Sandow who stole the show for me. It was the start of a beautiful year for the former Idol Stevens, but all journeys start somewhere, don't they?

Sandow's methodical pace and his awesome mannerisms won me over. There was a sequence on the outside where Steamboat went for a baseball slide from the ring, and Sandow just pulled up the skirt and let Steamboat fall between the ring and the apron. I love that kind of ring play. It's a huge reason why I loved pre-3MB Drew McIntyre; he's the best at using the ring as a weapon in legal ways. Afterwards, when he had Steamboat knocked out on the outside, Sandow patted Steamboat in the face as if to say, "Good boy. Sweet dreams," before getting back into the ring. You can't teach that kind of instinct to taunt the opponent.

A lot of indie matches have the "boo-yay" volley where guys trade strikes all punch drunk to the differing reactions of the crowd. This match had its own variant of that trade-off, only both men were on the canvas, struggling to get up even on their knees let alone feet. It was so well done. The finish, with Steamboat gaining the deciding fall to put himself up 2-1 with 8 seconds left on an inside cradle reversal, was very well-timed and felt organic. This would be the first match these two would have in a series that spanned for the rest of the winter, but if you seek this match out, you get the entire gist of the series.

Kyle Matthews vs. Maxwell Chicago, Kiefer Classic, 1/29
Watch it here!

Great matches aren’t always chock full of innovative stuff. Sometimes, it’s the classic, well-worn tropes that can deliver when they’re executed excellently, with a new coat of paint if you will. Maxwell Chicago is a guy who wrestles in a tuxedo and is borderline incompetent at the wrestles. He stalls, he complains to the referee, he stooges, he falls over punch drunk after getting the 10-punch in the corner. At one point, he had Matthews down for three consecutive one-counts, then turned to the ref and exclaimed “ONE ONE ONE EQUALS THREE!” It was delightful and amusing. Of course, he wasn’t the only star in this match; Kyle Matthews is one of the most able and versatile stars in wrestling today, and his acumen at getting the crowd behind him, playing that crowd, and working those same tried-and-true good guy comebacks, mixing in some modern indie sensibilities at the same time. For all the basicness of his offense though, I really dug Chicago’s finisher, a springboard back leaping Ace crusher. It was enough to put finality on the match even though Chicago spent most of it getting his tuxedoed ass handed to him.

Photo Credit: Wayne Palmer/DDS

Mickie Knuckles (c) vs. Sara del Rey, AIW Women's Championship Match, AIW Girls' Night Out 5, 1/29
Originally published in my review for Girls' Night Out 5

Mickie Knuckles and Sara del Rey capped off the night with a strong, emotionally-charged main event that felt like the richest prize in the company was on the line. It was a match that had a little bit of everything and it told a neat story that worked for everyone even if the only knowledge of the history between the women was told to them during the actual match.

It was a match that had something for everyone. It had mat work, comedy, stiffness, antics and even an interlude on the microphone where del Rey, quickly becoming one of the most popular wrestlers on the independent scene, made sure that the fans wouldn't cheer her and instead be behind the local hero Knuckles. During the promo, an in-character del Rey said that Knuckles used to be her equal. During the match, the Champion showed that she certainly still was.

The biggest sign of quality happened on a misstep towards the end of the match. Knuckles was trying to do a move in the corner that would've sent del Rey crashing into the turnbuckle, but in the process, she virtually gave herself a powerbomb. Other times in the night, there have been places where a botch happened and the match participants just continued to go about their business as if it didn't happen. Knuckles and del Rey worked it into the match and it was amazing. Some people think that a botch happens and OH MY GOD DEDUCT TWO STARS FROM THE MATCH! UNACCEPTABLE! In a way, I kinda hope that things end up getting jiggered (not seriously, obviously), because that's real life, and the really great wrestlers handle it in a way that enhances the match. That's what happened here.

Tyler Cook (c) vs. SBC, Falls Count Anywhere in Kansas NWA Kansas Championship Match, Metro Pro TV, 2/4
Watch it here!

Pro wrestling is great when it’s absurd. I don’t care what anyone says, I like seeing fish out of water when the rasslin is on. If I see a dude in a bar fight trying to Irish whip a guy into the wall, I will piss my pants laughing as long as I’m actually not one of the ones fighting. But watching SBC whip Cook into a brick wall on the outside of Turner Rec Center and then roll him up on the concrete ground with a school boy didn’t make me laugh derisively. If any laughter came from my person, it was giddiness, excitement. As far as crazy brawls, that moment was the punctuation on a brouhaha that went from the ring to the stands to the concessions to outside back into the ring area where SBC would win with a heaping helping of interference from his buddies Jeremy Wyatt and Mark Sterling. Schmozz finish aside though, it’s very hard to hate on a match with a suplex on top of bleachers, tossing a dude over the concession table, two separate trash can tosses, and yes, most importantly, the school boy off slamming a dude into a brick wall. About the only thing the match was missing was a cross-state convoy that somehow involved them ending up with a near fall six hours west in Goodland. But then again, I guess they didn’t have all night.

Mike Posey (c) vs. Kyle Matthews, NWA All-Out Championship, NWA Pro South House Show, 2/10
Watch it here!

This match was nitty-gritty pro wrestling personified. The arena was dimly lit, the match was shot on a handheld camera and the only noises emanated from the crowd, which was vociferously behind Matthews, the challenger here. It was really everything that's great about seedy pro wrestling in local hub arenas, only with two guys that looked to me like they belonged on a bigger stage on the basis of their talent. Matthews was a pro selling his arm all match. Posey kept going back to it, and Matthews integrated it seamlessly into his whole repertoire for maximum reaction. Posey actually had some neat offense here too. I've seen cutters done to kneeling wrestlers, but to a wrestler on all fours? That was some crazy shit. The spot of the match was when Posey had Matthews in the tree of woe and went for a leaping, springboard wraparound dropkick that he missed, crotching himself on the ringpost. It was an insane bump, one of the best ones I've seen. Both these guys should be on all promoters' radars, but they won't, because the South is criminally ignored. However, that's what God created YouTube for. God created YouTube, right?

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Mia Yim and ACH vs. Darin Childs and Angel Blue vs. Athena and Davey Vega vs. Gregory James and Rachel Summerlyn, ACW The Show Goes On Pre-Show, 2/19
Watch it here!

Yes, this was the infamous Yoga Pants Party match. It was sexualized from jump, and none of the competitors shied away from that fact, male or female. There were ass slaps. The women did yoga in the opening stages of the match (well, three of them did yoga, Angel Blue tried to with hilarious results). There were booty pops. But even without context, this isn’t your normal sexy time match. The girls arguably hit harder than the boys. The sexy tropes were used for effect in the matches to the point where it seemed to poke fun at how WWE uses them. Summerlyn went for the booty pop moonsault, but she ended up getting rolled up by Athena. The stink face was followed up by a hard butt thump in the corner. ACW plays with a lot of the more unsavory parts of wrestling and uses them to elevate the artform into something better, and this match may have been the pinnacle of that subversion.

Portia Perez vs. Rachel Summerlyn, Tournament Semifinal, 2CW Girls Grand Prix, 2/24
Originally published in my review for Girls Grand Prix

It's a match that is as Texas as brisket, cowboys, and football, but there was something about the semifinal between Portia Perez and Rachel Summerlyn happening in New York that breathed new life in their rivalry. Lesser wrestlers might have just gone at it without giving the crowd a reason to believe they hated each other. Summerlyn and Perez though? Yeah, they don't roll like that. Summerlyn mocking Perez's stalling elicited a loogie from the diminutive Canadian Ninja, and the two-woman riot began.

In typical fashion between the two wrestlers, there was plenty of lightheartedness mixed in, mostly from Summerlyn's end. Obviously, someone as free-spirited as the Queen of Anarchy is has to keep things light, which is why her breaking out a prosthetic foot and a VIKING HAT as weapons was not only awesome but totally a propos to her character. Some people just "get" pro wrestling. Summerlyn was born to be a pro wrestler, and she proves it every time out. Of course, she wouldn't be nearly as awesome in this match if she didn't have her mortal rival to pinball around the guardrail. Perez was just as awesome on the brawling-on-the-outside portion. It also can't be stated enough how great Bryce was during this match. A lesser referee might have just stayed in the ring and counted. Bryce, working in the context that this tourney should have a winner, tried to shovel the action back into the ring, but kept his distance when things got hot and heavy.

Bryce would play into the finish as well, as Perez argued with him over some kind of call he made. This allowed Summerlyn to drill her in the back with a lariat that sent Perez flying to the ground in a visually stunning bump. Summerlyn may have advanced right after with her Texas Cloverleaf, but everyone was a winner in this match. Maybe Perez wasn't technically a winner, but hey, she played her role smashingly.

Sara del Rey vs. Archibald Peck, Chikara A Death Worse Than Fate, 2/25
Originally Published in my review for A Death Worse Than Fate

This was a smorgasbord of wrestling goodness that legitimately had something for almost everyone. It had opening silliness for fans of comedy. It had del Rey selling her stomach for the fans of psychology. It had del Rey breaking out the upper-lip fishhook AND Peck locking in the stomach claw for fans of arcane submission holds. Veronica interfering and Peck attempting the baton whack scratched the itch for cheating heel stuff. del Rey's school girl of Peck into the bottom turnbuckle had your innovative offense. Both competitors had great facial expressions throughout the match, the best being Peck's sulk face in the beginning.

Seriously, for a match between two people who had no prior quarrel with each other, this turned out to be one fantastic exercise in storytelling. I've noted this before, but it bears repeating that I want to see a rematch. Hell, I would've liked a whole series before del Rey went to WWE to train the lasses down in NXT. Then again, both are mentioned every time someone asks who the best in the world is, so there's that.

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

ACH (c) vs. TJ Perkins, ACW Anarchy Championship Match, St. Louis Anarchy Gateway to Danarchy, 2/25
Originally published in my review for Gateway to Danarchy

It's not that hard to make me like a match. Just throw me a few bones here and there, and I'm good. But how do you construct a match of the year candidate? How do you connect with everyone, whether live or watching on delay on tape? You make everything you do in the match seem important. You attack with urgency.

In this match, the main event of the first half of the card so to speak, ACH and Perkins made everything matter. You could see it in every motion, none of which were wasted. Most wrestlers take the feeling-out process to be garden variety, but not Perkins or ACH here. They went full bore from the beginning, and they had answers for each other throughout the match. It wasn't one of those trite, "hey, I kick you, you kick me" things that Davey Richards is famous for either. Everything made sense.

Whether it was Perkins answering ACH's DBZ thrust with a lightning fast superkick or the sequence at the end where ACH shrugged off another kick and was able to break out the pin, everything worked. It was visceral in its speed. It felt like they were really engaged in an athletic contest. That's the most you can ask for in any wrestling match.

Matt Cage, Joey O'Riley and Alex Castle vs. Colt Cabana, Luke Gallows and Cliff Compton, IWA Unlimited TV, 2/29 (airdate)
Watch it here!

This match was part of Cabana's "Wrestling Road Diaries 2" tour, and it was a great match for reasons that you might not think of at first. Cabana has made his bones as a lovable babyface who relishes his role as the underdog, or at the very least, hamming it up for crowd support. He does no such thing here, as he and his cohorts played the role of big time sports entertainers going against the local heroes, acting like they were below them. It made for a great comeback segment, including some of the best shit-eating by Cabana that I've ever seen in a match. Everyone in this match was great, but Cabana's big shot shtick was the real eye opener for me here.

Bo Rotundo vs. Kassius Ohno vs. Antonio Cesaro, FCW House Show, 3/2
Watch it here!

It was jarring seeing the Kings of Wrestling in the same match with another wrestler and not having them tagging together. But under their newly-delivered NXT Name Generator appellations, they were pitted against each other as well as Bo Rotundo on this fan-cam shot house show in Kissimee, FL. They nodded towards their prior, elseworldly alliance early, taking it to Rotundo with their patented teamwork, but that soon evaporated when Cesaro thought to get a cheap roll up on Ohno. This was very much a typical WWE triple threat in that most of the action was between two of the three competitors with the third on the outside, Rotundo usually as the odd man out.

However, the match didn’t play out with the third guy being ignored as it tends to happen in most of them. Any time the third man got on the apron, he was picked off or at least there was an attempt to pick him off. The action was exceedingly fluid and felt natural, and Rotundo’s babyface comeback in the final act had good fire behind it. His spear could use a little work, but it did the job, finishing off Ohno and allowing Cesaro to yank Rotundo out of the ring so he could snake the pin.

Jeremy Wyatt (c) vs. ACH, NWA Central States Championship, Metro Pro TV, 3/3
Watch it here!

Their first match was good, but this one, the sequel? It was blowaway fantastic. Seriously, you had Wyatt as the sleazy, swarthy heel jerkbag Champion, demanding that if ACH lost this one, he had to go to the back of the line. Then you had the cocksure, athletic and mind-blowing challenger in ACH. It was the perfect combo. Wyatt, who looks like Will Ferrell in that sketch where he's nude-modeling for cash, is just the perfect kind of foil for ACH, almost like a beefier, less hairy Gary Jay. I think ACH showed off his skill at facial expressions in this match better than anyone I've seen this year. Some of the stuff they did, moves-wise, was pretty crazy too. I have to give Wyatt a lot of props for knowingly whiffing on a spear to the outside. That's a crazy bump. The cheap finish was warranted and well-done too.

Jeremy Wyatt (Central States c) vs. Bull Schmitt (Metro Pro c), Double Championship Match, Metro Pro TV, 3/3
Watch it here!

Without context, this was a glorified squash match. However, thanks to both the announcers and to the visual evidence, the match was revealed to have layers. Schmitt, the valiant Metro Pro Champion, entered the match with his arm injured. Wyatt, the cheap dick Central States Champion, attacked it from jump. The entire match was a physical referendum on Schmitt’s arm. Every comeback felt important, and because of that, every time Wyatt quashed said comeback, it felt impactful. Wyatt went full-tilt on his crossface to finish the match, taking time to drag Schmitt to the center of the ring, wailing on his injured arm with elbows. Even though the finish was never seemingly in doubt, this contest had high drama and a taut conclusion.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Kevin Steen vs. Jimmy Jacobs, ROH 10th Anniversary Show, 3/4
I went into the match feeling bad for Jacobs, and came out of it as a bigger fan of his than I ever was. The New York crowd totally shit all over the unveiling of his Age of the Fall jacket by sitting on their hands for it. Whether it's because they didn't know or because they didn't care, it was a shame, because it made a powerful statement, that Jacobs wasn't playing with Wrestling's Worst Nightmare wearing kid gloves, or in this case, a child's jacket. We've come to expect the kind of carnage and bloodshed from Steen that he brought here, and Jacobs kept up with him blow for blow, especially on the outside of the ring. The finish of the match was a masterful stroke of storytelling, with Jacobs going for the killshot on Steen with his railroad spike, only to have a moment of humanity overcome him, allowing Steen to move in for his own finishing stroke. This is the kind of wrestling I want to see in ROH's main event scene.

Kana and LuFisto vs. Hailey Hatred and Kalamity, SHIMMER Vol. 45, 3/17
This felt like a 20 minute match condensed into half the time, but with the wrestlers involved, it strangely enhanced the match rather than made it feel rushed. It was concentrated insanity, punctuated most by the jousting Kalamity and Lufi did from their rear ends on the canvas with their legs. The referee couldn’t keep control of the match with illegal members of the match running in making endless saves. I didn’t want the match to end when Hatred planted Lufi with her signature running Liger Bomb, but alas, as all good things do, this one had to have a finish. Hopefully, they’ll get 20 minutes the next time they meet, preferably as the main event of their own volume with the Tag Championships on the line.

Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Athena vs. Mercedes Martinez, SHIMMER Vol. 45, 3/17
Originally published in my review for SHIMMER Vol. 45

There's something to be said about being able to engender hate through only encounters in the wrestling ring. Anyone can pull off a feud where the main interests despise each other for actions that take place separate of the action in the ring. The match in and of itself is the catharsis, the resolution of the hit-and-run, cuckolding, or the spilling of hot coffee. But what about when you take a series of matches and build a story just from what goes on in the ring? That's wrestling in its purest form. That's Athena vs. Mercedes Martinez.

Even though I came in on this series in the third and ostensibly final act, I could have gotten the gist of what was going on even without the recaps. You don't go to the outside and attempt to inflict grievous bodily harm through usage of the metal barricades for someone you're embroiled in a professional rivalry with. Martinez, from choking the life out of Athena with her own t-shirt to trying to launch her into the legions of Berwyn faithful who had, in her mind, turned their backs on her, displayed the kind of loathing that really sinks in deep. Athena knew she was in the fight for her life. After all, Martinez tried to injure her outside the confines of the match. So why not fire back with every mode of escalation without resorting to things that would cost her what she had been craving in the first two encounters anyway?

Nestled into this war that primarily was waged outside of the ring was probably one of the best displays offensive prowess I've seen from Athena, who proved she's as much the rockstar as her theme song suggests. There were the two O-Faces, including the one where she launched herself from the apron, her most impressive one yet. Then there was the stump DDT to the floor from the barricade. Martinez took her lumps and fired back accordingly. Still, she fell on her sword, and Athena was a made wrestler by the end of the affair.

Honorable Mentions:

• Damien Sandow vs. Leo Kruger, FCW TV, 1/1 (airdate)
• CM Punk (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler, WWE Championship Match, RAW, 1/2
• Sami Callihan (c) vs. Rich Swann, CZW World Junior Heavyweight Championship Match, CZW An Excellent Adventure, 1/14
• Player Uno and Stupefied vs. Chuck Taylor and Rich Swann, EVOLVE 10, 1/14
• Sami Callihan vs. Bobby Fish, EVOLVE 10, 1/14
• Athena (c) vs. Lillie Mae vs. Angel Blue, ACW American Joshi Championship Match, ACW Guilty by Association 6, 1/15
• ACH (c) vs. Gary Jay, Anarchy Championship Match, ACW Guilty by Association 6, 1/15
• Sami Callihan vs. Rich Swann vs. Alex Colon, MCW Rage TV, 1/18 (airdate)
• Adam Cole vs. Roderick Strong, ROH Homecoming, 1/20
• Jesus Kruze vs. Johnny Plinko, Devil Mountain Wrestling Show, 1/21
• Mat Fitchett vs. BJ Whitmer, AAW Chaos Theory, 1/27
• Samuray del Sol and TD Thomas vs. Christian Able and Josh Raymond, AAW Chaos Theory, 1/27
• Hallowicked vs. Archibald Peck, Chikara The Thirteenth Hat, 1/28
• 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Vordell Walker, Pro Wrestling Xtreme Show, 1/28
• Tony Nese vs. Adam Cole, FTW Wrestling Showdown on Queens Blvd., 1/28
• Davey Richards and Harry Smith vs. Matt and Nick Jackson, PWG Kurt RussellReunion 3, 1/29
• Mascarita Dorada, Candice LaRae, B-Boy, and Cedric Alexander vs. Joey Ryan, Pretty Peter Avalon, Ray Rosas, and DEMUS 316, PWG Kurt RussellReunion 3, 1/29
• Mia Yim vs. Allysin Kay, AIW Girls' Night Out 5, 1/29
• CM Punk (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler, WWE Championship Match, Royal Rumble, 1/30
• Cameron Thomas vs. Brian Caige, Ultimate Wrestling Show, 2/4
• Jeremy Wyatt, Mark Sterling, and SBC vs. Trevor Murdoch, Matt Murphy, and Bull Schmitt, Metro Pro TV, 2/4
• Sami Callihan vs. DJ Hyde, CZW 13th Anniversary Show, 2/11
• Harry Smith (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero, PWA Championship Match, PWA Fruition, 2/18
• Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk, Smackdown, 2/21
• Allysin Kay vs. Sara del Rey, 2CW Girls Grand Prix First Round Match, 2CW Girls Grand Prix, 2/24
• Mia Yim vs. Mercedes Martinez, 2CW Girls Grand Prix First Round Match, 2CW Girls Grand Prix, 2/24
• Brodie Lee vs. Jigsaw, Chikara A Death Worse Than Fate, 2/25
• Michael Elgin vs. Evan Gelistico, St. Louis Anarchy Gateway to Danarchy, 2/25
• Seth Rollins vs. Rick Victor, FCW TV, 2/26 (airdate)
• Colt Cabana vs. UltraMantis Black, Chikara Caught in a Spider's Den, 2/26
• Davey Vega vs. Michael Barry, Metro Pro TV, 3/3
• AJ Cruise (c) vs. Mikaze, CTWE Shooting Star Championship Match, CTWE March to Madness IV, 3/10
• Cheerleader Melissa (c) vs. Nicole Matthews, SHIMMER World Championship Match, SHIMMER Vol. 45, 3/17

History in the making, best in the world? Photo Credit: Michael Perez/Associated Press

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - In the act of retiring, Jerry Lynn transferred all his powers among his students for their usage, and now, with the power of Chippendale bowtie and THE CRADLE PILEDRIVER, I can't see how anyone can stop Summerlyn.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - I would have ranked him number one if he had made fun of Big E. Langston for wearing a 2T-sized child's onesie as ring gear.

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - I didn't want to dock him for getting hurt, but I am going to dock him for not eating Vickie Guerrero and using Teddy Long as a toothpick on RAW last week. No one announces Mark Henry's WrestleMania match except Mark Henry. NO ONE.

4. Florida Gulf Coast University Men's Basketball Team (Last Week: Didn't Exist Not Ranked) - The first 15 seed to make it into the Sweet 16? Naw, that's not why they're here. They do a mean funky chicken.

5. Adam Cole (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The handsome rapscallion escaped Reseda with his World Championship with a handful of tights and pocket full of sunshine. No word on whether Drake Younger drove him back east with chase music. I have no idea why I went there with this. Just trust me on this one.

6. The Lithuanian Snow Troll (Last Week: Not Ranked) - AND THE BALTIC SIEGE IS COMPLETE! I have to say, very impressive choice to round out the group. I approve.

7. Hummus (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Such a versatile snack food. You can eat it with vegetables, chips, spread it on sandwiches, and it comes in several different varieties.

8. assailANT (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He took home all the potassium by beating Mark Angelosetti at Wrestling Is Fun! The funniest thing? His finisher is called the GTS, which stands for "Get The Sugar."

9. Bully Ray (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Bully Ray should teach classes on how to enact a secret plan for [insert scope here] domination, especially to every James Bond villain who ever existed.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: If you don't submit a TWB 100 ballot, Sara del Rey will cut you.

John Cena finally dropped the kernel. He finally gave our kind of meta-fan the thing that many among our group have been craving for the longest time. He teased going bad. The surprising thing was in his execution. He did it so well. So so so well. Cena has coasted for an entire year it seems. It seems it has been the worst year of his career, but only this sort of metaphysical observation. But tonight, he transformed. Not only did he tease bad, but he became a master villain. And all he had to do was mention Donovan McNabb in Philly and then yell at the Rock like it pained him to show arrogance and cocksurety. It's something that the WrestleMania main event needed so bad, especially given that we've had three weeks of recaps because Rocky wasn't there.

RAW was sneaky tonight with its build, but it was a very meaty show. On the surface, it was a bunch of filler matches. That could be an exceedingly good thing, and there were at least two matches that were noteworthy (Ziggler/Jericho and Hell No/Prime Time Players), but they finally broke out with the Chris Jericho/Fandango match, which I think can be goddamn awesome actually, and started teasing AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn.

But let's talk about Kaitlyn, because I think she broke the Ziggler Scale tonight. First, Lee tossed her into the water fountain backstage, which was nasty in and of itself. But when she whiffed on the spear and went into the guardrail, I think she might have pegged on the Ziggler Scale. I'm not sure, but then again, maybe I'm not used to seeing the "delicate flowers" of the Divas Division take that kind of bump, but it was definitely refreshing. Even more refreshing? WE might be looking at the culmination of a long term story that had roots in the old version of NXT. The fact that it's a story involving women is just mind-blowing at this point.

This show dragged at a few spots, but it was the kind of show we needed two weeks out from WrestleMania. There was a lot of build, good wrestling, but most importantly, there was that hook. Cena had the devilish gleam in his eyes tonight. I would still bet against a heel turn at Mania, but I think now, more than ever, we might be getting evil Cena. Whether that's good or not, it's at the very least tantalizing.

They're not wrestling each other, but they're both in this region Photo Credit: Devin Chen

We're halfway through the round of 32. Here are the results from yesterday's action in the Turners Hall region:

#9 Tim Donst d. #1 John Cena, 50-29
#4 Jessicka Havok d. #5 Adam Cole, 43-27
#2 Daniel Bryan d. #7 Christopher Daniels, 69-9
#3 ACH d. #6 Bully Ray, 41-35

And now, today's matches in the American Legion region. First up, #1 Kevin Steen, who bested Courtney Rush last round, battles #8 AR Fox, who took out Jimmy Jacobs. They teased this singles match this past weekend at All-Star Weekend, but they settled for wrestling in a six man. Who will win in the singles match? Next up, #13 Kane, who upset The Big Show, takes on #12 Mark Henry, who took out Tucor and Jeff Hardy. This is a match that's as old as time in WWE it seems. Who wins this round?

Next up, #2 Austin Aries takes on #7 Cheerleader Melissa. A Double, who dispatched Jaykus Plisken, will find it tougher to do away with Melissa, who beat James Storm. Finally, #3 El Generico wrestles #11 Wade Barrett. Generico beat Kyle Matthews as expected, while Barrett upset The Rock. Will Generico's last hurrah under the mask be at the expense of the Intercontinental Champ?

VOTE

See that look? One might think AJ Lee was courting a young gentleman, watching a movie, talking on the phone with a friend, or doing something fun and frivolous. Instead, this was right after she moved out of the way of her ex-BFF and current Divas Champion Kaitlyn and let her slam into the guardrail so hard that it may have broken the Ziggler Scale. This was after she rammed her head into the water fountain backstage. Say what you want about how she's been booked, but AJ Lee is so deviously great at acting the part of a plotter and planner. The argument to have women as big a part of the show as men is one that exists regardless of performer, but when the best actor in the company is a woman? Well, then it not only makes WWE look sexist, but it makes them look awfully dumb too.

This is good, especially this year, but they need better company Photo Credit: WWE.com

I am not one of those people who is bent out of shape that The Rock is WWE Champion. I don't care that Brock Lesnar or Undertaker show up anywhere between one and three times in a given calendar year to wrestle, and one of them happens to be at WrestleMania. I'm more bent out of shape about Lesnar and Triple H wrestling, but that's more because I'm ready for Triple H to be so immersed in his COO duties that I never have to see him on camera crotch-chopping or kicking Wade Barrett in the junk ever again. It's cool to see guys show up once in awhile, pop in, and be like "Hey, I like wrestling and I like to wrestle!" It would be nice if they were all as good at the wrestles part as Chris Jericho is all the time, or at the story part as Undertaker is most of the time.

However, I get this nagging feeling sometimes that this year's Mania is a watershed moment in that it's now going to be the place where the guys who already made it as stars get to nab all the top matches, whether they be the current crop of guys like Rock, Lesnar, Jericho, Triple H, or Undertaker, or a whole new cadre of wrestlers who may or may not include Steve Austin, Batista, Sting, or Kurt Angle. It's great to have the open palette for Mania, but when the intake gets clogged too much with the people whose career is something other than professional wrestling, you start muddling the narrative.

It's not like WWE is a clean-running engine when it comes to its own internal storytelling anyway. There are examples each week of the spoken word saying one thing and the actions on the screen saying another. Cena is the clearest example with his "OVERCOME THE ODDS" character that hasn't had to overcome a single deck stacked against him since maybe, MAYBE, WrestleMania XX, and arguably, that was only because we didn't know he had it in him to whip Big Show in his sleep with relative ease. Sheamus as the face of their anti-bullying campaign out of the ring and being the biggest bully in the world inside of it was another good one. Oh, and how about "smart, sexy, powerful" Eve Torres who broke down in the middle of the ring crying to Cena because their fiendish plot was found out?

But if WWE takes away the kernel of the ultimate dream of any wrestler to headline WrestleMania, then what would the company be instead of a pit of lies? How can I, the viewer, be expected to be invested in any wrestler who isn't a part-timer or the upper echelon of the company (which right now, consists of two guys) to be a Mania main eventer? That question is actually disingenuous. I'm a full-service wrestling fan. I'm with WWE for the entire year, and so my favorites like Mark Henry, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, and Antonio Cesaro have my devotion whether they get The Rock in the main event or a random appearance in The World's Largest Harlem Shake.

However, it's not me that WWE has to worry about. I'm a wrestling fan, if we're going back to the K. Sawyer Paul model of nomenclature for what kinds of fans watch this wonderful art. It's the fans of characters and the fans of movements that they need to concern themselves with. The characters that people who only order Mania for aren't going to be around forever. What happens when Rock considers his story in WWE done or when he finds the grind of doing a bunch of movies a year PLUS wrestling part-time too much? What when Lesnar decides after WrestleMania XXXI that he's had his fill of the wrestling business in total and either retires to become Jimmy John's spokesman or tries a MMA comeback? They'll have to be replaced.

The fans of movements might not seem like they're there, but in all actuality, I almost feel like "watching WrestleMania" is a movement in and of itself, or at the very least, it's part of the pan-sports movement that has seen a lot of the more influential writers in the alternative sports media immersing themselves not only in the major stuff, but in nascent or underexposed sports in America like soccer, MMA, tennis, golf, and yes, professional wrestling (even if it's totally not a sport). Now, WWE can be happy with those people who order the event every year and not concern themselves with building up fans of their full year of goods and services, and they can do very well for themselves just doing that. However, I don't think I can reasonably expect the average person to drop an increasing amount of money on WrestleMania every year when the cards don't seem as special.

The key to keeping everyone happy, or at least attempting to keep everyone happy, is to keep the dream alive, to keep "main eventing WrestleMania" as not only THE goal for every wrestler on the roster, but one that is attainable for more full-time guys than CM Punk and John Cena. I don't mean to say that part-timer vs. part-timer matches or part-timer vs. Cena/Punk matches aren't viable. Fuck, Punk/Rock to me is the only choice to headline Mania XXX next year. I'm also not saying to PUSH EVERYBODY, because when that happens, you get 1998 WWF, and the last person's plan of action to emulate should be Vince Russo's.

But there needs to be the dream to stay alive for wrestlers to be in big time main event-level matches at WrestleMania. I don't know whether it should be Bryan, Ziggler, Ryback, or whomever next year. I just know that someone fresh to the upper upper echelon has to have a big-time match (and no, a World Heavyweight Championship match against either Jack Swagger or Alberto del Rio does not count at this point). WrestleMania is a special event because the legends come out. They always have. However, at what point does WWE need to start cycling in new guys into the firmament?

If they were smart, it would be next year, and they would be regular about it. I'm not saying WWE has to do it OR ELSE ARMAGEDDON, but man, it would be nice for the narrative to be whole, not to feel like I was watching one show from May to December, and a whole other one for WrestleMania season.

This post was inspired a lot by Episode 77 of the International Object podcast. Listen to it, and by God, subscribe to them already, geez.

IT BEGINS

No Holds Barred Career Threatening Match
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman)

How: Paul Heyman got Triple H to sign a contract with a blind stipulation in it as the only way Lesnar would accept his challenge.

The Story:THIS BUSINESS

Analysis: I give no fucks about this match at all, so there's your thoughts on it.

Who Should Win: Brock Lesnar, because fuck Triple H.

Who Will Win: Triple H, because fuck Triple H.

Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Here are the next 20 matches in the top 100 list for 2012. We last left off with SHIMMER vol. 45, so naturally, we pick right back up with the taping that happened the same that day. March and April were very heavy with good wrestling, but they usually are the months when the best shows tend to happen. WrestleMania doesn't always generate the best matches, but the events that happen around it, sometimes in indirect conjunction with it? Yeah, they can produce some gems. Here we go:

Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada (c) vs. Kalamity and Hailey Hatred, SHIMMER World Tag Team Championship Match, SHIMMER Vol. 46, 3/17
Originally published in my review for SHIMMER Vol. 46

The tag match on Vol. 45 between the challengers here and the team of Kana and LuFisto was balls-out crazy intense, and even though I felt it short, I wasn't sure any two teams could have kept that pace up for longer than what they did. Then the SHIMMER Tag Team Champions stepped in and showed everyone that they weren't to be underestimated. As if being compared to Lufi and Kana is a bad thing, but hey, when you go big rather than go home, it's good that the two you're upstaging are two of the best in the world.

If the pace in that aforementioned match was breakneck, the one here was absolutely decapitating. Oh man, it was like none of these four wrestlers wanted to even know what taking a breather was. Okay, there were a few submission spots, but it was strike after strike, dodges as the form of defense, counters heaped upon counters, untagged saves whether they were preemptive or reactive. I think I got a bit woozy while watching this.

And yeah, seeing the three thicker competitors speeding through this match like they were on Adderall, it bears noting that Kurihara, the smallest wrestler by far, may have been its standout performer. I mean, usually, when someone busts out the casadora, it takes a little while to get balanced and figure out where they're going with it. Kurihara just as quickly as she split herself into the grasp of Hatred swung into the roll-up pin. That was impressive, just a smidge more impressive as her flattening Kalamity with the high-angle uranage suplex for the win. Amazing, amazing stuff.

Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada (c) vs. Ray and Leon, SHIMMER World Tag Team Championship Match, SHIMMER Vol. 47, 3/18
Short reason why this match is on here: I felt like I needed a cigarette afterwards.

Long reason as to why the SHIMMER Tag Team Championship match made the list is a bit more detailed than that description, although it was true. Even though I watched it months after the fact on DVD, I felt a bit winded after watching these four joshis hit gears that most wrestlers don’t even come close to discovering. Just when I thought that there was going to be a respite in the action, oops, there goes another counter, or there goes another kick to the goddamn skull, or hey, dueling submission holds! Traditional American wrestling dictates that there should be cooldown periods in a match, and I generally appreciate them. But even at such a blistering pace, I can dig purely athletic contests where if you don’t knock your opponent out or get the most leverage on a pin, well, they’ll come back with their limit break, especially when the competitors in the match are sold to me as the cream of the crop.

Of course, there are two ways I can be cued in on what kind of standing the performers are in. I can be told, or I can be shown. I’ve seen Hamada and Kurihara enough times to know that they have the pedigree, and obviously, they showed me again in this match, although the real stars were in defeat. Ray cartwheeled on the top rope. Read that again, she fucking cartwheeled on what amounted as a tightrope, so she could do a kick (and she did it twice!). Her signature move is snatching the victim out of a straight cartwheel and hitting her with a power bomb, which she did here. The only person I’ve ever seen hit harder with a spear than Leon was Goldberg, and that includes a bunch of people who have size on the diminutive looking-but-big hitting joshi. I’m not sure this match is for everyone, but I’m not everyone. It certainly was the best kind of “I hit you, you hit me” match I’ve seen all year.

Tyson Kidd vs. Justin Gabriel, Superstars, 3/29 (airdate)
This was one of the best six-minutes-or-fewer sprints that I've seen in a good long time. The two work so well together in athletic type counter-fests, but two spots here for me put this over the top. First, during the aforementioned counter-fest, Gabriel subtly tripped up a leapfrogging Kidd. I love simple counters to basic wrestling movements like that. Moments later, Kidd gave Gabriel a side Russian leg sweep into the guard barrier, which was a way sicker bump than what you'd normally find in a short Superstars match on the week before WrestleMania. The finish was nice too, even if it looked slightly sloppy. That being said, sloppiness doesn't hurt if it looks like a "real" struggle or if it's "fight-like".

Ricochet vs. Mike Cruz, DGUSA Heat, 3/29
Watch it here!

As far as sprints between two flippy guys go, you could do a lot worse than this match. The contest started out slow, as these kinds of things are wont to do, but once it heated up, man, did it heat up. Both guys were clean and slick with their exchanges midway through, but then in the home stretch, they started throwing bombs. Ricochet went to the ropes for a springboard back elbow that Cruz caught and countered with lightning quickness into a stiff, snap German suplex. I think if you’re not going to get a whole lot of time, your signature spot has to be abrupt since you can’t really build to one as easily. Ricochet’s Mind Trip-shooting star press combo to finish the match was a good put down. Great, low-card scrap that really put Cruz on my radar, which was probably the intent.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Drew McIntyre vs. Zack Ryder, Smackdown, 3/30 (airdate)
I've wanted to see Zack Ryder get a shot in longer matches, and in the last Smackdown before WrestleMania, I got that wish. He's in there with Drew McIntyre, one of the best in-ring guys WWE has. Drew is so methodical with his offense, and Ryder played off of it very well. The best part for me was when McIntyre had Ryder down on the canvas and hit him with a boot scrape across the face. It was the epitome of brutality. McIntyre took Ryder's signature spots really well too. I loved his reaction after taking the Broski Boot. This was the kind of match that we'd usually have gotten on Superstars around that time or on Main Event now, which is a compliment.

Gunner vs. Kyle Matthews, DSCW House Show, 3/30
Watch it here!

Clichés are clichés because there’s a ringing of truth to them. The “David vs. Goliath” battle is as much a wrestling cliché as any of them, but when it’s done right, it’s sublime. Matthews vs. Gunner at this Deep South show was the textbook definition of one, even if in the end, Goliath won this one. The match started out with a show of respect between the two competitors, but as we’d learn, the respect would only be mutual as long as Gunner was in control.

Once upon a time, Gunner, as Phil Shatter, was a Georgia indie standout who ended up catching the eye of Impact Wrestling. The man underwhelmed on Spike TV, but watching him here, I’m beginning to think it was the company’s fault and not his own. He assumed the role of the bully so well here, from the moment when Matthews got his first advantage and he stopped wanting to shake hands until the finish. Working big is an art, and Gunner had it on lockdown this match. It also speaks to how well Matthews played the underdog. Then again, we all knew that, at least those of us who follow him on the Tubes or read this blog.

The match itself was chock-full of tasty nuggets. Matthews has one of the best enzugiris in the biz, one that was prominently on display in this match. Gunner busted out some feats of strength himself, nearly deadlifting Matthews onto his shoulders towards the end. Maybe my favorite spot of the match was in the beginning, in the feeling out process even. Matthews countered Gunner into a grounded headscissors, to which Gunner escaped by kipping up. It felt almost like a throwaway sequence, but I thought they pulled it off so well. It’s the little things, sometimes, but they only are memorable if the big things are also done well, which was the case here.

CM Punk (c) vs. Mark Henry, WWE Championship Match, RAW, 4/2
The main complaint about the Punk/Jericho match from Mania was that Punk didn't sell the back enough. Well, he did, it was just a day later against Henry. This was an epic match on both ends. It was a classic war of attrition. Punk threw everything at Henry, but Henry kept firing back with his full thrust. Every time Henry picked Punk off mid-air, it was an "oh sh..." moment. When Punk finally took Henry off his feet, it actually felt like an appropriate crescendo. The best bump of the match, Henry dumping Punk to the outside, actually led to the countout finish. On the surface, it was a letdown, but at the same time, it was the RAW after Mania, protected both Henry and Punk and set up for another match down the road, even if the post-match angle set up a rematch with Jericho. Little did we know Henry would be on his way out of the company for an extended period of time, robbing us of a prolonged program between the two. But hey, at least we did get one more match out of it.

Screen Grab Credit: SMVOD

Hailey Hatred vs. John Thorne, AIW Straight Outta Compton, 4/6
They really didn't waste time getting into the shit here, did they? Thorne greeted Hatred with a kick to the boobs and a spike to the head. She showed color really early in the match, but she wore it well. She must have learned in Japan. Of course though, the woman who'd conquered the JWP would fire back with some offense of her own, culminating in her sitting on Thorne's back, smiling and holding up a sign Colin Delaney had made earlier that said "WWE Superstar." How appropriate, since she should be making big bucks (although she certainly doesn't need WWE's restraints they'd put on her because she's a woman). Hardcore matches sometimes can cross a line, but this match did a good job straddling it, even with Hatred slamming a barbed wire-wrapped 2x4 into Thorne's crotch at one point. I don't care who you are or how worked a match is; it takes courage to risk genital mutilation in the name of professional wrestling. It is to be commended.

ACH vs. AR Fox, 30 Minute Iron Man Match, AIW Straight Outta Compton, 4/6
Originally published in my review for Straight Outta Compton

This match was supposed to feature Fox going up against Uhaa Nation. The two had a pretty intense feud in AIW, but when Nation got hurt 'Mania weekend in DGUSA, they had to scramble for a replacement. I am so glad they picked ACH and even gladder that they kept the 30 minute iron man stipulation, because this match was the rare one that deserved every allotted second it got. Here were two men who were known more for their aerial prowess going into the fray not only showing superior athletics and acrobatics, but outstanding psychology, pacing and a grasp of the moment.

The psychology came mostly at the end of the match. With the time winding down, the two started trading roll up and flash pin maneuvers to try and get the decisive pinfall that might win them the match. It wasn't just the fact that they were doing the pin attempts with the lightning quickness, but they showed great urgency as well. It's one thing for guys to trade roll ups and to have the announcers superimpose a narrative over it, but it's another for you to be able to see that even with the commentary muted. Both guys displayed frantic nature superbly. Then, when ACH got the final pin on the reversed Mahistrol, him going to the ropes and trying to run the clock out may have been my most favorite thing in any match this year to date. Fox trying to yank him from the ropes reeked of desperation. It was perfect, sublime.

But that isn't to say this match was all the kinds of things that you had to look for. There were some pretty goddamn fantastic spots in this match as well. You come to expect that from guys the caliber of ACH and Fox. These guys make their bones on doing mind-blowing shit that even Neo in The Matrix would be jealous of. My favorite athletic thing they did in the match was when Fox followed ACH out of the ring. ACH hurried over, tripped his legs out from under him, causing him to fall seated on the apron HARD. ACH then hit a bulldog lariat and I think I nearly went into apoplexy. It's hard for me to pick out every good thing in this match, because I'd just be transcribing it verbatim. This match needs to be seen to be experienced fully. I am doing it no justice at all.

Kekoa vs. Bobby Fish, ECWA Super 8 Tournament First Round Match, ECWA Super 8, 4/7
Originally published in my review for ECWA Super 8.

Everyone knows Fish can bring it in the ring. People have seen the Danielson and Callihan matches, but they were products of the EVOLVE environment. Some might call them sterile. I wouldn't, but they were definitely more athletic contests between serious wrestlers. From even his ring entrance, coming in to the "Imperial March" from Empire Strikes Back and taunting fans in the front rows, Fish was dedicated to being the bad guy for the evening.

And what a bad guy he was. He heeled it up in ways that I didn't even know he had in him. He yelled at fans, taunted them and then using his superior ring talents to further his agenda, worked over Kekoa's knee relentlessly. The local hero had his hurdle that he had to surmount, and for a time, it looked like he was going to climb that mountain and take out Fish. Wincing in pain even during his comebacks, Kekoa showed me that he was ready for prime time. Alas, the Flyin' Hawaiian succumbed to Fish's deadly kneebar as many do, but he left an impression on me that he definitely belongs in the discussion when it comes to great wrestlers.

But yeah, Fish was the story here. The technical side and the moves and the intensity are all only portions of a match. When you can engage the crowd, you get what pro wrestling is all about. Fish proved tonight that he's a complete pro wrestler, and that all he needs is a change in environment to emote some of that essential personality needed to become an all-timer.

Sam Shields and Chris Rockwell (c) vs. Matt Burns and Asylum vs. Damian Dragon and Matt Saigon, ECWA Tag Team Championship Match, ECWA Super 8, 4/7
So what happens when you put a stock modern indie-style tag team, the spiritual successors to TeknoTeam 2000 (although a rapidly improved version of them) and a kitschy team of Canadian bruisers with the best ironic ring gear ever into the same ring? Magic happens. While Fusion DS was an adequate team and the Midnight Sensations were really good, the unquestioned stars of this match were Asylum and Matt Burns, also known as the Flatliners. Why they aren't a tag team in WWE or at least TNA is beyond me.

Then again, if they were a tag team in either company, holy shit, they wouldn't be a tag team for much longer than it took for them to make the main roster. Then we'd be deprived of stuff like them completing each other's stall suplexes or doing roshambo for the "right" to do a plancha on four other weary dudes on the outside of the ring. Sure, this match had a ref bump and a run in from the most racially insensitive tag team this side of Mexican America in the Nigerian Nightmares, but hey, not even that could take away from the awesome that was the Flatliners going all Canada all over everyone's asses.

Jon and Trey Williams vs. Chip Day and Mike Posey, DSCW House Show, 4/7
Watch it here!

You say “Southern Tag Wrestling,” and images of the Rock ‘n Roll Express get conjured up. Ricky Morton getting his ass beaten before making the hottest of hot tags to clean house and get a big win. Good formulas work because they’re good formulas, duh. But every now and again, a formula could use a bit of freshening up. Enter the Washington Bullets and Jimmy Rave Approved. Jon Williams spent a good part of the opening of the match taking both members of Rave’s boys to the woodshed before going Ricky Morton so hard that he almost went cockeyed and grew a blond mullet. What made it a great heat segment though was how fresh the bad guys’ double team moves and offense in general were. At one point, with Jon seated in the corner, Posey ran at him on the apron, and Day charged from the floor, both hitting kicks to the badly-banged up brother in longer tights.

When Trey got into the ring, the place exploded. That crowd was probably a third smaller than most major indie crowds or even TNA crowds, and they knew how to react to a hot tag. Learn a lesson, folks. Anyway, after the Bullets were able to get some of their fun offense in, the match ended with a flurry of superkicks by the rudos and a well-placed referee distraction spot where Posey started arguing with the ref and just handed him off to Trey. Of course, Trey also ended up getting brained in the back of the head with a kick to eat the pin. Sometimes, you don’t need to cheat when the ref’s back is turned. Sometimes, you just need it to be able to double team one tag partner and tattoo the other one while he’s not looking.

Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty, WWE NXT, 4/11 (airdate)
I love matches where the ring is used as a weapon. I also love matches that are a contrast of styles between a big guy goin' CLUBBERIN and a spry guy doing high flying stuff all over the place. Obviously, I was a fan of this match with all that being said. McGillicutty had his brawling shoes on, and this clearly was the best match of his that I've seen. I loved when he countered a Kidd dropkick to the outside by pulling the ring skirt out and crotching him on it. That's one of the best developments of 2012, more people using the ring skirt as a weapon. Kidd using it later on in the match was a good bit of symmetry. I also loved the hell out of Kidd's new twist on the Sharpshooter. Just an inventive new submission hold to cap off a fine match on NXT.

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Matthew Palmer (c) vs. Rachel Summerlyn, World Hardcore Championship Match, ACW Peace, Love, and Anarchy, 4/15
Originally published in my review for Peace, Love, and Anarchy

Can it really be a good hardcore match if weapon usage was sparse and far between? The only time they really broke out a weapon was when Palmer teased the staple gun. Then again, ACW is about changing perceptions. The hardcore here wasn't about weapons, but it was about heights. I guess you could say the balcony at the Mohawk was the weapon. I'll get back to the balcony usage later, because that wasn't the whole story here.

To marginalize this match to that balcony is to discount all the work that Summerlyn and Palmer did to get to that level. There was mat wrestling, EXCELLENT mat wrestling, to start. Palmer did the sit ups during the figure four. Summerlyn had enough, got PISSED, and busted out her best WAR RACHEL scream while charging at Palmer. That was part of what made the match such a great affair.

But back to the balcony. Man, there was just so much to dissect from it. There was the tension of them battling on the way up. They traded shots and teased the leap and toss from it. The absolute shock on Summerlyn's face when Palmer NO-SOLD the first toss was just priceless. The way she just stood there in shock when he scaled back up and accepted her fate. I mean, it was epic theater. Epic, epic theater.

Robert Roode (c) vs. James Storm, Impact World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match, Lockdown, 4/15
I don’t remember how well this match was received when it actually happened. I can’t comment on how pissed people were that Storm didn’t win to get revenge for all the shit that Roode pulled on him in the last four months. Maybe not watching it until WELL after the fact, after Bound for Glory even, helped put the finish, which was a clever way to end a cage match, in perspective. The match didn’t technically start until after Storm was bloodied and Roode having taken a bunch of damage itself, but that was part of the mood-setting. Storm wasn’t playing the role of the cerebral assassin but as the revenge-crazed redneck looking to draw blood more than anything. That’s the only reason why he’d chase Roode outside the ring when he had no incentive to, right? Wouldn’t an outside brawl favor the Champion?

Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

Storm made more than a few questionable decisions in the name of revenge. If this were a shoot, him stopping from going over the hump on the cage and escaping just because Roode flipped him the bird would have elicited derisive laughter. Within the context of character, though, well, if you got flipped off by the guy who kept smashing beer bottles over your head, wouldn’t you want to fucking kill him? As much as his mistakes were fueled by revenge, Roode’s were fueled by hubris. He also had the match won, standing right at the precipice of the door, needing only to hop down and win, but instead, he made Earl Hebner hand him the beer bottle so he could smash it over Storm’s head one more time for good measure.

How appropriate that going into the final leadup to the finish that the only man left standing in the ring was Earl Hebner. Roode, Storm, and Hebner’s son, Brian (victim of a superkick eaten when Roode pulled him into Storm’s oncoming path)? Their war had become such a tempest of rage and hate that it claimed an innocent victim. Of course, it was a storm that was meant to continue, which is what made the accidental kick through the cage door work so well. Storm was so consumed by hate that he didn’t notice Roode was standing right between the apron and the cage door. In classic, Sisyphusian, TNA manner, the bad guy won and continued to frustrate the good guy. Catharsis was to be delayed for six more months. But as a finale to their second act? Well, I dug it.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

CM Punk (c) vs. Mark Henry, WWE Championship No Disqualification Match, RAW, 4/16
Just when you think that they couldn't come close to their original match two weeks prior, two of the best wrestlers in the world went out and did themselves one better across the pond. Both men brought their A-games to this match. Henry tossed Punk into the ringpost, and Punk did a guardrail walking leaping bulldog. The coup de grace was Henry catching Punk running off the apron and tossing him into the guardrail HARD. It looked like neither Henry nor Punk had any care in the world whether Punk lived or died on that. The crowd added so much to the match too. It really picked up in the second half of the match when the two were starting to get into the back-and-forth that is the trademark for most WWE main event matches. The chair-aided elbow to end the match was godly. Just godly. I wish these two could just wrestle every week, or at least let Henry and Dolph Ziggler take turns wrestling Punk.

Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma vs. Brian Cage-Taylor and Ryan Taylor, DDT4 First Round Match, PWG DDT4, 4/21
Originally published in my review for DDT4

The opening match sets the tone for the show most times. A lot of times, it's the slowest match, the one where the competitors feel out the crowd, see what floats, and end up building to a minor crescendo that acts as an appetizer for the meatier matches. The RockNES Monsters and Fightin' Taylor Boys took that formula, took a shit on it, and wiped their asses with the tickets.

The action started fast and furious, and it didn't stop until the match was over. There were planchas and pescados. There were suplexes and springboards. Cage-Taylor did squat thrusts on a vertical suplex attempt and hit both guys with a German at the same time. Yuma broke out what I think may have been the first ever fisherman's suplex out of nowhere. Double team moves all over the place. It was beautiful.

RockNES finished the match with a move they called Explosive Amnesia, but if you forget this match after watching it, there's something wrong with you. On what may have been the best complete card of the year, it was the opening match that shone the brightest.

Roderick Strong and Sami Callihan vs. El Generico and Willie Mack, DDT4 First Round Match, PWG DDT4, 4/21
Excalibur and Kevin Steen joked that the ring moved during this match with how hard the guys, Mack and Callihan especially, were going into the corners. I'm not sure they were completely joking. This may have been the hardest hitting match of the entire tournament, and a lot of it was due to Callihan, looking to make a mark in his PWG debut, moving like a cannonball on methamphetamines. I had to give it up to Mack though for taking maybe the most fearless bump of the entire tournament as well. HE let Roderick Strong drag his junk along the second rope. Worked or not, I'm not sure I'd have the courage to let anyone do that to me.

Eddie Kingston (c) vs. Kevin Steen, Chikara Grand Championship Match, Chikara Hot off the Griddle, 4/28
This match was three parts emotional brawl, one part Steen yukking it up to rile the pro-Chikara crowd, and two parts psychological selling. It wasn’t even your normal leg or arm either. Basically, Steen attacked Kingston’s hand, which was brilliant because of how it tied into Kingston’s offense. Even though it was third from the top, the match had a main event feel, which may or may not have been ruined by the finish from where you may have been sitting. Personally, in terms of it being a continuation of a feud that still had a half-a-year to go, I thought it was a perfect finish. Hell, even from a single-serve finish, it made so much sense. Steen knew he wasn’t kicking out of a second Backfist to the Future. Why go out on his shoulders when he could exact a final measure of humiliation despite his loss? I dug it.

Sara del Rey vs. El Generico, Chikara Hot off the Griddle, 4/28
Originally published in my Hot off the Griddle review

There are cases where the best match on the card is unexpected. There are also cases where the one you're expecting to rock the house does totally that. This is a case of the latter. I bought this show with the express interest of watching El Generico and Sara del Rey, two of the top five wrestlers on my 2011 TWB 100 ballot, work magic against each other, and I got just that. With the Grand Championship match proceeding the way it did, the absolute right call was to have this match close the show.

The match had all the big spots you'd come to expect from a Generico match, but I've noticed he's upped his grasp of psychology in 2012. Here, it manifested itself in his tentativeness slowly eroding away at the thought of having to violate societal norms by striking a woman, with del Rey playing her role as angry and disrespected competitor looking to be treated as an equal just as adeptly.

Add that in with Generico's flair for the dramatic and del Rey's pinpoint kicks (she may be the best striker in wrestling), and you have the formula for a fine main event, worthy of holding up Chikara's end of the bargain for the big doubleheader. While it turned out to be the kickoff of del Rey's farewell tour to the indies, making it bittersweet, it's still one of the best matches of 2012.

Honorable Mentions:

• Athena vs. Nicole Matthews, SHIMMER Vol. 46, 3/17
• Kana vs. Mercedes Martinez, SHIMMER Vol. 46, 3/17
• Player Uno and Stupefied vs. Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma vs. Matt and Nick Jackson, PWG World's Finest, 3/17
• Alex Koslov vs. Kyle O'Reilly, PWG World's Finest, 3/17
• El Generico (c) vs. Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards, PWG World Championship Match, PWG World's Finest, 3/17
• LuFisto and Kana vs. MsChif and Christina von Eerie, SHIMMER Vol. 47, 3/18
• Sara del Rey and Courtney Rush vs. Leva Bates and Allison Danger, SHIMMER Vol. 47, 3/18
• LuFisto vs. Leon, SHIMMER Vol. 48, 3/18
• MsChif and Christina von Eerie vs. Hailey Hatred and Kalamity, SHIMMER Vol. 48, 3/18
• Cheerleader Melissa (c) vs. Saraya Knight, SHIMMER World Championship Match, SHIMMER Vol. 48, 3/18
• Cedric Alexander vs. Caleb Konley, NEW March Mayhem, 3/24
• CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho, WWE Championship Match, WrestleMania XXVIII, 4/1
• Tyson Kidd vs. Hunico, Superstars, 4/5 (airdate)
• James Storm vs. AJ Styles, Impact, 4/5 (airdate)
• Kane vs. Randy Orton, No Disqualification, Smackdown, 4/6 (airdate)
• Sugar Dunkerton vs. Eric Ryan vs. Alex Colon vs. Gary Jay, AIW Straight Outta Compton, 4/6
• Jeremy Wyatt (c) vs. Michael Strider, Metro Pro Championship Match, Metro Pro TV, 4/7
• Eddie Kingston and Homicide vs. BLK Jeez and Joker, JAPW Tag Team Championship Match, JAPW 14th Anniversary Show, 4/14
• Low Ki vs. Dan Maff, JAPW Championship Match, JAPW 14th Anniversary Show, 4/14
• Jessicka Havok (c) vs. Marti Belle, WSU Spirit Championship Match, WSU/NWS King and Queen of the Ring, 4/14
• Angel Blue (c) vs. Barbi Hayden, ACW American Joshi Championship Match, ACW Peace, Love, and Anarchy, 4/15
• ACH (c) vs. Gary Jay vs. Shawn Vexx vs. Jaykus Plisken, Anarchy Championship Match, ACW Peace, Love, and Anarchy, 4/15
• Player Uno and Stupefied vs. Matt and Nick Jackson, DDT4 First Round Match, PWG DDT4, 4/21
• Kevin Steen (c) vs. Sami Callihan, PWG World Championship Match, PWG DDT4, 4/21
• Stockade and Apollyon vs. Tony Nese and Ryan Rush, NYWC Borrowed Time, 4/22
• Dasher Hatfield and Mark Angelosetti vs. Obariyon and Kodama, Chikara Hot off the Griddle, 4/28

Cena as a heel is the nominal subject, but it's only part of what we talked about Photo Credit: WWE.com

Episode 92: Boys and Sendai Girls

Trey Irby comes on the show on short notice to talk about the John Cena heel turn tease, but we go into so much more. In addition to exploring whether it'd be viable for him to turn, with whom he'd work, and who would pick up the slack when he did turn, we talk about heels being the more interesting parties in WWE, the babyface dynamic obscuring what might have been a poignant moment for Alberto del Rio last night, crowds in the state of Pennsylvania, whether Johnny Curtis ever thought he'd be making his grand WWE re-debut at WrestleMania against Chris Jericho, and a bunch of other random nublets.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure.

Will Cesaro be able to fell the Amazing Kong? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Alright, time for the final second round pod, but first, here are the results from the American Legion region:

#1 Kevin Steen d. #8 AR Fox, 72-9
#12 Mark Henry d. #13 Kane, 61-21
#2 Austin Aries d. #7 Cheerleader Melissa, 65-18
#3 El Generico d. #11 Wade Barrett, 72-11

And now, the Easton Funplex region kicks off with a battle between two hardcore icons, #1 Eddie Kingston and #8 LuFisto. Kingston, who defeated Arik Royal, has shown gender is not a problem when it comes to his bulldozing path, but has he met anyone, male or female, remotely like LuFisto, who defeated Portia Perez? Next up, #4 Antonio Cesaro does battle with #12 Amazing Kong. Cesaro defeated Silas Young to get here, while Kong took out Pierre Abernathy and Masada. Can the Very European US Champ European uppercut Kong out of the tourney, or will she, like Mark Henry yesterday, continue to raze through as a play-in winner?

Next up is a rematch of sorts from real life, #2 Johnny Gargano vs. #7 Michael Elgin. Gargano defeated Big E. Langston, while Elgin defeated Jeremy Wyatt. Gargano won the first encounter in AIW. Can Elgin get his win back here? Finally, #3 Rachel Summerlyn takes on #6 Mark Angelosetti. Summerlyn defeated Corino in the first round, so she's primed for cheating tactics. However, Angelosetti, who took out Mercedes Martinez, has the athletic pedigree to back it up.

VOTE

The stomp gets such a bad rap. "It's a weak move," they say. Well, if I'm in the supine position and a dude is tamping down on me with his foot as hard as he can in a spot where I can't easily defend, you're damn right it should probably hurt a lot. Also, have you ever been stepped on? Like, I'm a big guy, and even my shrimpy youngest brother hurts like the Dickens if he just steps on me slowly giving me time to brace myself for the impact. What if someone jump stomped on me? Shit, that would be awful, especially if they did it from a really high height, say, the top rope. That's why the Warrior's Way is such a bad-ass move, and why I never questioned anyone using it as a finish, whether it be Low Ki in WWE as Kaval, or Jigsaw, or really anyone who has ever attempted it in a match.

Will he or won't he? Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Staff Shots:

- Not necessarily staff related, but Wrestling Bro David/Chudley Cannons is part of a Quidditch team and they need your help to get to the World Cup. Give! Give 'til it hurts like the cruciatus curse! [NY Badassilisks]

- Me and Trey Irby theoretically talk about the impending John Cena heel turn, but we go off on tangents as we are wont to do [Episode 92: Boys and Sendai Girls]

- Hey, look, Butch wrote a terrific fantasy booking character arc for Fandango [A Lead I'd Love to See Followed]

- Danielle broke down the Tim Donst promo from night 3 of King of Trios [Promo School]

- Hey, look! Danielle wrote the Best and Worst of Impact too [With Leather]

- Also, here's the Best and Worst of RAW, featuring the Triple H hate that sustains me throughout the day. [With Leather]

Wrestling Links:

- KSP on John Cena and his forked road that is ahead of him [International Object]

- The last conversation we should have about He Who Shall Not Be Named [The Mandible Claw]

- Cewsh breaks down why Alberto del Rio should retain the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania [Cewsh Reviews]

- Bully Ray needs to find out the hard way that times have changed [Last Word on Sports]

- Is Rocky's wrestling style akin to impressionism? [Wrestling Is Teleology]

- Rich Thomas went to see one of Mick Foley's comedy shows [Sad Salvation]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- A rape victim speaks out on her own experiences to put people who sympathize with the Steubenville rapists in their place [Hyper Vocal]

- One of the best takes on rape (among other things) within by the Internet's foremost dick-joke slinger, Drew Magary [GQ]

- What lies ahead for the Steubenville rapists, and why punishment without rehabilitation only creates more rape victims [Jezebel]

- 35 obsolete words that need to be revived [Buzz Feed]

- Woman who tweets about dudes being sexist douches in the tech world gets fired for said tweets. [Jezebel]

- Matt Ufford, who served in Iraq as a Marine, wrote this deeply personal recounting of his time there for the ten year anniversary of the invasion [GQ]

- Five mind-blowing facts about guns [Cracked]

- Hey, if you wanna call yourself the home of March Madness, Buffalo Wild Wings, you might wanna have March Madness on the TV [The Mighty MJD]

- And also from MJD, the five most and least valuable players in the tournament to date [The Mighty MJD]

- Facebook analytics have put together a map of rooting interests for March Madness [Deadspin]

- Florida Gulf Coast U.'s run in the NCAA Tournament so far has been so fun and awesome, so of course stodgy old white men hate it [Deadspin]

- And of course, basketball is nice, but Celebrity Hot Tub, Martin Rickman, and Bunkie Perkins know the real ca$h is in a football program, so here's how they'll build FGCU's from the ground up [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- Awesome games produced in the dying days of the consoles for which they were released [Gamma Squad]

- Using chaos theory to predict the NFL Draft [The High Phive]

- Johnny Manziel to quit Twitter and start his own Geocities page [Good Bull Hunting]

- On how superfluous gluten free diets are hurting the people who really aren't allowed to eat gluten for medical reasons [Jezebel]

- Why you should always tip your server well, even if they fart in your face [The Oatmeal]

- Boneless, skinless chicken breast need not be flavorless too [Foodspin]

- McDonald's introduces the most American burger ever in China [UPROXX]

- What would life be without the Internet, posits the latest UPROXX video [UPROXX]

- 35 ways you know you're from Philadelphia [Buzz Feed]

- Great bands that made forgettable debut records [Flavorwire]

- Mind-blowing proof that the Walking Dead and Toy Story are the same damn thing [UPROXX]

- Jon Hamm's penis has become a disruption on the set of Mad Men. Yes, that's a real headline. [Warming Glow]

Jock Samson is one of my favorite dudes in Absolute Intense Wrestling. He's an anachronism, a guy stuck in a past where the NWA was still the big governing body and wrestling was Southern as fuck. He's grown from comic relief into a real wrestler over the last year, and nothing says that more than this match announced for night 2 of this year's JT Lightning Tournament. Samson will do battle with the Wild-Eyed Southern Boy himself, Tracy Smothers. This is actually synergistic on more than one level. Obviously, there's the Southern angle, but Smothers was also associated with ECW strongly. AIW is one of ECW's spiritual inheritors.

Also, they announced the first entrant into the tournament itself, Adam Cole. That's a pretty good score. Given the haul for last year's tourney, it looks like this is becoming one of the marquee events on the calendar.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

We're at the midpoint of the match countdown, and we're getting into some of the best events of the year. This swath of matches encompasses maybe the best WWE event of the year, the best ACW event (that I saw, at least), one of the best AIW ones, and one of PWG's murderer's row three events of the year. Here goes:

Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan, 2 out of 3 Falls World Heavyweight Championship Match, Extreme Rules, 4/29
This is my WWE Match of the Year. There’s no disguising it. Daniel Bryan was unleashed for everyone to see. Sheamus, who has been WWE’s most valuable in-ring performer, may have had his best performance in his entire career with the company to date. There were so many levels to why this match ruled, and to think that this was probably an extreme reaction to the 18-second WrestleMania debacle. When you let two ring masters go at it for three falls and almost 30 minutes, you’re going to get something really, really special in return.

The match started with WWE scaring the shit out of the fans they trolled at Mania, Sheamus going for a Brogue Kick early just to recall the horrors of that opening match. Bryan went right to work trying to get a quick submission, but there was no way they were getting a fall this early in the proceedings. In fact, the first fall lasted the bulk of the match, and built towards a crescendo duo of paired falls showing the absolute genius of pre-Dr. Shelby Daniel Bryan. Between the bells of that first fall though, we got a lot of savory nuggets, including the return of Bryan saying “I HAVE TIL FIVE,” Sheamus breaking out a sweet fallaway slam, a drop toe hold into the corner on Sheamus and Bryan kicking the rope to jar his Irish brain into alertness, and of course, Bryan working that arm after ramming it into the ringpost. I am just a sucker for ringpost bumps, I am.

But where the match was made for me was the sequence between the the first fall and the beginning of the third. Bryan intentionally getting disqualified into the big dropkick in the corner into the YES! Lock into Bryan cheerleading the YES chants as doctors checked on Sheamus into Sheamus’ half-sleepy Brogue Kick was one of the best sequences in wrestling history. You do not get any better than that. Everything else after was just gravy. Just savory, delicious, Daniel Bryan-just-kicked-your-goddamn-head-in gravy.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar, Extreme Rules, 4/29
This wasn’t your typical WWE main event. A typical WWE main event doesn’t see a mammoth Viking of a man crash into John Cena and bust him open with an elbow within the first thirty seconds. A typical WWE main event doesn’t feel like it was ripped from the ‘90s shoot-style wrestling promotion headed up by Volk Han that transitioned into a cartoonish, late ‘90s ECW-influenced garbage match. It was a match that opened up doors of possibility for WWE that they didn’t even attempt to walk through with later matches, but given the roster they’ve had, that might have been a good idea.

Lesnar, despite being away from worked-pro wrestling for years, not only settled into his old roles and tropes with surprising ease, but he was able to work some of that visceral, MMA-style attack into it. Cena, for all his faults, was a natural at looking like he was getting his ass kicked like one of Lesnar’s fallen UFC opponents, y’know, the ones who didn’t beat him soundly. All those times WWE announcers told us the odds were stacked against Cena were bullshit, but here, he and Lesnar showed a display of the odds being stacked against him, and surprise, surprise, it fucking worked.

Once Lesnar tied up Cena’s legs with the chain and Tree-of-Woe’d him over the apron is when it transitioned from RINGS to ECW, but it felt almost seamless in a way. Lesnar’s role in the match was stoic as that of a comic book supervillain, so why should he have limited himself? The Jack Shephard-from-the-LOST-finale punch to Cena on the apron was another visually stunning spot, and Lesnar parading around the ring like he was Superman after shrugging off his own knee damage was spot on, especially because it led to Cena punching him in the mouth with the chain and Attitudinally Adjusting him onto the steel ring steps for the victory. Say what you want about Cena’s next 11 months or so and how he had an “awful year.” In this match, he reached his ultimate potential as a professional wrestler, and it was goddamn excellent.

Tim Donst vs. Brian Kendrick, JT Lightning Tournament First Round Match, AIW JT Lightning Tournament Night 1, 5/11
Donst made a big deal before the match about watching Kendrick wrestle Bryan Danielson in the first independent match he’d ever seen, and then he proceeded to spend the entirety of the match trying to put his idol away in the most Tim Donst way possible. Even as a good guy, Donst is brusque, cocky, and a little ornery, and he reminded the former Spanky throughout the match that he was there to replace his idol. There were plenty of times in the match where the intensity behind Donst’s moves and strikes matched the vigor behind his words. Hell, at one point, he dumped Spanky out of the ring off a move counter in the corner. The finish put Donst over as much as it did Kendrick. The wily old veteran, unable to put the new guy away with his offensive prowess, rolled through a powerslam attempt to get some sneaky leverage to advance him into round 2.

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

ACH vs. Colin Delaney, JT Lightning Tournament Semifinal, AIW JT Lightning Tournament Night 2, 5/12
On night one, ACH wrestled the way we are used to him wrestling. In the quarterfinals against Willie Mack, he wrestled as the David to Willie Mack’s freakishly athletic Goliath. Here, he wrestled yet another different style of match, working from underneath for three-quarters of an ass-kicking laid on him by Colin Delaney, who Pearl Harbored him from before his ring entrance and barely looked back until ACH was able to claw out a comeback. Delaney deserves a ton of credit here for how well he was able to keep the intensity up on his attack. He played such a great dick heel, from spitting beer in ACH’s face to turning the Last Dragon inside out with a sick lariat. ACH didn’t need a whole lot of offense to be effective here. All he had to do was make a small comeback in the stretch run, and then be able to capitalize on a missed elbow drop from the top into his cradle DDT finisher. No matter who won the tournament, ACH was the MVP of the weekend, and the only other name I’ll hear an argument for would be Brian Kendrick.

Brian Kendrick vs. BJ Whitmer, JT Lightning Tournament Semifinal, AIW JT Lightning Tournament Night 2, 5/12
I take copious notes for every match that I watch. I didn’t write a whole lot for the beginning of this match, but it was because they really didn’t do a whole lot of specific things of note. I can’t really write down “punch, punch, kick, kick,” because I’d waste ink. But that doesn’t mean what they were doing was boring. It was far from it. Whitmer and Kendrick, two of the most decorated innovators and forefathers of the “indietastic” style that people have come to either love or hate, came out brawling like it was the main event of a WWE pay-per-view. That’s not a knock either. It’s a credit to both guys. When people curse guys for doing MOVEZ without psychology, they curse the names of Whitmer and especially Spanky, even if they fail to realize that neither guy was a mindless spot monkey at most points of their career. Here, it’s almost like they knew people were expecting one kind of match, so they gave them a completely different style instead.

Towards the middle and end portions of the match, they were able to break out some great, specifically memorable spots. Whitmer countered a Spanky Superfly Splash by getting his knees up at the last second. Kendrick contorted his body to spin around at the height of a power bomb to hit a reverse rana, which led into Sliced Bread #2. Whitmer, in another brilliant bit of ring savvy, rolled out of the ring to avoid getting pinned. I admit I could have done without a kickout of the second Sliced Bread #2, but it went right into a magnificent finishing sequence, a back superplex followed up by a bullet-intensity yakuza kick from Whitmer that Spanky sold like getting shot in the face. It’s not surprising that these two old pros had the best match of the weekend, but it was a pleasant shock the manner in which they played it out.

Dasher Hatfield and Mark Angelosetti vs. Trey and Jon Williams, Beyond Wrestling Burst the Bubble Studio Session, 5/13
Watch it here!

There were two distinct threads running through this match. The first was a display of the innovative and exciting tandem offense from the Washington Bullets, a team from the South that is part of the vanguard of offensive firepower in the indies. They showed impeccable timing and a great sense of what makes for effective tag wrestling. The more interesting thread to me though was the tension shown between the Throwbacks, with Angelosetti’s ego taking center stage as it has all year across many different companies. At one point, his abrasiveness and unwillingness to tag in his partner caused Hatfield to join the other team and give Mr. Touchdown the what-for until he learned that he should trust his partner. The way they stole the victory with the low bridge on the casadora Fame Asser attempt into a wheelbarrow stunner was slick as well.

Obariyon, Kodama, Kobold, Tim Donst and Jakob Hammermeier vs. Jolly Roger, Lance Steel, Crossbones, Shayne Storm and Rorschach, Chikara Aniversario: Horse of Another Color, 5/19
Originally published in my Aniversario: Horse of Another Color review

This match was more than just nostalgia vs. the present day. It was a juxtaposition of the old and the new to show that while the players and the techniques have changed, the spirit of Chikara has remained the same since day one, that it's still one of the places in wrestling where the spirit of fun is alive and well. There was the signature mix of great wrestling and superb comedy. Seriously, even if I wasn't around when Roger and Steel were doing their thing for the first time, I still felt like I was watching something that was innately familiar when they teamed up to go jousting for rudos.

All of it has to do with the performers. Everyone, from Crossbones and Storm down to Donst and the Batiri, knew how to pull the strings of the crowd and get people lost in the performance. It's more than how tight the chinlock is or how closely the limb is sold. It's about facial expressions, giving into the other guys' gimmicks, enthusiasm. This match had all that personified and more.

In the end, they did end up telling a great story with great psychology. Sure, it centered around a vinyl chestplate that was sold to be like steel, but if it works, it works. Chikara for ten years has been the place for people who embrace the absurd alongside the intense, and no match on this card emphasized that more than this one.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Dash Chisako and Sendai Sachiko vs. Meiko Satomura and Kagetsu, Chikara Aniversario: Horse of Another Color, 5/19
Chikara just keeps finding more and more great joshi action to import over to America. This time, it was on behalf of the Sendai Girls promotion, featuring the sisterly tag team of Sendai Sachiko and Dash Chisako against Kagetsu and all-world Meiko Satomura. This wasn't a traditional match by any means, but since when has joshi been about what we consider traditional? Chisako spent a good bit of the match taunting, while her sister spent a good bit of it getting stretched and stricken. Satomura is just so agile and fluid that it's hard to believe she's not unique in her talents. They really do grow them better in Japan, don't they? Also, Kagetsu may have the most violent dropkicks I've ever seen.

Player Uno and Stupefied vs. Matt and Nick Jackson, No Disqualification PWG World Tag Team Championship Match, PWG Death to All But Metal, 5/25
Originally published in my review for Death to All But Metal

As much as I love technical contests, flippy shit spotfests, and mainstream main event-style contests, a batshit crazy brawl is almost like my wrestling kryptonite. Shhh, don't tell the hoss fight. NEVER TELL THE HOSS FIGHT OF MY OTHER LOVE. It's great when it's just two guys brawling against each other, but when you have tag teams? Oh yeah, the more crazy, the better.

The match started out in the ring, but it didn't stay there for more than a couple of seconds. The teams split up and sort of went to different corners of the building to brawl, which made it hard to keep everything in a neat little box. Then again, that's not the point; it's volatility added to its allure, if you will. Chairs were flying, Jackson brothers landed hard on aprons, chairs got wrapped around peoples' heads. It was great. The fact that Stupefied was able to make the "flip to the outside" paradigm work on an innovative level in 2012 by FLYING over the announce table was enough to make this match.

But then they got back into the ring, and if you can believe it, they amped up the crazy. Nick Jackson threw a chair right at Stupefied's head with PINPOINT accuracy across the ring... twice! There was a spike tombstone on the apron, which is insane even by PWG's lofty standards of apron spots. Even the end, which had referee trickery, worked, because I can buy Matt Jackson being cock enough to yank a ref out and kick him in the face. It helped that the Bucks had heat with Rick Knox from the past. Who says PWG doesn't do long term angles?

El Generico vs. Ricochet, PWG Death to All But Metal, 5/25
Tell me a story. That’s all I want in a wrestling match. Tell me a story. It doesn’t have to be all that intricate, but it helps if it does. Generico and Ricochet often have the reputation of not knowing how to do psychology laid at their doorsteps. In Generico’s case, that’s bullshit, and everyone should know it. He proved it here in a young lion vs. established alpha predator match that used repetition to perfection and featured a Ricochet who was way game to be the cockiest, fullest-of-himself cock-faced prick in the building (that also happened to house the Young Bucks that night). Just when it seemed that Generico missing his fourth yakuza kick was getting into overkill territory, he uncorked a successful one, releasing some major catharsis. That’s how you do storytelling in a match.

Frankie Tucker vs. Derrick King, Last Man Standing Match, ???, 5/25
The joy of finding wrestling matches on YouTube is that you discover wrestlers like Frankie Tucker and Derrick King who blow you away when before you didn't know the first thing about them. The annoying thing about finding matches on YT is that a lot of times, they're poorly annotated. I don't know which promotion this match came from, but then again, this would be a great match regardless of trapping. Tucker is an epic in-match shit talker, which may or may not be because he could be a legitimate old Southern white guy wrestling against a black dude. Draw your own conclusions. The match finish seemed to indicate a crooked ref angle, which was a bit confusing. Still, this would have been a good match to look up if the uploader hadn't closed his or her account. I guess you're going to have to take my word for it.

Gran Akuma vs. Icarus, Ladder Match for Akuma's Career, Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur, 6/2
Originally published in my review of Chikarasaurus Rex

Gran Akuma and Icarus had almost two years of mostly dormant into about six months of a revenge tale. It culminated here, and holy poop, did both guys deliver big time. Even if it still might feel weird for people who remember Akuma as the most dickish of the original FIST trio as a hero here, he played his part well. WE all knew that Icarus would throw the crowd into a froth just by breathing (and he did), but Akuma proved here that he was able of scooping up the good will and making it into a story.

The mark of a great match is that it tells a great story even if it's a foregone conclusion who is going to win. I thought that Icarus winning would've taken an act of God, but there I was, sitting with my butthole clenched every time he got close to the contract. When Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano came out, I thought that every preconceived notion about how the match would turn out was wrong. But when Akuma pancaked Icarus through that table and grabbed the contract, the catharsis was still as full and rich as it would've been had this been a result up in the air.

Further reinforcing the match was the use of the ladder. There were two ladders in play, one smaller and one larger, and both were used several times to brutal effects. Icarus putting Akuma through the smaller one with the Blu-Ray was just brutal. Hell, even when Icarus was using the ladder as a bad landing for Akuma on a ring-in senton, it still looked impressive. Perhaps it was Icarus selling the fact that it hurt him too that drove the point home. Either way, everything came together, even Gregory Iron's involvement, and coalesced into one of the finest ladder matches of all-time.

Caprice Coleman and Cedric Alexander vs. Kyle Matthews and Jimmy Rave, Rampage Cup First Round Match, Rampage TV, 6/10
Watch part 1!Part 2!

This is very much a template match, but it’s a template I probably enjoy the most. It started out with mat stuff and guys establishing their personalities. Well, it was mostly Rave establishing the personality of being a indecisive and possibly lazy prick. But yeah, the mat stuff was top notch as was expected with the guys in the match. There was a really slick sequence with the Greco-Roman knuckle lock where Matthews had Alexander pinned down, trying to get his shoulders down by hopping on top of him knees first. Once Rave planted Alexander with a lariat to the back of the head, the faster portion of the match started. The action got a little hard to keep up with at times, but sometimes, a little insanity is needed in a tag match. There was even a bit of PWG action in it with Matthews planting Alexander with the STO on the apron. The match remained taut through the finish, a corner dropkick (Matthews’ Slurpee Kick) into an inside cradle by Rave for the win.

El Hijo del Bamboo (c) vs. Sexxxy Eddy, ISW Other Championship, ISW Grand Theft Ottawa, 6/15
Originally published in my review of Grand Theft Ottawa

I can't ever remember laughing so hard in a good way at a wrestling match in 2012, and to top it off, the actual wrestling itself was done so well. A lot of times, in comedy matches, the psychology is so good because the tropes are so in your face. Eddy is a pervert with a big dick, so of course that's going to be the basis of his offense. Conversely, Bamboo is a fucking bear, so obviously he's going to use that weight to his advantage. It's funny to say that a comedic match was wrestled smartly, but hey, these guys were not only comedians, but they were scholars too.

What impressed me most in this match was how well Bamboo got around with all that extra baggage in his ring attire. Here's a guy in a bulky panda suit doing discus gamengiris and flying off the top rope like it's nothing. That takes a lot of dexterity, and it actually is more impressive than when, say, Low Ki does it. It just goes to show that their environment has that much more of a degree of difficulty.

The other degree comes from the fact that great comedy is way, way harder to do because it's way, way more subjective. For me, the raunchy nature of this match was pitch perfect. Here's a guy with a bulge that screams for you to look at, so of course I'm expecting him to use it to his advantage and have it used against him. As much as I loved the trading of sodomy, my absolute favorite part of the night was when Bamboo started working Eddy's scrotum like a speedbag. It was absurd and blue and pretty much represented everything that ISW is all about.

Mason and Devin Cutter vs. Alex Castle and Matt Cage vs. Davey Vega and Eric Ryan, Beyond Wrestling/St. Louis Anarchy Double Trouble, 6/16
I need to tell you about the Hooligans if you don't already know. They're stocky brothers with shaved heads and ginger beards who do quebradas and all kinds of other high-flying moves. They rule. So do the Kentucky Buffet, Davey Vega and Eric Ryan, but the Hooligans ruled hardest. I mean, everyone was awesome in this match, but I just can't get over how awesome they were. Sure, Vega and Ryan won, but you catch my drift.

Mark Angel vs. Drew Gulak, Beyond Wrestling/St. Louis Anarchy Double Trouble, 6/16
Originally published in my review for Double Trouble

This was one of the finest matches in Beyond Wrestling's history, even if it ended unsatisfactorily. Gulak and Angel proved that they are two of the best wrestlers going right now. The story was that Gulak was the mat guy who was on a revenge tour, taking out everyone who beat him to date. Angel, the athletic points leader, was next on his list. The narrative said that Gulak should have outclassed Angel on the mat early on, but I'm not sure I bought that completely. Angel acquitted himself well, almost belying his story of a talented guy whose heart maybe wasn't completely in being a wrestler.

(I also really dug the jabs at Angel and Mr. Touchdown being two different guys but not really by Denver Colorado and Johnny Mangue in the announce booth here. Subtly amusing.)

As the match progressed, there was more and more from both guys that impressed the hell out of me. As Gulak "snapped," he started breaking out bigger and bigger moves, including his "Diamond clothesline," a lariat from the top rope. Angel did the accordion sell on it, which skipped him up like ten spots in my book. Gulak also busted out an exploder on Angel from the floor with Angel on the apron. My eyes bugged out of my head for that.

Onto the finish, in a vacuum, I probably would've been pissed off. That was a great match that I thought deserved an actual, cathartic finish, preferably with Gulak redeeming his prior loss. However, in the context of it being an actual story and its placement on the card, it was more than adequate. Gulak flipping out at the end and establishing his character in the promotion. It also accidentally foreshadowed both the NFL's replacement official fiasco and WWE's hamhanded parodying of it, even if Jake Clemons is a regular AIW official. Then again, there was no AIW branding on this event, so draw your own conclusions...

Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Rachel Summerlyn vs. Jazz, First Round Queen of Queens Tournament Match, ACW Queen of Queens ’12, 6/24
The advance hype on this match was that it was amazing. Given the principals in it, I believed that it would live up to the billing. But good lord, Summerlyn and Jazz went out in front of the crowd at Hooligans and had one of the most unique matches of the year. It was back and forth without gratuitous rest holds. The ease in which both wrestlers were able to cycle in and out of holds and into counters was amazing. Hell, the fact that there was so much submission grappling going on was almost surprising.

Here we had two of the best reputed strikers in the game right now, and they went hold for hold for three-quarters of the match. It wasn’t just namby-pamby wrestling school feeling out either. At one point, Jazz went from being corralled by Summerlyn on the mat in a waistlock into slapping on a cross-legged Boston crab in a second flat. Then she segued from that hold into a butterfly Muta Lock. It was like Jazz focused all the energy she put into her strikes normally and converted it effortlessly into submission prowess. The thing was that the strikes DID manifest themselves, only they were integrated into the grappling. Knees went into kidneys. Boots met faces. It was almost like what the actual art of what we know as professional wrestling would look like as a shoot.

In the end, it would be Summerlyn, who fought the uphill battle most of the match against the lean, mean, Diva-crushing machine known as Jazz, pulling out the win with her Gory Bomb that came almost out of nowhere. Through taking an ass kicking and doling out an impressive array of offense herself, Summerlyn proved yet again why she was Queen of Texas in 2012. This match needs to be seen by everyone. EVERYONE.

Jessicka Havok vs. Athena, Queen of Queens Tournament Final, ACW Queen of Queens ’12, 6/24
Athena’s final piece to her tournament win was an epic brawl against probably the most fearsome and imposing presence in independent wrestling. Havok began this match the way she did her other two, attacking the opponent from behind and without relent. While Rachel Summerlyn, who had her own mat classic with Jazz AND a sneak attack from Lady Poison to recover from, fell a little easier than anyone expected, Athena, battle-hardened herself, wasn’t about to let some hussy, even a zombie-killing dynamo of one, take her title. Every dismissive boot stomp, face slap, or chairshot Havok threw at Athena, the Wrestling Goddess gave back and then some. The chairplay at the end really drove home the brutality for me. Havok piled chairs on top of each other, only to get the business end of it, her back crashing against them under the weight of Athena’s crossbody. To add further insult to injury, it was an O-Face delivered from the apron to the upright portion of a set-up folding chair that finally killed the zombie killer and gave Athena the victory and the tournament. It was Athena’s second world-class brawl this year, and if she hasn’t put the wrestling world on notice with this one, then the wrestling world is blind and dumb.

Fred Yehi vs. Najasism, PCW House Show, 7/7
Watch it here!

Najasism is quite the spark plug here. The in-house announcers were playing up that he wanted to show Yehi that he too was in his league, and the match did take a personal tone to it early on. Najasism got all up in Yehi’s grill and ended up taking the strong-style counterwrestler out of his jovial mood and into an ornery disposition. Najasism wasn’t going to let Yehi, who has become PCW’s sort of big match wrestler, push him around though. He had answers for Yehi’s questions, even if at several points in the match Yehi showed he was still one step ahead.

This was my first exposure to Najasism, and he proved himself to be an able high flyer with big strikes and even a submission game of his own. Obviously, it wasn’t up to task with Yehi, who could trade submission holds with anyone, but he busted out a crossface that was just as good as anyone else’s. I also really dug his kneeling neckbreaker hold. That was innovative as all get out. But yeah, he was best in the air, especially delivering things like sliding kicks from the apron to a draped-over-the-second-rope Yehi or dropping cross-bodies.

Yehi was obviously on point here too. He’s one of my favorite 2012 finds on YouTube for a reason. He goes hard to the mat, has great counters and transitions, and he’s got a great sense of how to pace a match. This may have been his best match that I’ve seen to date, and given the company, that’s saying something.

Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

Joseph Park vs. Bully Ray, No Holds Barred Match, Impact, 7/12
This match wasn't a match for people who liked moves. This match wasn't a match for people who wanted cool high spots. It wasn't a match for people who wanted riveting back and forth interplay. Hell, it wasn't even a match for people who wanted to see a fair fight. What it was, though, was a great story. Again, the story is Park is just a lawyer, he's not a fighter. But he was goaded into a fight, and he just ended up taking a beating most of the match. The hardcore stuff was done really well, and Bully carried his end of the match superbly, which is what he had to do with Park playing up the wrestling dunce character. That being said, the match was MADE with Park's body language and facial expressions. I especially loved him trying to handle the chair. Awesome television.

Honorable Mentions:

• Kane vs. Daniel Bryan, Falls Count Anywhere, Extreme Rules, 4/29
• CM Punk (c) vs. Chris Jericho, WWE Championship Chicago Street Fight, Extreme Rules, 4/29
• Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show, RAW, 4/30
• Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan, World Championship Match, Smackdown, 5/4 (airdate)
• ACH vs. Davey Vega, JT Lightning Tournament First Round Match, AIW JT Lightning Tournament Night 1, 5/11
• ACH vs. Willie Mack, JT Lightning Tournament Quarterfinal, AIW JT Lightning Tournament Night 2, 5/12
• Ophidian vs. Dasher Hatfield, Chikara Aniversario: Horse of Another Color, 5/19
• Portia Perez and Rachel Summerlyn vs. Lady Poison and Angel Blue, Evening Gown Match, ACW Nothing Is As Real As a Dream, 5/20
• Sheamus and John Cena vs. Jack Swagger, Tensai, and Dolph Ziggler, Lumberjack Match, RAW, 5/21
• Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger, Smackdown, 5/25 (airdate)
• Famous B vs. B-Boy, PWG Death to All but Metal, 5/25
• CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan, RAW, 5/28 (airdate)
• Robert Roode vs. Sting, Impact, 5/31 (airdate)
• AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels, Impact, 5/31 (airdate)
• Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler, Smackdown, 6/1 (airdate)
• Fred Yehi vs. Corey Hollis, PCW Show, 6/1
• Eddie Kingston, Mike Quackenbush, Green Ant, Soldier Ant, and Jigsaw vs. 17, The Shard, combatANT, assailANT, and deviANT, Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur, 6/2
• Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus, RAW, 6/4
• Colt Cabana (c) vs. Adam Pearce, NWA World Championship First Blood Match, NWA Hollywood, 6/10 (airdate)
• Addy Starr vs. Michael von Payton, ISW Grand Theft Ottawa, 6/15
• ACH vs. Johnny Gargano, Beyond/St. Louis Anarchy Double Trouble, 6/16
• Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler, RAW, 6/18
• Chrisitan vs. Alberto del Rio, Smackdown, 6/22 (airdate)
• Sheamus (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler, World Championship Match, Smackdown, 6/22 (airdate)
• Kyle Matthews vs. CTD, DSCW Show, 6/23
• Sam Shaw (c) vs. Vordell Walker, USWA Heavyweight Championship Match, USWA Red, White, and Bruised 4 the Troops, 6/23
• Jessicka Havok vs. Lady Poison, Queen of Queens First Round Match, ACW Queen of Queens '12, 6/24
• Kyle Matthews vs. Corey Hollis, NWA Anarchy TV, 7/8 (airdate)

We're into the Sweet Sixteen, but before we get there, why not recap second round action in Easton:

#1 Eddie Kingston d. #8 LuFisto, 46-28
#4 Antonio Cesaro d. #12 Amazing Kong, 67-8
#2 Johnny Gargano d. #7 Michael Elgin, 44-30
#3 Rachel Summerlyn d. #6 Mark Angelosetti, 46-26

Alright, in the first regional semifinal, from Berwyn Eagles Club, #1 CM Punk takes on #4 Robert Roode. Punk defeated Chiva Kid and Dolph Ziggler to get here, while Roode took out MsChif and Saraya Knight. It's a battle of the longest title reigns in their respective companies. Does Punk have what it takes overcome Roode? Next, #7 Athena takes on #3 Alberto del Rio. Athena defeated Nicole Matthews and Sheamus to get here, while del Rio took out Shane Hollister and Sami Callihan. Athena shocked the world taking out Sheamus in round 2. Can she do the same to yet another WWE main eventer in del Rio?

Moving to Turners Hall, #9 Tim Donst goes up against #4 Jessicka Havok. Donst slayed the giants of WWE Ryback and John Cena to get here, while Havok dispatched Davey Vega and Adam Cole. Donst is on a hot streak, but will the Umbrella Corp. assassin be able to stop him? Finally, in a veritable dream match, #2 Daniel Bryan will take out #3 ACH. Bryan defeated Darin Corbin and Christopher Daniels, while ACH beat Mark Briscoe and Bully Ray. If this match happened in real life, it might be one of the best matches ever. Who will win here though?

Keep on votin'!

I really wish the E wasn't already $12 mil up on the game for WrestleMania weekend.

It means a certain level of coasting is involved. It means the attention to detail that an obsessive like me thrives on and is part of the reason why I asked to cover this beat in the first place is allowed to fall by the wayside.

Here, I can get Sheamus cutting nearly the same promo he cut last week and not doing things like bumping like someone 55% of his size and wrestling for a three-segger.  Miz will get a shot at the Intercontinental Championship come WrestleMania next Sunday, though why he'd want a secondary title at this time and point is beyond me.

Does he even know he's no longer going after the US Title but the IC?  No matter: Antonio Cesaro was kicking off the show against Kane.  It didn't matter that he threw a double stomp from the second rope, a Cesaro Lift, several impressive crushing Very European uppercuts, or for that matter found a new way to antagonize the Universe (yodeling) and thus proving that Parts Unknown must be a misnomer that falls somewhere under the collective of U S A!  (according to the subsequent chants that broke out).  Of course, the albatross that is a secondary title felled my mancrush AC despite the fact AJ came out and skipped her lou around the ring; a chokeslam later, the match was done.  Cesaro doesn't even have a thing going into WrestleMania, which is beyond a traveshamockery.  Maybe he can fight Barrett in a unification match where they both get counted out.  Hell, that Daniel Bryan fellow was on the third headset--why not have him against Cesaro, hm?  I liked the allusion to S1 NXT hostilities as much as the next supernerd and him treating Ms. Lee like Voldemort but honestly, this is inevitibilitum at its finest here.

In so far as the amuse bouche for the fully gendered 8 person WM preview match, here's some bullet points that I noted for you going forward: Funkasaurus + Tensai = Tons Of Funk.  What hot garbage that name is: Run-TBC was right there, you punks.  If you're one of those who're like "Um...I can't tell Naomi from Cameron..." the latter kind of looks like Kelly Rowland.  The Bellas haven't lost a step in the ring, which is a slight but not as big as one as it would've been when they first signed on.  And if WWE Creative would like to make up for not using RTBC, then I demand Cameron's using the opponent to propel herself upwards to land a kick to the back of the head be named the Step Up 2 To The Streets enzuigiri.

Boy, am I looking forward to this show in two weeks!  (Is there even going to be a show next week?  Hm.)

Wrestling is art in and of itself. However, thanks to Rob Schamberger, it literally has become art in the form of paintings. All of his work can be found on his site. The dude is seriously talented. If you wanna kill a few minutes just looking at awesome paintings of pro wrestlers, check him out.

h/t Carlos T. Parra

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Let us begin in earnest, shall we?

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Alberto del Rio (c, w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter)

How: Swagger won the Elimination Chamber match, giving him the opportunity to challenge del Rio for the Big Gold Belt.

The Story: After a self-imposed exile to "find himself" in the fall of last year, Swagger came back in February with a vengeance. He aligned himself with Zeb Colter, a radical anti-immigration parody of the Tea Party's worst elements, and the two started a crusade to end what they not-so-subtly thought was the freeloading of goods and services by illegal immigrants. That put the World Heavyweight Champion square in his crosshairs. In order to get there, he had to win the Elimination Chamber, which he did eliminating Randy Orton by sneaky roll-up after he had done the heavy lifting.

Swagger and Colter attacked del Rio via direct and indirect promotional material. The Champ responded in kind saying that even though he was born in Mexico, he represented the American Dream by being able to come here and make a better life for himself (despite the fact that he was already an aristocrat). In turn, he started parodying the crass YouTube videos that Swagger and Colter were making, to which they responded by viciously assaulting Ricardo Rodriguez the last two episodes of RAW.

Analysis: In theory, this should be a good story. Angry, insular, fringe conservative nutjob is irrationally angry and attacks the popular Latino Champion. Popular Latino Champion fights back. They do stuff to each other, bam, instant heat for a match. The problem is that WWE, in typical WWE fashion, has done a ham-handed job of presenting the narrative that it doesn't even feel worthy of a feud to be settled on Hell in a Cell or Payback or Wrestling Match: The PPV let alone Mania.

It almost feels like Swagger was rushed into the story and the character. Rodriguez and del Rio making parodies of We the People's YouTube series came way too soon after the genesis of them for those counterpunches to really mean anything. del Rio's motives are half-baked at best and totally ill-fitting at worst. There are plenty of reasons why I'd want to root for a Mexican guy over a virulent racist/xenophobe in a big match, but knowing that he's the Latino Million Dollar Man (El Hombre del Mil Milones de Pesos?), I don't think he'd really need to be the symbol of the American Dream. That's left for sons of plumbers and gutter snipes who work their way up the social ladder to attain success, not dudes with silver spoons in their mouths.

I'd rather have waited for Swagger to get more character momentum before pulling the trigger on this feud and had del Rio go up against a seasoned Mania performer like Chris Jericho here if just for a spectacle match. But this is what we have, and it's so WWE that maybe we shouldn't be surprised.

Who Should Win: del Rio should win, not for story reasons, but because I'm still not over Swagger's DUI arrest.

Who Will Win: del Rio is probably going to win, not because of DUI reasons, but because I don't think Swagger as a character is ready for gold yet.

Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Via the SHIMMER site

As one SHIMMER stalwart in Madison Eagles makes her return to the company next week at WrestleCon, another will be making her final appearance. Former Tag Team Champion and joshi favorite Ayumi Kurihara will be retiring from professional wrestling on August 4th with a final match and retirement show at Korauken Hall. She will be unable to make the next weekend of tapings in Berwyn, so her final SHIMMER appearance will be at WrestleCon for Vol. 53. Kurihara is retiring because of nagging injuries that she didn't properly recover from.

Speaking as a fan, I'm bummed by this announcement. Kurihara was always a bright spot on SHIMMER DVDs I'd purchase, and her run of Tag Title defenses with Ayako Hamada on Vols. 45-48 was nothing short of goddamn outstanding. But as a person, man, if she's too hurt to compete, I'm glad she's hanging them up now instead of continuing on into a path that would put her into a wheelchair when she was in her 40s or 50s. As with any wrestling retirement, this is bittersweet, but hey, at least we get one more show.