WrestleMania 29 Countdown Epilogue: The Hall of Fame

Photo Credit: PWI via WWE.com

This year's Hall of Fame class is absolutely loaded. Like, I'm talking 82% of the first 7500+ days of the WWE Championship's existence are going into the Hall this year. A third holder of the WWE Championship, one who was one of the three most important holders of the title in the Attitude Era, will also be going on. The last important holder of the WCW Championship will also be getting his spot in the Hall. So will maybe the most important woman of the last 15 years. And they'll be joined by a bloated, bald, one-percenter douche nozzle. Hey, they can't all be perfect. Here's a look at this year's WWE Hall of Fame class.

Bruno Sammartino - Without Sammartino, there probably is no WWE as we know it today. He may not have been the biggest breakout star nationally, but without him in New York, there's no way that Vince McMahon would have had the base to be able to expand outwards. You would think that it would have been him and not Andre the Giant as the first inductee. So why didn't he end up as the first in the Hall? Well, it had to do with his objection to WWE's direction towards the lascivious.

What made him soften his stance? I'm not sure. Maybe he thought WWE really had slowed down on its drive towards too-edgy programming? I don't know what show he's watching. Maybe if he watched during either one of Linda McMahon's Senatorial runs, he might have a point, but since Linda lost her second campaign, well, I feel like the show has gotten a bit more risque. Regardless, he's going in. Now, I doubt that the Hall of Fame is as much an honor as some people treat it. Given some of the prior inductions and one specific one this year, I feel like it's just a thing that Vince McMahon does to part fans from their money and to tell people in the biz, "Hey, I like you." That being said, even if it's a bit of a farce, the fact that there's a Hall without the seminal Champion in the company's early history, then no one belongs in the goddamn Hall.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Bob Backlund - Backlund, in many ways, was the anomaly during his title run. The then-WWWF and its predecessor, Capital Wrestling, had mostly relied on ethnic babyfaces as their top draws. Antonino Rocca, Sammartino, Pedro Morales, all of those guys were decidedly not of Nordic stock, which played to the heavy Italian and Spanish populations in New York City. So at the time, Backlund as the top babyface Champ went against trend. However, Backlund made it work with his devious strength and in-ring ability. His short-arm scissor deadlift? The stuff of legends.

His run on top was before my time, but how I grew to love him was through his crazy old man run in the early '90s. Yokozuna was the first heel I ever rooted for, but Backlund was the heel I loved the hardest, maybe ever. He inspired me to try and perfect the crossface chicken wing. Plus, if there's one guy who could come back for one more run of the really old guys, it's him. I'd KILL to see Backlund/Daniel Bryan.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Mick Foley - Mama Foley's little boy had a hell of a career, didn't he? I'm not sure people were looking at him as a future WWE Champion when he was getting his ear ripped off by Vader in European rings, but for better or worse, he pioneered a style of wrestling that got really popular. Whether his furthering of death matches is good or bad for wrestling overall is irrelevant to me, though. When you think about it, every style of wrestling that started to come through in the '90s was supremely dangerous in its own way.

Underneath the massive bumping and general insanity, there was a genuinely charismatic, warmly lovable schlub who grabbed at the fans' heartstrings like on a cello. He took so much abuse from guys like the Undertaker, The Rock, Edge, and Randy Orton, and with each shot he took, we felt it too. He was the easiest wrestler to empathize with, because he was the easiest to root for. He was just a regular guy who would do anything to make us happy, whether killing himself or just mentioning the name of the town he was in for a cheap pop.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Booker T - Forget his travails as a singles Champion. Booker T was one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all-time. If you think that's a slight, you underestimate my love for the tag arts. In a company that had large doses of the Road Warriors, the Steiner Brothers, the Outsiders, and the Nasty Boys, Harlem Heat may have been WCW's most important and best tag team. You can make fun of the time he called Hulk Hogan a "n-----," but believe me, the Hulkster had it coming. Then, after he came to WWE, he formed one of the most warmly-remembered tag teams ever with Goldust.

But yeah, the singles stuff wasn't to sleep on either. Poor Booker had to get his moment in the sun in the turmoil of Vince Russo's morass of WCW's dying days. He also had Jeff Jarrett as the assiest foil in wrestling history. In a perfect world, he would have feuded with Scott Steiner for a good year, ending in a worthy final Starrcade main event. But he'd be redeemed somewhat in WWE. Sure, he got Sambo'd by Triple H, but other than that, he had the King Booker run, which was wickedly fun.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Trish Stratus - I know I've belittled Stratus' contributions to WWE in the past few months, and that's totally undeserved on her part. The thing is, it's hard for one woman to change a patriarchy where their sex is institutionally marginalized. I mean, the only sin that Chyna committed was her boyfriend falling in love with the boss' daughter, and she was fired. It's unbelievable the kinds of pressures women like Stratus had to face.

But while she was probably hired for her sex appeal, she rose above that to become a good manager and, the best actual female wrestler they had on their roster of all-time with the exception of Fabuluous Moolah at the time she retired. She actually got to be in memorable stories, work matches longer than thirty seconds, and be something of an icon for women fans. I wouldn't exactly call her a feminist icon, but at some point, you have to realize, even begrudgingly, that there's only one singular woman who can change how her gender is portrayed in WWE, and she's the daughter of the current CEO, married to the heir apparent, and the one inducting Stratus into the Hall this year.

Donald Trump - Fuck this guy. So. Hard.