Quantcast
Channel: The Wrestling Blog
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 4899

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 30

$
0
0
Photo & Video Sharing by SmugMug
Morton! Gibson! Still going today!
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Or don't wait for it actually. I'll try to get everything for this feature no matter when in the week you shoot me the Tweet. Anyway, here we go.

Kicking things off, @Enrico_Palazzo_ wants to hear some Air Supply.


Next up, a two-part question from @OkoriWadsworth. First, what is my favorite recipe for gravy?

Being that I'm a man that comes partially from great Italian stock and who married into a full-blooded Italian family, my favorite recipe for gravy is what most people call "spaghetti sauce." So basically, you get a bunch of cans of San Marzano tomato puree (or the tomatoes themselves and blend them, depending on how much time you've got), a can of tomato paste, a pack of sausage, a bunch of homemade meatballs (beef/veal/pork, preferably), garlic, onions, and a bunch of pork bones. Puree the garlic and onions and sweat them in the bottom of a big stock pot with some olive oil or pork fat. Then add the tomatoes and paste. Then put in the bones, sausage, and meatballs. Simmer for a good long time. Then remove the meat and bones with a strainer and continue to let simmer. Boom. Gravy.

The second asks what territory I wish I'd seen more of.

Portland is the first answer that comes to mind. Buddy Rose and Roddy Piper are two of the best ever, and I'd love to see them in a territory where they were at the forefront.

@robot_hammer wants to know my dream hero tag team vs. villain tag team match.

I almost wanted to go with Road Warriors vs. Demolition, just because that debate flared up again this week. But really, were either team really associated with alignment as much as they were just as aggro bruisers in face paint and pseudo-S&M gear? Thought so. Anyway, my ultimate face team would be the Rock 'n Roll Express. I'm not sure if Ricky Morton invented the hot tag, but he sure perfected it. On the other side of the ledger? Hmmm, how about the Two Man Power Trip? It was one of the most short-lived major tag teams ever, but they did have the highest upside as a duo who embodied villainous megalomania. The downside is that Triple H is involved, but maybe we can have him tear his quad here too. Just kidding... OR AM I?

@HummerX asks what my favorite instance of any wrestler wearing any hat is.

Photo Credit: WWE.com
@mrbilldempsey inquires about who I think should give The Shield their first defeat.

Before I get to the trio who SHOULD beat the Shield, here is a list of wrestler who should never, under any circumstance, defeat the group:
  • John Cena
  • Triple H
  • Randy Orton
  • Batista
  • Triple H
  • Jean Paul Levesque
  • Sheamus
  • Chris Jericho
  • Terra Ryzing
  • Vince McMahon
  • The Rock
  • Hunter Hearst Helmsley
  • Ahmed Johnson
  • Goddamn motherfucking piece of donkey shit Triple H
The moral of the story - please keep Triple H away from The Shield.

Now, who should defeat SIERRA HOTEL INDIGO ECHO LIMA DELTA? Well, before getting into specifics, it let's get the idea of who should beat them. It can't be a rag-tag pastiche of main event dudes with nothing better to do. That is not good storytelling. Here you have a well-oiled unit that works as a team. Wouldn't it follow that it would take as well a seasoned team to beat them, one that's based not in soulless duty, but friendship? That leaves two options.

The first is a bit unusual. Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, and a heretofore unknown third would be a great option if you wanted to turn them face. Rhodes seems down that path anyway, but Sandow still has a bunch of miles as a baddie. But that's not relevant as much as they're one of the only duos in WWE right now who are legitimately friends in the upper card.

The more logical answer? An amalgamation of Team Hell No and the Brothers of Destruction. They've been building to that since December. Bryan, Kane, and the Undertaker are the only options to take out The Shield as of right now. There are other options. Like, perhaps, Ryback, Mark Henry, and Big Show joining up as a team of SUPER FRIEND HOSSES over the next year to put Shield down at Mania (which would be the ultimate FU to Sheamus and Orton in story). An anti-Shield group from NXT of Sami Zayn, Xavier Woods, and BRAD MADDOX could rise up. Who knows. But right now, Taker, Kane, and Bryan are the ones to end the menace, although not until SummerSlam at the earliest.

@sallen_87 wants me to fill out my ideal wrestling personality Scooby gang.

Sam actually specified 4 to fill this out, but c'mon, just because Scooby Doo was a dog doesn't mean there isn't an analogue for him in the wrestling world. So here we go:

Shaggy - Paul London Shaggy's OBVIOUSLY a stoner, like London. I also imagine London saying "ZOINKS!" and running from ghosts while really baked. Then again, he did finish a match against Davey Richards while concussed, so maybe he isn't as fearful as Shag would be. Still though, it's a good fit.

Scooby Doo - Santino Marella Scooby is an anthropomorphic animal. Santino is the wrestler most likely to affect an animal's mannerisms. Both are hard to understand at times and are quite good at showing outrageous surprise at things. I just wonder what Santino snacks are...

Daphne - Layla El Like Daphne, Layla's a bombshell who is easy to underestimate just because she's extremely good-looking. But both are sneakily adept at getting whatever job it is they need to do done.

Velma - Veda Scott Don't let the appearances fool you. They may be "nerdy," but both are known to do heavy lifting for their teams. Admittedly, the rest of the Scooby gang is a bit less competent at getting their job done than either Shazza McKenzie or Gregory Iron, but I think Scott would be pretty good at the increased workload.

Fred - John Cena They're both corny as shit and get WAY too much credit for the successes of their troupes. I almost snarkily went with Freddie Prinze, Jr. since he's been on and off WWE Creative and actually portrayed Fred in the movies, but that'd be cheating.

@GayWrestlingFan asks whether Robert Newsome's cah-raaaazy Chikara theories are too limiting for the company.

Not at all. I think they've done a great job of setting up tiers of fandom for people to get immersed in. No matter what's going on in terms of stories and angles, Chikara has something for people just getting into it or who stop in and out for dream matches. There's something for everyone, and I don't think that's an accident.

@fordianslip asks which actor would be the best choice to hold the WWE Championship, disqualifying Mickey Rourke.

When this question was posed on Twitter, it was noted that it'd be the opposite of David Arquette winning the WCW World Championship. That's an important note, mainly because it wasn't that Arquette won the WCW Championship. It was that a scrawny actor with no real physical cache other than he was in a wrestling movie won the title. So you'd need someone who looks like a wrestler (and the current crop of WWE guys on top, specifically CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and 2/3 of The Shield, that bar isn't as artificially muscled as it was in the past) and someone who actually looks like he can handle himself. That opens up a few choices, and most of them reside in the cast of either one of the Expendables movies. Jean Claude van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, and Bruce Willis all would have been great choices in the '90s, but if full-timers get the short shrift if they're too old, the actors would too.

Jason Statham and Jet Li would both be great choices from a physical standpoint, but I'm not sure they have the same bombastic charisma it takes to succeed in a wrestling ring. I'd also disqualify Randy Couture since he's been in MMA. So, my choice is Terry Crews. It's not even a process of elimination; I think he'd actually be perfect for pro wrestling. He's got the Vince McMahon body, but that's the least thing important thing to me. He's got off the charts personality and versatility. And as shown by his turns in both Expendables movies as well as The Longest Yard remake, he can be pretty good when it comes to choreographed faux-violence. In fact, now I'm bummed that Crews may never get into a wrestling ring. But if he did, you can be damn sure he'd be a more entertaining option to hold the WWE Championship than John Cena. In fact, let's make Ryback vs. Terry Crews the Extreme Rules main event. I DEMAND THIS.

Finally, @p_holland asks if Chikara would be more successful than Ring of Honor if they had a weekly television show.

Well, it's a bit unfair to criticize ROH's TV show, if we're being completely fair. Their first TV deal was for a network that no one got, and their second has them in markets where barely anyone lives. So it's not like they're getting optimal television coverage here.

That being said, I think Chikara's modus operandi is far friendlier to weekly episodic television than ROH's. Ring of Honor is, "Hey, we have honor! Matches! Yay?" Yeah, there's a major angle going on with SCUM, but if that's your program every week, then you're not all that well-equipped for TV. Chikara, however, has plenty of stories, more than enough for one hour of television a week. Hell, they could do well with WWE's workload if they also had the resources available, but they wouldn't do that well. Eight hours a week to fill for 52 weeks a year is insane for any company. However, two hours a week for Chikara might be ideal. Then again, I could just be biased.

Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 4899

Trending Articles