WWE continued the theme of opening up time warps and playing with the space-time continuum tonight. When Vince McMahon brought RED BELLY to attempt shaving Daniel Bryan, and I think that wormhole imbued Bryan with the spirit of CM Punk from 2011. He cut a far-too-similar promo to the ones Punk was ethering Cena with during his initial flurry of pipe bombs. Cena himself got caught in a vortex from four and five years prior, as he found himself staring down the beady snake eyes of one Randy Orton. I think if we're not careful enough, the Titor Conglomerate might think Chikara not to be enough for their conquests.
In all seriousness, Cena broke open a new wrinkle in his battle with Bryan, whose mention of his days working bingo halls and armories seemed innocuous on the forefront. Guys like Bryan bust their humps in the indies to make it to WWE, but Cena, in true e-fed match build fashion, twisted those words to make it seem like Bryan was leading an invasion of independent talent into WWE to prove the company was no better than the collective scattered landscape of regional and sometimes provincial companies where men like him but also like Punk and Dean Ambrose and Antonio Cesaro and so many others WWE has signed.
Bryan-as-the-new-Steve Austin is not an innovative observation by yours truly. I think that viewpoint was more than validated in tonight's opening segment when the Chairman engaged in a spiritual reboot of the corporate Championship christening. As much of a fan of Bryan as I am, and as much of a vested interest I have in him becoming fixated in the WWE's firmament, he is not the interesting cog in this tale. If you think Orton or McMahon are, then friend, I think I want the number of your dealer's pager.
If Bryan is Austin, then Cena becomes Bret Hart. He's certainly not The Rock; unless a specific swerve is nigh, he and McMahon aren't becoming strange bedfellows. For the record, I do think that someone's getting swerved at SummerSlam, but if I had to guess, it would involve Orton and possibly The Shield. No, Cena is left to defend a way of life from an interloper, someone who doesn't quite see the WWE style as the be all end all. He now must protect the idea of what a wrestler is on the highest level.
Bryan doesn't represent anarchy, but like Austin, he has the will of the fans at his back. Right now, the two aren't facing off in just a wrestling match. The struggle has become ideological, and to credit both Bryan and Cena, the shift came in one night.
Or did it?
Maybe tonight just represented the crescendo in this march on the ideal of the entertainer. Punk wasn't the man to lead the charge. While he's always been a fine wrestler, his pipe bombs were always the main mode of attack, although his feud with Brock Lesnar has been borne most effectively when he and the Beast Incarnate have had their Cold War boil over into hot, sweaty action like tonight. Seriously, those two can brawl around the ringside area for my amusement forever, and I wouldn't complain.
However, for as entertaining and effective as Bryan is in Dr. Shelby skits or with a microphone in his hand, he can only reach the Avatar State when in the ring, doing what he does best - wrestling. Normally, I cringe when I hear a WWE superstar invoke the "I'm not an entertainer, I'm a wrestler" card. It's hacky in most hands, but with Bryan, it's a credo that embodies his character, his gimmick so to speak. Ever since he was minted as a main-roster WWE guy, when he said on that first episode of NXT that he was either going to make you tap or your bones were going to snap, his main goal was that he was going to have awesome matches.
Cena, in many ways, is his mirror image. He is at home in the ring, but his mission is to get kiddies to buy t-shirts with a microphone in his hand. John Cena is Jebediah Springfield, Zekrom, yin, Professor X. Daniel Bryan is Shelbyville Manhattan, Reshiram, yang, Magneto. If we're keeping with the X-Men analogies here, Vince McMahon, Randy Orton, and anyone else trying to get involved are dickhead humans and their Sentinels. But regardless, kinship exists, but just as brothers (in-law) are wont to do, they are going to butt heads.
Maybe Cena and Bryan clashing is why all the time warps are happening in WWE. This battle is so intense, wormholes get created in the process. All I know is, if we get two Undertakers wandering into the Staples Center, spoilin' for a fight, I will get positively freaked the fuck out over how much power the main event of SummerSlam actually wields over spacetime.
In all seriousness, Cena broke open a new wrinkle in his battle with Bryan, whose mention of his days working bingo halls and armories seemed innocuous on the forefront. Guys like Bryan bust their humps in the indies to make it to WWE, but Cena, in true e-fed match build fashion, twisted those words to make it seem like Bryan was leading an invasion of independent talent into WWE to prove the company was no better than the collective scattered landscape of regional and sometimes provincial companies where men like him but also like Punk and Dean Ambrose and Antonio Cesaro and so many others WWE has signed.
Bryan-as-the-new-Steve Austin is not an innovative observation by yours truly. I think that viewpoint was more than validated in tonight's opening segment when the Chairman engaged in a spiritual reboot of the corporate Championship christening. As much of a fan of Bryan as I am, and as much of a vested interest I have in him becoming fixated in the WWE's firmament, he is not the interesting cog in this tale. If you think Orton or McMahon are, then friend, I think I want the number of your dealer's pager.
If Bryan is Austin, then Cena becomes Bret Hart. He's certainly not The Rock; unless a specific swerve is nigh, he and McMahon aren't becoming strange bedfellows. For the record, I do think that someone's getting swerved at SummerSlam, but if I had to guess, it would involve Orton and possibly The Shield. No, Cena is left to defend a way of life from an interloper, someone who doesn't quite see the WWE style as the be all end all. He now must protect the idea of what a wrestler is on the highest level.
Bryan doesn't represent anarchy, but like Austin, he has the will of the fans at his back. Right now, the two aren't facing off in just a wrestling match. The struggle has become ideological, and to credit both Bryan and Cena, the shift came in one night.
Or did it?
Maybe tonight just represented the crescendo in this march on the ideal of the entertainer. Punk wasn't the man to lead the charge. While he's always been a fine wrestler, his pipe bombs were always the main mode of attack, although his feud with Brock Lesnar has been borne most effectively when he and the Beast Incarnate have had their Cold War boil over into hot, sweaty action like tonight. Seriously, those two can brawl around the ringside area for my amusement forever, and I wouldn't complain.
However, for as entertaining and effective as Bryan is in Dr. Shelby skits or with a microphone in his hand, he can only reach the Avatar State when in the ring, doing what he does best - wrestling. Normally, I cringe when I hear a WWE superstar invoke the "I'm not an entertainer, I'm a wrestler" card. It's hacky in most hands, but with Bryan, it's a credo that embodies his character, his gimmick so to speak. Ever since he was minted as a main-roster WWE guy, when he said on that first episode of NXT that he was either going to make you tap or your bones were going to snap, his main goal was that he was going to have awesome matches.
Cena, in many ways, is his mirror image. He is at home in the ring, but his mission is to get kiddies to buy t-shirts with a microphone in his hand. John Cena is Jebediah Springfield, Zekrom, yin, Professor X. Daniel Bryan is Shelbyville Manhattan, Reshiram, yang, Magneto. If we're keeping with the X-Men analogies here, Vince McMahon, Randy Orton, and anyone else trying to get involved are dickhead humans and their Sentinels. But regardless, kinship exists, but just as brothers (in-law) are wont to do, they are going to butt heads.
Maybe Cena and Bryan clashing is why all the time warps are happening in WWE. This battle is so intense, wormholes get created in the process. All I know is, if we get two Undertakers wandering into the Staples Center, spoilin' for a fight, I will get positively freaked the fuck out over how much power the main event of SummerSlam actually wields over spacetime.