The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, August 5

Eat your heart out, Michelle McCool Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - How awesome is Bryan now? He's the most over guy at Smackdowns where he isn't even present.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 3) - If it weren't for her, I would have missed out on some dude making a lewd sign to show to Scott Steiner in late-era WCW.

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 4) - I like the Usos as much as the next guy, but I'm waiting for Henry to snap, split their wigs along with The Shield's at the same time, and then reclaim the top spot on this list like I know he can.

4. Ayumi Kurihara (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I hear she caused a 2370% spike in streamer sales in Japan this past weekend.

5. Johnny Manziel (Last Week: 8) - Fuck yeah, young man. Get that cash, unless you didn't go out and get said cash. Then let's burn down ESPN for impugning your good name!

6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 5) - So she can't have big, burly Big E Langston out at ringside anymore, but that is nothing to stop Lee. Now, if she calls her new tandem with Layla El Lay-J, then I'm afraid the Internet will implode upon itself and rightfully so.

7. That Black Security Guard from the Riley Cooper Video (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Say what you want, but if Riley Cooper offered me out while using the most vile racial language possible, and I was in his shoes? I would have hauled off and decked his good ol' boy ass from the Linc all the way to Citizens Bank Park. Amazing restraint, although if he did deck Cooper, I imagine he would have made the top spot on this list back when the Kenny Chesney concert happened.

8. Mangoes (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The mangoes I picked up yesterday were so delicious. The only thing keeping them from being ranked higher is that their pits were miscentered and I ended up cutting through them with my mango slicer. Hey, wait, why is that a first world problem, huh?

9. Shazza McKenzie (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only is she the world's youngest cougar and the leading voice behind the replenish movement, but Australian wrestling's current birthday girl has completed yet another year not being mauled or maimed by the Land Down Under's overly aggressive and lethal fauna. Stay tuned for next week to see how I will shoehorn a reference to the fact everything in Australia can kill you in the rankings!

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: del Rey was in serious talks to be the 12th Doctor, but showrunners dismissed her when she mistook the term "sonic screwdriver" for a Steiner screwdriver.