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Happy Halloween! Wrestlers in Costumes!

October 31, 2017, 6:00 am
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A whole new wooooooooorrrrrlllllld
Screen Grab via Pro Wrestling Sheet
Hey, happy Halloween everyone! Today is the day on the calendar when children dress up to solicit free candy from their neighbors and when adults dress up to engage in a variation on their neverending mating ritual. Halloween should be a holiday special to wrestling fans just because wrestling promotions at their best are year-round celebrations of at least the costume format. Even the most straitlaced wrestlers still basically dress up in their underwear and play a character that is way more serious than they really are. So when wrestlers dress up in character in costume, it's almost like meta Halloween. As always, wrestlers are happy to oblige, especially in this era of meta storytelling.

The Bullet Club got the party started at New Japan Pro Wrestling's Power Struggle show over the weekend. Kenny Omega, Marty Scurll, and Chase Owens recreated the main trio from Disney's Aladdin. Scurll dressed up in the titular role, Owens got all genie'd up, and Omega totally rocked the Princess Jasmine outfit.

However, they weren't the only ones to get in on the act. WWE had its own costume contest, featuring Sasha Banks, The Miz, and Drew Gulak. I could describe it for you, but watch it yourself, okay? WARNING, it's a bit not safe for work, because you can definitely see the outline of Gulak's, uh, Legal Eagle there...



It shouldn't come as a surprise that Gulak worked it as The Boss here. People who had no clue what they were looking for in evaluating wrestlers always had the knock on him that he had no personality, but that's always been bogus. Banks and Miz were decent too, but yeah, Gulak was the man here. Either way though, I hope all of you have a safe and happy Halloween, and may you not be visited by the ghost of Freddie Blassie tonight. Why not? I've said too much...
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Leftism and Wrestling: Watch Your Dogpiles

October 31, 2017, 8:00 am
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What he tweeted was gross, but man, that dogpile would be better saved for management
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Even though capitalists and conservatives run and populate the wrestling business, as an artform, it lends itself to leftist ideals. This series hopes to show wrestling fans why they should embrace the left, not just for the sport/art, but also for themselves.

Emma was released on Sunday, and the overwhelming reaction was shock, disbelief, hope for a better indie run, and just general disappointment at WWE squandering yet another talented wrestler. However, one wrestler had a, well, different reaction to the whole thing:

Of course, that's a screenshot and not an embedded tweet because Rush deleted the offending missive after he got dogpiled by nearly every wrestler. Some of them were milquetoast burns, but others got pretty problematic. Jack Gallagher took the opportunity to question whether Rush knew English, and while nothing was on the surface wrong with how Bray Wyatt admonished him, it bears noticing that he's currently going through a divorce of his own fault where his now ex-wife is hanging him out to dry. Of course, I'm not just talking about in WWE, but outside of the company too, even people like Tessa Blanchard, who allegedly bullied a wrestler out of STARDOM, Darius Carter, who nearly killed Pete Dunne, and LuFisto, who without context isn't bad, but who decided to take the opportunity to slam Rush and wonder why he has a job in WWE and Jessicka Havok, who used racial slurs on Twitter that were uncovered during her tryout, didn't. It's been a rough couple of days so far for NXT's newest televised wrestler, not entirely undeserved. Rush also has garnered a reputation for unprofessionalism, even before getting to WWE. So he'd already not made a lot of friends in the industry.

That being said, it was a dumb tweet trying to get Asuka over in kayfabe. It was tasteless, and honestly, given Emma's reaction, insanely thoughtless. However, Rush is only 22 years old, old enough to garner attention and work in the real world, but young enough to plausibly claim the immaturity card. William Regal probably had the best reaction, but honestly, Twitter dumbassery happens every day. I mean, no one's taken Bubba Ray Dudley's Twitter account from him, and he can't keep from embarrassing himself. It's the dogpiling, and the intensity of it in this case. One might think Rush murdered his wife and kid and then skirted all responsibility by killing himself. But all he did was make a shitty tweet. The truth is nothing brings out wrestler outrage like an easy target doing something undeniably idiotic. You saw it with the reaction to Jared Followill.

To say it's a wrestling only thing though is disingenuous. People everyday find easy targets and wail on them. The major problems either get lip service, or they're tacitly accepted. The rage that people feel for their situations at the hands of the elites manifests by punching down at targets they can abuse without recourse. When the people doing the real oppressing have resources to enact violent retribution against any kind of difference in opinion, it's easy to see why people would rather swallow frustrations with the system and instead lash out online, whether it be yelling ineffectually at politicians or unfortunately blaming minority groups unjustly. Why risk retaliation from power that is virtually Teflon when you can yell epithets at groups already lower than you on the food chain?

But, as intrepid Twitter user @Doc_Sneeze pointed out, what if the disaffected hordes all got together and punched up instead? Wrestlers, or any group of minorities, workers, or whomever, getting together to gang up on the boss, and I don't mean Sasha Banks, would produce so much more good for workers. Yes, the power castes have more resources, but resources cannot overcome manpower. In wrestling specifically, where labor IS the product, a mass uprising of wrestlers to get things like unionization, better pay, health insurance, or even something as piddling as better creative would make management shit itself.

The not-so-secret secret in wrestling is that its proletariat skews more pro-capital than seemingly any other industry. The problem is that wrestlers stand to gain the most through unionization and collective bargaining because without them, wrestling doesn't exist. You can automate most other industries, but even if you could get machines to wrestle, the cost of creating artificial intelligence to put in a cyborg/robot to wrestle would not only be astronomical even for the minimum two that you'd have to redress for a full card, but I don't need to remind you about the dangers of creating AI that might end up gaining understanding of self and well everyone's at least heard of the Terminator franchise.

But hey, they'd rather rip on the young kid with lack of seasoning and a cocksure head on his shoulders, like every single one of the people criticizing him had the arcane locker room protocols of wrestling programmed in their heads when they went got to their schools for training. To be honest, I'd be surprised if half of them knew how to put their pants on in the morning without someone needing to give them cues. Rush tweeted something gross and stupid, sure. Emma has every right to be mad at him, and his non-apology that he posted felt even more insulting. But before jumping on the pile, one needs to know whether their input will be constructive or just white noise at best and destructive to a young man's career at worst. Destroying Rush is just sending another minority out of a potentially lucrative position and back into an unknown quagmire. But mounting undeniable pressure against Vince McMahon or Gabe Sapolsky or any other promoter who thinks they can bully the roster is more than worth it. Dogpiles aren't necessarily bad at all, but you just gotta know where to use them. Make sure they're breaking down the wall, not suffocating one of your own.
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Tetsuya Naito Is Touring America

October 31, 2017, 10:00 am
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The Midwest is about to get a bit INGOBERNABLE
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Tetsuya Naito's star has risen meteorically over the last two years. New Japan Pro Wrestling was already grooming him to be a main player, but he didn't really find footing until he joined up with LOS INGOBERNABLES on one of his excursions into Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre. Now, he's one of wrestling's hottest properties, and the Midwest indies are taking full advantage of it. Naito will be doing a three-promotion tour in February, one where he could be representing NJPW as the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion. He'll take on Kazuchika Okada for the strap at WrestleKingdom 12 on January 4 by virtue of his win in this year's G1 Climax.

Natio will begin his tour in Dayton on February 16 for Pro Wrestling Revolver. Normally, Revolver is based in Iowa, but it does shows in Ohio from time to time. The promotion didn't announce Naito's opponent, but it should be a hoot regardless. Next up, AAW, Chicago's top indie, announced him for February 17. He'll be taking on Sami Callihan. Finally, on February 18, Naito will be hitting up fellow NJPW wrestler Michael Elgin's Glory Pro Wrestling's one year anniversary show in Alton, IL (St. Louis). He'll be taking on none other than AR Fox, the reckless high-flyer who has been an American indie and Lucha Underground staple for a good bit of time now. Elgin was actually the first to announce Naito a few weeks ago, and he arguably has the best match on paper, pending whomever Revolver puts across the ring.

Naito has made several trips to the States before, but it's mostly been for Ring of Honor and for the flagship company. Seeing him in an indie setting will be a sight to behold. Most experts seem to predict that this tour is a spoiler for WrestleKingdom, but honestly, that assumes too much foreknowledge of how head booker Gedo crafts his stories vis a vis outside dates. I mean, Okada is wrestling in Melbourne in November as IWGP Champion against some dude named Slex. I doubt holding the belt precludes outside touring. Anyway, if you're in any one of those three locales, run, don't walk, and buy tickets as soon as they hit the market, ESPECIALLY if you're in the St. Louis area. Naito/Fox is gonna baaaaang.
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Wrestling Six Packs: Wrestlers Who'd Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

October 31, 2017, 12:00 pm
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He's a zombie here, but Strowman would be the most effective zombie hunter I can think of
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Zombieism isn't real, at least not yet. However, it doesn't stop people from imagining a future when undead or half-dead beings roam the earth, looking for brains and destruction. Zombies dominate pop culture: movies, television, even music. WWE even got in on the act this year by doing a zombie photoshoot with its wrestlers. But which wrestlers and wrestling personalities best survive a zombie apocalypse? I have a few suggestions in this week's six pack...

1. Braun Strowman - In addition to being huge and fearsome, Strowman clearly has supernatural powers. He's been crushed in the back of an ambulance and walked away with a slight limp and some blood. He was compacted in the back of a trash truck, and it only granted him the powers of Trash Truck Warp Zoning, which is only slightly more disgusting than Mario and Luigi using sewer pipes to get around the Mushroom Kingdom. In addition to all this, his 40 yard dash time, as referenced last night on RAW, probably would get him at least a second round grade among all defensive or offensive linemen in the NFL Draft. Sure, zombies might be able to crowd around him, but no way they're infecting him before he throws them off about 100 yards into the distance. Strowman would probably have ended the conflict North of the Wall in Game of Thrones within the first episode. I want him on my side if the zombies start to proliferate.

2. Kane - While his brother Undertaker is reputed to be literally dead and thus immune to zombie powers, Kane is decidedly either still alive or even better, a supernatural demonic being who is also super into Austrian economics. Well, that last part isn't exactly germane to the conversation. Anyway, Kane not only may not be sympathetic to zombies, but he's got the most effective way of dealing with them — fire. Then again, WWE cut back on pyro to save costs, so would Kane be rendered ineffective? Nonsense! He's the Libertarian Demon of Knox County, TN! He can conjure fire just fine.

3. New Jack - Fire is one way of dealing with zombies, but blunt force trauma is another. New Jack specializes in that, whether it be his shopping cart full of plunder or his blatant disregard for his opponent's safety. New Jack shooting on poor saps is not at all a laughing matter, but that kind of ruthlessness might be needed when the zombies take over.

4. Fray Tormenta - Yet another way to deal with the undead is holiness, and who better than a priest-slash-luchador? Tormenta is a legitimately ordained priest who not only gimmicked his priesthood for the ring, but kept it secret for so many years. He's a legit badass and one who can shove his blessed foot up so many zombie's asses that he'd be an essential ally in the war against the army of the dead, even as he progresses into his 70s. Besides, luchadores never really retire. They just keep fighting and fighting until one day, they're at their funeral.

5. Drago - Speaking of luchadores, Drago in Lucha Underground canon is an actual dragon. Game of Thrones has taught us nothing except that dragons are really, really effective at fighting zombies, just as long as you keep them away from ice golems who can throw spears really far and with great accuracy. In this case, unless Glacier falls to the undead side of things, Drago seems to be pretty much a safe bet to survive and thrive in a post-zombie world.

6. Shelly Martinez - Martinez is undead, but a different kind. See, she's a vampire, which means hey, zombies can't really hurt her. No one's really ever heard of a zombie vampire anyway, right? RIGHT? Anyway, she might even be able to slip into the zombies' ranks and attack from within. She'd be a valuable asset in the coming wars.
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Your Midweek Links: Gay Wrestlers and Emma Fallout

November 1, 2017, 6:00 am
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Somewhat competing takes on the Empress of Tomorrow this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Hey, it's the first day of November, and you know what that means. Either your kids collected more candy than you know what to do with, or you're about to go buy more half-price candy than you know what to do with. Oh yeah, and it's also Wednesday, which means the weekend is just two short days away. Still, you can't wait that long. You need to pass the time. Well friends, I have the cure for your ennui — links! Read all the articles below to help you get to that weekend faster and to be edified in the process. DO IT.

Emma got released and Lio Rush tweeted something stupid about it. I wrote about why the dogpile on him was not only excessive, but better served to be saved for Vince McMahon and other figures in wrestling capital. [The Wrestling Blog]

Some jerk compared intergender wrestling to domestic violence again, and I explain why that's heinous thinking and harms victims more than any man vs. woman match ever could. [The Wrestling Blog]

Ian Williams chimes in on how WWE didn't give Emma a fair shake whatsoever and touches on how the company kinda fumbled on Asuka's debut on RAW. [VICE Sports]

Nick Piccone, however, reminds everyone that Asuka still isn't ruined and will eventually be fine on the RAW roster. [Medium]

K. Thor Jensen tells the forgotten tale of the Dupree Brothers, bikers in the ring and lovers behind the curtain, two of the first gay icons in pro wrestling history. [With SpanRdex]

The JFK Files were finally opened, and David Bixenspan pored through them to find a story about a deranged pro wrestling fan who made his way into them by falsely claiming he paid Lee Harvey Oswald to pull the trigger. [Deadspin]

Korakuen Hall is one of Japan's most sacred arenas, and JJ McGee writes a love letter to it. [The Spectacle of Excess]

Jinder Mahal and Brock Lesnar are set to co-headline Survivor Series, and Joe Burgett argues that John Cena should be the guest referee. [FanSided WWE]

NON-WRESTLING #1: Yeah, Thor is already a Marvel Cinematic property, but the one on screen now (and in theaters on Friday) is the boring male version. Elle Collins has their take on the female Goddess of Thunder and who might be worthy to play the Jane Foster version. [SyFy Wire]

NON-WRESTLING #2: Rovitz decided he was going to subject himself to the horrors of Arby's deep fried turkey sandwich, and to his surprise? It wasn't bad. [HOT SPROTS TAKES]
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Sami Zayn Makes Me Stay

November 1, 2017, 8:00 am
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A good reason to stay on the Network
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you'll permit me to do my own version of our fearless editor TH's "Leftism in Wrestling," I need to tell you about my cognitive dissonance regarding WWE. Depending on which news source you believe, Vince and Linda McMahon donated somewhere between $5 to $7 million to Donald Trump's presidential campaign. You know, the campaign that resulted in our country electing an oatmeal-brained toddler to the highest office in America. That one! Their donation, apparently Trump's largest donation of all, was rewarded when Linda was appointed as the Administrator of the U.S. Small Business Administration.

As if the past actions of the McMahon family weren't enough to be queasy about our WWE fandom, this action was the grossest of all. However you want to parse their intentions, there is no denying that the McMahons played a huge part in allowing Trump to become the President. And I guess if you're one of those people who likes Trump, then you're okay with this, but it's safe to say that most people reading a blog like this probably don't fall into that group. Most of us would agree that propping up a racist, sexist, xenophobic, possibly nuclear homicidal madman into the Presidency is a decidedly not good thing.

What I've struggled with in the year since Trump was elected is my continuing financial support of WWE, in the form of my $9.99/month paid to the WWE Network. There have been several instances whereupon seeing a particularly enraging Trump-related headline, I've said to myself, "That's it! I'm done giving WWE my money. Until they stop giving financial support and tacit approval of this scumbag, I'm cancelling the Network."

And then, the end of the month rolls around, and I need to catch up on NXT episodes, and the next WWE pay-per-view has an intriguing match, and Prime Time Wrestling is so great... and I don't cancel it. And I keep on giving WWE my money. I know I'm a hypocrite. I know I'm spineless and I'm not standing my ground. But when I almost cancel the Network, I think to myself, "But poor Sami Zayn... he deserves my money. I like him a lot."

I keep the Network because there are so many likable performers in WWE, and I want them to be successful. I know not a ton of money from Network subscriptions goes to them, but it affects the overall big picture for them. And I want to keep watching the growth and progress of these performers, especially that kind gentleman Sami Zayn.

Zayn was the most recent guest on E and C's Pod of Awesomeness, the relatively new podcast from Edge and Christian (and it's a pretty solid show, y'all should check it out). As expected, Zayn was his usual charming, self-deprecating, extremely smart and analytical self. He had just gotten back to his hotel room from a WWE show in Argentina, and though he was no doubt exhausted, he gave Edge and Christian over an hour of his time and deep thought.

There were many highlights to the conversation, but my very favorite came when they were discussing last year's NXT Takeover match between Zayn and the debuting Shinsuke Nakamura. Zayn says when you see him kneeling in the corner and visibly smiling during Nakamura's entrance, that was a smile of genuine glee. He had known that the match they laid out was exquisitely composed, but once he got out in front of that crowd and saw how jacked up they were for Nakamura, he knew that they were about to do something truly special for those people. He knew that they were about to create as magical of a pro wrestling match as two performers can create. And creating such magic is why he got into this business and why he still feels motivated to do it.

How can I turn my back on watching and supporting that guy? It feels impossible. And yet, why does WWE have to be a rotten corporation run by disingenuous Trump supporters (and employees)? Why does life have to be so confusing and horrific?

Oh right, because Donald Trump is our President, so everything is bad. I forgot.
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The Nakamura Banality

November 1, 2017, 11:10 am
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Nakamura is just another guy, and that's a symptom of Smackdown's worst problem
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Shinsuke Nakamura has become something of a hot take battlefield in the wrestling world. He came over from New Japan Pro Wrestling with great fanfare, spent way too much time in NXT, and now has become just another guy on Smackdown. NJPW didn't have a problem keeping his aura special, but the structure of its booking allows it to more easily protect the mystique of more of its wrestlers. Nakamura didn't wrestle singles matches on every show, and he didn't have to do character work week in and week out. WWE is a different beast, but that's not an excuse for the fact that the only guys who feel like stars right now are all on RAW and all are in a main event stratum that few can dare to touch. The fact that The Miz feels on the edge of that stratum through sheer force of his own will is an anomalous miracle, but that's another topic for another post altogether.

That being said, Nakamura has found a niche that is drastically different from the bill of goods presented at his signing. Since moving up to Smackdown and being asked to wrestle almost every week, he's become one of the more reliable week-to-week television workers on the roster. It's both a change in his grand, sweeping epic reputation from his biggest matches, but also a pleasant surprise from the "lazy Nakamura" reputation he gained in, well, nearly every match in NXT after the Zayn debut. Starting with the Austin Aries match, Nakamura didn't exactly light the world on fire in NXT, only really reaching a consensus positive opinion with the Bobby Roode matches in San Antonio and Orlando. It didn't exactly bode well for him on Smackdown, especially since his reputation for turning it on only for the biggest matches preceded him. Many longtime fans of NJPW noted his seeming lack of effort reappearing in NXT.

However, it would appear that the grind has disabused Nakamura of that habit. He's become one of the most solid workers on the Smackdown roster. He's really gotten into a groove with results ranging from excellent (his match with John Cena to determine Jinder Mahal's challenger at SummerSlam) to solid (last night's match vs. Kevin Owens). Additionally, he's gotten the best matches out of Mahal during his title reign, which is no small feat. Mahal is raw in the ring, to say it in the most complimentary way possible. Nakamura was tasked with something nearly impossible, and he passed well enough.

That being said, that bill of goods promised a spectacular worker, and outside of the Zayn match at Takeover: Dallas, Nakamura hasn't delivered. One could speculate that the only person in WWE who really knows how modern NJPW really works is AJ Styles, and the two haven't wrestled in this company yet. However, as with most that's wrong with modern WWE, the blame can easily rest on WWE's booking patterns. When Nakamura burst onto the scene in NXT, he was special, and the half-developmental, half-prestige arm of the company preserved it enough so that when he showed up on Smackdown, it was still a huge deal. Over the last seven months, WWE, through overuse of his talents in the ring and booking that missed the entire point of who Nakamura was supposed to be, turned him into just another guy. One could say that the only important person on Smackdown is Shane McMahon, but honestly, is a dude that barely shows up week to week and just appears to put someone over really special? Smackdown, whether by design or poor booking, is a land of parity, and Nakamura has probably suffered the most from it.

So while Shinsuke Nakamura turning into a solid hand on a decent roster might be laudable without context, it feels like vindication for everyone who said WWE ruined him. When you're the biggest swinging dick in New Japan Pro Wrestling, becoming a popular lump of flesh on a faceless roster isn't enough, and to say it's his fault is disingenuous given not even the boss' son really stands out. I mean, you know that Nakamura, McMahon, Kevin Owens, Styles, Sami Zayn, and Randy Orton are supposed to be important, but do they pop off the screen like their RAW counterparts Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, Samoa Joe, The Miz, and ESPECIALLY Braun Strowman? It's hard to say yes. That's not a Nakamura-only problem, but with a guy with his unique set of talents and his special aura, it's the biggest shame.
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Pro Wrestling SKOOPZ on The Wrestling Blog: Vol. 3, Issue 10

November 1, 2017, 1:00 pm
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ALL THE SCOOPS ON EMMA's RELEASE
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Well hello there, fellow humanoid beings, it is I, HORB FLERBMINBER, your NUMBER ONE source for news, rumors, gossip, and unfortunately, your number two source for toenail fungus removal. WAY TO HORN IN ON MY TERRITORY, RYAN SATIN. Anyway, I have more SCOOPS than Baskin-Robbins. I have more NEWS than Walter Cronkite. I have more GOSSIP than Nick Denton. AND I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU HERE, on, ugh, Holzerman's shitty fucking The Wrestling Blog. Jesus, why did I ever agree to come here? (Ed. Note: Because you've been sued for libel by nearly every other wrestling outlet in history. — TH) Anyway, I still tolerate it here because I LOVE YOU, MY READERS. Except for Dan Blarfengarr of Mianus, CT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

Of course, you can read these scoops and be satisfied, but seriously, WHY STOP THERE when you can get the full HORB EXPERIENCE? I'm talking Twitter. I'm talking back newsletters. I'm talking MAXIMUM FLERBMIBER, BAYBAY! You can follow me on Twitter @HorbFlerbminber, where I dish out up-to-the-second scoops for you, your friends, and even your enemies. Just yesterday, I posted surveillance footage of the Arby's bathroom where Robert Gibson fell asleep on the john after eating three roast beef sandwiches and one of those venison gimmicks. You can also get back issues of the newsletter just by believing in yourself! Which issues, well take your pick:
  • January 20, 1971 - SCANDAL: Is Vincent J. McMahon a goddamn commie for booking Ivan Koloff to win the WWWF Championship? An entire double issue devoted to every single one of McMahon's ties, including seances he had so he could commune with Friedrich Engels.
  • May 9, 1984 - Full coverage of Kerry von Erich winning the NWA World Championship from Ric Flair, including a creepy prophecy from Madam Spookarella that detailed how he'd lose a foot in a motorcycle accident.
  • April 4, 1990 - Expansive WrestleMania VI recap, including 35 reasons why Chris Colt should have beaten Hulk Hogan instead of the Ultimate Warrior.
  • April 16, 1997 - ECW holds landmark first pay-per-view event, Barely Legal. I interview Terry Funk, where he said that now that he won the ECW Championship, he could retire in peace back to his ranch in Amarillo, TX and never have to worry about wrestling ever again.
  • April 6, 2005 - John Cena wins his first WWE Championship, and I analyze why it's not only the worst thing to happen in wrestling, but also why it caused the Fifth Seal of the Apocalypse to break wide open.
All this and more you can get just by something uh maybe I don't know. And now, the news:

- WWE released Emma, Darren Young, and Summer Rae on Sunday, making it the worst thing to happen on a Sunday in WWE since the last time Roman Reigns won a pay-per-view match.

- Emma's release came as a shock as she was in two matches where she got substantial offense on Asuka. This goes to prove that Asuka is RUINED and will NEVER EVER get over thanks to WWE not having her beat Emma in less than a nanosecond.

- Lio Rush tweeted a tasteless, in-kayfabe tweet in response to Emma's release, which caused the wrestling world to come crashing down on him. Rush has been released from his NXT contract and will now work in Vince McMahon's salt mine gulag for wrestlers who don't know proper etiquette.

- ENZO AMORE HEAT WATCH: Amore was seen popping bottles backstage at RAW since thanks to Rush's tweet about Emma, he's no longer the lowest man on the totem pole in the company.

- Rumors of Detroit making a bid for WrestleMania 35 in 2019 are false. City officials said "We can't afford to pay for exterminators to get the raccoons out of City Hall. We owe Kid Rock $35 million for goods and services. We can't afford WrestleMania."

- Conor McGregor will probably fight Tony Ferguson next, but only if he can be allowed to use the six-letter "F" word without having to apologize.

- Shane McMahon will captain Smackdown's Survivor Series team as a reward for swimming around in father Vince's scrotum all those years before he was conceived.

- Sami Zayn cemented his heel turn by injuring a fan with a table last night on Smackdown. He reportedly stabbed a fan in the heart with a shard from the announce table, thinking that fan was a vampire.

- Stephanie McMahon returned to RAW, where she literally castrated Kurt Angle in front of a horrified crowd. The front row was spattered with Olympic blood.

- Braun Strowman spent his week away from WWE programming meditating with Oscar the Grouch so he could refocus his refuse chi and become even more powerful.

- Samoa Joe came back too, and oddly enough, he cut a promo finally explaining what happened when those ninja dudes kidnapped him on that episode of Impact.

- Kurt Angle will wrestle at Survivor Series as long as he can find enough twine and duct tape to keep his spine intact.

- Nia Jax also returned to RAW. Her absence was rumored to be over dissatisfaction at her current creative direction, but it turned out to be a rib on Renee Young for not wearing shoes.

- RAW ratings are down again, causing Vince McMahon to wonder loudly around Titan Towers if now's the time to deploy that incest angle he's been wanting to do for years.

- Meanwhile, Roman Reigns is still not cleared to wrestle. He's transitioned from mumps to mononucleosis after making out with his girlfriend in the back of his Ford Crown Victoria at Lover's Point over on the ridge overlooking downtown.

- Tetsuya Naito will be wrestling in the United States February 16 through 18, and if you don't think he'll bring peace and sanctity to this country, well, YOU'RE WRONG, YOU HEATHEN MOTHERFUCKER YOU.

- Don Callis denied rumors that he was leaving New Japan's English announce team, because he knows that if he disrespected the Bushiroad brand, I'd kill him.

- Ring of Honor Soaring Eagle Cup results: The Swagger Soaring Eagle defeated the entire roster.

- Nikki Bella was disqualified from Dancing with the Stars when she gave judge Len Goodman a Rack Attack. She wasn't disqualified for the move, but that she was a woman giving it to a man, making it PATENTLY UNBELIEVABLE AND PANDERING TO PERVERTS.

- John Cena tweeted about the elimination, saying "THIS IS FUCKEN BULLSHIT."

- Cena played an instrumental version of Pixie's "Where Is My Mind?" on piano to celebrate the Bella Twins' YouTube account hitting 900,000 subscribers. Online forums critiqued him by saying Pixies were too mainstream and that if he really cared about his fiancee and future sister-in-law, he'd have played something a bit more artistic from Big Star or Nick Lowe.

- Atsushi Onita has retired. To honor the legend, the Japanese Diet threw several violent inmates into flaming barbed-wire tables rigged with C-4.

- Impact Wrestling surpassed one million YouTube subscribers, and only 350,000 of them are Ed Nordholm sock puppets.

- Impact has also signed Tessa Blanchard and Sami Callihan in an attempt to stock its locker room with as many wrestlers of high moral fiber as possible.

- PROGRESS Wrestling ran a Twitter poll today asking if they should remove a bit of commentary from a recent show where the commentators called Sexy Star a "vacuous c***." The poll was removed after Sexy Star found both Glen Joseph and Jim Smallman and gave them both shoot armbars.

- Drew Gulak dressed up as Sasha Banks for Halloween, causing WWE officials to consider hiring Ted Levine, who played Buffalo Bill in the 1991 Academy Award winning film The Silence of the Lambs to show people how to tuck their penises between their legs if they're gonna pull that shit again.

- WWE also sent a cease and desist letter to Kenny Omega, saying dressing men in drag was its gimmick and its gimmick alone.

- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson hinted at running for President at Stan Lee's Los Angeles Comic Con, saying he'd layeth the smacketh down on the deficit before asking ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi if he liked pie.

- Mauro Ranallo visited Wales to call a boxing match but exploded immediately after trying to read a road sign.

- NXT's Sarah Logan and Raymond Rowe announced their engagement over the weekend. Vince McMahon was seen plotting ways to break the two up since Rowe doesn't work for WWE yet. I'm just kidding, McMahon doesn't even know NXT exists.

- Tony Schiavone did a Control Center rundown for the Starrcade house show happening Thanksgiving. Cody Rhodes was said to have felt personally attacked that Schiavone would disrespect him like that.

Last week's poll results are in, and you want to see Ryoto Hama naked the most out of all current wrestlers. I respect that. This week:
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Search

Powerbomb TV Giving Philadelphia Something to Be Thankful For

November 2, 2017, 8:00 am
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Gresham's first Indie Title defense is a doozie
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Powerbomb TV is the hottest streaming service in indie wrestling right now, and the return on investment over the last year of growth has started to pay off in spades. The partnership with Smart Mark Video began in earnest yesterday, as the massive SMV library started its upload into the PBTV system. Of course, the live streaming and on demand video is just one part, albeit the major part of its operations. Everyone knows and loves the live shows it puts on. The first two — Break the Barrier and Futures — took place in Old Forge, PA. It looks like PBTV's third big show will happen points south in the Keystone State. Wazzup will take place the Saturday after Thanksgiving, November 25, at the Chikara Wrestle Factory in Philadelphia, PA, and boy, does it have one heck of a main event slated.

After Jonathan Gresham won the Independent Wrestling Championship at Futures, a legend of the British indie scene challenged him, Jody Fleisch. That match will take place at Wazzup. Fleisch has made a resurgence in the indie scene thanks to an appearance at King of Trios, and people are rediscovering how good and vital he was not only to the United Kingdom, but to indie wrestling altogether. He'll be a tough test for Gresham in his first defense of the title he beat three other top indie guys for. This match might not seem like a buzz match for casual indie fans, but if you head over to the Wrestle Factory, which is an intimate setting for wrestling (and thus the best kind of setting for wrestling), you will become a believer. Trust me on this one.

Also announced for the show so far are another MMA-to-wrestling superstar and a big tag match. "Filthy" Tom Lawlor, who has gone from accompanying reDRagon to the ring in Ring of Honor to training and getting in the ring himself, will be there in Philly for the festivities. He hasn't been scheduled in a match yet, but I'm sure he'll have a suitable opponent. The tag match ought to be a hoot as well, as tag teams representing NOVA Pro Wrestling and Beyond Wrestling will square off. The DC company's representatives will be the Ugly Ducklings, another team from the Southern indie boom, will do battle with Jay Freddie and John Silver. Again, that match is another that will open a lot of eyes. Wazzup is looking like a treat for post Thanksgiving and Black Friday digestion. If you're in the area, make it a point to get to the Wrestle Factory, or if you can't, get yourself a PBTV subscription. Hell, you can get a 20 day trial for free if you use one of many codes, like "Absolute,""IWAMS," or "ALPHA1." Do it so you can immerse yourself in the indie experience.
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Stop Trying to Make People Like You, Triple H

November 2, 2017, 10:00 am
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No.
Photo Credit: WWE.com
WWE is currently embarking on a European tour, and doing so without top guy/heat magnet Roman Reigns. The Big Dog's battle with the mumps couldn't have come at a worse time, as The Shield had FINALLY reunited and his loudest boo-birds had a reason to cheer him again. Things finally were turning up Reigns, and then he got sick with a disease that is now heavily vaccinated against and considered nearly eradicated. Oops! Whether he's a secret anti-vaxxer or WWE's Wellness plan doesn't include mandatory vaccinations for all employees, Reigns' health has cost him perhaps the hottest time of his post-Shield breakup career. Anyway, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose seem to be doing alright, as they were getting big reactions before Reigns joined them, and their feud against The Bar HOSS International has been one of the highlights for match quality on RAW this year. Of course, Reigns was an integral part of the TLC main event, so WWE had to sub someone in for that match. Kurt Angle wasn't his 2001 prime self, but man, he was surprisingly adept given his present physical state. It's a good thing WWE resisted the temptation to put someone else in the flak jacket and black pants again afterwards until Reigns got back, right?

Right?
Fuck.

I know this thing was a house show and probably won't be acknowledged on camera, but man, WWE took the time to put it on the fucking Twitter account, so it's more than just fans leaking viral video. The company recognizing it brings the evil to life, and make no mistake about it, the guy marrying into capital co-opting a popular gimmick to replace the lone person of color in a stable is evil. Oh yeah, the last time Triple H was on camera, he was getting his ass whipped by Rollins at WrestleMania, second level of wrong. Finally, Triple H spent a good half-year trying to eradicate The Shield before he succeeded by bribing Rollins, so yeah, this thing is a triple play of wrong. But then again, it was something for the house show crowd, which means I could be blowing this out of proportion like a dimestore Wade Keller.

But overall, it's more of a symptom of a bigger problem that has been brewing in WWE ever since Trips, or more accurately, Paul Levesque, decided to rehab his image among hardcore fans and counter himself as The Alternative to old man Vince McMahon: posing with NXT signees, bringing back fan-favorite persons or things after McMahon allows them to be bullied off Smackdown or atrophy in the archives, the entirety of Justin Barrasso's news reporting at Sports Illustrated's website, and now this. Triple H is trying to get everyone to like him, which isn't bad without context. Everyone should want to be liked, right? Except he's painting himself as the savior of WWE from his doddering father-in-law, and I'm highly suspicious of it.

Again, this isn't to say WWE won't get better under his leadership. NXT shows that his own guidance and direction can produce something consistently entertaining, which is more than anyone can say about RAW or Smackdown right now. But this kind of thing happens all the time in the corporate world. Public relations is a huge component to success in the corporate world, and if Levesque can show that he's got his finger more on the pulse than his father-in-law, maybe he gets control before McMahon finally dies of the techno-organic virus in 2051. Given how much of the wrestling world, both within the specific bubble of Wrestling Twitter I reside and outside of it, has lauded Trips as a genius level panacea, I can assume it's working.

However, creative is only one component of a place where WWE can improve. Levesque can produce killer content every week, but if the culture of bullying remains, who cares how good RAW is? If wrestlers still don't have healthcare or this bullshit abuse of the independent contractor label continues unabated, then how is Levesque any better than McMahon? I guess what I'm saying is I don't trust anyone in any front office, especially one with as bad a reputation with labor relations as WWE. I don't think you should either.
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 211

November 2, 2017, 12:30 pm
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LU wrestlers like Prince Puma (Ricochet) should go anywhere except WWE
Photo via Pro Wrestling Sheet
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

The truth is most of them already have homes outside of Lucha Underground, which makes the fantasy booking a bit more restrictive. The only promotions that probably were verboten were WWE and the New Japan/Ring of Honor/Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre bloc that acts as the worldwide de facto number two. Obviously, one would want to see Penta El Zero M and Rey Feníx get a shot on a bigger stage, but right now, they're about the hottest act on the American indies. El Hijo del Fantasma (King Cuerno) is already lighting up Impact Wrestling, which remains in the weirdest place right now. Ricochet already does NJPW, and he's probably going to WWE when he can in mid-January. Sexy Star is absolutely radioactive, and Mil Muertes is, well, really old. Everyone else is an indie player, so they're back in the pool where they started. But honestly, I hope no one involved in Lucha Underground goes to WWE, because WWE won't understand what made them great in the first place. If the question is "should," then they should all form some kind of collective or hell, maybe even take over the National Wrestling Alliance and intimidate Billy Corgan into money mark figurehead status. I just want a haven for special wrestlers to be able to go and thrive, y'know?

When speaking of steak sides, one should probably hold themselves to a steakhouse standard. What would I order if I were getting this at, say, Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse or Ruth's Chris? With that in mind...

  1. Potatoes au gratin - You only really see these bad boys at steakhouses anymore, and I don't know why. Potatoes and cheese go together like rumors of backstage heat and Enzo Amore. I don't know why, but the cheesy potatoes feel quintessential to a steak dinner.
  2. Creamed spinach - Most people think of a steakhouse dinner and say "Hey, you gotta have a baked potato and creamed spinach with that." Only one of those sides is right. I've had some creamed spinaches that tasted funny with the herbs, but mostly, this is the right vegetable to have on the side.
  3. Mushrooms - Of course, mushrooms and beef go together like rumors of backstage heat and Lana, although I hesitate to call mushrooms a side. They're more of a topper, but hey, why let semantics get in the way of a good complement to a steak dinner, right?
  4. Asparagus - Asparagus is the GOAT vegetable anyway when cooked on its own. It doesn't need anything more than butter, salt, and maybe pepper anyway. It's worth the funny-smelling urine.
  5. Mashed potatoes - Mashed potatoes are more of a diner side than a steak side, but honestly, when judging steak and potatoes, you have to consider mashed, especially if you're doing it at home rather than going out. Plus, mashed potatoes are so versatile with the add-ins: heavy cream, sour cream, cheese, chives, scallions, bacon, garlic.
  6. Caramelized onions - Again, more of an accouterments than a side dish, onions with beef are a natural pairing like rumors of backstage heat and... you know what, I'm going to retire that comparison for now.
  7. Wedge salad - Again, this is more of an appetizer, but when I think steak dinner, I think of the wedge of iceberg lettuce with the hard-boiled egg, bacon, and bleu cheese dressing. Oh man, so good.
  8. Onion rings - I prefer the caramelized onions over the rings because rings, especially steakhouse rings, tend to be underseasoned. But hey, I'm not knocking it, especially those big rings you get served right on top of your meat.
  9. Getting run over by a truck
  10. Baked potato - Look, I've eaten my share of baked potatoes, and they're a chore once you get by the top layer with all the butter and sour cream. Anything you can do with a baked potato you can do 20 times better with mashed potatoes with better texture and distribution of flavor. Baked potatoes feel like a vestige from a time before the French smacked the British upside the head and told them to cook good, eh.

After that, well, you start getting into esoteric sides, and really, anything can be a side dish for a great steak. Food is infinite. But as for the classic sides, well, that ranking is about as good as I can think of.

King of the Ring had quite a few prolific runners-up: The Rock in 1999, Rob van Dam in 2002, CM Punk in 2008, Neville in 2015. However, I'll take Mankind in 1997 over all of them, one because that would have been a feel-good underdog story instead of another attempt at jump-starting Triple H, and well, I hate Triple H. But hey, Mick Foley got his big moment in the sun when he won the WWE Championship after Tony Schiavone dismissively said "that'll put butts in the seats" on Nitro so maybe it was for the best.

Eh, who cares if I did. Let me do another one.

WWE Championship Match
Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, Survivor Series 1997 - Controversial, I know. It's not the best match, but it had the best atmosphere, at least by historical standards.

Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, John Cena, and Ryback vs. Kane, Luke Harper, Mark Henry, Rusev, and Seth Rollins, Survivor Series 2014 - Even though the results kinda didn't matter and it was a full-on schmozz, man, what a fun elimination match that one was. Sting appearing was just wild, man. Wild. It was also the last time Ziggler was relevant and actually good, so that's a thing.

I'm gonna level with you, I don't really have many fond memories of Survivor Series for match quality, so I'm just gonna go with matches that looked cool and fit the criteria (no repeat wrestlers, no repeat titles).

Aja Kong, Bertha Faye, Lioness Asuka, and Tomoko Watanabe vs. Alundra Blayze, Chaparita Asari, Kyoko Inoue, and Sakie Hasegawa, Survivor Series 1995

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage vs. Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, Survivor Series 1992

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell, Survivor Series 2007

Yeah, I got nothin' else. Sorry.

I think it's because the industry, whether it wants to admit it or not, follows WWE trends, and outside of a hot period between TLC 2012 and the end of The Shield, trios matches were never a thing WWE did with regularity, especially recently. The MO is and has always been doing singles matches, sometimes over and over again, to advance feuds rather than shoving a bunch of guys in trios, relevos atomicos, or even ten-man tags to get a bunch of people in front of crowds and let them do their coolest shit without having to work long matches. I feel like the indies don't do it often outside of Chikara because that means promoters will have to pay even MORE people to be on the show. Wrestling in America probably needs an overhaul that starts at the top, but I do think six-man tags would do a lot of good for everyone.

Someone on Twitter may have joked that the "LGBTQ+ stories" that Stephanie McMahon promised are actually what the Fashion Files are, and my cynical nature tends to believe that. I doubt WWE will actually follow through with anything overt, because as much of its window-dressing, self-congratulatory activism might cause them to shoehorn a gay character in, everyone in that front office that matters still votes Republican. So while they'll celebrate the next person to publicly come out of the closet or somehow highlight Sonya Deville's queerness when she becomes a bigger star, I doubt the company will ever recognize whether a character is gay or not.

Very carefully.

I keed, I keed. I think the only thing you really need is a guideline of criteria to put someone in and adherence to it. In that case, both the WWE and WON Halls of Fame are valid. Vince McMahon's criteria are that he really has none, that it's just an honor he feels like giving out. Think about it; has McMahon or anyone in WWE specified what it takes to get into the Hall outside of McMahon thinking you'll be a draw or that he wanted to honor you? Explain why his father's old limousine driver was in the second class. Conversely, Dave Meltzer has set up his Hall of Fame well. He has guidelines, rules, and he has a cadre of voters who all interpret those things differently, but at least in theory interpret them rather than making up their own. Of course, I don't wanna see them argue about it on Twitter non-stop like it's on the same level as making foreign policy, but you know what, you do you. I'll do me. Wherever your bliss is, chase it, even if that means arguing for hours on a podcast whether Big Daddy deserves representation in the WON Hall of Fame.

As much as I loved ECW back in the day and how fondly I look upon it now, it has done unquestionable damage on today's wrestling. The worked-shoots that everyone loves weren't invented by Vince Russo, oh no. I wouldn't say Paul Heyman invented them either (Memphis, baby), but he sure as hell popularized them in '90s wrestling. It also gave rise to the idea that for wrestling to be relevant, it had to pander to "adults," read, the lowest common denominator. Wrestling for kids was seen as a vestige of Vince McMahon's cartoon wrestling, especially at the height of its cornball excess in the "New Generation" era. Instead of making people think that wrestling was bad because ti was badly executed, it gave a generation of fans and promoters the idea that wrestling was bad when it was colorful. While the New Generation was shitty, ECW is why I can tolerate guys like Mike Quackenbush worshipping at its altar and making it better quality now.

While those two reasons are the big death blows ECW made on modern wrestling, the most annoying is that it loosed Bubba Dudley as an elder statesman. Holy shit, the world did not need him spouting off at the mouth. What a fucking loser.
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NXT In 60 Seconds

November 3, 2017, 6:00 am
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IT IS DECIDED
Photo Credit:TalkSport.com
Taynara Conti: comes out
Nikki Cross: Happy early Thanksgiving!
Conti: How do you mean, ha
Cross: squish squansh SQUASH
Conti: But I
Cross: laughs, hits herself in the face repeatedly, then finishes off the Brazilian
Referee: Winner!
Cross: laughs and cackles
Mauro: still somehow not calling the swinging fisherwoman's neckbreaker the Cross Covered Three Handled Family Gradunza

Fabian Aichner: comes out
Johnny Gargano: also does, hugs Izzy on the way in
Full Sailors: Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap and so on
Johnny: out grapples him on the mat Plancha!
Aichner: Nope!  splats him against the barrier Enzui European uppercut!
Johnny: Well, that sucked, but it's comeback time.  Rollthru kick!  Superman spear!  Slingshot DDT!
Aichner: Survive that, kickout, and kickout.
Johnny: :|
Aichner: PowerBOMB!
Johnny: Kickout!
Aichner: Pop-up tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!  Moonsault!
Johnny: HA HA knees up!  Around the World Escape!
Aichner: HA HA abdominal stretch rollup counter!
Referee: Winner!
Full Sailors: ...what the shit
Johnny: what....the....shit?!
Aichner: fist raised on the ramp as he slowly gets up That's three, John Boy.  Fair and square!  Whoo!  I did it!  heads to the back
Johnny: puts a few more yards on his stare in the middle of the ring

Aleister Black: (via voiceover and stinger) Patrick...if you wanted my attention...you've got it.
Mauro: It has been signed for Takeover: Houston, the Velveteen Dream vs. Aleister Black!

Street Profits: Damn!  Who around here in a Mazerati?  Choice, choice.  That's what you can get if you work hard enough, y'all.
Riddick Moss and Tino Sabatelli Young Money: That's us.
Street Profits: That's y'all?
Young Money: That's us.  We won't wear your chains, you don't do anything with or to our baby here.
Street Profits: All right, all right.  Damn, y'all.  Just trying to show the respect.  We out, anyway.  walk off (sotto voce) Bunch of hating-ass haters...

Drew McIntyre: makes his way out for a contract signing just after having actually signed in the back with Regal
Andrade "Cien" Almas: SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!  jumps him from behind, throws the belt on him, then signs the contract and sticks it on DMC with Zerlina's gum
Refs: come out to check on DMC
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOO!

Peyton Royce: We should both be in the match together!
Billie Kay: Stupid little pirate.  Halloween was YESTERDAY!  HELLO!
Aforementioned Stupid Little Pirate: emerges from behind them, shows them her elbow, feints a shot
Team Australia: flinch
Kairi Sane: salutes them and walks off
Peyton: Why'd she...point her elbow at you?
Billie Kay: having some sense of what may happen to her next week, rolls her eyes

Announcer: (under CHAMPIONSHIP LIGHTING) The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL...
Full Sailors: ONE FALL!
Announcer: ...and it is for the NXT Tag Team Championships!
Full Sailors: cheer, chant for SAnitY
SAnitY: control early
Authors of Pain: control the middle
SAnitY: control the end
AOP: No, they don't.  Super Collider, Last Chapter
the Undisputed Era: SWARM!  jump everybody, including Killian Dain (who'd come out after the match per pre-match stipulation)
Some Guy, Bay Bay: Wait wait wait wait!  Give him room!  Give him room.
Roderick Strong: enters the ring
Adam Cole: Roddy... do the right thing.
Roddy: shows him the armband from last week and puts it on
Adam Cole: Which is that!  Yes!  Fish and O'Reilly are also enthused by this
Roddy: Get him up.
the Undisputed Era: do so
Roddy: of course, starts laying out tUE
Full Sailors: boo loudly, which is pretty hilarious
AOP: help Roddy clear the ring
SAnitY: is still recovering on the ramp 
William Regal:this
Adam Cole: this

Several Thousands Of Us Blocking Off Time Two Saturdays From Now:  

 
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Dasher Hatfield to Bask in Keith Lee's Glory

November 3, 2017, 8:00 am
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Bask, Chikara, Bask!
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Keith Lee has pretty much blown up the indie scene since his release from Ring of Honor last year. Long-time readers of The Wrestling Blog have known he was the goods since his days being billed from The Moon in Inspire Pro Wrestling. ROH didn't know what it had in him and kept him and tag partner Shane Taylor buried in the tag team midcard for nearly his entire tenure there. However, once he was free of Sinclair's grip, he went to WWN Live and basically started running with the big dogs, culminating in taking the WWN Live Championship from Matt Riddle last month. So it goes without saying that Mr. Bask in My Glory is a hot property across the indies nowadays. What does Chikara do with these special attractions? Well, it puts them against Dasher Hatfield, of course, which is what the fun-filled Americanized lucha libre supershow will be doing when it plays Enfield, CT on November 19 for Kill the Moon.

This match won't be Hatfield's first against a super indie name. He wrestled Moose at Deep Breath in Chicago last weekend. If anyone is suited to take on the Eddie Kingston Memorial Super Indie Guest Gauntlet role in the company right now, it'd be the Old Timey King of Swing. However, another wrinkle in this match is that Hatfield currently sits on two points towards contention to the Grand Championship, currently held by Juan Francisco de Coronado. With Icarus besting Rory Gulak at the second half of that same Chicago doubleheader, the path is clear for Hatfield to get his shot at the finale. However, it's not like Lee is some pushover. Hatfield will have to earn his point and his title match.

Regardless of the result though, Lee coming to Chikara is huge. If Chikara becomes the place for WWN Live guys to blow off some steam and have a little fun, it'll benefit everyone, as Lee joins Matt Riddle and Zack Sabre, Jr. as name guys from that corner of the indies to make an appearance or two this year. Either way, if you're in New England or plan on going there for Thanksgiving, why don't you head in a little early to see what could be one of the best matches of the year?
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Pick Three: AAW, WrestleJam, OTT

November 3, 2017, 10:00 am
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The Broadsword of Nazmaldun will be defending his WrestleJam Title for charity
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
It's the weekend, baby! You know what that means, time to drink precisely one beer and dial 911 wrestling is happening, and it's happening all around this great world. I'm going to highlight three shows which I think will be of most interest. Of course, I'm only one person. You can check out which shows are coming up possibly in your area via Cagematch. Anyway, go to, if you can, these great shows that may be happening in your area, on television/YouTube/streaming, or for later consumption via VOD, DVD, or whatever other means one uses to consume wrestling at a later date:

AAW Hell Hath No FuryTonight (Friday, 11/3), Berwyn Eagles Club, Berwyn, IL, 8:30 PM local time - The premiere indie promotion in the Chicagoland area is back on tap tonight to start a weekend doubleheader. While tomorrow night's Rise of the Dragon features Ultimo Dragon, the first show may be more well-rounded. Rey Feníx is defending his AAW Championship in the main event, but it hasn't been announced against whom yet. However, the show promises the return of a former AAW Champion, and Jimmy Jacobs fits that bill just fine after being released from his WWE Creative contract. I'm not saying he'll be Feníx's challenger, but I'm pretty good at putting two and two together, if you know what I mean. Another match of interest on this show features Trevor Lee taking on Eddie Kingston. Both wrestlers are or have been in Impact Wrestling recently, but I don't think they've crossed paths there, so this will be of extreme interest. Lee has pretty much staked his claim as the greatest professional wrestler based out of North Carolina since Ric Flair, while Kingston is always angry and looking for a fight. This match should be a dandy. Also, Colt Cabana will team up with Chuck Taylor in a comedic team made in heaven. Too bad they're going up against the certifiably insane Cutter Brothers. That's right, The Hooligans are back looking for some mayhem, and in Cabana and Taylor, they may have found the perfect targets. Also appearing on this show will be Veda Scott, Delilah Doom, Mat Fitchett, Davey Vega, Su Yung, David Starr, Jeff Cobb, Michael Elgin, Shane Strickland, AR Fox, DJ Z, and Curt Stallion. It's a goddamn loaded show, and if you can make it out to Berwyn, do it! If not, check back to AAW On Demand for some at-home viewing.

WrestleJam 16Tomorrow (Saturday, 11/4), Ferrara Elementary School, East Haven, CT, 7:30 PM local time - Connecticut's premiere indie promotion is back and is wrestling for charity. All proceeds from this event will go to the Mikey's Way Foundation, which is a non-profit that donates electronics to kids with cancer. If you can't make it to East Haven, maybe think about making a donation in WrestleJam's name? Anyway, the show is pretty loaded if you ask me. The main event is a four-way match for the WrestleJam Championship, chocked full of Chikara and Chikara-adjacent talent. Hallowicked, the Champion, must defend against three other tall task wrestlers: Fire Ant, Zenshi (FKA Shynron), and Gran Akuma. Given all four of their backgrounds, this match should drop every jaw in attendance. Going all the way to the other end of the spectrum, Jonathan Gresham will be there to take on Travis Huckabee in what should be a marvelous technical display. Additionally, Davey Boy Smith, Jr. stops by to throw hands with Ace Romero in what may end up being a certified HOSS FIGHT. Also appearing on the show will be Jack Swagger, Darby Allin, Team Sea Stars, Sumie Sakai, and Icarus. Unfortunately, if you can't make it live, you may not be able to watch later, as I couldn't find any info for WrestleJam's aftermarket purchases. However, because this show is for charity, I'm going to make an exception in highlighting it, because it's for such a good cause.

Over The Top Wrestling Vendetta!Tomorrow (Saturday, 11/4), Tivoli Theater, Dublin, Ireland, 7 PM local time - The biggest and best promotion in Ireland heads back to the Tivoli Theater on Saturday for some big action. The main event will be for a future shot at the OTT Champion, as Matt Riddle will BRO his way across the ocean to battle the Guest Star Killer himself, Jordan Devlin. Devlin is one of Ireland's top talents, and he'll be looking to get himself a shot, but he'll have to go through Riddle and his unique brand of hybrid MMA and technical wrestling. Speaking of the Champion, Mark Haskins will be in action in a non-title match against Travis Banks, the current PROGRESS Champion. Although it's not billed as such, it's already a far more appealing Champion vs. Champion match than what's currently set for Survivor Series, that's for sure. Even if Haskins isn't putting his strap up, that doesn't mean no titles will be defended. Martina the Session Moth will defend her OTT Women's Championship against Lana Austin. One could argue Martina is actually OTT's signature wrestler, so this match should get a lot of spotlight. Also appearing on this show will be Chris Brookes, El Ligero, and Zack Gibson among others. If you can't make it over to Tivoli for this, check out OTT ON Demand later on for some fun.

OTHER SHOWS TO WATCH
  • Westside XTreme Wrestling Fight Forever Tour 2017 (Friday, Wetzlar, Germany
  • Limitless Wrestling Hybrid Moments (Friday, Portland, ME)
  • Neo Fight Pro Wrestling Happy Homecoming (Friday, Blackwood, NJ)
  • WXW Fight Forever Tour 2017 (Saturday, Berlin, Germany)
  • International Wrestling Cartel Clearfield Carnage 3 (Saturday, Clearfield, PA)
  • AAW Rise of the Dragon (Saturday, LaSalle, IL)
  • Insane Championship Wrestling Road to Fear and Loathing (Saturday, Liverpool, England)
  • Battle Club Pro They All Fall Down (Saturday, Ridgefield Park, NJ)
  • The Crash (Saturday, Tijuana, Mexico)
  • Revolution Pro Wrestling Live at the Cockpit 22 (Sunday, Marylebone, London, England)
  • WXW Fight Forever Tour 2017 (Sunday, Erfurt, Germany)
  • ICW Road to Fear and Loathing (Sunday, Cardiff, Wales)
  • The Crash/Revolucha (Sunday, Monterrey, Mexico)
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Manami Toyota Has Retired

November 6, 2017, 6:00 am
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Farewell to a legend
Photo via Battle-News
The wrestling world said farewell to an icon on Friday. Manami Toyota, one of the seminal joshi wrestlers of the 1990s, retired officially at a show dedicated to her. The card was centered around an insanely long gauntlet of one-minute matches, where Toyota basically wrestled a THIS IS YOUR LIFE lineup of friends, foes, peers, and influenced. You can find the lineup at PuroLove, but a partial list of wrestlers who turned out to say farewell to Toyota were as follows: Mayumi Ozaki, Meiko Satomura, Yumi Ohka, Tsubasa Kuragaki, Cherry, Emi Sakura, Kaori Yoneyama, Leon, Hikaru Shida, Hiroyo Matsumoto, Ikuto Hidaka, Ayako Hamada, Mima Shimoda, Jaguar Yokota, Chigusa Nagayo, Tsukasa Fujimoto, "Small Antonio Inoki," and Bull Nakano. Nakano didn't even wrestle at her own retirement show, but she turned out for Toyota's.

People say women have to work twice as hard to get half the credit. Joshi wrestlers have done way more than twice the work their male counterparts have, albeit I'm not sure if they've gotten more or less than half the credit. Toyota was part of a sorority of amazing pro wrestlers who influenced an entire industry. That All-Japan Women's lineup included Nakano, Akira Hokuto, Aja Kong, Shimoda, Ozaki, and so many other iconic wrestlers, and Toyota was one of the most decorated of the bunch. Dave Meltzer swears by her to the point where he's rated 17 of her matches as five stars. When you're that entrenched in wrestle lore, everything you do is a big deal.

I was blessed enough to see Toyota live several times thanks to Mike Quackenbush's undying devotion to joshi. The Toyota who wrestled in Chikara had a lot of miles on the odometer; I and my fellow fans weren't getting 1992, rolling-prawn-holding-Aja-Kong-off-the-top Toyota. That being said, she could've coasted on her laurels, gotten a paycheck, and just given it the old Kevin Nash try. I don't know her and couldn't tell you if she was just going through the motions, but it didn't seem like it. She was still out there, going hard, wrestling at a high level in all kinds of settings. Those crowds got their money's worth and then some every time she came over to the States to go up against a bunch of skinny dudes in masks (and Madison Eagles).

The funny thing is that she didn't retire because she was getting tired of wrestling. She had injured her neck, and continuing as a pro wrestler just wasn't the healthy choice for her life. She's going to go and hopefully enjoy life after the ring. Maybe she'll suit up for a tag match every other year. Perhaps she'll turn up for Aja Kong's or Mayumi Ozaki's retirements, or she'll be there when/if Akira Hokuto returns to wrestling after besting cancer. But the chapter of wrestling history where Manami Toyota is an active wrestler has closed. Every wrestling fan, whether they know it or not, was enriched by her presence. Godspeed, Manami, and thanks for all the memories.
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You Can Take the TNA Letters Away from Impact, but You Can Never Remove the TNA Completely

November 6, 2017, 9:30 am
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el Patron should never have been allowed to go off about his allegations as a story trope
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Impact Wrestling ran Bound for Glory last night, which is the company's biggest show of the year. The promotion has been making waves lately for signing new talent and letting all of its referees go, and I'd like to say that maybe it was a sign that the company was turning some kind of corner. However, the company proved that no matter how far it distances itself from the "TNA" abbreviation, the spirit of ineptitude and grossness that pervaded it will never leave, as it either allowed Alberto el Patron to do a freeform worked shoot skirting responsibility for the domestic violence allegations against him or outright made it a part of the script.

You can find the video at Pro Wrestling Sheet, but please be forewarned. It contains a video of someone accused of domestic violence using those allegations as a storyline prop to show how he was "screwed" by the company acting on it. It's not only disrespectful to any alleged victims in this case, it's grossly triggering to any domestic violence survivors who tuned in last night. In the absolute best case scenario, it's tone-deaf. I tend to think it skews more to actual violence, especially since he essentially used his children as de facto shields.

This act from the folks in charge at Impact is just another sign that the more things change, the more they stay the same with this wretched outfit of human slime. Ed Nordholm John Gaburick, and the creative staff ought to be ashamed of themselves, but hey, I guess if you're going to misuse the legal system to keep Matt and Jeff Hardy from taking their intellectual property wherever they want to take it, you might as well go all the way and not only hire alleged domestic abusers like Sami Callihan, who debuted on the show last night, but allow the current alleged abusers to treat their accusations like they're stealing from Wal-Mart.

It's a shame in the end because the company still hires good wrestlers and has a timeslot, albeit an ever-shrinking one in viewership. However, the amount of goodwill it takes on continues to be swallowed up by all the bullshit that stems mainly from whoever's running it at the time. Impact could sign Bryan Danielson, Rey Mysterio, ACH, Nicole Matthews, and every unsigned wrestler or impending free agent, and shit like this el Patron promo last night will keep me away. I'm not the only one either.
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Chuck Taylor Is Going to New Japan! (And I Guess Chris Jericho Too)

November 6, 2017, 12:00 pm
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He's coming to World Tag League!
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
New Japan Pro Wrestling ran its annual Power Struggle show, the last stop before its World Tag League event and the last usual time when it'll put in jeopardy its January 4 Tokyo Dome main event. While Kazuchika Okada vs. Tetsuya Naito was never in doubt, an exciting wrinkle was added to WrestleKingdom that will be of great interest to potential new fans. Chris Jericho was announced as Kenny Omega's opponent New Japan's biggest event of the year. Jericho and Omega have been feuding on Twitter for the last few weeks. Many thought it would culminate in a match on Jericho's wrestling-themed cruise, where Ring of Honor will be promoting a tournament. However, this news puts the match on a much bigger stage.

Jericho has not wrestled a match outside of WWE since 1999. Every time he left the biz and come back, it has been to WWE, which makes this announcement as pleasantly surprising. The fact that someone so entrenched in WWE lore left at the height of its hegemony to work with the number two alliance is a boost to the entire industry. While I have my doubts as to whether the match will be good — Jericho has been in two good matches since Beast in the East, both of them violent, personal brawls against Kevin Owens — it'll still have a ton of novelty. Besides, Omega is a miracle worker in the ring.

Of course, before arriving at WrestleKingdom, New Japan will be doing its yearly World Tag League, which is like the G1 Climax, only with tag teams. You can find the entire slate here on this tweet, but a few pairing stick out at me. First, Michael Elgin has replaced Matt Riddle as Jeff Cobb's partner, which isn't surprising. Japan has some of the most draconian drug laws in the world, and Riddle loves the devil's lettuce something fierce. The important thing here is that Cobb is still going, and oh my, that team is in the same block as CHAOS' offering of Toru Yano and Tomohiro Ishii. Seeing Ishii and Cobb in the same ring together gives me the vapors just imagining it.

But the biggest addition has to be Chuck Taylor, who will be teaming with his partner and Best Friend Barretta. Taylor's brand of comedic grapples and Twitter self-deprecation has made him a fan favorite of many, and the latter in that duo has made things like this even more special. He's fought so many years for success in the business, and between finally winning the Pro Wrestling Guerrilla World Championship and arriving in New Japan, things are finally coming up Dustin. They too are in the same bracket as Yano and Ishii, so the possibility of Taylor and Yano yukking it up will get a lot of folks excited.

Between this and the company coming back to America in early 2018, it's hard not to get excited for New Japan's future. Hopefully, it can continue to grow in America and offer a second premium option for people to get excited about. Competition breeds nothing but good things for wrestling fans, you know.
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The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for November 6, 2017

November 6, 2017, 4:15 pm
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LORD OF THE TRASH
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 5) - Look, how the fuck am I not gonna rank Strowman number one after he emerged from a trash truck to wreck shit on The Miztourage. I mean, it's the least I could do after he presumably spent eight days in a trash truck, or in a network of trash trucks. Either way.

2. Vinny Curry (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Eagles STOMPED the Denver Broncos yesterday to the tune of a 51-23 drubbing. They head into the bye week on a high note thanks to a monstrous pass rush and run stop. Curry was one of the spiciest members of that defense. He's been coming into his own the last few weeks, finally earning the contract he signed two offseasons ago. Everything's clicking. Hopefully the week off won't throw their momentum off for the big showdown in Dallas.

3. Toni Storm (Last Week: 1) - Eh, it's inertia at this point.

4. Asuka (Last Week: 4) - Did you see how she kicked the shit out of that jobber last week on RAW? Man, I wouldn't want to run afoul of her now.

5. Pizza (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Honestly, you don't know how good it really is until you don't have it for awhile and then order some. I got some bacon and mushroom pizza the other night with my family, and my god, it was like being in heaven.

6. Joel Embiid (Last Week: Not Ranked) - After starting slow, the Sixers have roared back with five wins in the last six games. The team is gelling quicker than even I thought, and Embiid (and Ben Simmons) are the big reasons for it.

7. Tsukasa Fujimoto (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She was a part of the extravaganza that was Manami Toyota's retirement, and aside from Toyota, she may have been the most important part. Toyota bequeathed to her the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex, a high honor in Japanese pro wrestling. She must be worthy recipient, or else she wouldn't have been chosen. High marks indeed.

8. Rene Boucher (Last Week: Not Ranked) - A story just broke that Senator Rand Paul has been in a dispute with his neighbor for years over leaves, and that neighbor, Boucher, gave him a good, ol' fashioned Arn Anderson spinebuster. Many Americans salute his service of committing an act of violence against a member of Congress who keeps trying to take their healthcare away.

9. Lockjaw (Last Week: 9) - God, why am I still watching this show. LOCKJAW BARELY HAD LIKE A MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME THIS PAST WEEK.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) -*in the tune of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2"* 𝅘𝅥𝅮Oney Lorcan's here for porkin'.𝅘𝅥𝅮
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How Badly Does WWE Mic the Crowd?

November 7, 2017, 6:00 am
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Why didn't Dunne's reaction come off as the BIGGEST EVER on TV? Blame Dunn
Photo Credit: WWE.com
RAW was not aired live last night, obviously, as it aired from Manchester, UK. With the six hour time difference, it'd be hard to put on a live broadcast from across the pond for Americans here (something to think about when clamoring for a UK pay-per-view), but the unintended consequence for giving British fans the experience of the primary telecast is that spoilers leak for fans over here. Anyone trolling the NEWZ sites knew going in that Pete Dunne would make his main roster debut in a match against Enzo Amore. Those sites reported that Dunne got the loudest pop of the night, perhaps the loudest pop they'd ever heard. It makes sense, to be honest. Dunne is the ace of that British Indie scene, and him appearing on RAW was both thrilling and wholly unexpected.

Yet when he came out, the reaction seemed muted on television. It's not the first time a big-time appearance seemed to have a flat reaction on the telecast, and it definitely won't be the last. It's bad in every case, but for someone like Dunne, whom the commentary made a huge fawning deal over and whom WWE has placed as the centerpiece of its UK brand so to speak, it's disappointing to hear an underwhelming pop on the broadcast at home, and it's not something that is his fault at all.

Kevin Dunn gets a lot of hate for his supposed political machinations, a lot of which are based on hearsay. While it's easy to place hate on a Vince McMahon crony, I still feel a bit uneasy heaping scorn on a dude based on the accusations from Jim Cornette. Besides, the real reason to hate on Great Value Brand Peter Pettigrew is that he's bad at his job. Whether it be the policy of camera cuts that require a Ritalin prescription, routinely missing the best angle on essential spots in a match, production flubs (like having Kurt Angle come out to Dunne's music before introducing him), or generally anything related to WWE's live production, Dunn is the paragon for cronyism actively detrimenting the show over merit.

So when the disparity between live show and broadcast occurs, it's clear that it's another reason why Dunn can't handle the live broadcast. And if WWE fucked up levels on Dunne's debut, how many other superstars' reactions are unnecessarily muted at home? Sasha Banks? Asuka? Even Braun Strowman, whose return pop last week felt quieter than someone of his stature? Whose reactions are legitimate, and whose aren't as loud because one of Dunn's grunts has the live mic somewhere next to the video board above the ring instead of over the crowd?

The really baffling thing is that WWE's production team routinely turns in tremendous work on recaps and promo segments. The camera work and the aesthetic on those Asuka stingers alone have done wonders creating mystique around her for people who've never seen her in NXT and transferring it for those who have. The thing is I don't know if her crowd reactions are valid or not; they certainly have reason to be since she could be unfairly seen as a scapegoat for Emma's firing, but that's getting too much in the realm of speculation. The point is though, Dunne at least got done dirty by poor crowd amplification. That should never happen for the company with the biggest production budget and the most reach worldwide. Ever.
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Leftism and Wrestling: No Collateral Damage

November 7, 2017, 9:25 am
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The acceptable number of women to be scammed for nudes by Blampied is zero. Zero.
Photo via What Culture
Even though capitalists and conservatives run and populate the wrestling business, as an artform, it lends itself to leftist ideals. This series hopes to show wrestling fans why they should embrace the left, not just for the sport/art, but also for themselves.

Adam Blampied isn't a name I want to know, but it was thrust into my, and the wrestling world's at large, attention when he was booted from Cultaholic. What is Cultaholic? I have no fucking clue, other than maybe it's a content farm? Blampied was one of the five people behind it, the same five people who were part of What Culture's wrestling writing staff and then the creative/promotional team of What Culture Professional Wrestling before they were booted, so I guess it's pro wrestling related. Funny, wrestling is nowhere in the name, and all the advance promotional materials ahead of it don't really highlight the fact that it's about wrestling. Are they actually ashamed of what they're covering? Anyway, Blampied was supposed to be part of the big launch that's happening this week except he first the project would be delayed and then that he'd be on hiatus and then that he would be fired from the project altogether. Why? Well, it would appear Mr. Blampied lied to women online about his relationship status and then used his position of power and influence at What Culture and WCPW to solicit nude photographs of them and then ghosting them after he received the goods.

Anyone with even a fleeting sense of morality will tell you that's wrong. It's textbook sexual predation mixed with harassment. Power and coercion used to solicit sexual favors theoretically are supposed to take down men even more powerful than some dude starting a rival content farm after being let go from his current one. At least that's what liberal society wants so badly to believe. Meanwhile, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton continued to beat charges en route to the highest judicial and executive seats in the country, but that's another rant for another day. The concern I'm worried about with this isn't necessarily with Blampied himself, but with the culture around him that allows people like him to keep happening. Namely, I was shitposting about what I think should happen to Blampied in reply to someone whining about his departure from Cultaholic.


Ah, the old "why attack the guy I like when WORSE PEOPLE are out there" defense. Putting in cold, objective terms, yes, Harvey Weinstein, who harassed and potentially raped innumerable amounts of women in Hollywood from his position of wealth and influence, and Kevin Spacey, who not only attempted to harass and potentially seduce young men in Hollywood from his position of fame and influence but then tried to come out of the closet only as a means of trying to erase blame for it, technically are accused of worse acts than what Blampied has admitted to doing. The sane, rational point of view would state that this kind of thing really doesn't matter, that he used his power for sexual favor and left the victims emotionally damaged. He needs to have his actions remediated, and he needs rehabilitation at the very least, he himself, not his image. Big distinction.

But if you're famous enough or if a cause is pathologically held enough, people will be willing to rationalize for you or it. The idea of collateral damage comes into play, and no matter if it's a rando online accepting "minor" harassment so some dude who writes clickbait can continue to write it or a United States Senator willing to allow 25 people to be massacred in church just to satisfy his lust for the myth of the "good guy with a gun," human lives tend to be treated as fungible assets in the eyes of people. It's fucking gross. No woman should have to endure the emotional trauma of being sexually violated just so some guy can write listicles about WWE.

Obviously, the way society and the judicial system treats domestic violence and sexual assault is broken, and it factors in greatly to the United States' gun epidemic, since a great amount of men who have massacred tens of victims with automatic weapons also have had histories of abuse. However, the authorities and law continue to be emboldened to stand pat against making any changes because of people like the moron on Twitter thinking Weinstein being an apex sexual predator somehow excuses Blampied of his gross crimes. Leftism is synonymous with radical economics, sure, but it's also rooted in treating everyone with the same basic human respect that you yourself would like to have shown to you. So it's certainly a leftist principle that the idea of collateral damage is fucking bullshit and should be something people strike from their vocabularies and mindsets as soon as possible. When you realize not one person should be abused, attacked, or killed for merely existing, you stop reconciling abusers and their behaviors just because they create stuff that you like.

Using people as a fungible asset is just about the grossest thing one can do, because people are not things to be bartered, no matter how much arch-conservatives long for the days of slavery (even if they don't long for it publicly). Even if you don't buy into the idea that gender is a work (which it is), women aren't things for men to collect and use or abuse. They are people with feelings, thoughts, emotions, agency, and free will. Even if Adam Blampied "only" scammed one woman into sending him nudes, that one woman is one too many. He should not be allowed in a public space until he's rehabilitated himself and made it right by his victims, and even then, what's another White cishet clickbait writer in an Internet full of them? Maybe y'all should find a better writer to latch onto.
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