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NXT, BAYBAY

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BAYBAY
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
In a move nearly four years in the making, independent/Ring of Honor standout Adam Cole has signed with WWE. Cole was originally to sign along with Sami Callihan back in 2013, but WWE passed on him because it already had a lot of guys "like him" in developmental. Cole went onto become a star in Ring of Honor and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, winning the top title in both companies and placed as a top heel across the indie scene.

Cole will join fellow former ROH wrestlers Kyle O'Reilly, Bobby Fish, Lio Rush, and Donovan Dijak in NXT/developmental. O'Reilly and Fish have already both debuted, losing their first matches against Aleister Black. Rush and Dijak are just finishing up their indie dates. The folks over at Pro Wrestling Spyware, which I don't link here because I don't hate your computers, are reporting that most if not all of those names will debut in a ROH-centric stable, which would be funny for several reasons, not the least of which being that ROH is the reason why most of them, or at least Cole and reDRagon, had to wait this long to sign. Sinclair Broadcast Group filed injunctions to keep them from signing back in January after their contracts expired. It seems those legal battles are over now.

Cole seems tailor made for WWE, especially now that the company has shifted focus from all-homegrown, all-the-time to giving indie guys not only spotlight, but seeming preference. He seemed to be a perfect WWE guy from when he debuted in EVOLVE/Dragon Gate USA, and he cultivated a following with high dramatics as well as a resumé of great matches. More than anyone else except for perhaps Dijak, he's going to be a star in the company, or at least should be. After seeing Finn Bálor lose clean to Bray Wyatt on RAW last night so WWE could limply set up the appearance of THE DEMON a week in advance of SummerSlam, I'm not so sure about anyone anymore. Still, Cole deserves to make that money. I expect he'll make some kind of appearance at Takeover: Brooklyn III, whether in the crowd as is the custom or in an active role.

The Carnies Are The First Announced Entrants into Scenic City Trios

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The Carnies and Cassidy are in the house
Graphics via @SCITournament
Kerry Awful and Nick Iggy comprise The Carnies, the hottest tag team in America today. They've blown up the South, WrestleCircus, and they battled Moustache Mountain at the Battle Club Pro show in New York City this past Friday to rave reviews. It should come as no surprise that they will anchor the first team for Scenic City Trios on November 18 in the Chattanooga, TN area. Joining them to fill the team out will be School of Roc graduate and IWA Mid-South mainstay Tripp Cassidy.

I would like to say that I can give you the 411 on The Carnies, but I sadly haven't seen them in action yet. I know, I've been slacking on indie wrestling ever since my kids were born, but what I can tell you is that nearly everyone who's ever seen them love them, and they are born and bred of the Southern indie scene. They are the perfect team to kick off the slate. Cassidy has worked a few dates for Chikara and Chikara-adjacent promotions. When he's on, he's really good. Either way, this is a great first team for the tournament. I can't wait to see the rest of the field.

Leftism and Wrestling: Make Nazis Afraid Again

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No Nazis at wrestling, no Nazis in real life
Art by Jack Kirby, image from Comics Alliance
Even though capitalists and conservatives run and populate the wrestling business, as an artform, it lends itself to leftist ideals. This series hopes to show wrestling fans why they should embrace the left, not just for the sport/art, but also for themselves.

Richard Spencer, the head of the Nazi organization National Policy Institute, attended Donald Trump's inauguration thinking it would be a joyous occasion for a politician he supported, campaigned for, and donated to. However, he didn't count on protesters showing up and making a ruckus for him and everyone there in support of Trump. While the state of American politics has been declining steadily for the last 15 or so years after a period of glasnost between the parties (thanks primarily to White Democrats giving into their conservative leanings under Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton loving incarcerating Black youth like he was a goddamn Republican), no election on record has been as divisive at the 2016 frame between Trump and Hillary Clinton. Until that day, Spencer had been allowed to appear in public without fear of reprisal because a, no one knew who he was, and b, he had to hide the fact that he and the organization he lead, kept their outright Nazi leanings maybe not hidden, but coded well enough that no one really could attack him without a legal weasel-worded reprisal that would put the attacker in the wrong rather than in the right for punching out a fucking Nazi. That all changed when Trump emboldened these Nazis, Ku Klux Klan members, and other racist White supremacists of various organizations to rise out of the sewers like sludge after a force main break. That all changed when the nameless folk hero who did the following to Spencer decided enough was e-fucking-nough.



That elbow to the jaw was Nikki Bella/Mitsuharu Misawa/Chris Hero levels of fantastic. That random person, whom I hope remains random forever except to trustworthy leftists who will both buy them their beverage of choice forever and will keep their name out of the hands of authorities and Nazi scum, ushered in a new era of making the world unsafe for White supremacy, Nazism, and any other ideology that encourages a thirst for genocide, whether public or private. Nazis are no longer allowed to appear in public without people coming out and fighting back, letting them know that they are unwelcome in this world of supposed tolerance and equanimity to all persons, no matter the demographic. I've already writtenmany pieces onthe ethicsand morality ofpunching Nazis, but to summarize, they deserve to be punched. Anyone who makes another person unwelcome in the open for who they are and not for what they've done should be made to flee into the dark recesses of their homes and be afraid to see the light of day until they learn to hide their bigotry, or more hopefully, recant their ways and end their racism, homophobia, or other -ism/-phobia that allows them to act as a monster.

This includes attendance and employment at wrestling shows. I've said before wrestling should be for everyone. I was slightly fibbing when I said that. No form of entertainment, not wrestling or movies, sports or music, should be presented for Nazis, KKK members, and other racists and bigots. If every fan cannot feel safe at a wrestling show, then what is the point of having the wrestling show in the first place? It's one thing to be able to blame it on the promoter or even on the venue for misrepresenting the number of fans that it could hold. But when it's a fan element or even a wrestler with clear Nazi tattoos and known affiliations, ahem, like SHLAK, then it's clearly on the promoter, the promotion, the other wrestlers, or even other fans to take action. Promotions who book Nazis or Nazi collaborators, like Mark Briscoe who urged people to love Nazis on Twitter, need to be held accountable. Furthermore, promoters need to know not to sell tickets to known Nazis.

Of course, policing ticket sales may be impossible, because who is going to answer "yes" to a qualifying question of "Are you a White supremacist?" and even if you did magically block all avowed Nazis from purchasing, they could still buy from aftermarket purchases or have gullible friends buy for them. That's where you come in. If you see, say, the people from that racist wrestling podcast that had the 14 Words on their PW Tees page before backlash caused the parent company to remove their store, maybe you should make them feel unwelcome. They frequent Pro Wrestling Guerrilla shows. If you see fans with racist tattoos or shirts, maybe intimidate them with groups of your friends. Don't be afraid, because if you show strength, they'll back down. At heart, they're cowards who have only come out of the woodwork because the climate has made them feel comfortable. Even at the peak of George W. Bush's administration, these outward Nazis didn't feel comfortable in public, so they didn't show.

The problem is, you, me, everyone has been conditioned to think that confrontation is not an option, and these people thrive on it. They want you to stand down, because it's the only way they can exist in public. Don't be afraid. Be strong. Stand up to them and let them know that wrestling is a safe space for all fans, not just those born with privilege. Wrestling attracts people of all demographics. It's the one place where people can feel okay in their own skin because it is inherently weird and flamboyant. Taking that space away from people out of your own rank hatred is violence, and violence should not be tolerated, unless it's worked and in the ring.

Your Midweek Links: SummerSlam Is Nigh

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"Please don't come back! Please don't come back!"
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The biggest party of the summer is Sunday, but it's Wednesday. You still have days to prepare, but how will you spend your time before Takeover kicks off the festivities? Well, how about reading these links I'm providing to you? You'd like that, wouldn't you? Well, click 'em and read 'em! They're waiting for you to read them.

I wrote about how maybe if you're promoting a show not to oversell the building and cause a situation where fans feel unsafe. [The Wrestling Blog]

The G1 Climax has finished, and Elliot has the wrap-up on the final four shows in all their glory. [The Wrestling Blog]

The male gaze is strong in the world, but especially wrestling. Deathbysuzy asks male fans in the crowd to do better. [Medium]

SummerSlam on occasion has been better than WrestleMania, and David Austin Bumpus has 15 such occasions. [FanSided]

Takeover and SummerSlam are on the horizon, and Bob Garman knows which will be better, because NXT is schooling the main roster right now. [Camel Clutch Blog]

Ian Williams' Bruiseday examines how the crowd's reactions are literally its video game controller. [Waypoint on VICE]

Sawyer Paul recounts WWE's history with disavowing Hulk Hogan and hopes this time, it doesn't feature him returning to the company. [International Object]

Brady and Trask run down 2006's Vengeance pay-per-view, which was totally main evented by John Cena defending the WWE Championship against Sabu. Definitely. Scout's honor. [Wrestling With Words]

NON-WRESTLING #1: Hey, I went to Piccini in Ocean City, NJ for some righteous pizza, and you should too. Read why. [Holzerman Hungers]

NON-WRESTLING #2: Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 is out on home video soon, but that hasn't stopped Elle Collins from dream casting Vol. 3. [SyFy Wire]

Learning to Live with Smackdown

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lol
Photo Credit: WWE.com
This week on Smackdown I'm learning to live with:

Going Through the Motions
Natalya is challenging Naomi for the Women's Championship on Sunday, so on this episode Natalya got a win while Naomi was on guest commentary leading to after-match altercations. It's a well-worn pattern, and it was perfectly fine, but I was still a little dissatisfied. For one thing, I really missed Becky Lynch, and I kind of just wanted to watch her wrestle while she had an enjoyable little match with Natalya, so, much as I love Naomi, I resented the constant cuts to her and the focus on her. I know that's a ridiculous quibble when she's the one with a title defense coming up, but still. Also, the expected post-match shenanigans made zero sense.

After winning the match Natalya decided to beat up Lynch even further for absolutely no reason. She doesn't have anything going with Lynch right now, and it should have been obvious that Naomi, sitting right in front of her and fresh as a daisy, would jump in to interfere, which she did. And then Natalya immediately backed off, so what exactly was her goal there other than checking things off the pre-pay-per-view list? To top it off, Carmella skipped out to wave the Money in the Bank briefcase around as usual, and can this show just trust us to remember these plot points from week to week? At this point I'm hoping Carmella pulls a Corbin right away just so I don't have to constantly be hit over the head with the fact that Money in the Bank is a thing.

Whatever. The bottom line is that Smackdown's women's division has a singles match on the upcoming pay-per-view and I'm confident that Naomi and Natalya can put on a good show. I really need to focus on positive things like this.

The Briefest Possible Respite
Smackdown teased me with a re-run of the awesome Rusev/Chad Gable match we got a couple of weeks ago and then cruelly snatched it away almost as soon as it began with a double count-out. Admittedly, Rusev sending Gable sailing over the announce table looked impressively brutal.

Because he is a garbage human being who only cares about how cool he looks, Randy Orton did NOT come out to help Chad Gable but instead waited until the optimal moment to leap in from off-screen to RKO Rusev mid-diatribe. I choose to believe that Luke Harper appeared to carry Gable to safety and nurse him back to health.

Phrasing
While refusing to break eye contact, Shane McMahon earnestly told AJ Styles that if Styles puts his hands on McMahon again, “I'm going to put mine all over you.” Shane, I understand the impulse, but your untempered thirst is literally turning you orange. Dial it down.

A Free Preview
Smackdown tried to justify running the Usos against the New Day prior to SummerSlam by sending out Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston rather than Woods and Big E, which will be the lineup come Sunday, but that doesn't change the fact that we watched the Usos beat the New Day in a non-title match right before facing them in a title match. It is true that Big E brings something different to the table, and I do really like the idea that opposing teams will have to adapt depending on which combination they face, which I don't think is something that's really been explored before, which is odd given how long New Day has been together. So, yeah, I like that idea and I also liked the match, which involved great teamwork on both sides, but I still liked things where they stood going into Sunday. There was nothing wrong with letting them simmer until then.

Also, I've been down on Daniel Bryan as general manager a lot, but his fanboying over the Usos was one of my favourite things this week. The key to management not being a condescending prick to you; just be really cool!

Fucking Racism
That's what the opening segment to Smackdown was, let's be clear. Jinder Mahal's Indian heritage was once again trotted out to get the cheapest possible response from a xenophobic crowd, and he was once again proven right when he referred to the rampant jingoism. There are so many reasons why this continues to be a problem, and this segment in particular encompassed a whole lot of shit. Let's delve into it, shall we?

It was disrespectful to the dancers and the anthem singer, who were the real pros of the night. I was massively uncomfortable on their behalf as boos rained down, but they just kept smiling and doing their thing. They were not playing to the crowd like Jinder Mahal and the Singh brothers; they were just regular entertainers being hated on for putting on a lovely cultural display.

It was irresponsible given current events, when racists have been emboldened and need very little prodding to put their hateful thoughts into action.

It was pointless given Mahal's upcoming title defense against Shinsuke Nakamura, which has nothing whatsoever to do with his Indian heritage. Nakamura barely even referenced what he had interrupted, merely mentioning that Japan was also observing a celebration that day and then saying that he was coming for Mahal's title. That was it. Apart from the frustratingly lacklustre build their SummerSlam match is getting, this is also part of what makes all the flag-waving so unnecessary. Mahal should be a heel because he cheats to win and constantly has the Singh brothers interfering on his behalf. Literally nothing about his background (aside from being from Calgary, says the Edmontonian) makes him a bad guy. It's an aspect added solely to play on the undercurrent of racism running through too much of society, and it's a cheap and nasty thing to do.

It was nonsensical just as all of the animosity toward Mahal based on his Indian background is nonsensical, first of all for the very basic reason that, apart from a period during the Cold War, the United States and India have historically been on very good terms. India is a major defense partner of the United States, for fuck's sake. Second of all, Mahal was celebrating India's Independence Day, which was roundly booed by the audience. Ah yes, because throwing off the yoke of British rule is definitely not a thing that Americans can sympathize with. Nope! No common ground there! (I realize circumstances between the two independence movements were hugely different, but you get what I'm saying) In fact, the United States was firmly on the side of Indian independence, to the annoyance of Great Britain. What I'm saying is, crack open a fucking history book, WWE, and stop feeding into the shitty, ignorant mindframe of thinking that anyone not white must be up to no good. I mean, you shouldn't think that about ANYONE, but it is particularly baffling to play it up with regard to India.

Stop fanning these flames. Stop being terrible. Stop making me feel like an asshole for watching this show.

Poor, Dumb Baron Corbin
Right, back to the wrestling part of this wrestling show. By now you probably know about Baron Corbin's failed Money in the Bank cash-in after John Cena had finished dismantling Jinder Mahal (what a great way to send your champion into his title match at your pay-per-view!). I understand some people getting worked up about the decision, but my reaction at the time was just, “Welp, that happened.” I'm not invested in Corbin at all, and much as my sympathy for Jinder Mahal has grown, I still can't say that I'm invested in him as a champion, so things could have gone down either way and it would have been fine.

Thinking about it after the fact, though, I honestly feel like this makes complete sense for Baron Corbin's character. He's an arrogant, sullen teenager in over his head. This is a dude who doesn't grasp that being a lone wolf actually means that he's really bad at being a wolf. Of course he's too busy being pleased with himself for ruining John Cena's meaningless moment to realize that he could totally be WWE Champion right now. Of course he's too focused on keeping Cena down to stay on task. After all his time claiming that this is his moment and he's better and smarter than anyone, he was too busy being smug to realize that, yeah, that WAS his moment, and then he wasn't smart enough to get past the distraction of John Cena or the opportunism of Jinder Mahal. If Smackdown decides to be half as good as it could be, this should be an evolutionary moment for Corbin. He's been humbled and he needs to step up.

I'm not holding my breath for that to happen, of course.

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 200

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If only his dad were in the business, he'd be a failson
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Gabe Sapolsky going to a WWE creative position would be the apex on his career of failing upwards. He is the poster child for capital in America, which is weird to say about an industry bereft of the lucrative rewards in others rife with the kind of cronyism, good-boy-networking, and lack of color. But wrestling is less executed as an art and more as a cult to capitalism, complete with the same people given chance after chance after chance to run the show despite not showing any results. Sapolsky went from a Paul Heyman crony in Extreme Championship Wrestling to a job booking for Ring of Honor. The jump may not have been right away, but the point is, he got his big break because of who he knew, not because he gave a comprehensive five-point plan to Cary Silkin. Anyway, his run in ROH was critically acclaimed to be fair. How much of it was attributed to him and how much to the world-class cadre of wrestlers he had under his belt, like Bryan Danielson, CM Punk, Samoa Joe, and Nigel McGuinness to name a few, remains to be seen. Personally, that era was before my time.

Anyway, he fell out with ROH and his business ventures since then have been, well, spotty at best. He partnered with Dragon Gate to bring the influential brand of Japanese wrestling to America on a more full-time basis. It didn't take for whatever reason. It could have been Sapolsky's attempts at building a brand different from ROH with the American talent were average at best. It could have been that the idea of flying Dragon Gate's upper midcard and main event over to the United States was too expensive to run as a sustainable model. It could have been that the American talent Sapolsky did get over was transparently groomed to work in Japan. I don't know. However, EVOLVE, man, that entire concept from the beginning felt half-baked, and fans seemed to agree. Attendance figures were in the pits for shows that didn't feature Danielson. However, it was viable enough to survive after Dragon Gate ended its partnership. Inexplicably, despite attendance numbers and lack of buzz nationwide compared to even local promotions, people still wanted to wrestle for him. And then, once again, EVOLVE blew up again, not because it really did anything of note, but because somehow, Triple H/Paul Levesque didn't want to do business with corporately-owned ROH and started looking to him for a pipeline to cheap but name-brand indie wrestlers to plug into his boutique brand and eventually into a WWE he was about to inherit.

All of a sudden, Sapolsky has a ton of cards in his hands, yet, what has been the name story he's booked? How has he enhanced the talent he brought in? No doubt, he's booked great wrestlers and personalities (personalities, because where would EVOLVE be without Stokely BY GOD Hathaway?). That has never been his problem though. His problem is glomming credit for the baller matches his talent had and all the great stuff they've done in the absence of a coherent story. His influence on a story has almost always been to its detriment. Which is why rumors of him going to WWE are both hilarious and appropriate. He and WWE deserve each other. Really, they do.

First and foremost, the most ideal go-to meat is pork roll. Like bacon, it can be a flavorful accessory to other sandwiches: fried chicken, burgers, eggs even. Unlike bacon, it's hearty and meaty enough that it can be the main event and have ingredients built around it.

Second, a burger is a sandwich, so a ground beef patty, say, 80-20 protein-to-fat ratio is the key here.

Third, well, name a product that comes from the humble pig. Roasted pork shoulder. Barbecue pulled pork. Hams of various providence. Other kinds of charcuterie like salami. The pig is the sandwich animal.

I'm assuming this isn't even about the failed cash-in, which is really not on him. For a guy who has built his online reputation on The Banter, he's been getting owned pretty hard lately. The biggest ding against him has been going after a dude and then backing down when he played the "I'M THE TROOPS" card. Apparently Mojo Rawley owned him too, but man, I don't have time to keep up with 2015 NXT's D-class firing shots at each other on Twitter Dot Com. The Dave Meltzer stuff is also a mark against him, but not because Ol' Melty owned him. It's because Corbin probably should know by now that no one wins when they start yelling at Meltzer about whether or not they're good or not, especially if they work for WWE. The only thing that I think may have worked against him career-wise was the thing with the veteran because you know how hard Vince McMahon RESPECTS the troops. However, I doubt one incident on Twitter caused the company to give up on him. I don't necessarily think it was going to strap him anyway. But his reputation as the best shit-talker in the company on Twitter took a huge hit. Will he recover? Time will tell.

Defining modern wrestling as "wrestling after it came to cable television," the answer is simple.

Photo Credit: WWE.com
What, you were expecting Abyss?

Well, 69 is an incredible number. It is, of course, the sex number, and it's the only real marquee number to consist of two digits. However, all marquee numbers need consideration. For example, 420 is the weed number. Is it better than 69? To me, no, because 420 has a sort of slacker stank on it. It's not as exciting as 69. Now, 666, that's a real contender. It is the number of The Beast, which has the dual purpose of pissing off Christians AND associating with Iron Maiden's greatest song. But is it better than 69? It's a contender. I'll go back to it. Then you have 911, which has taken on fame for irony purposes, but I'm not comfortable putting it over when it is associated with, well, you know. Finally, 80085 is for all us oldheads with solar-powered calculators who'd type in that number because it looked like "BOOBS." It's awesome in a nostalgia sense, but it's even too puerile for this exercise.

So now, it's down to 69 and 666. Both are great, but it comes down to sex vs. religion at its core. Sex is way more fun than religion. So to answer your question, no. No number is greater than 69. It is clear that 69 is the best number of all-time.

The first and foremost thing is that the width and breadth of questions posed by the readership and mutual following on Twitter is far deeper than I could have imagined. I've gotten some supremely creative questions over the years, ones I've had to wrack my brain to answer, ones that took my psyche down paths I never thought open to me. I feel like a lot of my best content has come in various TweetBag questions, which makes the relationship between you, the reader/asker and me, the author/answerer, symbiotic. I need you to give me the stimulus to produce the best of what I have in my arsenal. This isn't some Bill Simmons mailbag venture where I pick the least creative questions to answer and pretend I'm some kind of savant by making constant references to things that may not matter, and then condescend to you at the end by picking the absolute dumbest pap to say "Yup, these are my readers." Sure, I answer every question, but even the gag answers to gag questions I feel are more than just a brush-off. Or not. Maybe I'm full of shit and you all hate me for my glib answers. But I do feel a kinship over this whole venture. And that's the important thing.

That question might not be the right one to ask. You should ask "Is the NFL worth my time this year," which is far murkier but ripe for a juicier debate. I feel like the NFL is the next victim thinkpiece writers will pin on the Industry Killin' Fiends Known As Millennials because of all the head trauma, the slow pace of game, and the growing epidemic of shitty people in the league, whether owners or players. I personally still think it's a worthy game to follow. If you do too, then the answer to your original question is a resounding YES. As it stands right now, only like three or four teams are not going to be worth following: Los Angeles Chargers, Chicago Bears, New York Jets, and possibly the San Francisco 49ers or Cleveland Browns. Everyone else has some modicum of hope, and the Eagles are no different. Are they resounding favorites to make the playoffs? I'd be a massive homer to say they were, because the defense has holes, and who knows if Carson Wentz's receivers will stay healthy enough to catch his passes, provided he doesn't have a sophomore slump. But if the NFL grows increasingly superfluous to you, no team may be worth your time.

I've never had a fish taco. I think this point in the TweetBag is as good a time as any to admit that I'm not a huge fan of fish in general. It started from when I was a young lad and just wouldn't touch any seafood because I ate it once and thought it was gross. I've since relented, and I eat all kinds of shellfish, tuna, salmon (raw, smoked, or cured only), cephalopods, and mollusks. But I'm still a bit wary of whitefishes and so I couldn't tell you about a good fish taco or burrito. That question is better suited for native San Diegan and Fish Taco Aficionado, Butch.

It is, oddly enough, not the McRib. Even though I'd probably never touch one with a ten foot pole, at least the McRib plays on people's demand for diversity and flavor. Every fast food restaurant that has a fish sandwich, or worse, only really has a fish sandwich to coincide with Fridays in Lent, is putting out a product just to pander to people following something that is only official doctrine because a pope in the Middle Ages wanted to boost the fishing industry. Maybe it's my predilection against fish (see above) that shades this answer, but I'll abide by a shitty pork product that appeals to America's greatest contribution to the culinary arts than some shitty fish product pandering to blue-haired old ladies who feel like redlining is okay but eating cow flesh on a Friday in early spring isn't.

Twitter is a solid 5, and most of the points taken off have everything to do with its administration and handling of harassment. In theory, it's a wonderful tool to disseminate information, connect with people, and share opinions without the high price of access. However, because the people in charge would rather make changes none of its users want than police the number of people harassing folks or even existing while spouting racist or otherwise bigoted ideologies, whether behind a mask or even out in the open in the case of people like David Duke and Richard Spencer, making the dissemination of information, connections with people, and sharing of opinions dangerous rather than good. It would be one thing if all opinions were welcome, but the policing seems to come in response to the Nazis, whom Twitter has verified, by the way. If I wasn't already ingrained in Twitter, I wouldn't sign up for it today.

It's going to depend on how far WWE takes this acknowledgement. For example, if it's just something that the Twitter/Dot Com brings up and it's never mentioned on television/streaming, then it'll just be something that festers and is an occasional talking point. Everyone knows that the online arm of WWE likes to prod at things that the televised narrative won't touch because even without Joey Styles there, that staff has some degree of autonomy in what it chooses to highlight. However, if the Mae Young Classic airs, and LeRae's matches vs. people like Cedric Alexander get mentioned, and Abbey Laith winning a title held by all men before and after her reign is highlighted, then hoo boy, expect the debate on intergender wrestling to reach new and embarrassingly annoying frontiers, baybay.

Okay, so you're worried about two events with live-viewing primacy going head-to-head, WWE's second biggest Network event of the year and the money episode of any Game of Thrones season. It isn't like missing episode 2 of a season to watch SummerSlam, nor is it like skipping WWE Wrestling Match: The Pay-Per-View to watch the Shit Going Down episode of the series. If you DVR GoT, you risk being spoiled by one sphere of Twitter. If you watch the PPV on the Network afterwards, you risk missing out on the big deals from another. If you go delayed watching, you'd have to go dark on social media. But hark, what is this, a third way? If you're willing to break the law and seek out some leaks from, ahem, dubious sources, you can watch Game of Thrones... now. That way, you'll know how Westerosi Suicide Squad vs. Zombies, Wraiths, and Walkers turns out on time and can watch the whole of SummerSlam.

Me? I'm a giant coward, so I'll be pausing SummerSlam and watching GoT live. I was going to just switch over, but man, the end of Smackdown kinda got me hype to see the whole show now, not just the RAW four-way main event. I am willing to make the sacrifice and stay away from social media to absorb. The question is... will you?

Okay, so the first thing to do is find more than just the boutique bodies from America for this division. AJ Brooks is a great name, but she's just one possible wrestler. So, the first thing to do is call Rossy Ogawa or whoever is heading up STARDOM nowadays. If he doesn't pick up or bite, then move onto the people who used to run JWP, or Mayumi Ozaki and Oz Academy, or Meiko Satomura and Sendai Girls. Assuming that's the option, you now have a Japanese base. You have an American base in the Women of Honor. You have CMLL's women's division. Now you need to crown a Champion. Women's G1 Climax, anyone?

BLOCK A
Amber O'Neal, Sumie Sakai, Mandy Leon, Dalys la Caribeña, Princesa Sugehit, Mayumi Ozaki, Tsubasa Kurigaki, DASH Chisako, Command Bolshoi, AJ Brooks

BLOCK B
Kelly Klein, Deonna Purrazzo, Jenny Rose, Zeuxis, Silueta, Meiko Satomura, Aja Kong, Cassandra Miyagi, Hanako Nakamuri, Leon

A rough reckoning of that field gives you a Meiko Satomura vs. Command Bolshoi final. Either way, you start out with a strong champion and some options for feuds going forward, including Brooks, Kong, and Zeuxis (during FantasticaMania).

If caramel isn't considered "traditional," then I go with that hands down. If it is, then I would probably go with some kind of cayenne pepper salt. Spicy popcorn seems like it would be a great munching snack.

It's gotta be Sandow if only because that one felt awful both in the moment AND in retrospect after the requisite, WWE-butt-kisser "wait and see" period. Of course, the Corbin cash-in just happened, but in the moment, it actually felt like a good call, which is where it already surpasses Sandow. For one, the Corbin moment felt like a legit surprise, built towards an existing match (vs. John Cena at SummerSlam), kept the title on someone who wasn't already super-established (Jinder Mahal), and actually protected Corbin in a way by hearkening back to ANOTHER moment when the top guy in the company was a colossal dickbag to an adversary and everyone was expected to be okay with it because it was Cena (remember Royal Rumble '92?). Further analysis shows a good reason for it other than "Corbin ain't ready, pardnah." This year is the first year WWE has a women's Money in the Bank. Obviously, Carmella is going to cash it in successfully or else, uh, why introduce it into the women's division. Having only one cash-in will make hers stand out, which won't be a complete makegood for the way she came about the case, but it's something. Plus, Corbin has that requisite wait-and-see period which in his case may be a positive because he's not a dude dead in the water on his second go-around on the main roster with a second ring name and who's tall. I could be dead wrong about this, but I feel like Corbin is going to be okay.

Ah, yes, a PPR league. It's hard not to go running back in those leagues, but how could one pass up Antonio Brown, who seems like a surer thing than his teammate and potential hold-out/injury risk, LeVeon Bell. I got him at first overall. Then, at my next two picks at 20 and 21, I'm taking a chance on Leonard Fournette and rounding out my WR corps with DeAndre Hopkins. When 40 and 41 roll around, pickings start to get a little slimmer. But I see value with Carlos Hyde in a sneaky San Francisco offense that could be much improved from last year now that it has better guidance (even with the downgrade at quarterback). I couple him with the waning years of Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. Picks 60 and 61, I gotta get a QB, so hello Matt Ryan, and a TE, so let's go Delanie Walker. At 80 and 81, I'm filling taking some depth with Tevin Campbell and Tyrell Williams. Finally, at pick 100, I'll round out my WR corps with DaVante Parker. Of course, that's all speculation based on one set of rankings and in a league format that I'm not all too familiar with. However, why not.

Only the most important question: Drew, how do you feel?

I'm going to level with you; since the team was relegated, I've paid scant little attention to Aston Villa. That being said, I looked at the tables from last year and this year so far, and I can only conclude that Arsene Wenger MUST resign now Steve Bruce probably is in over his head. If I were AVFC management, I'd pressure him into resigning before the storied club gets the boot down to the next league down.

Protected user @adamsgroove asks:
Congratulations on 200. Anything we haven't asked you yet that you're itching to answer? And how much longer will you do this?
I answer whatever comes my way, so really, I just want questions from a wide breadth of Twitter followers. As for how much longer I'll go, well, assuming I don't go skeleton like I did for awhile last year or so, I'd imagine the TweetBag will be around as long as TWB is around.

I wouldn't put them in the finals against each other because you can't go into a new era and not put a native team over. Chikara has done the "guests win" thing the last two years, and I think a team that is around all the time needs to win this year. Granted, the team I'd pick, the Xyberhawx 2000, are plum up against Sendai Girls in the first round. So if the aim is to have last year's winners take on the IT fellas from England, I guess the birbs can wait until next year. But no, it should absolutely not happen in the final round. Perhaps it should be the Night 2 main event as a marquee quarterfinal match.

By definition, dad jokes aren't good or supposed to be good. They're all varying stages of groan-inducing. I can't pick a favorite, but this one I posted on Twitter yesterday is one I'm proud of:


So the weasel-word answer that doesn't really address your question is every wrestler would benefit because short of a union, a competitor to WWE is the best way to ensure better payments and better treatment. Creatively, I would hazard to guess Cesaro would be an answer, but not the best one. First, the cruiserweights might be better off because in the same way that WWE was a home for guys like Chris Jericho and the Radicalz when they left WCW, a second promotion that didn't have a stupid weight branding might be able to push, say Cedric Alexander or Akira Tozawa or Neville to the moon without any sort of condition. Cesaro might be better off too, but it would depend on the tenor of the promotion. In that respect, Sheamus might also be one as well.

The first rider is they get to stuff Vince McMahon in a crate and send him to live in the White House with his buddy Donald Trump. Anyway, my first choice, by an overwhelming margin, is Rebecca Sugar. Who is she, you might ask? Well, she's the showrunner of a little cartoon series called Steven Universe. Her show displays so many things that WWE aches to improve in: character development, layered continuity, dynamic storytelling, LGBTQ/POC representation without pandering. If you want someone in charge of a universe with many different characters, she's the person you call. Also, judging by the "Tiger Millionaire" episodes, she either is a fan of wrestling or has enough respect/knowledge of the art to know how it might work. Judging by the characterization of Lars in the "Tiger Philanthropist" episode as a total smark, she just might be the former. The second one I guess would be in charge of the brand Sugar wasn't in charge of. So, uh, I guess Stephen King can do the other brand? Sure, he sucks at writing endings, but honestly, he'd improve on the beginnings and middles of WWE programming enough that the endings would be palatable. Besides, when has WWE ever been good at resolutions?

MAIN EVENT  Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan: The top stars of either company during this whole thing would have to face off. Of course, it'd be a good match for Austin too as at the peak, he was suffering from neck troubles, and Hogan wasn't known as a strenuous worker anyway.

The Rock vs. Bill Goldberg: This match did happen, but not while Goldberg was at the top of his mystique. However, it was when Rock was at or closer to his peak as a worker. Still, this is where it's at.

The Undertaker vs. Sting: Duh.

Mankind vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage: Two guys who are manic in their own way facing off has potential for an all-time crazy brawl if you ask me.

New Age Outlaws vs. The Outsiders: The two marquee tag teams face off in two-on-two mayhem. Given that none of the four guys in this match were any good in the ring, this match would be more for spectacle than anything. But still.

If Roman Reigns ends up back in The Shield, you'll know it's going strong still.

Man, the pickings are pretty slim. It's basically either Stanislaus Zbyszko or Rusev at this point, and that's either picking a dude from the prehistoric days of professional wrestling that few fans have ever seen and a guy who hasn't quite made it in WWE yet. Either way, pro wrestling and Eastern Europe aren't really fast friends.

I haven't really listened to it yet, and I've only read recaps from guys like Scott and Elliot. That being said, it's another podcast by a business veteran, so it feels like feeding into the oversaturation. When the wrestling biz podcasts were just Colt Cabana and Steve Austin, great, they each had their own voice. Then Chris Jericho joined in, and okay, that makes sense but I'm not sure I wanna listen to it. But then Ric Flair and Roddy Piper and Vince Russo and Mick Foley all started doing podcasts and it's like, enough is enough. But that's just me speaking out of my own preferences anymore. Prichard may speak to a different audience in a unique voice. I'm just so burnt out on the medium and the saturation within.

It only ran once, but ho ho ho, it was great:


Going back to the "modern day number two" question, it's not that I don't think Cesaro could be a main event guy in another promotion. It's just I'm not sure if he could fit better in a modern-day WCW equivalent than in WWE right now. However, I know of one promotion that just ran a 19-show tournament focused mainly and mostly on wrestling and Cesaro would kill it over there. Sure, New Japan Pro Wrestling already has a Tomohiro Ishii, but while upper midcard guy who has bomb matches on all spots of the card sounds like something that fits Cesaro like a tee. Plus, he'd pull it off with a bit more panache than Ishii, and ho boy, I'm getting the vapors thinking about a Cesaro/Ishii HOSS FIGHT. It's not like getting rid of one to get the other over here, y'know?

The first TweetBag was five years ago, five fuckin' years ago. I think the biggest shift in opinion since then is probably in how I judge wrestling itself and matches. I was a lot more rigid and had more criteria then. Now, I look at stuff a lot more abstractly. Did the match entertain me, and did it fit in the overall oeuvre of the show/promotion/narrative to which it belongs? Did it have artistic merit? Did it try to do something I've never seen before, and if it didn't, was it at least an excellent interpretation on the older tropes? That might sound like it's more complex, but it's not, and it's more of an appeal to emotion rather than a checklist of stuff to go through. It's more analytical, and yet less analytical at the same time if that makes sense. Also, I was far less of a leftist then than I am now, but that's more an overall thing than a wrestling opinion thing.

I would put it at 100 percent except for the fact that Roman Reigns has consistently been positioned as The Guy in WWE and Dean Ambrose and even Seth Rollins have not. This reunion feels like giving Rollins and Ambrose something to do with all the other non-main event guys while Reigns, Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe, and eventually John Cena take up the RAW main event scene. That being said, nothing in recent WWE history felt more important than The Shield, and if WWE wanted to boost Rollins and Ambrose again in an instant and attempt to turn Reigns' crowd reactions all positive, all it has to do is put the three of them back together. The reactions would be loud. Neither Ambrose nor Rollins was really doing anything before they started teasing them teasing again, and the reactions were off the charts. That's the power of The Shield.

Of course, the money story would be Reigns rejecting Ambrose and Rollins, and them recruiting Kassius Ohno, but you and I know that will never, ever happen.

It is and always will be undefeated streaks. A kick finisher can at least look cool. An undefeated streak is good once every blue moon. When you have them going almost all the time, then it's overkill.

The same thing WWE was going to do with them before, keeping them on restrictive deals that in the wake of Pete Dunne getting smashed up by a negligent Darius Carter could get more restrictive. They'll make an extra $20K a year to be on retainer and possibly work NXT here and there, and any attempt at reviving a competing promotion to WWE and WWE friendly companies in the UK will be choked out before it starts. And the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass grows all around.

In every situation, I will take the former. At heart, I'm a wrestling fan for the matches, and while the constant complaints I have about booking corrode at me, I am the easiest person in the world to please. Give me the Hardy Boys vs. HOSS International or AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn or Pete Dunne vs. Tyler Bate and I will love you forever even if the trappings are idiotic. You can only give me so much mileage out of great storytelling with limited guys like Snitsky or Heidenreich. Granted, I'll still watch and find things to praise about it, but it won't hit me as much as today's roster, or more pointedly, the 2013 roster that had The Shield, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Sheamus, Damien Sandow, and even Ryback (RYBACK?!?!?) banging out every week, do.

This is the point in the TweetBag where I out myself as a fake rap fan because the only LP I've listened to all the way through is Enter the 36 Chambers. It's a fantastic album but everything else is just songs and snippets. But out of that, I'll always like Method Man the best. He just feels the most real, the rawest, even if his flow isn't as good as, say, Ghostface or Raekwon. As for other projects, I might enjoy, I'll defer to the former Vice President of the United States and say that Liquid Swords is my next Spotify listen.

First off, I'm disappointed in D for this because usually she would be up front with butts.

Second, in no particular order:

  • Abbey Laith
  • Peyton Royce
  • Drew Gulak
  • Marti Belle
  • Naomi
Of course, I am willing to hear cases for other butts, but please provide ample visual evidence when you do. Ample visual evidence. Yes.


It is 2013, and it's not even close. Orton has been a layabout for most of his career, coasting on his reputation, his billing, and a finisher that is by my count 59 times more over than he is, possibly more. He's had great singular performances here and there, but outside of his run in 2013 where he was going with Daniel Bryan every other week, he hasn't been consistent. I'd like to think that it was because he was pushed by Bryan and the rest of the WWE's supporting cast that year, which is perhaps the best calendar year for any mainstream company in American history. Any other year, the actual resume just isn't present.

I'll do both sports and wrestling. For sports, all four Philly franchises seem to be in good hands, so I would head over to Chicago's South Side and try to fix the White Sox. I would employ a combination of Moneyball-style finding-value-in-undervauled-areas while spending a good budget on scouting, not just North America, but Latin America and even worldwide. I would accumulate draft picks and prospects until a point when the team was ready to contend. Hopefully the team is ready to contend before I get fired.

As for wrestling, give me Global Force Wrestling's television slot. I will then purge the timeslot of anything remotely connected to GFW, TNA, Impact, whatever. I would keep select wrestlers and attempt partnerships with key global ventures to add in international flavor. Who would I put on top? It depends on what wrestlers I would end up with and what international partnerships I procure. But my wrestling product would emphasize blowoff matches as "boss battles" or "epic cinema finales" to culminate simple stories with varying degrees of flair. You would know who the characters are and you will get a sense of what they believe.

I've had a lot of really great questions over the year, and I'm not sure I can pinpoint just one as a favorite from every one of the 200 TweetBags. However, the question about which President would've made the best pro wrestler from Vol. 194 by @NotBrockJahnke gave me the best brainstorming. Plus, I just like the phrase "William Howard Taft Bodyslam Challenge."

NXT In 60 Seconds

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Well, obviously
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Master Regal: Hello, everyone.  It's contract signing time.  First, let us bring out the challenger: Ember Moon!
Ember: looks alternatively concerned and focused
Regal: And now, the champion: Asuka!
Asuka: quarter-heartedly looks non plussed, somewhat bothers to smile a couple times, and Queen Waves a couple more
Ember: You're the most dominant champion in WWE history.  You've even surpassed Goldberg's record, but...
Full Sailors: chant Asuka like Goldberg
Asuka: for real smiles now
Ember: ...but you only had to use shortcuts with me.  All they did was make me harder better faster stronger, and come Saturday night I Daft Punk your ass out, end your streak, and claim the NXT Women's World Championship.  signs
Some Full Sailors: D-Bry Yes! chants
Some Full Sailors: D-Bry No! chants
Asuka: signs, pen drop
Regal: It is official: at our third Takeover: Brooklyn Ember Moon will face Asuka for the NXT Women's World Championship.
Asuka: yells angrily in Japanese repeatedly
Full Sailors: pop, mostly
Asuka: holds the title up in the air, staring Ember down
Ember: stares Asuka down

Lars Sullivan, "Earlier Today": Mr. Regal, all I need is one more shot.
William Regal: Very well.  But you can't go carrying on mauling your poor partner after the match inside our ring!
Lars: Understood, boss.

jump cut to 

Street Profits: Looking at our Guccis, it's about that time!
Future Victim: ignores Lars and starts off the match by getting rekt
Lars Sullivan: glaring Fight me, damn it!
Montez Ford: NO!
Profits: lay out Future Victim and finish him off
Referee: Winners!
Lars: fumes
Full Sailors: Lars is gonna kill you!  Lars is gonna kill you!
Referee: Hey, buddy, maybe you...
Lars: MOVE!
Referee: does
Lars: puts Future Victim over his shoulder and walks out
Mauro Ranallo: Well!  Maybe this is a new leaf for La... uh, I'm being told something's going on in the back...
Lars: Hulk smash and throw Current Victim into the trash
Mauro: Technically that's not inside our ring...


Billie Kay: I've got this, don't I?
Peyton Royce: Oh, my bestie's got everything and anything.
Ruby Riot: squints questioningly, then reels off some rollups
Peyton: No, you don't!
Ruby: Yes, I do!  kicks her away, walks into a discus lariat
BK: stomps, Eat Defeat Winner!
Referee: Nope.
Ruby: See that nope and raise you a comeback.  Kicks!  Deadly Nightshade!  Pele Kick!
Referee: Winner!
Peyton: The sun was in my boo's eyes!  And you'll never be Iconic, you gross tattooed loser!
Ruby: walks to the back looking like the Sure Jan GIF

Drew McIntyre: powers Roderick Strong around the ring
Roderick Strong: cracks him in the mouth with a leg lariat, dropkicks him out to the floor, then eventually backbreakers him into the apron I need this.   I need this.  Bret backbreaker, eventually a camel clutch
DMC: gets out from under and hits an overhead belly to belly  Finally.  axehandle off the top, inverted Alabama Slam
Strong: Kickout!  back suplex backbreaker, apron gamengiri
DMC: retaliation headbutt with Strong on the top rope
Bobby Roode: punches Strong, stomps McIntyre while he's in the Tree of Woe, then mounted lefts and rights Always good to have an insurance policy.  sends Strong into the steps
Full Sailors: BOO!
Roode: mocks DMC before hitting the GDT, blows a kiss to Roddy
Full Sailors: You suck!  You suck!  You suck!  You suck!

Roode: yelling at McIntyre This is MY NXT!  MINE!  to everyone And there will be no comeuppance!  You hear me?!  NO COMEUPPANCE!

Best Coast Bias: It's (nearly) All Good, BAY BAY BAY BAY

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The blueprint?  Three.
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Results, stray thoughts, and takeaways from the third iteration of Takeovers out of Barclays just as soon as Sinclair figures out which Briscoe to give which title (they're the only ones left besides Dalton Castle, right?)...

Results: 
  • Andrade "Cien" Almas pinned Johnny Gargano after a hammerlock DDT.
  • SAnitY's Eric Young and Alexander Wolfe (after some early confusion) beat the Authors of Pain to win the NXT World Tag Team Titles.
  • Aleister Black defeated Hideo Itami by pinning him after a Black Mass.
  • Asuka successfully defended her undefeated streak and NXT Women's World Championship by making Ember Moon tap out to the Asuka Lock.
  • Drew McIntyre become the 11th different man to win the NXT World Championship by pinning Bobby Roode after a Claymore kick.
  • After the match, Adam Cole, Kyle O'Reilly, and Bobby Fish beat McIntyre down.
General Observations: 
  • In a nice change of pace, Code Orange played live to open to show with one of the card's many themes while the opening video package played on the DustyTron in the arena.
  • Since this was his first stint as lead announcer in BK, did Mauro Ranallo get off a Biggie reference quicker than Usain Bolt running the 100?  I feel like he did, but it was close.  
  • Crowd out in force with the closed-eye-smiley-face signature signs of Johnathon Grapples, and his new attire and Tron seem to be making reference to his being The Whole Shebang with bombs on them, so look for that nickname to get drummed into your brain until you acquiesce.
  • Nice showing from the outset Cien could hang with Johnny on the mat for a while, but he wasn't going to win that.
  • A reverse facelock elbow drop from Almas?   DELIGHTFUL!
  • Early in the match, Cien got Tranquilo in the ropes and then immediately followed it up with his Tarantula-esque cross-armbreaker.  He tried it again later on in the match and got superkicked in the face and tope suicidaed in the chest for that, so while Zelina Vega's cut out the Playgirl poses on the mat itself she's still got work to do.
  • Hope to see more of her charge using the tornado inverted DDT, as it's pretty while being impactful, which should be his motif going forward in this career renaissance.
  • Like around 95% of the viewing audience, I assumed the Gargano Escape was it, so I was pleasantly surprised to see it countered with a one-armed buckle bomb from the luchador.
  • Scratch that earlier bullet point, as Vega showed her worth in the finish, tossing Johnny a #DIY shirt (TOO SOON!) as it looked like he was going to finish off Cien with the basement superkick, thus leading into a sudden dropkick and a hammerlock DDT for the mild upset.
  • It's like Gargano's never seen a piece of pop culture before; just because you're finished with the past doesn't mean the past is finished with you. Great way to make Vega seem like a brilliant difference-maker, Cien with a sudden ability to close out that's eluded him up until their alliance, and to keep Tommaso Ciampa present in the story going forward without having the need to have him do anything at all.  Brighter as El Idolo's future looks now that he can win, if they get to the #DIY Explodes! match it'll probably blot out anything else they could do that isn't a singles title match.
  • Roderick Strong was talking to Kurt Angle in the press box.  Team Australia was talking to OUR MAIN MAN D-BRY next to that conversation.  2017, everybody!  
  • Per the semi-official Homecoming motif, Corey Graves came out to guest announce the NXT World Tag Team championship match.
  • There was a Pier 4 before it even got underway with Eric Young pulling out Chekov's Table.
  • Early on, Wolfe took a beating while Killian Dain stood on the apron.  When it came time for him to tag out, EY jumped on the apron and KD hit the floor after he accepted the tag; this was all fine since Dain hadn't done anything in the match proper and got a good pop from the crowd for the smarts of it.
  • But how in the turquoisest hell did New Day not do that spot before the Purge: Full Sail?
  • Not as blatantly brilliant was another Pier 4 breaking out with the illegal men in the ring, thus presumably drawing the referee's attention and keeping him from counting the legal men brawling into the crowd way beyond what would've been a count of ten.
  • Shoutout to the Authors for continuing to expand their repertoire via a backdrop into a Dominator, as well as a powerbomb/neckbreaker hybrid late in the match that the challengers survived.
  • Alexander Wolfe played the crazy man's Ricky Morton, and the crowd was Here For It.  Had it not been for the full force of Cien's coming-out party in the opener he would've had the most people talking about how successful he was in establishing himself as a force when there'd been scant evidence to back that theory going into TO:BK3.  Him T-Bone suplexing an Author and hitting a German (appropriately enough) on the other Author was his signature moment of the match.
  • Great moment with Nikki Storm holding onto EY's legs to block an attempted powerbomb superplex attempt; as a result, Hemingway laid out Steinbeck (or was that the other way around) and gave them a modified power play.
  • Storm got the pop of the match when it looked like she and Ellering were going to throw down; instead, it was an unofficial signal for the closing run that slammed the book shut on an undefeated streak and a title reign.
  • She Steamboat pressed an Author on the floor, who caught her, and then caught Dain's Flying Knox that sent all three of them through the table.  
  • They had the numbers advantage, they made the match chaotic for the most part, and the assisted flying neckbreaker got them their first championships.
  • Four shadows were briefly created in the ring, as Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly broke up the party and increasingly loud show of respect from the crowd by laying out not only the new champs, but the old ones as well.  ROH emigres laying out a new champion before they even had a chance to celebrate?  
  • And now, a word from Keenan Ivory Wayans.
  • Here's why predetermined works sometimes where the real doesn't.  Between matches they played Faces In The Crowd: Homecoming Edition and switched from Neville, stonefaced and grumpy to Shinsuke Nakamura inexplicably next to Kalisto, both laughing and doing the other one's signature crowd-beloved hand gestures.  Mama Bliss bless those nerdlords.
  • If they're bringing out Good Ol' J.R., you had to figure it was Slobberknocker O'Clock time.
  • Incendiary appeared to play Black out, who rose from amongst them while they played his theme.  Another live performance on this thing and it might as well be renamed North by Northeast.
  • Hideo Itami got in his face before the bell, Aleister's mama ain't raise no punk, and thus the match started with them kicking each other in the face at the same time a few times before going forehead to forehead with the other to the roar of the crowd.  It wasn't full-out ultraviolence but it was damn nice.
  • Seriously, this match didn't seem to have too much reason to exist besides "watch these two dudes beat the crap out of each other" and BOW HOWDY did it deliver on that end.  Despite taking what seemed to be the bigger beating early on, Itami did enough damage with some strike(s) that when he got to slowing the match down after he took control Black was bleeding from the nose.  Drake (of course Drake the Younger reffed this match) donned the gloves but nothing came of it and the match didn't even stop.
  • Feigning giving the crowd what they want before putting on a chinlock, Itami?  KO was right there, you're lucky he didn't mistake this place for a parking lot.
  • Props to his adding a mocking sitdown to his mocking back kick.  Too bad that's like poking the bear in the land of black and yellow.
  • While bloodbaths are unnecessary, this is another NXT match with accidental blood where it elevates everything going on.  And with Mauro and Nigel at the controls, they seamlessly worked that legitimate injury into a story as the match unfolded.
  • For the first time, Black's speed on it made the log roll look like something painful and to be avoided.
  • He landed such a Cro Copian shot that it legitimately looked like it finished off Itami, and the aforementioned announcers (not you, Percival) sold it as such.
  • The only bad thing about Itami's avalanche Falcon Arrow was that you knew Black would kick out, since they hadn't fired each other up yet.
  • Stiff.  Stiff.  Stiff.  (in order: an Itami backfist, his follow-up overhand right, and Black's bicycle knee strike.)
  • Hideo: less time yelling about respect, more time avoiding getting Black Massed again.  Stamford's official photo gallery has a moment of impact and for intents and purposes it looks like he did a picture-perfect job of trying to block it with his jugular.
  • Last year, there Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks stood.  This year, Bayley joined them.
  • Thought before the NXT Women's World Title match: this should really be main eventing.
  • Thought after the NXT Women's World Title match: that really should have main evented.
  • Thought after the NXT World Title match: that NXT Women's World Title match really should have main evented.
  • Ember got a bit of spark with a new robe and green accents to her attire, but she wasn't going to outshine the SLAY KWEEN coming out in golden mask with attached tiara and headpiece.  She was right, because the Empress always  is, even if no one was sure if this was Day 504 (!) or Day 505 (!) of her reign: no one is ready for Asuka.
  • Actually, that's not true. Ember Moon drilled her with a single leg dropkick at the bell, then swarmed her to the point where she had a nearfall in the opening minute and landed a cannonball from the ringpost to the floor in the next one.
  • Asuka thought she'd slowed Moon down by tossing her into the stairs but didn't really gain control until she had suplexed her onto the steel part of the ramp and got to work with some joint manipulation after a pair of roundhouse kicks to the arm she'd injured months ago.
  • Even more props for her alternatively waving and smiling at the Horsewomen in attendance while making Moon eat more of her offense.
  • How was Asuka's German into the corner not the craziest part of the match!?
  • Moon even got the Asuka Lock on its progenitor, only to be the first victim of a backpack Asuka Lock.  Never try to beat somebody with their own thing unless they're already unconscious, they learn the counters right after they learn how to do it!
  • Moon, to her credit, laid Asuka out with a nice tornado suplex and an even better diving forearm of all things.
  • The Eclipse came two days early.  Asuka still kicked out of it, however.
  • Moon's disbelief over this turn of events was great, since she herself was virtually undefeated headed into the match (maybe with an asterisk next to the Chicago loss) and Full Sail's literally spent a year selling that move as a death blow.
  • Speaking of Chicago, Asuka used the ref to block another attempt.  This being the evolution of that, Ember dove off with a Steamboat press, only for Asuka to roll through and hold the tights, only for her to get caught in that incursion.
  • Even with what happened in/after the main event, Moon hit the prettiest, hardest-hitting superkick on the evening, Asuka kicked out of that, too, and the challenger's subsequent one-armed low-level .4 Reso tantrum felt like a shoot, bruddah.
  • Asuka played possum long enough to get a cross-armbreaker, and that was the thing that got her to the Lock and eventually, another win.
  • The camera hung long post-match, and it seemed like the possibility of something bonus in the offing giving what had directly preceded it (as well as what was to immediately follow) but it was merely to stick with the challenger.
  • Her draped over the bottom rope in resigned failure bore more than a passing resemblance to Sami Zayn accepting the loss to Cesaro at the first Takeover, whether by accident or design.  It was like the standing O that resulted from her Herculean effort meant nothing.
  • And for the third straight year, the NXT Women's World Championship match at Takeover the night before will probably easily outclass any thing put on during the seventeen hours SummerSlam now takes in that very ring in that very spot.
  • Seeing them briefly in separate cutaways reminded me of one of the most shocking things in NXT's history: Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens had one match that went to a schmozz, and it happened almost immediately on the weekly program instead of in a Takeover epic.
  • And with the NYPD Emerald Society Pipes and Drums playing out the Scot, NxNE was born in earnest.  
  • Also, should an undefeated #1 contender, advocate for the people, and humbled returnee be getting that muted a reaction?  More about this later.
  • Besides the Big piano playing a prelude and some rolling fog to cover it once Glorious Domination started, it was a pretty standard Bobby Roo entrance.
  • It took a few minutes for Bobby to do something that could've had lasting damage, and even that was a too soon GDT attempt that Drew fended off.  Still, he was Very Proud of himself!
  • Drew controlled the opening third up to and including a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into the apron (the hardest part of the ring! Drink!), but Roode rebounded with three neckbreakers: one into the middle rope as McIntyre was re-entering the ring, a flying Blockbuster off of the apron, and a standard Roode Awakening after that.
  • In this match, Roode hit a nice-looking second rope dropkick for the first time in his NXTenure.  He should continue incorporating it for big matches.
  • McIntyre sold his neck after the trioka of neckbreakers very well, even when he had the upper hand.  His time in Full Sail hasn't had to have him in extended trouble like this match, so it was nice to see.
  • The Future Shock would be taken more seriously as a nearfall worthy move if it had finished off anyone on WWETV in the last five years.
  • Maybe no more Drew con hilos, since this landing looked particularly nasty.
  • Roode eats opponent's finisher but gets a foot on the ropes?  Check!  One GDT not enough to finish?  Dri... uh, check!
  • To his credit, Roode tried the double down chained GDT that had finished Hideo, but Drew headbutted free and won the belt very shortly thereafter.
  • At first it seemed emblematic of the entire last twenty-odd minutes of the show as the credits came up that the crowd was more interesting in something going on in the crowd than the fact Roode's nearly year-long reign of vaingloriousness had been brought to a decisive, clean end.
  • While it still was, it turned out Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly magically appearing on the apron were merely precursors for You Know Who.  Bonus points if this trioka is dubbed the Men of Dishonor.
  • At least this will end all of Roode's troubles...oh, wait....

Match of the Night: Ember Moon v. Asuka (c), NXT Women's World Championship - It seemed like she was going to do it, didn't she?

It was crazy how every single thing seemed to point to a title change leading into the Asuka/Moon rematch.  The injury, the chicanery for the champ to even survive the first time, and the fact she hadn't lost in two years and had been an undefeated champion verging on eighteen months.   Every single thing seemed aligned for the former Texas stalwart to hold the gold come match's end from her surprise attack at the bell to her going strike for strike up to and including hitting the Eclipse cleanly.

There was only one problem with that, and it's been the story since October 2015, these other women are damn talented professional wrestlers...but Asuka is history.

Not just creating it through her backfists and armbars, but living, breathing history that's surpassed every man short of Bruno and every woman short of Moolah, and if you add in the diceiness of the Fabulous one's longest reign then all that stands between her and the mountaintop regardless of gender is Mr. Sammartino.

It's why she was able to smile and wave at Bayley, Becky Lynch, and Sasha Banks while she was literally in the biggest fight of her Stateside life.   All the accolades those three of the Four have accumulated, all the titles they've held combined on the big brother live shows, and it seems to be known  at least by the Empress that the only reason they've been able to muster any of that traction is that she's been in Full Sail staying around to obliterate their old records and wreck shop on any woman foolish enough to get in her way.

Like Rakim in 1987, when you look back on NXT's history there's going to be a clear line of demarcation between everything that led up to Asuka and everything that came after her.   She's gotten to the point where by transitive property she's doing the work of four women and doing better than any man in Stamford canon post-Nixon.  And sure, she can be arrogant, and she might even bend a rule occasionally.

None of that deters from the fact that the next woman to beat her will be the first one.  She took a major ass-kicking, then as is her wont, she dished a bigger, harder, more vicious one right back.  And really at the end she didn't even need to cheat to get her umpteenth win, which will be the last one until the next one.

Poor Ember.

Poor, poor Ember.

What a damn fine wrestler...who once again ran into the brick wall of history.

Next!

Overall thoughts: Earlier in this recap, the question was posited of if someone who'd they'd built up and burnished as much as they had McIntyre upon his rearrival should be getting polite responses in a World Title match equivalent.

The short answer is no, and the long answer is fuck no.

They did every single trick possible to make DMC the sympathetic white hat leading in, up to and including having him get laid out in the show "three days" before the event they by their own admission think of as their WrestleMania, and he literally got the most tepid reaction out of any babyface on the show.  Hell, SAnitY might've gotten more love than he did. Adam Cole got a bigger reaction coming through the crowd, let alone when he picked up the belt after laying the new champ out. It was so loud not even their official videos could ignore it.   Even after they'd cleared the area, people don't give a damn that Drew's the new champion.  They chanted "3MB" louder than they did for him during and after the match.

This doesn't mean that the Drew McIntyre reboot is producing subpar matches or that they should scrap whatever plan they had and find a new champion as of Tuesday's tapings, BAY BAY.  But if you think the sort of nerdlord that inhabits Full Sail is going to boo the debuting, charismatic A.C. over the DMC they've had months to rally behind and are still sort of lukewarm about fully accepting, you might be on Marion Barry's weight loss plan.  Unless you got set up, of course.

There's no way any objective member of the NXT Universe, be it fan or press, newcomer or old-timer, should objectively review the card in completion and come to the conclusion the main event was the worst match on the card, on probably the biggest card of the year.  And it's pretty indefensible for such a milquetoast, paint-by-numbers main event, not a bad match, but one that triggered widespread apathy in the arena and in homes alike, to go on after such an excellent, excellent bout in Asuka/Moon II.

It's a shame that occurred, since up to the ending of the World Women's match it seemed like there was going to be another entrant in the "Greatest Takeover ever?" discussion that seems to bubble up seasonally.  The opener defibrillated Cien's formerly floundering time in Florida, the tag title change went over well and had the first ROH alums post-match of the evening that seemed to set up that division's story going forward.   (As much as I didn't enjoy the main, that post-match sets up that story as well as the online video showing Roody/Bobby is still going to be a contretemps going forward, so that would make three matches you could probably set in pencil for the next Takeover already.)  Hideo/Black was a highly entertaining and vicious bout that showed off the ever-ascendant Black and made Hideo's new found black hat something worth wearing even if he could've used a win like Cien to put some meat on the bone of it.  And the Women's match went beyond MOTN into low-level MOTY territory, as explained below.

All of that greatness made the main all the more baffling, as well as the decision to make it the main over a superior match with deeper history that still could've played out as a conclusive ending even if it didn't have the surprise factor the gents had.  {Asuka did it again, holy crap, is she going to die champion, etc.)  That being said, the Men of Dishonor going for the men's singles belts while we find some new meat to feed the Empress are clearly going to be the two main overhanging stories for Ranallo and McGuinness to dissect over the autumn, as well as the possibility of a third Dusty Classic.

The thing most of us thought would happen did.  It jolted a somewhat sleepy crowd and ended the third Brooklyn Takeover.  It seemed appropriate that Adam Cole pulled the trigger and overshadowed DMC's moment in the spotlight; that may turn out to just be the warning shot that presaged a fusillade, putting a bullet between the eyes of the main event scene in NXT as we knew it before their arrival.

It may turn out to be just the thing the old girl needed.

Jinder Mahal and RAW Kaiju: Storytelling in WWE

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The biggest victims of bad foundational storytelling in WWE
Photo Credit: WWE.com
As of this writing, Jinder Mahal is still WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Six months ago, he was Rusev-adjacent, rudderless otherwise, and looking to keep collecting a paycheck while crafting a physique that would look to bring the Mr. Olympia crown to the Indian Subcontinent. Regardless of where he was then, now he's entering month four of his reign, but it's been an abysmal reign to be quite blunt. It's not that Mahal himself hasn't acquitted himself well; I wouldn't exactly call him a landmark Champ either, but he's done alright. However, the story around him has been an utter failure, relying on two of the laziest, and in one case most repugnant, tropes WWE has in its arsenal: racism and inept management.

The racism portion is clear, and has been ever since Randy Orton decided he didn't like Mahal because his skin wasn't one of the two approved colors for Wrestling White Supremacy (white or a lovely shade of orange from too much tanning). Even heading into a match with a decidedly non-White Shinsuke Nakamura, the story called for Mahal to keep beating into the American crowd that he was not American and was therefore better than they were. Okay, I get it, Smackdown! Live is a haven for flag-wavin', Cloyd Rivers-followin', cheap beer-drinkin' sons-a-guns, which was one of the few directions that could give me a thirst for the return to ALL SHOOTS ALL THE TIME.

But the inept management thing is another longstanding WWE trope, and it has everything to do with how Mahal's underlings, the Singh Brothers, are utilized. I understand having a second to run interference is, and always will be, a thing in wrestling. It's a trick older than most common spots used today, and it's effective. However, for however many times a Bobby Heenan or even now, a Zelina Vega get involved in a match, it has an element of subtlety to it. They wait until the referee's back is turned or they distract in completely legal ways. How many title matches has Mahal had where the Singhs didn't physically get involved?

Last night did not buck the trend and again figured into the finish of the match. Time Nakamura spent kneeing each Singh Brother's face halfway to Kinshasa allowed Mahal to recover and wrangle his challenger for the Khallas for the win. It was an utterly deflating decision not just because the crowd desperately wanted to see Nakamura win the title, but because it was fifth verse, same as the first. At what point do Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon just either ban the Singhs from ringside or fire them for continually dragging the reputation of their top title through bog-level mud? The thing is, everyone should have seen it coming, and they probably did. Maybe Nakamura still would've gotten a roof-exploding pop had he won, but judging from reactions through the match, but continuing to tell lazy stories that shortchange the audience has a decided effect on the pops uncorked. Furthermore, whether direct or not, the onus gets put on non-player characters to do something, and it makes everyone involved feel cheapened. "But simple storytelling doesn't lend itself to big reactions," you say as if RAW's main event didn't wring it out to exhilarating results in the next fuckin' match.

Brock Lesnar, Roman Reigns, Samoa Joe, and especially Braun Strowman could have literally torn down Barclay's Center had they had five more minutes and a freer reign of the arena. The crowd went bonkers for everyone involved, sustained their heat levels, got it up further every time Strowman stared down Lesnar, and sustained itself for an incredibly enthusiastic finish. The story was nothing more than four absolute kaiju duking it out for the top prize in the Universe. Nothing in wrestling is simpler than that conceit, and yet they milked it for hoarse voices and ear-shattering cheers. They didn't have to do a racism against Pacific Islanders to get heat on either Joe or Reigns. Paul Heyman didn't have to knife anyone in order to keep the belt on his dude. It was basically the equivalent of putting Thanos, Galactus, Darkseid, and the Anti-Monitor against each other in a fight to the death, and the fans got fuckin crazy for it accordingly.

I've long since stopped waiting for WWE to book something suited to my tastes, because I realize I'm out of touch with what it presents. The wrestling and a la carte personalities do enough for me that I'm satisfied with my habits. While the company is not booking for me, I wonder for whom it's presenting a product sometimes. Is it for the so called "casual1" fans? I can't imagine continuing baiting them so that they buy WWE: Wrestling Match to finally see Nakamura win the title is a solid strategy. Critics talk about delaying the payoff, and I can't think of any instance where a promoter/booker did that and saw gratification. I mean, look at Bill Goldberg in 2003, or Tyler Black in Ring of Honor from the point where he first got hot in 2007 until the time the company put the strap on him. It can't be for Indian fans either, because their representative is a cheating snake who gets racism'd by every single other wrestler those fans have theoretically come to like in the absence of a wrestler like them. Fans theoretically like Randy Orton. Mahal comes up and wins the title like a totally dishonorable cad, and then Orton starts doing everything but calling him slurs. What does that do other than turn people off to both wrestlers? Whatever gains WWE is making in India can't be near the ceiling, which is where they could be if Mahal was presented as a classic babyface.

Sometimes, I look at what WWE does in all three major strata2 and wonder how so many multitudes can exist in the same company. It's easy to separate NXT, because apparently an entirely different team works on it than the main roster. However, both RAW and Smackdown are signed, sealed, and delivered by Vince McMahon himself. So how could RAW work relatively smoothly whereas Smackdown is such a dreg show? How could, in the past, Smackdown shine and RAW drown? It's amazing how far apart the shows can be, or sometimes how far apart the various stories can be. It has no unified vision, which for a product underneath the supervision of one person, is incredibly telling. Either way, if Paul Levesque can't wrangle writers into creating great stories, simple or complex, then you can wait for McMahon to drop dead all you want, and WWE's sterile, corporatized vision of wrestling will continue to churn out inconsistent content, tremendous for one main story and utterly dire for another.

1 - I hate that term, by the by. They're not all drop-in occasionally fans who only know the big stars. The palette is diverse, much like not every "smark" likes the same damn shit. To me, casual fans drop in at the Rumble, WrestleMania, and SummerSlam. Not everyone who has The Network is a smark, y'know.

2 - I hate that I can't get too much into the fourth layer, 205 Live, but man, one only has so much time in the week when you have kids.

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for August 21, 2017

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Strowman, best in the world at wrestling AND redecorating the ringside area
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Braun Strowman (Last... uh poll? [December 8, 2014]): not ranked) - What is a celestial body compared to the Monster Among Men throwing office chairs at other burly wrestler men and nearly rending throngs of spectators in twain merely with his roar alone? Strowman was also the only one in that main event last night not to fall victim to the tram car to Suplex City. If the year were 1998, fans would be toting "BROCK LESNAR FEARS BRAUN STROWMAN" signs to shows everywhere, even Broadway shows. Imagine someone bringing a wrestling sign to Hamilton or Kinky Boots. That, my friends, is the power of BRAUN.

2. The Moon (Last poll: not ranked) - The Moon is usually the lesser of the large celestial bodies visible in the sky, but today, it REIGNED SUPREME by blocking out the Sun and giving most of North America some much needed shade on this hot summer day.

3. The Sun (Last poll: not ranked) - Of course, the Sun could still be seen from behind the Moon, and boy, did it do a number on people who looked at the eclipse without proper protection. Fortunately, America's fearless leader showed the country on the ways to go... or not.

4. Alcoholic Gummi Bears (Last poll: not ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - On one hand, the infantilization of alcoholic beverages and adjacent products designed to get you drunk is getting somewhat out of control. On the other hand, good luck trying to get my wimpy ass to consume Fireball in any other way.

5. Asuka (Last poll: not ranked) - Not only did she kick out of The Eclipse (Ember Moon's finish, not the astronomical event of transit that happened today), she showed she could do her own ring announcing too. Snazzy. The bad news is she broke her dang collarbone but still finished the match. How herculean!

6. Tormund Giantsbane (Last poll: not ranked) - The curmudgeonly but lovable Freefolk gave the audience a scare last night, nearly succumbing to a Wight attack that nearly consumed the whole party. However, he made it out alive, praise be to the Lord of Light. Hopefully, he lives long enough to make grand warrior babies with Brienne of Tarth, presuming she reciprocates affections. I'm on that ship until the show ends, baybay!

7. Serena Williams (Last poll: not ranked) - She recently said that she had to work twice as hard as women like Maria Sharapova to get half as much, which is true. Of course, scumbag conservative rags took it as a brag that she was twice as good as Sharapova, as if bragging is a bad thing. As fate would turn out, she was wrong. She's about ten times as good as Sharapova.

8. Malcolm Jenkins (Last poll: not ranked) - While I applaud Chris Long for standing in solidarity with Jenkins, let the world not forget that his role as an ally is always in support of the oppressed and that folks should be throwing more support to Jenkins, Colin Kaepernick, Ron Brooks, Marshawn Lynch, and other Black athletes risking their careers to speak truth to power.

9. Alexa Bliss (Last poll: not ranked) - She may have lost the RAW Women's Championship to Sasha Banks last night, but I think she may have one-upped the entire main roster women's division by developing a clone army.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last poll: not ranked) - Folks, Oney Lorcan is here for porkin'.

The Vikings Invade Tennessee

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VIKINGS
Graphics via @SCITournament
So, the folks behind the Scenic City Trios tournament, taking place November 18 in the greater Chattanooga area, named a second trio for its inaugural shindig, and it's a doozy. Frank Wyatt, Alex Rudolph, and Jake Parnell, collectively known as the Viking War Party, will be bringing their wild array of violence and pillage to the best six-man tournament on American soil in this calendar year. This tournament will be a reunion of sorts for the Vikings; they haven't teamed together in 2017 yet due to some unfortunate injury luck and other things. It takes a big event to bring a family back together, y'know?

I've only seen the Vikings in action a handful of times, but they're one of the most frenetic teams I've ever seen. They'll bring a manic energy to the ring that I can only imagine is a perfect distillation of real vikings raiding coastal towns and bringing them to heel. I mean, it's been centuries since that was a thing anyway, and at least the Vikings won't be literally killing anyone. I hope.

Anyway, the crazy Nordic invaders will be joining The Carnies in this year's first ever run. Interestingly enough, the two teams have history with each other, but Kerry Awful and Nick Iggy have always been a man down in the past. Of course, Tripp Cassidy will give them ample backup in case the two teams meet during the proceedings. Also on the show, Gunner Miller will battle Cyrus the Destroyer in non-tournament exhibition action. You're gonna wanna be in Chattanooga for this tournament if you can make it. Even with only a quarter of the field announced, well, it's looking like it'll be a veritable hoot.

I Can't Believe I Have to Write about Beach Balls, But Here I Am

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Cesaro doing the lord's work
Screengrab via @WWECesaro
Normally, when WWE hits places where the crowds get a bit, ahem, rowdy and start doing things like chanting for Randy Savage, I can tune it out. Honestly, WWE does reap what it sows in those scenarios. Conditioning people not to care about certain wrestlers and sending them out in the blandest scenarios is clearly a fault of planning and direction, not the fans. Fans provide instant feedback, and whether they're "normal" crowds or not, they are a focus group that doesn't mince words and that influences other crowds to follow suit. I hate that WWE has co-opted these audiences and effectively nerfed them so that they can ignore what those fans have to say, and sadly, those fans have decided to play along, leading to even more chicanery that manifested itself both Sunday at SummerSlam and Monday on RAW, as fans took to throwing beach balls around

Bored chanting is one thing. It's theoretically an organic reaction of rejection to stimuli produced for consumption. One hopefully doesn't attend a wrestling show in hopes of being dissatisfied enough to chant for someone who isn't there. Bringing a beach ball, however, is a premeditated act. One just doesn't have a foreign object materialize in their hands from the power of boredom or dissatisfaction, at least in this universe, although that would be a curious mutant power to have. But I digress. You don't bring a beach ball to a show without intending on throwing it around. You're not expressing distaste; you're making it a nuisance for everyone in the arena.

You could say in response, "well, who cares about ruining Vince McMahon's corporate wrestling fuckfest?" The problem while I couldn't be assed to give a single fuck about what McMahon thinks, it's not him that the beach ball partiers really ruin things for. Why else would he and his rat-faced commandant Kevin Dunn have put focus on the beach ball last night during the main event? It further drives home the theory that these hardcore-fan filled crowds are just CAH-RAZY and aren't representative of "real" fans. They can be dismissed and ignored, especially since their displays of puerility and boredom came during matches featuring "their" favorites like Cesaro, Finn Bálor, and Samoa Joe.

Meanwhile, anytime someone says that those workers are underappreciated by the company they work for is now undermined by these actions. How can you expect a push for Cesaro or Bálor if you can't even care enough to pay attention during their matches, in Cesaro's case, a fairly important match. But what about guys like Sheamus, John Cena, Jason Jordan, and Roman Reigns? It's disrespectful as fuck to all those workers who bust their asses for your entertainment all because you decided you were going to make it about you. It's also disrespectful as fuck to the fans who also paid money, same as you, not to make a spectacle in the crowd but to watch the fucking show. I'm talking about people with children who want to watch the show and whose tastes aren't some contrarian shade of paying money to tell McMahon how much you hate his top stars. Joke's on you, because he gets your money just the same. Meanwhile, now you're willfully distracting people who want to watch.

Your pathetic attempts at protesting don't work, and furthermore, what you're protesting isn't even that important. WWE is pushing guys you don't like? Big fuckin' deal, you're the one continuing to prop the company up with your dollars and economic windfall into the areas it runs. Meanwhile, you're still there chanting USA during Jinder Mahal matches and accepting other sexist and otherwise bigoted tropes WWE shoves at you. All you do when you throw a beach ball is make the experience worse for people who want to be there and experience a live show for what it is. And the worst thing is that McMahon is using it all as ammunition against your complaints that he doesn't provide what you want. You're a willing mark in his game, and he's laughing at you. Maybe rethink your strategy and do something that doesn't involve fucking things up for everyone else for selfish and unimportant reasons.

Leftism and Wrestling: Direct Action Works

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Pretend Zack Sabre, Jr's opponent here is fascism, and you'll know the best way to deal with it
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Even though capitalists and conservatives run and populate the wrestling business, as an artform, it lends itself to leftist ideals. This series hopes to show wrestling fans why they should embrace the left, not just for the sport/art, but also for themselves.

Nazis and White supremacists and other scum and villainy have oozed to the surface of modern society. They've crept to the forefront because Donald Trump's "leadership" has allowed it to do so. Even though he's purged one White supremacist influence from his White House, Steve Bannon, and is thinking about banishing an actual former member of a Hungarian Nazi group in Sebastian Gorka, Trump's naked denial of blaming these warts on the ass of humanity for their ills and continuing to send them smoke signals that it's okay to operate in America continues unabated. Even as he shifts from Breitbart/InfoWars-informed hysterically fascist to a more neoconservative view of running the ship, he opened the tube of toothpaste and squeezed it all onto the counter. These asswipes are out in the open and they're not going back into hiding so easily.

So how do you get rid of a Nazi? How do you make them afraid to show their faces in public again? Well, some neoliberal slacktivists and Hollywood ignoramuses like Tina Fey suggest doing nothing, ignoring their fascist asses so that they go away when no one is there to pay any attention. That strategy is not only lazy, but it's ineffective because it assumes the problem is only contained to all-talk, no-action anime avatars who quote Mein Kampf behind anonymity on social media. Even if those were the only Nazis around, they're still online, harassing women and minorities, making their experience less than safe.

No, the real Nazis are the people parading in Charlottesville, VA with tiki torches at best and in full fatigues with semiautomatic guns at worst. They don't care if you stay at home or not. Hell, they're planning on it. Adolf Hitler himself knew that Nazi Germany only arose thanks to the apathy from the establishment during his rise to power. He said, "Only one danger could have jeopardised this development; if our adversaries had understood its principle... [and] had from the first day annihilated with the utmost brutality the nucleus of our new movement." Hitler knew that if he'd been met with resistance, real resistance, his party would've folded, or at the very least become a part of post-war German society and not the only component. Thankfully, antifa1, short for antifascists, realize this and showed up in Charlottesville. The actions of those rallying under this banner, several different groups and unaffiliated persons, saved lives. Their actions in Boston drowned out people rallying for "free speech" for hate groups.

Direct action against evil works, and honestly, I can't believe people in pro wrestling fandom don't see that. Wrestling is conflict that draws from reality, even if it's kayfabed into being nothing more than a stage show on, pardon the pun, steroids. However, the lessons it teaches are that you cannot put down a threat by doing less than what it's promising to do if left unabated. You have to meet that threat with equal or escalated force in order to put it down. Wrestling is built on that principle that direct action works, and wrestling is at its best when it draws from reality. Furthermore, in the process of meeting threats with direct action, in the best told stories, escalation into gimmick matches always is built around dealing with specific threats. Rampant interference leads to steel cages. Unbridled thirst for violence leads to street fights. I don't know what leads to a TLC match, but hey, no one ever accused WWE of being the company with the best told stories. But I digress.

The notion that evil can be met with logic and reason and a magic version of "peace" that doesn't reply on hitting people back when they first attack2 is laughable. Mainstream wrestling companies warn you not to try "this" at home, but honestly, while that's good advice for mimicking wrestling matches outside of a trained or safe3 setting, you should definitely adopt the lessons from wrestling stories to heart, with discretion, of course. I wouldn't say that acting like a modern WWE "babyface" is good because most good guys in WWE are awful people, thanks to Vince McMahon's antisocial and fash-leaning filter he puts on his stories. But you definitely need to hit violence with force. Direct action works to dissuade evil from growing, because bullies are greedy cowards who scatter when they get hit in the mouth by those who would rather not have their meager place in society swiped from them.

1 - Antifa is not a group. Antifa only means you're antifascist. You cannot have antifa movements without fascists, dummies.

2 - Believe me, these goons and ghouls hit first, they always do, even if it's under the cover of night with the protection of the authorities. Just because they've just been granted release to be out in the open doesn't mean they haven't been assaulting vulnerable peoples for decades, even centuries now.

3 - I do believe that some people can self-train to be a wrestler. It's just not the path I'd recommend or say has the best success rate, y'know?

Your Midweek Links: SummerSlam Reads and More

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Was Nakamura a bust all along?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Hump Day has arrived once again, and now that SummerSlam and the solar eclipse are over and the NFL season is still two weeks away, what are you going to do with yourself? I'll tell you what you're going to do with yourself. You're going to read some quality articles posted on the Internet, that's what. I give you these links for you to click and read, and you will read them. You hear me? YOU HEAR ME?

Hey, the 200th edition of the TweetBag dropped last week. Go check the landmark question and answer session right here. [The Wrestling Blog]

Butch had the 411 on Takeover: Brooklyn III. Go read his comprehensive review. [The Wrestling Blog]

Andy Tworischuk compared various SummerSlam competitors with beers here. [October]

Luke Norris took time out to rank, in order, all 13 matches that happened at SummerSlam [FanSided WWE]

Sopan Deb took time out to profile Jinder Mahal in advance of SummerSlam. [The New York Times]

Ian Williams wonders aloud whether or not Mahal's opponent Shinsuke Nakamura was worth all the hype he got when he first jumped from New Japan to WWE. [Waypoint on VICE]

Speaking of New Japan, Chris McManus can't wait to escape the afterglow of this year's G1 Climax to discuss whom he wants to see enter next year's big tournament. [Medium]

K. Sawyer Paul also has some thoughts about the G1 Climax here. [International Object]

NON-WRESTLING #1: Is it too early to crown Huddersfield Town the best team in the English Premier League? Of course not! [HOT SPROTS TAKES]

NON-WRESTLING #2: Susana Polo argues that when a superhero dies, they should stay dead. [Polygon]

Wrestling With Food

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Beast from the East and restaurateur?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's strange how random thoughts can evolve into major revelations. For example, yesterday, I saw Taz retweet a gif of him vs. Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW, and it made me wonder aloud whether he'd be cool on Twitter if he were alive today or if he'd be just another version of Vader, bitching and moaning about the younger wrestlers and various kids on his lawn. None of those replying reached a consensus, but @afraidomfighter did shine some light on a bit of trivia on the Beast from the East. He owned a hole in the wall eatery in the sleepy Northeast Pennsylvania borough known as Hamlin.

Bam Bam Bigelow's Deli got enough acclaim that it compelled a fan named "Bobby M" to make a visit. He wrote a review of the joint, and boy, he had some extremely nice things to say, both about the food and the guy running it. He said that Bigelow was "real cool, down to earth," and that he even encouraged him to take The Beast challenge, the item being a one-pound burger. The prize was only a picture with Bigelow to hang on the wall, but still, in this Man Vs. Food age, that challenge was before its time. The Beast wasn't the only large item on the menu. According to review, the portion sizes were befitting an establishment owned by one of the finest big man wrestlers ever. The deli is no longer open. Bigelow died in 2007.

Speaking of culinary personalities on Travel Channel, Anthony Bourdain announced Monday night that he'd signed with Titus Worldwide in a WWE Dot Com exclusive video. The tongue-in-cheek press conference featured backstage reporter and fashion goddess Charly Caruso holding court with other WWE interview personalities and oddly enough Rory Gulak in attendance. Bourdain is a well-known fanatic of mixed-martial arts, but who knew he'd deign himself to get them real wrestling minutes in. Either way, he'd be an excellent pro wrestling character if only to bring the grumpy old man character to America. Of course, if Neville ends up signing Guy Fieri to his kingdom, then you know the wrestling food wars are on, and they might get a little chippy. Anyway, you can watch the video below:

Learning to Live with Smackdown

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Corbin's new job
Photo Credit: WWE.com
This week on Smackdown I'm learning to live with:

The Ongoing Quest for an Open Challenge
AJ Styles was once again a United States Championship Open Challenge tease, though I guess I shouldn't blame him since Kevin Owens was the one who wouldn't let the show go on. At this point I'm torn between keeping my hopes alive and just letting the whole thing die. An open challenge could be a really fun thing for Smackdown, but this Styles/Owens thing just won't end. Next week I won't be able to watch the show, which means that that's DEFINITELY when we'll finally get an open challenge. You're welcome in advance.

Shane's Shenanigans
Another drawback of Owens and Styles continuing their feud is that every step of it has been marred by screwy finishes and the increasingly intrusive presence of Shane McMahon. This week was by far the worst, with McMahon agreeing to let Owens pick a guest referee and to let whatever decisions were made stand, only to run out, draw focus, and mess things up again. He wouldn't allow Baron Corbin's decision about a (questionable, admittedly) rope break call to stand despite insisting that the ref's decisions always stand, pulled Corbin right out of the ring, and then got even more angry when Corbin didn't see Owens land a low blow because McMahon was distracting him. Shane is the worst right now. I see we're still bent on heading towards an in-ring confrontation him and Owens, and that's a terrible decision.

Not Choosing Friendship
Part of me is glad Sami Zayn turned down Kevin Owens' offer to be the special guest referee because he's paid attention to his own life. Another part of me feels like friendship is always the best choice and I wish Zayn had done Owens a solid in memory of what they once had. Also, as Owens pointed out (because he can never help being just a bit of an asshole), Zayn had nothing else going on and he's accomplished pretty much nothing since coming to Smackdown. And as of the end of the show that was still true. That'll teach him to deny the power of friendship!

Baron Corbin's New Job
It's weird but I actually thought Corbin did a pretty good job as a referee! I hardly noticed he was there (ahem, Shane), and apart from claiming that Owens barely brushing the ropes was grounds for breaking a hold, he kept things fair. Also, though Baron Corbin is hardly a dude I want to see winning titles, his sullen teenage dirtbag persona is delightful to me. Of course his response to McMahon's unwanted criticism was to be like, “Ugh, I do what I want, you're not my real dad! FINE. I QUIT!” and throw his ref shirt at McMahon while stomping off. He should have flipped everyone off while skateboarding back up the ramp. I am here for more easily offended ref Baron Corbin.

The Actual Match
End-of-match nonsense aside, I still liked the main event match between Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. It's shame they haven't been able to just have a straightforward wrestling match. I feel like their chemistry has really been hindered. I have loved the characterization of Owens throughout their feud, though, with him stirring the pot and being able to manipulate Styles into giving him another match and McMahon into letting him choose his own ref. It's too bad there couldn't be a really satisfying payoff.

And props to Owens for looking utterly crushed after it was all over. That United States title doesn't mean half as much to Styles as it does to him!

A Glorious Debut
Bobby Roode showed up on Smackdown to interrupt Aiden English and it was fine? I don't know. I'm not super into Bobby Rude, amazing entrance song aside. I'm more than willing to be won over and I know a lot of people were happy to see him, so I'm not going to be a Negative Nancy about this. For me it was just a thing that happened. And any time that Aiden English gets, even losing, is good time.

The World's Greatest American Alpha Tag Team
Again, not much to say here except that I was happy to see Shelton Benjamin pop up and even happier that he's tagging with Chad Gable. I'm afraid poor Jason Jordan is getting the short end of this deal, but I have to think of Smackdown first, and it looks like we'll have yet another fun tag team to throw into the mix. I can't believe I have to miss their in-ring debut next week!

Not Getting Hype
Speaking of tag teams, because I know that WWE often does not want me to have nice things, for a while I was terrified that the Hype Bros were going to beat the Usos and put themselves in line for the Tag Team Championships. Luckily I was wrong and the Usos were able to destroy them. As it should be.

A Terrible Plan
So, like, does Daniel Bryan secretly hate Shinsuke Nakamura? I know the point of the two-on-one match against the Singh Brothers was that Nakamura could easily dispatch them, but you're really going to pit Nakamura against two guys at once, guys whose whole shtick is cheating, guys whose equally cheating boss would be right at ringside? I mean, yeah, it worked out well, but it could have gone terribly! Between this and being the one who recommended Shane McMahon as the referee at SummerSlam, where either Styles or Owens could have turned on him, I'm starting to think that Bryan is playing some sort of long game.

Not Co-Existing
Natalya and Carmella had to team up again now that the former is the Women's Champion and it went exactly as you might have expected. Again, does Daniel Bryan just hate everyone? Why would you make your champion team up with someone in whose best interest it is for the champ to lose? It was hard to focus on the tag match itself because everything was revolving around Carmella not tagging in, but I do always like seeing Naomi and Becky Lynch team up. I'd really like to see a story get started that's not “Will Carmella cash in this week???” or the Tamina and Lana plot that appears to be existing independently of everyone else.

Also, may I just say that Lana didn't get her multiple title shots because she was “ravishing.” She got them because she kept annoying the champion. Why don't you try that, Tamina?

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 201

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Wouldn't a Torres return be awesome?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:


  1. Eve Torres - Just like Dave Batista, Torres left WWE as soon as she got really good, both as a character and even as a worker. She has no incentive to come back, as she's pretty successful in the world of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and has gotten her foot in the door in Hollywood, but man, one more run of her posing over fallen opponents and even incorporating some of her MMA into matches would be fun as shit.
  2. Chris Masters - Masters is in Global Force Wrestling right now which is both good and a shame, good because he's still active and a shame because GFW is kind of a shithole. Either way, he was the MVP of Superstars before he left, and I think he could work some cool matches, especially against the new generation of hosses like, I don't know, BRAUUUN STROWMAN.
  3. Mike Knox - Speaking of Strowman, Knox may feel redundant with Monster Among Men around, but tell me you wouldn't lose your shit to see him cross-bodying people as the last gatekeeper before you got to Strowman on your mission chart.
  4. Kharma - Before any of you Twitter fuckos start rambling off about her age or mental disposition, she still could give some pop in the ring. Besides, WWE never got around to giving her a proper run in the ring. Hell, her only match was in the actual Royal Rumble. She has Bella Twins to mash, remember?
  5. Ted DiBiase, Jr. - Just to show all you nerds that the wrong guy from Legacy got the big push.


Five matches, no repeats on wrestlers or titles. Let's do it:

NXT World Championship: Neville (c) vs. Sami Zayn, NXT Takeover: R-Evolution - The problem here is that Takeovers are usually events stacked to the gills in title matches, but also that the NXT Title has rarely ever been a standout match on the show. The exception was at R-Evolution, when Neville and Zayn had the best NXT Championship match ever, but it also takes Zayn's matches against Cesaro at ArRIVAL and Shinsuke Nakamura at Takeover: Orlando off the table. Still, I'll take this match over other notch-below title matches like Bobby Roode/Hideo Itami or Kevin Owens/Finn Bálor that were good but not "put on a mixtape" good, even if that means two of the other greatest matches in NXT history get left out.

NXT World Women's Championship: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Bayley, NXT Takeover: Brooklyn - Conversely, how do you pick a Women's Championship match to put on this mixtape when the fairer sex has a far stronger resume? Banks' run with the title alone gives you the Fatal Fourway match where she won and an outstanding defense against Becky Lynch. However, the match that should've main evented the first Brooklyn show is on an excruciatingly short list of "best NXT matches" ever and "best WWE women's matches ever," so it makes the grade.

NXT World Tag Team Championships: The Revival (c) vs. #DIY, NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II - What Banks/Bayley the year before was to NXT women, this match was to NXT tags. It was the culmination of The Revival's bid to be called the best tag team in the world, but while most people thought American Alpha would be their best rivals, Johnny Wrestling and The Psycho Killer turned out to be more than game.

WWE United Kingdom Championship: Tyler Bate (c) vs. Pete Dunne, NXT Takeover: Chicago - While it was only my second favorite match on the show (showing you how goddamn loaded and incredible that Chicago card was), Bate and Dunne showed everyone what the British lads could do in the ring, and it was more than deserving of all the hype it received.

Jushin "Thunder" Liger vs. Tyler Breeze, NXT Takeover: Brooklyn - Liger in a WWE ring, including Breeze, one of NXT's unsung heroes, and the fact that this match was actually really goddamn good all figure into its inclusion in the tape.

Honestly, not including Zayn/Cesaro IV, which is for my money the best match in the company in the '10s that didn't involve Daniel Bryan or The Shield is painful, but it goes to show how big a sucking chest wound the main title is. It's not even that the matches have been bad per se, it's just they're almost always getting outshone by the women, the tags, the Brits or even the undercard. It also goes to show how integral Sami Zayn was to NXT as a brand. Neither he nor NXT has been the same since he left. I dunno. That's my list and I'm sticking to it though.

I'm not really all that familiar with the CWF scene, so I'll stab in the dark and say Cody Rhodes because God is real and hates us all.

As much as I love all things cow-related, I will always go back to the porterhouse. On one side of the bone, you got the most tender cut of meat known to man, the filet mignon. On the other, a juicy, fatty New York strip. All you need to do is salt and pepper it before grilling it, and it's golden. Of course, you can do so much more to it, and good lord, many high-end restaurants do. It's heavenly eating.

Very carefully.

Okay, so sarcasm aside, going from the best kind of steak to the frozen kinds you find in the dollar store is a bit jarring, but hey, you can probably still get some kind of use out of those tough cuts of meat. If you're going to eat it as a steak, you're going to want to jack up the flavor to compensate for the texture. Use of rubs, sauces, and other accouterments are going to be your friend. Otherwise, I'd suggest slowly braising or even grinding it up and making some kind of burger or meatloaf out of it. Hey, no one says you have to eat those steaks as steaks, right? Either way, protein is protein, and you have infinite means of cooking things at your disposal. Take advantage of them.

Why Wrestling Girls Needed to Break the Internet

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A hearty fuck to anyone who makes Viper or any woman associated with wrestling uncomfortable in her own skin
Photo via @missviper91
The year is 2017, and I can't believe people still have to stick up for women fans and wrestlers in this grand and wide thing so many people love. Women fans face sexual harassment, catcalls, gatekeeping, and other barriers to enjoying the show, ones that men like myself, fair of skin and attracted to the opposite sex do not have to overcome. What's worse, not only do some companies ignore these problems, they actively stoke alienation of those fans. Women do not see the same representation in most promotions that men do. Ironically enough, corporately owned WWE and Global Force Wrestling are the best at stocking a roster of women, but even those companies fail at truly featuring them. Meanwhile, Ring of Honor in the past has used sexual assault by the nominal babyface as plot-advancement and refused to eject people who threw things at female valets.

Speaking of female workers, they don't have it much better. Even now, in this "enlightened" age of women's wrestling spotlight, female wrestlers are still judged more harshly for their aesthetic than men are. Just look at Viper/Piper Niven receiving abuse for posting pictures of herself online. Hell, it's not even just anonymous trolls with impossible standards demeaning women who wrestle; Glenn Gilberti, the dipshit formerly known as Disco Inferno, has made it a point to criticize wrestlers for not twerking after matches as if promoting sexuality is not only the exclusive domain of women but a requirement for employment.

Misogynist stimuli could prompt one of two typical responses. Women could see this festering cesspit of sexism and abuse and stay home from live events and remain anonymous online, or they could, in the face of these grotesque manbabies loudly proclaim their fandom and say to the world that no amount of trolls will keep them from publicly enjoying professional wrestling as much as someone with no barriers to entry. Many women on Twitter took the second option and participated in the #WrestlingGirlsBreakTheInternet hashtag. All kinds of women posted pictures of them with wrestlers, in wrestling t-shirts, with memorabilia, or at wrestling shows. They came out in force and did something positive for themselves and their friends and peers.

The response to it from those same trolls and losers the collective female populace of Wrestling Twitter was pushing back against justified why it was necessary for the hashtag to exist. Whether it be overtly terrible things like slut-shaming or negging women's appearance to more innocuous-seeming "Why do you need a hashtag to be proud of your fandom?" questions that are the hallmark of polite sexists, the leeches and goons of the wrestling world decided they weren't having any of these intrepid women showing their love for the art. Those small-minded people are the ones that need to be shut up the most, whose existence as supposed keepers of the sacred wrestling fan experience is threatened by a more inclusive fandom. Nevermind that the very idea of hierarchy among fans or the need to throw barriers at people is asinine. These people will stop at nothing to make sure they and they alone are considered the scene and reap that influence for, I don't know, Twitter followers? Wrestlers liking them?

A war doesn't get won so easily. People who want to fight for their rights need to fire the shots in order to gain acceptance. It's a shitty circumstance to have to deal with, but at the same time, no fan, female, non-binary, or otherwise, ever asks to be placed into a position of scorn or scrutiny based on demographic. The wrestling girls breaking the Internet was a necessary first step to make this thing a more hospitable thing for them to consume and partake in just like anyone else.

However, they need help. That's where people like you and me come in. The wrestling girls have broken the Internet, and now they need help charging through the breach. If you care for a wrestling arena that's filled with more than just White dudes who may or may not secretly be Nazis, then you gotta help out. Helping out doesn't mean taking center stage or putting on a show for Facebook and Twitter likes or public rounds of applause. It means boosting signals of women online. It means stepping in at shows if you see harassment. It means supporting companies that foster safe environments and ignoring companies that continue to perpetuate the abuse. It means doing all that anonymously or discreetly rather than to an audience or in a way that brings applause to you rather than merely mitigating an uncomfortable situation.

Wrestling girls breaking the Internet is a great first step, and wrestling spaces, both online and at shows, should remain inclusive. All must foster environments where women aren't meant to feel like eye candy or made to answer inane trivia or face threatening presence. Basically, women need to be treated not as some kind of unicorn, but as a person, because they are people. Furthermore, female wrestlers need to be treated with the same respect expected of male competitors, and neither male nor female (nor non-binary) competitors should be mistreated or slurred. The fact that women had to make a hashtag to feel like full members of a community is fucking pathetic, but at least now, they have a starting point. It is up to everyone in the community to make sure their progress continues unabated.

Sexy Star Injured Rosemary Because *shrug*

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Rosemary, the latest victim of Sexy Star's unprofessionalism
Photo Credit: Lee South/ImpactWrestling.com
While everyone else was waiting for their pay-per-view providers to stop pussyfooting about and actually put Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor in the ring, a select group of wrestling fans looking for an alternative watched TripleMania XXV, Lucha Libre AAA Worldwide's flagship event, free of charge on Twitch TV. While its main competition, Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre, makes headlines for in-ring excellence, AAA has mostly made headlines for less than scrupulous reasons. Whether it be welching on pay, staging elaborate worked-shoot angles playing on backstage reputations, or attempting to sue former talents like Penta El Zero M and Rey Fénix for using their more famous names, the company has become more infamous than famous lately. But hey, TripleMania was free, and 75,000 people watched it on the streaming service. That's good! They also saw the following.



That's bad!

In case the video is a little confusing, the one applying the armbar is Sexy Star, and the one tapping out is Rosemary, formerly known as Courtney Rush. Why would Sexy Star continue applying an armbar to a defeated opponent when she was the tecnico in the match? Well, according to PW Spyware, which I will not link because I care about your computer, she was legitimately shooting. The match was a tornado-rules four way match for the AAA Reine de Reinas Championship, and it also featured Ayako Hamada and Lady Shani. Apparently, Sexy Star got a bit of an ego about her as she's wont to do, forgot it was a work, and threw legit bombs at Shani busting her open. Hamada also had complaints of her taking liberties, and as the coup de grace, Star turned a worked armbar into a MMA-style shoot on Rosemary, causing a dislocation in the elbow and/or shoulder.

Please allow me to repeat; because Sexy Star decided to break trust for reasons unbeknownst to anyone else in the world, Rosemary legitimately got injured. The amount of things wrong with that scenario is staggering. For one, the cardinal rule of pro wrestling is that you protect your opponent. It is not a fight; it is a show. The fact that Rosemary will lose dates for this, dates that she probably needs to supplement her Global Force Wrestling pay. The mindless selfishness of one wrestler has impacted the health and livelihood of another. It's unconscionable. It's not as severe as the Yoshiko/Act Yasukawa incident, but it's the same in principle.

For that reason, no one should book Sexy Star again, or at least for a period of time where she can get this wild unprofessional streak under control. Of course, to get her to accept it would mean she'd have to have a moderate ego to appeal to, and since she's bragging to everyone that it was a work, well, she claims no responsibility. She'd need a strong administration to come down on her, which AAA doesn't have. As for others to that end, judging by the reactions of wrestlers across the indies and in GFW, she doesn't have to worry about getting bookings in reputable promotions north of the border.

This incident should also serve as a black mark for AAA, which again proves that it stands above and beyond all other promotions regardless of nationality in terms of carny shit, to put it lightly. It probably won't, but it should. In the meantime, Rosemary is left hurt for reasons I can't understand. Honestly, if AAA were a well-run company, it'd have ceased dealing with Sexy Star a long time ago, but of course, it's not. Just another example of why wrestling will always be mired in its low social status because of the people who run it.

I mean, this incident should be a slam dunk. It's as high-profile a lucha libre event as one is going to get, and one wrestler blatantly attempted injure everyone in the match, Hamada being the only one coming out unscathed. Then again, even though it's a different culture and country, Yoshiko is still getting booked. WWE continued not only to employ people who took liberties, but they were kept around as backstage enforcers. JBL is fucking Vince McMahon's mouthpiece in commentary for Christ's sake. Judging by Lucha Underground producer Chris DeJoseph, not only is AAA probably going to keep booking her, but LU will keep her around if it reaches season four.

Yes, stories often are multifaceted and have more than just what the public sees, but conversely, what could Rosemary have done to warrant having trust broken in the ring? It's victim-blaming, and it would be akin to saying Yasukawa deserved having her career ended for bullshit pride reasons or Mass Transit deserved to be bled out like kosher livestock because, uh, whatever reasons New Jack had for sticking him.

Wrestling's carny past actively keeps it from moving into the future. Fans like you and I want this industry to be a leader in all things social, but the people inside of it still want to rationalize shit like this because at best it has some kind of unwritten moral code of conduct between workers and at worst, it can be used to make money. Making money is why Combat Zone Wrestling and Game Changer Wrestling continue to book a Nazi like SHLAK. It's why Sami Callihan can speak out on this shit with such great respect and even rise to get the CZW booker's pencil despite having awful accusations of domestic violence in his past, or why people will look past anyone with that on their ledger.

Wrestling will not move forward until fans, wrestlers, and promoters alike realize some things are more important than money. Safety is and always will be one of them, because if not, then why even work the matches in the first place? Point blank, even though Sexy Star is a symptom and not a cause, she still puts wrestling's horse's ass-ugly warts on display at the worst possible time. If she can't be dealt with accordingly then why bother? That means she doesn't get booked, not that she should get reciprocated with the shooting in the ring either. An eye for an eye leaves the entire world blind, you know.

Suplex All White Supremacists

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SUPLEX CITY, BITCH
Screengrab via @TariqNasheed
I've been writing for months now about how wrestling and leftist economic and social concerns go hand-in-hand together, but a young lad at a gas station somewhere in this great land decided he was going to put two and two together the hard way and the most appropriate way if you ask me. Antiracism advocate Tariq Nasheed caught the altercation on his cellphone, and he described the leadup to it as a "suspected" White supremacist stepping to a young, Black man at said gas station. He caught the actual fight, and hoo boy, grab a handful of popcorn, because this shit is good.

By the Ghost of "Dr. Death" Steve Williams himself, that was about as form-perfect a backdrop driver as you can get, done with absolutely no cooperation and performed on a candidate who was more than deserving of such displays of strong-style social justice. Of course, it should be noted that the suplex hero here appears to work out and thus has the body strength to pull it off. If you encounter a fascist bold enough to step to you or a disadvantaged person, play to your own strengths. But if you can suplex a White supremacist, by all means do it. They more than deserve to get dropped on their heads one by one.
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