I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 287

January 6, 2016, 7:00 am

≫ Next: The Rumble Reign of Reigns Is Impending

≪ Previous: 2015 Year in Review/2016 Year in Preview: NXT

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Austin recaps a classic match with Kurt Angle this episode Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 287 (Jan. 5, 2015)
Run Time: 1:36:07
Guest: None

Summary: We’re going to just call Ted Fowler the co-host at this point. Austin’s wife drops in a few times too. The open basically sets up part one: After a quick chat about the Broken Skull Challenge season premiere, Austin and Fowler provide running commentary to Austin’s Unforgiven 2001 title match against Kurt Angle. Then they spend about 45 minutes on a few other topics: winding down their time at the ranch, New Year’s resolutions regarding fitness and work, movies and plans to energize the podcast upon Austin’s return to Marina del Rey.

Quote of the week: Austin: “This is just a good point of the elbow right to the throat. You can’t see through that. He’s not gonna be singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” after an elbow like that to the throat. And that was one of my favorite moves, and you’ve gotta hit that thing dead on or you will devastate a guy, or blow everything and make it look like crap. I laid that thing in; I had the ability to pull that thing at the last second to protect a guy’s throat, but it damn sure really looks good.”

Why you should listen: This is only the third time Austin has provided commentary for one of his matches, and it was a good choice to tackle something outside his most popular encounters. Fowler actually adds a lot to this experiment as his well-timed questions nudge Austin to explain things he wouldn’t otherwise consider simply because he lacks the average fan’s perspective. And while it initially seemed extraneous, the second half was a welcome way to wrap up the 2015 Broken Skull Ranch season.

Why you should skip it: One of the reasons the second half seemed extraneous is all the references to what we’ll also get on Thursday’s Unleashed show, letting those who faithfully listen to both episodes each week know there will be another, more final “end of the year” recap. There’s not much here markedly different from any of the recent Fowler shows, except perhaps the attitude of relieved finality instead of obligation, ad I wouldn’t argue with anyone who said they’re past ready for a change in focus.

Final thoughts: If nothing else, skip ahead to 21:20 and listen to the match commentary. I’m not sure if other wrestlers do this on their podcasts, but they certainly should consider following Austin’s blueprint. He’s got a lot of good information about the match itself and wrestling in general, yet he’s not so full of himself as to be anything but honest. Gems like this are what keep me hitting the download button every Tuesday and Thursday, and the information he drops herein adds a layer of appreciation to his podcast output as a whole.

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The Rumble Reign of Reigns Is Impending

January 6, 2016, 9:00 am

≫ Next: The 2015 Bloggie Awards

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 287

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Could Reigns fast-track his way to Rumble history this year? Photo Credit: WWE.com

When beginning any discussion about the Royal Rumble, it is important to establish the ground rules — and to be immediately aware they sometimes conflict.

My preference is to look at each match and career in story terms as much as possible — to give credit to Rey Mysterio for his incredible bell-to-bell run in 2006 on face value, and not in acknowledgement of the backstage influence — yet some statistical compiling must take into account real-life factors such as Mick Foley entering the 1998 Rumble as three distinct characters, or the fact 28 wrestlers have been in Rumbles as multiple personas (Charles Wright racked up five), and at least two characters (Diesel and Sin Cara) have been portrayed in Rumbles by multiple wrestlers.

Also, the only plausible way to tabulate eliminations is to give each wrestler who took part in an elimination full credit for that feat. So when Mil Mascaras and Pierroth dumped Cibernetico in 1997, each is attributed one elimination. And yet, there were only 27 total elimination credits in 1997, because three people eliminated themselves, and that shouldn’t count. Neither do no-shows, or failure to make it to the ring (see Axel, Curtis, 2015). Neither does an illegal elimination, such as Kane returning to toss CM Punk in 2014 or Giant Gonzalez appearing from nowhere to oust Undertaker in 1993.

(The oddest oddity remains Bret Hart and Lex Luger eliminating each other in 1994, but being named co-winners. This is the kind of thing that drives Rumblemetricians mad.)

Other ground rules, your time in the match begins when the buzzer hits zero, not when you hit the ring. Your time in the match ends when your body hits the floor. Wikipedia doesn’t count things this way, but I found I had to in order to preserve sanity. And if you no show (like Randy Savage in 1991 or Bastion Booger in 1994), you just get zeroes. No one is credited with eliminating you, you are not counted in the order of elimination, although clearly it does change the number of remaining opponents.

With that out of the way, we come to the issue of Roman Reigns. At the end of the January 4 RAW, Vince McMahon announced the 2016 Rumble would be unique — like the 1992 Rumble, the winner would be crowned WWE World Heavyweight Champion. But this time the title isn’t vacant; the defending Champ has to enter and win the Rumble to keep his belt.

In 1989 Randy Savage became the first reigning WWF Champion to enter the Rumble. Hulk Hogan did the same in 1990, he won that match and lost the title at WrestleMania VI. Since then, excepting 1992, the Championship has been defended on the show but not in the Rumble itself. (The “winner gets a title shot at WrestleMania” rule began in 1993, although that was the de facto policy in place in 1991.)

While McMahon’s edict came off as unprecedented and a vile means by which to punish a heroic Champion, it also — like so many odds-stacking gambits aimed at humbling Reigns or especially John Cena — is akin to forcing Brock Lesnar into a match that can only be won following 16 suplexes and three F5s. Roman Reigns is already on the Mount Rushmore of Royal Rumble competitors.

In his first Rumble appearance in 2014, the then-Shield member entered 15th and was the runner-up. He logged nearly 34 minutes and made a record 12 eliminations. How good was that? At the time, only 15 wrestlers had more career eliminations than Reigns produced in a single night — and that list of 15 includes Cody Rhodes, who was credited that night with his 13th elimination for helping to oust Rusev.

In 2015, Reigns became the first person to be last eliminated in one year’s Rumble and win the succeeding year’s match. (And yes, Shawn Michaels was arguably the runner-up in 1994 before winning in 1995 and 1996, but 1994 deserves an asterisk for the aforementioned double-winner situation.)

Reigns became only the second man to win from No. 19 (Cena, 2013) and logged the eighth-longest appearance by a winner (28:00). If you followed my series leading into the 2014 Rumble looking at performances based on each entry spot (to see how No. 4 in 1996 compared with No. 4 in 2006, for example), you know Reigns now is the best No. 19 in Rumble history, topping Cena, who lasted 26:39 and made just four eliminations en route to his win.

Reigns last year joined four other winners who eliminated six men. That gives Reigns 18 career eliminations, good for tenth on the all-time list (tied with Punk, they trail No. 9 Randy Orton by just one).

Yet remember, Reigns has only been in two Rumbles, and at this pace he’ll match Hogan, who logged 24 legal eliminations in his four Rumbles — though to be fair, Hogan did so in a cumulative 55:44, and Reigns is already a second shy of 62 minutes.

That 30:35 split moves Reigns to fourth all time in average minutes per Rumble for anyone with two or more Rumbles. But now checking in at second there is Bray Wyatt (if you factor in the minutes from his Husky Harris appearance in 2011, which I do) with an average of a bit more than 31 minutes. They join Fit Finlay (roughly 31:15 per in two matches) as the only men in the top 10 AMPR with only two Rumbles.

From a story standpoint, forcing Reigns to try to win the Rumble isn’t stacking the odds against him, it’s asking him to do what he does best. Steve Austin clearly has a better overall track record. Michaels is a legendary Rumbler, but he’s thrown up some serious duds (18 seconds in 1990). Hogan also has a magnificent résumé, and while for the moment he remains ahead of Reigns, it’s safe to assume when the dust settles on Jan. 24, Reigns will have either passed the trendsetter or pulled nearly equal.

With so many weeks of story to tell between now and the Rumble, it’s almost Certain Reigns’ entry spot will be determined before the match begins — which by convention would mean he’ll end up entering first or last. The former would almost guarantee he establishes new records for Rumble dominance.

For Rumble nerds like myself, 2016 is already fascinating — much more so then we’d expected not 24 hours ago. Just how much history changes remains to be seen, but that’s the fun in watching a Royal Rumble.

The 2015 Bloggie Awards

January 6, 2016, 11:40 am

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: MLW Radio, Episode 208

≪ Previous: The Rumble Reign of Reigns Is Impending

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Will Sasha Banks put her stamp on any Bloggies this year? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to the 2014 Bloggie Awards, presented to the best in the wrestling industry for the last calendar year. Announced within are the winners of these awards, but before we begin, here's what the Bloggies are and aren't:

• The Bloggies are NOT a measure of who drew money or drove business. Look to the Observer for that scope.
• The Bloggies are NOT a measure of kayfabe accomplishment. Pro Wrestling Illustrated has that covered like a boss.
• The Bloggies are NOT crowd-sourced or openly voted upon. They're chosen by me and me alone, so if anyone has a problem, take it up with me.
• The Bloggies ARE a measure of who did the most to advance the ART of wrestling. Who told the best stories? Who talked with the silverest of tongues? Who wrestled the best matches? Who had the biggest emotional impact? These are the questions that these awards have set out to answer.

Now, without further ado, the following will list both the nominees and the winners in a combined post for the first time in the awards' history. Why? Various reasons. Anyway...

Wrestler of the Year - This is the award for the wrestler who excelled highest critically inside and out of the ring.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Chris Jericho
2010 – The Miz
2011 – CM Punk
2012 – Daniel Bryan
2013 – The Shield
2014 – Sami Zayn

The nominees this year are:

• Bayley  - She was shunted into the Sami Zayn role from last year except if Zayn was allowed to win his first title defense. She showed great pluck as the lead character in NXT as well as WWE's only true babyface.
• Dalton Castle - What started out as a low-card intro gimmick lit Ring of Honor on fire and arguably sparked its hottest feud. Castle arguably was as good in the ring as he was during promos and his intros as well.
• Fenix - Even though Fenix wasn't anywhere near gold until Ultima Lucha, he was probably Lucha Underground's most important tecnico all first season. His feud with Mil Muertes was a high point of wrestling all year.
• Kevin Owens - He was an incredible top Champ for NXT even though his run was short, and he made the RAW roster's midcard palatable, even if slightly. He's a goddamn miracle worker.
• The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods) - Nominated under The Shield corollary, New Day evolved from a Vince McMahon-doesn't-understand-Black-people gimmick to the only reason to tune into RAW some weeks.
• Pentagón, Jr. - Few wrestlers projected as much fear and awe as Señor Cero Miedo did. He was as dynamic a character in Lucha Underground as anyone.
• Sasha Banks - She was arguably the most important wrestler in NXT from the moment Sami Zayn lost the NXT Championship until she put Bayley over at Takeover: Unstoppable.

And the winner is...Sasha Banks! - This decision was harder than it would have been in, say, August, but Banks made the most of her year before being "promoted" to RAW. Even when she was tasked with being part of a poorly-assembled, corporately-mandated "revolution," she worked her ass off and made people want to see her.

Ricky Steamboat Award - Named for one of the most universally respected and beloved professional wrestlers of all-time, this award is for the wrestler who excelled the most between the ropes during matches to tell stories and build characters through the physical art of professional wrestling.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Christian
2010 – Daniel Bryan/Bryan Danielson
2011 – Dolph Ziggler
2012 – ACH
2013 – Daniel Bryan
2014 – Sami Zayn

The nominees this year are:

• AJ Styles - Even without his New Japan work, Styles strapped the load to his back and turned in some of the best performances in the ring of the year, lucha ropes be damned.
• Cesaro - Even though he was pretty much injured the last third of the year, he turned in a resume in the first eight months that would make even '80s Ric Flair jealous. And he did so in two completely different ways.
• Fenix - Whether on Lucha Underground or in the indies, Fenix delivered the pyrotechnic satisfaction with emotional depth when he stepped between the ropes.
• John Cena - Cena's United States Championship Open Challenge was one of the best things on RAW all year. Strange how a guy already established as The Man in the 13th year of his career turned in his finest in-ring campaign to date.
• Sasha Banks - Banks participated in the best or second best match in every Takeover event this year except for the one she wasn't booked at. I don't give a shit if she had time to practice those matches or not, that's impressive.

And the winner is...Sasha Banks! - Few matches had the emotional depth or tautness as her matches with Bayley, and I would listen to arguments that the one she had with Becky Lynch at Takeover: Unstoppable was better than both of them. I may not agree with it, but I'd listen. She even kept her working boots on when she got to RAW, and it shone through the terrible, recursive booking. In a year with exceptionally good performances from several wrestlers, Banks' stood out.

Talker of the Year - For the wrestler who showed the most prowess at inciting a crowd, building a story, or entertaining the audience via the spoken word.
Previous winners:
2009 – CM Punk
2010 – The Miz
2011 – CM Punk
2012 – Damien Sandow
2013 – Zeb Colter
2014 – Stephanie McMahon

The nominees this year are:

• Dario Cueto - Even if the authority figure NPC is kinda played out, Cueto's gusto and devilish inflection always made him welcome on the screen.
• Enzo Amore - The Smack Talker Skywalker is as good at working the microphone as Sami Zayn is at working between the ropes. This past year may have been his best overall body of work.
• Kevin Owens - WWE got a taste of how unconventional yet effective Owens can be with a stick in his hand. Being able to make people interested in Randy Orton should be commended.
• Mark Briscoe - What he speaks may barely qualify as English, but it's so entertaining and animated that he has to be nominated.
• Truth Martini - Jay Lethal owes a lot of his aura to Martini and his gift of gab.

And the winner is...Enzo Amore! - Amore was a staple for NXT broadcasts all year, and he was asked to up the serious quotient in his material towards the end of the year, which he did with great results. He's become one of the most well-rounded mic-men in the game today.

Independent Wrestler of the Year - For the wrestler who excelled the most outside the confines of the corporate environment, thus promoting the critical and artistic growth of wrestling.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Austin Aries
2010 – Claudio Castagnoli
2011 – Sara del Rey
2012 – Rachel Summerlyn
2013 – Chuck Taylor
2014 – Candice LeRae

The nominees this year are:

• "Dirty" Andy Dalton - He's been an anchor for Inspire Pro as the top heel, and he's been doing fine work in his given role. Few understand how to draw heat on the indies like he does.
• Eddie Kingston - While his role in Chikara has been muted, he took on a bigger role across the Midwest to great acclaim.
• Jimmy Rave - He's been at the vanguard of the Georgia indie explosion. Arguably, he's the most valuable single worker to any region in the country.
• Kimber Lee - She started the year controversially, but her work in Beyond and Chikara has been nothing short of tremendous.
• Timothy Thatcher - Thatcher deserves credit for not only helping to cultivate the #grapplefuck in EVOLVE, but also taking and expanding it elsewhere.

And the winner is... Jimmy Rave! - Hey, I said Rave was the single most valuable wrestler to any region in the country for a reason. He's provided a spotlight for Georgia's emergence as an elite territory, and with that spotlight, he's put his working boots on to back it up.

Tag Team of the Year - For the tandem that in addition to displaying optimal entertainment value and wrestling prowess on their own, also displayed the best teamwork and cohesion as a unit both in and out of the ring.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Chris Jericho and the Big Show
2010 – The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin)
2011 – The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson)
2012 – The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied)
2013 – The Young Bucks
2014 – The World's Cutest Tag Team (Candice LeRae and Joey Ryan)

The nominees this year are:

• Chad Gable and Jason Jordan - Their body of work is short compared to the other teams, but they've put on some of the most exciting matches in NXT since getting together. Plus, they have weirdly charismatic chemistry with each other backstage.
• Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady - They may be the least-talented workers among the teams nominated, but they get what it is to be a team. Plus, the non-match stuff is top notch.
• The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) - They've found such a great niche and formula working tag matches, and it has resulted in some of the best stuff on WWE cards all year long.
• The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch) - They were able to slyly switch alignments without losing anything off their fastball. One of the most genuinely entertaining acts going in NXT right now.
• The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) - Stock Young Buck nomination. Seriously, unless you're Jim Cornette, you can't deny how important the Bucks are to wrestling everywhere.

And the winner is... The New Day! - Coming out on RAW and doing extended skits each week is one thing, but New Day, Big E and Kingston at least, have held up their ends in the ring as well, providing one of the finest overall acts in WWE all year long.

Manager of the Year - For the character who did the best to enhance another wrestler's status and artistic value without actually being a full-time wrestler.
Previous Winners
2012 – Veronica Ticklefeather
2013 – Chris Trew
2014 – Sidney Bakabella

The nominees this year are:

• The Boys - Their role was mainly to function as extensions of Castle, first as his "servants" and second as the manifestation of his angst while feuding with Silas Young. Bet you didn't think you were going to get deepness vis a vis THE BOYS today on TWB, did you.
• Catrina - She was such an important presence and spark for so much plot advancement in Lucha Underground that it's hard not to argue that she's as essential to the show as Fenix, Pentagón, or especially the wrestlers she manages.
• Chris Trew - He's not the Future Manager of the Decade for nothing, people. He's instant crowd noise for any character he manages.
• Sidney Bakabella - He may have been compromised to a permanent end by his former charge, Oleg the Usurper, but Bakabella continued his pay-window-reaching ways in 2015.
• Truth Martini - Again, Jay Lethal may not have been as important to the ROH narrative if not for Martini giving his character some well-needed heat.

And the winner is... Catrina! - I can't think of a non-wrestler attached to an actual worker who was more important to any narrative that Catrina was. She was as much a factor in the complex world of Lucha Underground as anyone.

Group of the Year - For the group, stable, or cadre of wrestlers who best exemplified teamwork, continuity, and entertainment value.

Previous Winners:
2009 – Team FIST (Chuck Taylor, Gran Akuma, Icarus)
2010 – Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Claudio Castagnoli, Ares, Tursas, Sara del Rey, Daizee Haze, Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, Lince Dorado, Pinkie Sanchez, Dieter von Stiegerwalt)
2011 – Not Given
2012 – The Submission Squad (Davey Vega, Evan Gelistico, Gary Jay, Pierre Abernathy)
2013 – The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins)
2014 – Sidney Bakabella's Wrecking Crew (Blaster McMassive, Flex Rumblecrunch, Jaka, Max Smashmaster, Oleg the Usurper, Sidney Bakabella)

The nominees this year are:

• Angelico, Ivelisse, Son of Havoc - They may have feuded amongst each other, but it did make for some of the most compelling, non-supernatural storytelling in Lucha Underground.
• Crown and Court (El Hijo del Ice Cream, Ice Cream, Jr., Jervis Cottonbelly, Princess Kimber Lee) - Their ebb and flow during the Challenge of the Immortals served as the perfect underdog story. It had a great mix of pathos, romance, action, and comedy.
• The Disciples of Death (Barrio Negro, Catrina, Mil Muertes, El Sinestro del Muerte, Trece) - They were maybe the most important stable in wrestling in terms of sheer relevance to the plot.
• The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods) - Honestly, turning Vince McMahon's vaguely racist idea of what African-Americans should be in wrestling into the most entertaining, amusing, and consistent part of the show each week deserves every medal.
• The Nightmare Warriors (Blind Rage, Frightmare, Hallowicked, Silver Ant) - Hallowicked and Frightmare sported a great new look and bloodthirsty fearsomeness to back it up. Silver Ant's addition to the group added a great element of tension.

And the winner is... The New Day! - Honestly, it'd be hard to top what New Day has done as a stable in WWE without being the actual original unbroken version of The Shield. Even then, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins weren't as proficient on a musical instrument or had the rhythm to gyrate sensually on the apron.

HOSS of the Year - For the wrestler who exemplified the essence of HOSS with nobility, pride, and massive feats of strength.
Previous Winner:
2014 – Rusev

The nominees this year are:

• Blaster McMassive - Muscles! Topes! BEARD!
• Braun Strowman  - How can someone be SO BIG.
• Cesaro - He picks big people up and puts them down.
• Keith Lee - Imagine the FEATS OF HOSS he could do on the goddamn Moon, where he lives?
• Rusev - Русев хитове. Русев повтаря?

And the winner is... Cesaro! - He could pick up the Empire State Building and I wouldn't think that much of it because I'd expect him to pick up the Burj Khalifa. He's the textbook definition of HOSS. I think he may get taken for granted because he makes it look so easy.

The New to Me Award - For the best rookie or heretofore new wrestler to major promotions known to me in the last year or so.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Sheamus
2010 – Wade Barrett
2011 – Mia Yim
2012 – Mark Angel/Angelosetti
2013 – The Estonian Thunder Frog
2014 – "Smooth Sailing" Ashley Remington

The nominees this year are:

• Alexa Bliss - She went from sell-only, glitter-soaked babyface to raging, manipulative heel mastermind so quickly that I'm surprised those observing her didn't break their necks. 
• Chad Gable - He burst on the scene quickly in the second half of the year and did so at the level of a 2001 Kurt Angle. How?
• Dana Brooke - As quickly as Bliss improved, Brooke did so in less time. She's become one of NXT's most fully-formed characters in such short time.
• Kevin Condron - In his first year as a real character with actual story weight and matches, Condron was probably the most important wrestler in Chikara.
• Moose - He went everywhere except NXT and wowed every crowd he performed in front of.

And the winner is... Kevin Condron! - He came into his first really big year as a "thing" pulling off a complex story and finding in short order an identity in the ring. It was a strong year for rookies/newish wrestlers, but Condron was surprisingly an easy choice.

Comedian of the Year - For the wrestler/act that has done their best to make people laugh and master the art of wrestling comedy.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Santino Marella
2010 – Santino Marella
2011 – Colt Cabana
2012 – 3.0
2013 – Los Ice Creams
2014 – Damien Sandow

The nominees this year are:

• Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream, Ice Cream, Jr.) - Chikara's comedic standbys got to be in real action this year, but they still were able to inject laughs into COTI action.
• Pimpanela Escarlata - Lucha Underground's only exotico added levity whenever he appeared on the show, and did so with great results.
• The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods) - It's amazing how much New Day broke down the paradigm that funny wrestlers couldn't be serious in-ring competitors or important parts of the narrative in WWE this past year.

And the winner is... The New Day! - Honestly, this award may be the biggest testament to New Day's 2015. It's one thing to be able to cut a promo or wrestle well, but to do wrestling comedy as well as these three guys have is incredible.

Feud of the Year - For the rivalry between two or more wrestlers or groups of wrestlers that best exemplified storytelling or match quality.
Previous Winners:
2009 – CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
2010 – Kevin Steen (and Steve Corino) vs. El Generico (and Colt Cabana)
2011 – CM Punk vs. John Cena
2012 – Daniel Bryan vs. Kane
2013 – Antonio Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn
2014 - Chikara vs. The Flood

The nominees this year are:

• Angelico vs. Ivelisse vs. Son of Havoc - In addition to being one hell of a team, their issues within the group made for some compelling storytelling.
• Bayley vs. Sasha Banks - The emotional rollercoaster this feud put fans on was just intense.
• Chikara vs. Kevin Condron - As one-sided as this feud was, Condron made it worth following and worth noting with his green-headed fly tenacity and showmanship.
• "Dirty" Andy Dalton vs. Matthew Palmer - Few feuds feature the babyface threatening to kill the heel and be justified in it.
• Fenix vs. Mil Muertes - Lucha Underground pitted life and death against each other with this feud, and the men themselves made it work.

And the winner is... Bayley vs. Sasha Banks! - This feud was only "hot" for about three months, but it produced two of the finest matches in NXT history, provided immense emotional catharsis, and built upon the groundwork the two had been laying since they both debuted in NXT.

Announcer of the Year - For the announcer who best was able to convey the action in the ring with clarity, charm, and bemusement.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Matt Striker
2010 – Bryce Remsburg
2011 – Excalibur
2012 – Bryce Remsburg
2013 – Excalibur
2014 – Eamon Paton

The nominees this year are:

• Al Getz - As a color man for the Scenic City Invitational, he was as informative and engaging as someone commenting on wrestlers people were probably seeing for the first time should be.
• Corey Graves - Graves became WWE's next great heel color commentator over the last year, realizing the potential that he showed as a wrestler in a different area.
• Dan Wilson - He did almost perfect play-by-play for the Scenic City, elevating the material and making the wrestlers feel familiar to the viewer, even if it was the first time they were exposed to them.
• Eamon Paton - He continued to provide a steady, informative, engaging voice for Inspire Pro Wrestling.
• Rich Brennan - It would be reductive to say Brennan's only here because he doesn't have Vince McMahon in his ear, but not anyone can be a good play-by-play commentator by himself. Brennan has "it," and he showed it in 2015.

And the winner is... Eamon Paton! - It's hard not to stick with Paton, who provides a great soundtrack for Inspire Pro's intrepid in-ring action for newcomers and veterans alike.

Moment of the Year - This award is for the point on a show that provided emotional impact, memorability, and contribution of overall quality to the show.
Previous Winners:
2009 – Jeff Hardy gives CM Punk a Swanton Bomb from the top of a ladder in the ring to the announce table
2010 – The Nexus debuts
2011 – CM Punk exits Chicago with the WWE Championship held hostage
2012 – Matthew Palmer leaps from the balcony at the Mohawk and takes Rachel Summerlyn with him
2013 – Mark Henry suckers John Cena into believing he'd retire and attacks him
2014 – Chikara is reborn at National Pro Wrestling Day as the promotion's faithful, led by the Submission Squad and Icarus, beat back The Flood

The nominees this year are:

• Angelico leaps from interminable distance onto a member of The Crew during the Trios Championship Tournament final - I still can't believe he didn't break every bone in his body jumping from that height over that distance in that match.
• The Four Horsewomen of NXT embrace after Bayley defeats Sasha Banks at Takeover: Brooklyn - Did it expose the business? I don't care. It was an emotionally fulfilling coda to the Horsewoman Era in NXT.
• Johnny Mundo unexpectedly throws Alberto el Patron through Dario Cueto's office window - The fact that it was Mundo, a man with a passive reputation, and that it was done so jarringly and suddenly combined to make it one of the signature moments in Lucha Underground's first season.
• Samoa Joe makes the save as Kevin Owens beats down Sami Zayn at the end of Takeover: Unstoppable - The follow-up may have been lacking, but seeing Joe step into the arena for the first time, after years of being a non-factor in TNA, and actually commanding respect was chilling.
• Sasha Banks steals Izzy's headband during the ironman match at Takeover: Respect - Gotta respect a heel who's so on her game that she resorted to stealing swag off a young child.

And the winner is... Sasha Banks steals Izzy's headband during the ironman match at Takeover Respect! - It was the perfect storm. Bayley's superfan in arguably the most important match of her favorite wrestler's life gets the one piece of swag that's most alike to her idol swiped by her hated rival. I don't know if it was improvised or whether they went over it beforehand, but it felt like such a spontaneous dick move that it needs to be honored.

Promotion of the Year - For the company who best furthered the creative, critical, and/or qualitative boundaries of professional wrestling in the calendar year.
Previous Winners:
2009 – ECW (WWE)
2010 – Chikara
2011 – Chikara
2012 – Anarchy Championship Wrestling
2013 – Beyond Wrestling
2014 – Chikara

The nominees this year are:

• Beyond Wrestling - Denver Colorado's crew kept building upon its momentum, continuing to stake its claim as the premiere indie on the East Coast.
• Chikara Pro Wrestling - While the COTI felt like a diversion, the end of the season made the entire venture make sense and cap off another fine year for the purveyors of fun-time, Americanized lucha libre.
• Inspire Pro Wrestling - Inspire has ostensibly won over Austin and continued to make waves nationally with its massive cards and massive personalities. 2015 picked up where 2014 left off.
• Lucha Underground - LU was, in a word, transformative. It brought wrestling into episodic, seasonal format, and played around with a lot of things other companies weren't bold enough to try.
• WWE NXT - It's so funny to think this show is owned by the same people who produce RAW, isn't it? The weekly television is pretty good, but the Takeover specials were all guaranteed masterworks. It was amazing to observe as a critic and especially as a fan.

And the winner is... Lucha Underground! - NXT did so much good with traditional formulas, but LU's boldness to try things that other companies won't, or maybe can't, and to succeed at it without losing what makes it a wrestling promotion, is what puts it over the top. 

I Listen So You Don't Have To: MLW Radio, Episode 208

January 7, 2016, 7:00 am

≫ Next: The Epidemic Machine

≪ Previous: The 2015 Bloggie Awards

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Chris Hero is MLW's guest this week Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: MLW Radio
Episode: 208
Run Time: 1:16:15
Guest: Chris Hero

Summary: Hosts Court Bauer and Konnan get on the ol' Skype machine for a conversation with potential candidate for "King of the Indies," Chris Hero. Given Bauer and Hero's mutual history with Ring of Honor, Bauer asks why Hero only had a recent brief run with ROH, with Hero saying he didn't want to sign any kind of a contract with anyone. The rest of the talk is a journey through the high points of Hero's career, from his debut as the character known as "Wifebeater," to his time in Florida Championship Wrestling and NXT, and his foray back into the independent world. Hero shares stories of working closely with Dusty Rhodes, confirming that Dusty was as great as everyone makes him out to be. His times with Teddy Hart have been less rosey, and as Bauer and Konnan can attest to, that's because Hart is a crazy person. Konnan commends Hero for his work at a recent Pro Wrestling Guerrilla show he attended, praising him for putting someone over and making them look good.

Quote of the Week: Hero, on promo class with Dusty Rhodes - "He told me there were a dozen ways to cut a promo, whether it's which words you emphasize. Mixing your levels up, from starting out slow, starting to physically get agitated, calming yourself down, taking it home, etc. Another time, I did a promo where I said, 'I've been wrestling for over a decade!' And he stopped me and said, 'Why the fuck are you gonna tell people you've been wrestling for over a decade? The people are gonna say, 'Wow, he's been wrestling for over a decade and he just got here? He must not be that good.'"

Why you should listen: Bauer and Konnan are pleased as punch to have Chris Hero on the show, and they keep the conversation running smoothly with few gaps or idle chitchat. The section where he talks about working with Dusty Rhodes is just golden, mostly because any stories about Dusty are bound to be entertaining, but it's fun to hear Hero still thrilled that he got the chance to work with such an icon. It also gets really interesting when Bauer talks about the wrestling league he tried to start with Teddy Hart, which ultimately crumbled due to Hart's erratic nature. It turns out that this league was supposed to feature Hero as a Scientology leader named "Heronetics," who would come to the ring with a group of followers. That would have been a true elbow to the face of those goofy Sci-ti's.

Why you should skip it: The audio quality gets shaky at times, but because so many podcasts these days seem determined to have guests via Skype or by phone, it might be time for me to stop complaining about that. As a co-host, Konnan is pretty good at taking a backseat, but he tries weird jokes a couple times and they fall flat. If you're looking for a creative interview style, that won't be found here as they basically just look at Hero's Wikipedia page and ask him about most of it.

Final Thoughts: It's easy to believe Chris Hero when he refers to himself as a wrestling nerd, because he backs it up at every moment of this podcast. He shows much reverence to the people who trained him and helped him on his way up, giving special love to Samu of the Headshrinkers for taking him in and giving him invaluable advice. The episode's most telling moment comes when Hero and Konnan realize that they both have kept extensive notebooks about wrestling moves, high spots and how to book matches. When you discover the meticulous attention to detail it takes to get successful in the wrestling business, it helps you appreciate it as a true form of art.

The Epidemic Machine

January 7, 2016, 11:15 am

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 6

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: MLW Radio, Episode 208

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Cena's injury was wholly predictable Photo Credit: WWE.com

Shinsuke Nakamura, AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, and Doc Gallows all gave their notices to New Japan Pro Wrestling before WrestleKingdom 10. They're all expected to sign with WWE before the calendar reaches Valentine's Day. If they do, they will represent the biggest outside talent infusion the company experienced since it purchased World Championship Wrestling and Extreme Championship Wrestling in 2001, and it will be the highest-profile jumping of ship of multiple wrestlers from one international wrestling company since [REDACTED], Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn in 2000. And if WWE's recent history is any indication, they will all get injured within a year.

Prognosticating injuries is admittedly a grotesque action, and injuries often are predicated on luck. Sometimes, a wrestler just falls awkwardly on a body part, or a miscommunication allows a punch to land with more force than expected. Still, nearly every high-profile wrestler in the company has missed time in the last few years. The list is extensive, almost exhaustive save a Dean Ambrose here or there: Randy Orton, Sami Zayn, Hideo Itami, Sheamus, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, Nikki Bella, Alberto del Rio, Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Rusev, and once again, John Cena. Cena revealed that he'll require surgery for his shoulder and will be out up to nine months.

Chalking this M*A*S*H unit up to pure luck, however, is fallacious. WWE may be somewhat unlucky, but it also has done scant little to minimize that bad luck. While chance can sometimes ignore even the hardest evidence, an entity can do its best to minimize or maximize its chances of a certain event happening. For example, a spaceship will always have the chance of colliding with an asteroid, but that chance significantly decreases if the crew charts a path around or over an asteroid belt rather than through it. Basically, WWE's current business model constantly sends its spaceships dead ahead through the bulkiest parts of the proverbial asteroid field of injury luck.

Wrestlers get hurt mostly not by happenstance, but in the action of working in the ring. Right now, WWE wrestlers can work in excess of 200 dates a year, including twice a week on television at least. The intensity of the average WWE cable/weekly television match has increased over the years too to the point where apron bumps, dives, and barricade spots are not just appearing once a month in big matches. Being a wrestler has never been as high risk as it is now. Additionally, while WWE covers medical expenses, it doesn't offer health insurance. To boot, wrestlers have made claims against WWE doctors of ignoring maladies they deem non-serious, and management expects wrestlers to battle through nagging injuries. The most heinous claim emanates from CM Punk, who alleged that WWE doctors told him to treat what he thought was a serious staph infection with a "Z-pak."

This caustic cocktail of working conditions has, in my opinion, coalesced into an epidemic of injuries for a company that should know better, that can afford to know better. Forget the implications on storytelling and narrative; a decent company should do more than what OSHA requires by law. WWE, however, skirts even those bare standards by terming the wrestling talent as "independent contractors." Even though their contracts state that they can't work for anyone but Vince McMahon's human flea circus, they still have the same title of a true independent contractor has with regards to choosing clientele, which to me is the smelliest bullshit imaginable.

So, until something changes within WWE, guys are still going to get injured at an alarming rate. Plans will have to change, and nothing can be prepared more than a month out, which is fitting for a company with the creative vision of WWE anyway. Injuries to the new prize employees Nakamura, Styles, and the Bullet Club will be inevitable, and WWE will only have itself to blame.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 6

January 8, 2016, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

≪ Previous: The Epidemic Machine

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Reigns is discussed on this show Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“Botch, Vince, Repeat” (Jan. 6, 2016)
Run Time: 58:42
Guest: None

Summary: Peter Rosenberg and David Shoemaker are back from a winter vacation, though Stat Guy Greg remains away. The guys catch up about their break before Shoemaker talks about his trip with Greg to the Brooklyn RAW on Dec. 28. Then they look at the Jan. 4 episode, focusing on Vince McMahon. They consider the shift in perception of Roman Reigns and look ahead to the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania. After mention of McMahon sitting in Jerry Jones’ luxury box derails things for a few minutes, they resume focus on the Social Outcasts before digesting the Bullet Club news. Rosenberg’s MVPs of the Week are Charlotte and Ric Flair. The show ends with a brief acknowledgment of Smackdown’s move to USA.

Quote of the week: Shoemaker: “We have seen this storyline before. We’ve seen it, you know, with Daniel Bryan, we’ve seen it with ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin, kinda seen it consistently since they sort of broke the third wall by making real-life owners a thing in wrestling. But every wrestling storyline goes back a million years. You know, like, we’ve been doing the same storylines over and over again. That’s — professional wrestling is, it’s a morality play, but also it’s a closed world in which gimmicks that worked get recycled.”

Why you should listen: Excepting the useless football diversion — as well as Rosenberg’s inexplicable inability to properly use the word versus — this is a pretty solid episode, largely because the number of developments since the previous episode dropped forced a focus on the biggest stories. Shoemaker’s insight about being in the RAW crowd was welcome, and Rosenberg is at his best when the discussion stays within the moments he can most clearly remember.

Why you should skip it: News of John Cena’s injury coming out a few hours after the podcast went live immediately dated the portion episode that looked ahead the next few months. The brief mention of the WWE/NJPW talent assimilation is of no use to anyone who has even rudimentary knowledge of guys like Shinsuke Nakamura. Bonus points to Shoemaker for instantly connecting Rosenberg’s non sequitur about his mother’s foot surgery to Kerry von Erich, but the last thing we need is further audio evidence that one of the co-hosts isn’t completely interested in recording his own show.

Final thoughts: Many of the worst Cheap Heat episodes are quite obviously the result of the guys feeling compelled to record without anything useful to add to the ongoing conversation. It wouldn’t be prudent to shift to recording every other week, because goodness knows wrestling news can come in spurts, but there’s plenty of proof Rosenberg needs a good mix of topics to make his contributions worthwhile. The hosts obviously have an “open mouth, say words” approach to this show (as opposed to actually planning a course), and absent enough material, Rosenberg’s attention wanes and the dialogue becomes inane to the point of insulting the audience. Maybe that’s all unfair to bring up in a week where the bad tendencies were mostly avoided, but as someone fruitlessly hoping the show will live up to its potential, it’s frustrating to see glimmers of success and potential solutions only to accept they’re simply outliers.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

January 8, 2016, 9:00 am

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 284

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 6

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Stop shitting up Smackdown, Cena! Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to the first Smackdown of the new year! It wasn't a completely awful way to start the new year, but neither did it indicate many sweeping, positive changes. And there were only four matches on the show, none of which accomplished anything much. Yeah. This is why we STILL can't have nice things, Smackdown. However, Mauro Ranallo is now the number one guy in the three-man booth, and I really liked him. His voice and attitude immediately leant legitimacy to the proceedings, and, get this, he actually called the matches, naming moves and everything! Forget what I said before; this is ONE nice thing we can have, Smackdown. I just hope that no one on high messes with Ranallo and tries to turn him into a Cole clone.

Should Not Be Friends – John Cena and Kalisto
Not that they will remain friends, of course, since Kalisto was just on hand as Cena's lil' buddy of the week to serve as fodder for the person currently not giving Cena whatever he wants, in this case Alberto del Rio. We'll probably never see them interact again. The unfortunate thing is that Kalisto absolutely does deserve a shot at the United States title, and I deserve a good, long Kalisto/del Rio match. The match we got was fine, though not for the title. It was also completely dominated by Cena, and this is the John Cena I hate the most - the entitled, bullying jerk who dresses up his demands as reasonable and “for the fans” and who draws focus from performers who could use it more.

Since del Rio wouldn't give Cena a title match “right here tonight,” Cena threw Kalisto at him and made it all about Nice Guy Cena giving his good pal Kalisto a match. Commentary kept talking about the stake Cena had in the match, too. And rather than just let things play out, Cena stayed at ringside, resorting to Aggressive Shirt Removal when del Rio got in his face (and may I just say, though, that cocky, belligerent Alberto del Rio is the best Alberto del Rio, and I'm glad to see this version of him again). Cena-centric chants erupted even though he wasn't even in the ring, and it was his distracting presence that helped Kalisto get the pin. The man couldn't even let Kalisto celebrate on his own, practically bowling the loveable Lucha Dragon over with his “support.” If this actually leads to Kalisto getting a title match, fine, but I'm betting it won't. Bottom line - please stay off my show, Cena. I know people think I'm weird because I only watch Smackdown and never RAW, but at least on Smackdown I don't usually have to deal with his dramatic, spotlight-hogging antics.

Worst Friend – Dolph Ziggler
New year, same old terrible person Dolph Ziggler. He teamed with Goldust, Neville, and R-Truth against the New Day and the Miz in a match that seemingly occurred for no reason (Lawler even admitted that he had no idea what was going on, but “somehow” a match had been made). Ostensibly it occurred following the usual Miz TV shenanigans, in which the supposed good guys first attacked Miz just for talking and then Xavier Woods when he was literally just sitting in a chair, eating popcorn, and enjoying the proceedings. Our heroes, everyone! Three of the four also ganged up on the Miz at at end, enabling Ziggler to get the pin. He followed it up by superkicking Truth and tossing Goldust over the top rope, stating that it's every man for himself in the Royal Rumble. Um, okay, dude, but it's not the Rumble right now. Also, do you really think R-Truth and Goldust are going to be main contenders in the Rumble whom you need to put in their place? Also, also, that match isn't for another three weeks. Calm the hell down.

Most Welcoming Friends – the New Day
Ziggler's actions stood in stark contrast to the New Day, who really had no reason to team up with the Miz. They were the first to interrupt his show, after all. However, they worked with him during the match, even rolling with his dorky dancing. Poor Miz deserves to have a good time once in a while.

Continuing Friendship Fallout – Charlotte and Becky Lynch
Speaking from a purely aesthetic point of view, Becky Lynch deserved to win the title here solely because her eye makeup was excellent.

I'm still mostly enjoying the story we're getting with Charlotte and Lynch going from best friends to bitter enemies. Admittedly, this is largely because I was suffering from Bellas and Paige fatigue in the worst way, but I do also like the arc of Charlotte embracing the inevitability of becoming a terrible person simply because she's a Flair, and I'm also still liking Lynch as our hero who is gradually realizing she's going to have to do some unprincipled things if she wants to win the title. Normally, I wouldn't be much of a fan of the match that we got. In set-up it was a pretty typical Smackdown affair, giving us a title match to make it seem like important things happen on Smackdown, only for it to end in shenanigans and nothing we haven't seen before. I actually did like it, though. For one thing, it was longer than any women's match I can remember having on Smackdown in a while. For another, it really hammered home just what Lynch is up against. The end of the match was kind of a perfect storm of cheating, with Charlotte and her father doing whatever they could get away with.

Another thing that I like about Charlotte and this feud is that she doesn't always have to cheat. She's already a pretty formidable opponent. Her willingness to break the rules just gives her that extra edge. It's totally possible for Lynch to beat her one-on-one in a fair fight, but first she needs to get that fair fight, and even then a victory isn't a sure thing. Seeing that knowledge and desperation build up in Lynch is necessary to her story, which is why I feel that instead of this match being just another retread of the same beat in the story, it did feel like another logical step on her journey.

Continuing Lack of Friendship – Kevin Owens and Dean Ambrose
Kevin Owens' and Dean Ambrose's match for the Intercontinental title, however, did feel like typical Smackdown fare: a match-up we've seen plenty times already in a title match that ended in a double count-out, resolving nothing. Mind you, I might not be being quite fair to it, since there was a massive gap between the women's match and the main event, mostly filled with movie shilling. Was it because of the move to USA Network? Are we going to have to put up with this every week? Add the usual Raw recap fest on top of that and by the time we got to Owens versus Ambrose I was pretty much out of my wrestling mind-set. It was disappointing because I really enjoy both wrestlers, particularly Owens, and, like I said, there is every possibility that this was a good match and I just wasn't in the mood for it.

However, I did love the post-match stuff, which involved Owens and Ambrose battling outside the ring and up the ramp, hitting each other with whatever was handy, and culminating with both of them lying amongst debris. Owens even smacked his head against the giant WWE logo, and I got to see one of my favorite wrestling tropes: feebly protesting refs. They have to show their disapproval of what's going on but they can't actually do anything, so mostly they just wave their arms and go, “No! Hey! No! Listen!” like so many striped Navis.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 284

January 11, 2016, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Year-End Sorting Bins: If You Twist My Arm Hard Enough...

≪ Previous: Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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The Squire sits down with Cabana Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 284 (Jan. 7, 2016)
Run Time: 1:04:45
Guest: Dave Taylor (8:38)

Summary: British legend Dave Taylor sits down this week with Colt Cabana, talking first about his farming childhood and the nature of wrestling injuries before describing his father and grandfather who preceded him in wrestling, including why he initially resisted turning professional. After a discussion about United Kingdom wrestler pay in the 1980s, Taylor opens up about the difficulty of working with iconic comic wrestler Les Kellett. Taylor then discusses a career-making tour of Sweden with his father and how he learned on the fly, as well as how he handled the in-ring death of Malcolm “King Kong” Kirk. After revisiting his time in Germany, Taylor talks about working World War III in 1995, bounces back to his time as “Dancing Dave” and then gets into his extended WCW run and the peculiarities of starting to work with American-trained stars. There’s a bit of talk about “Gentleman” Chris Adams before Cabana asks Taylor about his backstage reputation for being slightly silly.

Quote of the week:“If I worked in a factory all my life and everything, now I’d be a decrepit old fart … I’d be standing in a pub drinking five pints a night, big beer belly stuck out, you know what I mean? This, wrestling makes you too wise for the world because everything’s a work. And when you get in wrestling, you know it is. You just know it is! And you see things you shouldn’t see, you don’t trust anybody because you’ve seen husbands who would trust wives and stuff like this — it don’t work. I once told Regal that years ago, I said, ‘The only trouble with this business — it makes you too wise for the world.’ … You see too many things.”

Why you should listen: After a low-key two weeks during holiday season, we’re back with vintage Cabana getting great material from a guest with enough name recognition to have broad appeal and sufficient mystery to make the episode an essential part of the man’s biography. Taylor is a great storyteller (at least of his own life) and especially enjoyable were the tales of backstage reaction to his routine wrestling in WCW, along with the hurdles of in-ring communication with established stars like Sting ad Lex Luger. Taylor is delightfully frank and candid on a wide range of subjects, and Cabana is really on point as host.

Why you should skip it: It’s tough to come up with a compelling reason for this subhead, unless you’re simply entirely uninterested in Taylor’s life and career, or if you’re looking for anything more than five minutes of WCW or present-day conversation. The chat is understandably heavy on the starts of British wrestling of the 1970s through 1990s, and if you’re not the type who considers a podcast an invitation to fire up the Google machine you might be put off by how quickly the names and locations get bandied about.

Final thoughts: This is Art Of Wrestling at its finest. If you’ve sworn off the show for one reason or another, give this episode a shot and see if it evokes the appreciation you once had for Cabana’s podcast. Here’s hoping for a lot more like this in 2016.

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Year-End Sorting Bins: If You Twist My Arm Hard Enough...

January 11, 2016, 12:10 pm

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 288

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 284

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She's taken a couple of steps back Photo Credit: WWE.com

No, I haven't forgotten about the BLOWOUT or the Sorting Bins. I shall restart the whole thing right now with bin number two. I'll only blurb a handful of these personalities and just list the rest, because, what, do you think I have all day? The "Begrudging Toleration" bin contains all the wrestlers I don't really actively root for, but that I don't necessarily have a problem with. Or they're people who inspire strong reactions in both directions. Or they're just there with flashes of good performance. Either way, I'm not too crazy about them, even if they can be really good at times.

Charlotte - I'm not on the "Charlotte's always sucked" bandwagon that seems to have popped up, but she has regressed. Her decrease in likability isn't necessarily her fault, but Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch retained quite a bit of their charm even with the main roster transition. Charlotte, well, Charlotte just kinda burst through and became the same awkward wrestler she was before the Nattie Neidhart match at the first Takeover.

Matt Striker -  He clowned Jim Ross in terms of quality at WrestleKingdom 9, but honestly, that is such a low, low bar to clear anymore.

Cheeseburger - I get why people root for him and such; he's an endearing underdog story. I get that he tries hard and seems like an absolute gem of a person to be around, but more often than not, he comes off to me as someone who looks like he's play wrestling rather than competing.

Stardust - He's trying to be like his big brother without any of the natural charm. He comes off entertaining at times, but maybe he should try acting? Also, the CM Punk-kind-of-a-dick-on-social-media corollary comes into play here.

Paige - She seems likable and everything, but I'm pretty sure the number of really good matches she's had since the NXT Women's Championship Match at ArRIVAL stands at one, and it was with Super Worker Nikki Bella™.

Wade Barrett - I feel bad for his injury luck; he seems to get bit more than usual, even with the general road hazards in WWE. But I'm just burnt out on him being WWE's version of trying to make fetch happen (Even if it's mostly WWE's fault). However, if WWE put him in the Smackdown color commentator's chair with Mauro Ranallo, where he'll never have to fear jobbing to R-Truth again, maybe he gets re-energized.

Eva Marie - She's got everything cosmetic that a great wrestler needs. She has a hell of a look, mannerisms for days, awesome entrance robe, boss theme music. The only problem is she can't work or talk. That's all. PS, I'm sick to death of her being a battleground. On one hand, yeah, a lot of the criticism of her is on the far side of the border of misogynistic hate-prattle. But sometimes, I feel like one cannot rightly discuss how bad she is without an interjection that maybe she's still in developmental or that she needs time or that misogynistic shitboys say she's bad because Total Divas or some shit. But then again, a lot of areas in wrestling discourse are fundamentally broken. Why should discussion of Eva Marie be any different?

Bad Luck Fale - Fale is another guy who's got the perfect look, but I'm still trying to grasp what made him get into pro wrestling instead of, perhaps, manning doors at nightclubs for a premium salary. That being said, the beginning of his G1 match with AJ Styles was probably the most amusing thing I've seen in wrestling in 2015.

Alberto del Rio - He's been phoning his WWE performances in so hard since his return that I'm shocked he's not carrying the burlap sack filled with cash that WWE pays him to the ring and pointing at it before and after matches. I'm still waiting for him to have a match that I can say "that's good" rather than one that I have to say "Well, I guess that's the best match he's had since coming back." The shame part is that he was pretty good in Lucha Underground during his time there.

Jay Lethal - Ring of Honor has so many interesting options on its roster, and in true post-Gabe style, it put the title on a relatively milquetoast option. Lethal is as inoffensive a wrestler as one can get, which when paired with someone like Styles can be a good thing. But his entire character is owed to Truth Martini at this point, and god forbid he's in there with someone who is less than elite.

Bray Wyatt - Just shut up, Bray. Please.

TJP - If only he'd keep his shitboy meninist mouth closed, I might be able to enjoy how awesome he is in the squared circle.

Sting - He's getting into the WWE Hall of Fame, which if you think about it as an induction for everything he's done in promotions for which the company has tape, makes sense. I'll never hate anyone for liking the guy, because he was a pretty big deal in the places where he has habitated over the years. But I was always into the other guys around him when I checked in on WCW more than him. He always felt like the townie who was there and always tried to prove himself against the more interesting visitors.

Super Dragon - Much like Gabe Sapolsky, Dragon is bailed out on his booking practices by his talent. Pro Wrestling Guerrilla can be the best promotion on the planet, but Dragon's booking holds it back.

Chris Jericho  - It's amazing how far he keeps falling. I mean, he can still put in a good match when he wants to like at Beast in the East. But seeing a guy who was once my favorite dude in the world for being hip, edgy, athletic, and later on, dead on in his craft become sloppy-ass Cool Dad is depressing.

Bob Holly - I'm not as critical of the nostalgia train as others, but once you start getting the idea to book a big bully like Holly, I'm not sure you're digging the right holes.

Dolph Ziggler - Ziggler's fall from grace has been nothing short of stunning. I used to get up every time he came out. Now, I consider turning the TV off. He's become a parody of himself and a wrestler. But at least he still bumps hard.

Baron Corbin - He's gotten a lot better over the course of a year, but man, he's got a long way to go.

Silas Young - Maybe I'm punishing unfairly for ROH's toxic storytelling, and who knows how much input he's got into his "last real man" character. He seems to be serviceable in the ring, but whenever he comes out, unless it's against Dalton Castle, I'm checked out.

Johnny Gargano - He might be in the next category up had he not blocked me on Twitter for reasons that are currently unknown to me. Seriously, I don't think I've ever been a dick to him online.

Tomoaki Honma - Honma was one of my favorite things about my nascent New Japan fandom, and then the allegations came out about his domestic violence issues. Sure, the charges may be true, but the fact that Honma, New Japan, and the wrestling media are basically acting as if this accuser is pulling allegations out of her ass is troubling, especially since domestic violence allegations against wrestlers are often true, since Honma has a history of violent behavior, and since society is supposedly moving past brushing these things under the rug. I'm not sure I can look at him as a "lovable underdog" anymore, even if he still is one of the better guys in the ring over there.

Roman Reigns - I want to like Reigns. I really do. The guy is becoming hot fire in the ring, a guy who can go out there in the main event of big shows and deliver in memorable ways. But I can't reconcile his promo-style, let alone the cringe-inducingly bad material the writers script for him, and his character arcs, and how he mostly comes off as way too cool for school with that ring oeuvre. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too harsh on the man they want to call the Big Dog. But he's just not there yet completely with me.

And the rest...

Adam Rose	Big Show	Erick Rowan	Brie Bella	Dudley Boyz
Byron Saxton	Los Matadores	Cameron	The Rock	Fandango
Heath Slater	Hornswoggle	Kane	Randy Orton	Rosa Mendes
Sin Cara	Tamina Snuka	"Creepy" Greg Hamilton	Marcus Louis	Mojo Rawley
Bobby Cruise	Jay Briscoe	All-Nite Express	Nigel McGuinness	Konnan
Vampiro	Colt Cabana	NRG	New Age Outlaws	Danny Burch
Tommy Dreamer	Cody Hall	Caristico	Shelton Benjamin	3.0
The Wolves	Carson	Paige Turner	Thomas Shire	Annie Social
Cliff Compton	Brian Myers	Darius Carter	TJ Marconi	David Starr

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 288

January 12, 2016, 7:05 am

≫ Next: 2015 In Memoriam

≪ Previous: Year-End Sorting Bins: If You Twist My Arm Hard Enough...

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Austin on another Ted Fowler-co-piloted episode of the podcast Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show — Unleashed!
Episode: 288
Run Time: 1:34:31
Guest: None

Summary: It’s the last show of the winter from the Broken Skull Ranch. Austin and Ted Fowler begin with a long, profanity-laced story about Austin dealing with a flat tire on his 1996 Suburban. After a break, they debate city life vs. country life, then revisit some of Ted’s online dating experiences. The guys share stories of getting sick, including a recent in-car bout for Austin’s wife. After Fowler asks Austin about how he deals with his fame, they check in again on Fowler’s New Year’s resolutions.

Quote of the week:“So I go into the Pilot truck stop, and I get me a hex wrench. You know it’s got the little multiple gimmick things, it’s a little thing about four inches long with different size gimmicks on it you fit in there, and you try to unscrew something. These little screws held on that center piece which I needed removed. Well, the motherfucker wasn’t long enough to remove the said little studs that held in the center piece. So since that center piece was plastic — you know, and me being close to a dollar — I just said ‘Fuck it, I’ll whack this motherfucker with this tire tool and knock it off, and then I’ll have access to those lug nuts which I so desperately need to get off this cocksucker so I can put the spare tire on and get on down to Three Rivers, get my tequila, get us a couple eggs, block of fuckin’ cheese for Teddy and come back home to mama!’ Nice chilling, relaxing day, right? Not so much.”

Why you should listen: Tip back a few stout margaritas and you’ll be in the perfect mindset for this rollicking conversation. It’s got a “last frat party of the spring semester” vibe with two well-lubricated pals who know they have to get back to the real world but won’t be cheated out of one more night of immature fun. The flat tire and carsickness stories are throwbacks to the early podcast days where Austin really lifted the curtain on his everyman personal life, and there’s do denying he’s got a very specific type of charisma required to make that type of tale telling broadly entertaining.

Why you should skip it: Sweet baby Jesus is this a blue podcast. I think I’d rather my kids accidentally hear some old wrestler drop a few f-bombs and fess up to painkiller abuse than run the risk they catch wind of Fowler’s predilection for the grooming habits of his lady friends. Beyond that, rural life, encounters with fans and Fowler’s 2016 goals are well-worn topics. We can probably chalk up the last one especially to how tipsy each guy was by that point of the show, likely forgetting — or simply not caring — they’d just covered the same ground a few days prior.

Final thoughts: When Austin’s podcast first burst on the scene, it was stuff like this — much more so than interviews with the likes of Kevin Nash and Jim Ross — that fueled the fan frenzy. It’s decidedly not for everyone, but a rich reminder of why so many people got so excited about the global icon and national treasure entering the podcast world. It’s also completely inessential in terms of learning things or considering wresting fandom in a new way, but for sheer entertainment, if you can get past the raunch, it’s a winner for sure.

2015 In Memoriam

January 12, 2016, 11:05 am

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 289

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 288

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Every year, the wrestling community at large loses several of its members, some of them far before their time, some of them after normally long and fruitful lives. The toll that the business takes on its performers tends to shove far more of them into that former category than what makes the average person comfortable. Even if those wrestlers were closer to the latter than the former, it's heartbreaking to lose one in any stage, because these are the people whom fans have grown to love over decades of performance. The list of those who have passed this year may feel shorter than in others, but the people who were lost were giants. Come, remember those who are no longer among the living and honor their memories.

Perro Aguayo, Jr.

Photo via unionguanajuato.mx

Perro Aguayo, Jr. died at the age of 35 in the ring in Tijuana, Mexico. Few wrestlers were as important to Asistencia Asesoría y Administración or lucha libre in general as Perrito, and his passing sent shockwaves around the world of wrestling, not just in his native Mexico, but all around the world. To read a better tribute than I could provide, please read Kris Zellner's obituary/tribute from Lucha World.

Hack Myers

Photo Credit: Pro Wrestling Illustrated (via WWE.com)

Hack Myers passed away at age 41 from complications of brain surgery in Baltimore, MD. He was one of the most colorful undercard wrestlers from Extreme Championship Wrestling's early days, nicknamed "The Shah of Extreme."

Buddy Landel

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Buddy Landel died at age 53 due to injuries sustained in a car accident the day before his passing. Landel was a rising star in the National Wrestling Alliance, but he had a falling out with Jim Crockett Promotions right before he was scheduled to win the NWA World Championship from Ric Flair. He was also a standout performer for Smoky Mountain Wrestling, and he had a cup of coffee with WWE.

Verne Gagne

Photo Credit: Pro Wrestling Illustrated (via WWE.com)

Verne Gagne passed away at the age of 89 in Bloomington, MN. Gagne began his long and storied career as a technical wizard in the NWA's Midwest territories before starting his own promotion, the American Wrestling Association. Gagne's AWA made Minnesota one of the epicenters of the wrestling world, and he was one of its anchors. Even as his territory faded in the late '80s, his influence and impact on the industry can never be discounted.

Nick Bockwinkel

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Nick Bockwinkel died in Las Vegas, NV at age 80. Bockwinkel was one of the AWA's signature talents and one hell of a technical wrestler. He was praised by fans and peers alike for his cutting wit, his professionalism, and his ability to be a ring general. He later served as an on-screen authority figure for World Championship Wrestling.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Roddy Piper passed away at age 61 in Hollywood, CA due to cardiac arrest in his sleep. Piper was one of the most iconic figures in pro wrestling history, first in Portland, then in the mid-Atlantic territory, and finally in WWE. He was in marquee matches at both the first Starrcade and first WrestleMania. He was an immortal foil for Hulk Hogan, and his acting roles, though few, were memorable. You can read far more about Piper and his legacy by clicking on the Piper Week tag.

Dusty Rhodes

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Dusty Rhodes died in Orlando, FL from stomach cancer at age 69. Rhodes was the quintessential babyface wrestler, a folk hero who stood up for the common man, because that's who he was. He made waves all across the country, mostly in his native Texas and later in Georgia and the mid-Atlantic. He was the finest orator in wrestling history, and in his later years, he helped mold and cast WWE's future as a mentor and director for NXT and at the WWE Performance Center. You can read more about Rhodes on the Dusty Week tag, and be sure to check out Ian Williams'tribute at VICE Sports.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 289

January 13, 2016, 7:30 am

≫ Next: TH's Mock Observer Awards Ballot

≪ Previous: 2015 In Memoriam

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The audio replay of the Flair podcast gets a review Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 289
Run Time: 1:16:41
Guest: Ric Flair (13:39)

Summary: It’s the audio version of Austin’s WWE Network interview with Flair at the Broken Skull Ranch. Flair opens with the story of his adoption and childhood, explains how he and Ken Patera came to train with Verne Gagne, how he made the jump North Carolina and the plane crash that changed his life. He also explains the evolution into “The Nature Boy” and the touring load of the NWA World Champion. After getting into his fashion choices and relationship with Dusty Rhodes, Flair talks about his 1991 jump to the WWF and being paired with Bobby Heenan. That leads to discussing his retirement at WrestleMania XXIV, which gives way to talk about his family, specifically children Reid and Ashley/Charlotte. Flair gives his thoughts on Triple H, NXT, Vince McMahon and the end of WCW. At the end, he plugs his own WWE Network projects and explains how he hopes his legacy is of being the hardest worker in pro wrestling.

Quote of the week:“I get the business. You know, I told people I didn’t like it when (Jerry) Lawler was wearing out Bret Hart’s parents, because it’s like personal, you know what I mean? And even though Bret’s family — I’ve asked Bret, his mom and dad loved it, you know? It’s emotional, but I don’t blame anybody for it. And the thing that I have since found out is Ashley said, ‘Yeah.’ ”

Why you should listen: Austin pledged to try to cover different topics from his earlier podcasts with Flair (either as host or guest) and had several successes — notably the stuff about Flair’s birth and adolescence. While observes have many fair question’s about Flair’s character and life choices, no one can say he isn’t at least cognizant of his responsibility for the way things have gone, for good and ill, and that candor is on display. Also, though it almost goes without saying, it’s nice to be able to bang this out at 2x without waiting for the Network feed to buffer.

Why you should skip it: This episode premiered on the Network about 12 hours before it showed up in podcast feeds, so chances are most folks took the chance to catch the souped-up video version. And while WWE probably leaned on Austin to talk about certain topics that could both be paired with video clips and tie in to Flair’s current on-screen role, those also represent the most-explored parts of Flair’s life and career, which makes them least interesting to most listeners.

Final thoughts: Austin likes to point out his podcast is different from the show he hosts on the Network, and this is a great example of why he feels that way. It’s not to say one is better or worse than the other, but there is (no surprise, being a WWE joint) a feeling of overproduction on these interviews that draws a sharp contrast to the raw nature of the regular podcast. No further WWEN podcasts have been announced, but it wouldn’t be surprising for another handful to pop up on the Road to WrestleMania.

TH's Mock Observer Awards Ballot

January 13, 2016, 12:45 pm

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast, Episode 63

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 289

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Banks and Bayley got some shine on my hypothetical WON Award ballot Photo Credit: WWE.com

In case you forgot, I let crack wrestling journalist and eternal pain in my rectal area Horb Flerbminber post his ballot for the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards. It got me to wondering what my hypothetical ballot would look like. Of course, I presented the Bloggie Awards earlier this month, so why should I care about Big Dave Meltzer's Mark Awards? Well, for one, I like to involve myself in things that all the kids, cool or uncool, are doing. Second, the WON Awards are focused a bit differently than the Bloggies are, and they're more in detail.

So, I decided that I was gonna give a mock ballot a spin, since I don't have one and doubt I ever will have one. So here is how I would vote if I had me a say. Note, I don't have any votes in mixed martial arts categories because I don't watch or follow MMA. Simple enough, right?

CATEGORY "A" AWARDS

LOU THESZ/RIC FLAIR AWARD FOR WRESTLER OF THE YEAR 

1. Sasha Banks

2. Bayley
3. Kevin Owens

MOST OUTSTANDING WRESTLER 

1. Sasha Banks
2. Cesaro
3. John Cena

BEST BOX OFFICE DRAW 

1. John Cena
2. Grado
3. Kevin Owens

FEUD OF THE YEAR 

1. Sasha Banks vs Bayley

2. Fenix vs. Mil Muertes
3. Kevin Condron vs. Chikara

TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR 

1. The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston)

2. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson)
3. Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady

MOST IMPROVED 

1. Nikki Bella

2. Enzo Amore
3. Roman Reigns

BEST ON INTERVIEWS 

1. Enzo Amore
2. Xavier Woods
3. Big E

MOST CHARISMATIC 

1. Dalton Castle
2. Enzo Amore
3. Big E

BEST TECHNICAL WRESTLER 

1. Drew Gulak
2. Silver Ant
3. Chad Gable

BRUISER BRODY MEMORIAL AWARD FOR BEST BRAWLER 

1. Kevin Owens
2. Dean Ambrose
3. Eddie Kingston

BEST FLYING WRESTLER 

1. Fenix
2. Aerostar
3. Neville

MOST OVERRATED 

1. Seth Rollins
2. Jay Lethal
3. Kane/Big Show

MOST UNDERRATED 

1. Cesaro
2. ACH
3. Jakob Hammermeier

PROMOTION OF THE YEAR 

1. Lucha Underground
2. WWE NXT
3. Chikara

BEST WEEKLY TV SHOW 

1. Lucha Underground
2. WWE NXT
3. Journey into Chikara

PRO WRESTLING MATCH OF THE YEAR 

1. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley - NXT Takeover: Brooklyn
2. Mil Muertes vs. Fenix - Lucha Underground S1E19
3. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley - NXT Takeover: Respect

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR 

1. Kevin Condron
2. Dana Brooke
3. Chad Gable

BEST NON-WRESTLER PERFORMER 

1. Dario Cueto
2. Catrina
3. Chris Trew

BEST TELEVISION ANNOUNCER 

1. Eamon Paton
2. Corey Graves
3. Al Getz

WORST TELEVISION ANNOUNCER 

1. JBL
2. Kevin Kelly
3. Alex Riley

BEST MAJOR SHOW OF THE YEAR 

1. NXT Takeover: Brooklyn
2. Chikara Top Banana
3. NJPW WrestleKingdom 9

"CATEGORY B" AWARDS (these are pick one rather than rank a top three)

WORST MAJOR SHOW OF THE YEAR 

WWE Money in the Bank

BEST WRESTLING MANEUVER 

Pentagón, Jr's Armbreaker

MOST DISGUSTING PROMOTIONAL TACTIC 

Using Reid Flair's death to further the Charlotte/Paige feud

WORST TELEVISION SHOW 

RAW

WORST MATCH OF THE YEAR 

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins - WrestleMania 31

WORST FEUD OF THE YEAR
John Cena vs. Rusev

WORST PROMOTION OF THE YEAR 

Global Force Wrestling

BEST BOOKER
Chris DeGeorge/Eric van Wagenen - Lucha Underground

PROMOTER OF THE YEAR 

Triple H

BEST GIMMICK

Kevin Condron/Snowflake

WORST GIMMICK 

Hatin'-ass Lana

BEST WRESTLING BOOK 

didn't read one

BEST WRESTLING DVD 

didn't watch one

I had some blurbs written up, but a lot of it felt either too close to what I wrote for the Bloggies or I couldn't really find the eloquence for the categories at hand. Anyway, if you really wanna fight over these, you know where to find me, on the Twitters @tholzerman.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast, Episode 63

January 14, 2016, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Twitter Request Line, Vol. 148

≪ Previous: TH's Mock Observer Awards Ballot

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Sam Roberts talks to ADAM COLE, BAYBAY Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast
Episode: 63
Run Time: 1:26:19
Guest: Adam Cole

Summary: Sam Roberts used to work on the Opie and Anthony Show, and now has a radio show on Sirius XM's OpieRadio Channel. He also finds time to host his own wrestling podcast. In this episode, Roberts interviews Adam Cole in Reseda, just hours before Pro Wrestling Guerrilla put on their most recent show. Cole says that all of the performers feel an intense pressure to make every PWG show better, so it's a nice collaborative effort. They discuss how Cole experienced a gigantic wave of success for someone so young in the business, specifically the time when Cole held both the Ring of Honor and PWG World Titles. Cole has aspirations to main event Wrestlemania, but for now he is happy that he will soon be going to Japan and working with NJPW. After the interview, Roberts goes solo and gives his thoughts on the PWG show he saw, the recent episode of RAW, and the exit of the four New Japan Pro Wrestling stars who are likely headed to WWE.

Quote of the Week: Cole, on questionable booking - "I've definitely been in a lot of scenarios where stuff gets planned, and then stuff gets changed, whether it's a week before, a day before, or an hour before. That's just part of wrestling. Their job is to create the outline of the painting, and we're going to paint it in with the best colors we can to make it work."

Why you should listen: For being just 26 years old, Adam Cole already sounds like a cagey veteran, though if he heard you say that he would downplay that and say he's still learning. He is completely unlike his dickish persona. He provided an "ah-ha" moment for me when he talked about wrestling Shinsuke Nakamura, and how because Nakamura is so beloved, if they had a disappointing match then all the blame would fall on Cole's shoulders. Roberts sounds like he's genuinely curious about the finer points of Cole's career and he asks excellent questions that lead the discussion down fruitful paths.

Why you should skip it: The interview with Cole is barely 30 minutes, and in an episode that's nearly 90 minutes, that means most of the episode is devoted Roberts by himself, talking about wrestling. Roberts is not an unlikeable personality in a vacuum, but wrestling talk and speculation are just much better when there is more than one voice in the room. Though Roberts does bring up some areas where WWE could be doing better, his Twitter bio says he is a "WWE Guy," so that obviously means he ends up being a bit too praiseful of a show that sometimes doesn't deserve it.

Final Thoughts: Even in a 30-minute interview, Roberts is able to get Adam Cole talking openly and honestly about the insecurities he went through when he was both ROH and PWG Champion. At a time when he should have been riding high, he felt as low as he possibly could because he worried that he had achieved all he ever could. For a pro wrestler, there always needs to be some final goal in sight. As Roberts says early in the episode, WWE will be absolute fools if they don't sign Cole soon and make him a star. I think we can all agree that if they do bring him in, his ascension to at least high-mid-card status is almost guaranteed. When that happens, this interview will be a neat little time capsule showing a moment in history when Adam Cole was the young up-and-comer with hopes and dreams.

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 148

January 14, 2016, 9:30 am

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 13

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast, Episode 63

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The above is in demand, which is why people flock to see it from all over Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

@tholzerman Why would I never consider seeing a main roster WWE live event but am driving to frigging Green Bay (166 mi) for NXT? #TweetBag

— Star of Savage (@StarOfSavage) January 13, 2016

For one, you are definitely driving to frigging Green Bay to see WWE's main roster. NXT is where the cache is at, brother. RAW is just there to pay the bills. But my guess is that you would rather trek three hours to see NXT because NXT does a great job of keeping your attention and making you interested in it. Triple H and his crew are all about creating demand with a hot roster of hungry workers in stories that make sense. RAW... not so much.

@tholzerman What's going to happen to the WWE HOF when they run out of living wrestlers to actually induct? #Tweetbag

— Joseph L. Fong (@Moose_Bigelow) January 13, 2016

I doubt the well of wrestlers will ever run dry for Vince McMahon to put in his Hall of Fame, but if it ever does, then be prepared for AKI Man, King Slender, and Captain Insano to get their own Hall of Fame rings! A winner is you!

@tholzerman Is the endgame for Daniel Bryan just him circling a ring in an empty gym with Punk like the end of Rocky 3?

— Brian Coulter (@PhilaBCoulter) January 13, 2016

Punk doesn't figure into Bryan's endgame whatsoever. If anyone is recreating the totally not sexual at all vibe between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed with Bryan, it's William Regal. But no, Bryan's endgame will see him putting some seed in Brie Bella's belly and some more seed of a different kind in his sustainable organic community garden, at least until Vince McMahon comes crawling back to him for just one more job. Bryan will refuse until McMahon opens a briefcase full of cash, flannel shirts, and granola.

@tholzerman At this point, shouldn't they just put the title on HHH if the show is going to revolve around him and Steph anyway?

— Lealand Hage (@LealandHage) January 13, 2016

...

...

'Scuse me, I had to go throw up at the thought of Triple H as the WWE Champion again in 2016. I thought I was okay with Ol' Helmsley, but I guess my vomit nerve is still sensitive. Anyway, Trips and Stephanie McMahon should not be the center of the show, no matter how much they script the show to be such. The best course of action would be to put the title on someone different at the Rumble, like Kevin Owens, Brock Lesnar, or even Darkest Timeline Bray Wyatt. Let the title be its own big story for Mania and then have the big issue between Roman Reigns and Trips be the center of gravity for the second big story.

If I were booking things, I would recycle nearly identically the finish to the 1992 Royal Rumble, which is the last time the prize for the match was the WWE Championship. Triple H plays Hulk Hogan, eliminating Reigns/Sid from outside (Trips can either be eliminated from the match or not even be an entrant), and then the Ric Flair role gets played by Owens or Wyatt or Lesnar. Although I probably wouldn't have the winner triumph directly from it. Let them throw out a few more guys and get a signature spotlight for their big title win.

But no, Triple H needs to be absolutely nowhere near the hardware, which is why he'll totally win the Rumble and head to Mania as Champion, allowing Reigns to win the belt back. The RAW narrative is made to be both predictable and unsatisfying. I hope I get proven wrong though.

@tholzerman who are the worst play by play/color commentators for each sport? #Tweetbag

— Andrew Smith (@OMGitsOFS) January 13, 2016

I honestly don't watch things other than football or wrestling on a regular basis to give a complete answer for them. In football, announce teams are mostly terrible for whatever reason. The worst is NBC's Sunday Night Football team though. Cris Collinsworth has his head lodged so far up his ass that he can eat what he has for dinner infinite amount of times, and Al Michaels has turned into an old curmudgeon. AS for wrestling, well, it's the team everyone watches Monday night for some reason and can't be compelled to turn off. I swear, all of RAW's viewing audience, myself included, are suckers.

@tholzerman IYHO, do The Ascension survive '16 in the E?

— Marty G (@ThisPhillyFan) January 14, 2016

I hate forecasting dudes' employment, but honestly, if Heath Slater and Zack Ryder have survived this long, then the Ascension have a great shot of sticking around through the year. They're bodies WWE can take on house shows, and who knows, maybe they can catch fire in the right circumstance, especially if this brand split happens again and they're put on the show that isn't as closely scrutinized by Vince McMahon (so, Smackdown/NXT).

---

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 13

January 15, 2016, 6:30 am

≫ Next: Best Coast Bias: Contentiousness

≪ Previous: Twitter Request Line, Vol. 148

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Cena's injury gets play this week Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“The Hurt Locker Room” (Jan. 13, 2016)
Run Time: 1:10:18
Guest: None

Summary: Stat Guy Greg is back in studio with David Shoemaker and Peter Rosenberg. After Greg discusses the Owen Hart DVD and Rosenberg explains his inability to remember trivia, they go full bore on the John Cena injury and WrestleMania card, including speculation about what role the NJPW signees and WWE Network’s Japan debut might play. Discussion about RAW bleeds into a State Of The Union spinoff, but they return to wrestling by talking about Kalisto and Daniel Bryan. Speculation about which stars WWE could bring back somehow becomes a sharing of recurring nightmares. Shoemaker runs down Reddit news of the week, primarily Sunny trying to sell her Hall Of Fame Ring. They end wondering if Vince McMahon might wrestle in Dallas, run down Chris Jericho’s tired act, look ahead to the Royal Rumble and inexplicably spend the last few minutes with Rosenberg trying to contextualize the degree to which the name of the Washington NFL team is offensive compared to racial slurs.

Quote of the week:

Shoemaker: “Think of all the times over the past few years that we’ve talked about, like, WWE trying to find that, like, Indian star because their show is really big over there. Only in the past, like, 18 months have they talked about signing Japanese stars, and it’s when the Network is going there.”

Rosenberg: “But I still think that even if WWE is the fourth-most popular product there, Japan is such a culturally evolved place, they are so aware of the product.”

Shoemaker: “Yeah, but that’s not the style! I mean, it’s like a different wrestling — it’s like a totally different kind of wrestling, it’s like people in, like, the ’70s in Mississippi being totally into New York style, it’s just a different thing.”

Why you should listen: This solid effort is perfect for the people who either need to catch up or dive a little deeper into the biggest WWE stories of the last week. The discussion about how WWE plays in foreign markets and practical thoughts about whether a Bullet Club invasion could boost WrestleMania was in good hands. Even the State Of The Union tangent was both topical and well tied to wrestling such that it felt like a fun riff on a potential Shoemaker Grantland column as opposed to Rosenberg seeing something shiny off in the distance. Also it’s nice to have Greg back — it would have been good to hear even more from him about the Hart DVD.

Why you should skip it: There’s a couple of Smackdown spoilers (all with fair warning) and the Redskins bit at the end is both completely detached from the rest of the show and the type of hot take blather that reminds me why I tend to avoid national sports talk. It was a little off-putting to hear so much insistence that Cena’s injury is the biggest story of the week, give how news of that broke before many listened to last week’s episode. But Rosenberg clearly views WWE in the context of his own recording schedule, so there we are.

Final thoughts: The moment I realized this was such a strong episode was during the NJPW/WrestleMania discussion and I felt the urge to call in to make my counterpoint — that it would be significantly easier for WWE to mega-push incoming stars largely unknown to its broad audience than to try to reignite the flames under the Main Event roster they’ve already repeatedly told us is unimportant — at which point I had to remind myself this isn’t three guys on my local sports yakker breaking down Cubs’ roster moves. The urge didn’t come from the usual sense of disagreement, but simply from wanting to join in a thoughtful, multifaceted conversation. Most of us have plenty of thoughts about what we see on TV, and the Internet is ripe with people analyzing the on-screen canon. When Cheap Heat gets a few steps past the “watch and react” model, the hosts chemistry and background can get put on display, and listeners might start to forget the weeks where the entire episode is an exercise in obligation. More like this please.

Best Coast Bias: Contentiousness

January 15, 2016, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

≪ Previous: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat Jan. 13

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Asuka vs. the field (including the laid-out Eva Marie barely in the shot): WHO YA GOT!?! Photo Credit: WWE.com

It was only a couple of weeks but to the diehards it might've felt like a couple of months.

NXT isn't some sort of placebo that acts as a cure-all for everything that's wrong with professional wrestling in general and at times WWE in specific but it is a readily accessible reminder of what joys can be wrought out of a simple thing done well. After their first proper episode of 2016, full of those simple things? A new top contendership holder was established in the women's division, with one for the gents coming down the pike in a fortnight, and even though nothing specific was announced, Dash and Dawson (perhaps to be renamed the New Throwbacks in this space) (Ed. Note: GREASE MULKEYS! Didn't you get the memo? We don't have memos? Well then. - TH) continued their dominance by nerfing the Ascension while the Bridge and Tunnel boys won the fan-based NXT Tag Team of 2015 award and promised that the next time they saw the Champions, by the end of it D and D would be title holders no more.

But the focus this show was where NXT rose to its greatest prominence in the past year - centered around and built on the Women's Division. Bayley still might be the plucky underdog and possibly the babyfaciest babyface to ever babyface up to and including the point where she says depending on the winner of the main event number one contendership battle royale she might dole out a hug and does so to Rich Brennan (Rich, if you had to do that awkward side hug, no jury would convict you), yet we also find out a few beats later on that her chokeout victory of Nia Jax back at Takeover: London means that the newcomer rookie with only that red mark on her otherwise impressive ledger hasn't been medically cleared yet, and as such couldn't go in the battle royale. There was no series of scrolling tweets about Bayley being so nice in alignment yet so vicious in the ring she could deliver lasting damage to someone seemingly twice her size, and Jax didn't Tout out her plans for her no doubt soon to be imminent revenge, and you got no hashtag BadassBayley or any of that other flimshaw; NXT is the gourmet four-star restaurant that's been around three decades, the luxury hotel with the fluffiest pillows the size of flatscreens and thousand count sheets.

It further showed as a la the Royal Rumble, in a trifecta of set pieces throughout the show, every competitor from cannon fodder like newcomer Aliyah and Deonna Purrazo (best known for being the victim of Asuka's rage when Dana Brooke and Emma attempted their main-roster tried-and-tested Distraction Finish on the Japanese Murder Doll a few weeks ago and her response was to roundhouse kick the woman closest to her so hard that if you slowed it down frame by frame you could see the soul leaving the body, and to Purrazo's credit she did lead with that by way of introduction before vowing to bury that memory by winning) to former top contenders like Alexa Bliss and Emma and up to and including lastly, Asuka, all vowed that the next time Bayley put up her millionaire's version of Izzy's title on the line, they would be the one standing across the ring from her ready to take it as their own.

The contretemps started before the royale was officially A Thing, and might've led to the best moments as Eva Marie preened too long during her entrance - since everybody didn't get full-on usual entrances for obvious reasons and in a fun note her appearance caused Corey Graves to change his pick from her to the previously entering Carmella - when she went to turn the arena All Red Everything, Asuka's entrance cut her off (as Graves changes his pick again you can almost hear Tom Phillips on commentary ((hi again, Tom!)) rolling his eyes) and after docilely following Eva down the ramp for a bit in a bit that should've had the Halloween theme playing as a backdrop, the joshiette threw the whole metaphorical can of Planters at the situation and bumped Eva at the ramp's crest before entering the ring. The Total Diva didn't take too kindly to that as you might expect, and out of everybody else in the ring she was the one to step up and get in Asuka's face even though every one else in the ring was facing the former Most Dangerous when the bell rang. As a result of getting in Asuka's face, Eva found her own nearly ROUNDHOUSED into the fifth row, thus sending the crowd into paroxysms of joy, Eva to the floor (but not over the top) holding her precious face, everyone else in the ring reacting like Gus Fring had just taken a box cutter to the throat of a loved one, and Asuka smiling and nodding at the lot of them as if to say "If anybody else wants to meet David Bowie, I'm giving away the tickets for the express." Emma went after Asuka, and thus it started in earnest.

The bout kept escalating, with the cannon fodder departing relatively quickly followed by Bliss getting in a couple of cheapshot eliminations. Carmella got beat on by Emma, and also ended up on the floor without going over, and then things really started getting interesting as Emma got pushed by yet still managed to eliminate Alexa (you know who probably would've won this thing is Mama Bliss where she AT tho) and then both Peyton Royce and Billie Kay, looking as close to a unit as they've ever been presented on NXTV went after the main roster alumnae with both Corey and Tom pointing out and filling in the uninitiated on the history that all three Aussies had together and against each other. This managed to do nothing but leave them as woodchips to get served up to Asuka's buzzsaw, even more so when Billie went after Royce in a moment after Asuka eliminated Emma but they'd managed to get the upper hand on the Artist Formerly Known As Kana.

Lest everyone get caught up too far in the moment and think Asuka punched her ticket, despite the crowd chanting moments earlier that they saw her, Eva slipped into the ring and bounced Asuka, this presumably being the opening link in the chain of the world's longest-to-complete suicide. The crowd foamed at the mouth and champed at the bit...

...but before anybody could punch through their laptops, Carmella goosed Eva Marie's gander (or is that the other way around?), tossed Concord's Finest, and took the contendership for herself. Bayley did end up showing up and hugging her friend before ceding the spotlight to the woman who'd just won the biggest match of her career.

Anyone who didn't love what this produced is fully dead inside and is probably shuttling back and forth between Iowa and New Hampshire. After all the rancorous feuds that put Bayley on a Championship-level, she gets to presumably have something closer to a friendly against a friend...but that belt is on the line, and silver will turn a good heart bad just as easily as gold has. Asuka's signature post-match Smilex ad was directed at Eva Marie, to be sure, but she also spared that look back in the ring when Bay was bigging up Carm and if anybody can pull off Brock's "my alignment is I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL, M[ATRIARCH FORNICATOR]" in the women's division we all know which roundhouse doling fear spawning machine can handle those duties. And whither Team Australia? Is this the thing that puts Peyton and Billie together as a unit and they face off against Emma and the DanaBot 5000? Could that happen only to see Emma sell out Brooke for ostensibly more competent backup and turn the latter into a babyface, something that seems perfectly viable for people who've seen her personality shine on season one of Breaking Ground? Eva Marie seems to be getting closer and closer to figure out a way to heist the title and take it to the Exclamation Point, but she also celebrated behind Jax's back when her muscle didn't get medically cleared--is that just Eva being Eva or the first breadcrumb in something else? Once Jax gets her official clearance and given the mere molecules she was away from crowning herself division queen out in London, you gotta figure she'll have something to say about the future of her surroundings and what (maybe even who) she wants to surround herself with.

And the suns that keep the rest of these planets orbiting, as they have since the summer, are the quietly toughened and ascendant Bayley and the Championship belt that's an eleven-year-old girl's promise to herself finally realized after years of mucking out the metaphorical stalls that provided the fuel to get to this point.

Again, thousand thread count on the sheets when it comes to Full Sail. You may know the Orlando building as something else, but what it served as at the beginning of the show before the ladies started tearing up shop was the place that warmly and loudly welcomed back William Regal, who after setting up the main brought forth the Sami Zayn, who got an even bigger and warmer reception in his own welcome backs. He reviewed his C.V. for everybody on a late pass, elicited awws from the crowd when he mentioned the warm and fuzzies he was feeling, and got down to the brass tacks at hand: as one of the people who helped make NXT the burgeoning juggernaut and hot brand it is, he wanted to proclaim his comeback served only one purpose, and that was to become the first man to hold the Big X twice.

Of course, such well-scrubbed and do-gooder earnestness abhors a black-hatted vacuum, so first Samoa Joe showed up to remind Sami that the last time that'd he'd gotten a title shot he'd gotten beaten within an inch of his life, an inch that only remained because Joe showed up. Secondarily to that point, given the within an inch that'd he'd beaten out of Finn Bálor at Takeover: London, maybe it was best for his shoulder and the rest of his person that he vacate the premises. That interruption was interrupted by Baron Corbin, out to remind Joe that London was a loss on his end while it wasn't on his, and that the Lone Wolf was the uncrowned NXT Champion. Joe shot back that certain chokeouts back in Brooklyn meant that B should C his way out of the conversation and leave it to the grown folks talking. As he left the ring, Sami encouraged Joe to try his wares, and since things follow a logical progression here the still-in-the-ring Corbin dropped Zayn from behind before realizing face-to-face warfare wasn't his spot and boot-to-face was Zayn's; when Joe tried one of his signature blindsides that'd worked so well for the course of weeks on Bálor, Zayn - call it the lack of the emotional component that was the Bálor blind spot or just the fact a good guy or gal can have a brain down on team Black and Yellow - wheeled around and caught Joe trying to enter the ring, hand wrist-deep in the metaphorical cookie jar.

Regal's response to this later in the show was to make a number one contendership triple threat in a fortnight, and as the Champion and every possible challenger stated themselves, they all raise a good case. Most importantly, whether it be a hard-hitting match, Corbin's full-fledged elevation to the grown-up table, or a Bálor/Zayn match that should have executives seeing dollar signs in their eyes and fans investing in ice packs to fend off priapism, whoever wins that wish-it-was-a-triangle match provides a compelling narrative even in the face of all the recent signings and the possibility that this could just be a placeholder until certain Phenomenonal backups and muscle show up, whether fer or agin the man picked out as 2015's overall competitor of the year by the fanbase.

One last point to make, in specific about this show and in general for NXT; damn right, presentation matters and better presentation matters more. Big brother puts on the Slammy Awards, draws them out over the course of an already overlong episode of RAW, and makes the people who should be wanting to see this sort of thing do things along the lines of trying to find a director's cut of Jupiter Ascending or Google "how to make a rum and bleach". Here? NXT only has a few awards, they all make sense, and it' s all handled in a short video package that shows the recipients receiving some swank looking bronzed ring bells (that'll probably be used by some nefarious heel in the future once one wins one of these), some posing with Proud Papa Triple H and General Manager His Lordship followed by a few words of gratitude to those in the audience who made it possible. For the record, Enzo and Cass got Tag Team, as aforementioned; Bayley won the Women's Competitor of the Year (even the phrasing, women's competitor by Gawd and you'd better not forget it); Takeover of the Year went to the Brooklyn effort, and even Sasha Banks managed to sound somewhat magnanimous accepting the kudos and other snack bars for the Match of the Year in Barclays separately from Bayley.

The difference is real, and even in the face of certain South of the Border flavored stiff competition coming their way in a fortnight – did you think that level of star power in a number one contendership match was some sort of a coincidence? – NXT is already setting themselves up to not just make Takeovers what they do every couple of months or so but what they'll do to an even bigger audience this year and their hearts as well.

Speaking as someone who got on early to this increasingly crowded bandwagon and is staying until the wheels fall off, it feels safe to say the only proper response to that turn of events is...well...didn't a little bearded guy do that once? It felt like that was a thing...

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

January 15, 2016, 10:30 am

≫ Next: Year End Sorting Bins: Gosh, You DO Like Me

≪ Previous: Best Coast Bias: Contentiousness

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Even if they're fun, maybe they're a two members too large Photo Credit: WWE.com

First, some more notes on Mauro Ranallo, who is still proving to be a massive asset, particularly in the face of Jerry Lawler randomly slipping into a heel persona that I find too grating for words. I appreciate when Ranallo throws some things over to Byron Saxton, like getting him to explain the rules of a tables match. It's a small thing, but I honestly think that Saxton has potential and that his biggest problem is lack of confidence and experience, and he isn't going to gain either of those things when every other announcer he's been paired with on Raw and Smackdown just constantly ran him down and disparaged him. I don't know who he pissed off or whether they think the unrelenting verbal smackdown counts as fun banter, but I appreciate him being treated like a colleague for once. Thanks for being nice to Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo!

Also, it's so, so apparent when someone is barking in his ear. The Golden Globes references fell like anvils. They were so out of place, and the lack of enthusiasm in Ranallo's voice when compared to how he talks about, you know, the actual wrestling on the wrestling show really made me feel for him. “This could break the internet!” Yikes. Hang in there, friend.

Friendship That Has Run Its Course – The Dudley Boyz
So, we're all done with this, right? The Dudley Boyz came back, we all went, “Hey, I remember those guys fondly! Oh, they said the thing! I will also say the thing!,” they went up against some tag teams that I really like, there were tables, it was a whole thing. Do we really need to go another round? Do we really need to see them against the Wyatt Family yet again? Look, I have missed the hell out of Luke Harper on Smackdown, and it was nice to see him. Him and Erick Rowan against the Dudleys even got pretty fun in the latter part of the match, when there was much enjoyable chaos. But I'm done. I'm done. And not “done” as in “let's break up the team for singles action,” which I know is the rumour concerning Bubba Ray. “Done” as in “enough with the old dudes.”

That being said, Braun Strowman is still kind of the worst. The tables match was no disqualification, but he waited forever to get involved, then made a big show out of reaching under the ring only to pull out a kendo stick. Now, kendo sticks can deal an impressive amount of damage, but when a dude that huge pulls out a skinny, little kendo stick while roaring like a rhinoceros, it just looks ridiculous. He then proceeded to deal precisely no damage, and during the post-match beat-down he let Rowan and Harper do all the heavy lifting. Meanwhile, Harper steadily looking the announce team straight in the eye while he dismantled their table was unsettling as hell. More Luke Harper, less everyone else.

Friendship That Should Be Cut In Half – The Social Outcasts
Don't get me wrong, and don't take this too seriously. The Social Outcasts are a lot of fun, as was their match against the mishmash team of Damien Sandow, Goldust, Jack Swagger, and Zack Ryder. However, to be honest, Adam Rose and Curtis Axel don't add a ton to the proceedings. They can't match the enthusiastic awkwardness of Heath Slater and Bo Dallas, and that's why I think Slater and Dallas should just go it alone. Dallas even got the pin for his team! Granted, it was against the worst member of the opposite team, Zack Ryder, but it was still nice to see him and Slater come out on top.

Weirdly, there was absolutely no mention of the fact that Axel and Sandow teamed together for quite a while, which brings me to my next point; Damien Sandow was finally back on Smackdown! Let me tell you a thing about Damien Sandow. At the last house show I went to, I don't know if it was an Edmonton thing or a house-shows-in-general thing, but the crowd was terrible. There seemed to be a high concentration of people who hadn't actually caught a WWE show in ages and weren't interested in learning about any of the current talent.

But when Sandow and Axel had a match against the Ascension, Sandow single-handedly got the crowd into it, rallying them against the Ascension and in support of Axel. He has such a gift for that, and it is astonishing to me that a company that relied too heavily on too few people and that is now terrified that without those few people the audience has no one to care about is not utilizing this man. Damien Sandow is a god damn treasure, and just like with the Outcasts, I think he and Goldust should put something together and lose the dead weight of Swagger and Ryder. They could go up against Stardust and the Ascension and eventually Stardust will see the error of his ways and then he and Sandow will be friends again. Yes, literally all of my fantasy booking ends with the Rhodes Scholars getting back together.

Deserves All of the Friends – Kalisto
Speaking of treasures that shouldn't be hidden but apparently are - Kalisto! On RAW, Kalisto won the United States Championship from Alberto del Rio (hey, look, Last Week Lacy, you got what you wanted!), and on Smackdown, del Rio won it right back. I do not understand this decision, frankly. Again, if WWE is worried about lesser-known performers not having a connection with the audience, Kalisto did a lovely pre-match promo about how he used to look up to Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. Bam, instant connection with WWE history and people who also fondly remember Guerrero and Mysterio. Add that to his infectious energy in the ring and you've got a wrestler that people will love. The audience wants SO BADLY to love Kalisto, and with this title loss WWE was just like, “NOPE. Let's get back to the guy who could not care less about being here.” Their match wasn't even as much fun as past interactions have been, with Kalisto mostly getting kicked around and taking damage like nobody's business. Granted, the offense that he was able to get in was innovative and made him look scrappy as hell, but, Jesus Christ, did it have to look like he was completely out of his element?

I'm sure what they think they're doing is making him an “underdog,” but the sooner WWE gets over this obsession with underdogs the better. Kalisto can be plucky and loveable and charming AND consistently successful at the same time. Kalisto winning the title was fresh and cool, and taking it off him so soon just shows how terrified WWE is of trying anything new. Instead, they fell back on the League of Nations cheating to win just so that Cena can dismantle them when he comes back. Like I said, people already love Kalisto, and he just needs the elevation and exposure of a title reign to cement himself. I guess I'll “wait and see where this goes,” as the refrain always goes when shit like this happens, but Kalisto deserves better.

Bizarrely, the WWE website also straight up spoiled the match result. Right on the main page. If this title change was so unimportant that you actively discouraged any suspense for it, then what is the point? What is the point of any of this?

They're Still Friends, I Guess – Brie Bella and Alicia Fox
I really hope that whatever Alicia Fox is getting out of still being on Team Bella is worth having to stand by and watch Brie Bella lose and then have to console her afterward. Bella lost against Becky Lynch in a quick match that I guess was made to show how confident Lynch is going into her upcoming title match against Charlotte, but if we're going to have throwaway matches then why not give them to people that we don't see wrestle all the time?

Weirdest Friends – Dean Ambrose and Neville
I don't really mind that Neville was involved in the main event. It's just that it kind of made no sense for him to be there. He's had run-ins with Sheamus and Kevin Owens in the past, but nothing really long-term, and neither have he and Dean Ambrose had much to do with each other. This whole main event situation was just weird anyway. Ambrose started the show with an announcement in the middle of the ring, and Ambrose's character is just not that guy. He's not a guy who makes speeches. He's a guy who'll go hunt down the person he's looking for – in this case, Owens – and tell him they're going to have a last-man-standing match. This grandstanding for such a minor announcement just came out of nowhere. Plus, Ambrose was already set to have a match against Owens at the end of the night. Why not just wait until then?

The ensuing brawl between Ambrose, Neville, Owens, and Sheamus would normally be used as reason to set up a main event tag match, but in this case, as I already stated, the tag match was already set. There was just no need for ANY of that opening segment. The main event itself once again ended inconclusively, this time due to disqualification, and once again the fight continued after the bell rung, with Ambrose and Neville coming out on top. Yay, I guess? I don't know what any of it accomplished, but at least the match was pretty fun.

Smackdown: Confusing but sometimes entertaining!

Year End Sorting Bins: Gosh, You DO Like Me

January 15, 2016, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 285

≪ Previous: Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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Ambrose is still good with me Photo Credit: WWE.com

This one's by far the biggest list of the five. I'm generally a positive person, and I not only want to like the people I'm watching, most of them do inspire some level of satisfaction. These are the folks that I enjoyed and continue to enjoy to the point where I like their presence on camera and want to see them generally do well. A handful of these guys and dolls will get explanations, the rest will be listed in tabular format.

Dean Ambrose - Yeah, Ambrose has gone a bit backwards, but unlike other guys who've been saddled with shit booking, he's always, always found a way to rise above it and make something interesting out of it. I don't enjoy him as much as I did even last year, but he's still a dude who can whip up something special when he's given time.

Sheamus - Sheamus got done real dirty by the booking, like even dirtier than all the fan favorites. But even through the bad stories, he was still enjoyable, especially in that one interview segment right after he won the title with New Day.

Hallowicked - I've never been too high on Hallowicked, but the last year, with a new, more evil focus, has boosted him up in my book.

Nikki Bella - She's not just a meme; she's one of the best female workers on the main roster. If she only learned how to consistently play a character...

Hiroshi Tanahashi - He's a huge dork, but maybe that's his charm.

Kongo Kong - If you judge the man on his heaving bosoms, then you're missing out on one of the craziest all-rounder wrestlers on the indies today.

Braun Strowman - Yeah, he's green, but he handles himself so well. I said that about Mason Ryan when he first debuted too, but Strowman has actually improved incrementally since his debut. I'm just drawn to him.

Josh Alexander - Early retirement is a shame for any performer, but Alexander had a higher ceiling ahead of him. Sad to see him go.

R-Truth - Truth's turn as wacky old man comic relief is the most surprisingly entertaining thing about WWE nowadays. I have to appreciate that.

Joey Ryan - Wrestling needs a little dong humor now and then.

Liv Morgan - She hasn't really done a whole lot of work outside of enhancement matches (as enhancement), but she seems to be in the Alexa Bliss, "ready to go" camp. I'm just sad that Triple H and the rest of the NXT brass didn't stick with her shoot name, Gionna Daddio. Seriously, how perfect a name would that be for a wrestler?

Nick Gage - The popular thing is to poop on the guy because he robbed a bank, but the thing about Gage getting out of prison is that he served hard time. When people continue to dump on a guy for time served in prison, it totally reinforces the idea that no one can truly be forgiven or rehabilitated. "But TH," you might say, "He violated parole," which yeah, it was for failing a piss test for marijuana. Not like he robbed another bank. Dude has my respect for serving his time, getting all swole, and coming out to not only be a buzzworthy wrestler on an indie scene where buzzworthy wrestlers are in short supply (Thanks, NXT!), but to have a hilarious, albeit unintentionally so, Twitter account.

Finn Bálor - He's in a trap where he's got a barely-defined character other than "cool, hot dude who wrestles," and I think his abilities are a bit overstated by those who think he's one of the best. But conversely, he's kinda like pre-2012 John Cena, where he doesn't have the best matches on the card by the grace of him being in the ring, but he works well with other guys who are also good workers. I think that means something.

Jack Evans - I used to be a Jack Evans hater, but he was really entertaining in his limited Lucha Underground run. Hope he shows up again in season two.

Barbi Hayden - She's probably Texas' best-kept secret, even if she'll probably break out huge in 2016. It's impossible how much better she's gotten since I first started following her in Anarchy Championship Wrestling way back when.

Roderick Strong - The "Roderick Strong in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla" has finally leaked out into other promotions. He's another guy who's come a long way since I first started watching him, although he was more or less in the most public of indie wrestling eyes.

Jimmy Jacobs - This guy gave so much to indie wrestling. IT sucks that he's gone, but at least he gets a cushy job yelling ideas at Vince McMahon until he gets defeated and goes back to catering.

AJ Lee - I miss Lee, who, even towards the end of her run in WWE, showed organic fire that is missing from many of the RAW roster "Divas." I kinda wish she had gotten a run in Horsewoman NXT, because she'd have done her best work there, probably.

Chris Dickinson - I have to respect a guy who knows how to get heat on the indies. His tactics can feel questionable at times (and honestly, both he and Kimber Lee probably should have gotten a stern talking to from SOMEONE after they creamed each other with chairs back in early '15), but it's always done from a place of fun.

Prakash Sabar - Seriously, he turned what was probably a one-note joke into a sustainable gimmick, at least within Chikara. Plus the tongue stitched to his lucha mask, choice.

Rhyno - He used to be visual death, but then he showed up to NXT and turned into a must-see attraction for reasons other than unintentional comedy. I don't care if it's the intoxicating allure of WWE's real main brand; I'm digging it.

Jessicka Havok - The whole thing with the racist Twitter messages (some of which were fabricated) was dumb judgment on her part, and it's far more forgivable than the shit Zahra Schreiber posted. She's still a heck of a performer.

Sammy Guevara - I'm glad he got whatever issues he had with Inspire Pro Wrestling out, because the dude can go.

Kyle O'Reilly - He still has those tendencies to get all Davey Richards-y, but he's definitely grown on me as a performer. I hope if he does leave ROH that he goes to NXT and reDRagon has a best of 50,001 series against Jason Jordan and Chad Gable.

KT Hamill - With the Southern scene breaking out, he's going to get more shine, and he should. He's a versatile dude who can fit into nearly any style and any scene.

Steve-O Reno - He represents the hungry, young great worker half that makes Inspire Pro must-watch. Dude goes out and puts on a spectacle every time he's in the ring, a great ambassador for the company.

Great Depression - And he represents the colorful characters and almost noir side of Inspire Pro. He was the first, and he continues to be a more nuanced than a dude in with a burlap mask would be anywhere else.

Saraya Knight - I'm putting her on this list lest she do Sindel's Mortal Kombat 3 fatality on me.

Nia Jax - Yeah, the whole "I'm not like these other girls" shtick is annoying. All NXT officials had to do was roll her out as the proto-Aja Kong for the division, and she would have hit the ground running, as she showed in that Takeover match with Bayley.

"Juke Joint" Lucas Calhoun - Maybe the gimmick and mask were holding Calhoun back. As Volgar, he seemed schlubby and slow. As Juke Joint, he's rockin' the ring with a whole new confidence.

Jimmy Rave - Rave has overcome a lot to get where he is at the vanguard of the new Southern indie explosion. He's both an ace for several promotions and an elder statesman, and I can't think of anyone better.

Bull Dempsey - I had Dempsey pegged all wrong. The guy has shown he can interact with crowds with the best of them, and that's something you can't really underrate.

Leva Bates/Blue Pants - I hate that she's become a talking point or a battleground thanks to some of the more vocal trolls on Twitter. Has she had a good match in NXT? Well, maybe, maybe not, I really don't know. She's been asked to work as enhancement talent. But people recognize her from her indie work, and I have yet to see her in a match outside of Full Sail that was anything less than average at least. She's got a great shtick with the cosplay, and she's expressive and interactive with crowds. I don't know how that can't be seen as a positive, but whatever.

Chyna - Vince McMahon's gladhanding Hall of Fame isn't some objective honor, but it's nice for the people who built his company to be honored. Whether he wants to acknowledge it or not, Chyna was a big part of that. It might be nice for them to reach out and help her mend bridges, but what do I know.

Triple H, NXT Proud Papa - AS much of an unwanted presence he is on the RAW roster, Triple H as the dude who is just happy as all get out for his pet project, the one who intros all the Takeovers and the one who poses for cheesy mark photos with the new signings, is great. I want this Triple H forever, not the one who shows up on RAW and makes the show about him.

And the rest...

2Cold Scorpio	Ace Rockwell	Adam Page	Alex Shelley	Alicia Fox
Amazing Red	Amber Gallows	Angelico	Angelo Dawkins	Anthony Henry
Anthony Nese	Anthony Stone	Apollo Crews	Arctic Rescue Ant	Argus
Arik Cannon	Barrett Brown	Beaver Boys	Becky Lynch	Bee Boy
Big Daddy Yum Yum	Big Ryck	Billie Kay	Blind Rage	Brian Kendrick
Brock Lesnar	Caleb Konley	Caprice Coleman	Chase Owens	Cheerleader Melissa
Cherry Bomb	Cherry Ramones	Chip Day	Chris Hero	Chris Sabin
Chrisjen Hayme	Christopher Daniels	Colin Delaney	Corey Hollis	Courtney Rush
Crazy Mary Dobson	Curtis Axel	Daizee Haze	Darin Corbin	David Otunga
Delirious	Diamond Dallas Page	Doc Gallows	Donovan Dijak	Drew Galloway
Dubstep Cowboys	Eddie Kingston	Elias Sampson	Eric Corvis	EVIL/Takaaki Watanabe
Fire Ant	Franco D'Angelo	Frankie Kazarian	Gedo	Genetic Grasshopper
Goldust	Goya Kong	Gregory Iron	Gregory James	Gunner
Gunner Miller	Hiroyo Matsumoto	Hollywood Strangler	Hot Sauce Tracy Williams	Icarus
Ivelisse	J and J Security	Jaka	James Storm	Jason Collins
Jay Freddie	Jessica James	Jiggle-O James Johnson	Joey Lynch	John Cena
Jojo	Jolly Roger	Jonathan Gresham	Juice Robinson	Katsuyori Shibata
Kazushi Sakuraba	Kikutaro	Killer Elite Squad	Kota Ibushi	KUSHIDA
Lana	Luke Harper	Maria Kanellis	Mark Angelosetti	Mark Briscoe
Mark Vandy	Marti Belle	Matt Cage	Matt Cross/Son of Havoc	Matt Sydal
Matt Taven	Matthew Palmer	Melanie Cruise	Mia Yim	Mike Bennett
Mike Dell	Mil Muertes	Missile Assault Man	Moonshine Mantell	Moose
Naomi	Nattie Neidhart	Nøkken	Orange Cassidy	Pepper Parks
Pete Dunne	Peyton Royce	Pimpanela Escarlata	PJ Black	Proletariat Boar of Moldova
Renee Young	Rey Mysterio	Rhia O'Reilly	Ric Flair	Ricky Starks
Ryback	Ryusuke Taguchi	Santana Garrett	Sawyer Fulton	Scot Summers
Shane Strickland	Shaun Tempers	Soldier Ant	Steve Corino	Sugar Dunkerton
Supercop Dick Justice	Sylvester Lefort	Taeler Hendrix	The Ascension	The Bravado Bros.
The Hardy Boyz	The Mighty Don't Kneel	The Orphans	The Red Scare	The Usos
Thunderkitty	Tim Storm	Tom Phillips	Tommaso Ciampa	Tomoka Nakagawa
Tracy Smothers	Trent?	Trevor Lee	Tyson Kidd	William Regal
Worker Ant	Zack Ryder	Zack Sabre, Jr.	Zeb Colter	AJ Styles

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 285

January 18, 2016, 7:00 am

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Maff is Cabana's latest guest Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 285
Run Time: 59:49
Guest: Dan Maff (9:25)

Summary: Colt Cabana’s guest this week is longtime East Coast independent star Dan Maff. After an opening riff about Maff’s reputation for smelling good, they talk about Maff’s training and his father, a longtime WWF referee in the pre-WrestleMania era. That leads to questions about Maff’s childhood, large family and encounters with friendly and scary old-time wrestlers. He discusses working in Puerto Rico and his time with Ring of Honor, as well as his day job. Maff reminisces about his first experience with Extreme Championship Wrestling and the independent show that hooked him on the idea of being a wrestler. Many names are dropped, Maff explains becoming one half of Da Hit Squad and ends discussing career regrets and how he responded to the pressure to succeed.

Quote of the week:“I think that your biggest — like what you’ll be remembered for is the legacy that you leave behind. Like, the more you try to help the younger guys and, you know, get them jumpstarted in the right direction, and help them out as much as you can, like that’s what I love doing most. I love helping younger guys and getting’ ‘em started and, you know, puttin’ ‘em over.”

Why you should listen: This is most certainly a friendly chat, and Maff probably deserves the kind exposure an Art Of Wrestling appearance can generate, despite being near the end of his prime in-ring days. The undisputed highlight is the end when Maff gets deeply introspective about being unready to grab various brass rings at certain points in his career. That honesty is a welcome contrast to the almost universal stereotype of a confident wrestler, regardless of justification, simply waiting for a breakout opportunity to prove he or she is ready to be the biggest star in the game.

Why you should skip it: After hearing Cabana say he he’d been waiting to have Maff as a guest, the actual interview was something of a letdown since so much of the conversation seems to skim the surface of what apparently is an interesting personality. There’s nothing even marginally bad, awkward or wrong feeling about Cabana’s tone or Maff’s responses, it’s just that there’s hardly any substance for about 45 minutes of chatter. Most noticeable by its absence is any real discussion of the conflict with Homicide that kept Maff from the ring for more than three years.

Final thoughts: If you listen to this interview and feel compelled to seek out examples of Maff’s career, it almost positively won’t be because of anything Cabana asked. This is an inessential listen and something of a wasted opportunity for both guys. Again, it’s a nice, fun time and them both men come off as genial and seem to care for one another, but at the end you’re left realizing it was a lot of words with very little to say.