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The 2014 TWB 100 Announcement and Call for Ballots

March 2, 2015, 5:30 am
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Bryan finished #1 for 2013. Who will finish there for last year?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Ladies and gentlemen, that time of the year has arrived again. The voting process for the 2014 TWB 100 has officially started. For those new to the process this year, the TWB 100 is a crowd-sourced, fan-voted, open-participation list that looks to rank wrestlers from the last calendar year (in this case, 2014) in terms of their performances in the ring as wrestlers/workers. Participation is open to anyone who would like to submit a ballot and follow a simple list of rules for submitting a ballot. The following is the list of participation criteria:

  1. The TWB 100 is based solely on a wrestler's performance between the bells in any wrestling contest. This includes move variety, execution, workrate, selling, bumping, timing, pacing, protecting the opponent, trash-talking and anything else that happens within the course of a wrestling match. Anything that happens in promos or segments outside the confines of a wrestling match should NOT be considered for ballot entries. It is also advised against using match booking in deciding placement on the ballot (i.e. don't use "well he/she wins too much" as rationale against their placement), but I also understand that it's hard to divorce the concept of wins and losses from match ability sometimes.
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  2. Content to be considered for ballots must have taken place between 1/1/14 at 12:00:00 AM to 12/31/14 at 11:59:59 PM inclusive, i.e. within the calendar year of 2014. Consideration should also be limited to matches held in the United States and Canada, or by promotions that were based in United States and Canada only. For the sake of those who watch wrestling from Puerto Rico, yes, that island should be considered as part of the United States for this exercise.
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  3. Ballots shall have a minimum of 25 wrestlers named in order and a maximum of 100 wrestlers named in order. Ballots between those two numbers inclusive will be accepted with no questions, as long as they are ranked in order. Ballots with 24 or fewer and unordered ballots will be thrown out. Ballots with 101 or more will be pared down to 100.
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  4. No demarcation shall exist between male or female wrestlers. For the purposes of this ballot, anyone who wrestled in an eligible promotion for the time period given shall be considered eligible regardless of race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, size, weight class, or even species (I see you, ISW).
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  5. If you want to list a tag team,you must list the individual members and NOT the unit. So, if you want to include the Lucha Dragons, then list Kalisto and Sin Cara as separate entries on your list, not "Lucha Dragons" as one entry. All entries for a stable or tag team will be ignored on said ballot (or at the very least, I will e-mail you for clarification).
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  6. No eligibility requirements for submission of a ballot are in place. As long as the submitter likes and has watched wrestling in 2014, they're allowed to submit.
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  7. Ballots can be sent to me, TH, via any means necessary, either through e-mail (tom DOT holzerman AT gmail DOT com), Facebook messages, written letter (for those who know my address), Twitter DM (although that would be quite the waste of bandwidth!) or any other ways of private contact.
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  8. The due date for ballots shall be Wednesday, March 11 at 11:59:59 PM local time.
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  9. The final list will be disseminated via slow release on TWB with blurbs written by ballot submitters. If you are interested in writing for the release, please let me know with your ballot. Your blurbs should be at least one paragraph explaining why you voted for that particular wrestler.
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  10. All ballots are subject to scrutiny by me, TH.
Simple enough, right? Well, it will be simple enough as long as you read the rules. I couldn't tell you the number of times over the last five years where people would list wrestlers who weren't active until the year after the period in question or who would vote for wrestlers and give year-after or even year-before examples of why they cast those votes, or those who voted for people who weren't active at all in North America north of the Mexican border. Read the criteria. Read the criteria.

READ THE CRITERIA.

Of course, anything outside of that list is open for interpretation. You don't have to have watched a quota amount of wrestling to qualify, nor do you have to have watched a stock diversity of promotions. If all you watched was WWE or TNA or Inspire Pro or ECCW or any singular promotion, then by all means, you are welcome to vote as long as you can think of a 25 wrestlers to put on your ballot. If you've watched EVERY AMERICAN/CANADIAN PROMOTION, then yes, I definitely want your vote. I want your vote if you're a man or a woman, any race, any gender configuration or sexual orientation. I WANT YOUR POINT OF VIEW ON IN-RING WRESTLING REPRESENTED. This list is an egalitarian venture, and not only do I want your votes, I want you to write about why you voted as well.

Anyway, get those ballots in ASAP. Get the ball rolling onw
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Eps. 197/198

March 2, 2015, 7:30 am
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Austin had a lot of Fast Lane talk this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 197 (Feb. 24, 2015)
Run Time: 1:11:35
Guest: Wade Keller (4:00)

Summary: This week’s show is pretty simple. Austin and Keller break down the WWE Fast Lane show. That’s pretty much the whole shebang.

Quote of the week: (While discussing Lana, Rusev and the announcers invoking John Cena’s age as part of his current feud.)

Keller:“I don’t like it. I think Cena looks like he’s 30 years old. I don’t think there’s any reason to draw attention to the current fan base that loves Cena and make them think his years are limited. … His presentation is as good as it ever has been. I don’t see any reason to start telling fans his days are limited. Unless they’re doing it maybe cause Vince wants to have fans be more willing to embrace Roman Reigns.”

Austin:“You don’t make your number one guy look weaker so another guy can overtake him. They did not do that with Stone Cold when the Rock got hot. It’s all about vying for that number one spot. You don’t to do that, and I think as smart as Vince is as a promoter, as long as he’s been around, that wouldn’t be the motivation in doing that. I don’t know that the motivation to do it was, but I’m telling you, Cena still looks like a million bucks. He’s strong as an ox, he’s a gym freak and he’s a class act. I don’t want age to be his Achilles heel now moving forward to the, what, next two/three years of his career.”

Why you should listen: Because you want to hear two respected professionals be mostly positive about a show that didn’t get widespread love.

Why you should skip it: You’re done with Fast Lane and ready for WrestleMania. Or you don’t want to hear pay-per-view recaps that don’t factor the following RAW episode. Or you’ll be mad when you realize Austin forgot to discuss the Intercontinental Title match when he had Keller on the phone.

Final thoughts: Austin made a good decision to regularly review major WWE shows as soon as possible, but it doesn’t give me a ton to write about. It’s a simple choice: if you care what he thinks about the show (and I find it interesting given his particular perspective), these episodes are can’t miss. But if you’re not super into the current WWE product, then it’s an easy skip.
Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed!
Episode: 198 (Feb. 26, 2015)
Run Time: 1:43:19
Guest: None

Summary: In an episode recorded Monday afternoon, Austin takes calls from listeners ready to discuss their feelings about Sunday’s Fast Lane. Calls focus almost exclusively on the crowd noise, main event, U.S. Championship match and two “talking” segments (the Triple H/Sting showdown and Bray Wyatt’s Undertaker challenger). Mixed in there is one question about the tag team titles, one about the Stardust/Goldust feud and a real wildcard who wants to chat about “Redneck Island.” The show ends with Austin getting caught of up his Word of the Day feature.

Quote of the week: Austin: “I don’t think one loss makes or break who or what the Undertaker is. Here’s a guy who is respected universally, not only behind the locker room doors but out there in the WWE Universe, nothing but total respect, and losing — you gotta look at it this way: When you go 21-1 at WrestleMania, I don’t think you have to be rebuilt or resurrected from one loss. So I think he is and always will be one of the greatest performers, pro wrestlers to ever step foot in the ring and entertain people and sell tickets. So his credibility is always there.”

Why you should listen: Austin does a great job of using a show like this to give the impression he’s got his finger on the pulse of the fans. While the calls tend to bunch up on the same Fastlane segments, the callers have enough different takes on what we all watched together it at least gives listeners an idea of how other fans perceive the current direction and the road to WrestleMania.

Why you should skip it: It doesn’t take too long for fatigue to set in with seemingly every other question involving Daniel Bryan and/or Roman Reigns alternating with a look at the John Cena/Rusev story. Further, the show was recorded before last Monday’s RAW, so much of Austin’s speculation about how stories might progress is wasted air by the time this episode dropped.

Final thoughts: Austin alluded to this session during his Tuesday episode with Wade Keller. He recorded the calls before his Keller interview, and anyone who listened carefully to Tuesday’s show can discern the influence of these dozen chats on Austin’s part of the conversation. It’s not a stretch then to say listening to the Tuesday show is largely redundant. But I do enjoy Austin’s chemistry with average fans as it reveals how sincere he is with his personality the rest of the time on his other episodes.
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50 Shades of Rey - 50 Shades Freed

March 2, 2015, 9:30 am
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Fare thee well, Rey Rey
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Rey Mysterio has finally been granted his long-running wish and has been released by WWE. The move came last week on Thursday, which you may have missed because of runaway llamas and a dress that looked different colors depending on which angle you were watching from. He's wanted his release for over a year now, going so far as to appear via tape at the pay-per-view broadcast of AAA TripleMania saying he'd see everyone there soon. His contract situation protracted out into the murkiest of waters and included Vince McMahon getting to treat a real live human being like a fungible asset by deciding whether he'd tack time that Mysterio sat out hurt onto the end of said contract or not. Fun!

Mysterio first came up as Rey Misterio, Jr., and almost immediately, he turned heads so quickly that he snapped a few necks. Extreme Championship Wrestling and then World Championship Wrestling jumped on the opportunity to bring him into the fold, which led to mixed results. Positively, he was a huge part of the cruiserweight movement, the crowning jewel of which was perhaps the finest match in WCW's history, a lucha de apuesta where he wagered his mask against Eddie Guerrero's Cruiserweight Championship at Halloween Havoc 1997. Of course, within a month or so of his debut, he was tossed like a lawn dart into the side of a trailer by Kevin Nash, and his woes at the hands of the nWo did not stop there. WCW offered his mask as a sacrifice to the endlessly rogue group's altar, and Mysterio  never got to give the group reprisal for it. Of course, the chapter was seemingly expunged from history when WWE brought him in with his mask in tow.

Mysterio's run in WWE was checkered, but the highs soared to atmospheric levels that he could only have dreamed of in WCW. He rekindled his feud with Guerrero, which led to a series of classic matches between the two, the most surreal of which was a ladder match for the custody of Mysterio's son Dominic. After Guerrero died, Mysterio assumed the mantel of the WWE's Latino ace, which came with a Royal Rumble victory and a run with the World Heavyweight Championship back when it was still on par with the WWE Title. Regardless of booking highs or lows in any of the big three companies, Mysterio produced a resume that would easily put him in the top three in-ring workers of the cable TV era at the very least.

Of course, the ending of his WWE career was not remembered for the epic matches or the big moments, but it was for who he wasn't rather than who he was. He drew #30 at the 2014 Royal Rumble and had the capacity crowd rain a typhoon of jeers upon him because he was the 30th wrestler to come out of the curtain not named Daniel Bryan. "Deserving" things in wrestling or not is always tricky because "deserving" things in a worked environment leads to dumb arguments, but I can claim without hesitation that Mysterio did not deserve that reaction as the final touchstone in his WWE career.

Then again, I'm in the camp that a lot of the criticism that was laid at Mysterio's feet was uncalled for. He faced a lot of chatter for being a boring or bad wrestler because big guys sold for him or the 619 was a bullshit finisher, but few wrestlers were able to put on matches week-to-week at as high a caliber as Mysterio did. The Eddie Guerrero Memorial Push™ may have rubbed people the wrong way, but it was more a fault of creative than of his. Accounting for taste is one thing, but the man gave his body for pro wrestling. That "d" word comes up again, but he deserves respect if anyone else does.

Speaking of having given his body for pro wrestling, Mysterio to the common observer may seem like he should hang 'em up. The man's been hurt off and on for the last five years, and age plus history is not kind to someone in a business this rough on the body. But conversely, no one knows Mysterio's body like he does. He wants to continue to work, and he wants to do so outside of WWE. He'll show up at AAA like he promised, and since Lucha Underground is the American arm of the lucha libre promotion, he'll be back on weekly television before anyone knows it.

And whatever he wants to do, he should do it, not even just out of general pathos for the working man in general and actual wrestlers in specific. But Mysterio should do what makes him happy because the man has had such a long career, mostly at the mercy of gringos who never really got him. If he gets to go home and work out a nice farewell tour, take a few laps around the Temple with Dario Cueto, and retire when he feels like he's had his fill, then it would be a nice coda on a career that looked like it was going to crash land with a sour moment at the Rumble. Maybe he'll get to find peace during that path. And hey, maybe some promoter will get frisky enough to pay him the $20,000 he's asking for per-appearance dates. When you've reached the legendary status that Mysterio has, you get to weed out appearances with the high price. It's a perk.

And believe me, Mysterio is a legend. He's on a short list of best TV workers ever, an innovator in modern wrestling, and a man who loomed large despite his short stature. This release may not be the end of his career, but it's certainly the end of an illustrious if not flawed chapter in it. Here's hoping he finds what he's looking for elsewhere. He deserves it.
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King of Trios to Happen Labor Day Weekend, Be Too Sweet

March 2, 2015, 11:30 am
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Chikara's about to get too sweet
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Chikara announced yesterday on Twitter that this year's installment of King of Trios would take place at the Charles Chrin Community Center of Palmer Township, or the Easton (PA) Funplex for short, during Labor Day weekend this year. Tickets are already on sale, and if you buy tickets for all three nights, you'll get a free pass to the Fan Conclave, which is the special meet-n-greet/swap meet/fun game time that takes place before night two. For those looking for specific dates, that's September 4, 5, and 6.

The landmark event on the indie calendar has taken place in the Lehigh Valley for the last two turns in 2012 and 2014. It makes sense to hold it there because of the reduced venue cost and higher margins and stuff like that, but I was holding out hope that it would return to the ECW Arena for selfish reasons. Still, the Funplex remains Chikara's signature arena, and Trios has been a banger there for the last two tourneys. This year should be no different.

And in the tradition of starting things off with a bang, the first trio announced was a doozy. The Young Bucks will be making their return to Chikara for the first time since the Tag World Grand Prix in 2013 in Chicago. The former Campeones de Parejas will be bringing AJ Styles with them. Yes, the Bullet Club is invading Chikara. Hail Hydra and the the like. No lie, this announcement is about as big an announcement that the company could make without dipping into the former WCW/WWE pool. Styles is the current IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, and the Bucks hold the Jr. Heavyweight Tag Championships. All three are considered near the top of their game right now. It's going to be hard to top them from a name value standpoint, and they have the pedigree to back up the hype.

One other thing to look out for in terms of the tournament this year is the Challenge of the Immortals. Will the new, round-robin team-based concept play into the Trios tourney? Some teams remain united in some respects. For example, the defending Champions the Devastation Corporation would be able to defend its crown without disrupting its COTI rhythm, but what about The Colony? The Osirian Portal should Ophidian and Amasis take up a third? Will those separate teams put up teams in the same vein as Chikarametrics split up traditional teams in 2012? The native Chikara announcements may not be as straightforward as they were last year or as they've been in 2011 and years before.

Either way, I'm glad Trios is back, and I'll be looking forward to attending either night two or night three this year and covering it like the marquee event it truly is.
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Lessons from UFC, or Allowing Women to Seize the Day

March 2, 2015, 1:30 pm
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Paige may not get to tap opponents in 14 seconds like Ronda Rousey, but she can do equivalent sports entertainment things
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The only match on RAW that featured women last week went 30 seconds. It sparked a major campaign for WWE to treat its women performers better. UFC 184 featured a headline bout between two women. The match went only 14 seconds, and yet it was heralded as a major success. Of course, comparing sport to entertainment is extreme folly. And honestly, UFC's track record with women isn't exactly sterling to say the least. For example, color commentator and "comedian" Joe Rogan's history with women is atrocious. From going on message boards and calling Maggie Hendricks a term derived from the c-word because she didn't want to see her colleagues get threatened by Rampage Jackson in 2011 to recently saying that selling a Ronda Rousey fight was difficult, it's easy to see that misogyny is strong with him. I don't want to make sweeping generalizations about MMA culture, but at the same time, it's not hard to see why such attitudes can thrive in that kind of environment.

But for as much as some of the prominent figures in UFC seem to hate women, the company is streets ahead of WWE in that it sees women as competitors. Sure, no one is able to last long enough against Rousey to sell her attractions as anything more than the MMA equivalent of 1980s Mike Tyson demolitions, but she's not exactly being hidden behind more mediocre male fighters for false reasons about her drawing power. People tend to gravitate towards dominance and cult of personality, and Rousey seems to have both (the latter for the wrong reasons, but that's neither here nor there). The fact that UFC seems to get that makes the organization somewhat ahead of what WWE has.

Does WWE have someone analogous to Rousey though? It's hard because the skillsets are different. Rousey beats the shit out of relative tomato cans to the point where she's almost demanding to be put against men, and hoo boy, if you like BOTH wrestling and MMA and you were annoyed by the intergender wrestling argument, you're gonna be in for a treat over the coming months when people start questioning whether she can fight men without damaging her bone structure or some psuedoscientific shit.

Anyway, she forced her way into the main event, and lo and behold, people are flocking to her. In wrestling, what can a woman do when most of what she can do is limited by the agents and the producers? They have to seize what they can in a shorter amount of time, in a medium where unlike real fighting, the shorter the time you produce, the worse the results usually are.

And yet, women on the main roster have been doing their best with little ring-time. Most recently, Paige came out dressed in a ridiculous Little Bo Peep costume on acid and showed more swag in a single-digit minute window than anyone except for Shinsuke Nakamura has shown over the course of a whole week. The signs are there; women can go out and hold the crowds in the palm of their hands in a wrestling ring. But WWE, unlike UFC, turns a blind eye to it because reasons.

Misogyny is rampant in sports and sports entertainment, and it will continue to be as long as the hypermasculine macho man continues to be held up as an ideal. But strides can be taken to improve representation. It's not ideal at all, because ideally, equality would be seized and shoved down the throats of every misogynist crying about bone structure or suspension of disbelief. But any gain needs to be taken where it can. WWE and UFC are as different as different can be, but at the same time, the similarities in terms of how talent can move up and down the card  and in the crowds are important to note.

One could even make the argument that UFC's crowds are tougher to please than WWE's in terms of diversity, and Ronda Rousey, through sheer force of will, has won them over. If she can seize MMA fans' attentions, then couldn't someone like Paige be allowed to do the same for WWE? If Sara del Rey can be the most over wrestler on the Chikara roster, if SHIMMER can draw standing room only crowds for marathon weekend tapings, if NXT's women can arguably outshine the men because they're given the same opportunities, then shouldn't it follow that the main roster women can do the same?

It's 2015. Sexism has no excuse to be given quarter in any arena. If UFC, which I stress still has a long way to go, can allow its women fighters to seize agency, then why can't WWE do the same? 
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 239

March 3, 2015, 5:30 am
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Vader talked about everything except for Boy Meets World, apparently
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 239 (Feb. 25, 2015)
Run Time: 1:03:32
Guest: Vader (14:50)

Summary: Colt Cabana’s guest this week is Vader. They open by talking about the complications of international travel for such a large man, which leads into discussion of his memorable Japanese debut, the reasons Sid and the Ultimate Warrior didn’t earn the right to play Vader and how he connected with Mr. Saito yet ended up in Germany. Vader explains the difference in contracts and politics in Europe and Japan from the struggles he encountered in the major American promotions. He explains how he came to organically hone his stiff working style, explains what didn’t work about his time in WCW and WWF and shares some insight about his football career. Cabana regrets not asking Vader about his work on Boy Meets World.

Quote of the week: Vader, on why he fit better in Japan: “I think I’m misunderstood in a lot of ways. I think it was more suited for my character and my personality to be in that type of environment, you know, it’s like, ‘Hey, what you do in the ring matters here, not what you do in the bar after work.’ ”

Why you should listen: Vader is far more introspective than many would give him credit for, and it’s an intriguing juxtaposition to hear such thoughtful career and personal reflection about often incredibly violent acts and players. The interview helps illustrate the difference between working overseas and plying the trade in the Big Two stateside, and Cabana’s own background in working throughout Japan positions him well to lead that course of discussion.

Why you should skip it: Anyone who listened to Vader on the Steve Austin and Jim Ross podcasts won’t get much in the way of new information here. There’s a different vibe and spin, sure, but if your primary goal is accessing biographical data, this hour won’t deliver much. And, well, it’s likely there are some folks who assumed Cabana would spend 15 minutes on Boy Meets World. That’s a reasonable expectation, but you’ll have to wait until next time.

Final thoughts: To me the most fascinating thing was listening to how Cabana covered much of the same ground Vader broached with Austin and Ross. They’re not contemporaries or equals, but that removes the element of the host interjecting his own recollections. And Austin and Ross don’t have nearly the same background working in Japan and Europe, so on that level Cabana actually is far more suited to draw out interesting tidbits. I find Vader a compelling subject no matter who has the other microphone, and while his other podcast appearances might have been more informative, they’re also more like reviewing a career on Wikipedia — heavy on facts, light on context. And the context is what enriches the understanding of the performer and his experiences in the business.
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On Chris Dickinson and Kimber Lee

March 3, 2015, 8:30 am
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She's a wrestler, and she deserves protection from her opponent
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Another week has elapsed on the calendar, and another incident of a wrestler making things too real for another one has surfaced. Granted, Chris Dickinson probably didn't mean to hurt Kimber Lee intentionally like Yoshiko did to Act Yasukawa. However, the footage is still just as hard to digest. Basically, at the Beyond Wrestling King of Arts show this past Sunday, Dickinson plastered a kneeling Lee with a chairshot to the head, and followed it up with a stiff crucifix bomb into the corner where the ringbell was located. Lee may or may not have hit her head on said bell at full speed. Lee is a tough as nails performer who takes bumps as hard as she dishes them out, but this sequence seemed a bit off.

Firstly, I still don't see how any wrestler, post-[REDACTED] can in good conscience take or give an unprotected chairshot to the head. Even if Lee wanted to take the full-on shot more than Lisa Simpson wanted a goddamn pony, Dickinson should have refused. Then again, it's in his MO to dole out that kind of spot; Matt Tremont took one from Dickinson at Slamtasia V last November. The risks associated aren't worth the CTE, and a chairshot to the back conveys the same kind of brutality with a fraction of the risk of longterm mental health. No chairshot is perfectly safe, of course, especially one at full blast.

The powerbomb is more of a gray area, but the fact that Dickinson threw her into the corner with the bell raises all kinds of red flags. For one, why have the bell so close to where wrestlers bump, especially in the super-indies where Pro Wrestling Guerrilla has conditioned everyone to do moves upon moves upon moves onto the apron? IF the bell had to be there, then shouldn't the wrestlers be more aware of surroundings? This event was not Dickinson's first rodeo by a long shot. He's been at nearly every Fete Music show, if not all of them.

I know the relationship between Dickinson and Beyond Wrestling is pretty tight, but Lee is also one of the most recognizable and bankable stars on the roster. The chairshot thing is a systemic deal that still lingers on the indie scene like a stale fart. The sooner that practice is banned across the board, the better everyone will be. Of course, CTE will still be a problem that may never go away, but at least the super, major culprit behind it will be under wraps. But the powerbomb thing, accident or no, might require him to get some kind of recourse. Since Beyond pays per-appearance, maybe Dickinson ought to sit out the next couple of pay-dates. That might make him think twice. Still, wrestling is a partnership. The protective trust needs to be maintained. Breaking it on purpose is anathema, but it's not like accidents aren't preventable.

But because Dickinson's a dude and Lee is a woman, I've heard a lot of chatter surrounding the incident from men about how intergender wrestling is bad because it "fetishizes man on woman violence" or because "it's a sign that women are asking to prove themselves too hard." I would have a rebuttal to those statements, but that would make me as big a phony as they are. If you want to know how much intergender wrestling fetishizes or doesn't fetishize women, go ask a woman who is in the scene and regularly attends shows promoted by companies such as Beyond. They're the people whose opinions would be germane to those arguments, and all the opinions, even the ones that conflict with each other, are worth listening to. Don't frame this as a philosophical problem with men wrestling women without actual input from women.
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 199

March 4, 2015, 5:30 am
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Austin talks turkey with Court Bauer for this week's clean episode
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 199 (March 3, 2015)
Run Time: 1:24:41
Guest: Court Bauer (13:22)

Summary: Austin’s guest this week is former WWE writer and current MLW podcaster Court Bauer. They open by discussing the various shows under Bauer’s oversight and podcasting in general. Focusing on news of the day they discuss Roman Reigns, the Hall of Fame induction of Alundra Blayze, which leads to a sidebar on Sherri Martel, and all of the buzz surrounding Brock Lesnar. That, of course, leads into a discussion about Ronda Rousey. Austin asks Bauer about the writers’ perspective of the Road to WrestleMania, which gives Bauer reason to bring up his relationship with Gary Hart, and the guys do a little look ahead at the next few weeks building to the biggest show of the year.

Quote of the week: Bauer: “They’ve got a WWE Network, they’ve got to make some exclusive content, what if they had a camera, even if you had a shot of Brock leaving, pulling out of the parking lot last Monday, and then doing a special report follow-up, like, ‘Listen, this is breaking news: Brock Lesnar left Raw. He was scheduled to have a presence on the show, and he’s had an issue with Vince McMahon.’ And then you have Paul Heyman say something, really like an agent or lawyer would, ‘No comment, it’s a very sensitive issue, we’ll see how it plays out. No comment.’ And just have a 15-minute kind of almost SportsCenter breaking news segment on the Network on Tuesday or Wednesday. Because all these websites profited off of it, everyone profited off of it except for WWE it seems. So why not just shine a light on it and make it a Network exclusive?”

Why you should listen: Bauer and Austin have a good connection, and there’s more than a few times where Bauer effortlessly turns the tables and asks Austin questions to further the discussion without feeling like he’s dominating the show. The respect both men have for Blayze (whom they primarily refer to as Madusa) and Martel is welcome since they fully understand each woman’s varied contributions to the business. Bauer’s tale of crafting the Umaga character for his post-WrestleMania 22 debut is a nice touch.

Why you should skip it: I don’t listen to Bauer’s other work, so I have no idea if this is repetitive for his regular fans. Pretty much everything discussed is topical, so it wouldn’t be shocking to know he’s expressed the same thoughts in another forum. And there is a segment of wrestling fans who has a strong dislike for anything related to MMA. That’s not likely to be a large portion of Austin’s audience, and it’s far from the first time he’s talked about the world of UFC, but if that’s one of your turnoffs, be forewarned.

Final thoughts: This is almost like an idealized version of Cheap Heat — a weekly look at the state of WWE that actually lingers on the bases it aims to cover. It’s unfortunate the guys were recording on Monday night before either could watch Raw, as I would have enjoyed real thought about the Seth Rollins-Jon Stewart angle instead of pure speculation, but timing will always be an issue with Austin’s podcast schedule. In general, your decision to listen should be based on your feelings for Bauer — if you tend to enjoy what he offers, it’s likely this will be a quick, fun listen.
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What If John Cena Missed WrestleMania?

March 4, 2015, 7:30 am
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Would Mania really suffer without Cena?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
John Cena is not going to miss WrestleMania this year. I doubt he'll ever miss WrestleMania as long as he's active and able to toss on a pair of jorts and a colorful shirt and run the ropes. But Stephanie McMahon's spiel to Cena on RAW last night - an obvious proxy message from her father Vince to Brock Lesnar - sparked an intriguing hypothetical. What if Cena were left off a Mania card? It might seem unimaginable because of his stature as the man in the company still looms large. But he could conceivably not wrestle on the biggest show of the year without the card suffering.

It sounds like lunacy of course, because WWE still leans on Cena so hard for the other 11 special events and week-to-week television. He's arguably the most over wrestler on the roster (Daniel Bryan is the other guy in the conversation), so the biggest show of the year having the biggest star in the company should seem like a no-brainer. Honestly, the following thought exercise is probably going to come off as a Skip Bayless/Mark Madden-level hot take, because a promoter should want his/her best talents at the ready for the biggest shows.

However, an argument could be made that WrestleMania as a spectacle stands regardless of any one singular star as long as a certain lineup was booked for the show. One could even argue that Mania itself is the draw, although I would be hesitant to make that argument completely. The Manias last year and this year stand as evidence that support the theorem. Last year, the show was carried by the spectacle of Brock Lesnar challenging The Streak and Daniel Bryan looking to take out Evolution and achieve his dream. This year, Lesnar stands waiting for a new challenger in Roman Reigns, while the last WCW holdout never to work a match in WWE, Sting, makes his debut against Triple H.

The other big similarity between the two cards is how much of a misfit Cena is on them, which is an odd thing to write. One would think that after a career arc that has seen him take every role he possibly could at the Granddaddy of Them All that he'd fit perfectly as the passer of the torch except he's not really asked to do that role in preparation for the other 11 pay-per-views of the year. He's still the standard, and if he's not in focus in the main event, he's not really asked to put younger/less established wrestlers over as much as he's the Hulk Hogan to their Nikolai Volkoff.

Yet, when Mania has come around the last two years, the focus intensely shifts away from him, which is both weird in a sense of the rest of the year but appropriate given the idea that Mania can stand upon its own two legs. Why else would Cena's spot on the card be so forgettable? Would it kill him to miss the show? I have no idea because I don't know him, but he seems to be the kind of guy who would rather not have been born than let down all the people, some of which cheer him and some of which boo him (and that's alright). But the show might as well be in good health with or without him until some part of the narrative the rest of the year changes. Besides, the final act of Cena's WrestleMania career, his turn as the emeritus superstar a la The Rock as a best case scenario or at the very least Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels, can't really come without some kind of absence from the show. Or maybe I'm just getting too much ahead of myself.

Reigns' success this year would be a huge determinant as to whether Cena can take some of the load off and help put some other new guys over for the future. But at the same time, if Cena didn't have a match on this year's card, even in a vacuum of other wrestlers in the main event in whom Vince McMahon has faith, it might not be the worst thing in the world. It's strange to say for the man through whom WWE runs even now, but the drive just hasn't been there.
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LuFisto Pens Heartbreaking Blog

March 4, 2015, 9:30 am
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LuFisto wrote a blog filled with regret, no doubt fueled by systemic misogyny in wrestling
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Via Wrestling Done Right

LuFisto took to the Internet to convey her thoughts about the Kimber Lee/Chris Dickinson flap yesterday, and the words took a tone of regret and sadness. She's taken a lot of abuse over the years, beginning her career toiling in the death match scene both here and in Japan. Price for the abuse she suffered was a minor stroke in 2010. In the blog she explains why she wrestled and the bitter regret she has for going to the extremes she went through. The most telling quote is located after the jump:

Today, at 35 years old, I gave everything I had to wrestling. I sacrificed health, relationships, family and so much more. I did everything I could to be seen as a credible fighter and I wouldn’t say no to ANY spot. I wanted to prove people wrong and that I too, could do it. I was sick and tired to hear my step-father telling me that wrestling was not for a little fat girl like me and that I wouldn’t do anything good in life. I wanted to prove those workers who, the day of my first match as I was getting ready to cross the curtain, spat on me saying I was a piece of shit and that I would quit within a year. I got injured but would still wrestle just so people would not call me a “pussy” and remind me that wrestling was not for women.

Well today, after 18 years of hard work, sweat, lots of blood and tears, where all this got me?

Nowhere.
I couldn't imagine feeling that way about any passion or labor of love, and it just crushes me to read such words of defeat written by a wrestler of whom I think the world and then some. LuFisto is a pioneer, a showman, and as tough as they come, and yet I get the sinking suspicion that a lot of the disrespect she feels could stem from her gender and how women are perceived within the wrestling business.

She flat out says that women often do crazier stuff by exponential margins in order to gain the kinds of respect that male wrestlers get for being slightly above average. I've seen this opinion used as a concern-trolling sling against ideas of intergender wrestling, as if women aren't capable of doing grotesque things to each other with no influence of men. But I agree with LuFisto's underlying point here, that wrestling is dragged into murky waters by a systemic undercurrent of misogyny, Instead dissuading them to seize opportunities out of some imaginary boogeyman, the gross attitudes should probably be attacked head on so that women can have the exact same opportunities to succeed and fail, be excellent or slink into mediocrity, without any kind of asterisk affixed to their careers.

But outside of any activist point, my heart breaks for a performer, a wrestler who should have been famous the world over for what she put into wrestling but instead is filled with regret for her own career. Wrestling is not a meritocracy, no matter how much it probably should be in its idyllic state, but that doesn't mean the tales of sorrow and tragedy ring any less sternly. It plainly sucks that LuFisto has to feel this way about her career, but hopefully, people who follow in her footsteps don't need to feel as heavy-hearted as she does now if people fight to change attitudes in the wrestling industry, from dingy training seminars all the way up to the main event of WrestleMania.
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Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Issue 21

March 4, 2015, 12:30 pm
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DeMott is in hot water again, and HORB'S GOT YOUR DETAILS
Photo via SportsKeeda.com
Well, well, well, if it isn't the readers of THE WRESTLING BLOG again this week coming to take all the scoops from ONE HORB FLERBMINBER. You know you want all my thick, juicy, veiny news stories. You know where to get all the most glorious rumors. You even know where to get all the brainiest, most erudite analysis ever. THAT'S RIGHT, OL' HORB's EXPANDING HIS VOCABULARY, SUCKERS. I AM THE BRINGER OF EVERYTHING RIGHT IN WRESTLING JOURNALISM. Can anyone else say that? The answer is no, ABSOLUTELY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY NO. Who broke the story about Vince McMahon getting ALIEN TESTOSTERONE TREATMENT in order to look jacked for the cover of Muscle and Fitness? HORB. Whose career retrospective of Superstar Billy Graham was the only one that had the GUTS to report that he was actually the Lindbergh baby all grown up? HORB. Who gave the world exclusive photos of Lana and Rusev ordering INFINITE APPETIZERS from TGI Friday's? Well, that one was Bruce Mitchell, but you can't win 'em all.

Of course, I am mining the news mine every day for scoops, NUGGETS IF YOU WILL. I work tirelessly, even when the news canary falls over dead and the mine evacuates. HORB HAS AN IMMUNITY TO THE BLACK LUNG, PA. But even though I have friends at the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER who are working on the problem, I can't be everywhere at the same time. That's why I need you, yes, YOU to give me all the tips, scoops, and credit card numbers you have. Will you get credit for it? Obviously not, HORB AIN'T GOT TIME FOR PROPER ATTRIBUTION. Send me all your information to ProWrestlingSKOOPZ@gmail.com. Also, if you want live scoops BEFORE THEY EVEN HAPPEN, follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber. If you follow me, you'll be able to find out when and where Bill DeMott beats his next trainee with a broomhandle. Will I call the cops on him this time?

If you would like back issues of the SKOOPZ newsletter, then contact me via my super secret e-mail address that I don't give out to just anyone, which is HillDawg@clinton.biz. Anyway, all the issues I have in stock are available, but the following ones are ON SPECIAL:

  • 9/7/39 - I recap the most resounding victory by a German over a Polishman that happened on September 1 of that year by recapping the Georg Hackenschmidt/Stanislaus Zbyszko match that happened at the Polo Grounds.
  • 4/30/59 - Coverage of the lost-to-history "Rocca Incident" where Capitol Wrestling headliner Antonino Rocca stepped on a piece of glass at Madison Square Garden, leading to the greatest stringing together of profanities in a single wrestling event until the inception of ECW.
  • 2/23/95 - The life and times of Eddie Gilbert, which is basically just a bunch of printed slander against him that I was afraid to post when he was alive. He knew what he did.
  • 5/17/99 - A full, four-page sitdown interview with Beaver Cleavage, with in-depth questions about his character inspiration, plans for development, and why he felt he was the guy to inherit the WWF from Austin and Rock.
  • 9/13/01 - The life and times of the Big Boss Man and Akeem the African Dream.
If you get all five, you can piece each backpage together to construct a map that leads to a super-secret spectral portal where you can go to a wonderful alternate universe where WCW won the Monday Night Wars and RAW's airtime was replaced by all the legal proceedings adjunct to the storylines happening on Nitro.

Remember to set your clocks forward an hour, then back two hours, then sideways a month this weekend.

- More accusations of abuse and impropriety against WWE head trainer Bill DeMott have surfaced, heaping more and more cases against him. Sources within the company have said DeMott only keeps his job because if he's fired, he threatens to release nude pictures of himself on the Internet, and WWE doesn't want to be responsible for scarring of a generation of fans.

- Chris Jericho came to the defense of DeMott, saying he had it "way worse" in the Hart Dungeon, which raises the question, what the fuck did Stu Hart do to those kids that was worse than slapping someone who had a concussion or throttling someone recovering from neck injury?

- Kimber Lee was thrown at full tilt from the top of the Hell in a Cell structure to the floor at the latest Beyond Wrestling Show by Chris Dickinson, another example of women, who need to be protected at all costs because they're dainty flowers, wanting to do TOO MUCH to prove themselves, thus making intergender wrestling TOO DANGEROUS. It should be banned at all costs.

- Correction to the above statement, it was Mick Foley who took the Hell in a Cell bump way back in 1998. Lee took... a hard crucifix powerbomb? THAT'S what all the pearl-clutching is about? Holy shit.

- Ronda Rousey defeated Cat Zingano in 14 seconds at UFC 184, and no one started a #GiveWMMAaChance hash-tag. Wrestling fans are such hypocrites.

- BREAKING NEWS, you, yes YOU have been added to the WWE Intercontinental Championship ladder match at WrestleMania.

- Stardust has CONFIRMED that he is not in the trailer for Avengers 2: Age of Ultron. However, he is reported to be playing a huge role in the WWE Films knockoff classic, L33t D00dz Battle the Space Jerk.

- CM Punk's current mood is unsatisfied.

- Rey Mysterio has been released from his WWE contract and he has re-signed back with the AAA promotion in Mexico. His first six-month injury layoff is already scheduled for May through November of this year.

- 38 Super League war in Dubai. He said that first raised our concerns in the country. Tacoma in the United States, and Pakistan by 38 arsye.Tema SFL SFL Mumbai in India, and the events of 2012 with some services karavamanhova that spring out of MMA. Do not know how to make the presentation of Dubai will be there, but I'm not a game Arabicasque the most progress. The main event, and an aunt Thapa 2:33 (3-0) Sami Khan Hassan (1-2).

- The New Japan Cup starts this month, and boy, do I already have a boner.

- Jon Stewart made headlines by kicking Seth Rollins in the groin on Monday night during his appearance on RAW. Bill O'Reilly has already filed the response piece about how Stewart took the coward's way out with a cheap hit and that he should have been fined by the New Jersey State Athletic Commission for his act. This statement keeps the grand tradition of conservative talking heads failing to grasp that wrestling is indeed a work.

- Poll results are in, and a resounding 93% of you think that chanting "CM Punk" while AJ Lee is in the ring is respectful, while the rest of you scumbags hate Punk and everything he stands for. Ingrates. No, I don't care that he broke my jaw twice, I LOVE YOU CM PUNK. Anyway, this week:
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Kimber Lee Is Okay

March 5, 2015, 5:30 am
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She's a wrestler, and she's okay
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Kimber Lee provided an update on her health after the nasty-looking chairshot/powerbomb combo she took from Chris Dickinson to end the latest Beyond Wrestling Fete Music card this past Sunday via a video released via the Beyond YouTube channel. You can peruse it after the jump:



For those who can't view the video or don't like playing YouTube vids at all, Lee basically said she felt fine after taking the moves and only sought medical attention to be sure. The doctors cleared her to return to the ring immediately, which is reassuring. Overall, it looks as if the powerbomb half of the combo was a bit overblown by many observers, including yours truly, but again, I would also stress that Lee and Dickinson were both incredibly lucky that she didn't hit the ringbell. Hopefully, Denver Colorado (the man, not the place!) will find a different spot to put the bell to negate any future incidents before they can begin.

The chairshot, however, is still inexcusable. What WASN'T shown on the video, however, was Lee plastering Dickinson with a fully unprotected chairshot to the head. So it's not just Dickinson who is at fault here. Dickinson, from my personal experience, is a meathead who doesn't let bumps or bruises get in the way of trying to put on what he thinks is a good match, and Lee is a shitload tougher than most of the male wrestlers I know on the indies. But regardless of what their makeups are, they need to protect themselves and each other. I continue with my strenuous objections to chairshots to the head, protected or otherwise, and Colorado has actually recognized the danger himself. He has said both parties will be penalized, although he gave no details.

But as a makegood, Colorado has set aside all proceeds from preorders on King of Arts to be donated to the Boston University School of Medicine for research on chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE. The charity drive will last until around 2 PM Eastern on Friday, so if you want some quality wrestling where the money will go to a good cause, preorder the show now.

The art of wrestling is to make people believe what they're watching is real even if it's not, and sometimes, everyone can get caught up in the wave no matter how many times they convince themselves they're the smartest people in the room. While I wholly disagree with the use of chairshots, it seems that Lee and Dickinson did a darn good job of working everyone into a frenzy in an age and a scene where it's increasingly hard to do so. It would be hollow to say everyone needs to take a step back without acknowledging that, yeah, I fell for it too, especially on the powerbomb part. But then again, nothing in life, especially not in wrestling, is in black and white.
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Ross Report Ep. 55

March 5, 2015, 7:30 am
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The Funker was Jim Ross' guest this week, but Ross wouldn't let him talk
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: The Ross Report
Episode: 55 (March 4, 2015)
Run Time: 1:42:58
Guest: Terry Funk (27:19)

Summary: Jim Ross’ guest this week is the legendary Terry Funk. They start right out discussing the Funk family’s history with Japan. Funk clarifies his comments on the current viability of babyface and heel characters, the use of gimmicks and props and the personality of most current wrestlers. Ross discusses working with Funk on commentary, which leads to Funk recounting some of his favorite old-time talkers. After a break, Ross asks about Paradise Alley, which leads to a lengthy discussion about the viability of a union for wrestlers and the different places where talented performers can flourish in 2015. Funk tells Ross about his father’s death of a heart attack, and Ross transitions to discussing the various failings of current WWE narrative strategies. To wrap up, Funk explains what steps he must take to get back in the ring and discusses his residual earnings from Roadhouse.

Quote of the week: Funk: “I am not going to go ahead and die in a wrestling ring. And I am going to personally see that I am physically capable of going in the ring and performing. And I am 70 years old and I’m going to go into that ring, and one of the guys that we’re competing against is 36 or something like that. Doesn’t make me a bit of difference. Why? Because I know what I must do in order to be successful. … I have to get my body physically in shape and better off than what it’s been in the last five years. And that’s where I am right now.”

Why you should listen: Because it’s Terry by God Funk. Somehow despite his age and a sincere belief wrestling isn’t quite the art it used to be, Funk manages to explain what he sees as challenges for modern promotions while maintaining a healthy respect for the actual performers who are trying to become stars. He of course has great stories about the past, and until this show I had no idea he felt so strongly about workers’ rights and unionization.

Why you should skip it: Because the other half of the conversation is Jim Ross. Maybe it was because I listened to most of this at regular speed, but Ross was far more unbearable here than he’s been in quite some time. I’d long ago tired of his weak Funk impression in the weeks leading up to this interview, it was even more abhorrent listening to him spit his Funk voice right at Terry. He more than once cut off Funk in the middle of what started as a great response to abruptly change topics, and he of course gave in to his tendencies to tell his own stories instead of letting the guest shine.

Final thoughts: There are better Terry Funk interviews out there. There has to be. I really did not care for this much at all, and only a miniscule part of that is Funk’s sometimes fleeting ability to complete a cogent thought. I’d really like to see what David Shoemaker could do with a written piece after a sit-down interview with Funk, Ross simply wasn’t up to the task of getting the most out of his esteemed guest. He’s the victim of the high expectations he himself built for the episode.
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Best Coast Bias: Straight Cash, Homey

March 5, 2015, 9:30 am
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hashtag not all WWE programming
Photo Credit: WWE.com
We'd bring out Rob Lowe to further underscore the point, but if you're here already, we don't need to. You already know. Before last week the main roster could barely bring themselves to talk about it unless it was as Sunday night fodder for the Exclamation Point; down in NXT, they're -- and at this point have for the past couple years consecutively -- about that life where they have wrestlers who happen to be women and not women who sometimes vaguely approximate wrestling.

It was further underscored when not only was Banks/Flair IV the main event of the evening and got two segments, but every other aspect of the show was subservient to it via a fusillade of backstage segments, squashes, and near-squashes. Even better, a pair of the segments further underscored the parts of the division that weren't competing for the big prize under the bright lights. Alexa Bliss came off the side of the milk carton to state that despite previous losses and accidentally rhinoplasties at the hands of the Boss she was back with a refreshed perspective to go against the Bostonian. And more pertinent to recent discussions of whom and whom isn't given any chance, Emma rebuffed Bayley's attempts to get her to dance, play with bubbles, or even watch the main with Bayley. The rest of the promo was apparently brought to us by RF Video as Emma noted Bayley should be in the match instead of watching it, and that Emma's niceness had taken her all the way to RAW and right back to Full Sail.

To be honest, that part of the promo was hard to hear given the length and the depth of all the shots fired at alleged creative's Monday night division. And as certain ex-pimps have taught us Southern Californians, if you stop dancing after it helped to make you a name from Mississippi to the Coast, then you are planting the seedlings of a tree made of evil. If Alexa Bliss is somehow jumping Bayley in the queue, then this iteration of Emma into black hattery will give Bayley fodder to go against, even if that seems to be a situation where neither should lose.

After those appetizers, the main course delivered the best chapter of the TV matches that Sasha and Charlotte have had. With Alex Riley missing from the table (more on which in a bit), even before the proceedings got underway Rich Brennan and Jason Albert noted the following important points from the outset:
  • It was weird seeing Charlotte without the championship
  • Sasha had never beaten Charlotte in a one-on-one match
  • Charlotte had tried to be sporting about her title loss at Rival and Sasha had shoved her for it
Keep in mind, they blew through this before the intros had started. It's always easy to remember that NXT's commentary is generally streets ahead of RAWs, but there's a difference between a narrow loss and getting Rouseyed. Banks took some early offense and then tried to use the champion's advantage to get herself intentionally counted out, but that just gave Charlotte a bit of further incentive to truck her and show off a nifty slingshot schoolgirl from the apron in. She even went for and locked on a figure four in the opening 200 seconds after using a series of kneestrikes to emboss the Boss' invite to the cravate party, only not to be able to lock on a satisfactory bridge and that gave Banks the opening to grab ropes and send us to our final commercials, including one for a big event on the 25th subtitled the Next Generation that will presumably have the Kevin Owens defense against Finn Bálor.

The bulk of the match happened in its last portion, and was full of gleeful joy for anybody who'd followed the series. Again, it's not a rivalry until its always in doubt who'll win when the opposing sides go in against each other, and Sasha was trying to win and make it one here. In the fourth installment, Charlotte knew how to counter the crossface with a rollup, and Banks knew how to counter that counter with her championship-winning crucifix. Neither finished. Charlotte would whiff on a moonsault and go for the rolling senton out of it, and the Champ would get her knees up to stymie that. As that failed to end things as well, it gave Albert and Brennan a chance to note all the counters and the counters' counters to everybody who'd gotten here with a late pass in their pockets. Banks stepped up her offensive by delivering her rope-hung double knees across the back as a setup to a ringpost bow-and-arrow and a straightjacket Backstabber/stretch hybrid to setup the full-on Banks Statement.

It wore Charlotte down nearly to the point of incapacitation and turned her face purple in spots, but she survived it. The Flair of NXT would come back with a spear that nearly made Banks spin like a wheel and receipt her with a ringpost figure four, thus drawing the second This Is Wrestling chant from the Full Sailors for a divas match ever (or as these two call it by now, old hat). Charlotte looked to finish off Banks' reign at a defense of one via the Diamond Dust nee super Natural Selection that'd put away the match for her at Revolution, but again, Banks couldn't be reached by the old ways anymore and held onto the ropes as she watched her biggest rival splat herself off of the top rope onto the back she'd been working on ever since she'd gained the offensive. Drake Wuertz, if you're reading this it's too late for you to change your decision since you missed the Boss flop on top and scoop up Charlotte's legs while putting her own on the second ropes. And it wasn't even the most egregious moment to end a fine match; some old codgers may believe that falling for the feet-on-the-ropes trick when you're a Flair is enough of a crime to get you downgraded to a Blanchard. Nevertheless, now that Banks put a victory on the board this is now a full-on rivalry and at least a best of seven instead of Charlotte breaking out the brooms in a best of five.

Ironically, last week Kevin Owens used Alex Riley like one to clean the announce table and send the NXT alumnus to Regal to state he wanted KO in the ring. Regal informed him he was to pick a lane and go down it, having learned from his own experience how untenable trying to walk both paths at once was: he was either a wrestler or an announcer. So while Baron Corbin was toying around with some fresh meat, Owens decided to force the issue by showing up and being the less scruffy Luke Harper to A-Ry's R-Truth at the table, merely standing behind him with his arms folded and letting his constant undercurrent of menace nearly sink the broadcast. When that failed to move Riley, Owens allowed himself a refreshing sip of Riley's water before pouring the rest on his head and looking nonplussed as a furious Riley swore revenge while Albert held him back. That didn't keep him from going to Regal's office, where a small miracle of long-term planning played out as CJ Parker was back there complaining that Solomon Crowe had jumped him at Rival. When Alex seethed and screamed he wanted to make Kevin pay in the ring, Parker chuckled and mentioned he was the only one to ever land a landing blow on the new NXT champion. Remember that? The one time everybody cheered KO as he won despite getting nearly KOed himself at the hand of a -- is it coming back to you now? -- CJ Parker palm strike. So Alex will now be resuscitating his in-ring career, and if you need somebody to go down to a hot new star or established new signee with indy cred, CJ Parker is your man.

The rest of the show couldn't help but pale in comparison to those major developments, but still advanced a series of plots: Solomon Crowe made a successful if slightly underwhelming debut in beating Bull Dempsey, the Bridge and Tunnel Triad of Enzo Amore, Big Cass and Carmella wanted a piece of the the tag team champions who acquitted themselves quickly and well against sacrificial lambs, and Tyler Breeze kept his bona fides up by Beauty Shotting Adam Rose outta nowhere.

The one thing that could hold a candle to another fine match between divas or the prospect of Kevin Owens apron powerbombing Alex Riley into a neck brace was a simple but bracing missive from Sami Zayn. Safely back from Abu Dhabi, he was nowhere to be found in Full Sail, or even in the United States for that matter. He was on the snowy streets of Montreal, celebrating his 13th anniversary in the business. By himself. At two in the morning. You knew what was on his mind, even if he admitted to not having the stomach to rewatch it. As Miss Bliss would later state in a fine bit of symmetry, he was wandering around where Owens and he started and getting mentally prepared to unleash the sort of hell he couldn't even describe upon his former best friend once he returned. But in that moment, he was stripped of more than just his title, and his earnestness so permeated the screen that it took his justifiable anger and subsumed it wholly in the sadness. All that was missing was him walking away to a few light piano strings playing in the background.

Zayn knows. Apparently Alex Riley wants to find out the hard way. And Finn Bálor's more than willing to prove that he isn't a former bestie to be manipulated or a never-was announcer still desperately trying to live up to high school glories. There their once and possibly soon to be slumped over bodies slump, all nothing more than marionettes at the end of Kevin Owens' strings.

Imagine what he could do if he'd had more than 90 days around here.
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 112

March 5, 2015, 11:30 am
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Would Austin's coronation at WrestleMania XIV make the cut for a Mania weekend watch party?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

Hall of Fame induction is a must. As for full events or documentaries, I wouldn't want to put my guests through too long of a sit-down. Some of those Manias can be rough, as referenced by the Retro Live Tweet for WrestleMania 2. Even X-7 and XXX, two of the most highly-regarded Manias ever, have dull points. So if it's an entire weekend thing, then I'd probably curate a bunch of of the best matches of the last 30 years intermingled in with replays of segments and matches from the past year that set the table for Mania. I'd want to give frequent chances for bathroom and snack breaks. Plus, I would probably set up a few play-throughs of this year's card on a WWE game, maybe WWE 2K15 or maybe even Fire Pro. 

I actually asked around about this the other day, and from the responses I got, it seems WWE is skittish putting her in the Hall because of a coke bust that got her fired, but also busted WWE's nut in Japan? I completely understand WWE's position not wanting to associate with known druggies, even after their rehabs...



All photos credit WWE.com
Nope, WWE runs a clean ship, so no Bull Nakano.

First, I see no reason why the entire run of RAW and Nitro, at least during the RAW vs. Nitro era, isn't on the Network right now. WWE loves to fetishize the Monday Night Wars, so why not put the whole thing up for people to relive. Second, original programming for kids is long overdue. Slam City is nice, but it's a drop in the bucket. The old cartoon isn't good enough. WWE is this multimedia empire, right? So produce some new kid-friendly shows to go on demand. Third, and this one's the pipe dream, is for WWE to license an existing independent promotion for live streaming and on-demand viewing of its shows. It doesn't have to be Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, it could be any company, even a startup. But having a stable promotion that has various indie folks cycling through is great for scouting, morale, and most importantly for the viewer, variety.

Truth be told, I haven't been keeping up with international women's soccer, or international soccer in general, but the favorites have to be Brazil, Japan, and the US, right? Japan's too easy a pick after its World Cup win in '11, and the US seems to be in flux with Hope Solo running afoul of the law so much, so gimme Brazil.

The good word is "butyraceous," which means "of the nature of, resembling, or containing butter." It may very well be the best word in existence.
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 240

March 6, 2015, 5:30 am
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Stamp HAS been booked for the Art of Wrestling
Screen Grab via moviespictures.org
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 240 (March 5, 2015)
Run Time: 1:15:44
Guest: Dennis Stamp (14:22)

Summary: Colt Cabana’s guest this week is Dennis Stamp, a veteran wrestler whose biggest brush with fame is from his appearance in the cult classic documentary Beyond the Mat. The conversation opens with Stamp’s recollections of working for the Funk brothers in Amarillo, Texas, and some stories about AWA TV tapings in Las Vegas. They talk about his memories of the movie, and after Stamp raves about his granddaughter, he and Cabana begin to loosely trace Stamp’s career trajectory, along the way discussion vivid memories of Verne Gagne, Billy Robinson, the Iron Sheik, Bill Watts, and Harley Race, among others. At the very end Stamp mentions his writing projects, and the post-plug Easter egg is Stamp reciting his poem, “I’m Not Booked.”

Quote of the week:“I have seen [Beyond the Mat], but I can’t stand to watch it, no. When I was wrestling all the time, any opportunity I had to watch any of my matches, I’d watch ’em. Every single time, I’d watch over and over because I was critically critiquing every little move, every position, how I held my leg, whatever … but now, I don’t like to watch any of ’em. I will, but I don’t like to, and I don’t like to watch that movie either.”

Why you should listen: Stamp is just great. His joy at somehow being still relevant in the wrestling scene in 2015 carries the entire episode. It’s serendipitous to have this drop the day after Terry Funk was on The Ross Report because Funk is clearly such a pivotal figure in Stamp’s life and career. Further, Stamp has a career arc similar of many of Cabana’s contemporary guests in its peaks, valleys, detours, joys and frustrations, but all those moments played out at least two or three decades earlier.

Why you should skip it: I’m actually struggling to come up with a reason here. I’ve actually not seen all of Beyond the Mat (I know, I know) so I don’t know how much of this is redundant. And as great as Stamp’s stories about the Road Warriors and Robinson, Watts, etc., might be, they’re for the most part his potentially clouded version, so you can’t book it all as gospel truth. Also, I didn’t care for the poem.

Final thoughts: I’m struggling to think of the fan demographic to whom this episode would not appeal. The best I can come up with is someone who has gotten into WWE only fandom in just the last five years or so — and to that person I suggest this interview is a fantastic history lesson that can only open several different doors, behind each of which lies another interesting chapter of the past. It’s not Cabana’s most powerful work or anything, but it’s a great guest, they have solid chemistry and the stories are just plan fun to hear. What else do you need from a podcast?
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Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

March 6, 2015, 8:30 am
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Smackdown is full of deja vu moments like above...
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Best Friends – Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, and Natalya
I'm so glad that Natalya is becoming a more fully integrated part of Kidd and Cesaro's team. During their match against Los Matadores her attack on El Torito helped the menfolk win. Kidd even included her in the celebration afterward instead of brushing her aside as he used to do. Cesaro and Kidd were fun on their own, and Nattie played the beleaguered wife well enough, but all three of them are even better as a fully functional unit. I am all-in on these three just destroying everyone together and thoroughly enjoying each other's company while they do it.

Most Repetitive Friendship – Kane and Big Show
In the past I've enjoyed the on-again/off-again partnership of these two. Now it's just tiresome as they keep going in circles. Both men declared their intention to enter and win the Andre the Giant Memorial battle royal at WrestleMania, just like they did before the Royal Rumble. We have been there and done that. Both men also had a match against Ryback (Kane lost, Show won), but since I still refuse to have anything further to do with Team Guys Who Were Fired For Like Two Minutes versus Team Authority, my notes for both matches just consist of the word “nope” repeated over and over. Two questions: If Kane is the one making matches on Smackdown, shouldn't he be more concerned with the chaos reigning over the Intercontinental Title? And what the heck has been up with Show's Knockout Punch lately? It looked like he barely tapped Ryback. Ugh, enough with all of this.

Most Repetitive Friendship – AJ Lee and Paige
Speaking of things going in circles. AJ Lee returned on Monday night and it would seem that we're exactly where we were months ago, with Lee and Paige forming an uneasy alliance against the Bella twins. “Frenemies” was even repeated ad nauseam, like we could ever forget how thoroughly the term was hammered into our collective skulls last time around. However, the good news is that the Divas were, in fact, given a chance. Despite the Bellas co-opting the movement into their heel spiel, and despite Brie Bella apparently only being able to work at one pace, her match against Lee was given a pretty decent amount of time, with Lee taking damage for much of the match yet eventually making Bella tap. As a stand-alone match it wasn't anything phenomenal, but as a first step it was sorely welcome. Of course Brie Bella has no idea how to fill more than a minute or two of time; when has she ever had to before? I have every confidence that the women of the main roster can learn to make the most out their increased time, if they continue to get it. But here's hoping we'll also get to see a different story and more women than just the Bellas, AJ Lee, and Paige over and over again.

Most Repetitive Friendship – The Miz and Damien Mizdow 
The Miz and his assistant are still in the process of breaking up. I still love both of them and I'm still enjoying their dynamic, but I can't deny that this story is getting stuck in a rut. And I honestly don't know if I want them to pull the trigger yet. Together Miz and Mizdow are hugely entertaining and they play off each other well. Apart, what is there for either of them in the singles division? Granted, one need only look at their Smackdown opponents, the New Day, for an example of how one can become equally aimless in the tag division. It was hard to care that Kofi Kingston and Big E won their match because the focus was clearly Miz and Mizdow.

Most Repetitive Non-Friendship – Rusev and Jack Swagger
Can I add Rusev vs. Jack Swagger to the list of things that I'm just not going to write about anymore? Seriously, I can't believe I had to watch a match between these two yet again, replete with pre-match pro-America blathering and eventual tapping to the Accolade. Who could have possibly seen that coming?!? Luckily, we were all saved by Curtis Axel, who continued to be an unlikely source of enjoyment. He interrupted Rusev post-match to issue a challenge confusingly couched in a Hulk Hogan homage. My favourite part was Lana and Rusev not knowing whether to be angry or confused.

Best Antidote to Repetitive Friendships – Dolph Ziggler, Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper, and Bad News Barrett
Throughout this night of apparent time travel back to feuds that I thought were dead and buried, I anticipated that the main event, featuring Ziggler and Ambrose against Harper and Barrett, would at least be super fun. It was. All four men, along with R-Truth and likely Daniel Bryan and Stardust, are going to be taking part in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania, and the match on Smackdown was something of a preview for how good said ladder match is likely going to be. All four guys went at it with a will, but Harper in particular stood out to me, and I think his inclusion in the title hunt is the one that pleases me most. There were post-match shenanigans with the title yet again, but mostly I was just thankful to end the show with something that felt fresher than everything else. There's really not much to the build for the title other than “all these guys want it,” but the character differences are still coming through. I worry whether that will remain the case if too many more people are added, but for now I'm relatively content.
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BREAKING NEWS: Bill DeMott Resigns As Head WWE Trainer

March 6, 2015, 12:20 pm
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DeMott, right, had come under fire recently for vile behavior
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Via Twitter

Bill DeMott, the former World Championship Wrestling midcarder who has been a trainer in WWE off and on since the first Tough Enough season, has resigned from the position of head trainer. DeMott has been under fire for improper treatment of his students since 2012, but he's received two separate serious laundry lists of accusations, first from former NXT wrestler Austin Draven and just two hours ago from an anonymous source on Reddit. DeMott has categorically denied any accusation, and claims to be stepping down in order to protect the good name of WWE.

I honestly have no clue what makes a good wrestling teacher, but I do know what entails being a good human being. If DeMott is guilty of a quarter of the shit he's been accused of, then he deserved to get fired before he even took any training position within WWE. A teacher is entrusted with not only the education, but the safety of his or her students, and DeMott, if these accusations are true, broke that trust on more than one occasion. Whether it was verbal berating like the gay-shaming done to Oliver Grey or out and out striking a trainee who was injured, DeMott exhibited immoral, unethical, and possibly criminal behavior. The fact that it's taken this long is proof of systemic ignorance from higher-ups at the very least, troubling to say the least.

WWE hasn't named a replacement yet. I've heard rumblings that Steve Keirn, who ran the Florida Championship Wrestling school, could return, but those were just rumblings. I would love to see Sara Amato (del Rey) get a shot at head trainer. She's done a terrific job with her charges at NXT, and I'd like to see what she could do with some of the rawer lumps of clay, especially one Baron Corbin, whom WWE seems insistent on pushing despite not having much more than presence and a cool finisher. But whether it's Amato, Adam Pearce, Keirn, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, Norman Smiley, or someone completely different, I hope the next head trainer treats his or her students like human beings first and foremost. Wrestling is a rough business without external forces aggravating the situation.
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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 200

March 9, 2015, 5:30 am
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Young was on Austin's latest milestone episode
Photo Credit: Lee South/ImpactWrestling.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed!
Episode: 200 (March 5, 2015)
Run Time: 1:45:56
Guest: Eric Young (16:22)

Summary: Austin invites former TNA Champion Young to stop by the house at 316 Gimmick Street. They talk about Young’s work on television shows outside wrestling, check in on the status of TNA and discuss the publicity obligations of being a promotion’s leading face in the media. There’s a bit of discussion about Jackie Chan, as well as the audition process in Los Angeles. Young goes over some of his favorite matches, as a spectator and participant, and describes his approach to his recent heel turn. He mentions the influence of Brian Pillman, how his early work as a comedic character helped him over the years. They ended talking about workout approaches, and Austin has a story about pooping.

Quote of the week: (Young) “The first one we recorded was the marlin episode. And man, I was in that inner tube for sometimes 12 hours at a time. We did three days of fishing. You’re a fisherman, you’re an outdoorsman, I can tell you this: Fish don’t give a fuck if you’re making a television show. They don’t care. They’re on their own time. They don’t want to get caught, you know? They’re not working with you. Mother nature hates me, hates you, hates everybody. It’s raining, it’s burning hot sun and I’m talking, they’re recording me; we probably shot 40, 50, maybe 60 hours of footage for a 21-minute show. It almost killed me.”

Why you should listen: Young is kind of an odd dude. He’s clearly a lifelong, dedicated wrestling fan (he attended WrestleMania III) and performer, who is quite serious about his craft, but he’s also got varied interests outside the squared circle. It’s easy to see why he and Austin get along so well, and their lengthy conversation here springs naturally from their common bonds. I enjoyed a TNA company man openly praising past and current WWE offerings yet maintaining a belief in the viability of his employer and its importance to the overall scene.

Why you should skip it: This chat certainly is no 200th episode spectacular. If you’ve got an active dislike of TNA, then it might make sense to take a pass. There’s nothing much from Austin in this episode you can’t glean from any of his other shows. None of it is bad, really, it’s just not groundbreaking or super revelatory.

Final thoughts: I can’t make this one a “must listen,” but I did enjoy the chat. I don’t follow TNA in the slightest, but give me Austin talking wrestling with an in-person guest over any of his email or listener caller shows, or another interview with a Broken Skull Challenge contestant or ranch roundup with Ted Fowler. If you’ve got an open mind about wrestling talk involving people who have or will never be on a WrestleMania card, you’ll be able to enjoy large chunks of this episode.
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The Intrepid Women of Wrestling

March 9, 2015, 7:30 am
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Mildred Burke was a pioneer of wrestling, not just women's wrestling, but wrestling, and you'd better remember that
Photo via Girls With Muscle
Yesterday, March 8, was International Women's Day. Of course, the cards fell so that it would occur on the shortest day of the year, which is sadly appropriate given the bullshit hand most women in the world are dealt. The same is true in wrestling, where women have played such an important role in the development, innovation, and propagation of the art of wrestling and have gotten a fraction of the credit. And their further reward is a legion of mostly male writers concern trolling them into the shadow of sometimes less talented counterparts who have penises.

This past week has been a stark reminder of how rough women can have it when Kimber Lee got roasted over the fires for an incident that definitely would not have been a blip on the radar had it been AR Fox or some other male wrestler across the ring from Chris Dickinson. Granted, while both she and Dickinson were in the wrong for the chairshots across each other's heads, no way does it become as big an issue without people making it into some grand argument against intergender wrestler because women "feel the need to take risks that might endanger them." Lee even came right out and said as much, which only led to more concern trolling rather than the more correct response that maybe writers and observers should be responding differently so that wrestlers like her don't feel the need to take said risks (which again, were nowhere near as dangerous as men like Shane McMahon, Jeff Hardy, New Jack, and countless others have taken against other men).

The truth is, Lee has only been continuing the fight that her forebears have been battling ever since the dawn of wrestling itself. Mildred Burke and Mae Young blazed the trail, and from their heyday in the 1940s, women have been doing twice the work for half the credit. Hardcore wrestling wouldn't have been as cultivated if not for the joshi scene in Japan, and half the moves that the All-Japan Pro Wrestling aces of the '90s made famous through tape-trading and importing into the Aki-engine wrestling games were innovated by women. The Burning Hammer was first known as Kyoko Inoue's Victoria Driver. Tiger Driver '91 was so named not because Mitsuharu Misawa first used it in that year, but because Jaguar Yokota debuted it then.

These women became intrepid performers who have been somewhat forgotten over the years. It would be disingenuous to say that their places in history have been wholly obscured. Performers such as Young, Burke, The Fabulous Moolah, Manami Toyota, Madusa, Bull Nakano, Sara del Rey, and Chyna have all gotten their due in some form and are beloved, but it almost feels compartmentalized. Women's wrestling is always talked about like it's some foreign art that is different from what the men do. Even though Burke often scrapped with and bested men, intergender wrestling is seen as some kind of newfangled thing that only women in the top percentile of size could do now. Lita's Hall of Fame induction featured a hype video where Michael PS Hayes grotesquely kept referring to her as a "chick." Madusa's infamous belt-dumping incident was seen as an impetus for Vince McMahon not to trust women's wrestling. It's all fraught with misogyny varying from latent to outright blatant.

The problem is that women oftentimes are shunted into narrow time periods to be honored when they should get the same spotlight men do all throughout the rest of the year. It shouldn't take International Women's Day to recognize the people in your lives who identify with that gender, and it shouldn't only take a SHIMMER weekend or a NXT special to make people realize that women are not only integrated into the fabric of wrestling without qualifier, but are an integral part of the industry, from beginning to present and into the future.

That's why wrestlers like Kimber Lee are so important, and that's why they need support and encouragement rather than being told that they need to know their roles and get back in midcard affairs with other women. These performers aren't going to get their piece of the pie by being complacent or playing by the rules. They aren't going to get noticed by fitting in, and they won't learn the same lessons as male wrestlers if they don't get the chance to fail alongside them. These messages need to be spread across the world not just on special days designed to make bleeding heart liberal men feel good about themselves, but every fucking day of the week, every fucking week of the year, and every year until the Sun gets so hot that it fries every lifeform on this God-forsaken rock called Earth.

Women's wrestling is wrestling, flat out. Women are wrestlers, flat out. It's about time that they got the credit they deserve for not only being an important part of a healthy wrestling scene today, but for innovating and pioneering in the past to get to this point.
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