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John Cena's Gonna Miss Some Time, Y'all

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Cena's gonna miss some time thanks to some impromptu rhinoplasty
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Thanks to the amateur nosejob Seth Rollins gave him on this past Monday's RAW, John Cena will be out for a few weeks at the very least. He needed emergency surgery after RAW to correct his breathing paths, and he's been pulled from WWE live events up to and including the August 10 episode of RAW (via WrestleChat). Any chance of seeing Cena drop the United States Championship will right now have to wait until the go-home RAW for SummerSlam on August 17, but even that date feels hairy at this point.

The feeling seems to be that Cena will be ready for SummerSlam, but as an easily-panicked pessimist of a wrestling fan, I'm wondering what the doomsday scenario is if Cena happens to need to miss the extravaganza from Brooklyn. WWE already has plans for the two next logical contenders to the title, Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar. Maybe Dean Ambrose can step in, since WWE seems non-committal in putting him in a program. One day, he's stanning for Reigns against the Wyatt Family, and another, he's playing the valiantly overmatched punch-drunk fool against Big Show.

Then again, Cena seems to have superhuman mutant healing powers. He seems to have come back from every single injury he's had in his career ahead of schedule, whether it be the torn pectoral muscle that led up to his surprise return at the 2008 Royal Rumble, or the triceps tear that took him out of action between SummerSlam and Hell in a Cell 2013. He'll probably be fine. Still, that injury suffered was pretty gnarly. At least he got to be in Trainwreck when he still had his good looks, eh?

RIP Rowdy Roddy Piper

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The greatest villain, and one of the greatest talkers, gone
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Rowdy Roddy Piper, the greatest villain in professional wrestling history, passed away late Thursday/early Friday in his sleep at the age of 61. The cause of death was ruled as cardiac arrest. He is survived by his wife, Kitty Toombs, and four children, including aspiring professional wrestler and mixed-martial arts fighter Colt Toombs. Piper leaves behind a rich legacy, if a bit checkered at times, in professional wrestling as well as in acting. However, regardless of anything else, Piper was one of the most effective performers for his unpredictability and his outrageousness, a quality that sometimes got him in trouble but many times was able to get crowds worked into the hottest froths, either for his opponents or sometimes for himself.

Piper first came into prominence on the west coast, mainly in the Los Angeles and Portland territories. In LA, he was an eternal thorn in the side of the Guerrero family, honing a villainous persona that needled the Latino superstars. In Portland, he was perhaps the biggest key to Don Owen's critically-acclaimed territory from the Pacific Northwest owning the hearts and minds of not only the local fans, but of wrestling observers around the country. His legend came east, and he got regular bookings in the Mid-Atlantic region. He participated in a heated feud against Greg "The Hammer" Valentine over the National Wrestling Alliance United States Championship, culminating in one of the most violent matches in wrestling history, a dog collar match where both wrestlers bled buckets. Piper himself suffered permanent hearing damage in the match.

Then, he would come into the focus of Vince McMahon, who snapped him to be the foil to his fledgling movement called Hulkamania. Without Piper, Hulk Hogan may have succeeded, but would he have reached the heights he did, especially early on? It is hard to imagine. His legend grew too unwieldy to remain a villain, and the fans began to cheer him. He had several feuds, though none as memorable as his tilts against Hogan and Mr. T through the first two WrestleMania events (the Mr. T feud was notable for real life tensions and bad feelings). His next great in-ring feud in the WWE was against Bret "The Hitman" Hart at WrestleMania VIII, which culminated in another match known for its blood.

Piper took a few years off from the ring as was his wont, returned to WWE for a couple of years where he feuded with Goldust at WrestleMania XII, and then he, like many other WWE stars of the '80s, jumped to World Championship Wrestling. He again was an antagonist to Hogan, only this time as a no-nonsense cutter through the nWo's bullshit into Starrcade '96. However, his run in WCW wasn't nearly as eventful as others who mad the jump, despite lasting in the company until 2001.

He went back to WWE twice, first in 2003, and then after a short stint in TNA in 2005 for good. He signed a Legends contract, made sporadic appearances, mostly do reprise his role in the iconic interview segment Piper's Pit. He would be inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2005 in the Hulk Hogan-themed class that also included his eternal rival, Jimmy Hart, Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Cowboy Bob Orton, and Paul Orndorff. Even as his health declined, his spirit was as fiery as ever. Any time he appeared on RAW was appointment viewing.

Like many other of his peers among wrestling alumni, Piper started his own podcast, which he got on the Podcast One Network. After a tiff with Steve Austin, Piper's show was removed from the podcast conglomerate, and WWE cancelled his Legends contract. Something appeared to be wrong with the Rowdy Canadian Scot, even by his standards (which to be fair, he's always been an erratic individual), but he still remained as feisty as ever. He had other podcast appearances lined up, and he gave impassioned comments in defense of Hogan in the wake of his racial slur scandal.

I would imagine that Piper will not be remembered for the turbulence at the end of his life. Rather, he will be recalled as one of the most effective and beloved talkers of all-time. No one was better at lighting a fuse and inciting a crowd. His charisma was preternatural, matched only perhaps by fellow deceased-before-his-time '80s WWE megastar Randy Savage, and it helped him become perhaps the most decorated crossover star from wrestling into acting with the exception of The Rock.

To wrestling fans, Piper may be remembered fondly for his exploits while those cameras were rolling. However, he made another indelible mark on pop culture at large, first in the late '80s cult classic film They Live, where Piper had several quotable lines ("I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum.") and one of the most legendary fight scenes in cinematic history. His acting roles may have skewed to B-movies, but he would come back to be the absolute best guest star in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia history as Da Maniac. He appeared in the iconic pro wrestling episode, which is on the shortlist of best episodes in the show's run, and he followed it up with another great appearance in the last season.

Piper's death has left an unimaginable hole in pro wrestling and pop culture all the same. If you're reading this blog, your life has been touched by Piper in some way, whether directly as a fan, or through his influence. Modern heels all over the continent try to emulate him to varying results, but even the best will admit that they don't do it as good as the Rowdy One did. His influence is even felt in the MMA world, as Ronda Rousey has taken the "Rowdy" moniker in his honor. Piper was a true titan, and in the grand tradition, the next week on TWB will be Piper Week.

But I would give all the tributes and all the great words to have Piper back. The age of 61 is too young to go. Rest in peace, Rowdy Roddy Piper. You're gonna be missed. A lot.

Princess of Trios?

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Can tasty treats act as proper retainers for a Princess looking to become "King?"
Graphics via @CHIKARAPro
The 15th team entered in King of Trios this year is the final one representing the Challenge of the Immortals squads. Crown and Court will be represented, and the head of the team shall be the group's royal contingent. Princess Kimber Lee will lead her frozen rudo minions, Ice Cream Jr. and El Hijo del Ice Cream, into action as the group tries to become the first ever Kings of Trios with a Queen in their midst. Meiko Satomura, Sendai Sachiko, and Dash Chisako made it all the way to the semifinals of the 2012 tournament, nearly pulling off the upset of the Young Bucks and Mike Bennett to get to the finals. Lee will look to be the first woman to burst into the finals.

However, she will have a tough task of whipping her troops into shape. Los Ice Creams aren't exactly among the elite Chikara wrestlers in terms of wins and losses (even if they are elite when it comes to comedy). I can't help but think that she'd have a better chance with fourth Crown and Court member Jervis Cottonbelly and, I don't know, maybe importing a friend from outside the COTI confines like, hey, Marion Fontaine! Still, you ride with the cars you've got, and Lee just happens to have an ice cream truck at her disposal. Sadly, it feels like her run will be truncated, but even if the Crown and Court loses on night one, I expect all four members to have some kind of impact on the rest of the weekend.

With this announcement, only one trio remains to be revealed. It could be Kevin Condron's funhouse, which could include any combination of himself, "Juke Joint" Lucas Calhoun, Missile! Assault! Man!, or the Lithuanian Snow Troll. It could be a surprise team that includes disgruntled Chikara alumni like Tim Donst or Jigsaw or Helios (note, it probably won't include either Donst or Jigsaw or Helios, whom all of you probably know better as Ricochet/Prince Puma). Personally, I'm rooting for the return of the Submission Squad, which I have a funny feeling might end up being the case. Or, it could be three wrestlers totally out of left field. Either way, whatever team is announced will be the cherry on the sundae of a field that already includes the following:

The Bullet Club (AJ Styles and the Young Bucks), Team Lucha Underground/AAA (Fenix, Drago, and Aerostar), Team Fight Club Pro (MK McKinnan and Moustache Mountain), Team Attack (Mark Andrews, Pete Dunne, and Flash Morgan), the Blue World Order (Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy, and Hollywood Nova), the defending Champion Devastation Corporation (Blaster McMassive, Max Smashmaster, and Flex Rumblecrunch), Dasher's Dugout (Dasher Hatfield, Mark Angelosetti, and Icarus), The Snake Pit (Ophidian, Shynron, and Eddie Kingston), United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado, Mr. Azerbaijan, and the Proletariat Boar of Moldova), the Gentlemen's Club (Chuck Taylor, Drew Gulak, and the Swamp Monster), the BDK (Jakob Hammermeier, Nøkken, and Soldier Ant), the Battle Hive (Amasis, Fire Ant, and Worker Ant), the Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked, Frightmare, and Silver Ant), and the Arcane Horde (Oleg the Usurper and the Batiri)

I don't know about you, but I think Trios is gonna be lit as heck this year. The 16th and final team should probably be announced sometime this week.

Roddy Piper: The Biggest Loudmouth

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A loudmouth jerk in a kilt
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The legend is that a young CM Punk happened to turn on an episode of WWF Superstars just as Roddy Piper smashed a coconut over Jimmy Snuka’s head. Inspired by this, Punk became the loudmouth jerk that captured the imaginations of all of us who take pro wrestling much more seriously than it deserves. In the documentary Best in The World, Punk talks about digging Piper not because he was the biggest or most athletic, but because he was a loudmouth in a kilt who took joy in pissing people off.

It’s interesting – and, of course, sad – that we lost both Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes within a few weeks of one another. But their proximity draws into contrast what they signified. Much of what was written about Big Dust cast him as an inspirational figure, fighting the odds and making us proud.

Roddy Piper didn’t do that. Part of his appeal was that he stuck out like a sore thumb in the cartoony WWF of the 1980’s. We didn’t know any Hulksters, creepy snake enthusiasts, macho men or Ultimate Warriors in real life. But, if your experience was remotely like mine, we knew a lot of obnoxious jerks who whose mouths continuously wrote checks that their collective butts couldn’t cash. And while it was always satisfying to see the jerks get stomped, we always kind of rooted for them. Because we knew that they were smarter, funnier and cooler than the big guys doling out the ass kickings.

Rhodes was inspirational because he appealed to our higher natures. We knew that he could overcome hard times through grit and determination. But we identified with Roddy Piper because we knew that sometimes, when the big guys had us cornered, our only option was to insult their mothers, kick them in the nuts and run.

Papa-Indigo-Papa-Echo-Romeo

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Piper went face to face with Dean Ambrose at the Old School RAW
Photo Credit: WWE.com
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper's final appearance on RAW was around Christmas time last year where he basically served as a setup for a brawl between Rusev and Ryback. It was a decent use of Piper's talents, but man, it was underwhelming based on what he'd shown at the first bookend of the year. It was a halcyon time, when CM Punk still wasn't disillusioned with wrestling, when The Shield was still together, and when the New Age Outlaws still were on televis... you know, I'm gonna redact that last one.

This episode, Old School RAW, was notable for Jake Roberts' return to WWE, but it was also Piper's last real hurrah, his last appearance that he was himself, where he was still able to show he could change the questions. And pinching Roman Reigns' cheek like Piper was his aunt held one last unpredictable flash from a guy who made his career as wrestling's ultimate wild card.

Guest Blog: Memories of Roddy Piper from a Scot

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Even if he wasn't a Scot, Piper was as Scottish as one could get
Photo via Scottish Wrestling Entertainment
Adam Wilson is a native of Scotland and a wrestling Twitter regular (@GingerPimpernel). While Roddy Piper was about as Scottish as I'm a warthog, he still left a mark on his adopted home country. Wilson's guest blog has a reflection of a faux-Scotsman from a real one.

Last night, I got home from a wrestling event in Edinburgh, Scotland (before I start, I'm Scottish, born here, and have lived here all but three years of my life). I had a great time, and took photos until my phone ran out of batteries as the main event was starting. I was buzzing on the bus home, enthusiastically talking with my partner about the show. I couldn't wait to get home, charge my phone, and tell everyone I knew how awesome the main event I had just witnessed was.

I got home, switched my phone on, and felt a lump in my throat at the words that greeted me. Rowdy Roddy Piper passes away, aged 61.

Being Scottish, Roddy Piper was a HUGE deal for me as a kid. In wrestling, places like New York, Florida, Minnesota, all have LOADS of guys. For the longest time, Piper was the only guy on the world stage in wrestling flying the flag for Scotland. We're a small country with a population of only five million (IE not far over half the city of London), so when someone representing us makes it big globally, whether it's in wrestling, other sports, music or acting, we love to see them succeed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that he was Canadian (though I'm led to believe his parents were from Maryhill in Glasgow), but that didn't matter. That's the beauty of wrestling. Here's this guy, whose accent on the 'Not in the least bit Scottish sounding' scale lies somewhere between "present day Drew Galloway" and "Mel Gibson in Braveheart", telling us he's from Glasgow. We wanted to believe him, and so we did. Ask any Scottish wrestling fan, and they'll all tell you the same thing; Roddy Piper is OUR guy. He's one of us.

It's funny. Seeing most of the memories people have posted, Roddy Piper is quite obviously best remembered by most as a heel. Yet all of my childhood memories of him are of him being a good guy. All the stuff people instantly remember, such as the coconut incident, I didn't see until years later. In fact, I saw him on the first show I ever watched, WrestleMania VII, accompanying Virgil during his match. I didn't know who was who (I walked in on my cousins watching the show during the intros for Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka, and had no prior knowledge), but Ted DiBiase was covered in dollar signs, and covering yourself in those is a cast iron signifier that you're a villain, which made Virgil and Piper the good guys by default. A Scottish guy sticking up for the underdog. I was sold.

So I went out and bought loads of WWF videos (until WCW videos made it to the UK a year or so later, those were all we had), desperate to see more wrestling. And on every release I could find, whether wrestling, doing Piper's Pit, or on commentary, he was a good guy (older releases were harder to find). The closest to being a baddie I ever saw him was against Bret Hart at WrestleMania VIII (which I rewatched last night, and is still one of my favourites), when he threatens to set about the Hitman with the ring bell. In the end though, he refused to cheat, and it cost him. On the biggest stage there was, Piper snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. If that doesn't make him a true Scotsman, I don't know what does.

Hell, at Survivor Series 1990 on commentary, he accidentally called Rick Martel a bastard. That is literally the most Scottish thing that WWE have ever broadcast.

My favourite memory though actually came a lot later on, in 2006. Sure, he was long past his heyday at that point, but it was the only time I got to see him live. In his HOMETOWN OF GLASGOW, SCOTLAND (I will fight you irl if you question that). This was when he was teaming with Ric Flair, so they paired them with his FELLOW SCOTS (I refer you to the contents of the previous parentheses) The Highlanders, to take on The Spirit Squad. Piper came out first, wearing scarves representing both of the cities rival teams, Celtic and Rangers. This is an act that in any other setting could legitimately cause a riot. Piper was unanimously cheered. He introduced Ric Flair, who got exactly the reaction you'd expect, then gave his all introducing The Highlanders. I know those guys were considered a joke within WWE, but for one night only, thanks to Piper, they were a big deal.

Last year, Piper returned to Scotland as part of a spoken word tour he did. Even before his passing, it still broke my heart that I missed out on that as I couldn't afford it. A few of my friends were lucky enough to meet the man, and by all accounts, he was a extremely nice, warm hearted person who made those around him feel like an equal, rather than just a fan. I saw a lot of the photos with him reposted yesterday as my friends shared memories of him, and he's wearing a genuine smile in every one of them (Especially Lily's, because she brought him shortbread). My heart sank when I saw a picture of him outside Edinburgh Castle, as I had been in town that day and had no idea how close I'd come to meeting one of my heroes. Until yesterday, I still thought "He'll come back soon, I'll catch him next time". The prospect of that never happening is going to take some getting used to.

I'll be honest, I gave this no forethought. I've rambled for this entire piece of writing on the spur of the moment. I have no idea how to finish this other than to say that I speak on behalf of every wrestling fan in Scotland when I say Roddy Piper, we love and will miss you. We were glad to be your home from home.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show, Ep. 242

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Austin's latest Unleashed is a Ted Fowler Ep.
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show - Unleashed!
Episode: 242
Run Time: 1:19:26
Guest: Ted Fowler

Summary: With Broken Skull Challenge on a brief hiatus due to part of its crew going on strike, Steve Austin has a lot of time on his hands, so much so that when it comes time to do a podcast, he brings on his friend Ted Fowler. Though he is by no means a celebrity, Fowler is a known figure on the podcast, having appeared in prior episodes. He is a renaissance man of sorts, if your definition of that is a guy that can do construction, work on motorcycles and tell you about different types of craft beer. Austin prefaces the podcast by saying we're about to hear two old friends just shoot the shit, and that is exactly what follows. Austin asks Fowler about his trip from his home in Rockport, TX out to see Austin in Los Angeles. They talk about trucks and motorcycles. They talk about beer. Toward the end, a couple of Austin's neighbors show up and it becomes a hangout session.

Quote of the Week: Austin - "Just the other day, my wife was going down the road and she read on her Venice 311 person she follows on Twitter that there was some lady walking around naked, and she saw the lady taking a shit over at the Shabbat Center, right in the middle of nowhere. So that's the wildlife we got, Teddy. We got a naked lady shittin' on the Shabbat Center."

Why you should listen: There obviously is a segment of Austin's listeners out there who like to hear intricate details about motorcycles and trucks. They know horsepower and all that stuff. Also, some of those people might like IPA's and drinking cool beer. Those listeners will find some fertile ground with this episode. This episode does give you some idea of what it sounds like when Austin hangs out with this friends. They're waiting for some pizza to come to the house, they're drinking beers, and that sounds pretty nice.

Why you should skip it: Ted Fowler is Austin's friend and nothing more. He owns a construction business, sure, but beyond that he is a zero of a guest. If the aforementioned subjects hold no interest for you, then this episode needs to be avoided like the plague. There is no wrestling talk, almost no talk of Broken Skull Challenge, and far too much focus on Fowler. Three minutes into the show, Austin is already asking him what hotel he's staying at, what he ordered at Jack in the Box, and how long it took to drive to L.A. No one cares. At all.

Final Thoughts: I couldn't run away from this episode fast enough. Ted Fowler is probably a nice person (actually, he's probably kind of a rich, multiple-car-owning asshole, but we'll forgive him for that). Just because Austin is friends with him does not mean we should have to hear an hour-long interview about nothing. There will be many more podcasts for wrestling fans to hit up this week, so stay away from this one and do something better with your time, preferably not riding a loud-ass motorcycle around your neighborhood and bothering everyone.

Piper and the Edge

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Moments like these highlighted Piper's dedication to controversy
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Roddy Piper was a part of several of the most memorable angles in wrestling history, but not all of them were remembered positively. WWE likes to say wrestlers are "controversial" without ever saying why or embracing the definition of the word. CM Punk was "controversial" because he said scandalous things about Vince McMahon and Triple H as characters, but what did he do that was really edgy, like, genuinely edgy?

Piper, as a comparison, skirted the line as a rule, and while many wrestling fans counted him as a favorite, whether as a hero or a villain, he offended a lot of people, even before wrestling even started getting caught up with the times in terms of diversity. The most prominent example of times he's missed the mark was at WrestleMania VI, when he painted half his body black in feuding against a mixed-race wrestler in Bad News Brown. But the WrestleMania III feud with Adrian Adonis felt a little embarrassing, and even his finest moment as a WWE employee, the legendary Piper's Pit where he babyfaced Jimmy Snuka, felt a little on the offensive side when he hit a Pacific Islander with a coconut.

To discuss his legacy without noting the times he messed up would be to do it a disservice, to be honest. Piper had warts, but did they define him? It's a hard question, and for those whom Piper's antics hit hardest, the memories may or may not be as flowery and happy. That elephant in the room has to be addressed because Piper and anyone who booked him had to know that was a true result for what he did. I don't think that makes him a bad performer, but those wrinkles come with the territory for a truly controversial wrestler.

Much in the same way that WWE can't really walk back ever knowing who Hulk Hogan was or is because of the racist things he said, Piper's negatives can't be divorced from his legacy. But in a business that demands controversy, Piper delivered it in spades. He didn't half-ass it, which is why he generated such a reaction in either direction. It's easy to say he was a product of the kind of wrestling industry he existed within, but it's definitely true.

As wrestling grows with society, and believe me, society is still moving glacially, can someone like Piper thrive in today's industry? Of course, but that person won't survive doing the exact same things Piper did and said. Art can skirt the edge without seeming damaging, but if film and theater and music have trouble finding that edge, then wrestling, especially when most if not all promoters have that "make a buck" mentality (which to be fair, may be the only way to survive when wrestling promotions aren't getting the same grants and room to fail that other arts have), is never going to have incentive to try.

In that respect, Piper was one of a kind, and yes, he should be remembered as one of the greats. He can and probably should be remembered fondly if that's the impression he left on you. At the same time, remembering anyone with a perfect ledger is a foolhardy venture, and additionally, thinking warts and mistakes make someone terrible or not worth remembering is even more of a ninny's errand. But when someone is truly controversial, that person doesn't necessarily need to be liked to be respected. Then again, the consensus seems to be that Piper is beloved, and that maybe folks can separate art from humanity a little more easily than what is expected.

Instant Feedback: Importance

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This moment made Neville look important
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Dana White over the weekend threw major shade at pro wrestling, specifically WWE and the Network's price point, saying"...but fake shit should be $9.99." The statement has been parsed to death by everyone from the WWE World Heavyweight Champion down to various fans on the Twitter machine, and I have not come to parse White's intent any further. He can believe what he wants to believe, and honestly, whatever he says has no bearing on what is presented by any wrestling company, to be honest. Those who will defend wrestling will defend it to the end. Those who buy into White's comments probably already dismissed it and were looking for validation.

But the word "fake" conjures up feelings of unimportance, of inauthenticity, of tackiness, and to a point, while I doubt White was offering a stunning insight into the world of WWE, he may have accidentally described how Vince McMahon tends to book his segments from time to time and why that's a problem. How many times over the years have all the wrestlers involved in a certain segment come out of it looking humiliated, depowered, worthless... unimportant? Denigrating one wrestler in a segment might not be considered great business, but at least if one other wrestler came out of it looking shiny and important, than it would have done its job. But the kinds of segments and matches where everyone looks like a fuckin' loser have grown over the years. It's gotten to the point where the only guy who isn't a part-timer who means something is John Cena (and possibly Seth Rollins).

But when the WWE machine decides it wants to protect wrestlers and make them look important for a night, it really does give them shine. King Barrett didn't have to waste time with the screen time-poor Zack Ryder. After a feud where his King of the Ring crown and general momentum was shoved straight up his own rear end for the benefit of continuing the wheel-spinning malaise of a R-Truth character who hasn't meaningfully evolved in nearly three years, it was refreshing to see him get a fish dangled over him. Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Paige got to establish some character, give their stable a name (albeit one that came out to mixed reviews), and were able to showcase why the Submission Sorority is an appropriate handle for the trio. Cesaro and Kevin Owens got prime real estate to continue their feud, and even Miz was able to feel like someone in his wait for Ryback to return and give him an Intercontinental Championship.

But the most important fellow on the show was a man who has been one of the most protected wrestlers whenever he's been allowed to appear on RAW. Neville can go a couple of weeks without having a match on RAW, but he always gets those important slots and has been made to feel important, like he's someone. Remember, he hit the Red Arrow on Cena during the US Championship Open Challenge and has a visual pin over him that was only thrown out from Rusev interference.

On tonight's episode of RAW, he got one even even better. By getting his visual pin on Rollins, he was shown that he's just a stroke of luck away from winning any title he tries to garner. The Red Arrow has been protected. It only failed because of Rollins' reflexes. Fans aren't stupid, and they pick up on those kinds of things. If Neville was featured every week in a showcase spot, he might be ready to get a WWE World Championship opportunity for real on pay-per-view, but the even better sign is that WWE writers and bookers are seeing that the guys who need protection aren't necessarily the ones who are going for titles.

Look at the attention paid to this Stardust/Neville feud. They're getting custom comic book graphics. Stardust is getting cutaways to build his character and send shots across Neville's bow. This match isn't going to be some nothing bullshit thing that is used to pad the junk minutes of a four-hour card. Neither is the eventual Cesaro/Owens match. Neither will whatever the women on the show eventually get involved in. SummerSlam is feeling like a card that will fill out four hours smoothly and easily, and it's not just looking like a show that needs two mega-starpowered main events to get people to watch.

(As an aside, the one thing that troubles me about Stardust/Neville is Stephen Amell's inclusion, and I hope he doesn't just come on next week to punk Stardust or whatever.)

When the character motivations are solid, when the wrestlers are presented as important, when the stories have meat behind them, then the word fake never comes into the conversation. WWE will need to keep what it's doing going not just next week or the week after, but every week in order to create a show worth tuning into 52-53 times a year. Granted, that task will be impossible, as no show is worth tuning into 52-53 times a year on a normal basis; I admit I'm one of those mutants who's there every week without fail, even if I know I need a break. But if the general arc protects wrestlers rather than humiliates, them, maybe even the bad episodes of RAW may seem like a worthwhile effort.

Madison Square Garden Remembers Roddy Piper

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The folks at MSG recall the greatest villain (not named Michael Jordan) to perform in its halls
Photo via @TheGarden

Madison Square Garden may not appear to be all that big a deal in today's WWE parlance. Sure, the company runs big house shows there, but it hasn't played host to a televised WWE show since Survivor Series 2011. Costs may have something to do with that, and WWE now uses the Barclays Center as its prestige arena in its home city so to speak. Once upon a time, however, WWE's house show loops would culminate with huge shows at the legendary arena, a practice that seemed to have ended when the venue hosted its final WrestleMania, the ill-fated Mania XX.

Rowdy Roddy Piper was a star performer for WWE back towards the end of the territorial days of the then-WWF and at the nascence of its national expansion. He was in the main event of the most important WWE card of all-time, held at the Garden, the first WrestleMania. While Hulk Hogan could be argued as the company's most important major draw, he wouldn't have been the same dynamic force without his nemesis, Piper, stalking him, prodding him, pushing him. And thus, MSG honored Piper in the wake of his passing. It's nice to see more than just the usual suspects pay homage, even now, when MSG is less and less attached to its most important wrestling tenant by the day.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art of Wrestling Ep. 261

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Cabana's fifth year anniversary had old audio from Kevin Owens, back when he was still Steen
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art of Wrestling
Episode: 261
Run Time: 50:46
Guest: Kevin Steen (kind of)

Summary: It's the five year anniversary of Art of Wrestling, and rather than throw a big party with a bunch of guests, Colt Cabana is in a bit more of a reflective mood. Going solo for most of the episode, Cabana thinks back to his expectations of the show back when he started it, and how far it has come since. He acknowledges that the podcast market is now over-saturated, so he remains quite grateful that he still has a dedicated audience. Cabana knows that he is disliked by all the major wrestling companies, so this podcast functions as a way for him to go it alone and carve out his own niche. For the second half of the episode, Cabana pulls out a few clips from a previously paywalled episode featuring Kevin Steen, in an interview from 2012. The interview finds Steen in a very bad place, hopeless and downtrodden, considering total retirement from the wrestling business. He and Cabana work through Steen's options for the future, but the conclusion is that there might not be much reason for optimism.

Quote of the Week: Steen - "You made the right choices, and you did the right things to get as far as you could. You were in WWE for a while, and there's no telling what's going to happen. You could very well go back and probably will. But I literally never made that choice. I made the choice to eat pizza and not work out. And now I'm 27 years old and I really regret it, when I used to not regret it. Even though I love myself and I love what I am in the ring, and I'm fine with what I am, I know that I never made the choice to fully put myself in this."

Why you should listen: Cabana's decision to do some independent reflection is a wise one, as he keeps it at a fair length and doesn't do too much navel-gazing. He talks to his audience with enthusiasm and a passionate connection. It's tough to hear him speak about his five years in podcasting without hoping the best for him. Where the episode really gets good is in the Kevin Steen interview, which Cabana plays for a reason. He says the theme of Art of Wrestling is that we all struggle to get where we want to go, and this struggle is perfectly exemplified in Steen's great depression of 2012. The honesty and frankness in which Steen speaks about his perceived failure in wrestling is shocking, but it's made even more shocking when we view it in light of his meteoric rise in WWE.

Why you should skip it: Cabana acknowledges that anyone who paid a couple dollars in 2012 to hear the Steen interview might be a little upset that a portion of it is being played for free here. Those who are looking to hear a brand new guest will also be let down by an essentially guest-free podcast, but that shouldn't put anyone off from hearing this.

Final Thoughts: This is a really great episode of a podcast that has always functioned as the pro wrestling version of WTF with Marc Maron. Cabana wants us to think about life through the lens of wrestling, not just about wrestling and nothing else. Though Kevin Steen's situation in 2012 might seem foreign to some, since he was a guy who made people bleed and licked their blood, he was still describing a very real situation. He desperately wanted to provide for his family, and he was feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt due to his failure to be that provider. He had basically decided that bigger opportunities in wrestling were never going to knock. Perhaps it was this anger with himself that motivated Steen to turn his life around and step up his game, resulting in his being signed by WWE. We are able to listen to Kevin Steen fat-shame himself in 2012 only because we now know that in 2015, a trimmer Kevin Owens will invade RAW and powerbomb the shit out of John Cena. Hindsight is 20/20, and it is oh so sweet.

Inspire Pro's Fade To Black Preview

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SUNDAY!
Graphics via InspireProWrestling.com
It was several weeks ago when I promised a weekly series of columns detailing what was going on with Inspire Pro Wrestling. Unfortunately, due to a number of factors centering around laziness, I was only able to complete one. In it, I detailed Andy Dalton’s reign as Inspire Pro Champion and Ricky Starks’ quest for the gold, ahead of their title bout at Fade To Black. So, instead of trying to cram six more pieces into this final week leading up to Fade To Black on August 9th, you’ll be getting a standard preview of the entire show, with each part truncated so as not to be 50,000 words.

, firstly, let’s take a look at the card:

1. Inspire Pro Championship: “Dirty” Andy Dalton © vs. “Absolute” Ricky Starks
2. Pure Prestige Championship: Keith Lee © vs. Angelus Layne
3. J*Crown Championship: “Just” Steve-O Reno © vs. Sammy Guevara
4. XX Championship: Veda Scott © vs. Mystery Opponent
5. 3-Way Match: Barbi Hayden vs. Kimber Lee vs. Athena
6. Trios Tornado Match: “The Texas Lion” Carson, “The Pride of Texas Wrestling” Barrett Brown, and “That Guy” Scotty Santiago vs. “One Man” Mike Dell, “Untouchable” Alex Reigns, and Moonshine Mantell
7. Four-Way Match: Scot Summers vs. Everett Connors vs. Terrale Tempo vs. Cherry Ramons
8. Tag Team Match: Center of Perfection (“Centerfold” Matthew Palmer and Franco D’Angelo) vs. The Pump Patrol (Jared Wayne and Curt Matthews)
9. Trios Match: Teddy Hart, “Ultimo Sex Symbol” Thomas Munos, and “Born Dead” Sky De Lacrimosa vs. Rabid Empire (Thomas Shire, Zac Taylor, and DG Taylor)
10. Tag Team Match: House of Wolves (Erik Shadows and Matt Riot) vs. Mystery Team

The Inspire Pro Championship I already discussed at length, so we’ll obviously be skipping that. There are three other Championship matches, though, and they are some big match-ups. The first of which we have is Steve-O Reno defending the J*Crown against former J*Crown Champion and a man we never thought we would see in Inspire Pro again, Sammy Guevara. Inspire Pro severed ties with Guevara following a series of incidents that made it hard to do business with the man for the foreseeable future. But time heals all wounds and past transgressions, and so, it’s a year later, and Guevara has returned, aligning himself with Andy Dalton, Angelus Layne, and Davey Vega (and, I assume, also Tim Storm).

At Clash at the Bash II, Reno pushed Dalton to the absolute limit in their Inspire Pro Championship Match. Reno was able to effectively fend off Vega and Layne throughout the match, but it was just Dalton’s ability to nudge his shoulder off the mat during a double pin that kept the title around his waist and giving Reno his first, direct, singles loss. (He’d lost a tag team match to The Orphans when it was simply just one too many handicap matches for him to compete in thanks to his former Hollywood Knives partner, Bradley Axel Dawson, being unable to remain conscious for longer than ten seconds. He also so a three-way at Fun Fun Fun Fest, but Jojo Bravo was the one pinned by Vega.) After the match, Ricky Starks aided Reno in fighting off Dalton, Vega, and Layne until Guevara surprisingly hit the ring and kicked Reno in the back of the head.

He then broke the crown.

That leads us to their big showdown this Sunday, August 9th, at the Marchesa Hall and Theatre in Austin, Texas. Reno has faced a lot of big challenges in Inspire Pro and he’s overcome them all, with the only real blemish being his narrow loss to Dalton. They don’t call him Mr. Inspire Pro for nothing. But Guevara? He’s a different beast entirely. Here’s the thing about the self-dubbed “The Best Ever,” he’s really fucking fantastic at wrestling. His match with ACH at Light the Fuse is still one of the best matches ever in Inspire Pro history. And that was months before he won the J*Crown in a killer Ladder Match with Ricky Starks and Barrett Brown. He’s good, he’s just so goddamn unlikeable. He just has that face you want to punch repeatedly. So, it’s perfect that he has joined up with Dalton, another man who just elicits this rage inside of you.

The main question is, will Guevara be alone and will Reno have anyone with him? Starks won’t be able to help him out, because he has a big match of his own, the biggest of his career some would say, that he has to be ready for. I guess it depends on the placement of the match. If it’s early, he could, but it’s doubtful regardless. The match itself, though, if it isn’t completely overrun with shenanigans could very well be your match of the night. I’m going to say it will be. I just wonder, will they have a new crown for the winner? Let’s hope so, it’s probably the most unique championship in wrestling today.

Other than the J*Crown, the Pure Prestige, the most hotly contested title in Inspire Pro at the moment, will be on the line when Keith Lee defends against Angelus Layne. The first intergender title bout in Inspire Pro history. Which funnily happens with the Pure Prestige and not the J*Crown, a belt that was specifically stated to be intergender. Doesn’t matter though, because Inspire Pro is all about breaking barriers, and hopefully this leads to a woman challenging for the Inspire Pro Championship down the line. There’s not reason to have sex-specific titles in this day and age anyway.

How does a match like this come about? Well, as I mentioned, the Pure Prestige is now heavily under attack from a lot of people. First, it was Davey Vega, who upon defeating Donovan Danhausen, put his name in the hat to challenge Lee. Next it was Layne, who was in a tag team match with Vanessa Kraven against Delilah Doom and Jessica James. After the match, Lee came down to help out Doom, and Layne, who had stolen the title from Chris Trew’s arms and blasted Doom in the face with it, stated simply that if they wanted things to end between her and Doom, if they wanted to save Doom’s life, all Lee had to do was accept her challenge for his belt. If not, she would not stop until she destroyed Doom. So, of course, Lee had no other option but to accept the match. So, she has the first shot at the gold, but Vega is also in line, not to mention the returning Scot Summers. Summers has been gone from Inspire Pro for a number of months, but his fingerprints are all over the Pure Prestige Title even though he’s never actually held the belt.

It was Summers who introduced the World Class Championship into Inspire Pro for a certain set of wrestlers who wanted to compete for something that was true to the history of professional wrestling. Pure wrestlers. Wrestlers without wild gimmicks and weren’t flashy in the ring. It was for tough as nails competitors. But it was never an official title. So, at last year’s Battle Wars (Battle Wars II coming September 13th!!!!), he was scheduled to face Teddy Hart. He was unable to make it, so the Inspire Pro brass took it upon themselves to create a new title, the Pure Prestige title, one that was official. Thomas Shire won that inaugural bout, but lost the belt a few months later to Lee.

But Summers returned at Clash at the Bash II and laid it on the line for Lee. He essentially created that belt and he wanted it. So, somewhere down the line, whether it’s against Lee or not, Summers will be challenging for the Pure Prestige Championship. At Fade To Black, though, it will be Layne, who will undoubtedly have help in her corner (hopefully, one day, we’ll get a multi-person match between Dalton’s group and The New Movement). Lee will, of course be accompanied by Trew and maybe a couple members of The New Movement, but they are long since past being about winning at all costs. So, this will have to be Lee doing it on his own, and while, yeah, he’s a special kind of talent, who is massive in size and ability, you can’t discount Layne. She’s a tough woman who has no fear. She won’t be intimidated, that’s for sure.

The final title match of the night will see Veda Scott defending her XX Championship against Jessica James. Now, it should be noted that when Scott defeated Leva Bates at Clash at the Bash II, she completed her contractually obligated number of title defenses. A defense she tried to get out of by simply being counted out, but it was then announced that the match was no countout and no DQ, which was a strange way of doing things, but it is what it is. Even with that in mind, she agreed to appear at Fade To Black, but the Inspire Pro brass has stated they have not heard from Scott or her legal team in weeks. So, they went ahead and opted to give James the shot. Whether Scott will agree to the match or not is hard to say. But she has an easy out, if she wants it, by just saying James hasn't earned the shot. It was James, after all, who was pinned by Scott that won her the XX Championship (after Athena hit the O-Face on her). So, I could see her not backing out of the match. Although, maybe she will think it's an easy win? Whatever the case ends up being, we're sure Scott will only agree to something that is most advantageous for her. Never should have gotten into business with a wrestling lawyer, Inspire Pro.

Outside of the titles, we have six other matches. Two of which are Trios Matches. The first of which sees the newly formed Rabid Empire (led by Nigel Rabid) team of Thomas Shire, Zac Taylor and DG Taylor (Jojo Bravo is also a member, but is not on the show officially) take on the odd pairing of Teddy Hart, Sky De Lacrimosa and former referee-turned-wrestler Thomas Munos. The match came about following the events of Clash at the Bash II, when the Taylor Brothers turned on their Orphan brethren, De Lacrimosa, after they announced they had been adopted into the Rabid Empire, which left De Lacrimosa to fight and lose their trios match against The Great Depression, The Red Scare, and The Hollywood Strangler. The Rabid Empire then went on to attack Teddy Hart and El Mariachi Loco following a Triple Threat Match that also involved Bravo, but when Thomas Munos came in to help out, they chased the Empire off. It’s pretty straight forward.

The second Trios match will be contested under Tornado Rules and pits two teams together that had an all out brawl at CATB2. Carson, Barrett Brown, and Scotty Santiago fought Mike Dell, Moonshine Mantell, and Alex Reigns all over the Marchesa in a match that had to be thrown out because it just got too wild and uncontrollable. The solution was to simple make it Tornado Rules and to have TWO referees, one inside and one out, to help contain the match so that we can see a winner. The x-factor for the contest, however, will be Carson. He is currently injured, so will Brown and Santiago go at it was the disadvantage or will they pick up a third? And if they do, who will it be? There doesn’t seem to be anyone currently involved with Inspire Pro that would have any sort of beef or history with any of these men. Because, outside of Dell, everyone else has mostly been either aligned-with, or fighting each other. Could it be someone like “Cowboy” James Claxton? He hasn’t been seen in awhile, but he’s also apart of a team with Killer MacKenzie (who have a first round bye in the Tag Team Tournament, whenever that happens). Here’s the only thing we should reasonably expect: chaos. It’s going to be crazy.

We also have two, straight-up, tag team matches, the first which pits The Pump Patrol against The Center of Perfection (Matthew Palmer and Franco D’Angelo). Wait, weren’t those two at odds with each other after D’Angelo cost Palmer the Inspire Pro Championship and ended his career with the company? Why, yes, they were. So much so that at CATB2, The Bionic Beast was set to take on Athena (who is Palmer’s girlfriend, but this will be the only time we mention that because that’s not who she is as a wrestler). Instead of Athena, though, D’Angelo was greeted in the ring by Palmer (wearing Athena’s pre-match robe to hide his identity) and the two men battled right out of the Marchesa. Later in the evening, D’Angelo returned and dragged Biss into the ring, demanding that he reinstate Palmer so that he could fight him. That all turned out to be a ruse just to get Palmer back under contract. Does it make sense? Kinda? It feels very much like a rushed storyline and it probably was for a number of factors that aren’t of any relevance. Here’s what we know though: Palmer is back and he still wants to kill Dalton. Hopefully that doesn’t interfere with Starks’ shot at the Inspire Pro Title, but it is what it is. What we also know is that D’Angelo still wants gold of some sort, so he and Palmer are teaming up and taking on The Pump Patrol it was is probably just a preview for their entry into the Tag Team Tournament (‘cause as I said in the Inspire Pro Title piece, Palmer-Dalton doesn’t need to be about the title going forward) and, well, Curt Matthews and Jared Wayne are the two unfortunate men tabbed to meet this team head-on. Sorry, guys.

The second tag team bout will see the House of Wolves (Erik Shadows and Matt Riot) face a mystery team. They simply laid out an open challenge in what most definitely is a preview for the Tag Team Tournament. Who will answer the challenge? That’s anyone’s guess. Inspire Pro has had several tag teams come and go, but one of the more recent ones was the team of Kyle Hawk and Gregory James, Extinction and Sorrow. It could be them or it could be a team we’ve never seen before. I kinda hope it’s someone new, because I always like seeing new people at Inspire Pro. Either way, it should be a good showing.

The final two matches are mulit-person bouts, which could have implications in their respective divisions. The first will surely have ramifications within the Pure Prestige Title division, as Scot Summers will be competing with three other men, two of which are making their Inspire Pro debuts. The first is New Movement member, Cherry Ramons, who is returning from injury. He’s someone we all know, and he just continues to get better. Joining them will be Everett Connors, who was trained by Michael Elgin (you may know him as a former Ring of Honor World Champion and currently competing in New Japan’s G1 Climax), and is making his Texas debut. The other competes mostly in south Texas, Terrale Tempo. Now, Tempo is someone I’ve actually seen before. When we traveled to Del Rio, Texas, right on the Mexican border, to see Samoa Joe take on Brian Cage, Tempo was also on the show. He has a good look, is quite talented, and I think will make a great addition to Inspire Pro if they choose to continue using him in the future. I was impressed by him and I’m hoping he can have a good showing in this match. But, let’s be real, this is all about Summers. He’s already let it be known why he’s back and this is simply a showcase. Sure, a showcase for three other men to show what they can offer, but Summers has this one.

The final match will undoubtedly put one of these women in line for a XX Championship match in the future. It will be the former NWA World Women’s Champion and former Number One Contender to the XX Title, Barbi Hayden, taking on the woman who actually hit the move that allowed Jessica James to be pinned by Veda Scott to win the title, Athena (the woman who has been responsible for the best women’s matches in Inspire Pro history thus far: vs. Hayden, vs. Niki Savoy, vs. Kat Green; those are your best women’s matches in the company’s history), and the returning Kimber Lee, who was last seen at Ecstacy of Gold II, where she lost to Jessica James. Now, all these are three of the most well-known and well-traveled woman in the world (Hayden just coming off a tour of China for crying out loud) and will no doubt put on a hell of a show. It hasn’t been stated that the winner gets anything, but you have to know they will. Athena wasn’t cheated out of the XX Title, but she would have won had Scott not dumped her out of the ring and stolen her pin, and Hayden had her guaranteed shot at the gold taken away because she wanted to take the easiest way possible to getting it, by paying off a referee. Surely, we will get a detailed rundown of the referee’s bank account prior to the match starting. And Lee, well, she lost her only match, but she’s Kimber Lee, she can just point to her career thus far to show why she deserves a shot. I hope, one day, we can get an entire show of just women’s matches. I still say Inspire Pro should find some way to book a G1 Climax-style tournament for women. Have no idea how they would do that, but if anyone could, it would be them.

And that is it for Inspire Pro’s Fade To Black. It’s ten big matches, all of which will be worth the price of admission themselves. Inspire Pro just keeps having these excellent shows and managing to top themselves month-to-month. It’s crazy. Eventually that’s going to stop, right? Surely they can’t keep up such a hot streak? It can’t. They’ll have a stinker at some point, but I don’t think it will be this one, and it won’t be Battle Wars 2.

So, if you are in the area of the world, make the trip to Austin, Texas this Sunday, August 9th, pop by the Marchesa Hall and Theatre around 5:15pm central time to get you a good seat (although if you haven’t purchased them ahead of time and haven’t gotten in line by 4pm, you’re probably going to be standing) to witness that action that kicks off at 6pm. You are not going to want to miss it. Trust me.

Guest Blog: Rock 'N Piper

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Piper on Rock 'n Wrestling was as important as he was in the regular narrative
Screen Grab via Behind the Voice Actor
Joey O. is a Philadelphia wrestling bon vivant and also a DJ for Y-Not Internet Radio. He's here to share his thoughts and recollections on Hot Rod.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper was my first favorite wrestler growing up, and yes it was entirely rooted in his role as the leader of the heels on Hulk Hogan's Rock N Wrestling. While I remember Hulkamania being omnipresent in the mid-80s, Piper has always been burned in my brain as my favorite, pretty much entirely thanks to that show (and the array of those giant rubber LJN toys my friend Sean and his brother had scattered around their house... I'm almost positive they had Piper).

Oddly, I barely saw him in the ring back then, since I didn't really watch the WWF until the Warrior-HBK-Taker era of the late '80s/early '90s. Of course I eventually saw his attention-grabbing charisma and obnoxiousness on the mic; always with that smirk that showed how much he loved stirring the pot while simultaneously entertaining the fans. After I signed up for the Network last year, I watched the Roddy Piper Story documentary, which I highly recommend, as it really gives you the full scope of his career.

How many times has WWE shown Piper saying, "Mr. Dow-ney" and blasting a fire extinguisher in Morton Downey Jr.'s face? (Why was that guy famous again?) The Snuka-in-Piper's Pit coconut attack is unquestionably one of the most iconic moments in wrestling history. Even in recent years, his appearances on WWE TV showed he could still turn from jokey to serious intensity on a dime. His influence on generations of shit-talkers will be felt for years to come.

RIP Hot Rod.

Help Jerry Lynn Pay for His Neck Surgery

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Jerry Lynn needs YOU
Photo Credit: George Tahinos via WWE.com
Go Fund Me!

Jerry Lynn is in a bad way right now. He's staring down the barrel of major neck surgery, and while he has health insurance, he doesn't have the money in his pocket right now to cover his deductible and income lost from work during his recovery. Now, everyone seems to have some kind of crowd-funding initiative going, but not all of them are to cover medical expenses, and not every day does a veritable legend of the ring have his friends come before his many thousands of fans asking for help with the wages of his career.

Lynn is universally reputed as one of the nicest and most giving guys in wrestling history, so it's only natural that people are going to bat for him. Now, the $5,000 deductible has been covered already, but the goal of $15K is still a ways off. Trust me, he needs all the money he can get. So be a dear and either donate to this crowdfunding initiative, or at least spread the word. Lynn is one of the good ones. It's time to give back.

From the Archives: Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T at WrestleMania 2

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Piper the Pugilist
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The first WrestleMania main event included six intrepid characters. Hulk Hogan teamed with Mr. T with Jimmy Snuka in their corner, while Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff had Bob Orton as a second. Hogan's path as Champion sent him down a different path for the sequel event, namely into the big blue bar cage against King Kong Bundy. Piper and T, however, kept their hostilities going, and boy, the hostilities were definitely more real than what anyone was letting on. Basically, Piper legitimately disliked T because T treated all their encounters like it was real.

So in retrospect, maybe putting them in a boxing match wasn't the best idea. Hell, promoting a boxing match between an actor and a wrestler isn't the best idea in general, but WrestleMania 2 was a weird, weird event that didn't conform to most norms. It wasn't a good match, but it was interesting for the aftermath. Even if the whole thing went to hell, Piper ending the match on the disqualification turned out to be yet another piece of flair added to his legend.


Roddy Piper vs Mr.T WWF Wrestlemania 2 1986by LindenMurry

You Do Not Throw Rocks at a Man Holding a Machine Gun

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Piper talked a big game...
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Part of the allure of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper was that he was always writing checks with his mouth that his body couldn't cash. Well, maybe that statement isn't totally true; Piper's brain was part of his body. One could understand him picking a fight with Hulk Hogan or Adrian Adonis or Greg Valentine. Those men, even Hogan in his godlike spotlight and choirs of Roman choruses singing his name wherever he went, were mortal.

But Andre the Giant? Yeah, if you piss him off, odds are you were ending up in a proverbial bodybag, which is to say I don't think he legit killed anyone. However, would you go up to a man proportioned like Ol' Andre and fuck with him? If you were sane, you wouldn't. If you were Piper, however, well, that would have been a whole different story. As you can find out for yourself in the following video, Piper has a bit of trouble getting a straight answer out of Andre over Big John Studd's claim that he bodyslammed the giant Frenchman. It wasn't much of an interview, but it certainly did its job.

The line "You do not throw rocks at a man holding a machine gun" became one of Piper's most iconic lines, but the actual context of it makes it even more ingrained in his DNA as a performer. It's brilliant.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show, Ep. 243

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Austin talks to a country music star this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 243
Run Time: 1:05:50
Guest: Easton Corbin

Summary: Steve Austin jumps onto the tour bus of Easton Corbin, a modern-day country singer of whom Austin is a big fan. Austin is eager to discuss Corbin's music, especially the songs off his new album, About to Get Real. Austin's favorites are "Wild Women and Whiskey" and the simply titled "Yup." Corbin prides himself on playing a brand of country that can be played on modern country radio, but doesn't veer too much into the hip-hop/pop brand that is dominating the landscape. Corbin tells his story of getting a record deal in Nashville, which amounts to knowing a guy who knew a guy. There is much conversation about the music business and how an artist can successfully build an album by releasing singles. Very briefly, Austin and Corbin touch upon their mutual love for fishing and hunting.

Quote of the week: Corbin - "In order to be competitive out there, you gotta be young, you gotta be fresh, you gotta be current. But for me, it's still about keeping the traditional country fibers within that. I feel like my voice definitely lends that to whatever I do. I'd sound like an idiot trying to rap."

Why you should listen: I'll admit that I was skeptical going into this one, as 99% of the modern country guys strike me as vapid and useless. But listening to a few of Corbin's songs and then hearing him talk at length about his musical process ended up being pretty engaging for me, though this might be due to my own experience playing in bands for half of my life. Corbin gives us an intriguing window into the Nashville industry, as he openly discusses how songs are basically submitted to his management by aspiring or established songwriters. He compares searching for songs to an actor trying to find the right script. For those interested in music, this episode is successful at a surprising rate.

Why you should skip it: Once again, Austin gives us an episode with a focus totally away from pro wrestling, which will frustrate some listeners. Austin's lack of musical knowledge shows when he constantly brings up Corbin's songs, and his only real comment on any of them is: "Man, I sure do like that song." As for Corbin, his mere presence will probably turn off those who refuse to acknowledge the existence of modern country. I'll admit to being turned off a few times, like when Corbin refers to his songs as "new product," or how he doesn't get to play guitar onstage as much as he'd like to. Dude, you are your own boss. Play the damn guitar and don't let anyone tell you what to do, you Nashville stooge.

Final Thoughts: We can at least be happy that Austin didn't interview the goofballs from Florida-Georgia Line, or any other nonsensical country act that gets by on their love of drinking Busch Light by the river. Corbin is a relatively inoffensive presence for a podcast - not the most intellectually stimulating guy, but also not so dumb that he can't carry an interview by himself, which is mostly what he has to do since Austin doesn't ask the best questions here. For a window into a world of music you might not normally be receptive to, this episode will be great. But if your general opinion is "Country sucks, I want wrestling," - and that's a perfectly valid opinion - then mosey on the down the road.

Dispatches from the Lake: The Body of a Canadian

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Piper, more than a wrestler
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The last time I openly wept for a wrestler passing was Randy Savage. Sure, Dusty Rhodes hurt, but Savage was one of those omnipresent figures in my life. He was always just on the periphery, waiting to appear and bring a dorky smile to my face. When I saw Spiderman for the first time, my eyes lit up when he graced the screen. I was working in a union office when Savage died, and I cried at my desk when I read the article. Co-workers came over to ask what was wrong, and I would explain. They’d stare at my like I had three heads and return to their empty, professional wrestling-less lives.

I had a similar experience years ago, when a co-worker sat me down to watch They Live.

I was at a family dinner when I got the text that Rowdy Roddy Piper passed. I managed to keep it together, mostly because trying to explain why you’re crying about some has been wrestler is the most annoying thing. Hell, trying to explain why you’re crying about a wrestling match is even harder.

I kept Piper in the back of my mind until I popped on Raw Monday night. I cried. I read Brandon Stroud’s lovely story about meeting Piper in his Best and Worst of Raw column for this week, and I’m still crying about that. I’ll cry re-watching They Live tonight, because a great, kind man has left this earth a little lighter.

It feels like a stupid thing to mourn a man, or more accurately, a larger than life cartoon character. Even now, I can’t really explain why it makes me so sad. I’ve been to family members’ funerals where I didn’t cry, but here I am, quietly crying at my desk about a man I never met. Why?

Because Piper was more than just a cartoon character. He was able to reach beyond the screen and, to quote Jake "the Snake" Roberts, fuck with our emotions. He made a connection with you, even if it made you hate him. He was an amazing villain. I remember watching him on Saturday mornings and hating him with my whole heart. As you got older, that hate melted away. You can’t help but respect a man so good at his job, and love him for all that he threw into it.

You want a valid reason for why I cheer heels? Rowdy Roddy Piper should be all you need to hear.

I’ve been listening to the Pogues’ The Body of an American a lot the last few days. It reminds me a lot of Piper. Give it a listen.


Maybe I’m off base. Piper’s Scottish, not Irish. He was Canadian, not American. But Big Jim Dwyer’s life makes me think of Piper and smile. Maybe it'll make you guys feel better too. So, if you’ll join this Polish-Italian mutt, flip the song on again, grab a shot of whatever you’ve got handy. Raise it up.

May your entrance to the ring be ever clear, your sleeper hold be ever tight, and your three counts be ever swift. Chi mi a-rithist thu, Roddy Piper.

Guest Post: You Changed the Questions

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Piper was always changing the questions, and that struck a chord with a lot of people, including De
Photo Credit: WWE.com
De O'Brien is a wrestling fanatic who also writes the excellent Stretch Plum blog. She has a perspective on how Roddy Piper's originality and brashness helped cultivate her wrestling fandom.

You’re a girl.

You like boy things. You don’t talk about that because your mom doesn’t want the other moms to say anything; they already do because you’re bossy and you like to tell the other kids what to do on their work because you finished yours and you’re using words like “juvenile” in preschool, and they skipped you a grade, but you aren’t very smart, you’re just not what they expected you to be,

You won’t grow your hair long.

Your mom despairs of that. Your sister, she says, brushing said goblin’s hair until it’s shiny and a mass of fluffy, hateful curls, loves her hair long, isn’t that right? “You know,” she says to your dad one day, and you’re not sure if she means for you to hear, “She has to be different.” The back of your neck is an angry bright red because they used the lowest clip guard and your hair is short. You couldn’t care less.

You got pregnant and married young.

That wasn’t the plan. “You’ll go to school! And while you’re there, you’ll get a job and send money so we can send your sister!” That’s not how it’s going to work, but they don’t know that. It’s not as if you did it on purpose, but when you hold your first child, of five, you like the way this worked out.

You’re a woman.

You write about wrestling. No one pays attention to you because you aren’t popular. Your opinion means nothing. You don’t understand the business, you write about how it makes you feel to be a fat girl idolizing fat women kicking ass in a country you won’t see before you die, you write about your dead heroes. You’re from the South, you’re white trash, you’re missing a tooth.

You’re a stereotype.

They can’t make you feel like one. You’re forever not what they expect.

No one expects you to be literate. No one realizes you’ve read, you understand culture, you’ve been outside your box and you’re more than living in a trailer and sometimes waking up with roaches on your face and crying in the kitchen of a two room apartment because you had a pawn a TV you’re renting because you had no money. You’re more than ill-fitting clothes and a billow of lard around your waist and poorly cut hair and badly made glasses.

You’re not that kid from Saskatoon who was expelled from school for carrying a switchblade, whose dad was a cop, who couldn’t make it work with the old man.

You’re not that kid someone somewhere figured would never make it.

They always thought they knew the answers. Loser. Lowlife. Villain.

You acted. You did podcasts. You were shockingly well-spoken. You were crazy. You weren't just a bad guy. You were a legitimate threat to their perceptions.

You changed the questions.

I did too.

Thank you.

The Miz Plays Homage

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The Miz was, in a word, awesome in his Piper tribute
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The Miz, like Brandon Stroud put it in Best and Worst this week, is not so much a wrestling fan who got to make it big, but a dude who sat in front of the television every Saturday and Sunday morning for Superstars and LiveWire and all those recap shows, and then live every Monday night for RAW. It's the upbringing that informs his nose-up-the-ass devotion to the front office at times, but it also shines through at moments like Monday night, when he was asked to do a version of his wrestler-run talk show when the originator had just passed. The video can be found after the jump:



In a way, Miz's tribute to Roddy Piper highlighted the difference between WWE now and the company even as early as the first part of last decade. Everything has to be drenched in uniformity. Miz TV has aesthetic differences from the other talk shows since Abraham Washington's show was taken from the top of the stage. The old Piper's Pit and other shows like the Heartbreak Hotel and the Barber Shop had set pieces away from the ring that felt different from each other in layout. Giving Miz TV his own set and perhaps making a new, innovative layout isn't exactly the kind of thing that would save WWE, but rather is symptomatic of one of its major problems.

Honoring the most prominent mold-breaker of a superstar while stripping away any kind of unpredictability and edge from the show is an interesting juxtaposition. It'd be hard to say if Piper had more of a role in the company that things might have been different, but he came back whenever WWE needed him, and the company pushed him away any time he had an idea that rocked the boat. Corporatism and wrestling don't necessarily mix together, but that's what made Piper so great. He raised hell all while figuring out how to get Vince McMahon to pay him good money to do so.
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