Vital Criticism, or Never Turn Your Brain Off, Ever

February 3, 2014, 10:30 am

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Criticizing this isn't superfluous, but essential Photo Credit: WWE.com

A WWE superstar who wished to remain anonymous sent a letter to "Internet fans" via F4WOnline. Said letter was behind the paywall, but PW Mania transcribed it. Since that site has ghastly, invasive ads, I recommend against clicking the courtesy link, and instead, reading said letter here, emphasis mine:

Internet is so funny. You all read the sites so you all should know the ‘plans’ for Mania. None of those plans have Bryan in a title match so the internet exploding at the end of the show is beyond laughable. Plus dont hate on Rey, he didn’t book himself as #30. The way most of you were acting the company should have called an audible and put Brooklyn Brawler as #30 just to piss you off even more. over 50,000 mania tix sold and a network that will change your life for ever is about to launch, so just relax and enjoy the product the company gives you. By the way, didn’t you all shit on the wwe for the Sept – Nov ppvs last year and said you were done, but turned around to watch/buy the Rumble? Pittsburgh you were an awesome crowd and it was an honor to be in your building last night.

Firstly, the fact that the writer wanted to remain "anonymous" raises several questions. At the very least, this commentator is supremely craven hiding behind his mask. Still, this person made a salient point in that Rey Mysterio shouldn't have been held at fault for his entry into the Rumble. However, the rest of this missive was steaming hot garbage.

Putting aside the ridiculous framing of every "Internet" fan as a fickle boycott artist or giving credence to leaked plans about Mania that oftentimes change, the most damning thing stated was the part I bolded. What this phantom is advocating is that you, the fan, should shut up and keep forking your money over to Vince McMahon regardless of how happy his product makes you. Of course, this idea flies in the face of how capitalism works. If WWE isn't holding up its end of the bargain as a content producer, you have the right not to support them financially. More importantly, if WWE is veering off a path of satisfaction, you, the consumer, have the right to voice your concern. Whether WWE listens to those complaints or not is out of your control, but at the same time, the wrestling business for years has worked on instant feedback. Cheering and booing is not just a means to an end, but it is one of the ends valued by any wrestling promoter in the last half-century or better.

Art is not an entity that requires universal praise just for existing. In order for art to be taken seriously, critics and consumers need to be able to accept the best of it and reject the things that don't pass muster. Since consensuses are hard to reach in general, debate must remain open. Some folks have made the argument that WWE doesn't produce art. I disagree with that notion, but I understand that promotions in the independent ranks probably fit the profile better.

However, even producers of indie content oftentimes show thin skin towards criticism. Even in response to National Pro Wrestling Day, I've seen problems voiced by various fans and critics, and folks within the Chikara fold have broken out the "HATERZ" dismissal. This attitude is even more egregious on the independent level because discussions can enact more change due to the compressed size of the fandom and the louder the voice of the fan is to a promoter like Mike Quackenbush rather than to a corporate American denizen like Vince McMahon.

The truth of the matter is that all informed opinions are valid. No one is entitled to their own facts, obviously. For example, bashing the Colt Cabana/Drew Gulak match for having "multiple botches" is completely off the mark because the first and only botch I saw in the match happened well into the third fall. The fact of that matter is that the style worked by the two wrestlers was more "loose" and was supposed to look less fluid and choreographed than, say, a lucha-libre inspired match like the bonus main event. However, the response to someone who might say "I don't like that style, I would like to see more lucha libre," is not to call that person a hater or to ignore them without second thought.

Constructive criticism and exchange of ideas is how any artistic venture grows, especially one that is proprietarily given over for consumption as part of the narrative. That exchange only works if you, as a viewer, never shut off your brain and always give thought to the thing you're watching. Whether the content is a high-test independent concept promotion like Chikara or the Michael Bay-production of wrestling in WWE, you should never, ever let something you voluntarily want to watch insult your intelligence, no matter what those producing the art say on the matter.

For WWE employees to come out and call out the "Internet" is the worst of the worst offenses, given that they stand to benefit the most by the discontent of the more vocal fans. Unless that anonymous source was a member of the office or someone like John Cena or Randy Orton, the rank and file would benefit from ideas given by the more sane members of the hardcore fandom. Letting McMahon control the narrative, especially since he's totally lost the creative fastball that may have been overrated from jump, would hurt everyone involved.

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From the Archives: Young Bucks vs. The Colony, High Noon

February 3, 2014, 1:30 pm

≫ Next: The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 3

≪ Previous: Vital Criticism, or Never Turn Your Brain Off, Ever

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Hey guys, have you heard? CHIKARA'S BACK! To celebrate, I will present to you a Chikara match from what I surmise is the finest wrestling event that I have ever attended, High Noon. The show was loaded from top to bottom with great matches, pre-show to gut-wrenching and emotional main event. Not to be trifled with, the Colony, arguable Chikara's best tag team, welcomed the challenge from the best tag team perhaps in the world, the Young Bucks. Check it out!

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 3

February 3, 2014, 5:00 pm

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The Squad with their number one fan Photo Credit: Brandon Stroud

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. The Submission Squad (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Icarus led the charge, and Archibald Peck drove the DeLorean, but the fuse was lit by four guys who had every reason in the world to let Chikara die after the way the fans have treated them for nearly five years over one match. If that doesn't scream dedication, I don't know what is.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - The Seahawks won the Super Bowl because they're a great team who had one of the most dominant defenses in NFL history. They won 43-8, however, because they were playing for Daniel Bryan. FACT.

3. Rodizio-style Beef Rib (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Ain't no party like a churrascaria party, and the best cuts of beef are the fattiest ones. I broke my "clean eating" challenge for a day, and when I ate this at Chima, I swear, I saw God.

4. AJ Lee (Last Week: 5) - After seeing Nattie Neidhart drop some transphobic static on Tamina Snuka on WWE's C-D programming this past week, I know why Lee has such contempt for everyone else in her division.

5. Richard Sherman (Last Week: 4) - He got hurt, sure, but he was part of a swarming, ravenous, fictional-piranhas-skeletonizing-a-cow intense unit before his injury.

6. Jennifer Lawrence (Last Week: 9) - She's rumored to have gotten engaged in a secret manner, but that news is a false flag operation to distract her enlistment in the Space Marine Corps to study for her role as Samus Aran in a future Metroid feature length motion picture.

7. Mark Henry (Last Week: 6) - Mark Henry is taking the snowfall in Texas as an opportunity to build an army of snowmen to help him beat back Brock Lesnar and his horde of sentient Jimmy John's sandwiches... no, I've already said too much.

8. Molly Schuyler (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The military mom showed up to Wing Bowl, Philadelphia's ode to gluttony and misogyny, told the planners to shove their sexist parade floats and trappings up their asses, broke the Kobayashi record, and then held said planners up for money when they asked if she'd come back. Bad. Fucking. Ass.

9. Bruno Mars (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I was skeptical of his selection as Super Bowl halftime performer, even though I like his super-ubiquitous "Locked out of Heaven." Then he was lowered onto the stage doing a badass drum solo, and I was won over IMMEDIATELY.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: The fake-Tursas looking guy that Ares has with him now? del Rey took him out with her mind Saturday.

Instant Feedback: Pyrrhic

February 3, 2014, 8:40 pm

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≪ Previous: The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 3

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The king of hollow victories? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton get together and tell stories. They're not old wives' tales or spun yarns about golden days. They are chapters in a combat journal, a war epic where each battle has its own flavor. With a larger battle looming in the distance, one with four deadly competitors joining them in the unforgiving structure made of steel and LEXAN, either man's strategy would have made sense. Orton, a man without a country, would want to end the match quickly by targeting the arm, the balance center for Bryan and the main instrument of his YES! Lock. For Bryan, taking out the leg and going for a leg submission would bring the match to a swift end and prove to the world that he could take out the Champion in five days. But the layers to the story were thicker than just preparation for a future date.

At the show's beginning, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon teased that maybe more than just pride or preparation were at stake in this contest. They reversed field on everything they had espoused since SummerSlam. The insincerity in their voices and the ambush they laid with Bryan's former best friend Kane indicated that party line was facetious, but to an insecure Champion and a hungry challenger, tone of voice becomes irrelevant. Orton has been clashing hard with his bosses, Bryan desperate for approval from his bosses. They willfully ignore things like track record and inflection and even the truth.

So, they got into the ring and employed not a strategy that would end the match quickly. Orton didn't even begin to work on Bryan's shoulder until after the commercial break. Bryan didn't go for moves that elicited quick tap-outs on the leg. He worked it over on the ringpost while taking his sweet time, and his Indian deathlock was more deliberate than a shithead Ted Cruz filibuster. Their intent was injury, but was that debilitation intended for weeks from now or for a more current time?

The face of the company, one owned by vainglorious blowhards who want perfection no matter what cost, has to be perfect. A man with bandages compressing his right shoulder and wrapped tightly up the arm is not a man worth putting in front of statuesque bronze godheads. A man who limps cannot lead by example. Victory was not enough. If being the face of WWE was at stake, then victory had to come at the expense of not only winning, but also making the other guy look far shabbier than the condition you ended up in.

Ultimately, while Bryan won the match, Orton won the war. The Authority chose him, and really, unless Kane had come to the ring to aid his former friend before a moment of total distrust caught him off guard, the decision was never in question. Orton's paranoia wouldn't let him see it, and Bryan, galvanized by the journey his favorite football team completed the night before, couldn't possibly know that the deck was stacked against him even if he should've had Admiral Ackbar screaming his signature line in his head from the moment Stephanie McMahon uttered doubt in her steadfastness against Bryan as company symbol.

But victory for Orton came at a great cost. He's down a leg and has four more challenges left. Maybe Orton's paranoia is justified. Then again, if he can come out of the other end of the Chamber with his two belts, like Pyrrhus of Epirus, he may not care as long as his hand is raised. He is proving that he can carry more of a story than just "Show up, RKO, leave." I'm looking forward to his turn as the madman whose regard for his soldiers, or in this case, his own health, is about as low as his self-awareness.

Gimme Stitches

February 4, 2014, 6:00 am

≫ Next: KENTA Is Not Coming to WWE... Yet

≪ Previous: Instant Feedback: Pyrrhic

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Photo Credit: WWE.com

Roman Reigns took a shot in the match against Big E Langston, Kofi Kingston, and Rey Mysterio that opened up a pretty good gash above his right eye. WWE released "graphic" photos of him getting stitched up. Maybe I'm desensitized, but I didn't think they were gruesome. However, I thought seeing Reigns get stitched up was kinda cool though. Wrestling may be staged, but all the scripting in the world isn't going to prevent EVERY shot from landing short.

KENTA Is Not Coming to WWE... Yet

February 4, 2014, 8:30 am

≫ Next: LOST and Found: How Chikara's Crossroads Are Similar to TV's Most Polarizing Show

≪ Previous: Gimme Stitches

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KENTA, perhaps the most influential Japanese junior heavyweight wrestler of the last decade, spoke about his recent extended workout at the WWE Performance Center. He revealed that the workout was not a tryout and that WWE was not interested in signing him now. He states that for the immediate future, his home is Pro Wrestling NOAH. However, he speaks at length about how he wants to go to WWE and how the company actually inspired him to stay in wrestling. The video is only two-plus minutes, but it is well worth the view.

I don't know much about the politics of Japanese professional wrestling, but from the sounds of his voice and the words he chose to use, I'm not sure KENTA will be staying with NOAH for too much longer. If this cruiserweight showcase program comes to fruition for the WWE Network, WWE would be stupid not to sign him. He wants to go, has already accomplished nearly everything he could do in NOAH, and would be a chance for the company to reverse its terrible, self-induced track record with Japanese superstars. I would be less excited if WWE just signed him to go to NXT, however, because of that track record.

I am generally against the segregation along weight class lines because I find the practice very limiting for storytelling. However, if the show is branded correctly, and they follow a similar model as the early WCW Cruiserweight Championship division, I think they can loose KENTA against guys like Adrian Neville, Evan Bourne, and other various signees and allow him to get over without saying a word. But as of right now, none of those ideas are more than just ideas. I'm just tossing stuff against the wall and seeing what's going to stick. However, given the glowing way he spoke about WWE, I would not be shocked to see KENTA in a WWE ring by the end of 2015.

LOST and Found: How Chikara's Crossroads Are Similar to TV's Most Polarizing Show

February 4, 2014, 10:30 am

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The DeLorean was part of Quack's masterplan, but did it pose more questions than it answered? Photo Credit: Zia Hiltey

LOST was a hot button for television fans for various reasons. The show started out as a pop culture phenomenon for creating a stranded-disaster epic with well-plotted mystery and science fiction elements. As the show progressed each season, the writers posed more questions that they didn't seem prepared to answer.

By the time the show finished, the fanbase was divided into two camps. One group, of which I was a part, didn't seem to care that so many of the minutiae introduced weren't given resolution. The growth of the characters and the emotional catharsis were enough to make the shows six season arc eminently satisfying. The other group was dissatisfied with how much of the show's mythology remained unpacked. Too many details were left unaddressed, and regardless of any emotional impact the show may have packed.

Despite my opinions on the show, I don't begrudge anyone for not being satisfied with how much of the show's seemingly infinite amount of questions posed were not addressed. Consumption of art is not universal. For every piece of art presented for public perusal, a near unlimited ways to watch and digest that singular example exist. Because one can interpret a piece of art in a plethora of ways, the show's legacy is an uncertain one at best. Granted, other shows may have more of a consensus legacy either way. Few people who have watched The Wire in its entirety seem to doubt its place in the pantheon, while a show like Whitney has earned its reputation in infamy for several reasons. Still, for as checkered as the show's perception is among its fans is, Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse, and JJ Abrams at least pushed the envelope, and the result saw them at least put a piece of art out for referendum. Some shows don't even get that benefit.

Mike Quackenbush is on the record as being a fan of LOST. Perhaps that piece of information could shed light on the direction where he is taking Chikara Pro Wrestling. In the last two years, the narrative surrounding the company has suggested more questions than answers. Saturday in Easton provided a moment of emotional catharsis the likes of which approached or even surpassed the levels produced by many of LOST's finale-style moments. Clearly, the story is nowhere close to being over. This moment seems more like a season finale than a grand watershed revolution.

But the number of questions that has been posed and not addressed seems staggering. With its monthly (at best) schedule and notorious glacial pace at advancing stories, the Chikara fandom seems to be splitting into similar camps as LOST fans did. In one corner, the fans who want return on their emotional investment sit excited that the wrestling promotion they love is back with a whole new story. In the other, fans who are skeptical at the lack of issues addressed on Saturday await whether the company's direction will tie up all the loose ends that it has left in its wake in the last two years.

I can't answer what camp Quack seems to be in, because I don't know him personally enough to ask him questions about his philosophy running a wrestling company. He seems like the kind of person who keeps that information close to his vest anyway. But in the past, he has almost always delivered on stories he has set out to tell. But he also has the benefit of hindsight. He's seen how polarizing LOST has been, and the ball is in his court as to how he wants to proceed.

Wrestling has definite advantages over scripted television in that the narrative is continuous and in the age of social media and streaming video, no time really is an "off" time to tell the story. Quack seems like he's the savvy type anyway. Most of the current story has been told through YouTube and Facebook so far anyway. Maybe the details will come in on the side while the main narrative will be for moments like the Submission Squad basically saying "OVER OUR DEAD BODIES" and the combined forces driving back Jimmy Jacobs and his army. Maybe I sound like an apologist in my own projections of how this story is going to play out. The only thing that I know at this point, however, is that I don't know anything about the future or how it will be conducted.

But I do know that Quack and Chikara are at a crossroads right now. The company already has riled up its base fans and they've polarized enough that the next year or so will be interesting to watch not just for what Chikara produces, but how fans react. A promotion shutting its doors as a storyline device isn't the mark of playing thing safe. Trying new things and skirting the edge will almost always engender a split reaction at first. However, how those moments are handled and followed up on defines where a legacy will end up.

So Chikara's legacy is now up for referendum. I can't say for sure how that referendum will go. Time is needed for the story to play out. But the evidence for either side feels so familiar to a show that I loved and obsessively watched when it was on the air. Whether Chikara's fate is the same as LOST or better depends on how things go. I might be biased, however, but I think Quack deserves a chance to reveal his masterplan though.

A New Worker Emerges

February 4, 2014, 1:30 pm

≫ Next: The Best Moves Ever: Triple Jump Moonsault

≪ Previous: LOST and Found: How Chikara's Crossroads Are Similar to TV's Most Polarizing Show

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The Submission Squad started the rally, Icarus led the assault, and Archibald Peck turned the tide, but assailANT's choice to stay with Chikara and not rise to the sleeper cell-call of Jimmy Jacobs Saturday may have been the most poignant of them all. As a reward, he was given the trust of Green and Fire Ants and some new gear. With Soldier Ant still AWOL, the Colony is still one ant short of a hill, but with assailANT, they'd be a functioning unit once more. However, that name smacked of The Swarm. He was no longer one who assails. He earned the gear of a fallen brother. Rechristened as Worker Ant, he can now provide an example for his son and perhaps help more with the search for Soldier so that a Championship trio can become an indomitable atomico...

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The Best Moves Ever: Triple Jump Moonsault

February 5, 2014, 4:30 am

≫ Next: Best Coast Bias: Self Portrait Of The Young Man As A Rising Star

≪ Previous: A New Worker Emerges

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Sabu was known for a lot of things, some good, many bad. But I always dug his triple jump moonsault. On the surface, the move seemed to have superfluous motion, but aren't most highspots full of rotations and corkscrews that don't really figure into the impact. However, they look cool. The triple jump moonsault looked cool.

Best Coast Bias: Self Portrait Of The Young Man As A Rising Star

February 5, 2014, 7:30 am

≫ Next: Your Midweek Links: The Only Thing on Punk You Should Read

≪ Previous: The Best Moves Ever: Triple Jump Moonsault

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The Big Skyscraper classin' up a fan's phone Screen Grab via PredaDORA the Explora Tumblr

This was quite the packed show, and the normally rabid crowd had plenty of stuff to pick from to give their highest ardor. Former WWE Champions, Bo Dallas pulling off possibly his first Cheney move, and Sami Zayn threatening to get in Antonio Cesaro's face next week based off of dueling promos.

And none of those things got the week's lone "This is awesome" chant. No, for that, we have to go to-- Colin Cassady?! All right, who's been screwing with this thing?

The answer, of course, is Big Cass and his wheeling buddy Little Enzo themselves. They were supposed to be the slickly greased goombas who you wanted to see get their faces punched in, the little guy running his yap as the brains of the operation with the strong silent muscle. But they were both too funny and too quick witted while seeming dumb, and even without Enzo leading the charge Cassady's taken his ability to take a singles spotlight and make it his own in-ring and out through the sheer strength of his character work. And that wasn't on display more than it was when he got in the ring against the Man of 1,004 Furs, Tyler Breeze. Firstly, Tyler be Tylering. But getting tired of waiting around, C² made it work in his favor by stoking the crowd. It's like S A W F T SAWFT was custom-made to get under the flawless skin of a horribly vain man like T-Beezy, and it happened three times.

Then Cassady went out of the ring and mocked Breeze's entire entrance to the rapturous cheers of the audience, and the approval of the don't-ever-leave-me-again Master Regal -- the old villain even complimented him on his hip action. That's when it happened, in the middle of Tyler's pitchfit. The crowd chanted "This is awesome!", and unlike their sudden allegiance switch earlier to pro-Ascension yelling YAH all the way as they disposed of Those Guys, this made total sense.

NXT is the petri dish in which to generate characters. You can see the problem with not having identifiers elsewhere as Sylvester LeFort looks for recruits who's biggest claim to fame to this point was getting shooting star pressed as lumberjacks by Adrian Neville in his losing Championship effort (but more on him later). People need A Thing before people'll care, and the further the character goes, the more likely it is to turn heads and propel the individual in question up the ladder closer to the rarefied air of the main roster. Hell, at this point the name Mike Dalton looks weird, doesn't it? Breeze mainlined his fury early, but then Cass went after the face and could've sealed the deal...only to choose his friendship with Enzo over the match he was currently in when Aiden English popped on screen to menance the wheelchair bound Italian.

[BTW, there's a term for a man who picks on somebody in a wheelchair; it starts with an S and you can guess the rest.]

While that sort of dedication to a friend is admirable, it's also the sort of thing that gets one Beauty Shotted right in the molars. Another shady win for TB and his spin wheel kick of increasing discomfort, and his winning streak should line him up for a title bout. But Cass ran backstage, and found a perfectly untouched Enzo. They then did a quick promo adeptly combining humor with the undercurrent of menace caused by English continuing to screw with them, and now out of wins to furry boot. They may not be into pinochle, Cards Against Humanity, or Ticket to Ride, but they're winning the big picture game that matters, and a rapidly growing fanbase along with it.

In a weird way, they're the Bizarro Bos. (The BizarrBos? The Bozarros? BOMG, I should probably stop while I'm still bohind.) Bo Dallas went from implict to explicit heeldom this week. Showing up late for the contract signing? Not signing so you could bring out an opponent's countryman and beat him down? Glaring the whole match at your future opponent between moves on your current one? Cheap shot on the way out of the ring? As usual when the words Bo Dallas have been thrown around in the past 18 months, not cool. Not cool at all. It led to a wholly deserved Neville tope, and a show-ending brawl that went all the way back up the ramp. The WWE Network is generally looked at as a game-changing thing, and since no one's officially signed up for it yet or any other content provider has followed suit, consider Dallas' alignment Thing One that it's causing change in.

Kept to its own little cabal of loyalists like your friendly scribe and fellow like-mindeds, it's easy to make Bo an anti-heel heel in his borderline Walter tightie Whites. First-hand, children can be easily persuaded to root against the longest-reigning NXT Champion because of his delusional happy world that permeates language, attitude, and ringwork alike. But with the neighborhood coming, something good may be being lost in the myriad of subtleties that the house was built upon. We know it runs in his genes, and his pre-match promo was sufficiently grating and self-unaware. Let's just hope in the need to get more eyeballs on their reigning show of the Year that they haven't just turned the Boverlord of Full Sail into the last thing he needs to be: just another heel.

You're reminded of the negative corrolations that that can bring when Corey Graves comes back on this show and CJ Parker wrestled the Miz.

Just saying.

The opposite of that, of course, is faces like the Jersey Boyz and like Bayley. Did I SQUEE when she threw a little girl a headband on her way out to the ring side by side with NattieKat? Not out loud. The little girl did. Now, did I SQUEE when Renee Young was introduced at the table and proceeded to shake Regal's hand before patting A-Ry (who on this episode even managed to sound magnanimous) on the shoulder and barely recognizing Tom's right to exist? Yes. Yes, I did. And that was even before the Young Regality ship went Full Sail in every sense of the word with Renee flat-out admitting if Regal was two decades junior they'd be a power couple. And, hey, guess what else? Sasha Banks has gotten much better in the ring. Whether she was, Charlotte should've just come back from. Certain THs will call it the Del Rey Dojo, and he's probably right, but man. Banks incorporated her Hundred Hand Slap into back work right off the back off a cheap shot since Bayley was so desperate to rearrange the North Carolinian's features and then worked the back over with stomps and more to set up a straightjacket hold.

Bayley got a comeback in before the inevitable catfight broke out, and Sasha used that to her advantage to roll up BayBay with the trunks in hand. But the Dr. of Huganomics survived and Belly-To-Bayleyed her for her second win over the BFFs, with one to go. Charlotte's barely gotten any ring time and yet, the lust is there to see Bayley finish off her clean sweep of the Plastics. This is especially needed given Paige's AWOLity and Emma slowly starting to grow into a RAW roster spot. Paige is the bad girl for the grown folks, Emma is the silly savant for those who might believe in guilty pleasures, but Bayley's a pure cut babyface who's growing and still not losing her love for the game. Honestly, there's a name for people who hate Bayley, or for what people like Colin Cassady bring to the table more and more every week, and that name is Al-Queda.

Sympathetic babyfaces, even when they come from unexpected places, are the lifeblood of wrestling. They take the beatings, and they come back against the odds. This isn't to say they lose their sense of humor, or joy of their works. This is merely to say in the funhouse mirror world of pro graps that they are the best of us writ large.

And when it's well done, it doesn't get more awesome than that.

Your Midweek Links: The Only Thing on Punk You Should Read

February 5, 2014, 10:30 am

≫ Next: The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 128: Bryce Remsburg

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Plus, National Pro Wrestling Day stuff! Photo Credit: Zia Hiltey

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week (as long as your power's not out):

Wrestling Links:

- The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 127: Brandon Stroud and Danielle Matheson [Thunder Frog Road]

- The Fireworks Factory: National Pro Wrestling Day '14 Review [The Wrestling Blog]

- Non-wrestling fan's guide to why CM Punk quit so abruptly [With Leather]

- RAW: Something's amiss [Wrestlegasm]

- My two cents on some things [Good Morning, Crono]

- A contrast [International Object]

Non-Wrestling Links

- An open letter from Dylan Farrow [NY Times]

- Here's how Hothlanta happened (again) [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- The most hated man in Jeopardy history: Arthur Chu [Warming Glow]

- Scientists may be close to a peanut allergy cure [Jezebel]

- Cookin' ATVS Style: Smoked Macaroni and Cheese with Bacon [And the Valley Shook]

- The Great Chili Super Bowl Roundtable of 2014: Everyone in the pot! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- How to make wings instead of letting the pizza dude do it for you [Foodspin]

- Super Bowl Recipes: Drunken Chocolate Strawberries [Bleeding Green Nation]

- Presidential Meat Ratings [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- This Week in F**k You: PFWA [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- The week in graphs, recruiting edition [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- Ten things you didn't know about Dr. Strangelove [Flavorwire]

- 15 facts you might not have known about Ace Ventura: Pet Detective [UPROXX]

- The top seven rulers of Russia who deserve a film [Pajiba]

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 128: Bryce Remsburg

February 5, 2014, 5:45 pm

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Bryce doin' his thang at NPWD Photo Credit: Zia Hiltey

Episode 128: Being for the Benefit of Mr. Azerbaijan

Bryce Remsburg, sketch comedy icon and senior official for Chikara Pro Wrestling, yes, CHIKARA, is back on the show this week to talk about the company's return. We recount the events of National Pro Wrestling Day, and I ask him about various strains in the story. He explains how he and others within the company took some big risks to tell this kind of story and admits that they expected to lose some fans along the way. However, he reassures everyone that Chikara is back full-time, and that this story is not over but entering its third act. I ask him about several different components of pre-shutdown Chikara and Bryce tells me how likely they are to come back. We finish the show up with some listener questions.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

Best Coast Bias: This Episode Brought To You By The Letter E

February 6, 2014, 4:30 am

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Everything he do -- especially in his home state -- he do it big Photo Credit: WWE.com

The biggest E of them all right now, of course, is the one who's Intercontinental Champion. The ex-Hawkeye returned not only to his home state in the Wiz Khalifa singlet but also came back to a familiar opponent in Curtis Axel. This was a homecoming for the rising star, and the choice of Axel as opponent was appropriate as such; as any college football fan knows, what you want for your homecoming game is a guaranteed W, and even dating back to last summer at Full Sail Axel's never been better than Big.

Here, not even the usual tropes could save Curtis Axel from the inevitable Ending; not only did he not have control coming back from the show's final break, but the new Champion kicked out of the former's father's signature coup de gras that in his well-meaning hands can only be truly dubbed the Imperfectplex. He tried to cheat, he tried to stall, and he even succeded at being temporarily crafty. All it did was delay an inevitable belly-to-Bayley (both the standing and overhead varietals), the 747 splash, and the infamous over-the-shoulder gutbuster.

Another E, sadly, is for Eh. When you look at a preview and see Zach Ryder v. Alberto del Rio, this is the knowledgeable person's reaction to have. It's one thing to know how a match is going to go; it's another thing entirely when your guess of how long the match would last comes so close that you'd be playing Plinko under the Price Is Right rules. It was actually a bit surprising that Ryder got in as much work as he did, even connecting with the BroBoot in his biggest moment. The crowd reacted well to him, which was another pleasant surprise. And as for Del Rio, he seems to be by circumstance absolutely trapped in no man's land, the ceiling for the majority but the floor for the minority that makes the biggest names, the king nothing of a scorched earth no matter how impressive his rope-hung double stomp is, how precisely he connects with the Codearmbreaker (™ Best Coast Bias) or how crisp his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker connects. Having nothing to offer him besides a douchebag powerbombing him again, we find out the other thing E stands for in WWEME this week...

...EMMATAINMENT. Oh, sure, Miz had a match with Fandango, but c'mon son. When Emma finally got to walk out from behind the curtain, it was a proud moment for us Emmacrats, especially with her bouncy NXT theme untouched and a spattering of bubbles welcoming her on her way to the ring to commentate. Hell, she and Santino still suck at greeting each other, and since this is all leading to what was the funniest match seen in this circle in 2013 -- where the crowd jumpers turned superstars went up against SummerFan down Full Sail way -- it was very, very welcome to see. It also helped that in addition to being funny with malapropisms Santino also noted some good points from both men's offense and what it was like to be in the ring with them. (You know what's not good? Miz's Emma Dance. It's like his figure four. Son, you may mean well, but....son. Go back to the rebound clothesline well, you're good at that.)

It'll be dimly remembered that Fandango barely got in any offense, or has been completely out of sorts since the lovely blonde from Down Under jumped to the big leagues. It might be remembered more so for everybody not named Tom Phillips Emma Dancing to celebrate a perfectly adequate victory from the self-proclaimed awesome one and it being a rare moment where NXT's levity was brought untouched to a (slightly?) bigger audience and not losing anything in the translation for it. If Main Event is to continue into year 3 and beyond for the mega diehards that favor it for its more straightforward presentations of the professional grappling, it could do worse than emmalating NXT and bringing it up wholesale when need be. Hell, that'd make it yet another E:

Excellent.

Creature Comforts Abroad

February 6, 2014, 7:30 am

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Photo Credit: Colt Cabana

The Sochi Olympiad has been decried, and rightfully so, for many reasons, not the least of which being the condition of accommodations for fans, the press, and most importantly, the athletes. I'm not talking about the easily mockable stuff like prissy old white men who complained about the Super Bowl not being in a warm climate. Visitors to the Black Sea "resort" town have been deprived basic human rights like Internet access, privacy, and shelter.

Not to be outdone, the wrestling company booking Colt Cabana in India put him up in a hotel that was at least finished and had a private bathroom. However, as referenced by the picture above, their indoor plumbing situation may only be baby steps above what is available in Sochi. Of course, pointing out these deficiencies should never be meant to poke fun at economically depressed and, at least in Russia's case, brutally led countries. However, these images should serve both as a reminder not to take things like indoor plumbing for granted and to wake up and support policies that don't promote the rank subjugation of these countries because their living conditions make it so easy for American corporations to go over and pay pennies a day for labor that should cost at least $15 per hour. Oh wait, did I slip into pinko leftist mode again?

Anyway, in the meantime, I hope Cabana at least has sturdy, stable plumbing for his toilet, because while a wet floor, though dangerous if not careful, can be dealt with, having to throw dirty toilet paper in a standing waste bin is just gross no matter who you are.

An Alpha Job: WSU Mutiny Preview

February 6, 2014, 10:30 am

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Jessicka Havok won't have this easy a time tossing around Alpha Female Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

When Denver Colorado (the man, not the place!) purchased Women's Superstars Uncensored in 2012, the company was mired with an image crisis. The former owner had an unsavory reputation and a big mouth, and the perception of the company was, in a word, sleazy. The shame of it all was that the promotion always had some great wrestlers on its roster, like the ubiquitous Mercedes Martinez and the take-no-prisoners Jessicka Havok. What that roster needed, however, was a change in direction. Eighteen months after said purchase, saying that WSU has done a 180 in terms of image is safe at the very least. Mutiny, their sixth show since the purchase by the Beyond Wrestling promoter, looks to be their most star-studded and ambitious card to date.

The most noteworthy person booked on the show and the most indicative of the bold new direction of the company has to be Alpha Female. The German monster has made waves in seemingly every country in the world except the United States, making headlines in her epic feud with Jenny Sjodin in England and building upon that initial splash through several tours of respected joshi promotions in Japan. Her name was near the top of every wishlist for wrestlers coming to America, and WSU may be the only company able to book her.

Alpha has been appearing on the TNA Impact European tour and has garnered interest to be part of a revamped Knockouts Division. While TNA has allowed its wrestlers to appear on independent cards around the country and world, its policy on whether those appearances can be distributed on any kind of video are restrictive. Effectively, the company will have frozen out SHIMMER and SHINE from getting Alpha on their cards in the future if and/or when they offer her something to sign. Basically, the first and last chance for folks to see her in an indie ring before she heads off to TNA might just be Saturday.

If Alpha could only wrestle one match in WSU, then she had to face the one in the American indies most like her, right? Saturday, she'll get the chance to square off against Havok, who may or may not be WSU Champion by the time the match rolls around. Both wrestlers are tall, strong, and imposing, and they have the potential to shake the Flyers Skate Zone to its foundations. Describing their impending tilt as a clash of the titans seems like an understatement, and with this match possibly being Alpha's last stop before TNA, I think both wrestlers will want to put a little extra juice behind each strike.

The only person keeping Havok from entering the exhibition as Champion would be Shanna, who was originally scheduled to face off against Havok at the show. However, because the chance to have Alpha appear was so fleeting, her Championship opportunity was bumped to the secret show that will be held Friday (if you want to be a part of that, e-mail Colorado at beyondwrestling@gmail.com). Her consolation prize is teaming with Chris Dickinson against the team taking Pro Wrestling Guerrilla and YouTube by storm, Candice LaRae and Joey Ryan. The two teams will vie for a spot in the annual Queen and King of the Ring Tournament, which last year was won by Athena and AR Fox.

Athena was to use the tournament as a springboard to get one final showdown with Havok for the WSU Championship at Uncensored Rumble last year, but an unfortunate injury suffered the night before at the company's first secret show sidelined her for the rest of 2013. Another wrestler who was promised a title shot before injuries derailed her was LuFisto, who was to get a shot at the Queen and King show title shot before she got hurt at the SHIMMER WrestleCon show. Despite prolonged absences, their claims to the title have not been forgotten, and they will wrestle to decide the next contender to Havok (or Shanna).

Two old grudges will also come to heads with gold on the line. Ezavel Suena will take her long-simmering beef with Spirit Champion Marti Belle to lucha de apuesta levels. The two have been trading barbs and cheap shots with each other for nearly two years, and in what should be the final battle, each will wager something dear to them. Belle will put the title up for grabs, while Suena will wager her mask. Another match that has been brewing since 2012 has been for the Tag Team Championships. Allysin Kay and Sassy Stephie have held the titles without much of a challenge for over two years, but Annie Social and Kimber Lee gave the two all they could handle in a non-title match at Full Steam Ahead until a leg injury derailed Lee. Finally, the two teams will clash for the belts at long last.

Also on the show, Mickie Knuckles will return to battle Jewells Malone in an uncensored rules match. Knuckles engaged in total war with Saraya Knight at Blood and Thunder and emerged victorious, while Malone has both made her mark in WSU as well as Beyond Wrestling, where she was one of the breakout stars of Tournament for Tomorrow II weekend. Rounding out the televised-on-Internet pay-per-view card will be an advertised grudge match between international superstar Jenny Rose and indie tour de force Veda Scott.

The live crowd will get to see a NWA Women's Championship defense from Barbi Hayden against Santana Garrett. Like Alpha, Garrett is bound for TNA, but the ink on her contract is already dry, so she can't appear for the people who aren't able to make it live. Hayden won the title a couple of weeks ago in Houston, and televised or not, her first defense will be stiff. Hania the Howling Huntress, Neveah, and Christina von Eerie have all been announced for appearance as well, although their matches have not been set yet.

While the old WSU had its fans and will continue to face scrutiny from people who enjoyed it under the prior owner, I don't think their improvement in perception is an arguable point right now. The old WSU wouldn't have even tried to bring over Alpha Female or been able get this many talented wrestlers from all corners of the globe under one roof. The production values are better, the veneer is cleaner, and the associations are at least higher-profile. Say what you want about Combat Zone Wrestling, but that company is in the midst of cleaning up its image too. Wrestling is at its best when the people producing it take the art seriously, and Mutiny is the best example yet of WSU's culture change making it one of the most valued players on the scene today.

Mutiny will take place Saturday at the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ. The show starts at 3:30 PM, Eastern Standard Time, and it will be available live on iPPV. If you are so inclined, stick around for CZW's event afterwards.

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Throwback Thursday: Booker T and Goldust at the Movies

February 6, 2014, 1:15 pm

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≪ Previous: An Alpha Job: WSU Mutiny Preview

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Goldust has been enjoying a career renaissance in WWE lately, but it has mostly come on the back of his excellent in-ring work. He's been just as strong in character segments and skits in the past, and his most fondly-remembered comedic run came as tag team partner to Booker T in the early Aughts. About a month after WrestleMania X-8, the two got together and reviewed The Rock's first starring role, The Scorpion King and the results were amusing to say the least. Also, look at how young Jerry Lawler both looked and sounded. That man aged a lot in the last 12 years.

This week's subject, Goldust, comes to us courtesy of @hoobsher!

Any Shows This Weekend? The First Jam-Packed Weekend of '14

February 7, 2014, 7:10 am

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Can Gulak fend off AJ Styles? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

The year is only one month and change old, and already in wrestling, AJ Styles returned to Ring of Honor and nearly killed Roderick Strong, and Chikara was reborn. This weekend continues the epic groundswell of pro wrestling as a huge number of awesome shows are jam-freaking-packed into the three-day frame set aside for the working American to enjoy the fruits of his or her labor. This weekend is the first of the year that has just a sheer number of notable shows, but if you want to see wrestling and you don't see a show listed below in your area, go to Pro Wrestling Events and take a gander. Below, however, are the best of the best for this weekend.

FRIDAY

Absolute Intense Wrestling is all TGIF tonight at Turners Hall in Cleveland, OH. The show starts at 7:30 PM local time, and the main event pits the Absolute Champion Michael Elgin against AIW legend Drake Younger. Louis Lyndon will defend his Intense Championship against another AIW legend in Johnny Gargano. In the third title match, the Tag Champs the Jollyville Fuck-Its will meet the Brothers Cutter, aka the Hooligans, in action. Rounding out the Championship action, Allysin Kay will defend the Women's Championship against Veda Scott in a rematch from Girls' Night Out 10. In other action, Tim Donst welcomes a hardcore challenge in Danny Havoc, Kyle O'Reilly takes on Bobby Beverly, Kevin Steen takes on Ethan Page, and Nixon explodes with Eric Ryan taking on Rickey Shane Page with Duke Schork as the guest ref. Rounding out the show is a six-pack challenge, as the debuting Tyson Dux, Davey Vega, Flip Kendrick, Matt Cross' Beard, Ty Colton, and Colin Delaney will enter the fray.

Deep Southern Championship Wrestling will run a jam-packed show from the DSCW Arena in Blue Ridge, GA. The doors open at 7 PM, and while no matches have been announced, the superstar roster is loaded. AJ Styles, Kyle Matthews, Shaun Tempers, Cyrus the Destroyer, dany only, and Corey Hollis are among the wrestlers scheduled to appear.

Lowell, MA plays host to Chaotic Wrestling. The doors at the Woburn Elks Lodge open at 7:15 PM local time. Champion Mark Shurman will defend his title in an open challenge. Also appearing on the show will be Slyck Wagner Brown and Lexxus.

HoodSlam will present the Smokelahoma Bowl: The Bridge to Entertania at the Oakland Metro Operahouse at 8:30 PM local time. All your favorite HoodSlam stars will be there, and the "Mayor of HoodSlam" will be decided.

Rockstar Pro Wrestling will be celebrating its second anniversary with a huge show at the Rockstar Pro Arena in Dayton, OH. The doors will open at 7 PM. Ron Mathis will battle Rhyno in the main event, while Alex Colon and the Brothers Crist will also be in action.

Women's Superstars Uncensored will also be having a secret show tonight, featuring Jessicka Havok defending her WSU Championship against Portugal's Perfect Athlete, Shanna. Contact beyondwrestling@gmail.com for information on how to attend.

SATURDAY

WSU's main event is on Saturday with Mutiny as part of a doubleheader at the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ. Check out the preview from yesterday for more information.

The second half of that doubleheader at the Skate Zone features Combat Zone Wrestling's 15th Anniversary Show. Head out to Voorhees, NJ for a 7:30 PM start time, or check them out on CZW Internet pay-per-view. The main event will see Drew Gulak face one of his stiffest challenges for his CZW World Championship yet, the Phenomenal One himself, AJ Styles. Devon Moore will be defending his Wired Television Championship against CZW's Peoples' Champion himself, "The Bulldozer" Matt Tremont. Joey Ryan and Candice LeRae have come east looking for a challenge, and each one will get their own specific singles contest. Ryan draws CZW's court jester, Greg Excellent, while LeRae tangles with an old foe in Christina von Eerie. AR Fox, Drake Younger, Chris Dickinson, and maybe Biff Busick will compete in four-way singles action, while the Beaver Boys, the Brothers Crist, and Tommy Dreamer will also be on the card.

IWA Mid-South may be calling their show this weekend "Heartbreak" but the card will be anything but a letdown. Doors will open at the Colgate Gym in Clarksville, IN at 6:30 PM. Reed Bentley will face his toughest challenge yet in Chris Hero, while Gary Jay takes on B-Boy. Also appearing on the show will be the rest of the Submission Squad, Necro Butcher, Trik Davis, and Heidi Lovelace.

Ring of Honor makes its return to Texas with a State of the Art show at the Shrine Auditorium in San Antonio. Bell time will be 7:30 PM local. In the main event, ROH World Champion Adam Cole will go up against Jay Briscoe, and a title will be at stake here. However, Cole's ROH World Title is safe; the belt on the line is Briscoe's "Real World Championship." Also on the show, ACH and Tadarius Thomas will get a Proving Ground match against the Tag Team Champions, Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly. Tommaso Ciampa, Jay Lethal, Michael Elgin, and Kevin Steen will partake in a four-corners survival match, while Jimmy Jacobs tackles Cedric Alexander. BJ Whitmer battles Raymond Rowe, and RD Evans and Caprice Coleman are also advertised for the show.

CWF Mid-Atlantic will put their Super J Division on display at 7:30 PM local time at the Mid-Atlantic Sportatorium in Gibsonville, NC. The main event will be for Andrew Everett's Super J Championship, as he defends in a no-time limit, best two of three falls match against Trevor Lee. Also appearing on the show will be Adam Page and Arik Royal.

Anarchy Wrestling comes back to their namesake arena in Cornelia, GA with another round of television tapings at 8 PM. Mikael Judas defends his Anarchy Championship against Mike Posey, while Geter and Se7en will collide for the right to be the next number one contender. Shaun Tempers, Corey Hollis, and the Washington Bullets are also scheduled to appear.

Up the road in Rossville, GA, at 8:05 PM, Empire Pro Wrestling will play host to a night of exciting action. The main event will pit Logan Alvey against the Strong Style Psycho, Tank. Also scheduled to appear are Kyle Matthews and Johnny Viper.

The West Coast Wrestling Connection invades the Houck Middle School in Salem, OR, for a night of big-time action at 6 PM local time. The main event will see Gangrel challenging for Darin Corbin's Pacific Northwest Championship. Also on the show is Matt Striker.

SUNDAY

Battle War 16 will hit up Les Foufounes Electriques in Montreal, QC for a door-open time of 7 PM local. In the main event, Speedball Mike Bailey looks to wrest the Battle War Championship from Dirty Buxx Belmar. Also on the show will be Giant Tiger, Player Uno, Scott "Jagged" Parker, and Le Tabarnak de Team.

If you want to ensure that more weekends like this will happen on the calendar, then you should strongly consider going to a show this weekend. Even if the wrestling in your area is unfamiliar to you, take a stab, take a chance. You never know, your favorite wrestler or promotion may be out there and you just don't know it yet.

This Week in Sid History: Sid Betrays Hogan...Again

February 7, 2014, 10:30 am

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For this edition of This Week in Sid History, we continue with the 1992 year. In the last edition, we covered the 1992 Royal Rumble, the same one that saw Sid eliminate Hulk Hogan. This led to Hogan helping Ric Flair eliminate Sid, crowing Flair as the new World Wrestling Federation Champion.

After the match, Sid and Hogan got into it with each other, arguing about losing a shot at the title.

Cooler heads prevailed, or so it seemed. This week, we cover the Saturday Night’s Main Event (SNME) tag match as Sid and Hogan face off against Flair and the Undertaker.

The air date for the show was Feb. 8, 1992. The show in fact was taped about a week earlier at the Municipal Coliseum in Lubbock, Texas.

SNME used to be on NBC, but moved to FOX by that point. It was the second to last SNME show as the show would be off the air for 14 years.

On commentary were Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan. The show on this night had four matches, which included an Intercontinental Title rematch between the Mountie and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, as well as the blow off between “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

Joining Hogan and Sid at ringside would be Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. McMahon notes on the broadcast that it’s Beefcake’s first big ringside appearance since his parasailing accident. (I have no comment about Beefcake’s attire. However, I bet it took a lot of work.)

Presumably, Beefcake was there to make sure Flair and Taker’s corner men, Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer, didn’t interfere.

Sid and Hogan have a “discussion” as to who should start the match. Sid guided Hogan to the corner and opened the ropes to make it easier for Hogan to get onto the apron. A great tag team partner, AMIRITE?

Sid and Flair, both wearing red trunks, started the match. The two locked up, before Flair raked his eye. Sid reversed an Irish whip into the corner and back body dropped Flair, followed by a hip toss to get Flair off his game. Flair rolled out of the ring to re-group, as Mr. Perfect, his adviser, helped out.

Sid makes the first tag of the match to Hogan and it was soon Hogan versus Flair. Hogan attacked Flair, copying what Sid did with the back body drop, followed by a hip toss. The Undertaker rushed in to help Flair, only to be hip tossed, livening up the Lubbock crowd.

Sid and Hogan worked together as Sid lent his knee to Hogan, who used it to bash the Undertaker’s head against.

It was soon Sid against the Undertaker. The two punched each other briefly, before the Undertaker tried to lift him for the scoop slam. The Undertaker failed though, as Sid lifted him and did his own slam.

Sid and Hogan continued to double-team as Hogan once again was tagged in. Soon Hogan found himself fighting off a two-on-one attack, which he was successful at and in the process got the fans excited.

Sid was back in; looking to maintain momentum against the Undertaker, but it came to a halt thanks to a throat thrust by Taker.

Flair and the Undertaker double-teamed Sid and after a couple of near falls, all four men are in the ring. Sid and Hogan knock both Flair and the Undertaker out of the ring and right as the match goes to a commercial break, Hogan does his taunt, much to Sid’s dismay.

After the break, the Undertaker snuck in the ring and caught Sid by surprise. They cornered Sid and Flair was tagged in, chopping away. The referee admonished Flair for a close-handed fist punch or something and the Undertaker proceeded to choke the life out of Sid. Hogan got in to argue, but it only distracted the ref even further. Moral of the story: DON’T DISTRACT THE REFEREE!

Flair and the Undertaker continued to work over Sid, but alas, some hope in the match. Sid grabbed both men by the hair and butted their heads together. Sid inched slowly toward Hogan, grabbing Flair by the hair. He tagged in Hogan, who went wild on everyone, including Bearer, but not Perfect.

Perfect latched onto Hogan’s leg as Flair started attacking the leg/ankle/some kind of area. Flair worked quickly and immediately got Hogan into the Figure Four Leg Lock.

Hogan reached out to Sid for a tag, who turned his back. Hogan was able to reverse the Figure Four and soon was free. The Hulkster crawled toward Sid, looking to make the tag.

Our hero stood and stared at Hogan as the crowd in Lubbock booed away. The Undertaker and Flair continued to work over Hogan. Sid smiled at least once as Hogan kept getting beaten up. Flair and the Undertaker continued, until a double-team clothesline went horribly awry.

Hogan crawled back once more; reaching out for a tag, but Sid dropped off the apron and walked away. Beefcake argued with Sid, but it was to no avail.

As Sid walked away, Flair and the Undertaker continued to double-team. Flair threw the referee to the mat, which led to a disqualification. This meant Sid and Hogan won. However, some probably argued at the time it wasn’t much of a victory.

With nobody around to help, Beefcake hopped in the ring to help out Hogan. He was cornered, until Hogan got up and the two cleaned house.

Afterward, Hogan and Beefcake had a calm discussion about the events. Beefcake informed Hogan of what Sid said, whatever it was that McMahon said he was saying…I think it was about Hogan helping himself or something.

Interestingly enough, the producers cut to the audience as a kid with a goofy sweatshirt and quite the haircut, ripped apart a “Justice Will Be Served” signed. I’d like to think the kid put a little work into the poster, using different markers.

The match itself received 2 ¼ stars from Dave Meltzer at the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. Interestingly enough, the Newsletter led two consecutive issues with the Sid turn. Okay, it was more about the main event changes.

Originally, as the Observer reported, the main event for Wrestlemania VIII would be Hogan vs. Flair for the WWF Championship. It all changed thanks to the Feb. 8 SNME.

Wrestlemania VIII featured Sid vs. Hogan, while Flair defended his title against Savage. The Road to Wrestlemania was set.

Postscript

In the Observer newsletters around that time, Meltzer noted that Sid made an appearance on the Barbershop, hosted by Beefcake.

In the segment, Beefcake confronted Sid, regarding past issues with Hogan, including the Royal Rumble. Beefcake also mentioned the press conference announcing the Flair/Hogan title match and brought up the previous night’s tag match. (NOTE:The WWF did all of their TV tapings for the month in Lubbock and Amarillo over the course of a couple of days.)

Sid told Beefcake to shut up and said he didn’t care.

“I’m going to do you a favor...I’m going to re-arrange your face,” Sid told Beefcake.

Sid grabbed a chair and broke the Barber Shop window, making that the second time in the last couple of months that the poor window was broken.

As Beefcake ran away, Sid proceeded to destroy the Barber Shop set. The rest of the video spoke for itself.

Meltzer noted during the time that Dr. Harvey Whippleman would be Sid’s new manager. According to Meltzer, the doctor concept was Sid’s idea and it involved a stethoscope and a stretcher. It was something he pitched to WCW.

Huh...Really makes you think..

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 64

February 8, 2014, 8:15 pm

≫ Next: Mickie Knuckles Is a F'n Machine: WSU Secret Show #3 Review

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The best heel, or a post-modern wrestler? Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Anyway, time to go!

First up, @__NickX wants to know if John Cena is the best heel in WWE history.

John Cena has been described as a heel to those who already want to boo him. If crowd noise is the metric, then Cena's only halfway effective since he gets equal amounts of cheers. But do crowd reactions make alignment, or do actions define whether one is a heel or face? Cena ostensibly is a good guy with the amount of good deeds he does, but he's two-faced, vengeful, and likes to invade people's privacy. Maybe Cena is the mythical "tweener" that every shitty e-fed character tries to frame him/herself as because they have no creativity or conviction?

Rather than looking at Cena through the lens of good or bad, I think he may very well be the first post-modern character in WWE history. He may not have started out as an innovation in alignment, but when he started getting the mixed reactions, WWE certainly didn't shy away from cultivating them. The referendum on Cena is ongoing, and I don't think anything will ever change it. The kids will still root for him because he seems to be the closest thing they have to a consensus hero, and the loudmouth older fans will continue to boo him because that's what loudmouth older fans do, right? Alignment is irrelevant, but I also think that Cena being the only fan for which that dichotomy seems to exist is a bit telling. For as much as observers like me want to toss away old vestiges like titles and alignment for a more story-based narrative with all kinds of colors on the palette, crowds still react like they did in 1972.

@OkoriWadsworth asks what match I didn't think would be all that great going in that I loved.

Even though the build going into the match was epic, I didn't think the John Cena/Batista match from WrestleMania XXVI was going to amount to a whole lot in the ring. Despite a few early flubs, the match turned out to be my favorite on the card (yes, I liked it more than Undertaker/Shawn Michaels II, DEAL WITH IT). The match was certainly helped out by the story surrounding it, but both Cena and Batista rose to the occasion.

DC Kommentariat Bro @FosterVsWorld asks if pro wrestling were an Olympic event, what countries would medal.

Before asking which countries would medal, one would have to ask which countries would compete. The United States, Canada, Mexico, Japan, and United Kingdom are all no-brainers. Samoa and Ireland would probably have strong teams as well. Australia would have to be a consideration as well, although their female delegation would be far stronger than their male one at this point. Germany would be a dark horse to consider, as would India, New Zealand, and Chile. And of course, Nigeria would send Great Power Uti and a few scrubs from the streets of Lagos.

Now, medal structure would be tricky, because you could basically have an entire swath of medal categories, like in gymnastics, tennis, or boxing. So, let's compartmentalize!

Men's Heavyweight Singles
GOLD: Great Power Uti (NGA)
SILVER: John Cena (USA)
BRONZE: Kevin Steen (CAN)

No one's beating Uti. No one.

Women's Heavyweight Singles
GOLD: Alpha Female (GER)
SILVER: Kana (JPN)
BRONZE: Cheerleader Melissa (USA)

I would've given the nod to Kana, but I saw Alpha Female up close and personal Friday night, and she threw Jenny Rose through drywall, literally. I can't argue with that kind of power. I'd also imagine Jessicka Havok would get disqualified at some point, because she's hella punk rock.

Men's Cruiserweight Singles
GOLD: Daniel Bryan (USA)
SILVER: Hiroshi Tanahashi (JPN)
BRONZE: Prince Devitt (IRL)

Triple H and WWE might not know what they have with Bryan, but the international community would put him over in a heartbeat.

Women's Cruiserweight Singles
GOLD: Evie (NZL)
SILVER: Athena (USA)
BRONZE: Hikaru Shida (JPN)

I was tempted to have AJ Lee medal here, but the women's cruisers are pretty deep.

Men's Tag Team
GOLD: The Young Bucks (USA)
SILVER: The Usos (SAM)
BRONZE: Mark Andrews and Pete Dunne (ENG)

So, would the Bucks rep their home country in the US, or would they rep the Bullet Club at the medal ceremony? OR WOULD THEY JUST SUPERKICK EVERYONE AND PROCLAIM THEIR OWN SOVEREIGN NATION?

Women's Tag Team
GOLD: The Canadian Ninjas (CAN)
SILVER: The Midwest Militia (USA)
BRONZE: Kellie Skater and Madison Eagles (AUS)

Since Skater and Tomoka Nakagawa rep different countries, the Global Green Gangsters are ineligible for the women's tag competition, opening things up for those crafty Canadian Ninjas to bring home gold to the Frozen North.

Team Competition
GOLD: Japan
SILVER: United States
BRONZE: Canada

Maybe I shut out Mexico here because of my complete and utter lack of lucha libre knowledge, but then again, sometimes, the favorites flop in international competition. Weird things happen at the Olympics. Weird things.

Dirty Dirty Sheets site photographer Gregory Davis asks how it feels to have stroke enough to get more Chikara tickets released.

For those who don't know, Chikara sold out of its comeback show tickets yesterday, which was before I had the chance to buy mine. Then, to assuage demand, Chikara opened up the floor like it did at King of Trios '12 and put more tickets out there. I'd like to think it was because the company couldn't have a show without its number one superfan there, but in all honesty, I am just happy that so many people want to share in Chikara. It really is the best promotion out there in my view, and in a perfect world, everyone who likes wrestling would at least give it a chance and have an opinion on it. Even I can't wish for unanimous praise and fandom, because unanimity is boring.

The incomparable past-show live tweeter @wrestlefeed asks if I CAN DIG IT, SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

*does a spinarooni*

Fledgling ring announcer and With Leather blog lord Brandon Stroud wants to know my thoughts on the upcoming Inspire Pro Wrestling card.

I'm still behind on getting around to the Inspire Pro YouTube catalog, and I praise them highly for getting the distribution out in some way. Whether for free or on DVD/video on demand/mp4 for sale, any wrestling company who wants to grow should cast as wide a net as possible. But because I haven't gotten the chance to watch full shows, I'm only familiar with parts of the roster. I know ACH, Matthew Palmer, Robert Evans, Scot Summers, and Jojo Bravo can bring the goods, but what about folks like Paige Turner, Mike Dell, the Great Depression, and Sammy Guevara?

Then again, the names who are on the show are some of the best Texas has to offer. ACH can have a good match with anyone if given the proper opportunity (note, Ring of Honor doesn't constitute giving the man a proper opportunity). This Guevara kid has also gotten rave marks, so I think that match is a guaranteed must-watch. Palmer/Bravo is going to bring the goods. Turner will be fun to watch if just because her gimmick is unique and over.

Honestly though, Inspire Pro has built a great critical base with its first four shows. They have all the elements that make Austin wrestling great with a positive attitude and without some of the lingering seediness. I would highly suggest that anyone in Central Texas wanting to go see a great wrestling show head out to the Marchesa Theater next Sunday.

TJR Wrestling writer William Math asks which Chikara t-shirt and why?

All three minimalist-design tees actually look pretty swell. However, I think my favorite is the one you get for free if you buy all three:

Mike Ditka evangelist @IHatebd asks if Zeb Colter's unchanging shtick and growing fan support is problematic.

The biggest mistake that was made, whether the call came from WWE Creative or Zeb Colter himself, was starting the singalong chant of "WE THE PEOPLE" with the crowd. Some people within any WWE crowd will chant with anything, especially if they can sing along with something ironically. But can every fan's ear detect that irony? I don't think they can. So, maybe someone within the company ought to stop Colter from making the fans chant something extremely xenophobic.

Philly sports staple @jackcantcook asks which King had the best reign: Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Haku, or Randy Savage?

This choice is a quandary indeed. I think I can safely rule out Duggan, because he's the least cool out of the three. Haku is a legitimate badass, but he lost the crown to Duggan. So that leaves the Macho King as the last King standing. Besides, he gave the world this promo while under the crown:

@Kenzaki24 wants to know if a wrestler dressed as the Pokemon Hawlucha would work in either Japan or Mexico.

The promotion matters more than the country. I think a Hawlucha-themed wrestler would work in most Mexican companies, but in the wrong company in another country, the character might fall flat. I don't know enough about New Japan, All Japan, or NOAH to gauge whether that wrestler would work, but I do know other companies like Dragon Gate and DDT would be great places for that kind of wrestler to flourish. The character would also get over huge in Chikara and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, but would probably fall flat in, say, Ring of Honor.

Diabolic dinosaur @KevinNewburn watched National Pro Wrestling Day and wants in on Chikara. Where should he start?

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You don't necessarily need to delve back into the past archives. Starting fresh with the rebirth is a totally viable option. When I became a Chikara fan in 2009, the earliest footage of theirs that I watched from before my first show (King of Trios '09) was from January of that same year. Sometimes, going in fresh is the best course of action. Of course, if you want a bit of information without watching a ton of video, the folks over at the website wrote something helpful.

Now, if you actually want to immerse yourself in the promotion's history, especially its recent history (which is among the best content of any wrestling promotion ever), then you have three-plus months to cram everything in. To get a good idea of what the roster and match style are all about, then I would go with the following shopping list of shows:

• Hiding in Plain Sight (Nashua, NH, Sept. 2009)
• Three-Fisted Tales (Philadelphia, PA, Dec. 2009)
• Faded Scars and Lines (Cleveland, OH, June 2010)
• The Dark Ciberknetico (Easton, PA, Nov. 2010)
• King of Trios 2011 (the entire weekend) (Philadelphia, PA, Apr. 2011)
• Chikarasaurus Rex: Night 2 (Philadelphia, PA, Aug. 2011)
• Klunk in Love (Kingsport, TN, Oct. 2011)
• High Noon (Philadelphia, PA, Nov. 2011)
• Chikarasaurus Rex: How to Hatch a Dinosaur (Philadelphia, PA, June 2012)
• King of Trios 2012: Night 3 (Easton, PA, Sept. 2012)
• Tag World Grand Prix (both segments) (Chicago, IL, May 2013)
• Aniversario: Never Compromise (Philadelphia, PA, June 2013)

That list might seem daunting, but again, you have more than three months. If you don't wanna buy all those shows, delve into the Podcast A-Go-Go on the Chikara Office YouTube page. But I'm telling you, if you just wanna go in cold, you won't be disappointed either.

@HeyDarsie wants to know the point of the WCW/nWo World Heavyweight Championship when Hulk Hogan defended it once every three months at best.

I can see the common logic behind having the Champion defend the title on a regular basis, but I think Hogan's absenteeism worked to the accidental betterment of the story. The nWo won control of WCW, and their Champion was a delusional Hollywood wannabe. With those two elements coming together, wouldn't Hogan wanting to be there as sparsely as possible and being allowed to do so make sense? The execution of it was bungled more often than not, but I think the idea behind it was solid.

Official Royal Rumble statistician Scott T. Holland asks if Elimination Chamber is in the right spot of the WWE pay-per-view calendar.

When WWE had two big titles, Elimination Chamber happening in February made all the sense in the world. The Rumble winner would choose one titleholder, while the Chamber could decide the other challenger like it did last year. Now that only one title ostensibly exists (and will exist for the time being), the Chamber needs to be spaced out a bit better. However, where on the calendar should it be placed? The summer is out unless WWE moves Money in the Bank to December either as its own entity or as a merge with TLC. I could see it as a replacement for Survivor Series or TLC in the late months to give the pre-Rumble season its own flair, but I'd much rather Survivor Series return to the team warfare format, to be quite honest.

I think each quarter in WWE should have a "Big 4" pay-per-view and a "prize gimmick" event in them (as well as a "regular" event). The first/fourth quarter (depending on whether you go by calendar or fiscal year) is the exception since the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania are both considered "Big 4" historically. But the Royal Rumble/No Way Out/WrestleMania troika is fine for the first three months of the year. The second quarter would have no "Big" pay-per-view, but that slot could always be filled by the Chamber. Backlash/Elimination Chamber/Extreme Rules would make for a good April-May-June sequence. Then, you get Money in the Bank/SummerSlam/Night of Champions for the third quarter, and the year finishes with Battleground/Survivor Series/TLC. Hell in a Cell either gets bumped or it replaces Battleground. Personally, I'd bump it, because the gimmick is for better or worse the WWE's signature, non-Royal Rumble speciality match, and it should be reserved for blood feuds.

Puerto Rico's own @IRodC asks why WWE needs to put obnoxious catchphrases on the backs of its shirts.

Because WWE is always gonna be WWE? That company has never been at the forefront of fashion or tact.

Benevolent cybernetic wrestling algorithm @robot_hammer notes that Mike Quackenbush, Eddie Kingston, and Jigsaw were absent during the big brawl near the end of NPWD. Where do they fit in the greater story?

Quack was there. I saw his cane give 17 the hook with my own eyes, and since everyone on the Chikara side seemed to pair off with the nemeses they've been so closely linked with in the past (like, the Batiri concentrating on Sinn Bodhi), Occam's Razor suggests that Quack was the one taking out his Gekido doppelganger. Kingston's role will likely continue to be the Chikara denier on the surface with a deep love for at least his hardware beneath. Does he ride or die for the company, or is he just a meaner, tougher version of Gollum, with the Grand Championship as his One Ring?

Jigsaw is the tricky one of that trio. He was last seen as a sympathizer with the Gekido and teammate with The Shard. They won Los Campeonatos de Parejas in the final show before the hiatus. But of anyone who has been with Chikara, Jigsaw has the closest bond to Quack and has the most reason to want his home to be restored. I wonder if he'll emerge as a "Sting in 1997" type figure in the whole war between Chikara and the interlopers.

Kayfabermetrics head bee guy @MatthewTimmons asks what will be the first classic PPV I will watch when WWE Network launches.

The first one I want to mass live-tweet with the TWB public is WrestleMania 2, but I'm not sure if that one's going to be the first one I watch. I may do a test run just to see the providence of the stream and the video on demand service. So I actually might just watch one of the old pre-WCW Crockett pay-per-views, like Starrcade 83. Can I say how happy I am that the old Crockett PPVs are included? I missed out on a lot, and the Network may be the impetus for me to catch up.

@BobbyGod wants to know whom I think should wrestle the first match back for Chikara.

I like synergy and symmetry, so I would LOVE for the opening match at You Only Live Twice to be Dragonfly vs. Mister ZERO, the first match at their debut show all the way back in 2002. Realistically though? My guess is the show will be a battleground between the two sides in the new war for Chikara's soul. With that in mind, I would love to see a hot opener between the Baltic Siege and Dr. Cube's Laboratory. However, I hope Cube would leave Tucor at home, thanks.

@rancho_king33 asks if I've ever seen the backstage footage shot by Jimmy Garvin after the Great American Bash '88.

I have not, but I will post it here!

@RasslinCrig wants to know if Daniel Bryan/Triple H is a viable WrestleMania match at this point.

In theory, it's a valid match. Of course, in theory, I can convert myself into energy and live forever. Triple H came back so hot in the summertime, but gradually, everything he touched started turning to shit. He can't even stick to being an evil heel shithead mastermind boss without softening the edges, seeming to pander for cheers. How the fuck can I expect him to put Daniel Bryan over at Mania, which would be the only valid finish for that match if it ever happened? I would rather see Bryan slog around with Kane or even go up against Sheamus again than have to drag Trips' bloated carcass around the ring just to lay down for him.

@RealRobPandola asks where Chikara goes from here.

I could play fantasy booker, but really, the beauty of this new era of the company is that while the endgame is apparent, the journey to get there is not. I don't mean to brush the question off, but Chikara put a lot of goodwill in my bank account with National Pro Wrestling Day. I'm submitting my will to them, and I will judge what they give me on a piece by piece basis.

Noted Yinzer expat @PatrickEhland asks the fates of the following countries in Olympic hockey: USA, Canada, Russia, Sweden.

Bold prediction: more than one of those teams will finish out of the medals. Remember, the Olympics are WEIRD. Things happen like the Czechs winning gold in '98 or the Canadians finishing 7th in 2006 or even the flippin' Miracle on Ice. Sweden wins the gold, the Russians get silver with some home cookin', and Finland wins the bronze over Canada. The US will flame out.

Twitter question-merchant and writer for Bucky's Fifth Quarter@thegnc asks if the American Wolves had an American Males-type theme song if they'd be the best tag team ever.

I think you might be onto something. I remember Battle of Los Angeles '12 when Davey Richards joined "Team Sleaze" with Kyle O'Reilly and Joey Ryan, and he was more entertaining in that one match than his entire ROH career that I've followed. I think he and Eddie "Eddie Edwards" Edwards could use a bit of so-bad-it's-good silliness. THEY'RE AMERICAN WOLVES. AMERICAN WOLVES. AMERICAN WOLVES.

Finally, Sports on Earth and Over the Monster scribe Marc Normandin asks how many of Big E Langston's shirts I'm going to purchase.

To be quite honest, I'm not digging that shirt. The design front looks a bit garish for my tastes. The "E" is so big that it reminds me of early '90s shirts with the BIG print and the picture designs that were so in-your-face that they got ugly quick. I might buy one if the back design was on the front though. I'm glad WWE has made a shirt for Langston, but it's not one I'd get.

Mickie Knuckles Is a F'n Machine: WSU Secret Show #3 Review

February 10, 2014, 6:20 am

≫ Next: From the Archives: Chikara's Atomico from National Pro Wrestling Day '13

≪ Previous: Twitter Request Line, Vol. 64

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Collateral damage in the shape of one Jenny Rose Photo Credit: TH

In the TH Style. Look for it to drop soon on the Stream WSU site.

Highlights:

• Shynron caught JT Dunn offguard with a spike rana to get the victory in the Beyond Wrestling Showcase opener.
• Mickie Knuckles escaped a pin attempt by biting Kimber Lee's thigh and finished her with a pumphandle bomb for the win.
• America's Sweethearts - Santana Garrett and Amber O'Neal - defeated Christina von Eerie and Neveah by pinfall after Garrett hit von Eerie with a handspring into a standing moonsault.
• Alpha Female obliterated Barracuda Britney with a torture rack driver.
• In her second consecutive match, Alpha defeated Jenny Rose with a full nelson submission after tossing her through a gypsum wall.
• In an unexpectedly electric first match out of intermission, Athena defeated the feisty Hania with the O-Face.
• Candice LeRae beat back the sleazy challenge of Chris Dickinson with a Balls-plex
• In the main event, Jessicka Havok overcame interference from Dickinson and a belt shot from the challenger to put down Shanna with the Air Raid Crash.

General Observations:

• The atmosphere in the CZW Wrestling Academy felt intimate from start. I've been to shows where the seats were just as close to the ring, but the venue itself lent to a warm and close atmosphere. The floor was carpeted, the lighting befit an office complex more than a wrestling arena, and the floor plan made everything feel more compressed. Walking into the building and seeing Chris Dickinson and Alpha Female mill about and talk shop like it was an office building and not a wrestling show only added to that unique feeling.
• Shynron busted out his backflip handspring into an Ace Crusher move midway through the opening match, and JT Dunn folded up like an accordion for it. The sell reminded me of when The Rock used to oversell the Stone Cold Stunner.
• Mickie Knuckles hit the ring, and the first thing she did was lick the ring announcer's cheek. During the course of her match with Kimber Lee, she licked Lee and the referee Sozio, proclaiming that she liked to lick things. Hey, at least she was up front with her preferences.
• Knuckles broke out some fancy grappling early on in the match after a humorous exchange on a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Talk about portfolio diversification…
• Lee reversed an exchange into a seated leg-applied full nelson, to which Knuckles replied "I don't bend that way!" I consider Mark Henry to be the best in-match chirper of all-time, and Knuckles was on his level in this contest.
• Knuckles manhandled Lee so hard that Lee's bra broke. Knuckles did the most civilized thing possible and started to choke her with her own broken clothing.
• Shortly after that, Knuckles must have caught wind of what Denver Colorado (the man, not the place!) was saying on commentary and threatened to skull-fuck him.
• Lee caught Knuckles with an enzugiri, and Knuckles' eyes went totally glassy before she fell over like a tree clipped by a logger's saw.
• After the match, Knuckles kept on Lee, ramming her head into the canvas. Jewells Malone ran out with a fire extinguisher to make the save.
• Barbi Hayden came out and cut a promo trashing the crowd and venue. Now that she had become the NWA Women's World Champion, she was too big for a secret show, which brought out Santana Garrett and Amber O'Neal to chase her off.
• O'Neal and Garrett, billed as America's Sweethearts, did their syrupy BFF act before the match, which brought jeers from both Christina von Eerie and Neveah. After the match, the jeering got worse, obviously.
• Alpha Female hit the ring and stood in her corner across from Barracuda Britney like a pillar of ominous foreboding. She crossed her arms, opened her eyes wide, flared her nostrils, and stared a hole through the rookie. I was impressed.
• Britney didn't have a chance, actually. Alpha kicked her ass thoroughly, and then afterwards, draped her German flag over her. In another era, she could have broken through the gender barrier as an over the top communist foreign heel.
• Jenny Rose came out right after the decision and started chanting "USA! USA!" in an attempt to goad Alpha into another match. She got that match, whoo boy, she did.
• The action went to the outside through the crowd. Alpha, seeming like she didn't really grasp the difference in this venue from the ones she normally works in, threw her violently into a gypsum wall. Rose went through the drywall. DJ Hyde, who owns CZW and is responsible for the upkeep of the building, did not look too thrilled.
• Of course, to patch up the hole temporarily, the wrestlers took a cardboard cutout of Hyde and placed it against the wall.
• Alpha finished Rose with a full nelson. Rose is not a petite girl, and Alpha ragdolled the shit out of her, worse than any Master Lock I've ever seen.
• Hania and Athena worked STIFF early and throughout their match. I wasn't really aware of any beefs between the two going in, but holy shit, both of these wrestlers just laid into each other.
• Hania broke out a casadora driver into the second turnbuckle. Corner moves are my personal kryptonite.
• Chris Dickinson came out to "I'm Too Sexy," which admittedly got a rise out of me.
• Dickinson's shtick was a bit uncomfortable to watch, but to be fair, Candice LeRae was always presented as being able to overcome him.
• They say you never forget seeing your first Balls-plex live. It certainly is a magnificent wrestling hold, lemme tell ya.
• Shanna came out for her match dancing like a stripper and accepting dollar bills from fans in her drawers. At least two fans obliged her, as did the ring announcer. Yeah, that whole display made me fucking embarrassed to be there or to call myself a wrestling fan, to be quite honest.
• Jessicka Havok wasn't too thrilled with Shanna, and she jawed at her from jump. Shanna barked back, and Havok just pie-faced her, which elicited a "HOW RUDE" and a slap from Shanna. Of course, Havok answered it with a lariat. I marked, not gonna lie.
• Shanna had Havok down and put on the Champ's jacket. It was a great visual to see Havok stalking upon her.
• After the match, Hyde went to the ring to confront Havok as a receipt from Blood and Thunder, when Havok rebuked his advances. The exchange was entertaining except Hyde dropped a "c-bomb" in there. I can't get over that word. It should not be used. EVER.

Match of the Night:Kimber Lee vs. Mickie Knuckles - A great wrestling match isn't just comprised of holds, counters, bumps, and selling. At its heart, pro wrestling is performance art, theater if you will. Chatter within the match, facial expressions, and gesticulations are technically not necessary, but they can elevate so-so matches to good and so on and so forth. Mickie Knuckles took this match, which was actually would have been a standout match on its own, and elevated it with her shit-talking (on par with Mark Henry, to be honest), her wide-eyed war faces, and her general frenetic energy.

Of course, the main pitfall of being as expressively extracurricular as Knuckles was during this match was that the main conflict against Lee could have become secondary to getting herself over. However, everything Knuckles did built towards her desire to destroy Lee. She jawed with the announcers out of a paranoia that they might not have been giving her enough credit. She threatened Sozio because god forbid the referee show concern for the opponent that Knuckles would've been content to eviscerate with no concern.

Lee herself played the best babyface she possibly could, enhancing both the story and her opponent's bloodthirsty and somewhat perverted rage. She bumped hard and brought some blazing fire with her comebacks. And when the time came for Knuckles to make Lee's offense look like a world-beater, she put as much into selling as she did in her psychological torment. Lee at one point hit Knuckles with an enzugiri, and she took the move as if she were a redwood falling in the forest, that is, if a redwood had a face to blank out while the lumberjack yelled "TIMBERRRRRR!" This match was a complete performance from both wrestlers, especially Knuckles, who stole the show from the second match and dared everyone else to try and follow that.

Overall Thoughts: The show was unique and fun, but I couldn't help but shake some sense of grossness from some of the components. The portion before intermission was actually okay and the show seemed to be everything I wanted to be out of an intimate studio taping, and that part of the show featured Mickie Knuckles licking everything she could get her tongue on. Seriously though, Knuckles is a cult of personality, and I want her to be on so many shows. She embodies the kind of freakshow fringe that adds edge to a show without making it feel skeezy.

But the main event brought out so much of what is still wrong with women in wrestling in general. For one, Shanna stripper-dancing and taking singles in her tights sets everything back to Stone Age levels. EVERYTHING. Women are only starting to gain a foothold in pro wrestling in America by distancing themselves from the seedy idea that they only compete as spank bank depositors. Shanna taking ones from certain audience members and the ring announcer is part of the same creepy fabric that allowed Barbershop Window to think they could release their infamous shirt and keeps the customs market open.

And I don't really care how much the post-match stuff got Jessicka Havok over. I don't care if she's okay with being called the c-bomb. DJ Hyde should not stoop to using that word in reference to anyone, especially a woman. Other than that word, the segment was a hit. The tension in the air was palpable, and the story is helping keep Havok as Champion somewhat fresh despite her stranglehold on the WSU Championship. In a showdown that included both parties hocking loogies in each others' faces, the worst thing was a word. But that word holds so much power. In a carny environment, a lot of shit gets a pass, but not even the hyper-surreal world of reality bending and performers having skin thicker than bulletproof glass should the continued stratified caste system based on gender (or race or sexual preference or etc.) continue to be perpetrated.

Even Chris Dickinson's shtick made me feel uncomfortable at points. I saw him get really sleazy with Candice LeRae, and it just reminded me of everything bad about bro culture, so much to the point where defending it as performance art makes me feel like I'm mansplaining. Conversely, at no point was he presented as a superior to LeRae, and his endgame in WSU is set up that he's in all making fun of that kind of woman-objectifying bro-mans. His whole character might feel like more of a satire if it wasn't embedded in the same narrative as the other horrendous stuff that went down.

I feel somewhat bad harping on the gross stuff though, because the rest of the show was a fine departure from the typical wrestling event, even by WSU standards. The intimate setting of the CZW School seemed to loosen up the performers, like they felt the intimacy of the venue. Knuckles was an animated dynamo, and Lee bumped all over the place for her. America's Sweethearts, Neveah, and Christina von Eerie were almost adorable in their post-match interactions. Alpha Female brought the hype and then some. Her presence in the ring was everything I thought it would be, and in another era, she may have been able to break through the gender barrier as an imposing "foreign menace" heel. Even without her heritage and the entire flag-shrouding post-match ritual, she came off as a wrestler to be awed at and respected.

And then, Hania announced that she wasn't someone to make fun of for comic botching and finished the job Alpha literally started using Jenny Rose as a weapon in tearing the house down. She brought a fire that I didn't know she had, and Athena to her credit wrestled the same high-impact match she would work before she got hurt. That match embodied what the Beyond Wrestling ethos combined with the can-do fighting spirit of WSU's roster was all about. Having to share that spotlight with some sleaze is unfortunate, but I trust Denver Colorado will right the ship, or at least I hope he does. That roster has too much talent and the oeuvre they have going for them has too much potential to be special for it to be derailed by an imperfect Iberian wrestler accepting scuzz-money directly in her gear.