The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 11, err, 12, 2017

BRAAAAUUUUUNNNNNNN Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 3) - Strowman continues to show why he's THE GUY by throwing Big Show through a goddamn cage and doing amateur chiropractic work on John Cena's back on the steel ring steps. Suplex City also does not impress him. Man, if WWE doesn't put the strap on him in two weeks at No Mercy...

2. Bianca Belair (Last Week: 7) - Okay, I finally watched the Mae Young Classic in anticipation for tonight's EPIC LIVE FINALE, and yes, Bianca Belair is everything she was reputed to be and more. If Kairi Sane wins tonight, she should have to give a percentage of her trophy and winnings to Belair for that hair-whipping from round two.

3. Toni Storm's Tiny Hat (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The hat is controversial for many reasons, but folks, I'm here to tell you that it is indeed good. Tiny hats are great in general, but when they're tiny tophats worn by the PROGRESS Women's Champion and Mae Young Classic semifinalist, they're tremendous.

4. Fletcher Cox (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, I'm not going to pretend Sunday's shellacking of the Landover Racial Slurs wasn't an Eagles team defensive effort, because it was. It took a bullshit intentional grounding non-call and the team forgetting for one play how to tackle for WASTEAM to put an offensive touchdown on the board. But Cox was all that was man, causing Kirk Cousins' first fumble and taking his last one caused by Brandon Graham to the house for the game-sealing score. HE IS THE EATER OF WORLDS, NOT THE FRAUDULENT BRAY WYATT.

5. Toni Storm (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Storm herself ain't bad either.

6. Pizzeria Quesadillas (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING - Real authentic quesadillas are nice, but you gotta get an overcompensatory pizza joint making them to get the realest guilty pleasure in the land. It's cheese overload, baybay.

7. Kristin Gillibrand (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Senator Gillibrand was the latest to co-sponsor Bernie Sanders' Medicare for All bill in the Senate, which makes her infinitely more worthy of attention than the person who couldn't beat sentient Cheeto Donald Trump for the Presidency and who wrote a salty-ass book about how everyone but her non-Wisconsin-traveling ass was to blame. Pay attention to the people making real change, real POSITIVE change, not the ones who wanna keep rehashing sunk-cost elections.

8. Whatever Intern Faved That Porn Tweet on Ted Cruz's Twitter Account (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Thanks to that intrepid soul, the Internet has meme material on ol' Zodiac for YEARS. God bless thirsty-ass interns with access.

9. AJ Styles (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He showed up at the NWA Wildside reunion this past weekend at the Landmark Arena in Cornelia, GA, which is insanely cool for several reasons. He didn't forget where he made his name, and it made the days of everyone there. Solid, solid action.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - Rumors are swirling that Oney Lorcan is NOT here for porkin'. Well, I'm here to dispel them, because friends, Oney Lorcan is always here for porkin'.