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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 271

August 29, 2019, 12:30 pm
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Few are better to have around in WWE rotisserie than Adam Cole, BAYBAY!
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

It's hard, but I'd go between teams five, ten, and 12. They all seem to mix guys who are well-protected in their card positions. Granted, WWE's booking habits could change on a whim. However, I'm tempted to say 12 is the best team because even though they have two part-timers in Brock Lesnar and Triple H, Charlotte Flair and Adam Cole could potentially carry their weight in gold all year long. Andrade is a sleeper pick. Then again, the Reigns team with two tag stalwarts and two guys who get midcard wins on television might be good too. I don't know. But my gut says those three teams are all playoff teams. Sorry.

I actually rarely eat while watching wrestling, or if I am eating, it's random stuff I pull out of the fridge/freezer/pantry. This does give me opportunity to talk about the time I hosted a WrestleMania party at my house, and my wife made a ham, because we had one sitting in the freezer. It was perhaps the biggest mismatch between food and event I could think of, but it was memorable!

I think he's right 100 percent. People are in on the joke nowadays, so instead of trying to fool them, you should give them something they can attach to emotionally. I'd go a step further and say that worked shoots have become mentally exhausting and do nothing but insult the audience's intelligence. Pretending to pull back the curtain is paradoxically the last resort to protecting the old ideals of kayfabe, and honestly, all it does is allow the most boring people in the fandom loudly dominate discussion.

Honestly, I'm so washed that my routine doesn't change from when the Eagles aren't playing at 1 PM ET. Sunday is my morning to get up with the kids and the dogs anyway. I either play Switch or watch whatever wrestling I missed. I eat breakfast, sometimes even make it. I know it's a boring answer, but I don't have season tickets, and therefore I don't have the need to tailgate. The only thing that changes is between 1 PM and around 4 PM, I have so much more knotting in my intestinal tract.

Exactly like that, no starters, no gods, no masters. Honestly, the preseason is a joke anyway. Stadia charge full price for half-assed football. I mean, if you want to keep it, make it two games where no one who is not in danger of being cut has to play. Remember what I wrote yesterday about the WWE schedule being so fraught with risk because it gave more chances for guys to get hurt? Yeah, that's what preseason games do, AND they don't even count. So no, none of my starters would play a down in the preseason, and I would limit their physical activity to training camp practice. That's what you should use to warm up for games, practice, not meaningless games where the defense is expected to hit you just as hard as if the game counted.

1. Icarus - He's the only guy who's been there for both incarnations, and he's so good at getting people to boo him and possibly throw garbage at him.

2. Gran Akuma - He was always the yang to Icarus' yin, the steely shooter who made you hate him because he broke your favorite wrestler's arm, not because he had a back tattoo or took a whole lot of shortcuts.

3. Tony Deppen - Controversial to place him above his older doppelganger, but Deppen fills the Chuckie T role of being the wild card asshole better because he's less ironic and likable than Chuckie T. To be in Team FIST, you have to be a bastard.

4. Chuck Taylor - Look, Chuckie T is probably my favorite wrestler ever to be in FIST, but he was always slightly miscast. He was always meant to be a goofball guy helming the Gentlemen's Club or schlepping around with Beretta.

5. Travis Huckabee - I think Huckabee has massive shoes to fill with Akuma, but he does it well enough. He's less of a martial arts-influenced guy more than he's an old-school shooter, and I think Akuma's aura fit better. However, he's not a bad guy to associate with the, ahem, bad guys at all. Give him time and he'll grow more and more into the role.

6. Johnny Gargano - The chasm between Huckabee and Gargano is ten times wider than the one between Icarus and Huckabee. He was a total misfit in the group. I will never buy Johnny Wrestling as a dick heel. Ever.

7. Sugar Dunkerton - Chikarametrics sucked, man.
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NXT In 60 Seconds for August 28, 2019

September 3, 2019, 9:30 am
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And that makes three
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Since We've Been Gone: Jordan Myles won the Breakout tournament on the Leftovers show and will challenge Some Guy for Goldie next week, Mia is getting stymied in her efforts to get a rematch with Shayna by Master Regal, Shane Thorne is officially off the schneid, and Killian Dain beat Matt Riddle but THAT FEUD MUST CONTINUE~! for some reason.

Also on the Leftovers show Breezango beat some guys. Forgot who.

Io Shirai: comes out to a huge heel pop and chants for her
Victim: doomed, so very doo
Io: Running dropkick at the bell! Shotei! Basement Meteora! God's Moonsault!
Referee: Winn
Io: WHOAAAAAAAA I PULLED HER UP LOL Harajuku Clutch!
Victim: does the Savion
Referee: Winner!
Io: keeps it on a bit after the bell, then gets a kendo stick after the replays
Candice LeRae: Nah. snatches it and lands a couple shots
Io: bails and yells in Japanese, probably about how unfair this is
Candice: yells at her in presumably English from the ring

Keith Lee: comes out to a big pop, chants, and the 7 Bask Army singalong
Dominik Dijakovic: comes out to a rock cover of the Croatian national anthem
Both: fight to an early stalemate
Keith: manages to truck him Grizzly Magnum!
Dijakovic: Cyclone kick! beats on him Time to fly!
Keith: Nah. peels the suplex attempt off Spinning back elbow! Rolling elbow!
Full Sailors: Keith Lee! (whoop whoop) Keith Lee! (whoop whoop)
Keith: tries sending him into the buckles
Dijakovic: fights it off
Keith: shakes his head then nods affirmatively Buckled! Slingshot crossbody!
Dijakovic: Kickout!
Keith: LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
Dijakovic: spins inside out but still kicks out
Keith: One armed spinebuster into the apron!
Both: end up glaring at each other
Dijakovic: Superkick! Fosbury Flop did I land on my feet why of course I did
Nigel McGuinness: If he flies, he flies!
Dijakovic: Cannonball off the top!
Keith: CAUGHT.
Dijakovic: uhh uh uh slip out the back! Arm wrench hook kick! Time to fly - there's the suplex throw! Moonsault!
Keith: ...kickout.
Full Sailors: Keith Lee! (whoop whoop) Keith Lee! (whoop whoop)
Dijakovic: goes up
Keith: cuts him off
Full Sailors: Please don't die! Please don't die! Please don't die!
Keith: I'll be fine. Him, on the other hand...
Dijakovic: Him on the other hand what?
Keith:
Dijakovic: KEITH. Him on the other hand wha
Keith: AVALANCHE FUCKING SPANISH FLY
Everybody Ever, Even You: WHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCK
Dijakovic: ...kickout...
Everybody Ever, Even You: WHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCK
Full Sailors, Some of Whom Are Sporting Happy Surrender Cobras: NXT! NXT! NXT! NXT!
Keith: goes up himself
Full Sailors: Fight for ever! clap clap clapclapclap Fight for ever! clap clap clapclapclap
Dijakovic: Superkick to the back of the knee! I got this I got this I g--no, I got this! FEAST! YOUR! EYES!
Keith:
Keith:
Keith:
Referee: Winner!
Full Sailors: [standing O]
Announce: puts it over huge
Dijakovic: sells all the damage done while looking astounded he beat Keith Lee, which he did.

You should see it.

It ruled.

God's Production Team: shows us a Johnny Wrestling career retrospective
Shane Thorne: comes out after it's over to the announce and complains while putting himself over
GPT: Go home, Shane, you're drunk. Commercials! Then play the Shayna/Mia stuff from last week!
Shayna: comes out for some high-quality gloating with her underlings, raises the mic up to her lips and
PA: THIS IS MY BRUTALITY!
Rhea Ripley: instantly turns babyface by default
Full Sailors: Rhea! Rhea! Rhea! Rhea!
Shayna: gets the Underlings to stand down, raises the mic up again
Rhea: yanks it out of her hands I don't care about what you have to say because I know what you're going to say: you've beaten everybody here. Well, I'm here now and you haven't beaten me, bitch.
Full Sailors: pop like a 1990 Fox studio audience
Shayna: stands down and leaves with the underlings
Rhea: stands mid ring glaring them down, throwing in a couple of smirks
GPT: show a Pete Dunne video package
Pete: I'm putting people on notice on 2 continents, and if any one steps to me, I'll break their fingers and their spirit. Just watch.

Not ReDragon: come out for the tag title defense main event to a cool heel pop
Street Profits: defend those titles but party in the crowd on their way there
the Challengers: control the mat game
Street Profits: Assisted moonsault!
NRD: continue the mat work but with a little bit of cheating, then work over Montez's leg

Montez: manages to get free from Fish for a hot beat Tag!
Angelo Dawkins: Clotheslines! Exploder! Spinning avalanches!
Kyle O'Reilly: Chop block!
NRD: Not Chasing the Dragon!
Angelo: Kickout!
Kyle: Heel hook!
Montez: tackles Fish into the submission to break it up, but does it into Angelo's leg as well
BothTeams: fight
Angelo: (snatches Fish) Spinebuster!
Kyle: Jawbreaker!
Angelo: Nope! Leg capture suple
Kyle: Triangle! I counter your counter!
Angelo: Buckle bomb counters the counter's counter! And tag!
Street Profits: hit their spinebuster and frog splash finisher with the roles reversed
Bobby Fish: pulls Kyle from the ring
Angelo: spears Kyle, then turns towards Bobby
Fish: Knee strike counter!
Montez: Frog splash!
Fish: Dodge!
NRD: HI/LO!
Referee: Winners!
Not Kayla: AND NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
GPT: show the replays
the Undisputed Era: see above
Angelo Dawkins: has a Surrender Cobra of his own, and it is not happy
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 272

September 5, 2019, 7:40 am
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Robinson, as Kansas City's WR3, could be a better pick than most teams' RB1
Photo Credit: Denny Medley/USA Today Sports
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Fantasy football, how jocks partake in nerdy endeavors. I've been playing for over 20 years, and trends have changed drastically in that time. Right now, for a 12-team draft, you're going to want to find players who can score touchdowns, since the yard-aggregators will be spread a bit thinner than they would be in 10-team leagues. While running backs are still very much valuable players (moreso in fantasy than in real life, as you've seen with the shift in drafting and paying backs in the league). You're going to want to target the guys like Saquon Barkley and Alvin Kamara early. However, what will put you over the top are touchdowns from skill position players. The truth is that the NFL has become a passing league, and I don't see it shifting back ever. So that means that if you're drafting later in the first round, you should probably target a wide receiver. If you're lucky enough to get a bellcow back, you should target receivers in the second and third round. If you prioritize running back, you're going to end up reaching for someone like, say, Jordan Howard. Meanwhile, someone like Demarcus Robinson or Mecole Hardman, the third and fourth wide receivers for the Chiefs, may end up outscoring all but the top tier of running backs with the way that they like to throw the ball. Get running backs, but be choosy and pick them in spots. Your roster should always be WR heavy, because the probability for a receiving touchdown is going to be a lot larger than a rushing touchdown going forward.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
What are the five best things about Back To School season?
1. Football Season Returns - I like all sports, and obviously wrestling is year round, but there's nothing that beats plunking down for eight hours on a Sunday and watching the big boys put that ball into the end zone. Of course, the NFL is more my speed, but college football on Saturdays is enjoyable too.

2. Fall Flavors - People bag on "basic White girls" for liking pumpkin spice, but have you ever considered that it's good? Pumpkin pie rules, pumpkin beers rule. In addition, fall marks the unofficial beginning of chili season. Chili is one of the finest innovations in American cuisine. Plus, apples are back in season. Everyone loves apples!

3. Peace and Quiet Around the House - Kids are back in school, so they're not around to bug you. Plus, when they get home, they have to do homework, so they're out of your hair for other things. Of course, helping with homework can be hard, but at least it's a focused task rather than the nebulous finding something for them to do.

4. Playoff Baseball - The stretch run of the season and the playoffs are some of the best baseball that you'll see. So many exciting baseball games are on television, and you can always look forward to the annual tradition of the Atlanta baseball team choking badly, most likely in the Divisional Series.

5. It's No Longer Hot As Balls Out, Well, Theoretically - Autumn used to have the best weather, but climate change wrecked that. You do get like two weeks between sweltering late summer and early slush-bomb storms, and those are nice.

The closest I can think of is the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ. It's where Combat Zone Wrestling and Women's Superstars Uncensored held events. I'm not sure if they're still active there, because Game Changer Wrestling's prominence has made me not even want to follow CZW. That being said, every "Philly" arena is in Philly: the ECW/2300 Arena, the Liacouras Center, obviously the Wells Fargo Center, Chikara Wrestle Factory, even that armory in the Far Northeast is within Philly's borders. Chicagoland and the Delaware Valley are two different beasts.

Similarly to losing it at Longhorn Steakhouse (I've been so busy at my day job that I'm so pissed I haven't had the chance to blog about this in earnest), it would be at a restaurant. But I'm thinking more up to speed of wrestling. I don't even know who is the target audience for Longhorn. It's not for the salt of the earth, but rich people go to like Morton's or Ruth's Chris. Longhorn feels like the kinda place you go to so you can spend your per diem on company travel on a nice meal within your limits. You know where wrestlers would feel at home at? Waffle House. Losing the title at the Waffle House and then a cook posing for pictures with the belt on while smothering and covering those hash browns? Yeah, that's so appropriate it hurts.

It's gotta have a real meaning, but I've always taken it that the songwriter was bored and was counting down the minutes to when they could leave work. 25 or 6 to 4... o'clock. If I looked it up online, it would be cheating, and I'm nothing if not a cheater. Okay, I cheat when I can, but hey.

Honestly, does anyone even know why Banks took that vacation? Like, people bring up the unsubstantiated rumor that she and Bayley were laying on the floor crying cuz they had to lose the Women's Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania, but I've heard she just wanted some time off, which really every wrestler should want and receive. But I mean, it's funny that that unnamed podcast (and before anyone asks, I don't know what podcast it is) would go in on Banks for causing locker room morale to dip when WWE management does a good enough job of doing that itself. How many male workers you think are depressed because prime spots at big pay-per-views go to Brock Lesnar or Triple H or Goldberg? You can't put on a WWE pay-per-view anymore without having a billion guests, or else Vince McMahon will turn into a pumpkin. So no, Banks shouldn't be punished, and I think WWE, for once in its life, got it right by taking her upon her comeback and putting her against Becky Lynch.

I'm gonna out myself as boug here, but...

1. Chima - Brazilian steakhouses are the best inventions known to man. Chima counts as a chain because it's in a bunch of cities. If you prefer Fogo da Chao, that's fine too. I've never been. Chima is my meat explosion of choice. But anywyay, you don't even need the gauchos; their salad bar is worth the price of admission.

2. Capital Grille - Sure, you can only really go to a place like this on a special occasion or on the company's dime, but my god, if you get to go, the food is exquisite. Like, they go the extra mile for everything.

3. Morton's Steakhouse - It's kinda like the Capital Grille, but it's much more dimly lit. I don't know what restaurants' obsessions with poor lighting is, but the food makes up for it.

4. Texas Roadhouse - Anyplace that lets you throw peanut shells on the floor is good enough by me. Great steaks and they drop all pretense of being fancy? My kind of place.

5. Longhorn Steakhouse - Look, it was either this or Outback, and Outback suuuuuuucks. Longhorn is at least decent. I guess Jericho knew a thing or two.

You could make a case that he's in the top 25, maybe even the top ten, but Mount Rushmore? It's hard for Jericho to compete with the pillars of wrestling. Like, it's not just American wrestling or recent wrestling. Is what Jericho is doing enough to say he's bigger than Rikidōzan or El Santo? Is he bigger than Lou Thesz or Ric Flair? Does he compete with even John Cena? I don't know. The fact that there's so much discussion to be had maybe keeps him out of the top four.

What the fuck kind of question is this? OF COURSE you play "Judas" during sex. How else do you convey to your partner(s) that you are the Judas in your mind? C'mon.

I'd like to say I'd try anything once, but if that shit smells as bad as people say it does, I'd probably end up not being able to get over it to put it in my mouth. It just goes to show that the Jackass mentality didn't begin with that show, I suppose, because you'd have to be really bold to try that for the first time.

The first part is simple. Jericho loses the title at Longhorn Steakhouse, where it is picked up by a busboy. Someone then tries to do one of those viral RKOs on the busboy without letting him know he was doing it. The busboy gets whiplash and the belt goes flying into the lap of Ron DeSantiis, governor of Florida. He picks it up, but as soon as he leaves the restaurant, he's milkshaked by a masked leftist, who then picks the title up. However, he's accosted by police, who steal the belt and claim they "found it on the side of the road." Really A-to-B tale here.

AS for the second part, they'd be stupid not to turn it into an angle. The main event of Full Gear, or at least the semifinal match if Jon Moxley/Kenny Omega is the main event, should be Jericho vs. the kayfabe thief. I have a few ideas. It shouldn't be Adam Page; you shouldn't heel him like that (not for the theft, but for being so petty after losing). In retrospect, it would've been a lot better had they booked Joey Janela to win the Cracker Barrel match instead of Jimmy Havoc, because him stealing the belt would have been a tailor made story to get him a title match. I'm not sure stealing something is Havoc's style. Either way, someone should have the belt being stolen pinned on them to build to the first PPV title defense. It's really a no-brainer.
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NXT In 60 Seconds for September 4, 2019

September 6, 2019, 11:10 am
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Still golden
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Hey, Everybody, Look What I Missed From Last Week's Aftermath:


Breezango: come out to a good pop
Not Team 3.0, Nope: do not
Fandango: controls the early work, throwing in a couple hip swivels
NT3: get in some tandem offense
Tyler Breeze: gets loose via step up Owenzuigiri and tags out
Fandango: Chops! Snap slams! Fancon Arrow! Tag!
Breezango: hit their finisher
Referee: Winners!

Jordan Myles and Keith Lee: enter together
Queen Cathy: asks Jordan how he's feeling ahead of the big main event
Jordan: notes he's nervous about the opportunity of a lifetime but is ready to prove his worth and become champ
Keith Lee: notes Jordan's getting this shot in a couple months and should have all the confidence in the world. Definitely not a slow burning heel turn. Nope.
Limylesless: leave

[jump cut]

Io Shirai: is beating on Candice with a kendo stick in the parking lot
Candice: gets laid tfo

Cameron Grimes: is emo over losing in the Breakout tourney finals, but still has a goal of being a champion, then puts on a top hat and leaves

Velveteen Dream: is awesome
Kona Reeves: no
Full Sailors: Vel vet een! Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
Dream: Dropkick! Superkick!
Reeves: Blocked! Pump kick! Rope hung kneelift!
Dream: Flying turning axehandle! Superkick! Another! Me Valley Driver!
Referee: Winner!
Dream: poses on the buckles with the belt
Roddy: comes on the RegalTron and says since Dream wanted him to get his attention, now this is happening
Dream's Signature Couch: is on fire
Dream: is annoyed
Roddy: smugly walks off

God's Production Team: shows a video of my Australian girlfriend ahead of her match with Shayna next week

Taynara Conti: comes out to a decent, positive reaction
Bianca BelAir: like the Whole Foods version of that, trucks Conti a couple times Dropkick and nip up!
Full Sailors: applaud
Bianca: And I can land on my feet on a monkey flip attempt as well. Now to
Conti: Dodge!
Bianca: flies into the middle buckle
Conti: Face rake against the bottom rope! PK to the arm! Judo throw! Pump kick!
Bianca: Kickout!
Conti: Penthouse Meteora! Punk corner knee! Rope assisted Code Red! Fly off the apron!
Bianca: Girl. uh UH! Hallaway slam into the floor!
Conti: uggghhhhhhh
Bianca: Flying facebuster Matrix style! Hammer shots! Handspring moonsault! KOD!
Referee: Winner!

GPT: inform us Johnathan Grapples will be on the show next week to discuss his future and definitely not get interrupted by Shane Thorne

Master Regal: announces a triple threat on the debut USA show to get Shayna a #1c between Bianca, Io and Mia

Jordan Myles: comes out to a good pop and gets +25 for the Low End Theory inspired gear
Some Guy: comes out
Everybody, Even You: ADAM COLE, BAY BAY!
Him: counters Myles' possible counters early and keeps employing side headlock takedowns, then bails when Myles might string consecutive moves together and pulls him down to the floor before throwing him into the post and posing
Full Sailors: cheer (predominantly)
Myles: tries some more
Cole: throws him so hard into the buckles he hits all of them on the way down, then throws him neck first into the middle rope Figure four headlock!
Myles: eventually gets to the ropes
Cole: keeps it on for 4.5 after because of course he does
Both: trade forearms
Myles: Handspring backflip into a logroll! Single leg basement dropkick!
Cole: bails again
Myles: oh, no you don't: picture perfect pescado!
Full Sailors: Jordan! Jordan! Jordan!
Him: Steamboat press!
Cole: Kickout! Leaping Owenzuigiri!
Myles: Dodge! Bridging Everest German suplay!
Cole: Kickout! Pump kick!
Myles: Kickout!
Cole: Leaping Owenzugiri! Gotcha this time. Lungblower!
Myles: Kickout!
Cole: Blindside superkick to the knee! And now WHOO by god, we go to school!
Myles: crawls for the ropes...grazes them with his fingertips but can't secure them, rolls through to another side and grabs those
Cole: sets him up top
Myles: knocks him down then rolls through to fly off safely when Cole dodges
Cole: Pump kick! Honorable Last Shot!
Myles: ...kickout! Longhorn Steakhouse springboard dropkick! PK off the apron! throws Cole in
Cole: rolls out
Myles: Naruto tope! throws Cole back in Sky high frog splash!
Cole: ...kickout.
Myles: Legsweep! Basement superkick!goes up Midnight Star(r)!
Cole: Always and forever, my knees in your gut. Alright, enough of that - superkick! How about an enzui follow up! New LastShot!
Referee: Winner!
Cole: celebrates up the aisle with Goldie, flashes his group and individual hand signs, BAY BAY
Myles: gets some help from the referee in recovering and heads to the back with some help
Full Sailors: Jordan! Jordan! Jordan!

(awkward sweating)

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Safety in a Violent Art

September 9, 2019, 9:50 am
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Bodom should be ostracized but he's not the only one
Photo via Internet Wrestling Database
For a sport-slash-art that is entirely based on feigned violence, pro wrestling requires an impeccable sense of protecting not just yourself, but the people with whom you're working. In the old days, when the wrestlers were convinced that maintaining kayfabe meant pretending it was real to anyone who asked, they had a code of honor that made sure they would protect their opponents (as long as a double-cross wasn't in the works). Bret Hart, for example, has famously said that he's proudest that he's never hurt someone during his career. I shouldn't say that that ethos has dissolved over time, and in fact I think it might have grown stronger. That being said, there are always exceptions to the rule. Take for example the incident in Defy Wrestling earlier this year when Los Parks assaulted a referee after the match. While the incident could be blamed on more than the aggressors in this situation, it was still a black mark.

Labor Day weekend, Revolution Pro Wrestling held one of its Summer Sizzler events, where the Tag Champions, Sha Samuels and Josh Bodom, assaulted referee Aaren Wilde after he mistakenly counted a pin that was supposed to be a kickout. Samuels bodyslammed Wilde, who was unprepared to take the move. After that, Bodom started legitimately wailing on Wilde, as seen in the video below. Warning, it's disconcerting:
Needless to say, Bodom was fired from RevPro, and Samuels was put on probation. I would've maybe sat the latter down a show or two, but the company bought his apology. Regardless of whether he meant it as a shoot or not, Samuels did a move to someone who wasn't expecting it, which is the definition of a shoot, no matter how much he claimed to be "protecting" his target.

Bodom's actions, however, are inexcusable, and what he's done in the aftermath - blaming Wilde, retiring from wrestling, deleting his Twitter - suggests that any account of the events coming from his mouth are probably bullshit. Granted, the video doesn't show how the beatdown started, so Bodom has plausible deniability in his claim that Wilde tried to take him down. However, Bodom's petulance in his reaction and the fact that Wilde just took an unexpected bump means that maybe if he did "lunge" at Bodom, it was a spasm or an attempt to try to get to his feet. Wilde has had to retire from wrestling as a referee. He now loses out on dates not only for RevPro, but for other prominent British indies.

Obviously, booking Bodom from this point out (and possibly Samuels too) shows a lack of concern for safety for anyone on the same show as him/them. There has been outcry already, just the same as there was when Sexy Star or Yoshiko shot on their opponents. Those wrestlers are safety risks anymore, but is in-ring safety the only thing you need to worry about as someone in the industry or as a fan at a show? What about people like Aaron Epic and Sami Callihan, who have domestic violence accusations levied against them? Or SHLAK, who has Nazi ties and has a violent personality? What about Chasyn Rance, who was convicted of going across state lines to commit statutory rape, or Brad Stutts, whose timeout from wrestling after it came out he was a serial creep and predator lasted maybe 20 minutes before people started using him backstage again? Do these people not make wrestling shows unsafe for women, Jewish folk, and other marginalized people who might be at the very least triggered with bad memories seeing someone they know is abusive?

The flipside to this argument is that wrestling, even though it is pantomime, is still a violent thing that attracts people predisposed to using violence to solve problems. People bemoan wrestling's turn to "art school kids," a ridiculous complaint if I ever heard one, but for every Johnny Gargano who asks in character why he's so violent, there are 20 other guys whom you wouldn't want to cross. It's the same thing with other contact sports. It shouldn't be surprising that the National Football League, for example, attracts so many domestic abusers and rapists, because it is a sport where 22 men crash into each other in ten second increments 150 times a game. The same goes for wrestling where the bumps are multiplied, condensed, and made more frequent.

Just because it attracts the violently intimidating though doesn't mean promotions and self-policing locker rooms shouldn't try to keep the predators out of the biz. Protecting your peers is more than just making sure that you don't intentionally hurt them in and around the ring, even if that's still a huge part of the supposed code. But the outcry against Bodom, Sexy Star, and Yoshiko should be directed towards the friends of otherwise well-meaning people in locker rooms who hit people as a fear tactic or who have been photographed with skinheads without remorse or a legit apology (when you say you hate antifa too when saying you hate Nazis, you're telling on yourself). I mean, if someone has no qualms hitting their spouse or partner or child, they're not gonna have any qualms about shooting on someone whom they feel has screwed up in a match setting, right?

No matter what, a safe space should not be derided or mocked. More and more, the establishment, whether government or "subversive" media or even your parents keep telling you that life is hard and you should deal with it, but the world is getting richer and richer and more and more ways to keep people safe are being developed everyday. Why should the people who shit themselves if someone identifies as a gender outside of the binary tell you that you have to sacrifice safety because some piece of shit doesn't want to face consequences for battering a supposed loved one? Everyone should demand an attempt at a safe place to be entertained or to live their lives. Wrestling is no different. So when you raise your pitchforks against Josh Bodom, make sure you keep that same energy the next time one of your "favorites" is accused of rape, domestic battery, or has photographs of them with known Nazis, okay?
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The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 9, 2019

September 9, 2019, 11:10 am
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Jaccpot
Photo Credit: Bill Streicher/USA Today Sports
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. DeSean Jackson (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - Jackson returned to the Eagles yesterday to catch two 50+ yard touchdown passes, torching both his former team, the Landover Racial Slurs, and also, albeit indirectly, the coach who cut him for racist reasons, Chip Kelly. Sure, Kelly may have scurried to California to coach college ball (terribly, I might add), but that doesn't mean this wasn't even more egg on his face seeing Jackson after four years away come back and catch tuddies like he didn't miss a beat in midnight green. It is great to have him back.

2. Orange Cassidy (Last Poll: 3) - So, he like showed up at All Out and became the third Best Friend. So what, like, that could have happened at any time, okay.

3. Nyla Rose (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - Rose became the first All Elite Women's Champion at All Out, thus owning all the transphobes who say that trans women aren't women. They are! And they can be fierce and fearsome wrestlers too, dorks.

4. Maki Itoh (Last Poll: 5) - What a beautiful master of language, even after getting bloodied in war against a literal demon.

5. Jason Peters (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - At 37 years old, Peters played all 75 offensive snaps in the Eagles' win yesterday at one of the most demanding positions on the field. Like Mark Henry in his salmon suit, he's still got a lot in the tank, and the Slurs' defensive front were all a bunch of puppets.

6. Crabcakes (Last Poll: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Nothing beats a good crabcake, like the one I had for dinner last night, which was golden fried and creamy but not fishy-tasting. It's a good thing to live near Maryland and thus have their crabcake prowess waft north and east.

7. Ophidian (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - The leader of the Crucible won the Johnny Kidd Invitational, and although he couldn't wrest the title of head trainer from Mike Quackenbush, he might just win that Grand Championship and secure victory for his cult! Hooray cults!

8. Antonio Brown (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - Look, he might have descended into madness and signed with one of the most evil franchises in sports, but he called Mike Mayock a cracker in the process. I stan a King. It should also be mentioned that Brown didn't start acting up until noted accused rapist Ben Roethlisberger started feuding with him in Pittsburgh, because nothing is ever that lummox's fault. Anyway, the Patriots, Brown's new team, shitkicked the Steelers last night, 33-3 (even though he wasn't allowed to play), which might be the only time I was somewhat satisfied to see the Pats win a game.

9. Toru Yano (Last Poll: 4) - The fourth DLC character for Super Smash Bros.: Ultimate was announced as Terry Bogard from the SNK fighting games, which can only mean since they're trending obscure and Japanese that Yano is the fifth and final character to be announced. Huzzah!

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Poll: Here for Porkin') - Sorry, I ran out of Otis Dozovic gifs, so allow me to go back to a classic, okay?
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King of Trios Is DRAMA

September 11, 2019, 8:40 am
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The reluctant trio is in
Graphics via ChikaraPro.com
So when last the King of Trios updates were, uh, well updated, the field was at a lucky 13 teams with an offer hanging in the balance for a 14th. In that time, the offer was accepted, an existing team was shaken up, and perhaps the most fun team in the tournament, well, second most-fun after the Quack Pack, was announced. Also, another wrestler was announced for Rey de Voladores, and a cult leader used his one Golden Opportunity to try to become head trainer, failed, and won another one. That's a lot of info to take in. Come and dive in with me.

So, Dasher Hatfield and Molly McCoy had a standing offer to Boomer Hatfield, who is already entered in Rey de Voladores, to compete in Trios with them as a family. The story with that family is that dad got corrupted by the power of holding the Grand Championship in an interim capacity. He rebuffed his brother-in-law, Mark Angelosetti, and then legitimized his reign in a ladder match WrestleMania weekend. Over the time between last season's finale, when he first turned to the rudo side, and then, Dasher became colder and meaner towards Boomer, who also was opposed to dad's cheating. So son challenged dad for his mask at Aniversario in Chicago and won, and Cousin Molly said she'd never forgive Boomer for the act of aggression, even though it was Dasher clearly in the wrong. One could maybe not blame Boomer if he didn't want to accept the offer, but he did so, possibly at the behest of whatever family member he was speaking to on the phone in this video (his mother?). Now, the raw talent on this team is unquestioned. Dasher is still the Grand Champion, Boomer is an up-and-coming future Chikara ace, and McCoy, well, she's a wild card but also a Broad Street Bully. However, one cannot discount the dysfunction. Also, if this team wins night one, and Boomer has to pull double duty night two, well, you might see things really get testy.

Trio number 15 is a lot less steeped in drama and much more trained in the art of ROCK N ROLL, BABY. Stray Kat (Allie Kat elsewhere) and "That Ol' Juke Joint" Lucas Calhoun will shake their hips and bring cat scratch fever to Trios with the straitlaced bruiser, Missile Assault Man. While the Kat and the Juke Joint were unsuccessful in their attempt at Los Campeonatos de Parejas, they will look to forge ahead with the former member of Colony: Xtreme Force. Missile Assault Man has had quite the career trajectory, but he's found a niche as a no-nonsense tecnico brawler lately. The chip on his shoulder should pair well as a foil to the other two's carefree, rocking party attitude.

Another already-announced team decided it would make a change on the fly. The Crucible's A-team contained the group's leader Ophidian, its consigliere Whisper, and stalwart member Lance Steel. Well, at Chikarasaurus Rex, Ophidian made a substitution on the fly, replacing Whisper with former Grand Champion Kimber Lee. While the reasons for the substitution are unknown, Whisper is not taking it lightly.
Yeah, sounds like someone taken by surprise. With one team left, could Whisper slink his way back into the tournament with Joshua Wells and perhaps another disgraced Crucible exile? Or will he just screw with Ophidian's team and ensure that they won't win? It should also be noted that Lee and Whisper held the CdP as and odd couple tandem after being rivals. I wonder if she had some dirt on him. Time will tell.

Ophidian was busy outside of Trios stuff too, as an aside. For those who don't know, he won Chikara's answer to the Royal Rumble, the Infinite Gauntlet, earning him a Golden Opportunity, i.e., three points in service of a title shot that could not be lost the way points normally are. However, instead of choosing Dasher's Grand Championship or Team FIST's CdP, he made a quite unorthodox challenge to Chikara patriarch and head trainer Mike Quackenbush for his latter position this past Friday. He lost the match, but he made up for it by winning the Johnny Kidd Invitational at C-Rex, getting that Golden Opportunity back. Does this have ramifications for Trios? Perhaps, as if he has another shot in his back pocket, perhaps that telegraphs his Crucible team may not win the whole thing. Will he use that Golden Opportunity on Quack for the trainer title again, or will he upend the Grand Champion, whoever that is when he challenges? Time will tell.

Finally, while his master Oceanea and cohorts Merlok and Hermit Crab will look to take home Trios glory, Cajun Crawdad will enter his name into the Rey de Voladores tournament. He is the third announced competitor, along with the aforementioned Boomer and Kentucky's former best kept secret Alex Zayne. I don't expect the entire field to be announced in advance of the tournament given it will certainly contain some night one losers, but so far, it's a strong field.

The other 13 teams for the tournament have been announced already and are as follows:
  • Team Pump (Scott Steiner, Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams)
  • The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Adam Hoffman, Jack Bonza)
  • The Carnies (Kerry Awful, Nick Iggy, Tripp Cassidy)
  • The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, Sal Rinauro)
  • The VeloCities (Mat Diamond, Jude London, Paris DeSilva)
  • Team FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, Travis Huckabee)
  • The Crucible (Ophidian, Kimber Lee, Lance Steel)
  • The Creatures of the Deep (Oceanea, Merlok, Hermit Crab)
  • The Colony (Fire Ant, Green Ant, Thief Ant)
  • The Crucible II (Matt Makowski, Devantes, EM DeMorest)
  • Three Queens (Solo Darling, Willow Nightingale, Freddie Mercurio)
  • The Quack Pack (Mike Quackenbush, Rob Killjoy, Lance Lude)
  • The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked, Frightmare, Kobald)
With one more team left to announce, Trios this year looks like an amazingly stacked bracket with several winners and even more potential crowd pleasers. You can catch the action October 4-6 at the Goodwill Beneficial Association in Reading, PA. All information and ticket sales can be found at ChikaraPro.com. Night one will have all the first round matches. The middle day, Saturday, starts with King of Brunches, then later on Fan Conclave, and finally with the second show, featuring the four quarterfinal Trios matches, two Rey de Voladores four-way qualifiers, and just announced, master and student colliding with BLANK taking on Still Life with Apricots and Pears. Night three will contain the semifinal and final matches of Trios, the Rey de Voladores final, and the always crowd-pleasing Ten Tag Team Gauntlet. Get your tickets now.
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Guest Post: How Not to Handle Refusing Personal Information

September 12, 2019, 7:45 am
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If someone asks you for their personal information, and you say no, they should respect it
A certain wrestling promotion melted down on Twitter when two female wrestlers decided not to honor the promoter's request for personal information. A friend of the blog, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a commentary on it, and here at The Wrestling Blog, their request will be honored. Please read below:

It has been zero days since wrestling was nonsense.

What with wrestling consistently being either a garbage fire or a shitshow, and sometimes both at once, you’d be forgiven for missing the latest bullshit in wrestling. A promoter asked two ladies booked on his show for their personal numbers (in case of emergency, even though both people suggested other reliable methods of contact) and both declined. The promoter kept pushing it, and both women posted their encounters on social media. The promotion was named by another wrestler, and things escalated.

By escalated, what I mean is “The promoter got defensive and started making “sexual assault is probably deserved” and “Let me make fun of cancer and suicide” jokes*”, and talent started to take notice and pull out of the show. The theater where the show is booked has been informed, is passing the information along to their governing body, and it looks like the show may not go on after all.

Now, before you hop onto your soapbox and start yelling about how SJWs are ruining wrestling – and I know some of you are about halfway there – have you ever stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, the reprehensible behavior of the promoter when told no probably had more to do with this situation than anyone calling them out on social media did? It would’ve been much easier to say, hey yeah, we know this isn’t acceptable, thanks for explaining, in the future we won’t ask for this.  Instead, once called out, they decided to double down and get horrifically defensive.

What a lot of people seem to forget is that no means no, in every situation. If someone says no, they don’t want you to have their private phone number, respect it. If a talent says no, I’m not comfortable with any aspect of a situation, acknowledge that and work to repair it.

Wrestling is still very much a closed-doors brother brother work environment. It doesn’t have to be.

In cases like this, it definitely helps that for once, it wasn’t.

* - "Jokes" is asterisked because they weren’t funny. At all.
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Search

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 273

September 12, 2019, 12:00 pm
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The Guy
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

As someone who has sworn off watching WWE, my answer might not mean much, but inasmuch as Reigns is an ambassador and a prohibitive ace for the company, I would say yes, he is The Guy, at least in WWE. He's a good wrestler, which is more than you can say for Seth Rollins. He's also a bit more diplomatic about things, even if he believes things that I don't agree with. You have to figure that if he hadn't had Vince McMahon scripting him dumb promos and pushing him too hard upon his comeback from a hernia, he might have won people over sooner, especially given that his match with Brock Lesnar at Mania 31 was solid, at least up to the Rollins cash-in. But there are worse people to have in front of the fans as the top dude than Reigns.

Like Seth Rollins.

I would say technically, the longest I've been out of sorts was when I went on cruises, but those are positive things I enjoyed. I'd say the longest I've been out of a routine was when my daughter was born. She was six weeks premature, and we were back and forth to the NICU, well I was. My wife, who got an emergency C-section, kinda had to stay at the hospital to recover. Anyway, it was brutal. My daughter was so small, but she eventually was okay enough that we could take her home. I don't know how I coped with it. I guess Twitter helped. Getting to take off from work was a silver lining as well. I don't know. It was a total reverse from when my son was born, where everything went mostly well. The end result was the important part, having a healthy daughter to complete the human portion of our family.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
How is the Greater Delaware Valley reacting to the first Eagles game?
How should I react to the Eagles first half slow start and second half comeback?
I have insulated myself from anyone whom I don't follow on Twitter. That being said, the reaction was generally positive starting with the second half-opening drive. In retrospect, the Slurs' defense was a strength last year, and I don't think any of the starters played a snap in the preseason. I don't think anyone expected Case Keenum to carve the team up, but at the same time, a few inches change in tackler position and Vernon Davis doesn't score the first touchdown. Who knows how their luck might've changed there. The second half team is more of what the real deal is, I think. I could be wrong, because losses jump out at you from nowhere in the NFL. The Pats lost to five teams last year, none of which made the playoffs. The Falcons could jump out against the defense this Sunday night if the pass rush doesn't get home, but you'd think that game isn't worrisome, right? I would slot the Eagles as a 10-6 team at least, with better records possible with some luck.

I want to put him at number one if just for how important he was to so many great Eagles' teams, especially this year's, but Harold Carmichael was a game changer. He might be the most overlooked receiver in history, but he was the first of the kind of hybrid speed/height guys you have today, like Randy Moss or Alshon Jeffery. I think it's pretty easy to slot the first two. After Jackson though, it gets harder. You have all-time great guys who haven't logged as many seasons like Terrell Owens and Jeffery (although by the time his career is over, Jeffery might be a solid number three), and then you have guys who played here forever but were a step below like Fred Barnett or Jeremy Maclin. However, Jackson is definitely slotted behind Carmichael for a solid one-two punch.

How about if I have two AEW roster members? Give me Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy, and Drew Gulak, the Gentleman's Club, for one last run. They have name cache and are Chikara homegrown guys. What's not to love? In all seriousness, while that trio would be amazing, I get the feeling that there are three valid choices for the final slot. The first is probably the most obvious, the Proteus Wheel. It's strange they haven't been announced yet, unless one of them left Chikara on the sly. The next most likely is The Whisper recruiting Joshua Wells and another Crucible guy as an act of defiance against Ophidian for dropping him from his team. The final least likely but enjoyable team nonetheless would be the Minnesota Wrecking Zoo of The Estonian Thunderfrog, Wildcat, and Airwolf. Either way, I'm awaiting that Trios announcement with bated breath.

5. New York Giants - Normally they'd be higher, but they're so pathetic that I can't hate them with the same tenacity. I also really like Saquon Barkley.

4. New Orleans Saints - I don't think I'll hate them forever like the Giants or other two divisional rivals, but the incessant whining from not only their fans but the TEAM itself is irritating. I've never seen someone carry so much venom for a team his owned last year than I do Alvin Kamara for the Eagles. Also, Sean Payton fuckin' sucks.

3. New England Patriots - They win all the time and are joyless fuckbags about it. Also, they skirt the salary cap by underpaying their starting QB because said QB has a boutique nutrition business he makes money from and my team doesn't.

2. Landover Racial Slurs - All owners are bad, but Daniel Snyder might be the worst. Also, the team name is racist.

1. Dallas Cowboys - Jerry Jones may be worse than Snyder. Their dynasty in the '90s was boring. Also, they've won three playoff games in two decades and are still on at 4 PM or later on Sunday every week. FUUUUCK.

Everything. Like, it's different when you have kids because now you gotta take care of them. Too many dads don't realize it, so they're deadbeats or they leave home. Like, I have two more reasons to stay alive and keep chugging along, because if I can't help my kids have a better life than me, what kind of selfish dickhead am I?

My favorite wrestler ever to win King of the Ring is Randy Savage, but my favorite reign as King has to be Owen Hart. I mean, at the time I hated him, but that was because he was an excellent heel. No one made being the King a part of their character like Hart did. He went all in, much like he did with the Slammy Awards, and that's why he was the quintessential King of the Ring.

People boo him. Vince McMahon will listen to crowd reactions over anything else, even ignoring the fact that every metric that defines a successful business has suffered in the last two years. Maybe some of that is pushing his failson Shane as a top heel despite being loose as fuck and not good at anything but glowing in the dark. Maybe some of it is the fact that RAW and Smackdown felt like they were in reruns (at least up to I stopped watching, which is all I can speak on). But I mean, if a live audience is booing Corbin, McMahon will push him.

1-2. Super Mario Bros. 2 and Zelda 2: The Adventures of Link - The two sequels to Nintendo's wildly successful anchor franchises disappointed a lot of people. However, as a veteran of both of those games, I can tell you that they're good.

3. Final Fantasy VIII - I see a lot of people saying they liked this game all along, but even back in the message board days, people dumped on this game. It's better than VII, I'll tell you.

4. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest - Another NES sequel that people seem to like to hate on nowadays, I thought it was a fun riff on the franchise. The stuff that the Angry Video Game Nerd harped on didn't really bother me either.

5. Nightshade - I have no idea if this game is hated or not, but the fact that I'm the only one I know who seems to have played it is, well, maybe a condemnation? Dislike through apathy is a thing.

I don't really have reasons for them, but Daniel Bryan, Terry Crews, Aubrey Plaza, Laverne Cox, and Danny DeVito would all be a hoot to watch team up with the gang, especially DeVito, who has experience with his own gang. Maybe he'll bond with Scooby and get an apartment with him.

Misinformation that feeds a confirmation bias is more powerful than the truth could ever be. If you want to slag Kenny Omega, or anyone for that matter, who cars about the facts?
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NXT In 60 Seconds for September 11, 2019

September 16, 2019, 6:00 am
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THIS IS HER BRUTALITY
Photo Credit: WWE.com
A Car: pulls up to Full Sail
Rhea Ripley: gets out, sneers, smirks and heads inside

Damian Priest: powers BOA around the ring a few times Step up Owenzuigiri! Release Falcon Arrow!
BOA: lands a few kicks
DP: MURDERDEATHKILL lariat! Cyclone kick! Reckoning of the Dice!
Referee: Winner!

Velveteen Dream: If you think for a second that the Dream's title reign is going up in flames, you're lying to yourself. If the Dream burns, you'll burn too.

Johnathan Grapples: comes out to a rapturous response and high fives some front row fans before getting inside the ring
Full Sailors: chant his name for a solid two minutes
Johnny: I've heard the rumors, read the reports, and my mom and everybody else are asking what my future holds...
Full Sailors: Please don't go! Please don't go! Please don't go!
Johnny: Last time I was in this ring, I fell off a steel cage and woke up to a standing O chanting "Thank you, Johnny!" I appreciated it a lot, since without you there'd be no Johnny Wrestling. We built this place together and I say this with every bit of my heart - I love every thing about NXT, everything about this place!
Full Sailors: NXT! NXT! NXT!
Johnny: NXT is me and that locker room coming out and putting out the best professional wrestling this world has to offer! We have a choice and a say in their futures and I've made mine. You guys have had my back since day one so I wanted to say that
Shane Thorne: to the surprise of...well, somebody...comes outFull Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thorne: Is this really necessary? All this Johnny time?
Full Sailors: BOOOOOO! Johnny Wrestling! clap clap clapclapclap Johnny Wrestling! clap clap clapclapclap
Thorne: You could've taken a selfie, Tweeted maybe, but nooooo! Johnny has to be here
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thorne: You're an NXT pillar. You're fine. And this place is going to be just fine without you.
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thorne: With the right person finally in the spotlight, this place will be better, so you can take a walk.
Johnny: walks towards the ropes
Johnny: seemingly remembers something
Johnny: I mean, we are NXT. I am NXT. And I'm not going anywhere SUPERKICK!
Thorne: felled
Johnny: signs NXT with his fingers a la Bret then does the 4 Life hand sign a la Oz


Pete Dunne: comes out to a massive response
Angel Garza: gets a solid heel pop, kisses Anita and refuses to touch any of the male fans, which...you know, understandable
Pete: shoots in on the leg to set up joint manipulation PK!
Angel: dodges him to the floor, giving him time to remove his pants (very important and very necessary) Superkick! Count him out!
Full Sailors: Bruiserweight! Bruiserweight! Bruiserweight!
Angel: Rope hung kneelift!
Pete: Step up Owenzuigiri! Release German! Buzzsaw kick! Sitout bomb!
Angel: Kickout! Basement superkick!
Pete: Kickout! Arm trapped stomps! Another buzzsaw kick! Triangle! You don't need all these fingers!
Angel: taps out
Referee: Winner!
Pete: gives his signature shrug
Angel: nods in almost acceptance

Street Profits from Monday in Central Park: note their success has gotten them to MSG and Monday Night Raw
Angelo Dawkins: notes the moment would've been better if they'd still been NXT World Tag Team champions
Montez Ford: notes that they can get them back next Wednesday when something important or other is happening

Raul Mendoza: comes out to a decent reaction
Cameron Grimes: ehhh
Raul: Rolling Magistral cradle! Huracanrana! Springboard
Grimes: Interception dropkick!
Raul: Step up Owenzuigiri! Corner leg lariat! Ropewalk missile dropkick to the running Shooting Star!
Grimes: Kickout! pulls the middle rope into his neck 1-Up Stomp!
Referee: Winner!

Candice: is piqued Io is getting rewarded for her evilness with a spot in the triple threat contendership match next week
Master Regal: puts her in it with Bianca and Mia, notes if Rhea wins in the main event it might become a five-way
Candice: is only focused on Io

Shayna Baszler: comes out to a strongly negative reaction, as opposed to her opponent
Full Sailors: Rhea Ripley! clap clap clapclapclap Rhea Ripley! clap clap clapclapclap
Shayna: does her usual back somebody up and bully-ass legsweep after faking a clean break
Rhea Thiccley: no-sells it and does it to her, then almost stomps her out
Shayna: looks a bit perturbed
Both: grapple a bit rudely on the mat
Shayna: goes for the Clutch
Rhea: gets free and slams her
Shayna: Leg in the ropes! PK to the back! Cravate! Now the Kirifuda Clutch!
Rhea: backs into the corner a few times
Shayna: goes up to the middle rope and does a hanging variant
Rhea: Uppercut! Dropkick!
Shayna: bounces off the apron and hits the floor
Rhea: Electric Chair Face Eraser into the steps!
Marina Shafir: tries to interfere and gets dropped
Jessamyn Duke: will not interfere against a swinging Ripley
Shayna: Step up knee!
Jessamyn: slides Shayna a chair
Shayna: swings
Rhea: blocks and swings successfully
Referee: Yup, that's a DQ.
Full Sailors: Rhea! Rhea! Rhea!
Rhea: sits in the chair and waves them all on
Shayna: held up by the Underlings, holds up Mrs or Miss Goldie
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOO!
Rhea: poses mid-ring

credits

BUT THEN

Some Guy, BAY BAY: The prophecy will finally be fulfilled - plug for the switch to USA and us because we're awesome - next week when Roddy gets the North American championship.
Roderick Strong: I got his attention, which is awesome since I always hated that couch, Dream, and I hate you. Come next week I get what's mine, see what the first guy said.
Adam Cole: NXT's been getting bigger and better thanks to us, and once we have all the gold no one on the planet will be able to stop them. That's not a threat - nor a promise - merely...Undisputed.
the Era: throw up their gang gang sign
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CazXL Still Pulling Locker Room Bullshit

September 16, 2019, 8:00 am
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Cass needs more help
Photo Credit: WWE.com
When CazXL, the former Colin "Big Cass" Cassady, was last in the news, he was posting a heartfelt plea for everyone to root for him because he was battling depression. It was a noble plea, to be honest, and no one should have to suffer from depression. I know, I suffer from it. That being said, some folks were ready to use it as a clean-slate for him for shit he's done in the past. Honestly, depressed or not, it doesn't cause nor excuse behavior like stalking an ex-girlfriend the way he did Carmella in his final days in WWE. It's the same thing as CTE. You can use it to explain away a lot of things, but CTE didn't make Chris Benoit kill his family. Benoit did. CTE just made it easier for him to act on it. It's the same with depression. You can feel its heel crushing you, but at the end of the day, if you lash out at people who don't deserve it, well, depression didn't make you do it.

So it's both not surprising but disheartening to see that CazXL had a whole episode at this weekend's WrestlePro show. It makes sense that CazXL would have residual bad feelings with fellow WP bookee Joey Janela, given the Bad Boy got into it with the former Cass' boy. According to this report from WrestleZone, Cass not only confronted Janela, but he went into the locker room of outgoing WP booker and incoming WWE producer Pat Buck and started accusing him and SoCal Uncensored of stealing his things. Buck, who isn't just a body guy, apparently, knocked CazXL out. Upon arrival to the scene, the police saw him and had an ambulance take him to the hospital.

It's not good to see that Cass hasn't really learned anything even after stepping away for a frightfully short amount of time he took off to take care of his mental health issues. It's clear he hasn't rehabbed or else he wouldn't have picked a fight with Janela or accused someone of stealing things without any proof. He was taken to the right place even if I question whether the cops had the right to do it. Then again, if Cass were black, I wonder if he'd still be alive right now. But I digress.

Being as combative as he is in a business where you have to be cooperative isn't something you can excuse completely. The depression may have been lubrication for him to act out, but he's also got to reconcile with himself that he has issues to work out with interpersonal relationships. You don't go around at your bookings and just start shit with everyone you can find. At the very least, you'll end up instigating yourself out of bookings, period. He needs help, yes, but he needs to be serious about taking that help. He can't just yes his way through therapy and plot which asshole has a slap to the face coming to him at the next show. I don't want to seem cold, but it's hard to look at what he's doing with the goodwill he borrowed back and think his tragedy isn't partially self-caused. I hope he gets better, mind you. I just hope that he is the one who wants to get better. Maybe he should start by not hanging around with nZo anymore.
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Thoughts About Josh Barnett's Bloodsport II

September 16, 2019, 10:00 am
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Thatcher was in the best match at this Bloodsport as he was in the first two
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
This past Saturday night, the Josh Barnett iteration of Bloodsport had its second show, notable because it was the first of the three shows not to be held at Mania weekend and the first one not to have Minoru Suzuki in the main event slot. Like the prior two shows, however, it was an entertaining display of shoot-style pro wrestling in a landscape where that kind of wrestling isn't found a whole heck of a lot. At best, you get a rougher, rawer version of pro wrestling that has the best counters and unique striking. At worst, well, it's people misunderstanding what shoot-style is and trying to do worked MMA. I feel like the latter has a higher floor though. I'd rather watch Allysin Kay and Nicole Savoy do 80 percent of the match in side control than Randy Orton do anything, to be honest.

I'd rather talk about the good matches though, the ones that showed the range of what shoot-style can provide, starting with the Timothy Thatcher/Minowaman match, which I thought was the best on the show by a mile. No one explores Bloodsport's studio space quite like Thatcher, maybe because he, more than anyone who has worked MMA and pro wrestling in their careers, embodies the spirit of the event. His style is the rawest version of British grappling possible, but it's a style that is still professional wrestling, and he knows it. So the way he approaches a match in Bloodsport isn't to make it look like a MMA fight, it's the way he approaches every match. His style is one that fits so snugly into the whole aesthetic.

If you look at his arc through the three Bloodsport events, it's hard to think of anyone else as the MVP so far. All three of his opponents were cut from different cloth. At first Bloodsport, he took on Nick Gage, who is the furthest thing from a shoot-style wrestler. What kind of match was it? It was Thatcher riding out the storm of Gage throwing so much violence at him, a maelstrom of fists and detritus. At the first Barnett Bloodsport, he wrestled Hideki Suzuki, who is as much of if not more of a grappler than Thatcher. That match was just straight up locking and countering. And here, vs. the Japanese hybrid wrestler/fighter, Thatcher went out and did his thing. Minowaman did his thing. It was, like the Gage match on that show and the Suzuki match on that show, the best complete bout on the card.

It wasn't the only good match though, and the other ones that were satisfying were the ones that didn't try to pretend that they weren't wrestling matches. The opener, Zachary Wentz vs. Anthony Henry, was a blistering strikefest that finished hot. Davey Boy Smith, Jr. vs. Filthy Tom Lawlor was probably the platonic ideal of how you do a "worked MMA" fight in the template of a wrestling match. It had the heavy submissions and a little bit of stalling, but they went through the beats of a wrestling match with the requisite big spots that popped off the screen, like Smith's homage to his father with the running powerslam or Lawlor's sliding D that took him and Smith out of the ring. Nick Gage vs. Killer Kross was a goddamn hoot even if it was only under four minutes. Then again, four minutes is just enough time not just for a shoot-style match, but for a regular match. Like, too many matches go long for the sake of going long (like both Barnett matches at either of these shows with his name!). All this match needed was a Gage headbutt and the chokehold where the ref called for the bell prematurely.

Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Kross calling out Batista after the match. Part of me wants to believe Game Changer Wrestling mogul Brett Lauderdale wouldn't have signed off on it if he didn't have reasonable belief Big Dave would accept and make Bloodsport 4 3, by far, the biggest show of Mania weekend. On the other, he had Gage invade a Combat Zone Wrestling show to try and jumpstart an angle without letting CZW know, so talking that shit is on his resume. Either way, you gotta shoot your shot, right?

I doubt that Bloodsport's tenor will change too much going forward. They're always going to go for names, hence bringing in Frank Mir to face off against Dan Severn at Mania weekend. You'll have the matches like Kay/Savoy or Erik Hammer/JR Kratos, and again, there's always the chance that even if those matches are way too by-the-book worked MMA bouts, they might have an exciting moment you otherwise wouldn't see in some standard wrestling match featuring dudes trying to get their shit in. But this show, much like its two predecessors, had some unique matches that you have to go out of your way to watch. It's only $20 on FITE TV for the replay, and you can watch it as many times as you want.
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The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 16, 2019

September 16, 2019, 12:00 pm
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Smoke a whole carton for a legend
Photo Credit: Mike Coppola/Getty Images
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Ric Ocasek (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Cars' frontman died last night at the age of 75. In addition to fronting one of the most iconic rock acts ever and writing a good bit of the band's songs, Ocasek was an accomplished producer. Do you like Weezer when they were good? Yeah, Ocasek produced their debut album. His band's songs were the soundtrack to many people's lives, and they still resonate today. Rest in peace to an utter titan of music.

2. Cain Velasquez (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Most MMA guys coming into wrestling play up their background. It's a satisfying style, sure, but it's Rookie Mode. Cain Velasquez? He's going All-Madden mode. He continued the path he forged from TripleMania at the AAA New York Invasion event last night by doing all kinds of lucha. The kicker is the guy who made hay as a heavyweight in the UFC is flying around the ring like El Hijo del Vikingo and doing a pretty good job at it. Now that's impressive.

3. Carson Wentz (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Okay, so the Eagles lost last night, and part of that reason is because Wentz was, in a word, shitty in the first half. That being said, after all his receivers got hurt and he had to climb out of a double-digit deficit in the second half, he led the team with amazing throws, Houdini-esque escapes from pressure, and stunning leadership. You learn things in defeat, and aside from learning that Isaac Seumalo is a sieve and that the defense having to blitz to get pressure is not good, that Wentz is THAT guy.

4. Maki Itoh (Last Week: 4) - Hey, she's in Spain this week. Maybe she'll learn a new word like tapas or caca.

5. Brazilian Steakhouse (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING - It is, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the pinnacle of eating. People come to your table with sizzling hot meat on swords, and you can go get as much exquisite appetizers you want at the salad bar. What is there not to love about this? Unless you're vegan, then I understand. But then again, they have rodizio-style pineapple too. Just sayin'.

6. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 2) - Pfft, whatever, man.

7. Garrett Shrader (Last Week: Not Ranked) - If football doesn't pan out for this guy, he has a place in the wrestling business the way he bumped off this tackle.

8. Patrick Mahomes (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not many players in any sport but basketball can have a singular impact in a short amount of time. Mahomes is one of them. His Kansas City team was down 10-0 to the Raiders after one quarter of play. At halftime? Kansas City was up 28-10, which would end up as the final score. In the second quarter, Mahomes had four touchdown passes, the shortest of which was 27 yards. In addition, he threw for 289 yards in that short timeframe. More than a few QBs can't do that in a single game. Holy shit.

9. Killer Kross (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, it takes brass ones to call out Batista on a relatively small indie show compared to the gigs he's getting nowadays. Hell, I'm not even talking WWE. Batista is a full-fledged movie star who has a recurring role in the biggest thing in movies nowadays. If he pulls it off and gets him for a match? Well, he'd be the most successfully bold guy in wrestling history.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - Oney Lorcan is here for porkin', even if Ken Shamrock isn't.
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Follow-Up: CazXL Doesn't Remember

September 17, 2019, 6:00 am
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CazXL needs more help than he let on
Photo Credit: WWE.com
So yesterday, I let y'all know that CazXL/Big Cass was combative backstage at the WrestlePro show this past weekend, not just with Joey Janela, but also with Pat Buck. As it turns out, there's more to the story. Apparently, after getting knocked to the ground by Buck, Cass asked him why Buck had hit him, and it wasn't a statement of disbelief. According to reports, he didn't remember much about the incidents the next day.

The short-term memory loss can be explained away with two reasons, neither of them good. Either it's a symptom of head trauma or he was under the influence. Both are likely, given that the former is a consequence of his profession, and the latter is something he admitted to needing to get under control. Either way, it shows he needs to stay away from the business for a long enough time to get his life back under his own control, ESPECIALLY if it's substance abuse. It's at that point where instead of talking to him to come back to NXT that Paul Levesque and Vince McMahon should maybe be looking into putting Cass in rehab.

The more and more that comes out about Cass, the more readily apparent it is that the dude is not well. At this point, promoters and bookers who take him on their card are complicit in his downward spiral. He's gotta get out of the wrestling business, at least temporarily, and he shouldn't return until he's well. If that's in a month, a year, or never, well, that's up to him. But he has to get right. Whatever's in his envelope isn't worth the early grave. Look, I know he's not the most popular guy in wrestling, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die early. He's gotta get help, and honestly, if McMahon and Levesque don't get it to him, it's at least partially on them.
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Sasha Banks Vs. The Reporters

September 17, 2019, 11:05 am
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Banks refuted a bad dirtsheet report that you should've sniffed out as phony from the get-go
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Sasha Banks returned from her what is now known as a self-imposed hiatus from WWE the night after SummerSlam. While she was gone, people went on rumors and whispers thinking she was unhappy with the company. It turns out that wasn't the case, for better or worse. Even I bought the rumors to an extent. However, one of the more pernicious whispers said that she left in a hissy-fit after carrying on along with Bayley on the locker room and hotel room floors because they were booked to lose the Women's Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania. The two proponents of that report were Pro Wrestling Sheet's Ryan Satin and self-styled wrestling scoopster at-large, Brad Shepard.

Banks made no overtures to confirm or deny those reports until an episode of Chronicle aired on WWE Network Saturday night for the first time. Banks spoke on the supposed incident and asked for the people who reported on it to produce video or audio proof. It was an emphatic denial. Satin at the time claimed that "a few sources" told him. If I had to guess, it was Lana and Alexa Bliss who gave that info, but that's only as speculative as the reports about Banks and Bayley after their Mania loss.

Now, the converse of the issue isn't that maybe Satin and Shepard were right, but that this is another case of a person with more power and influence punching down at people who aren't worth the time of day, much like when Peyton Royce rallied the troops to dump on Dave Meltzer when he said WWE pushed her to "be hotter" before she made the main roster and then commented on the change in look. Honestly, I don't see it as similar to that situation, although Meltzer's lack of awareness was bound to get him in trouble sooner rather than later. It's just a shame it was in that situation and not from when he along with Jim Ross callously accused Tomoaki Honma's partner of making up abuse allegations.

In this case, Satin and ESPECIALLY Shepard have track records of targeting POC and female wrestlers for no other reason than bigotry. Satin's coverage of WWE is way more access-based than anyone except perhaps another stooge in Justin Barrasso. Also, he was one of the cavalry coming to the defense of Michael Elgin when the person he abused and that one of his students raped came looking for justice. Shepard, on the other hand, is way out of pocket on his bullshit. As far back as 2016, he went in on Kofi Kingston celebrating a milestone because he thought Kingston was playing "the race card." In recent history, he's come down hard on women's wrestling, criticizing WWE's push of it, not for reasons like "they're not serious about it" and "it feels like tokenism," but "women are inferior and boring." And what does he have to hang his hat on? Breaking the return of the XFL? A football league? He's got a worse track record than literally anyone who self-styles as a reporter.

But what is the value of a wrestling report? A certain sect of Wrestling Twitter gives so much respect and credence to reporting that is only accurate when reporting on things the companies give as press releases, and better preference is given to having it first rather than having it right. It's how Shepard can use getting one non-wrestling piece of news concerning a wrestling personality to catapult himself to being a newsman who basically only uses his bully pulpit to spew grotesque sexism. Is that really what should really have value? If Shepard were right more than once every never, would his ghastly opinions be more valid? This is a question some people have to ask themselves.

That's the biggest reason why Banks potentially punching down in this case might not be the worst thing. Then again, she didn't mention the people by name. Even if she did, would a dogpile on a gross misogynist like Shepard, who doubled down on bashing Banks in his response and slammed Satin for issuing an apology, be such a bad thing? The worst thing would be Banks using the media arm of a company that has done things a billion times worse than even Shepard has done, and I get that. I also like seeing gross people get what's coming to them. Maybe it's for the best that Banks didn't mention him by name. Maybe Shepard will catch a ban from Twitter or something else that he deserves.

The reality is that the people running news sites and reporting on wrestling don't do a good enough job to be as transparently awful as people, but then again, how much do you have to get right to warrant the levels of putridity that someone like Shepard displays on a regular basis? How many stories do you have to break in order to get a pass for enabling an abuser and the rapist he's protecting like Satin? The real answer is nothing excuses that, but sadly, if you tell people what they want to hear in terms of "backstage gossip," those levels of accuracy can fall way lower than 100 percent. Still, the fact that they'd bite on an obviously phony-sounding story about two POC female wrestlers shows their asses a lot, and it shows the asses of everyone who bought it without question as a smear of either one of those two wrestlers.
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Search

MDKing of Trios

September 18, 2019, 6:30 am
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MDK BABY
Graphics via ChikaraPro.com
The sixteenth team for King of Trios has been announced. I speculated that it might be the Proteus Wheel or a Whisper-led counter-Crucible team, and hoped that it might be the Minnesota Wrecking Zoo. The trio that was announced, however, was so much different, and to be honest, so, so, SO much better. Nick Gage will make his King of Trios debut, leading his Nerder Death Kill tag partner Thomas Santell and fellow Beyond Wrestling Uncharted Territory stalwart Kris Statlander into battle. Santell is no stranger to Chikara, competing under his prior alias, Antonio "The Promise" Thomas. He drank some Ovaltine, found a sweater, and is now wholesome and also more technically grounded. Statlander has become one of the hottest properties in indie wrestling in addition to being perhaps the best unsigned wrestler out there. One can question how long she will remain unsigned at this rate, but the longer the big companies hold out, the better it is for indie fans.

Gage, however, is the main event. He's not a stranger to Chikara at all, which is a hilarious thing to say. His dalliances had been confined to wrestling for Beyond Wrestling's partisans during the two promotions' feud last year. He left with unfinished business, as at Cibernetico last year, he cut the tail off the Proletariat Boar of Moldova. That business will probably stay unfinished, since Boar has been estranged from Chikara over the last year. Pity, I loved the Boar. Anyway, regardless of how shocking it is or not, it's still an incredible pairing. Gage has lost little of his steam since coming back from his second stint in jail (which was for bullshit, by the way), which is pretty rare.

One more bit of news, last week, I mentioned that Boomer Hatfield would be pulling double duty at Trios. That statement was factually incorrect. When Boomer entered Trios with father Dasher and cousin Molly McCoy, he forfeited his slot in Rey de Voladores. That takes a little more drama out of his weekend, but Chikara does what Chikara does, and it'll probably turn out okay. Alex Zayne and Cajun Crawdad, however, will still compete in the eight-wrestler mini-tournament that will take place over the second and third nights of action. The third night of the tournament also has a ten-team tag team gauntlet, and the first two pairs have been announced, and neither are surprising. The first two in are Los Ice Creams. The Chikara staples will look to win their second tag gauntlet; they won at the infamous English Trios in 2017. The second team are former Campeones de Parejas, the Closers. Rick Roland and Sloan Caprice will look to get on the fast track to getting those titles back by winning the gauntlet and taking the points at stake. Each win is worth a point, so theoretically, a team that starts out can get nine points if they run the table.

Team MDK completes the slate for Trios this year. The other 15 teams can be found right here:
  • Team Pump (Scott Steiner, Jordynne Grace, Petey Williams)
  • The Ancient Order of Nations (Mick Moretti, Adam Hoffman, Jack Bonza)
  • The Carnies (Kerry Awful, Nick Iggy, Tripp Cassidy)
  • The Embassy (Prince Nana, Jimmy Rave, Sal Rinauro)
  • The VeloCities (Mat Diamond, Jude London, Paris DeSilva)
  • Team FIST (Icarus, Tony Deppen, Travis Huckabee)
  • The Crucible (Ophidian, Kimber Lee, Lance Steel)
  • The Creatures of the Deep (Oceanea, Merlok, Hermit Crab)
  • The Colony (Fire Ant, Green Ant, Thief Ant)
  • The Crucible II (Matt Makowski, Devantes, EM DeMorest)
  • Three Queens (Solo Darling, Willow Nightingale, Freddie Mercurio)
  • The Quack Pack (Mike Quackenbush, Rob Killjoy, Lance Lude)
  • The Nightmare Warriors (Hallowicked, Frightmare, Kobald)
  • The Fightin' Hatfield Family (Dasher Hatfield, Boomer Hatfield, Molly McCoy)
  • Team Juke Joint (Lucas Calhoun, Stray Kat, Missile Assault Man)
King of Trios takes place in Reading, PA at the Goodwill Beneficial Association October 4-6. October 4, you will see all eight first round matches, a show packed wall-to-wall with trios action. October 5 is the big day, and a big day needs a big breakfast (not Baron Corbin). That's why King of Brunches will start first in the morning. Seating is limited, so inquire now. Later in the afternoon is Fan Conclave where you can play games and hang out with your favorite Chikara wrestlers. Then, the evening holds the second card, with four quarterfinal matches, two exciting four-way Rey de Voladores eliminators, and a battle between master and student, as BLANK battles the Young Lions Cup holder, Still Life with Apricots and Pears. Then, on October 6, you get the semifinal and final matches of Trios, the final match of Rey de Voladores, the tag gauntlet, and a few more tasty treats for your viewing pleasure.
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Don't Touch the Wrestlers, Pt. 34,569, or Change Has To Come from Within

September 18, 2019, 10:50 am
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Banks should be able to wrestle without someone touching her, but the problem is deeper than wrestling
Photo Credit: WWE.com
In case you missed it, and judging by the declining number of subs for the WWE Network, you may have, Sasha Banks was accosted, or at least attempted to be accosted by a fan at Clash of Champions. As she and Becky Lynch brawled in the crowd, Lynch threw her back into the ringside area over the barricade. As Banks flew over the guard barrier, a male fan reached over and attempted to touch her butt. Content warning, I'm going to post the video, so if you have bad memories of people trying to touch or successfully touching you, I wouldn't play it:



Every couple of months, you have to remind the fans at-large that they're not supposed to touch the wrestlers or verbally abuse them. It happened in Mexico with Scarlett Bordeaux getting unwantedly hugged by an overzealous AAA fan, and it almost happened again here. The common thread was that in both cases, it was a dude trying to get sexual thrills by violating a female wrestler's personal space and body autonomy. Women, people in general, only want to be touched in a sexual manner when they consent to it. They can't consent to a fan putting their grubby hands on them in the heat of the moment when they, the wrestler, have their attention placed on the match they're trying to work.

The attitude is not limited to wrestling fans. Ask a woman, any woman, and odds are they've been on the receiving end of an unwanted grope, someone touching their body that took the woman by surprise and without her consent. It happens in schools, locker rooms, transit systems, even out in the open. People who don't respect boundaries are everywhere, and it's ingrained in their minds that they're in the right. They're not assaulting someone. They're taught that it's just them "shooting their shot." The best example of something in popular culture condoning this behavior is in Billy Madison. The kids dare Billy, played by Adam Sandler, to touch Veronica Vaughn's boobs (Vaughn played by Bridgette Wilson). He first remarks "That's assault, brotha" before agreeing to do it if he was "double-dog dared." He followed through, and Vaughn seemed to play it off with no real repercussions to Billy (the two ended up together at the end of the movie).

So, if everyone says it's okay to sexually harass a person minding their own business or doing their job, why should anyone, the person in the video or otherwise, do anything else? Whether you believe it or not, the established code of conduct rewards creeps under the guise of being bold or "shooting their shot." If they can do so to a random woman on the street, the next level up is to try it with a celebrity to see if it works. Thus you have the fan in Mexico trying to take Bordeaux home with her and the guy from Sunday trying to touch Banks' behind.

It can seem futile to shout #MeToo to the wrestling industry when people seem not to want to address it in real life. For example, supposed opposition leaders who theoretically care for women are opposed to making someone accused of sexual misconduct face some kind of consequence for it. No one with power cares about people, and the only way to change that is to fight to get people in power who do. Until then, the best thing to do is to keep ostracizing creeps like the guy from Sunday night. He shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a live wrestling show, and Banks is apparently going to sue him. It's not much in this world where the underdogs are marginalized people and their opponents are favored by a billion points. But it's a start.
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What'd You Do, Minoru Suzuki?

September 18, 2019, 12:00 pm
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Did Suzuki make a mistake by removing Liger's mask?
Photo Credit: NJPW1972.com
Minoru Suzuki is one of the most feared men in wrestling, not just New Japan Pro Wrestling, but all of the industry. He acts like his reputation allows, attacking his targets at will, bending the rules, assaulting referees, intentionally disqualifying himself to make a point. Whether he's in the right or the wrong morally, he knows that in what he can get away with, he's untouchable because might equals right in the lawless jungle that is pro wrestling. While he doesn't conquer every challenge put in front of him, like his failed IWGP World Championship attempt at Kazuchika Okada in England, nothing in his path is something he necessarily feels the need to fear.

However, should he act like he has impunity? He may have no reason to fear his latest feud partner, fellow old man wrestler Jushin "Thunder" Liger in his normal form. However, at Monday's Destruction in Kagoshima show, Suzuki may have bitten off more than he could chew. In an eight-man tag match where he teamed with fellow Suzuki-gun members Zack Sabre, Jr, DOUKI, and Yoshinobu Kanemaru against Liger, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe, and Tomoaki Honma, he tempted fate. He removed Liger's mask. While it seemed like he had the last laugh, sitting besmirked with Liger's iconic mask in his hand while the soon-to-be-retired legend of the ring crawled away, flanked by Young Lions and towel over his head, he might have sealed his own destruction.

Liger has a rarely-appearing alter-ego that comes out when his mask or hair are damaged or removed. Kishin Liger, with a face painted like he was a member of a black metal band and armed with the poison mist of the first person who dared cross him, Keiji Mutoh, is a far more violent incarnation of the legendary wrestler. You would think that Suzuki would have learned, because the last time Kishin came out, it was at the goading from members of his stable, Taichi and TAKA Michinoku to be specific. Taichi is still around. Michinoku hasn't left as much as he's nursing an injury. You'd think they'd have strenuously urged their boss not to cross Liger with extreme measures. Yet here they are, ready for a hellish demon to come for them.

The action ensures that the eventual match between Liger and Suzuki will be violent, potentially bloody, and most likely cathartic. Whether it happens at King of Pro Wrestling in October or if they delay it out to the Tokyo Dome on January 4 and 5, it will not be for the faint of heart. To be honest though, it should happen sooner rather than at WrestleKingdom. I don't think Liger wants to go out as Kishin. Jushin is how he should retire against someone on friendlier terms, meaning the bloodbath might happen at King of Pro Wrestling, the same show that'll also have Okada defending the title against SANADA. All in all, New Japan is fixing to have a hot end of the year.
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Twitter Request Line, Vol. 274

September 19, 2019, 12:15 pm
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The GOAT game show and host
Photo Credit: Jeopardy.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

1. Jeopardy - I was smart, and Jeopardy was a show where smart people were the contestants. What else could you want? (Get well soon, Alex Trebek)

2. Double Dare - Kinda like Jeopardy but with a lot more slime. Plus, Harvey the PA guy was a DJ on WMGK in Philly.

3. Wheel of Fortune - It's fun to yell at people overthinking solving a puzzle, way more fun than you'd think.

4. Guy's Grocery Games - It's got the edge over Chopped because Guy Fieri is affable and the judges aren't throbbing penises, and that's even with overlap between the shows!

5. American Gladiators - It was enough like pro wrestling for me to like it and just different enough to have a hook.

Saturday Night Live saying they wanted to cater to a "conservative audience" is pretty rich given the show had Donald Trump host in the midst of his primary campaign for the Republican nomination to be President and they caved HARD when Dan Crenshaw whined and cried about them lampooning him on the show. But pretending those things didn't happen, I'm not sure why SNL should've been in the market for anyone but whom they've been hiring over the years. Comedy done in service of conservatism is only funny if you like seeing the powerful punch down at marginalized folks. Asian people already have it rough enough over here without dude pretending to be one and badly.

What this Shane Gillis thing shows is that SNL doesn't give a fuck. Just because they haven't had to vet their cast before now doesn't mean they shouldn't have done it for everyone from Chevy Chase and Bill Murray down to all the way down to Gillis. It's not only morally right, but unfortunately, the biggest reason to do it is so you don't lose sponsorship money. If you're going to push the boundaries, why not hire a leftist comedian? I guess Barack Obama wouldn't return their calls in that case, but hey, you can't win 'em all.

It is asinine to start tanking in the beginning of the season, like the Dolphins are. You put together a competent roster and who knows, maybe the Patriots turn into a MASH unit and you can win the division at 9-7. The probability is low, but it could happen. If not, maybe everyone else in the conference beats the hell out of each other, you get a wild card, somehow, say, Baltimore beats the Pats in the divisional round, and you beat, say, the AFC South Champ and the Chiefs in consecutive rounds. Football is the second easiest sport to make a run in after hockey. Now, if you're the team that turns into a MASH unit, and you find out your gambit at taking, say, Ryan Fitzpatrick and Josh Rosen as a franchise quarterback fails? Then it makes sense to tank around Week Six or later. There's so much variance in football, and because the season is 16 games instead of 82 or 162, you can have a team that on paper is out of the top 12 in talent, sneak into the playoffs, and make an improbable run. You don't tank until you know the season's lost.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
If I won the lottery this week and gave you a job as a full time daily Podcaster, different topic each day of the week, what are the themes of these five podcasts?
I had an idea similar to this if I ever hit the lottery and decided to do podcasts for a living instead of working.

MONDAY - The Holzerman Hungers Scrodcast - A deep dive into eating, food, and anything culinary
TUESDAY - The Wrestling Podcast - The bread and butter show, first edition
WEDNESDAY - The Super Sports Hour - Talking with a guest each week about happenings in sports, mostly football, but other stuff too
THURSDAY - The Wrestling Podcast - Second weekly edition
FRIDAY - Shit on a Shingle - A podcast concept I had where I'd just talk to a guest doing a project about their passions over a plate of diner cream chipped beef from a random Philly diner

Maybe I could sub out the second The Wrestling Podcast for something else, but honestly, why would I?

Boy Scout Camp with the boy in August was fun for many reasons. The food was not one of them. I refrained from eating the grossest-looking stuff, but I tried the pizza we had for lunch the second day we were there. Pizza, how could anyone fuck up pizza? Let me tell you, that pizza I choked down there was nasty. The cheese was burnt hard, and it wasn't even midgrade cheese where if it is browned it's crunchy and delicious. No. The sauce wasn't liquid anymore. The crust, I don't even wanna talk about the crust. Next year, I'm bringing a hoagie tray.

I think they are. USA Network has been generous with declining ratings with RAW so I can see them giving leeway to NXT. I also think NXT might even grow its audience. Who knows. But I don't see it as TNA jumping to Monday nights in 2010. Rather, it's World Championship Wrestling starting Monday Nitro back when RAW wasn't really that big a deal. I'd say they'll both be head-to-head with each other in 2022 too, unless the world ends by then. It just might.

The worst part of the 2018 booth, Jason Witten, is gone and playing football again. Joe Tessitore and Booger McFarland are in the booth now, but while Witten was terrible, I'm not sure McFarland was much better? I haven't watched a game this year and I probably won't unless the Eagles are playing (Mondays are for Switch and catching up on wrestling). Tessitore is a decent enough PBP guy but not enough to overcome the dumb storyline talking points ESPN gives to him. Overall, Monday Night Football would be better off not existing, but I'm also biased to the fact that Red Zone should have as many games playing at both 1 PM and 4 PM windows as possible.

Honestly, I think if you want to put on a wrestling show, you have to be able to afford the expenses. That means paying all the wrestlers fair wages, having a ring and not having to borrow one from a pedophile, paying off for a good venue, ensuring concessions, and then making sure the venue is safe. If that sounds expensive, it is. But it SHOULD be expensive to keep dipshits like the dudes behind Canuck Pro or whatever shitdick shindie promotion ends up on blast from an indie wrestler every other week from putting on a charade and trying to play small business tyrant without the backing of money. Hell, people WITH money shouldn't play small business tyrant either, but I'm a socialist. I don't believe in wealth anyway.

But gear is a whole other game. Should a wrestling promotion have to pay in full or subsidize cost for gear that a wrestler will use on other shows that aren't theirs? It's a tricky question that I want to say "yes" to but realize that maybe you should show the promoters a little consideration. That being said, if you're big enough that you can make a wrestler sign a contract with you, whether it be exclusive or not, you should pay for gear. That goes for Ring of Honor, Impact Wrestling, and Major League Wrestling. It goes double for New Japan Pro Wrestling and All Elite Wrestling.

It goes A MILLIONFOLD for WWE, and it is disgusting that a company that makes billions in revenue is making its talent pay for their own gear. Maybe instead of donating to Donald Trump or starting vanity football leagues, make sure your wrestlers, who you pride as the best in the world to do this, have the gear they need to look the best and that will protect them the best. The fact that WWE doesn't fully pay for gear makes me so mad that I'm not answering anymore questions. Oh wait, this is the last one? Lucky me, I suppose.
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The Black and Gold Standard: Premiere Episode

September 23, 2019, 6:45 am
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BOOM! (this and all photos courtesy of WWE.com)
Let's begin at the beginning, not with the slick work you knew was coming from God's Production Team and ubiquitous Papa Haitchery, but with this homemade video by BACHUR you might have seen going around leading into the biggest weekly TV episode in Full Sail's NXTenure:



There's a reason why he used the "Lonely Road of Faith"/Desire framework to fill in NXT's history; longtime friends like your intrepid reviewer remember a figurehead babyface Ric Flair in early 2002 using the original to illustrate half a century of the McMahons' grappling empire as it changed names and got the F out, turning into the WWE we alternately despise, tolerate and love today.

With the move to being broadcast live for 2 hours on a major cable channel, NXT might not be changing its name but a lot of things about what we knew are going to be minimized if not evaporated entirely. They also now face a similar seismic shift in not only presentation, but a future in which more hands will have to be on deck to survive their growing pains as well as the incoming competition from AEW's Dynamite on TNT in a few weeks' time.  As NXT changes so too does this column: formerly in incantations of the Best Coast Bias and NXT In 60 Seconds, the B and GS hopes to use the expanded weekly show to expand on what worked over the course of an episode (Gold) and what didn't (sadly, Black).

While famously nothing gold can stay, the premiere panned out far more than it didn't. Now - appropriately for a WWE product - it is about building momentum not only ahead of future adversaries but for their 3rd WarGames in November.  Let's begin with the thing that will probably have the biggest impact on the program going forward:

GOLD: the Undisputed Era
For fans of the truculent collective, the outcome of the North American title match went very much according to plan: Roddy kept up for most of it, and even when Dream kicked out of the End of Heartache, Kyle was there to get Drake's attention and Adam was there with a friendly blindside superkick and just like that (and another EOH), a fifth North American champion was made. The yearlong threat became a promise just after Labor Day, which is a great ROI and follow through on Some Guy's prophecy. It was the right choice all the way around - Dream is probably the biggest babyface this side of Gargano on the roster and in obvious ways has a deeper association with the championship than his predecessors, and outside of his heel turn match Roddy was wandering into Sami Zaynish "never win the big one" territory at least so far as his NXT singles career has meant.
As a Hall of Famer so eloquently put it, it ain't braggin', muthafucka - if you back it up. Now UE has, and certainly has nothing to worry about vis a vis headlining WarGames yet again or certain former champions who might want Goldie back returning to action from surgeries in the near future. NO COMEUPPANCE! You hear them, rabid and loyal fanbase? NO COMEUPPANCE!

...sure!
GOLD: Blazing Saddles
You would think that given the fact there was a title match with a title change as well as two #1 contendership matches, the main event street fight between Matt Riddle and Killian Dain would ... well ... have a conclusive ending? But never mind that shit: Riddle landed 2 suplexes, then they fought into the back, then a bunch of random roster members proceeded to brawl for the rest of the show. A clear winner and a clear loser? Piss on you, we work for Triple H!

Never fear, dear reader: the rematch will occur this week with a future title shot at What's-His-Name thanks to the quick work and steady hand of Master Regal. Most notable about the Full Sail spanning melee that concluded the show was the fact that WALTER jumped Riddle at the soonest opportunity, backed up by his Imperium mates in the parking lot. Will this lead to Dain joining Imperium since his former stable mate A. Wolfe is already in the pocket? There have been crazier conspiracy theories when it comes to the pro graps, especially since way down the line you can spin it out further with the ex-SAnitY members against, presumably Aichner and Barthel. But that is the future, and what the now is focused on is another Dain/Riddle match that's probably heading towards Riddle/Cole, another cheap excuse for Stamford to print money.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
GOLD: the Women's Division
With the expansion of time comes the expansion of opportunities, and what the premiere USA show displayed was that an integral part of NXT even getting to this point was their women's division. Even in fallow periods the women have gone just as hard if not harder than the men, and now they not only got their new title program over but showed something special in their undercard, too. In fact the fatal fourway between Bianca BelAir, Candice LeRae, Mia Yim and Choke Me The Fuck Out, Io Shirai (hey, the heel turn gave her a new wrestling name. I don't make the rules) was the premiere's premiere and gave every single woman a couple chances to shine before Candice managed to reverse rana Mia and follow up with a quebrada to earn her title shot. Watching them haul ass for double digit minutes through a commercial break, but it said without saying one of the things NXT is going to be speaking about going forward: they aren't kicking off the show to get them out of the way, they're kicking off the show because they're dope enough to set the pace for the entire show. Hopefully seeing this spawned a new generation of fans of women's wrestling.

Not only did Candice get the duke, but she got to go face-to-face with Queen Shayna and stand up for herself. Sure, Marina and Jessamyn were lurking around her periphery while she engaged in a bit of slightly uncharacteristic smacktalk with the champ, but she kept her balance and an eye on them and the prize at the same time. That bout will occur and may main event the show on the 2nd, and there already is a backstory built in with her and CMTFOIo should they go in that direction with the title.

On the undercard...well, I want to say Xia Li fought Aliyah, but in actuality what happened was Xia beat Aliyah like a dirty rug. You could even call it a squash. On a show with a title match and title change as well as two #1 contendership matches, what may have been the biggest highlight of the show was Li getting her biggest spotlight to date and absolutely shining despite a botch of a double jump. In fact, her strikes and kicks looked the right amount of snug in the closing moments after it happened, and given the fact Stamford loves the archtype and with her sometime house show tag team partner Karen Q injured, this is the perfect time to put some time behind the kind, attractive woman who could also KUNG FU YOU TO DEATH. There's not enough of that on NXT, in WWE, or for that matter in the world, and the fact she anchored the match against someone with far more experience and bossed up after a blown spot suggests her future is on the up and up. Hell, you could run her v. Io at any point you wanted to over the next couple years and maybe several times depending on if she can keep her upward trajectory going.

Women's wrestling! What a concept!

Too sweet to be sour
GOLD: Lio Rush
It turns out all the rumors of the Man of the Hour's death were greatly exaggerated as he returned to action on this show and successfully yanked the possibility of the number one contendership away from Oney Lorcan. As Xia brought something different and stark to the show in her successful squash, the guys from 205 Live did the same thing between Rush's preternatural speed and Lorcan's technical prowess. There are rumors that the 205 tent is going to be folded under NXT's auspices, and frankly that entire subset of the E will probably be better off. Why kill yourself in front of 1/20th of Smackdown's audience for golf claps when the Full Sailors will give you borderline standing Os just for parting the curtain? It also gave Lorcan a chance to show off a rare role where he had a noticeable size advantage over his opponent, especially when the crowd was so fully behind Rush that it turned him babyface without him having to say a word like Rhea Ripley a couple weeks ago. With incorporating aspects of WWEUK as well as 205, it is clear in this new era that all the possible hands, especially the good ones, are on deck.

BLACK: Sean Maluta
He ran into Cameron Grimes' 1-Up stomp and got pinned quicker than it took you to win this sentence. It was a strange decision made stranger by the fact that later in the show there was a debuting NPC who was only out there to serve as fodder to set up a bigger angle and match (more about which later) and even he got to last several times longer than six seconds before getting murked.

BLACK: Cameron Grimes
The top hat doesn't seem to lend anything to a technical savage character-wise besides the suspicion that he's seen Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats at least twice live and will not shut up about it at parties. We didn't get to see Angel Garza v. Raul Mendoza but there was enough time for this? Where is Swerve?! For that matter, where was Jordan Myles? (To be fair, we might see him next week given that they're doing Dijakovic/Lee III, which is probably going to will be golden as it always is.)

GOLD: Arturo Ruas
The former Adrian Jauonde gets the inaugural Chuck Howley Award for getting golden even though he technically got in the black due to the finger snapping efforts of one Peter Dunne. In the same fashion that Xia's kung fu flavor might have the special sauce to differentiate her from the pack, Ruas used the biggest opportunity he's had to date to show off his capoiera influence on his style. He survived the early wave of grapplefuckery, then all too briefly went after Pete's fingers for a receipt. He also managed to surive the X-Plex (avoiding the Bitter End entirely) and didn't even give up until Dunne doubled down on his joint manipulation combined with a submission. Besides, any time people get educated about capoiera being cultivated by Brazilian slaves to fight their oppressors by Nigel McGuinness during the "dead period" of a match? AU TO MAT IC GOLD.

Reclaiming his time

GOLD: Imperium and KUSHIDA
Denzel Dejournette, at least as of right now, is the footnote to a larger story that he may never figure into again. And yet, we are the better off for his unwilling willingness to get ambushed and laid out. DDJ is what would happen if Kid N' Play were forced to be the same person, and after he got his Public Enemy on (Rocco and Johnny, not Chuck and Flav) he found himself besieged on all sides by Imperium. The underlings were there to clear a path for their leader and WWEUK champeen WALTER. He reiterated their mission statement of The Ring being Sacred and said that anyone who disrespected them would answer to him. Unfortunately for him, it turned out the disrespect was about to come. You see, Denzel had had an opponent, and KUSHIDA wasn't in time for a save but was in plenty of time to note that the current moment was meant to be his in a match. Unafraid, he marched to the ring, waylaid the underlings, and even landed some blows on Der Ring General before bailing out due to the numbers game. Again, the Russian Doll of matches they've made to set up getting to KUSHIDA/WALTER in a Loser Has To Decapitalize Their Name match are all going to be worthy of a viewer's time.

The success of this show can't be measure this week, or even this year. It may be 2022, 2026 or never until we find out what truly succeeded with the program. But there are way more reasons to shine than blots above, and until Dynamite gets going and as long as they have the hysterically deep lineup that they employ there's a chance we won't look at this as a tipping point into main roster style bloviating and Perfectly Cromulent Wrestling Hours. Rather, they may succeed further than their wildest dreams throughout the growing pains about to occur and come out something bigger and better than is still demonstrably the NXT we know and love.

And we'll see you in a week's time to continue walking down this occasionally lonely road, wrestle fwiends. May the Standard come to enrich your life as NXT has certainly done mine.
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