Instant Feedback: Rinsing and Repeating with Alberto del Rio

December 6, 2013, 7:30 pm

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Sorry, this is just not effective Photo Credit: WWE.com

A question I see in blogs or Twitter way too often is "Why is Alberto del Rio not 'over?'" The Mexican Aristocrat has been the subject of thinkpieces, impassioned defenses, and debates as to why fans aren't reacting to him in direct proportion to how hard WWE has been pushing him. Ever since he debuted on the main roster, del Rio has been inserted directly into the main event or near it, and his overness has been intermittent if existent at all.

I don't know the reason why fans haven't latched onto him, because I am not an expert in extrapolating the mindsets of thousands of people at a time. One guess is his ill-fated babyface turn in the beginning of the year, one that had him extolling the virtues of being American despite the fact he'd been portrayed firmly as a Mexican national his entire career. However, if crowds en masse were taking the side of Tea Party nutjobs over him as a good guy, shouldn't charismatic faces be able to draw heat from him like a stone as a baddie?

My hypothesis lies in the ultimately repetitive way he's been booked, a microcosm of which could be found in the last week of WWE programming. On RAW, a newly rebranded Sin Cara was apparently sent like a lamb to slaughter at the altar of El Patron, but after a medium-length television match, he got the duke. del Rio snapped, and then during his next match on Smackdown, he beat the ever-loving piss out of Kofi Kingston. If that pattern of booking sounds familiar to you, then congratulations, you have been paying attention to Alberto del Rio since his debut.

In between those couplings of matches, del Rio, one of WWE's surest hands in his tenure on the main roster, has been placed into feuds where he just cannot win. He either is matched against a wrestler out of his paygrade, like John Cena or CM Punk, or he's put into utterly degrading feuds where dudes like Sheamus take a dump in his car after stealing it to the repercussion more non-existant than reasoned, rational takes on Miley Cyrus in the mainstream media. IN short, del Rio may be the worst-booked main eventer in recent WWE history.

(Speaking of shit, did WWE give Dean Ambrose a convenient bonus for working 10+ minutes AFTER CM Punk shit his drawers? Did Punk buy him dinner for the rest of the week, especially after going deep on the lateral press with leg hook and sticking his shit-packed ass in his face?)

I wouldn't blame any live crowd sitting through del Rio beating Kingston like he'd just walked in on Kofi having sex with his significant other in sheer silence. They've seen the story before. The cry of wolf has lost all meaning. Kingston himself is at a nadir, having done everything he could do as smiling innocuous good guy and getting into bland feuds with The Miz over being "competitive guys with big attitudes." Gravitas is in short supply in WWE, and apparently, it can only be rationed to a few people at a time.

The shame part is that del Rio is a guy with subtle but vibrant charisma. He's one of the best heel workers they have. He should not be met with hands under thighs, nor should his overness be the subject of countless columns, sucking bandwidth like a remora on the underbelly of a monolithic shark caring not that its blood is being sapped in search for more with which to replace it. He is the poster child for WWE Creative's utter failure to consistently build wrestlers they've been handed with a mandate to place right in the main event.

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Best Coast Bias: A Golden Night At Full Sail

December 8, 2013, 5:45 am

≫ Next: Twitter Request Line, Vol. 56

≪ Previous: Instant Feedback: Rinsing and Repeating with Alberto del Rio

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At the risk of sounding cliche, queen reigns supreme Screen Grab via Predadora the Explora Tumblr

There's a difference between being in peril against being swept out to sea; a difference between a long two-count and a win; the sometimes razor-thin margin being top contender and Champion.

In the first installment of NXT-in-2013's final taping, both NXT Champion Bo Dallas and the Women's Champion put their belts on the line against quality competition in, respectively, Adrian Neville and Natalya. But while the Anti-Diva shut the door firmly on the NattieKat challenge by merking her with a Paige Turner No Not Her Out Of Nowhere™, Dallas' countout loss in a slightly lesser bout leaves the door open for questions, longest-reigning NXT Champion ever or no.

Let's start the same way the show did, with the women's title on the line in what turned out to be Paige's best match since she got a hold of the belt and Nattie's best match in at least years. In a top 10 list of reasons why NXT is better than RAW, one of them for the hard rocks like myself and probably you the loyal Boliever is that on the big league shows, the women are there to be attractive and remind people about Total Divas. Having quality matches is almost (?) ancillary. Down Full Sail way, however, being a total diva means when the bell rings it's time to start swinging lumber, and both champion and challenger were more than up to the task in the best match on the show. It was very reminiscent of the Zayn/Neville match a fortnight ago in that it started off with some high-quality chain wrestling before the throttles were opened up.

But where that match turned into a fight that threatened to bring forth aerial armageddon this one was just this side shy of a bar brawl. Paige's stomp party was met in kind with one from Nattie, and the Calgarian's turning a handshake into her own offense was met with the notorious knee strikes that the enchanting raven-haired lady is feared and known for. Paige even took Nat's .7 Harper MURDERDISCUSKILL lariat and found an awesome Sharpshooter counter by turning into it and using her core and remaining leg strength to fling the bigger woman into the turnbuckles, where she'd smack into the middle one with a hard impact. It was the only opening Paige would get to hit her finisher; fortunately for her, it'd be the only one she'd need. Their cries and hugging post-match felt earned, the signifier of hail fellow wrestler well met, and the only thing left in the wake is who's going to fall prey to the champion next.

Bo Dallas wishes he had it that easy.

Trying to outwrestle Neville early didn't work. Talking to himself to stoke himself up bought him some time out on the floor, but even after getting the advantage back inside the ring he couldn't shut Neville down. Not even a patented bulldog could hold off the former 2x NXT Tag Champion, and the second rope kneedrop attempt was a misssssstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkeeeeeeeeeeee to say the least. Trying to match aerial warfare with the Englishman is an invitation to disaster, obviously, and thus Neville after a crazy inside-out handless twisting Asai moonsault and plancha won a victory, but only a countout one. Could Bo have recovered from that and gotten back in the ring, given how close he came to pulling it off? Is this angling towards a rematch or a triple threat with Zayn? And between the murky nature of the loss and the possibly accidental forearm shot to Neville in what should've been a clean break, is the NXT Champion after 200 days atop the mountain starting to follow his brother's long, winding path down the dark side?

Of course, if Sami Zayn is going to be in such a match -- one he wants, as he does the title -- he'll have to fade Leo Kruger first. Having renewed hostilities in the Beat The Clock challenge closer, Kruger decided he wanted in on the Real Americans, and Antonio Cesaro intimated if he could swat the lead dog in the El Generico Fan Club sled that such a possibility was open to him. So Kruger beat up Sami, only to see everybody's favorite ginger come out while he had Tyson Kidd in the Sharpshooter looking to put away the man he'd jumped while injured way back in February and got rolled up as a result. Too predictable, to be sure, but it opens the door for a Zayn/Kruger rematch on next week's show in which LA(N)X(T)'ll get their shot at the Ascension for the tag straps as well.

As for Antonio Cesaro, well... hopefully before he goes down giant swinging, Master Regal can beat a lesson about niceties into that bald skull of his. What can you say about a hulking behemoth of a man forcing an African-American in 2013 to say We The People before throttling and slapping down an announcer that's not even half his size? Well, one could say it's the history of America being accidentally told through grown men in spandex, but the fact remains on a week where Regal wasn't anywhere to be found Cesaro sent him a message--the opposite one of the roses thrown at Aiden English's feet after he disposed of Some Guy. Cesaro/Regal is coming soon, and all the villanry one can muster in a match may spawn as a result. Five languages or not, evil translates easily in actions, especially given the participants to be involved. But that'll have to wait for another day.

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 56

December 8, 2013, 1:40 pm

≫ Next: Sami Callihan, Hacker?

≪ Previous: Best Coast Bias: A Golden Night At Full Sail

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One more time, with feeling Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Anyway, time to go!

First up, @robot_hammer wants to know if WWE were to set up a 16-team tag tournament, how I would seed it.

Well, isn't this list starting out with a doozy. Assuming that the Tag Team Championships are vacant and everyone's involved, I would have to seed the tourney like so:

1: Cody Rhodes and Goldust
2: Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins
3: Jimmy and Jey Uso
4: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk
5: Erick Rowan and Luke Harper
6: Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger
7: Titus O'Neil and Darren Young
8: Curtis Axel and Ryback
9: Conor O'Brien and Rick Victor
10: Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne
11: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara
12: Fernando and Diego
13: Brodus Clay and Sweet T
14: John Cahill and Eric Philbin (aka Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards)
15: Santino Marella and Great Khali
16: Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal

As for the tournament, I would allow for upsets and all, but the final matchup would have to be the swan song in the best rivalry of 2013 so far, right? Rhodes Boys vs. Shield, one last time, for all the marbles?

@PatrickEhland has two questions. First, he asks which City Six team (Philadelphia college) will have the best basketball season, and which one the worst.

As a proud alumnus of Drexel University, I am completely biased on this subject. However, the Dragons have been playing lights out so far, only losing to UCLA and Arizona, two of the Pac-12's best programs. While Drexel's tendency to shit the bed in the conference tournament is well-noted, I think they may have a shot at getting an at-large bid if they hoss the regular season. If they get in, they can win at least one game. Realistically, Villanova may be the best threat to make the Sweet 16. They'll receive more of a test, as the Big East, though pared and shed of a good bit of its prior roster, will still be rough.

As for the worst? University of Pennsylvania has gotten off to a putrid start. They may rebound during the Ivy League schedule, but so far, they look like dogshit, which pleases me. A terrible season is what they get for ducking Drexel this year.

Second, wasn't watching Nick Saban get his chances for another National Championship get stomped delicious?

Scott T. Holland of Irresistible vs. Immovable asks who the major contenders to win the Royal Rumble could be, and what their odds to win would be.

The Rumble is both wide open and limited this year. I don't think WWE will book a winner like Sheamus or Alberto del Rio in their respective years, but I also think the number of first-time winners who could jump realistically to one of two or three Mania main event slots is plentiful. So...

Roman Reigns - 1/2: I could be wrong, but I feel as if Survivor Series was foreshadowing as to WWE's plans for the Shield's monster. The company is in a unique spot with their paramilitary trio. Arguably, they are the Road Warriors for this generation, a group that got over huge as a unit but could reasonably splinter off and challenge for main events without actually staying whole. Reigns challenging either Randy Orton or John Cena at Mania would carry a lot of luster and mystique, as would the interpersonal dynamics within the group in the lead up to said title match.

Daniel Bryan - Even: I am definitely falling into a trap of wishful thinking, but I have to wonder whether Smackdown held a clue as to WWE's true intentions with Bryan. When he says he hasn't forgotten about wanting a crack at Orton and the Championship, I take it as a knowing wink to the audience that WWE hasn't forgotten either.

CM Punk - 3/1: Punk seems to be in limbo right now, which puts him in perfect position to win. What holds me back from him being the favorite is that he still has lingering issues with Brock Lesnar. Of course, the Lesnar/Undertaker rumors put a damper on that SummerSlam rematch, but hey, WWE has a comparatively muddled Mania picture compared to the last two years.

John Cena/Randy Orton loser - 10/1: WWE putting on Orton and Cena at TLC seems like their way of getting the match out of their system without having to put it at WrestleMania. They may see Orton and Cena as the Hogan/Savage of our era, but then again, Hogan and Savage only wrestled at Mania against each other once. Different eras, of course, but who knows anymore.

Triple H - 20/1: I am fatalistic.

Sheamus - 25/1: He fits the mold of being a returning superstar who has held the title before. A Mania main event might cement him in the firmament, which is good enough reason to pull the trigger on him. However, in a year with so many ready-made stories to plug into a Mania card, especially with the title in the balance, Sheamus might have to wait another year for his turn.

Bray Wyatt - 50/1: The Wyatt Family is newer and less established, but like The Shield, they've been tossed into the proverbial fire. Unlike The Shield, which is presented as a group of bizarro-world evil Three Musketeers, the Wyatt Family cult is for the betterment and service of the malevolent spirit embodying the worldly husk of one Husky Harris. I think if he has a huge match this year, it would be against the Undertaker, but the title remains a backdoor possibility.

Mark Henry - 150/1: The Hall of Pain housing the Rumble feels like a longshot, but he was positioned as a big f'n deal before he got injured. He also was able to move numbers on Smackdown and at house shows as World Heavyweight Champion, which I hear are still important to WWE brass. Fuck if I know. But him winning the Rumble and becoming Undisputed Champion at Mania would be satisfying, at least to me.

Field - 1,250/1: Hey, anything could happen, but I doubt it will.

@OkoriWadsworth has two questions. First, he wants dream matches for each set of Campeones de Parejas.

Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero - vs. The Steiner Bros. These two teams are so similar, except the Kings have more finesse to the Steiners a bit more hossy.

Gran Akuma and Icarus - vs. The Rockers. Marty Jannetty is Icarus' idol, and their styles would mesh pretty well.

Hallowicked and Delirious - vs. Kevin Sullivan and the Purple Haze. Crazy cultists vs.... other crazy cultists? A true battle of good vs. evil.

The Super Smash Bros. - vs. the Hardy Boyz. The Hardys are a video game tag team, at least in their primes they were, so why not use them as the video game gimmick in their dream match?

The Osirian Portal - vs. Edge and Christian. The Portal and the Canadian Blondes are complementary teams.

Fire Ant and Soldier Ant - vs. the Briscoe Bros. Why not put the Briscoes against their Chikara variant?

Ares and Castagnoli - vs. The Road Warriors. What better team to go up against Castagnoli and his slightly beefier tag partner than the Roadies?

Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw - vs. Jushin Liger and El Samurai. The very definition of a dream match.

Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano - the Rock 'n Roll Express. Elemental heels vs. archetypical faces.

3.0 - vs. Glamarella. The comedy potential in this match would be off the charts.

The Young Bucks - vs. the British Bulldogs. Technical ecstasy.

Jigsaw and The Shard - vs. the Dudley Boyz. I feel like the Pieces of Hate would do well against a hossier team.

Second, what's my Pandora quickmix?

I don't use Pandora, so I really don't get how a "quickmix" works, so the following is my iPod on shuffle for ten songs!

"Overload" Soilwork
"Caralho Voador" Faith No More
"D'Yer Ma'Ker" Led Zeppelin
"Young Lust" Pink Floyd
"Killer Queen" Queen
"Time After Time" Ozzy Osbourne
"Drive My Car" The Beatles
"Easy Mark" Nerf Herder
"Have a Cigar" Pink Floyd
"Take Me to the River" The Talking Heads

@WetOREO wants to know if WWE right now is a hole filled with garbage.

Filled with garbage? I would disagree. WWE isn't firing on all cylinders right now, but I feel like the good stuff they have going for it, like Bryan vs. the Wyatts, the gobs and gobs of wrestling on TV every week, and the entire existence of NXT, is just so good that I don't care that they've warmed up Cena vs. Orton for the billionth time. Even so, I'm not entirely against that match headlining TLC because they've actually freshened their rivalry up.

@Jessico09 has two. First, he wants me to fantasy book a match between in-prime versions of Joe Biden and Barack Obama in a steel cage.

I don't think this scenario is believable. They're bros, right? I say the match starts off okay, but then Ronnie Reagan sends his hired goons Newt Gingrich and George W. Bush to engage in tag team broadway action. The melee ends in a shutdown, as everyone up and leaves. Then all the people whom our government has lobbed bombs at over the years rush the ring and tear everyone apart limb from limb.

Second, my favorite Delirium beer, Tremens, Noel, or Nocturnum.

I will diplomatically say first that Brouwerij Huyghe's Delirium line is fantastic. Second, I think I'd have to go with Nocturnum. What can I say, I dig the darker beers.

@RealRobPandola also has two. First, he wants to know my thoughts on Davey Richards being booked for Cage of Death, and if this match is his last indie appearance, what should he do?

He should definitely go out on his back, first and foremost. He hasn't been scheduled for an opponent yet, but if he actually shows up (not a guarantee, mind you), he should probably put over AR Fox, Shane Strickland, or even Matt Tremont. As for him being there in and of itself? Look, I'm as down on Richards as anyone else, but at the very least, you can go get concessions during his match if it's really bad. If it's good, then bonus! If I were able to make it to Cage of Death, it would have been for the spectacle of the main event and the awesome dream match potential of Drew Gulak vs. Chris Hero. Richards is inoffensive.

Second, who has the best omelets?

To be honest, I don't eat whole egg omelets. I actually like egg white omelets, but either way, just go to a corner diner. Screwing up an omelet is pretty hard.

@KillFriskey asks what my three favorite Christmas movies are.

1. National Lampoon Christmas Vacation - Probably my favorite installment in the series, to be honest.

2. Die Hard - I mean, it DOES take place during Christmas.

3. The Year without a Santa Claus - Fuck you, the Miser Bros. own.

@wildvulture wants to know my top three moments in history where I'd want the Shield to come out and interfere and alter.

1. The Beer Hall Putsch. The Shield takes out Hitler before he can putsch and boom, no WWII, no Holocaust.

2. The Oval Office, circa November 1964, preventing President Johnson from getting us involved in Vietnam.

3. Time-Warner Headquarters in 2001, taking out the people who wanted to sell WCW to Vince McMahon.

@JordiScrubbings wants to know my thoughts on the Florida Championship Wrestling name dying with the closure of the Tampa facility later this month, and whether another promoter should take the name up.

What's in a name? I would rather spend time building up a promotion on reputation and quality other than slapping a preexisting name on it.

TJ Hawke of Free Pro Wrestling asks why I don't watch more NJPW.

I would love to watch more New Japan, which at this point is zero. I would love to watch every promotion I can get my hands on, because wrestling is amazing and all the different interpretations of it are so fun to watch. But more than my money situation, which is actually quite good, I just don't have the time to watch all the stuff I want to watch stateside, let alone worldwide. I love indie wrestling, and I dig WWE a whole lot. They're the companies that I can support best here, so they're in my inner circle. Maybe a day will come where I can open up and watch more, and thus, I'll watch more NJPW. Today is not that day though.

@chudleycannons asks if I've seen any good ROH TV matches lately.

Sadly, no. I don't watch the ROH TV show, but I will say that going into their HDNet archives is a good bet. Bryan Danielson and Austin Aries had a really good match in 2009, plus a lot of the excellent Kevin Steen (and Steve Corino) vs. El Generico (and Colt Cabana) feud from 2010 played out on television.

@ray_fuck wants me to fantasy book a WWE with X-Men.

If Vince McMahon were still in charge, he'd feed every single one of those mutants to John Cena, but I'm going to assume Prof. Xavier uses mind control to make McMahon book a competent promotion around the mutants. So, right now, the Undisputed Champion would be Juggernaut. I need a strong heel to be on top going into WrestleMania. The Intercontinental Champion is the up and coming Gambit, while the United States Champion would be the Silver Fox. Tag Team Champions are still the Rhodes Boys, because I'm pretty sure Dusty Rhodes dodged the Mutant Registration Act back in the '70s. Wolverine would be set up to win the Royal Rumble. Magneto would challenge Undertaker's streak.

Finally, @lodownwrestling asks if Aiden English's gimmick would translate to the main roster.

I think unfettered, his gimmick would be gangbusters on the main roster. Two things work against him. First, Damien Sandow's gimmick is very similar to his, and I'm not sure WWE writers or Vince McMahon would be able to do both justice. Second, would WWE allow English the full battery of his gimmick every week to allow him to get over? I can't answer that question, but he would have to be able to sing every week in order to fully establish himself.

Sami Callihan, Hacker?

December 9, 2013, 6:05 am

≫ Next: The 2013 Bloggie Awards Nominations: Group, Tag Team, Manager

≪ Previous: Twitter Request Line, Vol. 56

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He's a hacker now Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

So, Sami Callihan made it to NXT and was given the appellation "Solomon Crowe" from the Developmental Name Generator. I assumed he would be working an extension of his indie persona with a little more WWE flair to it, but you know what people say when you assume. Anyway, he made his long-awaited debut attacking Kalisto, aka the former Samuray del Sol, while the lights were turned out. The catch? He controlled the lights from his tablet device. Yes, Solomon Crowe has been bestowed with a hacker gimmick. See after the jump:

My thoughts on two minutes of video first go to Kalisto, who got extensive amounts of mic time. I've seen a little of what he can do in the ring, but from that limited amount of footage, I saw a guy who will translate well into WWE. Onto Crowe and his gimmick, he feels like a 20 year-old anachronism on the surface. The hacker gimmick was dated in movies as soon as it was implemented, mainly because Hollywood had no fucking idea what being a hacker actually entailed.

However, Crowe blacking the lights, beating up Kalisto, turning them on with a tablet, and then leaving under the cover of dark feels like a simple enough introduction to me. Already, NXT's creative team seems to have gotten "hacking" better than Hollywood, but again, Crowe's debut is the very definition of a small sample size. However, gimmicks in NXT have been mostly hits so far. Of all the name characters in developmental, the only one I feel has an awful, awful persona attached to him is CJ Parker. Everything else seems pitch-perfect.

And hey, even if the hacking shit turns out to be a turd of a gimmick, I certainly know Crowe has the chops to succeed based on his insane charisma and supreme ring skills. Either way, his developmental run has gotten off to an interesting start, par for the course for the man formerly known as the New Horror.

The 2013 Bloggie Awards Nominations: Group, Tag Team, Manager

December 9, 2013, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Wrestling Is Still Cool? Won't the Real Tursas Please Stand Up?

≪ Previous: Sami Callihan, Hacker?

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All Shield Everything Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to the nominations for the 2013 Bloggie Awards, the only awards sponsored and sanctioned by The Wrestling Blog. Much like last year, I will be announcing the nominees via slow release over the next couple of weeks before announcing the winners in the last week of the year. The following are the first three categories up for consideration:

Group of the Year - For the group, stable, or cadre of wrestlers who best exemplified teamwork, continuity, and entertainment value.

Prior Winners:
2009 – Team FIST (Chuck Taylor, Gran Akuma, Icarus)
2010 – Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Claudio Castagnoli, Ares, Tursas, Sara del Rey, Daizee Haze, Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, Lince Dorado, Pinkie Sanchez, Dieter von Stiegerwalt)
2011 – Not Given
2012 – The Submission Squad (Davey Vega, Evan Gelistico, Gary Jay, Pierre Abernathy)

And the nominees are…
The Business (Angel Blue, Chris Trew, Jojo Bravo, Ricky Romida, Thomas Shire) – Chris Trew's band of merry misfits reigned terror over the tag team division in Anarchy Championship Wrestling and made Jack Jameson's life a living hell. Through evil tactics and downright tomfoolery, the group has been a staple in the current gang war landscape of the landmark Texas promotion.

Mount Rushmore (Adam Cole, Kevin Steen, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson) – In a promotion that usually doesn't have stables, a super cartel of baddies running shit is a big deal. Their reign of terror may be still somewhat new, but they've already shaken up the order, monopolized the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla titles, and made a new heroine out of Candice LeRae.

The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins) – The paramilitary group stormed from the crowd into the hearts of WWE fans at the very end of last year, but they took the company by the shorthairs and dragged it around by their whims in this year. They have yet to have a bad match as a group, and they've been lynchpins in no fewer than two major angles this year alone.

The Submission Squad (Davey Vega, Evan Gelistico, Gary Jay, Pierre Abernathy, Hot Young Briley [AIW only]) – Last year's winners continue to make waves this year both in ACW and Absolute Intense Wrestling, where they took on Dolph Ziggler's little brother and took on the questionable action of harassing Tracy Smothers. While I'm not sure I'd want to mess with a Wild-Eyed Southern Boy, I'm also not a highly-trained group of pro wrestlers with supreme trolling abilities.

The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan, Luke Harper) – The ethereal yin to the Shield's gritty yang, the Wyatts debuted with the intent of destroying the WWE machine. They've bitten off big pieces of that machinery to great effect, and while I feel the best of them is yet to come, they've done well enough to be recognized this year.

Tag Team of the Year - For the tandem that in addition to displaying optimal entertainment value and wrestling prowess on their own, also displayed the best teamwork and cohesion as a unit both in and out of the ring.

Prior Winners:
2009 – Chris Jericho and the Big Show
2010 – The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)
2011 – The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson)
2012 – The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied)

And the nominees are…
Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw and The Shard) – Jigsaw and his twisted mirror image were as dynamic a team in Chikara as any could be, terrorizing Mike Quackenbush, having excellent matches, and garnering storyline momentum into a win over 3.0 for Los Campeonatos de Parejas. While their team-ups were more and more sparse after the unfortunate events at the Trocadero, the Pieces of Hate put in a strong enough five months at the beginning of the year to get them on the list.

The Rhodes Boys (Cody Rhodes and Goldust) – They were only a team for the last quarter of the year, but them Fightin' Sons of the Big Dust made such an impact on WWE programming that their nomination feels natural. Their two month arc against The Shield was one of the best stories WWE told in the last five years, and a lot of that credit goes to those performers. Plus, the matches with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins produced some of the most stellar in-ring work in WWE all year.

The Shield (Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins) – When the Hounds of Justice started chasing gold, Reigns and Rollins branched out into the tag division to stellar results. AS mentioned above, their feud with the Rhodeses produced some of the best tag matches all year, and their teamwork remained as crisp and fluid as it was with Ambrose in the fold as well.

Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan and Kane) – Their run came to an end in the summer, but they were still lighting the WWE on fire, even if their shtick was mostly recursive from their original pairing. Still, I don't blame the duo for the material given from Creative, and the fact remains that they executed it brilliantly regardless. Their run of matches together, against The Shield or otherwise, cannot be ignored either.

The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) – The Young Bucks have an almost permanent nomination in this category because they are the best tag team in the world. This year, they rocked the house in DDT4, had stellar matches in promotions the country over, and of course, continued redefining what being a heel on the indies means.

Manager of the Year - For the character who did the best to enhance another wrestler's status and artistic value without actually being a full-time wrestler.

Prior Winner:
2012 – Veronica Ticklefeather

And the nominees are…
Chris Trew– The leader of the Business is everything one could ask for in a classic manager. He roused rabble among his charges' opponents and wasn't afraid to take a few lumps for them in the name of distraction. Plus, he rocks a sweet sweatband on his forehead.

Paul Heyman– Heyman played CM Punk's foil for most of the year, and he put out some of his best microphone work in the process. Common logic dictates that a manager should not be placed with someone who doesn't need him, and on the surface, neither Punk in the beginning of the year nor Brock Lesnar all year needed Heyman to help get heat. However, he added to all his charges in some way, so he gets the nod.

Sidney Bakabella– Bakabella added three wrestlers to his fold in 2013 and built one of the best evil forces across the Wrestlings Are universe, period. His unmistakable old school rasp and fearsome scowl make him the perfect complement to his Wrecking Crew.

Sylvester LeFort– The new kid on the block collected a redneck and a hoss, put himself on some money, and became one of the best managers in WWE, even though he was still in developmental. One could argue that neither Scott Dawson nor Alexander Rusev were lighting the world on fire before they got with LeFort, but afterwards, his cocksure direction gave them a foothold.

Zeb Colter– He showed up tailing Jack Swagger one day, and within a month, he was leaps and bounds more popular than his charge. One could suggest that using a racist, xenophobic shtick to get more over than the guys the manager is supposed to be guiding is a strike against him, but at the same time, Colter has been so goddamn entertaining in his own right that he deserves mention.

Wrestling Is Still Cool? Won't the Real Tursas Please Stand Up?

December 9, 2013, 10:30 am

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Photo via @LolitaSinn

Ares' warnings have come to fruition, and the BDK showed up to close Wrestling Is Cool in the snow yesterday. Or did they? Confusion arose out of Ares' appearance, as according to Babs (@WritingFemme), well, maybe that arm isn't exactly shut down:

I'm not sure Wrestling is Cool is shut down or just owned by the BDK now. The Colony was fired and I think Gavin was too.
— Babs (@WritingFemme) December 9, 2013

Also according to Babs, poor Thom was assaulted by Eddie Kingston, Gavin Loudspeaker was assailed by the BDK (which is an amazing bit of continuity, even if Jakob Hammermeier is... well, missing in action?), and as noted in the tweet above, several mainstays were fired from the promotion. The events of yesterday beg the question as to whether total chaos under totalitarian rule would make a shutdown actually preferable.

However, while Ares came to stake his ownership claim over the coolest of the Wrestlings Are, his companion was someone entirely different than the behemoth bringer of doom known as Tursas. The Finnish warmonger took to Twitter this morning to dispel any rumor as to his involvement in the takeover of the company:

There is Tursas and only Tursas. No other assumes helm. No interest in acts or plots of others. If you seek for Tursas this is lone contact.
— Tursas (@WarTursas) December 9, 2013

So, if Tursas wasn't the one underneath the helm, who exactly was Ares' accomplice yesterday? Could he have been one of the minions introduced by Dr. Cube at the Wrestling Is Awesome shutdown? Sinn Bodhi/Kizarny didn't bring the Batiri with him to destroy Art; eyewitnesses said that those same minions were at both shutdowns.

All the above begs the question as to whether the Gekido really were the perpetrators of the Wrestling Is Intense shutdown. Ares, Bodhi, and Cube are all unique characters, unable to be duplicated, but the Gekido are all masked by their very identities. Then again, could the Gekido also be the those otherwise masked henchmen?

The pieces are starting to come together, even if the end portrait is still muddled. In my personal opinion, that Wrestling Is Cool settled on a home in Philadelphia may an important detail in why it wasn't shut down. Chikara did meet its apparent doom in the City of Brotherly Love. If a resistance were to be mounted, shouldn't it begin within the same city limits?

The Past is Prologue: Total Divas Episode 14

December 9, 2013, 1:30 pm

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Gizmo :( Photo Credit: WWE.com

We're finally an episode away from the "for realsies this time" season finale of Total Divas, and it's a slow climb to some pretty moments that will actually make my cynical black-hearted ass smile. (Alert to Daniel Bryan obsessives: Next week is the wedding proposal Daniel makes to Brie Bella, which will bend my heart into so many contortions.) So we have to get the pure dramatics and sadder circumstances out of the way. And oh god, there's a lot of that because obviously.

But before we get to that, I should note that I felt pretty uncomfortable about this week's episode. The drama was pretty much as is, but at one set moment, we see a decent picture into the psyche of Nattie and TJ upon the death of their cat Gizmo. Now, of course, reality TV will document why suddenly this recurring presence in one of the show's key relationships is suddenly gone, but it almost borders on being too real. I have no doubt that if Nattie and TJ felt the emotion was too raw, then they would have the discretion to not see it broadcast (and to validate the heartache that comes from losing any part of your family, even a pet). Still, it was almost too much, even in a genre where scenes like Lamar Odom desperately calling the Kardashians because he doesn't know what to do are a common occurrence.

That's not to say I don't understand its place, and for once it reminded us of the actual humanity inside Nattie and TJ as opposed to whatever it was that Nattie's been doing for the past few weeks. Still, we're talking about a genre that is ostensibly faked and made into a meta-Inception by being a show about a business that is fake but that we're seeing a slightly faked reality therein (my head hurts). It's not hard to get cynical and be scared that real heartache is being wrenched for fakey drama. I don't know if I needed to see Nattie and TJ seemingly really breaking down over losing a part of their lives or more cynically being told to play up their actual emotions in front of the camera. It's the type of thing that makes it really hard to defend reality television as more than a guilty pleasure.

Still, as a show balance, we have to go through the bitter tears to get rewarded with the type of moments that even under a cynical lens are hard to mess up.

1. AJ Lee

As someone who is not on the show, it is funnier to see AJ's shadow still loom over the entirety of the program. AJ is shown twice during the show entirely in the in-ring segments, and while they weirdly don't cover her anti-Total Divas speech, they do show her inherent dominance in the division.

2. Nattie

It'd be unfair to put her lower because of how I've viewed her this season, as despite how I felt about if the situation is cynically* framed, Nattie's emotions do feel genuine to the point that even when they get a new cat and Nattie does cheesy things with it, it just feels right. Nattie and TJ are good cat people. That's not an insult.

* Sorry for word over-use.

3. TJ

Same, but extra praise for his return match being against the Un-Bo-lievable Bo Dallas.

4. Brie Bella

I think I want to be friends with Brie despite her weird catty fights. She seems so chill outside of that.

5. Trinity

Trinity posed for Jet Magazine and turned me into this subhuman creature who uses terms like stonking to refer to women's bodies. But whatever, we already know that Naomi rules and is attractive and so on. Bikini shoots with Jet are just icing on the cake.

6. Nikki Bella

Most of the other Divas didn't do much this week at all, although weird semi props for Nikki saying the phrase "Come on, oral sex doesn't count" on television.

7. Sandra

I like Sandra as this omnipresent figure. If Total Divas ever needed a narrator, it would have to be Sandra the Seamstress. She's like Peter Sellers in Being There. When Sandra the Seamstress leaves, the point of everything is gone.

8. Eva Marie

There was apparently some resolution to the Eva/Bellas conflict that I guess is left on the cutting room floor, but hey, she didn't have to say much so, not obnoxious!

9. John Cena

Who knew one of the two times Cena raises his voice past a robotic humdrum is to make boob jokes? John Cena? Boob jokes? Why, I never.

10. Jojo

Poor girl. They're going to throw her off the show in a sad fashion, aren't they?

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, December 9

December 9, 2013, 4:35 pm

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Good night, sweet prince Photo via USATSI

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Roy Halladay (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Halladay retired today. I'll always remember being down in Virginia for a cousin-in-law's wedding and hearing Halladay had a perfect game going. I kept following along on Twitter on my shitty old flip phone until we could get back to the hotel, which actually had the game on. Later that year, he'd throw a no-no in the playoffs, and of course, the team repaid him with an utterly flaccid offensive performance against the Giants in the next round. Teammate playoff failures aside, Halladay is one of the most dominant players I've ever watched, and I'm pretty sad to see him retire so young, even by starting pitcher standards.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - What happens when a bunch of crazed backwoods rednecks kidnap you and then give up the night they take you because you're too batshit crazy even for them? You're Daniel Fucking Bryan and you're the best in the goddamn world (most weeks, gotta give it up to Roy, yo).

3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - Look, I'm not saying she should be the next coach of the Texans, but do you think a team coached by Summerlyn would lose twice to the Jaguars? Sorry, the First Lady of Anarchy >>>>>>>> #DUVAAAAALLLLLLLLL.

4. LeSean McCoy (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Dude made Barry Sanders cuts in the snow. IN THE FUCKING SNOW. Some players would shred their ligaments trying to make some of his moves on a well-manicured, healthy, lush grass field on a clear day.

5. Jennifer Lawrence (Last Week: 6) - She owns the box office in Catching Fire, and she'll own Oscar season with American Hustle. SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF J-LAW, NOW.

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 4) - She's starting to count her days as Divas Champion. I hope she can count to like, a billion, unless WWE somehow wises up and brings over Aja Kong.

7. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - Honestly, I'm docking Henry a few spots for not sealing the deal with Summer Rae. (Real talk, though, WWE doing the "big black guy is a lech" again is beyond gross to me.)

8. Belgian Beer (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - They do waffles and chocolate and pomme frites so well that their prowess in brewing is that much more impressive. Belgian beer rules all, even if Stella Artois has goddamn annoying commercials. They're near the bottom anyway.

9. Whoever Runs Social Media for the Atlanta Hawks (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Tooling Darren Rovell is a required act of public stewardship anymore, but when you go all ICE BURN on him, you get a special mention.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: Whenever the SDR Fact Generator is on the fritz, she troubleshoots it by kicking it. She doesn't do so out of anger; the machine was designed to be operated by various kicks. Her short kick generates a fact, her roundhouse powers the machine on and off, and her koppo kick is the troubleshoot kick.

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Instant Feedback: Eris

December 9, 2013, 8:50 pm

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That Slammy might as well have had "To the fairest" written on it Photo Credit: WWE.com

When the water level from the final tidal bore of action and reaction swelling up the muddy banks of the Wishkah River finally receded, the only thing certain in WWE's floodplain is one person stands tall. Not John Cena, Randy Orton, Triple H, CM Punk, Shawn Michaels, Stephanie McMahon, or even Daniel Bryan, the hometown boy with the voice of thousands at his back. The last entity standing is Eris, the Greek goddess of discord.

Lore says that a couple of well-connected folks threw a fancy party for their wedding and invited everyone except Eris, whom the Pantheon agreed was a real downer. Everywhere she went, trouble followed. Arguments, disagreements, strife... all were never too far away from where she stood. Of course, given that every Greek myth ended in some kind of crazy undoing of the narrative (kinda like how WWE tries to craft its own stories, for better or worse), she caught wind of the snub, tossed in a golden apple that said "To the fairest," at the big feast was interrupted by an all out free-for-all among the big three goddesses, Aphrodite, Hera, and the normally level-headed Athena. Funny how both the most rational of folks can be persuaded into a fight over vanity and how ingrained misogyny is in popular culture's history. But I digress.

Tonight, Eris first made her presence felt when Bryan was a lit fuse connected to a powder keg of hometown fans, whose rabidness for wanting to see him given every single accolade is amplified by at least 150 percent thanks to home cookin'. Even before the principals for the unification match on Sunday came out, Seattle let Triple H know the man they wanted in the ring on Sunday holding hardware was neither the Face nor the Champ, but the Beard.

Then Orton spewed his invective, and Cena retorted in the most magical way. Instead of shutting down the crowd and keeping the spotlight on himself, he stoked the flames from Bryan's crowd explosion, and like a Machiavellian lord in the 16th Century Italian peninsula, he got all the support he needed for himself, turning the dueling chants into stone cold support without making it seem like he wasn't putting Bryan over in the process. The polarization got more and more severe.

Then, Eris threw the proverbial apple in to the ring. Orton preemptively struck Cena for the right to take the apple. Punk hopped in when he saw it convenient. Triple H didn't like his investment being touched by a grubby tattooed hobo with shitty drawers, so he knocked back. Michaels didn't want his BFF to get hurt. Bryan saw a chance for revenge. McMahon was just in the way, and that was enough for Trips to finally make his first overt turn against Orton.

And the only one left standing was the one who threw the apple. Eris not only saved RAW and sold TLC, but she may have set a chain reaction towards WrestleMania XXX that could rival the Trojan War in grand scale. Or, her actions tonight could be a one time thing. I got my hopes up too much for the Autumn of Bryan after SummerSlam. Either way, tonight's RAW proved to me once again that sometimes, all a wrestling show needs to feel special is to have a bunch of people in a scrum fighting over a golden apple.

Let's Pretend This Two Are Best Friends

December 10, 2013, 4:45 am

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Photo Credit: WWE.com

Mark Henry was absolutely snubbed from last night's Slammy Awards for "Double Cross of the Year," and I think even he thought he was going to win since he wore his EPIC SALMON SPORTS COAT from said fake retirement ceremony. He did set the precedent of doing epic things while in said coat. Raising Bryan's arm was more subtle than faking his farewell and World's Strongest Slamming John Cena, but it was just as awesome. I want these guys to be best friends, actually. Bryan and CM Punk as allies? Cliche. Bryan and Henry, however? I WILL START THE TUMBLR PAGE RIGHT NOW, SO HELP ME GOD.

Year End Sorting Bins, 2013: Let's Shoot You into the Sun, Okay?

December 10, 2013, 7:30 am

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FFFFUUUUUUUU JAY BRADLEY FFFFFUUUUUU Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

It's time, it's time, it's SORTING TIME, wherein I place all the wrestlers I experienced in 2013 into neat little bins judging on how much or little I liked them. The first category is "Unequivocal Hatred". Placement in this bin doesn't mean I hate the person, because that would be fucking stupid. However, it means I hate the on-screen personality to the point where I'd rather eat hot coals while getting a pedicure from a housecat than watch the following in a wrestling capacity.

Jay Bradley - Figures that a generic looking dude with muscles whose biggest claim to fame before signing was clotheslining a woman after a match to the delight of sweaty assholes at National Pro Wrestling Day got the Gut Check nod to TNA over Brian Cage.

Aksana - I know hating on the Divas is just passé at this point, but every time Aksana makes a step forward, she takes, like a billion steps back. She's the emblem of WWE's problem with women right now. I know it's not her fault per se, but I still hate seeing her in the ring.

Alex Riley - I thought I'd be able to tolerate him better as a part of the broadcast team. He can't even do that right.

Joe Koff - You ever see Multiplicity, and they make the clone of the clone of Michael Keaton? Koff as an authority figure on screen is that clone of a clone.

Wes Brisco - Yay, nepotism!

Shingo Takagi - Still the worst of the Dragon Gate Japanese guys with his stupid hair and utter lack of coordination to go with his annoying in-ring style.

CJ Parker - A hippie, in 2013, played by someone who has no fucking idea what it would mean to be a hippie? WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA, GUYS.

Ethan Page - No, guys, I don't want to see the guy with the domestic violence gimmick get beaten by his opponent. I want to see him get thrown the fuck in jail. And having Seleziya Sparx be in on it the whole time wasn't a brilliant swerve, it was cheap storytelling. And no, he's not even that good in the ring to make up for it.

Just retire already, GAWD Photo Credit: Impact Wrestling.com

Sting - Man, aren't the next two months of STING VS. UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA rumors gonna be rad?

/drinks turpentine

Mike Tenay - Sure guys, defend him because he knew the name of a fucking tope con hilo in 1997 while being part of the clown car that was WCW's commentary booth. It's cute.

Cheeseburger - I honestly shouldn't even put Cheeseburger on here, because really, it's not his fault that he's being asked to go out and sexually assault Maria Kanellis for the amusement of the people in the audience who think sexual assault is fucking hilarious. But then again, he is executing the angle, so yeah.

Kevin Kelly - Do you want to convey you're a cutting edge product? Then sure, the no-brainer hire for your play-by-play announcer is the guy Rock made fun of all the time during the Attitude Era.

Taz - The word "yambag" stopped being cool when Opie and Anthony got booted off the air in 2002.

Garrett Bischoff - See "Wes Brisco," but then realize that Bischoff didn't even have the benefit of extensive training in wrestling before being shuttled into a key role in TNA.

Chavo Guerrero - Of course TNA hired him. Of course.

Larry Dallas - Seriously, what the fuck is this guy's purpose?

Kurt Angle -I get the feeling ragging on Kurt Angle isn't so much worthy but sad at this point. You can tell he's playing out the string in TNA, pretending he's being loyal until he can jump ship to WWE and get paid enough to get decent healthcare and work a Shawn Michaels/Undertaker schedule. But then I realize he got to that state because he'd rather do drugs and kick out of finishers like it was a chinlock and he was Randy Orton, circa 2007. I stop feeling sorry for him and just go back to shaking my head vigorously.

Rampage Jackson, Tito Ortiz, King Mo Lawal - I can understand why TNA would want to sign over the hill wrestlers, but yeah, the washed up MMA d00dz can sit on a railroad spike.

FOREVER HATE U, HUNTER Photo Credit: WWE.com

JBL - MAGGLE, MAGGLE, AIN'T IT FUNNY HOW MRS. FANDANGO DANCES? MAGGLE? THE ALL-BLACKS! MAGGLE! WOMEN BE DOIN' THINGS THAT WOMEN DO! MAGGLE! MAGGLE! EVERYTHING'S TERRIBLE IN THE RING, LET'S TALK ABOUT PLAYING AS ME IN WWE 2-KAY-14!

Dixie Carter - I don't care if she's mildly compelling as a television character now. She's in Triple H territory. Speaking of which…

Triple H - I'm somewhat of a hypocrite, because even though I don't think I was ever vocally on the "wait and see" train, my whole tone of commentary during the post-SummerSlam WWE had a bit of hope to it. I thought Daniel Bryan would be built towards a solid, Survivor Series and WrestleMania story, even though WWE is terrible at following through on hot beginnings. All the while, I was waiting for Triple H to go plaid and make WWE all about him instead of waiting and seeing with his character. I am the worst. But Triple H has hurt me way too much, so I've earned it. I don't care what you think.

From the Archives: Samoa Joe vs. Willie Mack

December 10, 2013, 10:30 am

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Willie Mack is a wrestler I've been high on for a long time because he reminds me so much of Samoa Joe when he was motivated on the indie scene. Mack/Joe has been a dream match of mine for a long time, and lo and behold, it happened for Championship Wrestling from Hollywood. Because of TNA's stupid and selfish rules about video distribution, the match was not released on TV or DVD. However, the enterprising fans of Hollywood won't let such a thing like "the rules" or "TNA" from keeping the masses from seeing this match. Fancams are the best. I have not seen this match yet, but I feel like if I can post any match sight unseen, it would be this match.

2013 Year In Review/2014 Year In Preview: The Indies At-Large

December 10, 2013, 1:30 pm

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Beware flying goats Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Promotion: Various indie promotions around North America

What Happened in 2013: Where to start, where to start. EVOLVE crowned its first Champion (AR Fox), while Johnny Gargano STILL hasn't lost the Open the Freedom Gate Championship. He also turned heel in the process, as most long-reigning babyface Champions tend to do. The wrestling world outside of North Carolina discovered Chiva Kid, but Chiva Kid didn't want to be known as a wrestling goat anymore. He shed his skin and started getting bookings around the country, in Dragon Gate USA included, as Andrew Everett.

In Ohio, #NIXON's invasion of AIW garnered them the Absolute Championship, but after Eric Ryan lost the title to Ethan Page, the group sputtered towards its natural end, at Hell on Earth, with Bobby Beverly defecting to seal the group's fate. As for Page, he won the JT Lightning Memorial Tournament and the Absolute Championship, thanks to a gambit using his girlfriend Seleziya Sparx as controversial bait. OF course, his cockiness gave way to comeuppance as UltraMantis Black defeated him for the title in his first appearance in the company.

Shane Hollister reigned most of the year in AAW, only to be stopped by a barnstorming Kevin Steen, while Southern Illinois saw the rise of a new breed of superstars in Matt Cage, Christian Rose, and Alex Castle. Jeremy Wyatt wrestled everyone and anyone in Kansas City, Kyle Matthews ran in some familiar ruts in the South, and Luke Hawx and Matt Hardy brawled all around the country against each other.

The stars of New Japan invaded Texas for a weekend in October, but if that incursion was the only time one would have checked out the Lone Star State, they would have missed out. Central Texas boomed with several worthy promotions growing and cultivating a viable scene. With the shakeup in the National Wrestling Alliance, the oldest governing body in the art settled in the Austin/San Antonio/Houston area, with promotions like NWA Houston and Branded Outlaw Wrestling reaping the rewards.

Of course, Anarchy Championship Wrestling held serve during the year. Despite losing Rachel Summerlyn for various reasons, the 2012's Promotion of the Year kept strong centering around the Submission Squad, new additions to the American Joshis, a reign of terror by the Business, and ACH ascending to the role of national phenomenon/marquee match performer. Maybe the most intriguing addition to the scene, however, was Inspire Pro Wrestling, which started strong trying to add a more positive influence in both Texas and indie wrestling in America in general.

Northern California, SoCal, East Coast, wherever,  Younger was hot Photo Credit: Devin Chen

Three great promotions closed: Rampage Pro Wrestling, Connecticut Wrestling Entertainment, and Metro Pro Wrestling. The last of those, however, was later announced as being part of a new nationwide televised governing body headed up by Championship Wrestling from Hollywood head bee guy David Marquez, whose problems with the other governing body, the NWA, are very well-documented. If they return in 2014, they will join Hollywood, Championship Wrestling from Arizona, Traditional Championship Wrestling, New York Wrestling Connection, and five other promotions in the Unified Wrestling TV network.

But not all the wrestling has been happening via traditional means. Chuck Taylor has innovated the field of Instagram video-length matches with the implementation of the 24/7 Hardcore Championship. Title changes have been as varied and imaginative as anything else in wrestling this year.

2013 MVP: I find giving one singular MVP to an entire scene difficult, because so many different wrestlers mean so many things to so many regions. I'll give out a few. First one goes to Drake Younger. He built a legend in the death match arena further east, but in a move made out of self-preservation, he gave up the gross violence and branched out. He also moved out to California and galvanized an underrated Northern California scene.

The second MVP I want to give would go to Andrew Everett. North Carolina has been in a lot of fans' blind spots before this year. Lord knows I've paid scant little attention to the Tar Heel State, at least not enough on the level of what it deserves. His performance at National Pro Wrestling Day (as Chiva Kid) put a lot of eyes on CWF Mid-Atlantic, and allowed other promotions in the state, including Premiere Wrestling Xperience, to get some exposure as well. He's also been killing anywhere he's gone, including DGUSA, AIW, and Combat Zone Wrestling (a company I'll look more closely at later on).

2013's biggest innovator Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Finally, Chuck Taylor gets my final MVP handout because he actually innovated. The 24/7 Championship has been one of the most fun things to burst on the scene, and it has combined both classic wrestling threads with some avant garde (for wrestling, of course) strains to create perhaps the most buzzworthy Championship in all of wrestling, if not the most prestigious.

What's Going to Happen in 2014: Chris Hero coming back to the indies changes everything. He's seemingly made his bed outside of Ring of Honor, which is good news for the scene at large. Signing a contract makes sense for any wrestler looking to lock up with a company that employs them every week. Because Ring of Honor's schedule is more sporadic in terms of pure appearances, I don't know why anyone would chain themselves to such a restrictive company. Hero is going to be a huge draw for any company, whether on Internet pay-per-view, on home video, or at the gate.

Kevin Steen also seemingly begun a trend barnstorming across the Midwest at the end of this year. He's already been a regular in Canadian promotions and in PWX, but him going to the big Midwestern promotions like AIW and AAW not only will raise their stocks, but he might entice other big time wrestlers to visit America's heartland.

The biggest wild card, however, seems to be the Unified Wrestling TV network. The idea is ambitious, and I'm not sure it's a network that is going to take off right away. However, if Metro Pro is brought back through this network, then the body has three known quantities (along with NYWC and CWF Hollywood) to prop the entire body up. If this alliance can lead to wrestling growing in places like Utah, Arkansas, and Arizona, then it will be a net win. However, I'm not entirely sure this idea will come together until 2015.

Five Wrestlers to Watch in 2014:UltraMantis Black - Mantis is about as entrenched in Chikara folklore as any wrestler, but he made a bold step out by not only going to AIW, but winning their top Championship in his first match there. With Chikara's future in doubt, Mantis becomes a logical choice to step out and grow his cult following outside of the Chikaraverse. AIW, for all its faults, is a hype machine, and if Mantis becomes a regular there, he could end up growing in stature in fans of indie wrestling around the country.

More than just Ry-bait Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Ricky Starks - You might know him best as the guy Ryback dumped food upon on that episode of RAW earlier this year, but by the end of 2014, he might be known better as the next breakout star from Texas. He's got mad ups and a decent amount of charisma. He'll get his reps in ACW, but I get the feeling that as Inspire Pro Wrestling grows, it will be on the back of Starks.

Fred Yehi - Yehi came to my attention in 2012, but he also developed a rep for being insular, easily homesick, and a bit flaky. He's seemed to have overcome those stumbling blocks a bit. If he gets more and more comfortable traveling, he'll surely be a great fit in several promotions around the country. Imagine him in North Carolina, Full Impact Pro, or even in some of the Northeast promotions. He'd tear down the house.

Heidi Lovelace - Lovelace has become the go-to woman wrestler in the Midwest, holding court in the various Wrestlings Are, AAW, Southern Illinois, and Tennessee. While the ass-kicking she took at National Pro Wrestling Day made me and a few other observers a bit squeamish, she at least proved that she's great at working underneath and taking on the mantel of the underdog. She's also got a great chance at being the one to normalize intergender wrestling in the Midwest because of her size disadvantage to most wrestlers and the ease at which she adopts the underdog fire.

Timothy Thatcher - If anyone can benefit most from Drake Younger making Northern California his new home, it'll be Thatcher. He's one of the best mat wrestlers, and he's been able to acclimatize several opponents into his style without overpowering their own. He's made his way down south in the state, and if he can make it into CWF Hollywood on regular basis or even in PWG, he'll blow up, guaranteed.

Three Things I Want to See Happen in 2014:1 – Unified Wrestling TV playing a part in National Pro Wrestling Day - Last year, NPWD opened up promotions like International Wrestling Cartel, CWF Mid-Atlantic, and CTWE to the rest of the country. Metro Pro and NYWC, two companies part of this new Unified Wrestling TV network, also took part in the festivities. NPWD is about celebrating pro wrestling, and what better way to celebrate the art than by giving locals from promotions that might not be as exposed. If I were Mike Quackenbush and David Marquez, I'd be blowing up each other's phone lines and getting the affiliates spots on the show along with companies like Wrestling Is Fun!, Beyond Wrestling, and Combat Zone Wrestling.

2 – New markets opening up - Wherever people are living in North America, pro wrestling seems to exist on a local level. However, for as many promotions exist in America, I'm still baffled as to why certain markets don't have stronger presences around the country. Granted, a ton of major cities have strong wrestling presences that promote and distribute either via YouTube or DVD sales. However, some areas that I'd think should have big wrestling scenes don't seem to have them.

For example, Denver produced Vader and Bison Smith, and is the hub city in the Rocky Mountains. Why doesn't it have a more visible scene? Seattle is lumped between two strong wrestling areas in Oregon and British Columbia, and as last night's RAW proved, it can be a red hot town for mainstream stuff at least. However, it doesn't have a major promotion. West Texas has Dory Funk still training people for crying out loud. What about Mississippi? Winnipeg? DC? Richmond? Granted, the embarrassment of riches that comprises the indie scene in North America is about as strong as ever, and I might seem a bit greedy, but at the same time, I think everyone who lives near a major hub in America deserves to have a strong, well-run independent promotion to go to once or more a month.

3 – More content on YouTube - More and more content, whether via fancam or official promoter release, is ending up on YouTube, which is the most excellent development in wrestling, period. For as many promotions who rely on DVD and other home video sales to supplement their income, at least five other promotions are out there who thrive on local, strong gates. Still other promotions have local television. Any promotion that has TV in their home area has no excuse not to put their weekly show on YouTube for free. Other companies that aren't putting together well-produced content for distribution on Sorgatron, Highspots, or Smart Mark would be doing their wrestlers a major disservice by not putting their names out there for viewing at least. The worst thing that would happen would be the videos not getting any hits, which is a pretty safe low point to land at.

The Best Moves Ever: The Lasso from El Paso

December 11, 2013, 5:10 am

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I don't have a universal standard or even list of standards for what makes a submission move good or great, but one thing that helps the case of any hold is if it affects more than one body part or if it has more than one pressure point. The Lasso from El Paso has three unique ones, and it was the signature move of one Eddie Guerrero to boot. Of course it's one of my favorite submission holds ever.

Your Midweek Links: The Rock Says Nothing of Substance

December 11, 2013, 7:30 am

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The new Mania logo. You like? Photo via International Object

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 123: Joey O. [The McMahon That Feeds]

- Developing a sustainable relationship with a man in his underwear [The Classical]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: The Slammy Awards and Brandon Grows Up [With Leather]

- Question: does it matter what you think? [The Only Way Is Suplex]

- A reading of the WrestleMania 31 logo [International Object]

- DVD REVIEW: WWE's Greatest Rivalries, John Cena vs. Randy Orton [PizzaBodySlam]

- Vintage Best and Worst of NXT, Episode 1: [With Leather]

- Lies WWE told us: The Fingerpoke of Doom [Juice Make Sugar]

- Classics on Demand [International Object]

- Seven Things: Show ideas for WWE Network [Wrestling on Earth]

- ON WWE ratings, buyrates, and storytelling [Ole Wrestling]

- The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling: The Ghost of Earl Hebner's Dignity [With Leather]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- On Nelson Mandela's life, death, and the test of a man [The Smoking Section]

- The everyday hero behind Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Taco has passed away [Gawker]

- The Burger Diaries: Post Office Cafe [Holzerman Hungers]

- How to make scrambled eggs, the most controversial of breakfasts [Foodspin]

- Marra's Pizzeria [Doughboys]

- Cookin' with ATVS: Lean turkey/deer chili [And the Valley Shook]

- Foodball: Smoked jalapeno cheddar crisps [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- An outrageous proposal: Michael Vick, the closer [Bleeding Green Nation]

- What not to do when your favorite athlete's rape charges are dropped [Jezebel]

- Why I believe Jameis Winston's accuser [Deadspin]

- *FREE* Hotlist for Longhorns' next head coach [Good Bull Hunting]

- Russell Wilson for MVP? Settle down, everyone [The Footbawl Blog]

- Great comebacks to sexist comments [Groupthink]

- Jon Stewart goes after the insane 'War on Christmas' bullshit [Jezebel]

- My kid's insane Christmas list [Deadspin]

- If fake Simpsons movies had real posters [Warming Glow]

- The Atlanta Hawks 1, Darren Rovell 0 [With Leather]

- The Toplist results: The 15 greatest Generation VI Pokemon [Dorkly]

- ON Smarm [Gawker]

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The 2013 Bloggie Awards Nominations: Social Media, Comedian, Announcer

December 11, 2013, 10:30 am

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Their funny is always money Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

The nomination roll-out continues!

Social Media Award - For the excellence of using social media and the Internet to advertise, interact with fans, or otherwise entertain.

Prior Winners:
2011 – Zack Ryder
2012 – Wrestling Is

And the nominees are:
Beyond Wrestling - For a company that burst out of the scene as a major independent promotion, built on DVD revenue, they still present an awful lot of content for free. No surprise, they're still among the fastest growing wrestling promotions in America. Also, their Twitter account keeps fans engaged and talking not just by shilling and advertising, but by spurring discussion.

Chuck Taylor - I would say innovating a micropromotion over nothing but Instagram video counts as using the Internet to entertain, right? Not only does he present actual matches, but nearly all of them are creative as hell in their execution.

Colt Cabana - The Art of Wrestling podcast is still rolling in its third year, and Cabana's direction and interview skills are the ultimate reason. He keeps getting a wide variety of guests, from WWE dudes to international stars that domestic audiences may not know, and his live podcasts are always a treat.

Kevin Steen - In addition to being the best wrestler to follow on Twitter, Steen's YouTube show has a goofy and warm kitsch value that has added to the extended wrestling universe out of the ring.

Steve Austin - Austin has been a great addition to the wrestling media in the last year. A lot of his impact comes with the unprecedented access he gets as the biggest draw of all-time, but he's used his time with the gets he's had on his show and made for some fascinating podcasts.

Comedian of the Year - For the wrestler/act that has done their best to make people laugh and master the art of wrestling comedy.

Prior Winners:
2009 – Santino Marella
2010 – Santino Marella
2011 – Colt Cabana
2012 – 3.0

And the nominees are:
3MB - Comedy heels never get the shine in WWE, but that state has been standard operating procedure forever and a day. Unlike other acts meant only to lose, 3MB, no matter the situation, seems like they put everything into their act, which is money.

Fandango - Fandango took a Dancing with the Stars gimmick and rolled with it. Sure, it was supposed to come off seriously, but he never lost himself too much in the gimmick. Everything he did was dipped in self-awareness, and when he was segued into comic relief, he shined.

Los Ice Creams - They had me at "ME GUSTA RANDY ORTON!" at National Pro Wrestling Day, but any card they were on held a guarantee of at least one segment of non-stop comedic brilliance. They are the Chikaraverse's avatars.

Santino Marella - After a rough year last year, Marella bounced back with some of the funniest and best-timed segments and matches of the year. When he's really tuned in, he brings an air of levity to WWE programming that's unmatched.

The Submission Squad - They've been embroiled mostly in serious stories in their home promotion of ACW, but in AIW and especially in the Chikaraverse, they've been able to show their funny bone. I still can't get over how absurdly brilliant Gary Jay in a barn owl costume is.

Announcer of the Year - For the announcer who best was able to convey the action in the ring with clarity, charm, and bemusement

Prior Winners:
2009 – Matt Striker
2010 – Bryce Remsburg
2011 – Excalibur
2012 – Bryce Remsburg

And the nominees are:
Bryce Remsburg - Remsburg should just be called Ol' Reliable at this point. No matter what match he's calling, he's going to put it over all while adding in his requisite amount of homespun charm and just enough off-task humor to add flavor.

Denver Colorado - A lot of times, he's in the booth by himself, which is hard enough without having too much dead air. He's super enthusiastic about the matches, and he's never at a loss for filling in the audience about Beyond Wrestling's web of narrative.

Excalibur - Excalibur is another shoo-in to make the nominee list every year, but because he's a master at balancing shtick with calling the action. He has impeccable chemistry with any number of broadcast partners, and he's proven able to go by himself as well.

Renee Young - Her understated announce style is such a great balance to the bombast in the typical WWE booth, even in NXT. Where she shone best was in backstage interviews, where she not only held her own asking the questions, but nailed the facial expressions and reactions to the answers and other things happening, like bailing out when her Spider Sense for the Wyatt Family kicked in.

William Regal -Regal is the ultimate proof that loud and obnoxious isn't the only thing that works in a WWE broadcast booth. As the anchor of the NXT color commentary chair, he not only adds to every match he calls, but he brings his wit and wisdom through anecdotes and chestnuts.

The Rock Deserves Not Your Decorum

December 11, 2013, 1:00 pm

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The Rock was in the wrong, and Brandon was in the right to be even more hostile than he was Photo Credit: WWE.com

Brandon Stroud has come under a bit of fire lately for a comment he made to The Rock on Twitter regarding his language towards women in character. I will not get into what his thoughts on the subject are, because he got into them pretty deeply in the Best and Worst this week. Plus, he's a big boy, and he's handled himself pretty ably so far. I don't need to speak for him. I will say I agree with him and support him 100%. The Rock, as a babyface, really shouldn't be stooping to using degrading language along gender lines to get heat on Vickie Guerrero, and Guerrero should probably also realize (since according to The Rock, she collaborates with him and approves the promos/material) that allowing that kind of line of fire to be used against her sets back the perception of women not only in her profession, but in general.

However, some of those who agree with Stroud on the subject have bemoaned his tone with Rock or levied other semantic complaints. Basically, some who have disagreed with him, those who would agree with him otherwise, are criticizing his methods and attacking him for being a "douche" or not being tactful enough. Those people have turned his exchange with Rock on Twitter into a meme on Tumblr, criticized him in comments on Best and Worst, or have just sub-tweeted him. Honestly, that line of debate against Stroud bothers me the most because it represents a virulent idea that diplomacy is a must in social debate.

First off, what about what Stroud said was wrong? He tweeted to Rock in an attempt to get him to stop talking to women like they were garbage. When has Rock ever talked to a woman on-screen like they were a human being? I could understand if he were a heel and some white knight face were to come out and take him to task for his rampant misogyny. But the point of most of Rocky's shtick, including the Rock Concert, is to get people to cheer him while he belittles someone else for various reasons. Strafing Triple H for using his connections to cheat to win is one thing. But villainous actions deserve to be called out, and equating an evil action to looking like a "hooker" is a damaging equivalency, one that continues to demonize the female gender just by accident of birth.

But, for one second, I'm going to pretend that what Stroud tweeted was incendiary because of reasons other than the truth hurting like a motherfucker. Diplomacy only works when shown between two equal parties or by the party that has the advantage. For example, the Soviet Union and United States had to show decorum to each other because both had the capability to create a faithful, more destructive version of the Day of Lavos if they got too hostile. Diplomacy was definitely on the table out of necessity of self-preservation. However, could Grenada show decorum and follow stuffy protocol when the US was looming large? No, America had a decided power advantage. They didn't have to play nice with Grenada upon their request because they could be bullies. In order for diplomacy to work, the US would have to be the bigger "person" so to speak.

If anything, Stroud probably had more room and reason for hostility. Decorum is a false construct used by those in power to deny the rights of those they oppress, and whether that power comes in fame, success, or even number of Twitter followers who will have your back, Rock had those advantages. The treatment of women in wrestling has been such that people who perpetrate their status as second-class citizens need a good lashing out against. They deserve fire and brimstone, and yet when they get it, those with a legitimate beef end up getting brushed aside at best until the groundswell is so great that they can't be refused a voice.

Whether it's someone like Rock accusing Stroud of "mouthing off" with the sentence of "putting him in his place," or someone like Dave Meltzer trying to convince himself and his readers that homosexuality in wrestling was a "non-issue" despite the suspicion that Chris Kanyon might not have been the most welcome person in the locker room because of his sexual orientation, the wrestling establishment needs a swift kick in the ass. Stroud is not a douche. He's not setting back his own cause by being rude. He doesn't need to go on a tweet-storming campaign to everyone ever associated with WWE. He's fighting a good fight. Being nice has never helped anyone get anything of note. You've got to fight for what's right, because the people who can make it right have way more power than anyone will ever admit, and rarely will they ever use said power to help the disenfranchised by the kindness of their own hearts.

2013 Year in Review/2014 Year in Preview: Beyond Wrestling

December 11, 2013, 4:30 pm

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Eddie Edwards with Biff Busick in a superplex Photo Credit: Eliot Wish

Promotion: Beyond Wrestling

What Happened in 2013: Beyond Wrestling came into 2013 like a lamb. Weather scrapped their plans for Tournament for Tomorrow 2, and they looked as if they weren't going to run live shows anymore. They scaled back, did a lot of seminars, wrestling school tapings, and secret shows. In typical Beyond style, however, the content they produced in the beginning of the year was pretty spiffy. Biff Busick and AR Fox anchored the pre-big slate schedule with an amazing match at the CZW school. Still, the outlook for Beyond looked as if it would take a backseat to Denver Colorado's (the man, not the place) newest acquisition, Women's Superstars Uncensored.

Then the summer came around, and Beyond started running shows. They started out with We Care a Lot, which was notable for the "name your price" ticket options and the beginning of the big Busick/Eddie "Eddie Edwards" Edwards feud. Then, the shit started getting real. Americanrana was their biggest splash on the scene, featuring imports of Kevin Steen, Masada, Edwards, Colt Cabana, and Johnny Gargano. Then they produced the Point of No Return, which brought back a lot of those big names and added Michael Elgin to the fray.

Then, perhaps their most successful show of 2013 was the aforementioned Tournament for Tomorrow, which was ruined by weather the previous year. Not only did the atmosphere cooperate, the company put together one of the most stacked three day weekends from top to bottom. While wrestlers like Elgin and Edwards came back, the unquestioned stars of the weekend were the wrestlers who went through the wringer in the tournament. Guys like Matthew Palmer, Green Ant, Kimber Lee, Jewells Malone, and especially JT Dunn stepped up and showed that no matter how many already-made stars Beyond brought in, the promotion would always be more about creating new stars and letting the younger and less established guys learn and garner experience.

That combination of experience and star-building may have made Beyond the premiere promotion in independent wrestling in the country. They've showed unmatched ambition in card building. They put their wrestlers in positions to succeed in front of receptive crowds. They've established Fete Music as a new go-to arena in indie wrestling, and lastly but certainly not least, they raised the game for the concession experience at a wrestling show. If you weren't following Beyond Wrestling this time last year, maybe you could have gotten away with it, but you now have no reason for them not to have your attention.

He may have been bloodied, but JT Dunn won TFT2 Photo Credit: Eliot Wish

2013 MVP: No question, Beyond's 2013 MVP is Biff Busick. In a company that booked Kevin Steen vs. Masada, a massively successful tournament, and several other top indie stars, Busick yanked the most pertinent headlines through his feud with Eddie Edwards that was couched completely in wrestling matches. The two didn't have an apparent personal issue, and yet each match they had was must see. When you can build cards around just wrestling, that will bode exceedingly well when the company takes the next step and starts upping the angle game.

What's Going to Happen in 2014: Beyond was always full of potential, but the second half of their 2013 saw them start to realize the immense banks of it they had stored. Their course has been ambitiously charted, but where will they go from here? My guess is that they'll begin to build their own legacy and their own legion of stars. Busick, Chris Dickinson, Drew Gulak, and Aaron Epic have already become huge deals both within the Beyond narrative and on the indie scene at large. The next crop seems to be ready to come of age.

JT Dunn took the first step by winning the Tournament for Tomorrow. His next step will be taking on the dream matches against imported, already-built indie wrestlers in main-event level matches. He already started with a match against Michael Elgin, and he also got the final spot on the TFT main card over a sixty-minute iron man match. He's already well on his way. Who will follow him? One guess is Eric Corvis, who is being built up as an arrogant intellectual heel, only made over like a steam punk. HE's been milling about in Beyond since near the beginning, but he only feels like he's catching his groove now.

As for stories, Beyond ended 2013 with somewhat of a clean slate. Edwards left for WWE, Gulak and Dickinson seemed to have cooled it on their hostilities, and while Anthony Stone and Nicholas Kaye still have lingering hostilities, the heat of their beef seems to have cooled a bit. Where will the stories go? I feel like they'll have a renewed focus on tag teams when they start back up at Fete Music in February, but that's the only lean I really have right now. Then again, the beauty in Beyond is that they often will come out of nowhere with a match, a segment, or a character that both steals the scene but also makes total retroactive sense.

Five Wrestlers to Watch in 2014:Black Baron - Baron hit a bad break when an injury kept him out of Tournament for Tomorrow 2. He had to have been one of the favorites to make the finals. Much like Fox, Taka Suzuki, ACH, and Charade who came before him, Baron continues the fine line of high flyers within the company. When he recovers from injury, expect him to get plenty of opportunities, both in tags and singles matches.

Expect more tag action like this in '14 Photo Credit: Eliot Wish

Jewells Malone - I've only seen her wrestle in a handful of matches, but she's definitely got talent and charisma within the squared circle. Beyond has shown they're not afraid to run misogynist vs. woman stories with the Addy Starr/Chris Dickinson feud. Malone was served up to Eric Corvis as fodder for his "Women are dumb and weak" narrative, and even though she didn't win, the setup is there for her to come back and give Corvis the what-for.

Shynron - The Dragon from the Spirit World burst onto the scene this year in both Chikara and Beyond. The former is in limbo, and he's actually hit the ground running in the latter, ending his year with an impressive, non-tournament match on day 1 of the Tournament for Tomorrow. He bears a striking resemblance to ACH in the ring, which is a good thing given how awesome I think the former is, and Beyond will definitely be a place where his talents will be nurtured and developed.

John Silver - New York City seems to be a hotbed for untapped indie talent, and Silver might be the best of that bunch. He has a dash of self-deprecating comedy and natural handle on how to move around the ring, two things that will give him a leg up.

EYFBO - Another New York-based entity, the team of Mike Draztik and the "Funky Monkey" Angel Ortiz look to be a part of a burgeoning tag scene within Beyond. They've already dipped their toes into the pool so to speak, and with other fun and talented teams to go against like Tremendous Investigations and Da Hoodz, I expect big things from the Ludus graduates in 2014.

Three Things I Want to See Happen in 2014:1. Run a show at the ECW Arena - Fete Music seems to be a great home for Beyond Wrestling, and honestly, I wouldn't blame the crew if they wanted to stay put for their big arena shows and let their travel dalliances be limited to seminars, workshops, and wrestling school tapings. However, part of me wants to see them take advantage of the reopening of the ECW Arena for wrestling. That part is borne of selfishness and maybe even a tinge of nostalgic short-sightedness, but I would love to see them take over the Arena and put on a legendary show in a legendary venue. If any company that currently runs shows is able to do so, Beyond Wrestling would be the one to fit that mantel.

2. Continue importing wrestlers from the South - Beyond is a company that will take any wrestler in hungry for a chance to prove him-or-herself no matter what region of the country they hail from, and that attitude manifested itself in their willingness to book wrestlers from below the Mason-Dixon Line on a regular basis. Aaron Epic, Charade, the Washington Bullets, and Black Baron all were regulars down South, and I want that pipeline to continue. I know they've put out feelers to Fred Yehi that didn't work out, but he's a guy that they should keep trying to bring up. Aside from him, wrestlers like Chip Day, the brothers Hamill from Empire Pro Wrestling, Shaun Tempers, Najassism, Amber O'Neal, Kory Chavis, Frankie Ciatso, Mike Cruz, Chasyn Rance, Bobby Moore, and Cyrus the Destroyer all would provide new and unique matchups for the various wrestlers brought in from New England, New York, Philadelphia, Ohio, St. Louis, and Canada who already compete under the Beyond banner.

3. A bear in the ring - C'mon Denver, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Best Coast Bias: We Didn't Land On Main Event, Main Event Landed On Us!

December 12, 2013, 6:40 am

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The Sambo Voltron's getting increasingly non-operational Photo Credit: WWE.com

The temptation is strong. When you're frustrated with your lot in life, it usually is. There's that voice in the back of your head (sometimes dancing on the grave of Good You with maracas) that makes you want to give in, to say eff this and tell everybody what you really think of them, to tell them how sick you are of shucking and jiving for scraps of their attention, and how borderline comforting it would be to be unhinged. Nobody can ignore a monster, after all.

Brodus Clay is not there.

Yet.

But his slow-moving heel turn continued apace on WWEME, ironically enough on the very show where earlier in the year he'd formed Tons of Funk with Tensai Sweet T. That same voice is saying how R-Truth pinning him with a jackknife rollup wasn't his fault. Hadn't he just head-and-arm suplexed that Dolomite wannabe Xavier Woods halfway back to Angel Grove? The only reason they were still around, after all, was that Brodus was just having too much vengeful glee giving into the green-eyed monster. Why not step on their ribs a couple times, give them a few legdrops and nerve holds? Throwing off R-Truth's tornado DDT attempt? That was cake. And maybe a second helping of cake. So Cameron and Naomi looked uncomfortable and noticeably subdued--have you seen Total Divas?

Sometimes they make it look like the Real Hoodrats of Stamford! Sweetness can only talk reason for so long. People who're monsters fall into two classes--those born, and those who conceal it only to unleash hell when they feel like it, the sort of automaton run amok epics and movies're made of that're more horrifying than their brethren. Monsters made still have a thin veneer of empathy to be tapped into--a cataclysm occured, the world brought to bear at a knifepoint between their eyes, and their narrative got overrun by events. Not good, of course, but these things happen in the world; it rains on the just and the unjust alike. Monsters with an on and off switch? Now that's horrifying, not only because the impetus goes from the mass to a dictatorship of 1, but because there's something about solipsistic violence that feels rawer and truer. And in the case of Brodus Clay, it appears the days of shuckin' and jivin' are whittling down, soon to be obliterated faster than you could dial up his parentage.

Speaking of ancestry lines, when it comes to the Divas division, none are better than Natalya's. And with the NattieKat getting her shot at the Lisa Frank Memorial Belt Sunday at CrazySexyCool, the only thing standing betwixt her and her rematch with AJ was Alicia Fox. Now, of course, the BCB has a soft spot for Alicia, who throws the best Northern Lights suplex in the business and has the looks to match. But fait accompli are fait accompli, and despite some nice headscissor work and a vicious-looking kick in the face, the former Women's Champ was ready with her modified Michinoku Driver, MURDERDISCUSSKILL lariat, and Sharpshooter. It wasn't as good as the Nat/Paige showdown down Full Sail way last week, but it was very, very close, and one of the few high points about Total Divas for me is that it's given Natalya a noticeable surge in popularity that she didn't have before the show aired. Whether she rides that (and/or the episode about Gizzy's passing, said the inner Brodus Clay about to turn inside some of us) to a title win against the resident Black Widow Sunday is another matter.

It feels like June was just yesterday, wasn't it? Now we're under a fortnight away from Kringle Day, which means under three weeks to 2014, and for some of us like Curtis Axel and Dolph Ziggler, this year which started off so promising and peaked in the summer cannot possibly end soon enough. For Axel, he went from the triumph of hoisting the Intercontinental Championship overhead on Father's Day to having to be the Punch to a cornfed meathead's Judy in a Main Event opener.

And for Ziggler? You're not the World Champion riding the momentum of a surging, overjoyed crowd who saw you cash in the briefcase to finally get a solid World Championship reign under your belt--you're the guy who loses to Punch. This isn't his fault, of course, but it didn't make it any less annoying to see him fall victim to an easily underthought trope of "attack the other guy's second when I'm about to win the match oh noes I walked into his finisher womp womp". Wouldn't you get the hypothetical winner's purse if your opponent was DQed? Ah, well. All that sturm und drang out of the way, they had an above cromulent display of the pro graps; what stood out was Axel's rapid development more time and attention the second half of the year's given him, even if the flash is uncorked in the offense of others. Dolph's a known commodity: we know he uncorks the best dropkick in the E, that he's liable to go Full Roll--erm, Ziggler on a miss to the corner and end up on the floor, and when he's to bend the knee in the script that sometimes he looks like a snow angel, so devastating does the offense look.

But here, Axel mixed a potion of basics crisply done with a few streaks and innovations--his grandfather's falling axe of a forearm off the second rope echoed silently but brilliantly by taking Dolph off of the second rope with a Perfectplex, the first time I can remember seeing such a maneuver, even if it didn't win the match (it totally should've, since that finisher is awkward at best and incomprehensible at worst). But, hey, it's off to the Rhodes Dynasty and a shot at the big pennies for AxelBack since you matriarch fornicators don't know how to act, and for Dolph, Fandango awaits in the pregame show.

From the big gold belt to curtain jerking the curtain jerker in under six months.

Kind of makes your inner monster want to flip a switch, don't it?

2013 Year in Review/2014 Year in Preview: Combat Zone Wrestling

December 12, 2013, 8:30 am

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The end of an era Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Promotion: Combat Zone Wrestling.

What Happened in 2013: CZW geared up to say farewell to two of its legends in the beginning of 2013. Scuttlebutt had both Adam Cole and Sami Callihan getting snapped up by WWE developmental contracts, so they engaged in one final go-around of their legendary feud. They taunted each other, got in each other's faces, picked each other's poisons, and faced off for one last time on the East Coast. While Cole didn't get picked up by WWE, his commitments in other promotions have effectively ended his CZW career. Callihan, however, did get a contract, and he's now hacking computers down at Full Sail University as Solomon Crowe.

Drake Younger also said farewell, although not to the promotion. The man who earned the nickname the "Ultraviolent Golden Boy" through a series of bloody and grotesque battles in the ring fought in his final deathmatch in 2013. While the decision is probably best for his health and the length of his career, he certainly ended a major era in his life.

Masada began the year as CZW World Champion. First, he fended off a challenge from Christina von Eerie, who came out to prove that men weren't the only ones who could get ultraviolent. Other challengers included Matt Tremont, but it was against mentor Jun Kasai at WrestleCon where Masada broke and let the greed of eternal Championship status turn him towards cowardice and underhanded tactics. Of course, the fact that he was wrestling on a shredded knee didn't help matters either.

Meanwhile, the Campaign for a Better Combat Zone continued on and gained steam. Drew Gulak's promise to clean up CZW hit snag after snag, and it certainly was not a favorite of most fans who wanted their CZW the way it had always been presented to them. However, Gulak kept chugging on until he finally scored a date with destiny against Masada. He took the title and was in possession of the one thing that could legitimize his chance to clean up the company.

A warrior on one knee Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Gulak faced dissension within his ranks, namely from Chuck Taylor, in addition to the assaults from without, but he has survived with the Championship. His greatest challenge, however, is in front of him this weekend at CZW's final event of the year, Cage of Death. His trainer and mentor, Chris Hero, returns to the Combat Zone to try and wrest the Championship from the maniacal wrestling Puritan.

2013 MVP: CZW's most valuable wrestler was a hard choice for me to decide. While Gulak was around for the whole year doing good work, my choice has to be Masada. He was the most fascinating character to me for several reasons. First, his mini-feud with Christina von Eerie actually put CZW on the map for me as a company to watch. Of all the heel turns by long-reigning Champions around the middle of the year, his was the most compelling to me because the idea of a Champion stooping to apparent rule-breaking depths in a company with no rules feels so paradoxical. He made that trope work, however, which is impressive. Plus, he did it all on a majorly destroyed knee, which might not have been the smartest thing, but it was certainly a feat of endurance and toughness.

What's Going to Happen in 2014:I know writing a year-in-review for a company with one show left on the ledger seems a bit shortsighted, but the only real question mark I have for Cage of Death is whether Gulak retains the title or not. While my gut tells me Hero is back to put over his student, my brain tells me that wrestling promoters don't always use a returning superstar's powers for putting other guys over right away. Hero as World Champion would be almost as interesting as Gulak retaining because the face of the Combat Zone has changed so much since he left.

Either way, I feel like 2014 will be Matt Tremont's year. After a health scare earlier in the year, he came back and resumed his mantel of destruction and chaos like nothing had happened to derail him. Either Champion would provide a worthy moment for his coronation. Gulak would be a great, "clean" foil for Tremont's embodiment of the hardcore spirit. Hero would make for a terrific dream match opponent for Tremont.

2014, the year of the Bulldozer? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

I would also look out for more women and Beyond Wrestling superstars to make impacts within the company. Wrestlers like Chris Dickinson, Biff Busick, and David Starr have already ingratiated themselves into the fabric of the company, and CZW will be making their debut at Fete Music later on in 2014. Additionally, DJ Hyde has been named a kayfabe co-owner of Women's Superstars Uncensored, which further entangles Denver Colorado's (the man, not the place!) projects with CZW.

Five Wrestlers to Watch in 2014:Andrew Everett - The former Chiva Kid has lit up rings up and down the East Coast since National Pro Wrestling Day, but he seems to have made the biggest splash in CZW. He's become a huge fan favorite in no time flat, and I expect to see big things from him in 204, especially given how loaded CZW's stable of high flying wrestlers is.

Jessicka Havok - While Christina von Eerie was the first woman to seriously challenge for the CZW World Championship, Havok remains the best option not only to carry a feud for the belt but actually win in credible fashion. She's been on the top of the WSU heap for so long that the challenges are starting to dry up. She's beyond due to conquer the men and show that ultraviolence knows no boundaries along gender lines.

Biff Busick - Busick has gotten his feet wet in CZW, and his stock is only going to rise. His stiffness will be an asset in an environment where the more "real" the action seems, the quicker the fans gobble it up. He's been seasoned in main events on huge indie supershows in 2013. I wouldn't be surprised to see him headline at least one big show for the Combat Zone in 2014.

Shane Strickland - Strickland is another high flyer whose stock is set to soar in 2014. He made some waves two years ago, and was given a platform against AR Fox at National Pro Wrestling Day this year. Despite the match happening in front of a tired crowd during the evening session, Fox and Strickland still were able to inject some life into the flagging fans. Again, CZW has a lot of exciting guys flying over the ring for them, and Strickland could be among the best.

Rory Mondo - He got a few opportunities to show his wares in 2013, but I feel like the coming year will be when Mondo breaks out. He's got decent in ring mechanics, a good handle on bumping, and a bit of an attitude. He's got a better than average shot of breaking out from the midcard and producing some special moments in the next year.

Strickland is one of many to watch in '14 Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Three Things I Want to See Happen in 2014:1. More crossover and integration with WSU - The two companies have a seemingly symbiotic relationship, which is a good thing. However, I would like to see more integration of women competing in CZW, and not just in a segregated women's division. Competitors like Mia Yim, Christina von Eerie, LuFisto, and Jessicka Havok have gone toe-to-toe with the men in the past, which puts CZW on a plane above many major companies. I would like to see them fully integrate and perhaps put the World Championship around the waist of a female competitor.

2. Less blood without ramping down the levels of extreme action - Blood has often been associated with extreme wrestling, but I've seen excellent hardcore matches go off without a drop of premeditated bleeding. Hardway bleeding happens all the time and is more frequent in an environment where shards of glass are flying or blunt objects are used as weapons. However, one of these days, a wrestler is going to unknowingly contract hepatitis and cause a scare within the entire company. Eliminating blading will cut down on those risks.

3. Scout more West Coast talent - CZW is one of a handful of companies east of the Rocky Mountains who has brought over Willie Mack, mainly because they could probably afford it more easily than most promotions. California is a fertile breeding ground for wrestlers, and guys like Pretty Peter Avalon, the RockNES Monsters, the Reno Scum, and Timothy Thatcher would be well worth the plane ticket to bring back east along with Drake Younger.