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Wrestling With Safety

July 2, 2019, 12:00 pm
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Darby Allin, shown here in his EVOLVE days, is the poster child for wrestling never being perfectly "safe"
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
At Fyter Fest, Shawn Spears came out and walloped Cody across the head with a steel chair. Cody did not protect himself. The practice of the unprotected chairshot has become more rarely implemented thanks to advances in research that say concussions can lead to severe depression and reduced brain function, a condition called chronic encephalopathic trauma, or CTE. The move has been widely discussed as tasteless at best, even in the aftermath when it was revealed that at least part of the chair was gimmicked with an aluminum cookie pan. Even though they didn't gimmick it entirely and Spears may have hit Cody with the heavy end, one could say they at least tried. Still, although aluminum is softer and less dense than steel, it is still a metal that, when at thicknesses greater than what one would use in the kitchen to wrap food, can cause a painful impact.

Not ten minutes before, Cody's opponent in the match he had just finished, Darby Allin, took a bump that raised some eyebrows as well, not all of them good. He performed his Coffin Drop senton from the top rope onto the bare apron after Cody had moved. People are already skittish about apron moves, just ask Tetsuya Naito and Kota Ibushi. Where Ibushi careening face-first into the apron was an accident, Allin plummeting onto the apron was by design. One could say that the agents or even Cody himself were not doing Allin a service by putting that spot in or not dissuading him from doing it if he was the one to come up with it.

Both cases highlight people's desire to see safety in wrestling, which on the surface is noble but really, it's a Sisyphean task as wrestling, even at its safest, will never be safe. Even if it was confined to punches and grappling, it wouldn't be safe. Pulling punches does not have a 100 percent success rate, and grappling comes with it the risk of communicable disease (most commonly, staphylococcus) and the body shock that comes from taking bumps on the rougher takedowns. The key to understanding how to make pro wrestling safe isn't in eliminating all risk whatsoever, because then you'd have no matches. Rather, the focus must be on mitigating risk, or limiting the highest risk activities or using controls to make them less risky.

With the chairshot to the head, it appears that they did make the effort to have the violent spectacle to hearken back to an edgier time. What went wrong was that it was a quality control error, which isn't to minimize what happened. Someone didn't do their job completely, whether it be the person who gimmicked the chair, Spears for aiming with the wrong portion of the chair, or Cody for leaning into it wrong. Regardless, it was an error in execution, or what all wrestling fans like myself would call a botch. Like I wrote in the Fyter Fest review, I'm not sure if they'll try it again with a better-gimmicked chair or not, but it's less a flaw in the design as it is one in the execution. That kind of error is more forgivable.

If you think the Allin bump off the Coffin Drop miss was an error, then it's less forgivable. However, part of the attempt to make wrestling safer is not by eliminating all the high-risk stuff, but limiting it to once in awhile. Jeff Hardy didn't jump off the ladder through the commentary desk at every show, just at SummerSlam '09. Fyter Fest was Allin's All Elite Wrestling debut, and he did so by going the full 20 with Cody, who is one of the company's public faces. Even though Fyter Fest, compared to Double or Nothing or All Out, is a smaller show, it was still a chance for Allin to make an impression, hence the big, risky bump. Now, if he does something like that at every show going forward? I might want to think about someone staging an intervention. He's already signed, and if the scuttlebutt is true, he's making some money. He doesn't need to kill himself all the time. Sometimes though, when the moment is right, sure, go flat-back on the apron. Just make sure you have ways of coping with the pain and maybe don't wrestle again for two weeks after.

This post isn't going to give the Safety Police in wrestling too much red meat, because honestly, if you get too worked up about safety in wrestling, you might want to choose another hobby with which to waste your time. Even the most bog standard wrestling match is going to inflict unspeakable longterm damage to every competitor's body in it. It's a hard pill to swallow that you can't make your chosen avenue for recreational viewing perfect. Hockey and American football fans deal with this too, and even in industries where perhaps perfect safety is possible, other things come around to ruin the fun, namely, capitalism.

I think it's more than fair to want pro wrestling companies to manage risk better. By and large, the big non-WWE companies are trying to do that. The best way they can mitigate risk is by not having a billion shows a year like WWE has. Repetition has caused more injury and loss than anything in the world. I would bet you it would take doing a Allin Coffin Drops to the apron for ten shows in a row to replicate the risk of doing one-to-three flat back bumps 200 times in any given year like a WWE wrestler. Just because something looks bad doesn't necessarily mean it's the worst thing that could happen.
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FIST Returns to the Tournament

July 3, 2019, 5:00 am
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It's not Trios without FIST
Graphics via ChikaraPro.com
In 2009, Icarus, along with Gran Akuma and Chuck Taylor, won the King of Trios tournament under the Team FIST banner. It was the height of the reign of the villainous trio, as they felled the epic Team Uppercut in the finals, with Taylor tapping out Bryan Danielson himself. Taylor is off in the lands of All Elite, and while Akuma has come out of his most recent retirement, he hasn't made his way back to Chikara yet. However, that didn't stop Icarus from reforming Team FIST last year, when he recruited Tony Deppen and Travis Huckabee. Last year, they made it to the quarterfinals before losing to their longtime rivals, The Colony. This year, Icarus hopes to do what Fire Ant did last year and win the whole darn thing a second time with new recruits by his side.

Icarus has been entwined with Chikara for so long that even outsiders know what he's about. For neophytes, well, Icarus is the quintessential rudo, who will lie, cheat, and steal, and yet not do any of those things with any of the charm or panache that Eddie Guerrero would use. He's also known for his grotesque back tattoo, which he has used as a cudgel against fans who would rather look at goatse. What of Huckabee and Deppen though? Deppen has gained notoriety around the country, mainly because he's gotten dates for Game Changer and Beyond Wrestling. If he reminds you of Taylor, that means you're paying attention. While he doesn't have the self-deprecative edge that Taylor has, the manic energy and even the facial features are there. In fact, while Chuckie T was known for his short temper with a comedic edge, Deppen takes that quality and turns it up to 11. Huckabee has been more confined to the Philadelphia area, but he has such an old-school shooter aura around him. He grapples with the best of them; in fact, I'd argue he hit his stride a few years too late, as he would have been at home with the Timothy Thatcher/Biff Busick/Drew Gulak/Tracy Williams/Matt Riddle/Fred Yehi uber-grapplers that swarmed EVOLVE a few years ago.

FIST enters the tournament as immediate favorites, but they're not the only team added. You may have noticed I missed last week's announcement, but for total transparency, I didn't know how to write about last week's team because this is the first I've heard of them. The VeloCities of Mat Diamond, Jude London, and Paris DeSilva come speeding across the Pacific from Australia. While they'll be a new taste for many fans attending Trios this year, they come with the highest recommendations from friend of the blog and indie wrestler extraordinaire, Shazza McKenzie. Team FIST and the VeloCities join the following squads:
  • Team Pump (Scott Steiner, Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams)
  • The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Jack Bonza, Adam Hoffman)
  • The Carnies (Kerry Awful, Nick Iggy, Tripp Cassidy)
  • The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, Sal Rinauro)
These six teams and ten more to be announced will participate in the King of Trios tournament. You can bet even more wrestlers will be announced for things like Rey de Voladores and the Night Three Tag Gauntlet as well. Trios this year will be held at the Goodwill Beneficial Association in Reading, PA October 4-6. Tickets are on sale now.
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FOX Wants Trump on Smackdown

July 3, 2019, 7:00 am
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FOX wants the Blobfish in Chief to be on the first episode of Smackdown it airs
Screengrab via Newsweek
WWE is a garbage fire of an organization in terms of its politics. Well, it's a garbage fire in its narrative-building too, but that's less important in the grand scheme of things. Basically, everyone who works in the office kinda sucks. A few of the wrestlers at least are shitty too, but for the most part, it's the people in charge who suck. However, for all the suck that they engage in, they're pretty ashamed to admit it publicly most times. When the news about Jamal Khashoggi dropped last year, they started to drop the name "Saudi Arabia" from all advertising, as if people can't easily look up where Riyadh and Jeddah are. While they're counting on you not to know the shitty things that Mae Young or Jimmy Snuka did in their non-wrestling careers, they know there are some people whose out-of-the-ring exploits can't be hidden, which is why Chris Benoit is now [REDACTED].

Case in point, the current President of the United State, Donald Trump, is a WWE Hall of Famer. Vince McMahon and his family, including your NXT savior Paul Levesque, have donated to him. Linda McMahon served on, or still serves on depending on the source, his cabinet. However, Vince McMahon has made barely any mention of him since he was elected President. You can call it cowardly, smart, whatever. I call it the standard operating procedure when corporate-era WWE is faced with bad publicity. However, if FOX, the new home of Smackdown starting in the autumn, has its way, the WWE Hall of Fame President will make a return for the debut episode.

Sportskeeda, an Indian-based sports news site, is reporting that FOX has approached WWE with a request to invite the sitting President. The report didn't indicate how WWE took the request, and it noted that no one has approached Trump yet with the offer. That being said, it would go against everything McMahon has built for his company recently, and it would also be the most unintentionally hilarious thing in the public sphere since, well, I don't know. That bar gets topped every day:
Anyway, I don't need to tell you what the implications of WWE finally allowing the eagle to land and having the avatar of far right conservatism on its co-flagship. All the talk about inclusion and revolution would be out the window when the guy on tape saying how you should "grab [women] by the pussy" on your show. I mean, he's a fucking safety risk right off the bat. WWE would also be giving a candidate for re-election time to speak, and if you think Trump wouldn't use that time to talk about 2020, well, you're ignorant, plain and simple. Does that mean WWE would be compelled to have Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, and the rest of the crew on RAW? Of course, not because Trump operates above the norms and customs of the Presidency. But I digress.

The only good thing that would come out of him being on RAW would be all the blue wave radical centrists coming out to bag on pro wrestling, as if their charade of treating politics like a sport is 100 times more boring and 1000 times more destructive to society. I mean, it's part of what got this country Trump in the first place. Trump is bad, awful, repugnant no doubt, but if you think he's done more damage historically than the Federal Bureau of Investigation, then I don't know what to say. Yet, one of those Krassenstein brothers put up a tweet that said "WE LOVE THE FBI" when the bureau and Trump got into a spat. I can't wait to see what kind of dumbassery they and other folks have to say about wrestling on the whole, as if WWE represents the wide and deep art that is pro wrestling.

Anyway, I doubt Trump will even get the invite in the first place. But the fact that he's even being considered, be it by the network, which admittedly has gross right-wing leanings, or by WWE, is grotesque. Any company that cares about the safety of its female performers should not have a predator like him roaming around. But I mean, WWE doesn't care about anything but money, so it should be par for the course.
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A Few Notes on Beyond Wrestling's Uncharted Territory, Episode 14

July 5, 2019, 6:00 am
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Hirsch was one of the better reasons to watch Uncharted Territory, ep. 14
Photo Credit: Earl Gardner
When Beyond Wrestling announced it would be doing a weekly live show on Independent Wrestling TV, well, it was mostly met with excitement and promise. Even though it was, on paper, a risky move, the New England-based promotion has had a reputation for putting itself on the line and coming back not just unscathed but better for the experience. If anyone could produce a show once a week for live streaming, it would be Beyond, right? While streaming numbers have been decent for the company, Denver Colorado (the man, not the place!) thought there was room to grow, so he struck a deal with FITE TV to have this week's episode stream for free. Given that the biggest personal barrier I have to watching is that I'm usually tending to my children at this time and then am too tired to sit in front of a computer to watch, the fact that I was able to watch on a big screen (FITE has an app for streaming devices like Roku, IWTV does not) and the fact that the children were down the shore gave me a perfect opportunity to check it out. ETA: I stand corrected, IWTV DOES have a working Roku app.

The best wrestling shows, hell, even the worst wrestling shows like Monday Night RAW, they are easy to pick up whether you hit them at episode one or in this case episode 14. The commentators recapped the main points of feuds going into show, and while I'm sure this episode had developments layered into it that satisfied people who were on board for between one and 13 shows, it was also gratifying for the people tuning in the first time. Wrestling, after all, prides itself on never having an offseason, which is great for a company like Beyond that runs once a week, stays in one geographical area, and doesn't always use the same cast of characters. For a company like WWE that demands its entire roster work four times a week while paying for its own travel expenses to jetset around the country, well, you get the point.

Adding to how familiar the show was, it had a great mix of wrestlers that people knew in addition to exciting new talent as well. Even people who tuned into Uncharted Territory for the first time would know people like Joey Janela, Mike Quackenbush, Chris Dickinson, The Patriot (!!), Marko Stunt, and Nick Gage. Even further down the roster, names like Solo Darling, Josh Briggs, Razerhawk, Cam Zagami, and Sonny Kiss are known to more than a few people around the world. Even if someone never saw, say, Briggs work before, that name gets mentioned on blogs and on podcasts. Again, you're not tuning into Uncharted Territory seeing an entirely new cast of wrestlers unless you're a WWE-only viewer who decided to check out something new on a dare.

But the talent that was less name-value turned out to be the wrestlers who turned the most heads. Obviously, people who tuned into Uncharted Territory in the past know about Bear Country, but that's an act that was mostly confined to the New England area before getting national exposure through streaming. Here you have a dynamic team of beefy dudes in an era where the compass is starting to turn towards bigger dudes, and they are as good as advertised. The funny thing is that in their match against the shrimpy Stunt Brothers, they worked effectively as the babyfaces in a match where a team like them would be the heel. Like, Bear Beefcake spent a good five minutes taking double-team offense looking for the hot tag to Bear Bronson, and it was a brilliant subversion of expectation. If you have two guys who can garner sympathy like that in a weird and unexpected situation, then you can expect them to have crowds eating out of the palms of their hands in any atmosphere.

Leyla Hirsch is another newer talent who knocked my damn socks off. Obviously, those who still watch Combat Zone Wrestling, god bless 'em, know a bit about Hirsch, who has wrestled a few matches there. But again, Game Changer Wrestling has pretty much surpassed CZW in the Northeast Deathmatch scene, for better or worse. Regardless, she's still only in her third year in the biz, and she fills a giant need for an amateur-style female shooter. Yeah, Sonya DeVille and the Four MMA Horsewomen have one corner of the shooter genre filled up, but MMA-themed wrestlers are not the only catch wrestling enthusiasts in that area. I mean, Ronda Rousey, Gina Carano, and Cris Cyborg among others made women's MMA popular. Who are the Kurt Angle and Aleksandr Karelin in women's amateur wrestling? Where is the analogue to Chad Gable? Hell, even discounting amateur wrestlers, where are the women's catch wrestlers in the same vein as Timothy Thatcher and Drew Gulak? That's where Hirsch comes in.

Putting her against Darling, who by her own rights is a good mat wrestler given her pedigree, was brilliant matchmaking. Darling, whom I count as one of the five best wrestlers in America right now, is one of the most versatile competitors in the game, so she was able to stay with Hirsch on the mat and take her to greater heights. It's also a credit to the commentary booth, featuring Paul Crockett and Sidney Bakabella, that they kept up with the narrative, that it started out as a friendly match that got real heated. Hirsch kept the energy, and her highspot of powerslamming Darling on the apron made me hoot and holler on my couch. I've only seen this one match, and I'm already both a gigantic fan of Hirsch's and want to see more of her. She's got an incredible look as well. Although she can't be an taller than like 5'5", she looks as if she was carved from one giant muscle. She is the definition of stacked, and if you put her in the ring against even Brock Lesnar, I'd believe she could whip his non-vegetable-eating ass.

The show from top to bottom though was strong. It had bumps and bruises, but I mean, no show is truly all-killer, no-filler. Aside from Bear Country/Stunt Doubles and Hirsch/Darling, I think you definitely need to watch the Patriot vs. Anthony Greene, the Chikara atomicos match, and the main event between Joey Janela and Josh Briggs. The Patriot/Greene match masterfully played to Patriot's strengths while allowing Greene, who has a bright future as a top heel in whatever promotion will have him, to break out his threatrics. Although the Chikara atomicos match felt dangerously close to going off the rails late, it stayed in bounds and provided a fun spectacle like fans of the company are used to. Seriously, a multi-person Chikara match is the safest bet in wrestling, even safer than NXT Takeover. The main event hit hard and displayed both Briggs' latent misanthropy as well as Janela's reputation of being the craziest dude in wrestling.

Overall, episode 14 felt like Beyond's best foot forward. If this sampling is representative of the whole, then it means Uncharted Territory is the only must-see weekly serial in wrestling right now. It's more than worth the IWTV sub by itself, but if you do sub up to IWTV, you'll get to see Americanrana '19 which will feature Janela taking on David Starr in a 60-minute iron man match, Nick Gage and Thomas Santell teaming up to take on Filthy Tom Lawlor and Bryan Alvarez (yes, THAT Bryan Alvarez), Chris Dickinson vs. Daisuke Sekimoto, and RD Evans challenging for Orange Cassidy's Independent Wrestling Championship. I'd say it's a good deal.
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 266

July 5, 2019, 12:00 pm
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Instant Pot!
Photo via Target.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Sorry, I don't own an Instant Pot. I have an air fryer, an electric griddle, a smoker, and a crockpot, but I do not have an Instant Pot. From what I understand though, an Instant Pot is a pressure cooker, and if I know anything about pressure cookers from Food Network competition shows, they're used to quickly cook foods that otherwise take HOURS to make. So why don't you just get a chuck roast, some beef broth, a couple of onions, several cloves of garlic, some carrots and celery, and just for more flavor, some soup bones. Cut the onions on half, smash the garlic cloves, cut up the carrots and celery. Then salt and pepper the chuck roast and then sear it off. Then when all sides are browned on the surface, put the roast, the bones, the aromatics, and the broth into the Instant Pot and cook appropriately. Voila, you have quick roast beef. If this recipe doesn't work, well, don't blame me.

The trap here is picking just fat guys. Did you know sometimes, people get fat for reasons other than overeating? And that your metabolism slows down a lot when you get fat, so that you can eat less and less? The key is going for people who are jacked or who work out a lot and have shown a proclivity for eating. With that in mind:

1. Otis Dozovic - He's fat, sure, but he's also got muscles, in that he's a weird ovular shape, a capsule packed with some weird mix of blubber and rock solid musculature. I imagine he would take to a hot dog eating contest with all the vigor and enthusiasm as he would with Tucker Knight bulldozing a hapless tag team of puny men.

2. Brian Cage - Remember the Art of Wrestling episode he was on, and he told Colt Cabana that if he didn't have a spoon of peanut butter soon, he was going to die? Yeah, the major consequence of having all those muscles is having to eat constantly so they don't start deteriorating. Starve Cage for like two or three hours, and he will eat any mountain of food you put in front of him.

3. Xia Li - You know how petite Asian women are starting to take over the competitive eating circuit? Xia Li has that going for her AND she's super muscular to kick that metabolism up even more.

4. Matt Riddle - All the common reasons work for him, and he has the added advantage of marijuana munchies heightening his aptitude. Or would pot be a PED for eating competitions?

5. Joey Janela - He seems like the kind of guy who just does things because it's crazy, plus he feels like he either spits in the face of convention or just doesn't have the brain to recognize when he's hit a wall.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
Summer Question: What are your Top 5 shore towns? #TweetBag
Ahh, another listicle.

1. Sea Isle City - I'm biased because my wife's aunt has a house there, so we get to go for free. However, it has a lot of nice eateries, the beach is big and beautiful, and it's easy to get to. I guess familiarity doesn't breed contempt in this case.

2. Ocean City, MD - It's a bit of a hike to get to, but it has a great boardwalk with plenty of great places to eat. You have to eat at the General's House of Chipped Beef, especially if you've had a bit too much to drink the night before.

3. Atlantic City - It has all the trappings of a beach town with the addition of casinos. That is a plus or minus depending on your luck and your impulse control, I suppose.

4. Wildwood - Yeah, it takes two weeks to get from the boardwalk to the beach, but it's a family-friendly destination with free beaches. Plus, the boardwalk is probably the best of the bunch, and it has the Hot Spot, which has the gyro cone in the window as you walk in.

5. Ocean City, NJ - While it being a dry town sucks, it has Piccini, home of the best pizza I've ever had. Plus it has a good boardwalk.

I've let Butch do it on occasion, but the TweetBag is one of my favorite features, mainly because I don't have to think of the prompts. I like that I have engagement from people who mostly give me great questions. I think if I still did Patreon, I'd have a donation tier to do your own TweetBag, but honestly, if I'm being real, me asking money for writing this blog is like a rich sports owner asking taxpayer money for a new stadium. Yeah, I could willingly get the money, but would I really deserve it? Nah. But that's not your question. I guess maybe I could have a guest do it from time to time, but I like doing it too much to fork it over.
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G1 Climax Special Reader's Digest

July 8, 2019, 6:00 am
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Okada, seen booting Jay White here in Melbourne, delivered in the main event spot with an old rival
Photo Credit: NJPW1972.com
Hey, New Japan Pro Wrestling had another one of them American special shows Saturday night, and guess who watched it and is ready to review it FOR YOU? That's right, it's me.

The Guerrillas of Destiny (Tanga Loa and Tama Tonga) vs. Roppongi 3K (SHO and YOH) - If any pro wrestling company had a reputation for allowing for subtext and literary mechanisms in aiding the reader to understand what is happening, I might have called this match foreshadowing for the Will Ospreay/Lance Archer match that was to come. However, I'm not sure I want to give Gedo that much credit, so instead, allow me to talk about power offense and big bumping. GoD throwing around the Roppongi boys looked incredibly good, but unless you've got a complete oaf or a small guy who missed wrestling school the first month, then it would be an upset if it didn't look good. I'm still in doubt of how much I trust the Guerrillas in a "having good matches"-heavy promotion like New Japan. Who knows, maybe the company should just abolish weight classes, at least for the tag division, and let GoD throw around smaller teams on a regular basis?

Jeff Cobb and Ren Narita vs. Tomohiro Ishii and Shota Umino - The Young Lions didn't need to be here, but if they weren't there, then there goes the hook for Cobb and Ishii next week. I mean, they acquitted themselves well, and I look forward to both their excursions, if New Japan still does that sort of thing. Pre-EVIL Takaaki Watanabe had one of the best indie runs I can remember, after all. But really, this match was all about getting people HYPE for the first B-block show. Cobb as a replacement as resident gaijin hoss over Michael Elgin is 1000 percent an improvement. Sometimes, the best way to get someone hooked is to have the guys having the match hoot and holler and make such a ruckus, and honestly, when all the Young Lions and referees had to hold Ishii and Cobb back is when I was most excited. All of a sudden, neither EVOLVE nor Fight for the Fallen seem like the best live-watch options next week.

Hirooki Goto and YOSHI-HASHI vs. Jay White and Chase Owens - The most hilarious thing about this match was Rocky Romero and Kevin Kelly repeatedly exclaiming how important Chase Owens was to Bullet Club. Like, they gave no reason why he'd be important if he only seems to be in multi-man matches or wrestle on American excursion shows. Truth be told, Kelly and Romero were decent at best, but compared to the guys they replaced on the AXS TV broadcast, Jim Ross and Josh Barnett, they were Gordon Solie and Lance Russell. Anyway, that bit was about the most memorable thing from this match, which was just a placeholder. But hey, at least Goto got to do his finisher, which is all kinds of brutal.

Toru Yano, Juice Robinson, and Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Tetsuya Naito, BUSHI, and Shingo Takagi - I'm not sure why the crowd booed Los Ingobernables de Japon so much last night. It could be that LIJ is more beloved in Japan than they are in Texas. It could be that the crowd just loves Liger so much. It could be that LIJ are like Bryan Danielson, in that even when people want to cheer them, they can make fans hate them by their actions. I don't know. However, it was both jarring and impressive. The other thing that I noted from this match was about how well Naito paired with Yano's fun dipshit act. Like, however they mingled together, it felt artful in ways that wrestling rarely shows. It was a diametric opposite from the barbaric brutality that KENTA and Kota Ibushi at least tried to produce in their match, but that's what makes wrestling so magical, how it can go from great heights to incredible depths like the best of rollercoasters.

Lance Archer vs. Will Ospreay - Honestly, I have to put my insane grudge against Ospreay aside to put this match over a bit, because it was a prototypical big vs. small match. I can't get over his stupid faces or the fact that his entire aesthetic can be distilled into this one picture but it was a decent story. When Ospreay puts aside shitty bravado and actually bumps and sells for people, he's not a bad wrestler. I mean, people going all gaga for him as a best in the world candidate when SHO and YOH did highspots as good as he did in the opener is a bit much. That being said, Archer acquitted himself well here as well, throwing his weight around like a guy his size could. Again, will this mean he can handle, say, Bad Luck Fale in a G1 match? Well, it's hard to say. But he did his job well here. Speaking of Fale...

Bad Luck Fale vs. EVIL - You can be bad at wrestling, or you can have awful politics. You can't be both. Fale is both. Like, the commentators mentioned how Fale didn't get pinned or submitted last year, but he still had a 3-6 win/loss record. When you have to go to great lengths to have a dude in a workrate promotion who can only do fuck finishes but can't even wrestle well in garbage matches, then the problem isn't with his opponents or with the promotion. I admit that EVIL tried his best to make this match fun. He's such an incredibly solid wrestler, one of my favorite dudes in New Japan. And you could see the anguish on his face trying to make it work. One of the big reasons why I'm more excited for B-block is that the worst wrestler in that frame is probably Taichi, and he's actually good. Ah well.

Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. SANADA - EVIL's LIJ stablemate had a far better opponent, and they went hard on the mat as one might expect. I feel like this match in particular highlighted why Sabre is such a must-see wrestler. He's good, SO GOOD at one aspect, the catch-as-catch can grappling and countering, but anywhere else and his opponents can get under his skin. The match felt more like it was in SANADA's control than Sabre's, but Sabre hit so many of the big shots that it felt even or even that Sabre was in control. It's pantomime of a sporting event, like seeing the Patriots play football. They have weaknesses that you can exploit and think that you're going to beat them, but then it comes down to it that they become invincible in the fourth quarter. But that wasn't the story here, because SANADA triumphed. It was a really slick counter too. SANADA isn't as known for this kind of wrestling as Sabre, but he more than held his own here. But the thing to remember is that the Patriots lose some of those close games earlier on in the season. This was the first match for both guys in the G1. Of course, if Sabre gets like two or four points total during the duration, this analysis will look like shit, but I doubt he's going to do that badly.

KENTA vs. Kota Ibushi - I think if this match had a slightly brisker pace, like if they didn't start laying around like Undertaker and Triple H at WrestleMania XXVII from the start, this might have been the match of the night. I adore the idea of KENTA having infinite swagger coming out of a disastrous WWE stint with something to prove. Him working as this bitter, grumpy old man despite being on the right side of 40 has such gravitas. Here you have the most influential wrestler of the last two decades, even more so than Danielson (and Danielson will tell you he took so many cues from KENTA), and he's back in the G1 on almost a "prove-it" deal. If anyone could have bounced around the ring for him to make him look good, Ibushi was that dude. For some reason though, the match felt too slow, almost like they were doing a dress rehearsal while hungover. I don't know if it was jet lag or if it was the unfamiliarity of not having wrestled against each other in over a decade or if Ibushi just didn't feel like coming to the office. I was disappointed.

Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi - Some duos are natural: peanut butter and jelly, Cagney and Lacey, Talking Heads and Brian Eno. Tanahashi and Okada are just as remarkable and inseparable, which is funny given the difference in the points of their careers they're at right now. That divergence is greater than it was even in 2013, when they first started wrestling each other. If anything, Okada is where Tanahashi was then, and Tanahashi is pretty much John Cena with a slightly less successful acting career. Yet, them playing the hits still works in 2019, and it was notable in that they still had something new that they could do with each other. Commentary noted that they met three times in the G1 before, with all three matches going to time-limit draws. Here, Okada won clean with the Rainmaker, and the finish showed that man, even with all the nicks and bruises and mileage that when he wants to, Tanahashi can still go hard with the best of them.

So next week, AXS will do the same thing airing the B Block opening show, although it won't be live. Since the show will emanate from Japan, it will be aired on tape delay, but it will be a show not to miss, whether you get spoiled or not. The matches are as follows:
  • Juice Robinson vs. Shingo Takagi
  • Jeff Cobb vs. Tomohiro Ishii
  • Tetsuya Naito vs. Toru Yano
  • Switchblade Jay White vs. Hirooki Goto
  • Jon Moxley vs. Taichi
Personally, I can't wait for that show, and hopefully, I will be able to catch more than just a few shows here and there this year.
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Stand Out and Be Different

July 8, 2019, 8:00 am
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Cassidy is one of the biggest stars in wrestling right now because he's different
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Pro wrestling is like almost any other artform or sport. You have so many people hopping onto trends, whether it be when the Moneyball shift in baseball a decade ago started front offices on valuing players they could pay less money to perform a vital but overlooked task, or in movies when Twilight gave people the idea to adapt The Hunger Games which then gave rise to a whole genre of young adult copycats. Wrestling is no different. Wrestlers see someone like Ricochet gain fame because he can do flips, and all of a sudden the rise of small guys trying to raise the bar more and more with twists and rotations on dives reaches critical mass. In an era of copycats, the one who does something no one else seems to be doing at least gets attention enough to break through.

Everyone knows about Orange Cassidy right about now. His act going supernova, whether you like it or not, shows that a hunger for comedic wrestling exists. Of course, the idea of a comedic wrestler causes a sizeable portion of the greater wrestling fandom to recoil like Stokerian vampires in the presence of sunlight. Even though nothing Cassidy does really violates the wrestling spacetime continuum the way that, say, Chikara wrestlers going into super slow motion or DDT wrestlers pausing in the middle of a match while video footage of what it's like in a referee's mind when he's about to count the pin on a wrestler he spends a lot of time with, but it's different in ways that are new and foreign to them. They're mostly old school fans whom change scares, and I don't want to focus on them. The point is, Cassidy does something no one else in wrestling does, and thus people pay attention to him.

You don't have to look at the upper echelon of wrestlers to find people who get that same mentality of wanting to be different in order to stand out. For example, look at Darby Allin. What does he do differently than other high-flyers? He bumps hard, but he's not the only one. Kota Ibushi, for example, wrestles every match like he hates his body. The way Allin wrestles is so different from other high flyers in that there's a lack of pomp. His big dives are almost passive. He doesn't jump; he just falls. It's almost like he wants to die and is trying to take people out with him. I don't know about you, but an ENTIRE generation of people probably relates with him in that regard. It's a small difference, but it's one that got him noticed at the EVOLVE seminar, pushed to the moon in that company, and both signed and featured in his first match in All Elite Wrestling.

Does that bode big things for another wrestler who stands out on her own? Leyla Hirsch has only been wrestling for Beyond for two weeks, but she's left an impression. Her amateur wrestling-inspired shooter ring style is one that isn't new to wrestling, but for an entire generation of women's wrestling, it's completely unique. Few women have embraced amateur wrestling aesthetic or pure styling like Hirsch. It might not seem like a strong enough shift in paradigm given how popular MMA-style shooter gimmicks are among women, with the Four Horsewomen coming over to WWE, Sonya DeVille catching some moderate main roster success, and prominent female MMA fighters like Cris Cyborg making their wrestling intentions known.

How many of them really embrace the catch-as-catch-can or amateur style? Shayna Baszler has trained with Billy Robinson, but she does not prominently embrace that connection as much as she does her bond with Ronda Rousey. In an indie scene where amateur bonafides are honored, Hirsch has a leg up on everyone else who fits into a more traditional mold. She can usher in another style that women can utilize in their quest for equality and a similar place at the table as men. More personally, she can get more bookings for herself, which is probably a better way of framing the discussion. Again, whether or not she ushers in a golden age of grapplefuck for women is irrelevant. If she can stand out from a group of five or more other women who all work the same sort of indie bastardization of strong-style, she's not going to do it by doing the same thing they're doing, but by doing something completely different.

Obviously, wrestling is always going to have room for the people who do what everyone else does already, because wrestling promoters if nothing else are creatures of habit. That, and what has worked for years still works today, and it works best. The caveat is that if you do whatever it is that is the norm, you have to make sure that you're the best at it, or at the very least are the best at it in your area. If you're one of five people who works a cocky cool heel gimmick with a super-indie workrate, would it be better to continue on that path or by trying something a little different? That's the catch. It's not about not having the staples, but about having more different kinds of wrestlers supporting the staples. Wrestlers like Cassidy, Allin, and Hirsch have shown that by doing something different, whether it be drastic or subtle, can make all the difference in the world.
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On Optics and Intergender Wrestling

July 8, 2019, 10:00 am
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Sami Callihan shouldn't be wrestling men let alone women
Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan
Impact Wrestling, despite everyone (myself included) following its death rattle certain it was about to kick, held its Slammiversary pay-per-view event last night. The former TNA stopped that spiral long enough that it was able to course-correct and find a niche as a haven for indie wrestlers who want some extra cash and the ability to be seen on a national outlet, maybe not as large as its peak but still big enough that it could have a sustainable following enough that it can stay in some conversation and receive coverage from prominent blogs. So it should follow that the company should get some praise for headlining a somewhat major show with an intergender match, right? Well, about that...

Sami Callihan took on Tessa Blanchard in Slammiversary's main event. Now, Blanchard is fine, a prominent wrestler who is good and who has a famous last name, nothing wrong with her. If you want to know why last night's main event was, in a word, bad, it all has to do with Callihan, who continues to wrestle while domestic abuse allegations remain on his ledger with no answer. The dirtiest secret in wrestling is that Callihan once dated a mainstay in the Philly deathmatch scene, a regular in Combat Zone Wrestling no less. She levied the accusations against Callihan, and do you know what happened next? He got signed to WWE to fuck around and be Solomon Crowe for a spell. To say he didn't answer to those accusations would be an understatement, because unlike Rich Swann, who got fired from WWE when news of him publicly attacking his now-wife Su Yung broke, I'm not even sure Callihan has faced a word of heat from it.

It should go without saying that Callihan doesn't deserve to be in wrestling, even if wrestling, like society at large, treats domestic violence like a joke. It further clouds the issue of intergender wrestling, of which critics STILL claim is pantomime of DV in a wrestling ring. The main difference between portraying a man and a woman fighting as a story and the act of DV is that one involves consent of both parties before entering into the arena of combat. Still, regardless of whether a man wrestling a woman is morally right no matter what the reason as long as it is staged like a real fight and not to mimic a situation of DV, the ground you stand upon cannot be stable if you allow someone with accusations of DV against him participate in wrestling someone of a different gender.

Optics are still an important thing to care about. Granted, looking like you do the right thing means nothing when you don't do the right thing. Just look at WWE. Still, intergender wrestling is something you want to get 100 percent right. Let's face it. Even if you do get it completely correct, some critics won't be happy, and they'll continue to stir the pot. Still, it helps when you do things by the book. Allowing an unrepentant abuser get free reign to wrestle a woman is not doing things by the book. Again, Callihan should be in Cell Block Six, not at Slammiversary at this point. But if he has to be on the roster, can he at least be kept away from wrestling women? Like, that should be a no-brainer.

Then again, look at Impact's roster at this point. Not only do they employ Callihan and Swann, but they also signed Michael Elgin after New Japan Pro Wrestling decided it had enough of his shit. Elgin, for those who don't remember, covered for a student of his who was accused of rape, and then it came out that he was abusive to that victim on top of everything else. Impact Wrestling can ditch the name "TNA" and clean up its in-ring reputation all it wants; however, there's a reason why people who continue not to trust that company because they can't remove the letters TNA from their soul continue to be justified.
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The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for July 8, 2019

July 8, 2019, 12:00 pm
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CHAMPION. LEGEND.
Photo Credit: Francisco Seco/AP
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Megan Rapinoe (Last Week: 1) - The United States Women's National Team did the deal and won the Women's World Cup. While Rapinoe didn't play in the semifinal game against England, she scored the first and what would be deciding goal in the final against the Netherlands. Sure, Rose Lavelle added an insurance goal a few minutes later, but Rapinoe in essence won the game and the title. Afterwards, her celebration got all the chuds angry, which is a great bonus.

2. Officer Magnum (Last Week: Not Ranked) - WHAT A GOOD BOY SHOWING UP TO SUPPORT HIS MOMMY AT BEYOND UNCHARTED TERRITORY NAWWWWWWWWWW.

3. Tomohiro Ishii (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, Ishii is great for a number of reasons, but man, I could watch him getting fired up all day. First, everyone should shrug off chops from a Young Lion until that Young Lion graduates. Second, like he barely had to hit Jeff Cobb for me to get super fucking stoked. You could see the look in his eyes. He wanted to maul Cobb, and to be fair, vice versa. My God, my blood is already boiling for B-Block and it's not for another five days.

4. Kawhi Leonard (Last Week: Not Ranked) - It's not that he signed with the Clippers, logistically the best team possible for anyone who isn't a Raptors fan or a fan of the other four teams in the Pacific Division. It's that he gave the Lakers, objectively one of the two least-deserving franchises in the modern NBA, the run-around on their meetings with him all while secretly getting with Paul George on recruitment missions. He rope-a-doped the Lakers only to sign with their co-building rivals. Can you say LEGEND?

5. Complimentary Chips and Salsa at a Mexican RestaurantOFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Mexican food is already the GOAT, but in addition to the entrees, most restaurants, or more pointedly the ones worth their salt, put tortilla chips and salsa on the table before you even order your drinks. Not only is it nominally free, it's also fucking delicious. God bless Mexican food.

6. Nyla Rose (Last Week: 2) - Rose got her blue checkmark on Twitter, which means she now can be Taken Seriously™. Even better? She got hers and MJF is still waiting for his.

7. Liv Morgan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - In her quest to get some fuckin' TV time, she's turned to being an agent provocateur of chaos. I don't hate it.

8. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 8) - How's he preparing for his big Independent Wrestling Championship defense at Americanrana? He's not. That's why he's the best ever.

9. Nick Gage (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Gage not only saved Thomas Santell from certain doom Wednesday, he came out repping the Phillies, which now makes them the only MDK team in all of Major League Baseball. Now if they could only beat teams that aren't the Mets...

10. Otis Dozovic (Last Week: 10 -


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Does Wrestling Have a Bottom? Or Don't Go Low When Critiquing David Starr

July 9, 2019, 6:00 am
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Starr has a ledger, but that shouldn't include revenge porn
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
David Starr has a reputation among most of his fans as being "woke." He speaks out about working conditions in WWE. He supports social justice causes. He seems like an all-around decent guy in an industry full of scumbags. Among other fans, he has a reputation of being an absolute fraud. The first sign is that most of his social justice warring comes in the form of wrestling promos. By definition, a wrestling character is a persona. Some people live their characters, sure. Starr, however, has been shown his own ass enough times that some people are skeptical of his sincerity. For example, last year, he produced a shirt for Pride month but kept all the proceeds from it rather than donating to a LGBTQ+ charity. Starr is not gay. He's had other snafus in the past that let his mask show, but, I mean, profiteering off the struggle of gay people while not being gay and without giving money to any gay charities is enough to make people so mad to think that maybe social justice is just a gimmick for "The Product."

Starr yesterday introduced a some new gear with the Black Lives Matter logo on it. At least this time, he learned his lesson and up front announced that he donates to Black Lives Matter monthly so as not to make it an empty gesture. However, one fellow wrestler saw it as another attempt at misery profiteering. Trey Miguel, a member of the Rascalz stable, saw the link and went off. I'd link to the tweets, but he went and deleted them. Why? Well, he went low:
What was that "beat your dick on PornHub" in reference to? Well...
Yeah, Starr had a falling out with an ex, who accused him of psychological abuse. In case you think there are any babyfaces here, she went and posted what is commonly known as "revenge porn" of Starr online. For those who don't know what that is, it's when someone posts sexual footage of an ex online for the purposes of humiliation. Anyway, the kicker to all this...
All screencaps are courtesy of David Bixenspan, by the way.

The turd cherry on top of the shit sundae is that Miguel also made fun of Starr for crying when he visited a concentration camp, a Nazi one, not one of the active ones the President is operating at the border. I hate that I have to specify which one is which. Anyway, the reason why Starr, who I reiterate is Jewish, cried at a concentration camp is because millions of people like him were executed at facilities such as those and the survivors were tortured and had to live with the immeasurable mental trauma of having been corralled, tortured, and threatened with death. The fucked up thing is the kicker being that Miguel had to drop the "All Lives Matter" bomb. People who say that, no matter what their ethnicity or race, tend to say it not because they think all lives matter. They say it as a stock deflection against people who have grievances. Notice no one said "All lives matter" until people who were sick of being killed for no reason had enough after Michael Brown's murder said "Black lives matter."

Seriously, I am baffled as to what his intent for threatening to post revenge porn. I don't know. What I do know is whatever beef he had with Starr automatically has become unimportant because he had to go and take the lowest road possible. Starr has so much legitimate critiques that you don't have to go resorting to posting sensitive information about him that no one should have. The thing about social justice is that the people seeking it should have justice in mind as well. Vengeance is not justice, no matter how much law enforcement wants you to believe it.

If anything, it goes to show that the depths of depravity and moral turpitude are greater than one might think. I mean, it's not to say that Miguel is worse than, say, SHLAK or Sami Callihan overall, but trying to use emotion over the Holocaust as an attempted one-up in an online flame war is a salvo that runs pretty deep in the trenches of wrestling shittiness. I guess it goes to show that no one is a sacred cow, and nothing is off the table. Even people with agreeable politics can't be considered blameless. I mean, Starr already proved he has carny instincts, and Sami Zayn spent over a decade in a racist caricature of a Mexican person. Zack Sabre, Jr.'s socialism or Dick Togo's communism can't be used as shields. It sucks, but it's a harsh reality that this business that started as grift in the carnival could attract so many shady and shitty characters.

EDIT: I had to make a correction; it wasn't merchandise but gear.
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A Perfect Spot From... a Backyard Wrestling (Tribute) Show?

July 9, 2019, 8:00 am
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Tony Deppen throws a nice chair
Screenshot via GCW YouTube
Backyard wrestling has a checkered reputation, but overall, I think it's something to celebrate. There's something charming about kids who defiantly "try this at home" and in the process learn how to wrestle in the most DIY way possible, eschewing paying thousands of dollars to go to wrestling school in the process. Many current wrestlers today have backyard histories, like Fred Yehi for example. Backyard wrestling is a phenomenon that uniquely shaped wrestling in the last 25 years for better or worse. I'd probably say it's for the better, but that's just me. Game Changer Wrestling also seems to think it bettered the wrestling world, because they ran a show in tribute of backyard wrestling on July 4.

The show had all the trappings of a backyard wrestling extravaganza, including a ring set up in someone's backyard (obviously), current wrestlers doing shitty backyard gimmicks, and "pyro" that amounted to guys shooting off Roman candles, in one case, shooting one accidentally at himself instead of in the ring. It wasn't perfect, although I'd chalk that imperfection up more to the fact that GCW can't stop booking SHLAK. Seriously, even if you buy that he isn't a Nazi anymore, the dude wrote and hasn't apologized for writing a song that calls rape "surprise sex." No one should book him. At all. Even if the goal is just to shoot fireworks at him, but he'd probably like that too much.

Not everything at this show was bad, and I'd venture to say that it was mostly a refreshing and vital show in the wrestling parlance. That's at least the word from people who watched it. I could only follow along with .gifs but one of those moving pictures was so stunning that I have to share and comment on it. Alex Zayne, an up-and-coming dude from the Mid-South/Ohio Valley area got the invite to the show to wrestle Tony Deppen, who GCW and Chikara faithful know incredibly well. Check this spot out from when Zayne tried to do a long-distance shooting star press:
Allow me to break it down. First, the spot's conceit is a backyard staple, doing a high spot from an elevated surface that's not the top turnbuckle. It looks like he jumped from the roof of either a shed or the production trailer. Either way, that's ten points for authenticity. Second, that is a form-perfect shooting star press. Like, it doesn't get any better than that, just beauty in rotation. Third, that chair throw is not only perfectly timed, but it went right into his shoulder. Granted, you're not going to pull off a spot like that in a perfectly "safe" manner; no spot in wrestling is perfectly "safe." But if you're gonna rocket a steel chair into your opponent, you're better off going for the shoulder and not the head. And the chair was thrown with such velocity too. Finally, what is a notable backyard wrestling spot that doesn't have a hint of danger? Zayne almost went headlong into a cinder block. Thankfully, he did not, but man that added hint of danger was the cherry on top of the sundae.

Spots like this are what make backyard wrestling not only fun but vital to the lifeblood of wrestling. It gets a bad reputation, but honestly, where would wrestling, deathmatch, indie, or otherwise, be today without kids indulging their love of the sport/art firsthand and not just through watching or playing video games? I'm glad GCW paid tribute to the backyard ring, because honestly, that promotion in general would not be what it is today without backyard wrestling.
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To Whom Does WWE Cater?

July 9, 2019, 10:00 am
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Lynch's post-WrestleMania has made me wonder whom WWE caters to
Photo Credit: WWE.com
WrestleMania XXV closed with Becky Lynch standing the tallest that she ever has been in her professional wrestling career. She got to be the first wrestler to pin Ronda Rousey, and apparently, that was a mistake finish as she was supposed to tap the "Baddest Woman on the Planet" to close the show. She was crowned on the biggest stage possible in WWE's home territory. Obviously, in wrestling, you have little-to-no time to rest before your next challenge, and as the biggest star in the company, even if just for that moment, you'd think she'd have gone onto bigger challenges, or at least ones commensurate to the mountain she climbed at Mania, right? Well, the one feud that could have sustained her, vs. Charlotte Flair, was scuttled after one pay-per-view match, where she lost the Smackdown Women's Championship to her bitter rival as a mechanism to get Bayley to cash in her Money in the Bank briefcase. As it turned out, her other feud match, vs. Lacey Evans, would be the one that would sustain her until (through?) SummerSlam. That turn of events is like your dad pulling into the McDonald's drive-thru and ordering one (1) black coffee.

To add insult to injury, WWE decided that the subject of the final image of this year's Mania would have a subplot of her real-life relationship with fellow Mania winner Seth Rollins be made into a storyline. They've been wrestling a bunch of mixed-tag matches lately, including one last night where apparently, it was an elimination tag match in a company where men aren't allowed to wrestle women in mixed tag matches. So what, if Lynch had eliminated Zelina Vega and if Andrade "Cien" Almas had eliminated Rollins, would the match have been considered a draw? I mean, Lynch tapped out Mike Kanellis the week before, but he was due for a humiliation afterwards, and you know Vince McMahon likes nothing more than stacking humiliation in multiple layers. Of course, WWE doesn't get the legitimately cool things that happen upon the company well, so how did it play off the thing they got when they pried into two wrestlers' social lives and made their personal relationship into an angle? You guessed it, bad:


I mean, I guess it's refreshing to see the man be fetishized and objectified for once, but I mean, what made anyone think this t-shirt idea would be constructive for Rollins or Lynch? Like, fans of Lynch probably don't want to associate her with Rollins, who by the way is a known cheater with poor taste. Fans of Rollins probably are getting in their feelings about how he's a victim of reverse sexism or something. You think I'm joking, but the whiny critics of social justice movements are getting louder and louder. About the only fans who like this shirt are fans of irony because they can whip out references to William Regal's first, short-lived WWE gimmick during the Attitude Era.

But it got me wondering what fans WWE is even catering to anymore other than the group of fans who will praise whatever it does no matter how inane or grotesque. Like, it's not courting fans of real sports build because if that were the case, what reason would they have for giving a NXT callup an immediate shot at the WrestleMania show closer? It's not for fans of women's wrestling because Lynch immediately was placed from her starring role into a meaningless feud and as a doting girlfriend. I mean, at least Daniel Bryan's first (and only) feud after his Mania triumph was against someone who had cache in WWE at one time and who was tied to him. It's certainly not for wrestling fans or else they wouldn't be pushing the boss' son as a top star while the dude who should be in that spot is his muscle-headed lackey. It's not for fans of drama either as most feuds consist of an endless string of matches with some segments interspersed in that may or may not be entertaining.

I guess WWE will tell you its for fans of "moments," which is about as vague and insulting as anyone can put it. They'll tell you they're in the business of putting smiles on faces, but whose smiles on what faces are they speaking? I have no clue. WWE can put people like Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff in charge or go back to the edginess of the pre-Chris Benoit days or promise any kind of cosmetic changes possible, but the only way it'll ever get better is if it totally remakes the creative process. I'm not sure McMahon is the only problem; since going corporate, the results have shown a labyrinthine creative process where no one has any clear plan for the long term, only week-to-week agendas.

I think it would help if WWE actually had its brass sit down and decide what fans it wanted to go after. Because man, Becky Lynch's post-WrestleMania itinerary has done nothing to inspire anyone to say "there's no ethical consumption under capitalism" and sub to WWE Network or watch every Monday and Tuesday outside of anyone who already is doing so. I look at her going from Rousey and Flair to being in a bad dating angle and wrestling the Bad Food Pictures lady, and I can't think anyone could ever change their minds on what WWE is doing.
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No Trio This Week, but the First Rey de Voladores Announcement!

July 9, 2019, 12:00 pm
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The first entrant in this year's flippy tourney!
Graphics via ChikaraPro.com
Chikara has taken a break on announcing teams for this year's King of Trios tournament for this week. However, that doesn't mean they're taking off from announcements in general. As many know, Trios doesn't just host the massive, 48-wrestler tournament over three days. It also has a unique, eight-wrestler fray known as Rey de Voladores, which features the best and brightest of the high spot crowd. Two four-way matches take place on Night 2, and the winners of those meet up in the finals. In 2011, the finals produced one of my favorite matches ever and perhaps the best match I was in the house for, El Generico vs. the 1-2-3 Kid. This year's first announced wrestler is none other than Boomer Hatfield, the only wrestler of his surname that still has a mask.

Hatfield is a rising star in Chikara who has gone supernova in such a short time. He has garnered critical acclaim for his work in the ring, and the reason why he's the only masked baseball head in Chikara is because he beat his dad, current Grand Champion Dasher, in a lucha de apuesta with both of their hoods on the line. In some ways, that win is bigger than any potential title win he could've had, since he straight up took the identity of not only his dad and a long-tenured Chikara stalwart, but of the Grand flippin' Champion. Hatfield is far more aerially inclined than his father, and he should stand out pretty well in this fray. While he's not in the main tournament this year, this will be his second King of Trios event that he'll be competing. Last year, he teamed with dear ol' Dad and Mark Angelosetti, losing in the first round after then-Grand Champion Angelosetti broke his leg.

Hatfield is the first of eight other wrestlers to be announced this year. I imagine the whole field won't be announced ahead of time, as there must be some room for Night 1 losers to enter, as is tradition. Joining the RdV crowd are the following six trios for the main tournament:
  • Team Pump (Scott Steiner, Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams)
  • The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Adam Hoffman, Jack Bonza)
  • The Carnies (Kerry Awful, Nick Iggy, Tripp Cassidy)
  • The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, Sal Rinauro)
  • The VeloCities (Mat Diamond, Jude London, Paris DeSilva)
  • Team FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, Travis Huckabee)
King of Trios takes place in Reading, PA this year October 4-6 at the Goodwill Beneficial Association. Tickets are on sale now.
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Sasha Banks Went to Go Learn Joshi

July 10, 2019, 6:00 am
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Banks went and got some extended training over in Japan
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Sasha Banks has been AWOL from WWE since WrestleMania, where she and Bayley lost the Women's Tag Team Championships. The sticking point is that they allegedly didn't tell Banks and Bayley they would lose those titles until the day of the show despite having it in the works for longer than one day, which is par for the course for a company that, well, sucks. WWE has not released her, because they don't release anyone anymore, especially someone whom they still have a lot of faith in to pull numbers for them, even if they don't see her as valuable enough to tell ahead of time that she'd be losing at title. So basically, she's been at home doing whatever it is she wants to do while getting paid. That sounds like the sweet life if you ask me.

However, she apparently has gotten a little stir-crazy, as she made a trip this week. Sasha Banks footed her own way to Japan to go train under the GOAT herself, Meiko Satomura. Cagematch Dot Net's STRIGGA translated on Twitter:



Banks already is an accomplished pro wrestler who had the world (myself happily included) eating out of her hand during her epic NXT Women's World Championship reign in 2015. She has all the reason in the world not to want to improve, but when she says she loves wrestling, she walks the walk. I'm not sure how much longer her WWE contract lasts for. Banks training at the Sendai Girls gym to me is more tantalizing than the prospect of her improving to go back to WWE. Like, that makes me want to see her vs. Satomura or any number of Joshi greats across Japan.

Then again, it's also worth mentioning that Satomura has had a relationship with WWE in the past. She worked the second Mae Young Classic at the very least. I'm not sure if that relationship runs further, and that's why Banks went there instead of, say, Oz Academy or the STARDOM Dojo or whatever. Regardless of reason, Banks going to Japan is still the most exciting concrete news about her since she rightfully walked out on WWE. It's also incredibly funny that she just up and went to Japan, and Tokyo Sports got the scoop on it while every American outlet that thinks reporting on her social media likes is trenchant was left holding their genitals. I feel like Banks is about to resurface in some way, and while her going back to WWE feels like the play, as boring and disappointing as that'd be, she'll still bring something new to the table, which at least will be exciting.
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So THAT's Why Kota Ibushi vs. KENTA Was Underwhelming

July 10, 2019, 8:00 am
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Ibushi injured himself in the above match vs. KENTA
Photo Credit: NJPW1972.com
Kota Ibushi vs. KENTA was one of the most anticipated matches of the G1 Special show this past Saturday. Reviews across the board were mixed, but I wasn't a fan. Something felt off, and now, Ibushi has revealed what that might have been. He screwed up his ankle something fierce during the match. If you didn't like the match, you have a convenient reason to blame. If you did like it, now you can another reason to crow about it being good despite the injury. Either way, you can see visual evidence here, although if you're squeamish, I'm not sure you should look. Beware.

The actual injury he suffered is unknown. Ibushi was able to confirm that he didn't break any bones and that it was probably a sprain. He's already walking around on it, crediting advanced oxygen treatment and "abnormal natural self-healing powers" for his progress. I think now is as good a time to mention that Ibushi comes from money, and that he probably got into gonzo-bumping wrestling because he was bored. It should follow that he thinks he's got a bit of Wolverine in him. Ah well.

Hopefully, New Japan will have the foresight to keep him out of this Saturday's B-Block opener. You can hype his next A-Block match without putting him in one of those early-card tag matches. Of course, it's not a guarantee, as New Japan has ridden wrestlers with bangs and bruises that weren't severe enough to keep them from doing wrestling before. I guess this is a thing where they play it by ear. I'm not privy to New Japan's booking plans, but unless Ibushi is booked to win his block, I'm not sure I wouldn't have him forfeit his next match just to be safe. I mean, there's a chance that the pictured injury looks gnarlier than it actually is, but right now, all I have to go on is said picture.
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Jon Moxley Responded to Seth Rollins' Brown-Nosing, and He Was... Diplomatic?

July 10, 2019, 10:00 am
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Ambrose replied to Rollins' comments but not in the way you think he might
Photo Credit: WWE.com
In between beats of the worst Twitter feud ever with Will Ospreay, Seth Rollins took time out to slam former stablemate Jon Moxley on a podcast reading from a cue card handed to him from Paul Levesque. Basically, in no uncertain terms, Rollins accused Moxley of being too soft for the rigors of the WWE schedule and called him presumptuous even though I'm not entirely sure he knows what that word means. If my "brother" said shit like that about me, I'd be furious. I was left to assume Moxley felt the same way until he finally spoke on the issue on the Store Horsemen podcast.

Moxley spoke on a lot of things, but the item of most interest was his response to what Rollins said about him. He didn't express anger over it, and in fact, he was quite diplomatic. Maybe it's because I don't know him outside of his in-ring persona, but it was surprising.
There’s this episode of Frasier I was thinking about the dog, Eddie, is really depressed, and he’s all sad, mopey, and they don’t know what. He won’t eat, you know, they don’t know what’s wrong with him. The vet doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. So they hire a dog psychiatrist to examine him, and then the comedy ensues for the next 26 minutes. But then at the end of the episode they find a toy was like stuck under the couch. And then all of a sudden everything’s good! He’s like "oh!" and he’s not depressed any more. It was just the toy, the thing that he likes to do.

For me like, that’s all it was. Now that the fog has continually lifted more and more, and I kind of realize how deeply unhappy I was there, that I didn’t realize at the time because I was like "well, I’m making a bunch of money and it seems like it’s going good!" Now I’m like, I’m kind of realizing how much it affected me. But now it’s like "oh! I found my toy under the couch, pro wrestling, again. It’s all good!"

Even like when I did that podcast, that was like a couple weeks removed. I hadn’t debuted at Double or Nothing yet, it had just been months of me being silent while everybody else is talking about my career, my life and everything, telling me what I’m gonna do, and where I’m gonna go, and what’s happening. Cause I just stayed silent the whole time. So that was a frustrating time, to hear everybody else talking about you, when they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. So it was like my first words. I was a little jumpy. Like, it was like, pretty emotional, you know?

But it’s almost like you have a fight with your wife or girlfriend or whatever, then you have some sex and then the next morning you’re like, "what were we fighting about? Oh that’s so stupid." Now it’s like, whatever it is, a month or two later, I could never replicate that podcast cause I’m like "what? what was I - it’s all good."
To be honest, putting Rollins' comments and his reactions to them in that perspective is about the most mature thing I've ever seen a wrestler say or do. It's pretty surprising given that anytime you have a beef in wrestling, the participants want to turn it into a work. Again, look at that shitty Rollins/Ospreay thing. Moxley appears to be wired completely differently, which is both refreshing and weird. Still, I can't begrudge him. If he doesn't hold hard feelings towards Rollins, for whatever reason, I'm not sure anyone else should, at least on that front.

But again, it doesn't change the fact that Rollins took the opportunity to take a dump on his "brother" when the boys in the office laid it on him. I guess that's the difference between him and even Roman Reigns, whom everyone thought of as the office's "guy." He's loyal to WWE, sure, but he's not looking for approval. Maybe because he knows he has it? He at least acts like it, while Rollins' behavior shows classic insecurity. But here I am talking psychology when my degree is in engineering. I'm probably talking out my ass. The point is, Moxley is a super chill guy even though he plays neurotic too, too well.
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nZo and Joey Janela Got into a Fight at a Blink-182 Concert

July 10, 2019, 12:00 pm
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Janela got into a dustup with a never-was last night
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Last night, Blink-182 played the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ, which is a stone's throw across Raritan Bay from Staten Island. This event is notable for wrestling purposes because noted wrestler and gonzo promoter Joey Janela attended that concert. So did disgraced former WWE wrestler and accused rapist Enzo "nZo" Amore. The former caught wind of the latter, and according to Janela, went over to introduce himself. nZo took umbrage with it and instigated, according to Janela, "the shittiest fist fight of the year." I have no reason not to believe Janela's account of the fight because nZo himself corroborated it (CW: gross sexist stereotyping about the female genitalia). He later went onto say that Janela "caused a scene" while nZo was talking to friends or whatever. The most unbelievable part of this is that nZo has friends, but that's neither here nor there.

Janela's played the whole thing off really ironically, in the "ha-ha" sense, which would've led me to believe that he was trying to brush off an ass-kicking. However,. nZo posted an Instagram video of... them squaring up but not doing anything? It looked like he was backing away the whole time. If nZo got the better of him, which from his Twitter preening he believes, why not post video of him dusting Janela up? This, more than either guy claiming it was real and not a work makes me think it wasn't a work. Like, if it was, you'd show a scuffle at least. Instead, nZo basically is showing him doing the only thing he's ever done well, running his yap.

Honestly, nZo accusing Janela of clout-chasing is hilarious since he's the one who tried raising a scene at Survivor Series this past November by sneaking in and standing on his seat drawing attention to himself. I mean, whether he was trying to parlay that into an angle to return to WWE or stick it to his former employer while mollifying his "brand," I mean, that's the very definition of chasing clout. Janela, meanwhile, has become one of the biggest names on the indie scene through his Spring Break shows and his hardcore match with Jon Moxley at Fyter Fest. It's all just bitterness.

The thing is I understand not wanting to be bothered when I'm out. I'm not famous at all, and there are times when I don't want to be bothered by anyone. I wouldn't be surprised that after nZo first shot him down that Janela said something flippant to him. That being said, even if Janela was abrasive to him, like, if he's that much more famous than Janela is, he could have just not been an antagonistic dick and called security?

See, that's the thing about all this. No matter how I can imagine Janela being the main instigator here, it's hard for me to believe that nZo could ever have diffused the situation because of his massive ego and his belligerent personality. Add that to the fact that he's an accused rapist and I feel like he took this situation as a way to, again, raise his brand because he could get one over on someone he thought was below him. Even if I feel Janela was in the right, no one comes out of this looking good though, but I mean, I doubt anyone remembers this in a month unless it becomes a meme. And knowing some sectors of Wrestling Twitter (of which I'm admittedly part of), it just might become one.
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The Battle of Los Angeles Has A Third of Its Field Filled Out

July 11, 2019, 7:30 am
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Gresham leads a strong first third for this year's BOLA
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
When you think of annual wrestling tournaments, a lot of yearly frames come to mind, which is good. Wrestling tournaments are perhaps the best things the industry can offer from an in-ring standpoint. The G1 Climax, King of Trios, the Scenic City Invitational, the JT Lightning Invitational, and the Tournament for Tomorrow are all exciting and get fans of their respective promotions all hot and bothered. However, one could argue that Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's Battle of Los Angeles trumps every other tournament that takes place in the calendar year except for the G1. Over the last few years, the tournament has had 24 entrants and taken place over three days, and this year is no different. PWG has been announcing wrestlers every day on its Twitter. The field of 24 has eight confirmed entrants. They are listed below:

A-Kid - If you're a Chikara fan, you'll recognize this name from the 2017 King of Trios, where he was part of Team White Wolf. Just as Mark Andrews, Pete Dunne, and Moustache Mountain before him, he used that Chikara spotlight to catapult into a regular PROGRESS gig, where he has become the latest European breakout wrestler. He's completed the big journey now as the first name entered into BOLA. If you're into that sort of thing, he received a five-star rating for his match with Zack Sabre, Jr. at White Wolf Wrestling Total Rumble 8.

Jonathan Gresham - Gresham isn't the biggest name announced thus far among the American indie portion, but he is probably the best wrestler. A sublime grappler, I feel like he'll get a big stage during BOLA weekend. He's not only great against other mat wrestlers; he can have incredible matches with wrestlers of all styles. I'd say go back to his Independent Wrestling Championship defense against Nick Gage in November of '17 for a good look at what he can do outside of his comfort zone. Gresham, who works for Ring of Honor, will look to continue the grand tradition of PWG pushing the best and brightest guys from ROH before ROH even gets the idea that they're on their roster.

Artemis Spencer - This name came out of leftfield, but it's a good one. Spencer works in the same circles in the Pacific Northwest as Nicole Matthews and El Phantasmo. When I tell you Elite Canadian Championship Wrestling is the real deal, you best believe me. Spencer looks to be another from the Vancouver-area promotion to break out and put his stamp on the greater wrestling world.

Darby Allin - Allin is no stranger to PWG, recently competing in a Guerrilla Warfare (read, no holds barred) match against Joey Janela. I don't need to tell you about Allin's reckless bumping and "I hate myself" style of highspots, but I will anyway. His "goth little brother" aesthetic and fearlessness when it comes to hurtling his body into other people and from great heights will make him a fan favorite throughout. While I don't think he'll win because his All Elite Wrestling exclusivity starts in October, he should go pretty deep into the thing.

Mick Moretti - Before going into battle at King of Trios with Adam Hofmann and Jack Bonza, Moretti will be the latest Aussie import to try his hand at BOLA. Again, a Chikara stage allows another wrestler from a non-America country to get better bookings. I'm not sure what his outlook is, but I mean he'll have the chance to wow the SoCal crowd the same as he did Easton last year.

Orange Cassidy - Cassidy got his shot in PWG this year against fellow Gentleman's Club alumnus Chuck Taylor. How will other wrestlers in the field deal with his extreme hangover-style? Honestly, no matter whom he gets, he'll wind up stealing the show. He's not mega over everywhere he goes to the tune of carrying the Independent Wrestling Championship on his slacked shoulders for no reason.

Bandido - Like Gresham, he'll be representing the "guys PWG needs to push before ROH notices them" crowd. Like Allin, he's no stranger to PWG. Bandido is a strong contender to win the whole thing, as he's been a big deal in PWG for awhile, and if he does win, he'll be a strong candidate to dethrone Jeff Cobb as Champion. And if he does win, he'll excite everyone along the way with his breakneck style of wrestling.

Caveman Ugg - I was expecting a caveman wrestler to be announced, but I'm surprised it's this one instead of Barbaro Cavernario. Still, from what I've seen of Ugg on social media and gifs, he's a bigger dude who will delight in throwing the smaller wrestlers like Allin around. He should be a fun entry into the tournament, taking Jonah Rock's place as the big dude from Oceania.

The next 16 names over the next two-plus weeks will be interesting to see. Will Champion Cobb enter? What about other mainstays like Chuck Taylor, Brody King, Puma King, Flamita, and Jungle Boy? How about new names? I guess it'll be worth putting out alerts for the PWG Twitter account the rest of the month.
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 267

July 11, 2019, 11:00 am
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The Board Man got paid AND recruited help to his new team
Photo via @TheUndefeated
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Maybe it wasn't a signing, although I fully expected Kawhi Leonard to sign with the Lakers, but when Leonard got the Clippers to trade for Paul George, that took me the most by surprise. I thought that as situated, the Clips would be a good fit for Leonard, but adding George makes them the favorites to win the whole thing. Someone said that team has a Michael Jordan-Bulls feel to it, and I'd be hard-pressed to disagree. That being said, I thought the Thunder were going to try to run it back. I had no idea George was on the trading block until he went to the Clippers.

I'd say "stop paying attention to him," but you and I could block him on Twitter and Instagram and term-mute "nZo," but as long as you have chuds who claim he got a raw deal because the "rape charges were dropped" or copy/paste sites who hang on his words when he pops up from time to time, the general public is not going to escape his scrawny ass. It also bears mentioning that Joey Janela admitted that he was going clout-chasing by picking a fight with nZo, which I'd be mad at if I didn't think that nZo deserved to get his ass kicked. However, even if Janela never encountered nZo at that concert, you'd still be subjected to the inanity the next time he popped up. So the best way to make nZo go away is probably to lock him in a steamer chest and shoot him into Jupiter's Great Red Spot, which is to say as long as he keeps running his mouth and the lesser wrestling sites treat his shitty, homophobic tweets like press releases, that won't happen.

Because if I don't, who will?

In all seriousness, the TweetBag is a great exercise in that I answer questions I didn't think I needed to answer. It gets the brain juices flowing. For that, I'm alright with it.

Max contracts are easy. No, there shouldn't be max contracts; the scumbag owners should have to pay market value for the best players. I could argue Kevin Durant, even sitting a year out with an injury, is worth more than what he was allowed to get, way more than Mikhail Prokhorov or Joseph Tsai deserve to make off that franchise. Ideally, the NBA should be a player-owned collective where everyone makes roughly equal amounts, give or take some elevators for performance I suppose, but until then, fuck your Basketball Revenue splits and give the players their loot.

On the draft, I'm more conflicted. On one hand, players theoretically should have the freedom to move to whatever franchise they want right out of the gate. It's against all leftist principles to make someone go to a place they don't want to and work for a company they don't want to in the name of a parity the league will never achieve. Seriously, of the four big sports leagues, the NBA is the most allergic to parity, even moreso than baseball.

However, are NBA franchises separate companies, or are they branch offices of a larger company, the NBA? And just because the league will never reach parity, does that mean it's a good idea to stop trying? Personally, I don't want a league where all the best young players decide they want to play in New York, Los Angeles, Florida, Texas, or possibly Chicago over every other team. Sure, not every great prospect will be able to get contracts with those teams, but at the same time, enough of them would which would make having teams in, say, Minnesota or Detroit virtually worthless. The NBA is a winter league, and having New York and possibly Chicago as the only cold-weather cities that get to enjoy the winter sport would be terrible. So I'd begrudgingly keep the draft. Both scenarios are problematic, but I'll keep the one that will allow a team like the Jazz or the Cavaliers to have a chance rather than seeing every prime prospect sign with the Lakers or Nets.

The REAL question is would I eat that Pokémon in one sitting or would I eat the Gigantamax version over an entire week? The answer, of course, is yes.

Well, if the rider was I HAD to use it for wrestling, then my three would be going back and giving Vincent J. McMahon a condom the night Vincent K. McMahon was conceived, buying a ticket for the Antonio Inoki/Muhammad Ali "shootfight," and then going back to witness Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's Enchantment Under the Sea, the site of the infamous Bryan Danielson/Claudio Castagnoli headlock match.

First off, tag your damn porn. Second, I don't have a Culver's near me, which is a shame given how good that goddamn cone looks. Just poking around the site, there are too many good looking flavors on there, so I'll throw a dart and say Snickers Swirl.

Depending on the recipe, any fruit can go on a pizza. Like, a suckling pig pizza with roasted apple slices sounds really good. Or perhaps you want a brie, pear, and caramelized onion pizza. I know South Africans put banana on pizza, which actually sounds really good. Have you ever had a fried banana? It's good. Basically, I'm a pizza leftist; put whatever you want on it, unless it's mayonnaise. Mayonnaise doesn't go on anything.

I think there are definitely criticisms of Bernie Sanders that are valid. Sanders, though the leftmost candidate running this year who isn't planning on dropping out after the debates or is controlled by several rowdy teens, Weekend at Bernie's-style, leaves a lot of room to his left if that makes any sense. The problem is that most of the "progressives" attacking him that aren't socialists are to Sanders' right, so either they attack him from their right-wing tendencies, or in the cases of many an ex-Hillary Clinton staffer, because they see him as the reason their Slay Kween lost to Donald Trump, not the rampant voter suppression that they turned a blind eye or non-resistance to, or the fact that Clinton decided "running up the score" in states she knew she'd win was more important than spending any campaign capital on Rust Belt states that she lost on razor thin margins. So basically, what you get is critiques of Sanders that are insane to think about. Like when this week he tweeted that Jeffrey Epstein will more than likely get off of his heinous charges while "[people] of color and working class [people]" get railroaded for less. He's not wrong! Yet people like Zerlina Maxwell and Melissa McEwan and Imani Gandy LAMBASTED him because... his tweet wasn't intersectional enough? He thinks POC can't be working class? I'm unclear here.

The problem is that all this agita being caused by a "Radical Center" that thinks racism and sexism can be wished away in the oppressive structure of capitalism, at least the vocal anti-Bernie people on Twitter, don't mean much when so many voters are ripe to be radicalized by Sanders' message. People like me end up getting heartburn over stuff that doesn't matter. But the root of the issue is that while Sanders is going to be an improvement over even Barack Obama, he's still shown he has poor foreign policy instincts (although he's WAY better than everyone else) and his rhetoric on guns is a bit iffy, among other things. However, no one will attack him on those issues because by and large, they agree with him. Most of the people who are in a position to critique Sanders are too radical for American public office, or they're working with him on other things in Congress if they are elected. Ilhan Omar, for example, is probably the most leftward leaning member of Congress. She's not going to go in on Sanders because she can work with him to get shit done. It's a strategy the right has employed for years, and it's gotten this country where it is now. Maybe it's time for the left chambers of this country to start listening to the voices further to the extreme, because really, left extremes tend to enrich everyone, whereas right extremes only enrich those who already have power.

I used to be on Team Air Conditioning, and it's still one of the best ways to beat the heat. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, and going from my old house with a nice new unit with good ductwork to my current house with a shitty old unit and arcane ducting, well, it makes me appreciate my car's AC unit. However, I feel like taking a dip in the pool surpasses it now. My family and I go to the swim club, and I am almost in the pool as much as the kids are. Even if the water isn't freezing cold, it provides refreshment that lasts long after you get out. So put me down for swimming.

You're right on Yamper, but while the Duraludon/Tyranitar Mechagodzilla/Godzilla parallel is intriguing, I'm going with Corviknight. Who doesn't like a black raven with arcane features. Wait, Steelers fans don't? Ah, I'm from the right part of the state. Anyway, the designs on the new Pokémon outside of the starters has been really good so far, so I hope Grookey, Scorbunny, and Sobble have cool evolutions.

It's because of sexism and the deep-rooted feeling that women are inferior to men in any strenuous endeavor. It's wrong, mainly because women CAN develop the way men do to be suited for athletics. It's just society seems to want women only to push out babies, which, uh, hey, the Earth has enough women willing and able to procreate and propagate the species. Y'all don't need EVERY woman/AFAB person to be able to pop out a baby. I guess the other reason, which is related to the first one, is that sponsors pay less money for women's sports than men's, which again, feeds off misogyny. Either way, it's a wrong that should be righted, regardless of whether the women's team is better than the men's. Equal pay for equal work.
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NXT In 60 Seconds for July 3 and 10, 2019

July 12, 2019, 9:50 am
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Breezus returned to Full Sail against Strong competition
Photo Credit: WWE.com
July 3

Aliyah: comes out with her work wifey
Nigel McGuinness: uses this to launch into some of Queen's One Vision, already making this a great show
Mia Yim: comes out to a good pop
Full Sailors: Mia! Mia! Mia! Mia!
Aliyah: dodges and mocks Mia, then takes her down and whirlybirds before slapping her in the back of the head a few times
Mia: trucks her Have you lost your mind? feints
Aliyah: gets two for flinching
Vanessa Borne: pulls her work wifey out of harm
Aliyah: works over the ribs for a bit
Mia: Tarantula! Into the middle buckle with you! Cannonball!Overhead belly to belly!
Aliyah: scrambles for support from Borne
Mia: Tope you both!
Mauro Ranallo: MIa Yim out here doing it for the children!
Mia: Hallaway slam! Poor Aliyah, why didn't you Protect Ya GOTDamned Neck?!
Referee: Winner!
Vanessa: gets in Mia's face on her way out
Mia: throws her into the stairsWho's a lower now?! leaves, then hesitates at the ramp's apex and heads for the announce I don't need a mic to say this: Shayna has something I want - I'm not going away until it's mine. I'm coming for the title, Shayna, and I'm coming to WHOOP THAT ASS!
Mauro: is noticeably taken aback
Mia: stomps off to the back

Queen Cathy: asks Master Regal about an update on Candice following Io's heel turn
Master Regal: says she's week to week like the rest of us aren't at this point
the Forgotten Sons: arglebargle about wanting a title shot
Master Regal: notes they had one and got themselves DQed so they're back in the queue
the Sons: swear revenge and that they won't forget this
Queen Cathy: asks if Master Regal has another team in mind to face the champs
Master Regal: notes the champs offered up the Allied Strikers and that title match will occur next week (the next post for you guys)

Hypothetical '80s TV Show Opening Voiceover: We now return you to THIS Fucking Guy, already in progress



KUSHIDA: comes out to a good pop
NPC: is clearly doomed
KUSHIDA: Handspring back elbow! Hiptoss to the cartwheel basement dropkick! PK to the arm! TAFKA Hoverboard Lock!
Referee: Winner!

Tyler Breeze: notes to Queen Cathy that every time the Era open their mouths they try to take credit for NXBreeze, his home before they ever came to Full Sail, and plans on shutting up Roddy in the evening's main



Shane Strickland Isaiah "Swerve" Scott: ain't nobody got his confidence, and winning the tournament will change his life

Trevor Lee Cameron Grimes: a North Carolina boy of 25 trained by the Hardys to be the best wrestler in the world and already has been at it for 11 years, says he's the only one ready to win the tournament
Both: exchange some mat wrestling briefly
Sh--uh, Isaiah: ends that crap with a .6 Okada dropkick
Full Sailors: Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!
Isaiah: Second rope enzui Flashpoint!
Tre--Cameron, rather: snaps him into the middle rope and works over the neck Lariat!
Isaiah: Kickout! Kip up rana! Cartwheel splash! Rolling leaping Flatliner!
Cameron: Kickout! Backslide into a sitout powerbomb!
Isaiah: Kickout!
Cameron: Superman Flying Santana!
Isaiah: Leaping back kick!
Cameron: tries to recover on the floor
Isaiah: FOSBURY FLOP! Did I land on my feet? Well, would you look at that.
Full Sailors: Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!
Cameron: C R O C O P
Isaiah: Knee strike!
Cameron: SPANISH FLY HALLAWAY SLAM! Double stomp off the ropes!
Referee: Winner!


Bianca BelAir: comes out to a mixed reaction
NPC: is doomed
BelAir: piefaces her, shoves her, and piefaces her again
NPC: piefaces her and runs her mouth
BelAir: piefaces her back so hard her own earring comes off, then rips off the other one
Everyone In the Arena Seeing A Strong Intelligent Black Woman Getting Upset: oh no this is gonna be bad isn't it
Ron Howard: It was, in fact, going to turn out to be quite bad.
BelAir: beats on her with hammer blows for half a minute, biels her, driving shoulders in the corner, then presses her overhead and gets squats in
Full Sailors With A Newfound Healthy Mix of Fear and Respect: EST! EST! EST! EST!
BelAir: Powerbomb! Deadlift powerbomb! Overhead buckle bomb! We can't call it the Kiss of Death, but you know what it is.
Referee: Winner!
NPC: still dead

God's Production Team: finds a cheap excuse to show Matt Riddle sweaty and glistening and manages to make a tax writeoff for next year; it's why they're God's Production Team

Tyler Breeze and Roderick Strong: fight for superiority on the mat
Roddy: blocks an Unprettier but not a neckbreaker
Tyler: stompholes him in the corner
Referee: Hey, come on, man, you can't be
Tyler: Don't touch me!
Roddy: uses the quasi distraction to get the advantage Backplex backbreaker into the top of the stairs! Another into the barrier!
Full Sailors: Booo!
Roddy: stomps away on the back Modified Romero Special!
Tyler: gets out from under Jumping Owenzuigiri! Straightjacket spinning Lungblower!
Roddy: Kickout! Step up Owenuigiri! Superplex!
Tyler: Kickout!
Strong: Hold!
Tyler: upkick upkick upkick upkick upkick upkick!
Full Sailors: Let's go Tyler! clap clap clapclapclap Let's go Tyler! clap clap clapclapclap
Tyler: Supermodelkick!
Roddy: Kickout!
Both: trade strikes mid ring
Tyler: Owenzuigiri!
Bobby Fish: distracts
Tyler: supermodelkicks him too
Roddy: Owenzuigiri from the apron! End of Heartache!
Referee: Winner!
Tyler: tries to recover in the ring
Roddy and Not reDragon: celebrate on the ramp

July 10

RegalTron: alternates between Japanese letters in bold white on a blacked out background and what they mean in English
PA: plays an unfamiliar theme
Possible Seizures: trigged by bright white strobe lights
Full Sailors: You suck! You suck! You suck!
Io Shirai: comes out in all black like the Omen down to the leather pants
And Suddenly: my AC seems to have failed me
Full Sailors: Booooooooooooo! Io sucks! Io sucks! Io sucks!
Io: I don't need any friends. I don't need any of you breathing memes, either. Go run to the zoo so you can see your families. mic drop, rolls out of the ring and leaves

Velveteen Dream: to "the media" at this "press conference"Rumors and murmurs abound, and I know you have questions, so by all means.
Male Off-Camera Voice: Speculation to your next challenger abounds; do you have anyone specifically in mind?
V: The Dream did not approve that question; next question.
Very Familiar Female Off-Camera Voice: starts to ask her question
V: smiles, straightens up, takes off his signature sunglasses to get a better look at
Queen Cathy, obvi: Roderick Strong has called you out repeatedly, Dream: do you have a response?
V: With love and respect, Queen Cathy, you need to relax. This alleged Strong man is nowhere near ready or deserving enough to experience the Dream one on one. gives her a look because he knows someone in that room who has before and possibly will be moments from now
Queen Cathy: left her gloves behind or something, assuredly

Damian Priest: comes out
NPC: guess
DP: Kick! Release Falcon Arrow! Two lariats! Cyclone kick! the Reckoning of the Dice!
Referee: Winner!

BOA: has come to us from China and wants to represent it inside and outside of the ring, hoping to make them proud as a former jujitsu champion
ACH Jordan Myles: from Austin, doing this for 13 years, knows DMX lyrics, the opportunity is there for the taking

Full Sailors: Go go Myles! Go go Myles!
ACJ: goes for the handshake
BOA: bows
JM: bows back and smiles
Both: tussle on the mat
JM: Arabian armdrag! Steamboat standard! Cartwheel to a backflip into a basement dropkick! BALLIN'!
BOA: throws some kicks around BOAterfly suplex! Roundhouse kicks!
JM: Roundhouse corner kick flurry! Logroll! Discus corner lariat! 450!
Referee: Winner!
Angel Garza: got next

Shayna Baszler: I have the biggest target in NXT over my shoulder. Mia has a great story but it's the most common story in fighting: if it wasn't for [ x ] I'd be homeless or in jail blah blah blah; it's going to take a little more than a great story to impress me, and anyone who faces me gets told the same story. They tap, nap or something goes snap.

Keith Lee: reflects on his turbulent first year at the PC, notes the need to make changes and go from limitless to infinite

Master Regal: announces KUSHIDA will face Apollo Crews (remember him?) next week

Street Profits and Allied Strikers: despite the high intensity pressure of a tag team championship match between teams who alternatively have Just Won The Big One for the first time and the other possibly taking their former place as perpetual Marinos, all adhere to the Code of Honor after the pops, championship lighting and introductions by New Kayla
Profits: get the advantage Double flapjack!
Oney: comes in for a save
Profits: double flapjack him on Burch, then Broken Arrow both of them at the same time
Strikers: huddle on the floor
Angelo: offers Burch another handshake
Burch: kicks him in the gut and gives him a Euro
Full Sailors: boo that specifically but don't keep booing
Burch: 2nd rope stiff legged dropkick! Tag!
Strikers: Tandem Am/Brit legsweep! Double suplex!
Burch: after tagging back in Crossface!
Montez Ford: breaks it up with a PK to the back and goes back to the apron
Burch: glares at him
Ford: Yeah, I did it! And then what?!
Burch: glares a bit more then beats on Dawkins but misses a 2nd 2nd rope stiff legged dropkick
Ford: House a fire! Clotheslines! Spinebusters! Dropkicks! Backplex to kip up to standing moonsault!
Oney: Kickout!
Ford: Fine. Tag!
Dawkins: Cyclone splash!
Ford: I got until 5 on it, lemme get in on that!
Profits: Assisted Shiranui!
Oney: Kickout.
Profits: set up their Moneymaking Device
Oney: slips free of Ford and shoves him into Dawkins Tag!
Burch: Woo dropkick! Corner line and Owenzuigiri!
Oney: Half and halfplex!
Burch: PK!German suplex!
Ford: lands up close to his corner as a result and tags out
Nigel: immediately noticed this because of course he did
Dawkins: Dropkicks!
All 4: wipe out someone then get wiped out
Oney: fires off gunshot level chops
Ford: stops him with some kicks and sees Burch on the outside Tope con hilo!
Oney: Tope suici
Dawkins: Punch in the mouth! focuses on Burch, the legal man Spinebuster!
Ford: Five Crown Frog Splash! is also legal, covers
Referee: Winners!
Profits: celebrate mid ring after the replays
Not rEDragon: stroll out to the ramp and slow clap them
Profits: invite them into the ring
Not rEDragon: demur
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