Maybe Alicia Fox was the best representation Cameron had Photo Credit: WWE.com

Cameron appears not to be that good in the ring. One does not have to possess an acuity beyond plain sight to come to that conclusion. Her series so far against AJ Lee for the Divas Championship has shown she has a far to go before she can even reach a basic level of competency, which puts her on the same level as most women who have populated the main roster historically. WWE right now is flush with women who are good wrestlers though, so why would Cameron get the nod over someone like Nattie Neidhart, Summer Rae, Emma, or even Alicia Fox? The attachment to Naomi, who was originally to get the shot before she got her orbital bone cracked by Aksana.

Speaking of Fox, she's become somewhat of a punchline thanks to Cameron. When she was known as Ariane Andrew during the one-season revival of Tough Enough, she infamously claimed her favorite match of all-time was Fox against Melina. The answer made Steve Austin facepalm, and she became a meme within the wrestling world. Granted, as a longtime, hardcore wrestling fan, I can't fathom the idea of someone liking a standard issue WWE Divas match the best throughout the annals of the art's history. Conversely though, I do not have the same problem that Cameron does.

My race, gender, and sexual orientation have been well-represented throughout history. In fact, as a white, straight male, my demographic has pretty much DOMINATED the ranks of wrestlers, stars, and Champions.

Granted, some of my favorite performers, both historically and currently, are outside of the demographic, but the point isn't to say that one can only be a fan of someone who looks similar to you. However, the fact that I could tune in and see Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, the Ultimate Warrior, Jake Roberts, Earthquake, and other similar titans of the squared circle didn't really hurt the dream that if I wanted to, I could be just like them. Who has Cameron ever had to look up to as a fan, no matter when she started out as one? Fox is one of a scant few of black females who have been in featured roles in the company, or in wrestling in general.

Wrestling fandom on the average level is more about emotional response, and that response is more easily attained when the fan has someone with whom he or she can connect. With that in mind, Cameron becoming the meme feels like it could have a lot of adjectives describing it. Fair is not one I would use, however. If anything, shouldn't the indictment be on WWE? The company gave Cameron scant few demographic fits for her to look up to, scant few gateway performers that would have opened her up to liking the entire gamut of superstars. Even ignoring the paucity of women of color, the fact that WWE has done disservice to strong women characters of any race or creed is troubling.

The cycle continues today. Those who watched NXT ArRIVAL thinking that Emma vs. Paige is the future will be sorely disappointed until a culture change happens on the main roster. While Emma, Paige, Summer Rae, Bayley, and Sasha Banks get showcase matches on NXT, Lee goes weeks without being on television sometimes. Matches are still laid out with the same three-minute layout that treats women's wrestling it's something other than any other kind of wrestling presented. Those standouts in NXT won't have the chance to shine and provide examples when they're cast as wrestlers' girlfriends upon arriving to the main roster.

And more bitterly, Cameron herself won't get better until she gets a chance to get more and more reps in a live ring working matches that every wrestler, male or female, should work. Fox, Melina, Trish Stratus, Beth Phoenix, and every other "Diva" who came before them should have had those opportunities too. Since they didn't, and since the best gateway for any fan into the art is seeing people like you partaking it, the best entree for Cameron to get into wrestling was Melina wrestling Alicia Fox.

Making fun of Cameron might seem cute, but it actually feels sexist. The blame doesn't rest with her; rather, the system that keeps women constrained to work a style that demeans them needs to be put under scrutiny.

YESSSSS TACOOOOOOO Photo Credit: TH

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - The intestinal fortitude on Bryan is off the charts. Challenging Triple H to a match at WrestleMania? The man whose wife made Chris Jericho pick up dog poop, pulled out Booker T's mugshot, invaded Randy Orton's home, and beat up Sheamus with a lead pipe as part of his Mania mythos? Anyone with that much bravery deserves the top slot.

2. Cate Blanchett (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Her speech at the Oscars was spot on. Maybe Vince McMahon ought to listen to her when she says leading ladies can draw bank.

3. AJ Lee (Last Week: 3) - So your bodyguard fucks up and kicks you in the jaw at the pay-per-view and you gotta give the challenger a rematch the next night on RAW? Pfft, no challenge for AJ Lee.

4. Tacos Bistec (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. So good. SO GOOD. Every day should be Taco Day.

5. Jennifer Lawrence (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Even tripping on the red carpet, my lady looks fly as hell.

6. Mark Henry (Last Week: 5) - Another awards show, another snub for Mark Henry's epic performance on RAW last year. WHEN WILL THESE SNOOTY JERKS LEARN? HOW MANY WIGS WILL MARK HENRY HAVE TO SPLIT?

7. Davey Vega (Last Week: 7) - I heard he did things to Roderick Strong on Saturday. Bad things. Really bad things.

8. Allen Iverson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Iverson came to Philadelphia in the late '90s and made basketball exciting again. He electrified the fanbase and made the old guard uncomfortable as shit. No one could score like he could, and even with that electric talent, the stodgy sports talk goons still wanted him to change his game. Philly didn't deserve him but those who appreciated him deserved every bit of him and more. His number was retired Saturday by the 76ers, and no other number deserved to be put out of circulation more than his.

9. Australian Snake (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Remind me never to go to Australia, by the by.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: Her Oscar parties are always the best because she has five different kinds of fondue and a life-size cardboard cutout of Aja Kong. The cutout is for good luck. Good luck for what? She hasn't said.

Austin/McMahon for a new generation Photo Credit: WWE.com

Daniel Bryan is presumably straight edge. He has hair upon hair upon even more hair. I bet his beard has a beard. He is technical prowess personified, and is a gnome in the land of giants. Cosmetically and technically, Bryan could not be any further from "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (an argument could be made that Austin himself was more gifted on the mat than WWE would ever let him show, but for all intents and purposes, Stunning Steve and Stone Cold might as well be two different people). But tonight, he became the spiritual successor to Austin, the antihero for a new generation. This role was one that fit him ever since Trips pedigreed him at SummerSlam, sure, but the autumn felt like a giant holding pattern, a rut for Bryan to go up against a proxy in Randy Orton who hadn't been as realized as even The Rock was when he was Austin's foil.

But even though Bryan and Trips had always been at odds, they never clashed the way Austin and Vince McMahon did until tonight it seemed. A palpable tension filled the air of the Allstate Arena, aided slightly by a group of fans who wanted to see an appearance from another one of Bryan's Ring of Honor alumni brethren, but while the RAW hijackers provided the kindling, Bryan, Trips, and Stephanie McMahon provided the spark, the fuel, and snail-trail of gasoline residue that lit the arena on fire. When Bryan told Triple H to make him get out of the ring, I got flashbacks to when Austin shoved McMahon back into his entourage (which included Sgt. Slaughter!).

Of course, I still believe that a match with Triple H isn't the best-fitting one for Bryan at Mania. He should be wrestling for the title. All of Austin's matches with McMahon were at B-pay-per-views, and McMahon always made sure his proxies and the WWF Championship were the main fighters and goals for Stone Cold respectively. However, I'd be stupid to deny that putting the Knee-Plus into Trips' face and pinning him clean in the middle of the ring wouldn't carry a hefty bit of cache, especially if Trips keeps playing to the vocal and emotionally invested fans in the audience who already see him, fairly or not, as the guy who slept his way to the top of the company, held everyone down, and went all Baby Boomer Dad on everyone else for not pulling themselves up by the bootstraps keep taking the red meat.

The fear, of course, is that Triple H will think the template he laid out on NXT ArRIVAL with Antonio Cesaro and Paige winning their respective matches over hated rivals only to embrace them afterwards is the best way to go. I hate to shit on an outcome before it happens, but Triple H beating Bryan at Mania feels like a nightmare scenario, no matter the context. Still though, the underdog has to take his lumps before he can overturn the tables. I know that feels like a tough pill to swallow. I'm not sure I'm ready to put my trust in the company to do right by the story, which should see Bryan leaving Mania as a conqueror above all other conquerors.

Then again, how many times did the looming dread hang above my head when watching Austin navigate the maze of Crash TV finishes and screwjobs galore? I don't know if Bryan will get similar successes against his Vince McMahons, Rocks, and Undertakers. I also don't know if WWE showing every sign of having CM Punk come back without him actually showing up is a testament to their capacity for trolling and a foreshadow for how Bryan is going to turn out. But no matter the differences between the two, I'm still getting that antiheroic vibe from Bryan that I got from Austin 17 years ago. I can only hope against every logical thread in my body that the results will be similar.

And as an addendum, I don't care if Stephanie McMahon was wearing a skirt tonight. I'm sick and tired of having my favorite wrestlers be scripted to say things that suggest wearing women's clothing is a sign of weakness or other misogynistic chestnuts. Cut that fucking bullshit out, and don't make me feel icky for rooting for my favorite wrestler.

While Aaron Paul was at RAW last night to promote The Need for Speed, the reason why he was such a get in the first place was his turn as Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad. I know why he couldn't say his signature "bitch" on RAW (and I agree with it), but I wish he would have just shouted "YEAH! SCIENCE!" even if the opportunity didn't even come up. Wrestling needs a non-sequitur or two. And hey, Dolph Ziggler got to win. YEAH!

Drake Younger, the man who conquered the death match scene and moved out to the West Coast in an attempt to make California his stomping grounds, has been signed to a WWE developmental contract. The news was broken last night by the All-Pro Wrestling Facebook page. Younger's final match for the seminal NorCal promotion will be against Adam Thornstowe for his Universal Championship. Younger wrestled for old stomping grounds Absolute Intense Wrestling and Combat Zone Wrestling recently as well against Michael Elgin and Danny Havoc respectively in matches that were said to have tones of finality to them. He will also appear one last time for Pro Wrestling Guerrilla at Mystery Vortex II on March 28.

Younger, who famously gave up death matches last year, has pretty much done everything he could do on the indies at this point with the exception of winning the PWG World Championship. He is yet another in the CZW/PWG/ROH pipeline who has been snapped up by developmental, a list which includes his former rival Sami Callihan, now hacking computers as Solomon Crowe. I've had mixed feelings on Younger's work, but I think his brawling skillset will help him transition into the WWE style comfortably.

In other California-related news, Timothy Thatcher, the British Messiah who has made Northern California a roosting spot, will be coming east for CZW's High Stakes this weekend. Thatcher is proficient in World of Sport-influenced mat wrestling, and he's become a favorite of observers both far and near. I will be interested to see what he'll be doing in the Combat Zone.

It's been a rough first week for The Network

Last Monday, I ordered WWE Network. I didn't even sign up for the free week. I did the paid version right away. I was so excited to have every pay-per-view at my fingers, to watch pre-and-postgame shows, to have something to watch that was more than Food Network or background noise when nothing else was on. A week later, I still am excited to have it. I finished watching Starrcade '83 yesterday, and as I type these words right now, I have the first WrestleMania on my live stream. However, that first week hasn't been without headache.

As a Roku user, I experienced the hiccups that plagued the app through the early going. I couldn't load any of the video on demand content, and the live stream had several outages and changes between standard and high definition. The first apparent nadir took place during NXT ArRIVAL, when the stream ducked out for nearly everybody, causing most viewers to miss out on the beginning of the main event. However, rock bottom could be described as The Network's inability to work on X-Box.

Then again, online streaming is still in its infancy as a medium, and The Network itself is one of the first "over the top" ventures to pop up of any sort. Chris Harrington crunched numbers and found that 130,000 or so people signed up within the first eight hours of availability. The demand was overwhelming, even more so than what the Major League Baseball servers (the company that is working on technical support for The Network) couldn't handle the load initially. So reasons exist for why the service stumbled out of the blocks that the failures are almost understandable.

Then again, WWE is a financial juggernaut, and they had this Network in the planning for years. I struggle to put together sympathy or make excuses for a multinational corporation with as much reach and technical savvy that WWE has. I don't know what the company could have done. Even if these problems were inevitable, I'm paying WWE money in order to get a good or service. I expect it to deliver, especially with the resources behind it.

Still, for as much static as The Network has produced in its first week, the awesome potential is already starting to show. The library is already impressive, and it's only going to grow. The expediency with which WWE and the app deliverers are getting to fix problems is encouraging. Of course, the big test will be WrestleMania. Many among the wrestling Twitterati joke or make remarks about how the booking might turn fans off to the event, but widespread streaming outages might end up being disastrous on levels that would make the InVasion's flop look like a slightly below-average month in the Attitude Era.

No matter what the future holds for the venture, one week is a small sample size. However, in the crucible of the time it took place, dealing with it has been a bit too frustrating for comfort. Hopefully, the viewing public will get the fruits of their purchase sooner rather than later, because The Network is too awesome a concept to be mired in technical problems.

Drake Younger is headed to the Performance Center, another in a long line of indie standouts that WWE has signed and brought into its ranks. The company has mostly had success with these wrestlers, and Younger looks to be another one who will shine first in Florida and then nationally (that is, unless he comes in as a referee as is rumored). Of course, Younger will work a different style than what most fans of his from Combat Zone Wrestling or Pro Wrestling Guerrilla will recognize, a pitfall of going from the free-form indie circuit to the structured WWE. I know some of my peers would disagree with my desire to see as many great performers at least get a shot in WWE, but WWE's in ring style is awesome right now, and I like seeing the guys I love to watch in the ring get paid top dollar for their services. The next six pack doesn't necessarily list the next likeliest to get signed, but the next six that I would like to see get their runs through the WWE machine.

1. Kevin Steen

Steen has been there and done that in nearly every corner of the independent scene. About the only thing left for him to do is tour Japan or Mexico before getting a shot with WWE. I know why the big company might not want him; it judges books by their covers all the time. Steen's body type went out of style sometime around 1988 to Vince McMahon, but regardless of what the preconceived notions about what a WWE superstar should look like are, Steen transcends them. He is a master in the squared circle, able to work any style and capture any crowd within the palm of his hand. Steen not only is ready for his close-up, but he, more than any wrestler on the indies, would nail it.

2. Eddie Kingston

Kingston is a throwback, and thankfully for him, throwbacks can thrive in WWE. His brawling skills would make him a fit in any match along the card, and his magnetic charisma would make him the iconoclastic star for the Latino community that WWE has been looking for since Rey Mysterio started to show signs of decline. Sure, he has a reputation as being a loose cannon, but that could help his stature in WWE, since one of the most mythical figures of the Attitude Era actually had that nickname before he passed.

3. ACH

ACH is at the vanguard at a group of super-talented high flyers on the scene right now. Not only could he do magical things in the 20 by 20 WWE ring during matches, he would immediately be the most awe-inspiring spectacle before said matches as well. He already makes his entrances amazing through his acrobatics. Imagine what they could be with WWE's pyrotechnic budget behind them. He embodies swag, and his personality is big enough that he could fill the big arenas just like he fills the small rooms like the Mohawk today.

4. Uhaa Nation

Nation is one of the few guys in the indies right now with the body to fit into the land of the giants seamlessly. What would set him apart from the other hosses is that he has the spirit of a high-flyer in the body of the Vince McMahon special genetic freak. He could be the most unique wrestler WWE would have ever seen, and his versatility would make him a fit against any wrestler on the roster, from the Sheamuses and Brock Lesnars down to the Daniel Bryans and Rey Mysterios.

5. Robert Evans

If Evans makes it to WWE, he might be shunted into the Santino Marella/3MB role because he's excellent at comedy. But much like Marella and at least two members of the Three Man Band (still unsure on Jinder Mahal outside of it), Evans is able to legitimize comedic wrestling and is versatile at doing any kind of wrestling angle or character asked of him. Either way though, Evans' expressive facials and outrageous body language would set him apart from most of the roster and get fans of all ages behind him.

6. Jessicka Havok

I hesitated to put Havok or any woman on the list because of how dire the straits are for women on the main roster. At the same time, if any female performer is going to demand respect for her and her peers, Havok would fit that bill. Not only is she an imposing presence and a tremendous brawler, but she commands attention and respect like few others on the indie scene, male or female. She has the physical credibility not only to wrestle women, but men as well, and while a full integration of genders in WWE may remain a pipe dream in my lifetime, I still refuse to let that dream go.

Beth Phoenix recently had a child, and she's reaffirmed that she's trying to live life on the outside now. Still, her run in WWE was about as spiffy as a woman's could be, which isn't actually saying a whole lot. Still, before the Divas of Destruction were derailed, Phoenix was ever-cromulent in the ring, in part due to her finisher. The Glam Slam was more often than not a sight to behold, from arching the victim up as high as they could go through the seamless rollover into the gloriously triumphant pinning combination. The following video has 18 for your perusal. Enjoy!

Cena helped keep the unruly crowd under wraps Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- Wrasslin' Story Time: WWE doesn't hate you, but it doesn't mean they don't care [SB Nation]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: #HijackBestAndWorst [With Leather]

- The hypocrisy of #HijackRAW [Voices of Wrestling]

- Some genius made 35 black velvet paintings of wrestlers [Deadspin]

- The Best and Worst of NXT ArRIVAL [With Leather]

- NXT ArRIVAL [Kick-Out!! Wrestling]

- Seven Things: Stages of being a wrestling fan [Wrestling on Earth]

- WWE's indie logic: On the science of wrestling and the importance of character [False Underdog]

- Top ten worst pay-per-view posters [Wrestling on Earth]

- WWE main events that should've happened at WrestleMania [Camel Clutch Blog]

- NETWORKED [Pro Wrestling Update]

- The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling: We Have Books on TV! [With Leather]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- The Cleveland Plain Dealer speaks out against Chief Wahoo [Awful Announcing]

- 28 reasons why Black History Month 2014 was the worst ever [The Smoking Section]

- Rape, lies, and The Internet: The story of Conor Oberst and his accuser [Jezebel]

- Allen Iverson: Perfectly imperfect [Liberty Ballers]

- Adam Silver is ready for the next lockout [Hardwood Paroxysm]

- Cosmopolitan's most batshit crazy food sex tips [Kitchenette]

- El Jarocho: Philadelphia, PA [Holzerman Hungers]

- How to cook sea scallops without ruining them: The case against bacon [Foodspin]

- Yes, there are more foods that should not exist [Kitchenette]

- Seriously folks, you shouldn't be refrigerating your tomatoes [io9]

- Barry Switzer breaks down the 2014 quarterback draft class [Good Bull Hunting]

- PFT Commenter's exclusive interview with John Rocker [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- A modest proposal for NFL locker rooms [SB Nation]

- Super Mario World is the key to parallel universes [Sploid]

- I'm a trans woman and I didn't think Jared Leto deserved his Oscar [ROYGBIV]

- The ten most serious Oscar snubs in history [Film Drunk]

- You'll never guess how Terry Gilliam's mind-bending version of Watchmen would've ended [Gamma Squad]

- Watch David Byrne cover Biz Markie's "Just a Friend" [Gawker]

- Ten songs you didn't know were written about celebrities [The Onion]

- What happens when we exceed the Universe's speed limit? [io9]

What a headshot Photo via Cowboys4Angels.com

Via SLAM! Sports

Buff Bagwell always said he was "the stuff" when he was an active wrestler. He had a sculpted physique, oozed what he thought was swag at least, and his most iconic pre-nWo tag team saw him with Scotty Riggs affect the wardrobe and mannerisms of male strippers at the very least. That art has now become possible foreshadowing for real life, as Bagwell has been linked to the male escort service, Cowboys4Angels, in the Atlanta area. He has a profile and everything on the service's site, and he even appeared on the Showtime documentary series Gigolos:


The term "gigolo" usually refers to a male prostitute, although escort services can exist because they don't advertise sex (obvs). Bagwell, who survived a pretty gnarly car crash two years ago, has aged well and looks like someone who would appeal to those who find men attractive. I think him living in reality the implied character of his American Males character is hilarious, but hey, if he can make a living without accruing even more CTE, more power to him, I suppose.

Piper and Valentine worked a modern match 30 years ago, and wrestlers of today can learn lessons from it. Photo Credit: WWE.com

Starrcade '83 is widely regarded as the first ever attempt at nationally distributing a "super card" to an audience outside the territory the promotion was mainly housed within. While the show was not a pay-per-view as the wrestling world would know it from WrestleMania II through Elimination Chamber 2014, it was certainly the precursor in spirit and format to the supercards of the last major epoch in wrestling history. The grainy video quality, low tonality and matter-of-factness of Bob Caudle and Gordon Solie in the announce table, and builds of a good portion of the wrestlers showed the age of the event, but a lot of the meat of the program looked modern, especially in the ring.

If one went just by the match finishes, that statement would seem contrary. The highest impact move, by today's standards, that finished a match was Ric Flair flying off the top rope in the cage match to win the NWA World Heavyweight Championship over Harley Race. Moves that finished matches included a knee drop from the top assisted by an arm-wringer, a superplex, and a double team military press-assisted splash. All of those moves are transitional today, especially in the hyperactive independent scene, where moves that wouldn't be introduced as match-enders in Japan for a few years at the time this Starrcade happened elicit only two counts.

Judging a match only by its moves, however, is the worst way to discern its quality. Sure, not all the matches on the show were excellent. Some of them weren't even good. However, the matches that ended up excelling were steeped in psychology, had nuance, and felt like they could be translated into an average ring to great applause today, regardless of how many head drops were or were not in them. In fact, I would put "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine and their dog collar match against any of the most brutally violent contests in ECW, CZW, or any modern death match promotion. The match was bloody and ruthless, but also intelligent and well-paced. They only had one weapon to use, the chain, and it felt more violent and relevant than some hardcore matches where the entire repertoire of weapons was broken out.

Great wrestling is timeless for sure. I think Piper and Valentine could have had the same exact match today and popped most crowds. The same would go for the Tag Team Championship match between the Brisco Brothers and Ricky Steamboat and Jay Youngblood. However, I am but one viewer, and I admit my tastes run an immensely wide spectrum. I also don't think wrestling should nor do I want it to go back to the days where everyone had a limited moveset with transition move-looking finishers. The toothpaste is out of the tube.

However, while it cannot be shoved back into the tube, wrestlers of today would be wise not to press on it too hard and clean up the mess they've made so far. Stylistic concerns are subjective, but what is clearly true is that the wear and tear on wrestlers' bodies has increased over the year. Forget the head drops and the bumps that peg the Ziggler Scale. The sheer increase in number of flat back bumps, no matter how simple they look, cannot have been good for the collective joint health of wrestlers over the years.

I still think wrestling has a place for the highest of high spots. I love seeing big powerbombs, graceful planchas, and even the occasional head spike. Given the proliferation of these moves both as finishes and transitional moves, the paying public has enjoyed them too. But Daniel Bryan's rise to the top in WWE, the increase in fan reactions to the various beats in WWE crowds, and the growing overness of guys on the indies like Drew Gulak working World of Sport-inspired mat wrestling styles show to me that the average crowd is also becoming more and more receptive to safer, old-school match threads.

Hybridization is key. The proverbial toothpaste cannot - and should not - be put back in the tube. The exponential expansion of the universal moveset has made the color palette for a given wrestling match almost infinite. However, if Piper and Valentine or even Flair and Race can look modern in 1983, then today's crop of wrestlers can do themselves favors by studying the classics closer, looking at how these guys manipulated the crowds, and updated those tropes so that they can save their own asses for the future.

Mass, coordinated live tweeting of old wrestling events has become all the rage amongst the corner of the wrestling fan universe I inhabit. Those tweet-ups have been rallied around torrents from shady Russian hubs, bad rips on YouTube, or DVDs that may or may not be in everyone's possession. The WWE Network, however, has provided the best gift for dorks like you and I who gather around classic events to watch through a modern lens in its expansive video on demand library. The confluence of these events has led me to jump into the fray and announce that a week from tonight, I am going to experiment with my own mass live-tweet of a past event.

I am pleased to introduce The Wrestling Blog Retro Live Tweet Series, where I invite all of you readers and Twitter followers to join along with me as I watch a classic event and tweet my observations to the world. The first installment of this series will happen Wednesday, March 12 at 8 PM Eastern Standard Time. The event?

WrestleMania II

Brandon Stroud and the International Object podcast both discussed the second installment in WWE's tentpole event, the first to be offered on pay-per-view. However, only so much can be gleaned out of reading about or listening to folks discuss the event. I want to get the experience of watching the event that has gone down in history as the Lost WrestleMania. As with the standard live tweet, a hashtag will be associated with the whole proceeding. When tweeting about the show, use the tag #TWBManiaII. I will search the tag and compile the funniest, smartest, and most insightful tweets during the event.

I will remind you copiously over the next week, but if this shindig is something you might be interested, let me know. And hey, if you don't have WWE Network, please don't feel like you can't participate. If you have a torrent file, a YouTube rip, or want to watch your DVD, I still want you to participate. Everyone who wants to participate, please do so any way you can. Let's make this first communal event a smash!

At the table, Road Dogg was telling Dad Jokes while begrudgingly putting over the young talent in the ring. The Usos who'd taken the belts from him the night previous and the Matadores who hoped to ascend to that place one day, and one day soon. Billy Gunn sat next to him, selling a faux bout of encephalitis, and in that moment there was no better reminder of the surety of time and change than this juxtaposition on display.

In 2014 on the WWE Network, the former Champion Outlaws may be of age, but there's nothing new about them anymore. Preserved in amber like a "My Love Is The Shh..." cassingle, long-time fans of the product look at the former King of the Ring and the former Intercontinental Champion as not entirely beloved relics of an age when there was glory to be found in being too young to know better. But those sort of days are over: nowadays, the tag teams look like each other as if to be Winklevii, flying around with topes and planchas that are just as big a jab in the mind's eye as sharing a table with Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton, or tiny bulls running around ringside more than willing to put their horns to your junk. Not that El Torito can be blamed, since Billy shoved him down first. When are people going to learn: you mess with the bull, you get the hurricanrana.

Change is the variable constant, since no one can know with surety what it'll look like; just eventually that it'll arrive. So welcome to a new era of Main Event, Bias Junctioneers: a place of relevance, shown live, and moved to Tuesday if you laid down that tenski a month. (Also, if you were just keeping Ion TV on your dial so you could find it every Wednesday, maybe that's a burden you can lay down.)

Want proof this is a changed show? It wasn't the theme change that went down earlier in the year, or the slight recutting of the opening stinger to welcome us after the perennial Then Now Don't Forget You're Here Forever blip: it was the opening match, wherein Daniel Bryan faced his former anger management running buddy and current DOO (hee hee) Kane. Seeing everybody's boy D-Bry right here was as jarring as a Mark Henry tornillo would be. It was yet another unspoken, forceful reminder of who controls the spigot and who's thirst is real: with the Network hungry for first-run live programming, suddenly there were resources that there weren't barely half a week ago, and the Revamp of the Valkryies brought out the possibly new best in the world ready to avenge a beatdown he'd got the previous night and not "two nights ago".

There can be no better example of The Prince's paragraphs being followed to the letter than having the formerly demonic now corporately entrenched libertarian fighting his shaggy, vegan, television-less constant affirmer of the positive ex-friend start out the show. You'd think you were watching a production by a semi-benevolent capitalist virtual monopoly or something. The story was David vs. Goliath mach a trillion, with an added twist -- David's always unspoken anger issues flowing out not through words, but deeds and the absence thereof. Every time the former WWE Champion started thinking with his heart and not his head, he and his beard paid the price. Kane was able to biel and uppercut Daniel around with ease when those things occurred, putting him in vice grips and sending him into the barrier and whatnot.

But once Daniel Bryan chopped down the big redwood by taking out his leg with a swing into the post and then following up where he could while hoping to survive the heavy offenses... well, you could see how certain Washingtonians could get dubbed the real B.I.T.W. In the end, it was D over G and brains over brawn, even if it was via sunset flip rather than the vaunted small package. But that in itself was a triumph, a successful scouting and countering of a chokeslam attempt. On this night, there was no Viper, no Game, no winded Animal or sarcasm-drenched harpy to ruin his moment. Just Daniel Bryan, the face of the repressed, having come back as truth. Poor Kane. He mad, tho.

From goats to foxes, Alicia went in against Nikki Bella after that, both backed up by the usual suspects. Alicia in a lot of ways has become the pass/fail litmus test for every woman out to hold the Lisa Frank Memorial Belt. Can you have a good match with Alicia? If the answer to that is no, maybe more model-y and less armdrag-y. Fortunately for Nikki, she passed. She took a missed elbow drop and turned it into arm work. Alicia swept her leg and went to work, with Brie firing up the crowd to get in her sister's corner. Another awesome thing about the new era of Main Event, should this be that: no more crowd sweetening. Let the talent develop and live and die on their own. Before, Brie firing up the crowd would've been reviewed with not outright skepticism, but a "maybe they tweaked this to further the narrative", let's say. Here, you could see the people in the first few rows latch onto the chant and try to encourage everybody around them to join in. Despite Alicia's best efforts with her signature figure four headlock and Best Northern Lights in the Business, she ended up taking a one-way express pass to rack rack city, trick. Of course Brie'd provided an assist to her by nullifying Aksana on the outside, but passing grades are passing grades.

When the Outlaws and their laundry list of ailments waived off their rematch, GM Brad Maddox (stay gold, smarmy boy) quickly moved in to fill the gap. As it was, we just got a different set of challengers to challenge for the Baskin Pennies, and who better than the 2½ men who'd personified Main Event in the past few weeks? What followed was an out-and-out respect match between both sets of doppelgangers that even went unruined with a clean finish in favor of the new Champeens. They exchanged rollups for the better part of 90 seconds and split them evenly, they went for dropkicks at the same time that failed, and the crowd was into the lot of it even if there was more Usupport than Matador amor. There was a great spot late in the second segment of the match -- yes, Virginia, Main Event can now support TWO two-seggers -- that ended up with a Matador rererereversing into a standing tornado DDT for a near fall.

The biggest j'accuse the loyalists can lobby at the WWE isn't without merit. It seems entirely Heat-in-December easy for them to flip a switch and become a Shield/Wyatts Cesaro/Zayn IV THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER EXCLAMATION POINT ONE ONE ONE EXCLAMATION POINT ONE EXCLAMATION POINT, but there doesn't seem to be an impetus for it to be done. Perhaps the Network is the fire stoked that no outside force could touch, and perhaps this is actually going to be the new age personified, where even the Stamfordites will recognize that in the quest for perfection failing can still achieve greatness.

If this is a sweep across the board from the minor leagues to the top shows on the road to WrestleMania XXX, then there will be a flotilla of index fingers in the air chanting the same three-letter word. But let's stick a pin in this episode of WWEME: if nothing comes from it, nothing comes from it. And should something come from it, well, then, who could complain?

Pictured above: Bryan, Steph, and a necessary evil Photo Credit: WWE.com

When I was younger, I believed in a lot of stupid things sight unseen, no questions asked. Granted, none of them were on the level of incredulity as "WWE had to replace the original Ultimate Warrior," but in various states of like or dislike, I allowed myself to believe things that may or may not have been true. For awhile, I swore that Triple H was this diabolical political machinist who held everyone down and made sure he was the only person on the show who mattered despite the fact that he wasn't nearly as organically popular as those who came before him.

In fairness to my younger self, some of those rumors could have rung true. I believed them so steadfastly, but I only had whispers, rumors, and gossip to go by. Without being backstage at a WWE show or in creative meetings, I had no idea what was true and what was manufactured story by people who also didn't like Triple H. I've read and heard quite a bit of apologia about WWE's in-storyline COO (I'm not sure if he shoot-holds that title or not; I also don't particularly care), and while I appreciate the gestures of wanting to couch criticism in truth, I still can't get over the tonality of some of the rhetoric. Mainly, I don' t particularly think Triple H deserves to be lauded, and attempting to be fair to the man, as a wrestling television character at least, does not mean that the person judging him needs to stay out of the negative.

The reason why I was so quick to cling to rumors that Trips was a bastard who literally and unironically thought of himself the way his on-screen persona did sometime around SummerSlam 1999, he became one of the absolute worst characters in all of pro wrestling. He was boring and plodding, and the narrative surrounding him conflated those attributes with "cerebral." Those qualities metastasized somewhere in 2002, when he came back the conquering hero that was an even more overbearing persona than the original, villainous incarnation of The Game. Basically, every week, RAW was a demonstrated effort by WWE prodding me – and a good portion of the rest of the audience, but I can only speak personally – and asking like a sugar-addled kindergartner "DO YOU LIKE HIM YET? NO? HOW 'BOUT NOW?"

When that good guy run didn't work, he shifted back to villainy and somehow, the overbearing nature of his character got worse. Lording over Rob van Dam and Kane while winning the blowoff matches in those feuds was bad enough, especially since the Kane feud provided the single most embarrassing angle this side of Mark Henry and Mae Young's pregnancy story. I don't care that Trips got in the casket and dry-humped Katie Vick. He got to keep the belt. The crime of that entire run wasn't that he married into the family or was using political powers or any other rumor that might have bubbled to the surface. His violation was taking part in awful television and doing next to nothing on his own power to elevate it. Triple H at his best as "The Game" could still always come off as dry with the best material, and the period between creating the World Heavyweight Championship and the elevation of John Cena, Batista, and Randy Orton always felt like Creative was spewing out the worst of the worst.

The absolute nadir of this run as World Champion came in the build to WrestleMania XIX, where Booker T would challenge Trips. The feud started when the Champ busted out Booker's mugshot from when he was arrested for holding up a Wendy's in his pre-wrestling days and then referred to him as "you people," which might be the most famous coded language used by white people to refer to black people as the term they really want to use in history. The entire feud seemed racially charged and one-sided, with Booker only getting some shine the week before Mania. The entire feud was set up for Booker to give Triple H's character's racist ass some comeuppance by taking the Big Gold Belt on the biggest stage of them all. So, what happened?

Triple H kicked out of Booker's finisher and pinned him clean as a whistle with the Pedigree.

Honestly, the tone of the feud might have come from Creative, and yeah, Triple H had bigger and better things waiting for him with Goldberg coming in soon. But how could I watch that feud play out with Booker, a guy that I legitimately liked even from his WCW days, being the butt of the world's worst white superiority morality play and not feel like Triple H as the head of the program wasn't the biggest fucking problem with WWE? Sure, Trips may not have "buried" Booker, but he buried my interest in watching wrestling week to week for about seven years. Excuse me if I'm not interested in hearing the oral history about how everyone was wrong for accusing him of being Mr. Burial Monster.

Once again, I do understand the need for fairness in discussion of any period in wrestling history. I know Triple H went on to put over [REDACTED], Batista, and John Cena at the next three WrestleMania events in meaningful ways. But I also think pointing out that his flaws as a character, the absolutely boring way in which he was booked, and the declining quality of his matches is also as relevant, if not more relevant to be honest, than the base win-loss record. Even now, as he comes off the heels of the best segment he's done in antagonism of Daniel Bryan, I still got the feeling watching it that he was coming off slightly as the kind of obnoxious that made me want to change the channel. Of course, I didn't turn RAW off, and I actually enjoyed watching the repartee, but I still can't think of Trips as anything more than a necessary evil at this point.

WrestleMania 12 will be remembered most for the Iron Man match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, but my favorite moment will always be embedded in a midcard match between a returning superstar and a guy whose best days were ahead of him. Of course, if this match were booked just four years later, the results might have been inverted. However, bask now in the glory of the Ultimate Warrior no-selling the Pedigree. It. Is. GLORIOUS.

When I heard the news that Leo Kruger was going to be discontinued for the man behind him to play a different character, I was disappointed. Kruger had finally found a niche by emulating the infamous Kraven the Hunter from the Amazing Spider-Man comics, and to discard him in favor of a vague sounding prima donna gimmick sounded like a bad idea. However, as with judging most ideas before they come to fruition, Adam Rose and his Rosebuds proved me wrong last night with an amazing debut on NXT. Rose hosting a rave (with Solomon Crowe on DJ duties and Kalisto as a roving light-stick acrobat even!) and then coming out with an entourage of motley looking hangers-on was the king of above-and-beyond execution on an idea that will quickly endear any character to me. I admit I had to view the entrance a second and third time to get the full appreciation for it, but his shtick in the ring was spot on as well.

I think what will make this character work best in the future is his entourage of Rosebuds. They look like they are just having the best goddamn time out there dancing to the ring, letting Rose crowd-surf on them, and then waiting for him at the top of the ramp. The Kruger character might have been great from a critical standpoint, but not only is this Rose persona just as entertaining, it might actually get the man, who has been in developmental since 2010 for crying out loud, to the main roster in a meaningful manner.

Just some brothers scrappin', that's all Photo Credit: WWE.com

Brothers don't always see eye to eye. I should know firsthand. I am the oldest of two brothers by blood, and I am in many ways the black sheep of the family. We're not estranged, but our childhood wasn't exactly built upon sunshine, puppy dogs, and never disagreeing on anything. Having scraps with friends can sometimes lead to cattiness, sub-tweeting, or drifting apart, but when you scrap with your brother, more often than not, you're gonna throw hands. I've had more than a few fights within the family.

Not all the time are brothers bonded by blood. Some brotherhoods come together out of choice. The saying goes that blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, the second part oftentimes left out to change the meaning of the chestnut completely. Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins didn't come together because they shared a similar blood lineage. They came together for something greater, even if the exact cause for their union is still somewhat nebulous. Their covenant was and may still be ironclad. They proved it night in and night out when they redefined a style within WWE if not pioneered it.

The last two months have been rough for the Hounds of Justice, and their internal beefs started coming to light. When Rollins hopped off the apron, presumably sick of Ambrose's and Reigns' shit, he lit the fuse. Tonight, the hounds scrapped. Their blows were inevitable. Even in a normal, real-life scenario, where relationships aren't made to be thrown away like they are in wrestling, a total meltdown is traumatic. No matter how close the group is, watching their relationship dissolve, no matter how momentarily, causes discomfort. If this scene had played out at a frat house or a locker room or even a living room, the endgame would be a group hug and plowing on.

But wrestling is different. Group dynamics are made to be broken and reunited and broken again, depending on how impactful the original pairing was. The strongest bonds contain the most energy to hold together. It's why nuclear fission produces such a catastrophic explosion. If any group of wrestlers were wound together like a nucleus, it would be the trio Reigns, Ambrose, and Rollins.

And so that direction is where The Shield is trending. Or maybe they won't. Maybe in this case, the payoff is a stronger unit than what started. The blood of the covenant is thicker than water, and whatever covenant The Shield made within the group has survived for nearly 16 months. In modern wrestling, that span of time is an eternity. If the group survived for that long, maybe they're in for the long haul. Tonight may just be a hiccup on the way to immortality. Brothers scrap, everyone knows that.

I know I'm just deluding myself. I guess I'm not ready for The Shield to go by the wayside.

A lot of questions swirling around Bryan for Mania Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Anyway, time to go!

First, @HummerX wants to know how he can quit going to wrestling message boards.

I used to go to a wrestling message board quite frequently as well. I've even referenced it on here a few times. Honestly, I can't talk too much shit about that place, because the linkbacks I got from it gave me some page hits back in the day even after I left. But why did I leave? I was a posting member there for over a decade.

As it turns out, message boards tend to attract the worst kinds of people. Not all message boards are garbage. Dylan, who has a question below, will swear by places like Pro Wrestling Only. But intelligent discussion doesn't usually happen at these places. Furthermore, they also tend to attract the misogynists and the transphobes and the unironic versions of @PFTCommenter. So in addition to HOT RASSLIN TAKES, you tend to get the Bitcoin enthusiasts and birth certificate truthers as well.

Anyway, the best way to quit those kinds of places is just to stop going altogether, like I did with the one site in question. Quit cold turkey. Take refuge in the warm, comforting blanket that is Twitter, where you can filter out the people whose feeds you choose to take in. I joked the other day that I see and hear more people bitching about people who do nothing but complain about wrestling than I do the people who spam complaints all day long. The reason is that I don't follow anyone who is an Eeyore about the art. That fact about Twitter is utter brilliance. Just stay swaddled in Twitter, load up your RSS, and keep track of all the folks' birthdays you care to remember on Facebook, and your online life will be not as painful.

Next up, crack journalist Ken Borsuk asks if Triple H and Daniel Bryan will go on last in order to give Bryan his WrestleMania moment.

If I were laying out WrestleMania, I would have a hard time deciding among three choices. First choice obviously would be Trips/Bryan, which contains the payoff to eight months of storyline development. The second choice would be Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. The Streak pretty much has become the de facto top Championship in all of American wrestling, and with only a few matches left in Taker, each contest becomes more and more special. The third choice would be a triple threat for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, and the only way that three-way would go on last is if Bryan were inserted into the match for the eventual win. CM Punk coming back doesn't lift that match past Bryan/Trips or Taker/Lesnar. Obviously, Randy Orton vs. Batista by itself is not anchoring WrestleMania XXX. Either way, Bryan has a 2/3 shot of ending WrestleMania in the world's largest YES! chant. I like those odds.

@riskteenz wants to know who should go over to New Japan Pro Wrestling as the new crop of gaijin.

Currently, the gaijin on the roster are the Young Bucks, Alex Shelley, Karl Anderson, Prince Devitt, Tama Tonga, King Fale, Doc Gallows, Shelton Benjamin, Lance Archer, Davey Boy Smith, Jr., Rocky Romero, and Alex Koslov. That lineup is pretty intense to go along with their impressive list of native Japanese who wrestle for them. I don't watch NJPW regularly, but I think I get their style enough to know which wrestlers I might want to see take a tour or two for them. TJ Perkins is first on the list, because he's legitimately the most gifted mat wrestler I've ever seen. The ease with which he makes exchanges and holds look is incredible. Second, I would probably go with Masada just to fuck some shit up over there. Why should FREEDOMS and the other death match promotions get all the fun? Third, Michael Elgin would probably fit over there like a glove. Let him get a run with NJPW and see how that goes.

@unicomehe asks which son of Mike Rotunda is making him prouder: Bray Wyatt or Bo Dallas.

The apparent answer would be Wyatt, because he's going after the biggest fish to fry in WWE's pond, and Dallas is a goober who just lost his hardware to a guy Renee Young had to take a wide stance just not to tower over. However, Rotunda's character arc over the years has been super-patriotic American dude, snooty letterman jacket-wearing jackass, pencil-pushing number cruncher, and nWo B-Team member. Dallas is the son who is staying in the family business. Wyatt took some experimental drugs, and before anyone knew it, he left the family estate to go join a cult. I would think the former IRS would feel a bit more pride for the Troll King son rather than the psycho hillbilly. But then again, I'm not Mike Rotunda, so I just don't know.

@OkoriWadsworth wants to know who my favorite WCW and WWE Cruiserweight Champions were and why.

Best WCW Cruiserweight Champion would be Rey Misterio, Jr. He was the signature Champion in the early days as a feelgood babyface and a technical and high-flying marvel in the ring. Plus, he had one of the best matches in WCW history for it with Eddie Guerrero at Halloween Havoc, one where he staked his mask to gain the title.

The WWE version of the title was mostly contested while I was on hiatus from wrestling, but I do remember Tajiri having a few swanky matches for the belt. I'll go with him.

Sitemaster of Pro Wrestling UpdateJonathan Sullivan asks if I think ska will have another revival period.

Was ska ever really that big in the first place? I remember when Reel Big Fish and Save Ferris broke out that one year, but the genre felt like a blip. Anyway, I doubt any kind of rock 'n roll music will ever truly boom again, although really, any genre, no matter how expansive or narrow, will survive.

@mikechauvet asks if WWE should put a NXT match on the WrestleMania card.

Absolutely yes. The company has put NXT onto The Network, and it's bleeding the edges between continuities more and more by the day. So, of course NXT should have a spot at the table. The big question is which match should be booked? The hopeless romantic in me would go for Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro V, but realistically, I would probably book Zayn vs. Adrian Neville for the NXT Championship. Basically, I want Sami Zayn at WrestleMania in an honest to God match.

Wrestling Culture co-host Dylan Hales asks what arcane wrestler, time period, or territory he should obsessively research next.

Steve Regal. No, not the English wrestler who came over, did a lot of drugs, became a Man's Man, and who is widely regarded as one of the most technically gifted wrestlers of all-time, but the dude of the same name who wrestled in the AWA and other territories in the '80s, before the other Regal came over. I want to know more about this guy, and why Bill Watts decided that he would so blatantly crib that name for his English import. Was this Steve Regal that forgettable that Watts thought no fan would care? I need to know!

@PlanetaryWren asks if I could do a HOSS RANKING for the current WWE roster.

Going WWE proper and not NXT here, just because I can.

1. ANTONIO CESARO - He's not only the strongest guy on the roster, but probably the most graceful too. DUAL THREAT HOSS.

2. BROCK LESNAR - I'll forgive getting stabbed in the hand by The Undertaker, especially since he probably got a whole crate of Jimmy Chips to heal up.

3. ROMAN REIGNS - He's so smooth, his blood type came up "SWAG" at his last Wellness checkup.

4. CORPORATE KANE - I want to know how he got so jacked. I also wanna know how he actually wrestles in wingtips and dress slacks.

5. UNDERTAKER - For a guy who only shows up for two months out of the year, he retains an awful lot of HOSSINESS.

6. BIG E LANGSTON - Sure, he might be a massive prop right now in the Real Americans break up, but he at least takes home the prize of FUNNIEST HOSS.

7. LUKE HARPER - Surprisingly articulate for a guy who hangs out with a mute in a sheep mask and Max Cady with a glandular condition.

8. JACK SWAGGER - Hey, his jacket says BIGG HOSS. Who am I to argue?

9. SHEAMUS - I would rank him higher, but for a HOSS, he bruises a little too easily, don't you think?

10. MARK HENRY - Even though he only shows up anymore as Lesnar's personal punching bag, Henry is HOSS PRIME, and leaving him off this list is NOT WHAT I DO, WHUT.

OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES. BRODUS CLAY, GREAT KHALI, BIG SHOW, ERICK ROWAN, BATISTA, JASON ALBERTS/TENSAI, TITUS O'NEIL, THE RYBACK

INCOMPLETE. ALEXANDER RUSEV - His theme song and podium-standing game are on point, but I need to see more than preening and presentation. I NEED FLESH SLAPPING AGAINST MORE FLESH, DAMMIT.

Strong Island bro @mikepankowski wants to know if I agree that the lariat is a weak finisher.

I absolutely disagree. Watch Stan Hansen do a Western Lariat. Even JBL's Clothesline from Hell looked devastating. Hell, the most over finisher in NJPW and maybe the most popular non-WWE finisher in the world is the Rainmaker, which is a ripcord short-arm clothesline that looks absolutely stellar when done right. I know Adam Rose may not have the best lariat right now, but he'll grow into it. Don't judge all clotheslines by his right now.

CZW bro @RealRobPandola wants me to play some Genesis.


@Jason_DeFarge wants to know what the best way to get heels over on purpose is in WWE in the PG era.

Discussing fan psychology is always tricky because trying to discern whether entire crowds are making the noise or just a really vocal minority is a pain in the keyster. I'm sure some folks get legitimate heel heat nowadays. Damien Sandow got a lot of heat for his Money in the Bank shenanigans, but he seems exception rather than rule. Maybe meta storytelling is the wave of the future, or maybe WWE is getting closer and closer to the point where it can present characters for consumption the way NASCAR or UFC do out of necessity. No more heels or faces, but wrestlers of varying fanbase sizes.

Noted anteater @Enrico_Palazzo_ asks why WWE just doesn't force JBL and Jerry Lawler to sit, A Clockwork Orange style, and watch Bobby Heenan commentary on loop for hours.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura would work too. Hell, even Jerry Lawler from the '90s might be a good substitute if his racism and sexism wasn't more overt and accepted. Anyway, if the rumors are true, Vince McMahon is to blame for the obnoxiousness in the booth. Apparently, JBL amuses him, and Lawler right now seems to have as much will not to follow the leader as Wimpy when his nose catches the scent of hamburgers. The best hope for the future is that the way Triple H runs NXT will be the way he runs WWE when he gets his hands on it.

Kayfabermetrics head bee guy Matthew Timmons asks if The Shield could split amicably to preserve the option of future team-ups.

Well, Razor from Kick-Out Wrestling had the idea that The Shield should be like The Avengers. That kind of comic storytelling would actually feel innovative for WWE, although they dabbled in it during the Attitude Era. D-Generation X went in diaspora for awhile, but when Triple H made the call for them to get back together, they reassembled. Do I trust WWE to do the same with The Shield? Not particularly, but I do think it could work.

Published author and auteur of The Only Way Is SuplexCarrie Dunn wants me to pick the next Divas Champion with one wrestler on the roster and one off it.

I will parse this question down even further and choose a current WWE roster member, a current NXT roster member, and someone from outside WWE. From within the main roster, I would choose Nattie Neidhart. The Divas Division seems to have been built around her as a mascot since Total Divas started, and to be completely fair, Vince McMahon owes her a solid after that whole farting gimmick. Seriously, how shameful was that? My NXT choice would be Bayley, who is the most natural babyface down there and who would have a money feud with AJ Lee, of course if WWE allowed women to have killer feuds over things that aren't boys or being jealous. From outside of the company, I would go with Athena. Again, I'm not sure WWE would let Athena and Lee have the match they could and should have, but I'm an idealistic shithead, so yeah.

@KolonelKayfabe wants to know what I think will be the main event of the first Chikara show.

The money match is going to pit Icarus vs. Jimmy Jacobs, but I doubt Chikara would blow that wad right away on the return card. In the past, the company would stack the lower parts of the card with feud matches and then put a fun match in the main event in the early stages of a big story. Then again, the "old" Chikara seems to be in the past at worst and a hand-me-down to Wrestling Is Fun! at best (see: TWGP). If they go with prior standard operating procedures, I would project a trios match in the main event, The Colony (Fire, Green, and assail/Worker Ants) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald). If they decide to have a showdown-style match that ties into the big feud, I would project Jacobs, Qefka the Quiet, Ares, Fake Tursas, and Dr. Cube vs. Icarus, UltraMantis Black, and the Colony.

The wild card, however? A Grand Championship match. If gold is on the line, then I would project Kingston to defend against Icarus in a rematch.

@fairbeezy asks if I think anyone could pull off the shooter/amateur badass gimmick in 2014.

TO be honest, I don't think "shooter" is a gimmick that has legs by itself. What is that wrestler going to do, talk about how he/she trains all the time? Wrestling isn't about winning and losing so much as it's about character development and storytelling. A shooter as an in-ring style would be great, but the best way for it to work in 2014 would be the way Kurt Angle's early career played out.

@Doc_Ruiz2012 asks if Xavier Woods were a Rocky character, how quickly would he lose.

I'm sure you were tickled pink to see Xavier Woods refer to himself as the dude who died in the beginning of Rocky IV in the face of Rusev's Ivan Drago.

Stanford athletics booster @ajuarez_thatSID wants my breakdown of Vince McMahon's play-by-play announcing.

McMahon was not the best play-by-play announcer ever. He didn't know the names of any moves, and he seemed wooden at times. However, he brought two things that are supremely important for any wrestling announcer to the table. He was enthusiastic, sometimes to a fault, and he had rapport with his announcers, whether they were Ventura, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, or Bobby Heenan. He always tried to put over the importance of the story, and even if he didn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch, he was a valuable addition to the old school WWF announce booth.

Resident burger scion @georgemucus asks what pay-per-view event through the Network so far has surprised me the most with how well or poorly it aged.

I've only watched three events so far - I'm a busy man - but I'd have to say all three of them looked like they aged pretty well. Starrcade '83, WrestleMania I, and the first Royal Rumble all felt like modern wrestling events even with their stylistic anachronisms like primitive finishing moves and the use of promos to build matches instead of recap spam. I don't know whether wrestling is just an unchanging art that requires little change in the actual nuts and bolts (as opposed to distribution methods, which have changed for the better like wildfire in the last 30 years), or whether wrestling just has held itself back out of promoter inertia, but on the mainstream level at least, a wrestling show from the mid '80s is just as likely to entertain as one from the last five years.

TWB Royal Rumble statistician and co-author of Irresistible vs. ImmovableScott T. Holland asks if a wrestler's name-chantability is important and if not, whether he needs a catchphrase.

The question on Twitter was couched in Antonio Cesaro and his problematic "WE THE PEOPLE" chants, but the thing about all that is "Cesaro" lends itself to great, harmonic chanting. Seriously, three syllables, all of which flow together. That name was MADE for chanting. I think having a great name is part and parcel of being a great babyface, but then again, in the post-modern WWE, alignment really isn't mattering as much as it has historically. So yeah, I approve of everyone having a readily chantable name, especially in lieu of slightly racist at worst and xenophobic at best chants like "We the People."

@DasNordlicht91 wants to know my thoughts on DRASTIC character changes within WWE like Leo Kruger->Adam Rose and Husky Harris->Bray Wyatt.

WWE taking a character within its own canon and totally making it over might seem drastic, but the company has been doing it for years. The main difference is that Tony Atlas and Mike Rotunda had time to go to other territories before being reborn as Saba Simba and Irwin R. Schyster. Now that WWE really is the only game in town when it comes to the mainstream, its drastic rebranding of characters seems a bit more extreme. However, the examples listed in the question are both fantastic. In Rose's case, his change was a slight incline from the already-awesome Kruger character. But going from Harris to Wyatt? That move was the very definition of a game-changer. Husky Harris wasn't getting out of developmental. Bray Wyatt will headline multiple WrestleManias.

With Leather bloglord Brandon Stroud wants me to rank the Rosebuds.

1. KALISTO THE LIGHT STICK RAVER - Anyone who reminds me of the halcyon days when I would religiously check back to Homestar Runner for Strong Bad e-mails is alright by me. In fact, he was a lightswitch and knockoff Pikachu cosplay away from literally becoming The Cheat.

2. DUDE IN THE BLACK GREEN-MAN GET UP - Seriously, any callback to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a winner with me.

3. THAT OLEG THE USURPER LOOKING DUDE WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE BOUNCER - I would have ranked him #1 if he had an axe.

4. WHITE ODDJOB - Bowler hats are in, though.

5. ALEXA BLISS ALL PAINTED UP AND SUCH - She made me wistful for Daizee Haze for a second with her makeup. Also, her mom looks like her sister. SERIOUSLY.

6. SIMON GOTCH AS WHERE'S WALDO - Oh, there he is.

7. DJ SOLOMON CROWE - I would rank him higher, but he didn't shut down the NXT Arena from his iPad. COMMIT TO THE GIMMICK, SON.

8. EVERYONE ELSE - Honestly, I really should have ranked all the Rosebuds tied for first because they look like they are having so much goddamn fun. I wanna be a Rosebud.

Dirty Dirty Sheets site photographer Gregory Davis went to the Milwaukee Ring of Honor show and noted that Matt Taven's main event status had the crowd asking for shots. He wants my thoughts on this.

Depends, was the crowd asking for shots because Taven cheerled them into wanting it, or did they want shots because Taven was in the main event and wanted to get the experience wiped from their minds? I keed, I keed, from what I've seen from him, I've liked him enough.

Wrestle-fan librarian @LanceGarrison asks which wrestlers' legacies will be hurt and helped the most by the availability of archives on The Network.

Depending on how available WWE will make footage from Garden tapings, I imagine the wrestler who might be hurt the most is Bruno Sammartino. A lot of the aura surrounding him to newer fans might come from the talking points about how he was a huge draw at Madison Square Garden and all that, but from what I've heard, he was actually quite plodding and slow as a wrestler. I wonder if his perception will drop as more and more matches of his come to ready availability. As for those who may be helped, a bunch of midcard guys from both NWA and WWF could end up getting boosts in reputation. I imagine Greg Valentine, Ken Patera, and even Tito Santana might get boosts with newer fans. However, as for the guy I think could get the most shine, Bam Bam Bigelow might be your man. In my experience, Bigelow is universally respected as one of the first true hosses of the modern era. He may end up being seen in Vader territory with all the footage being released. He put in work across all three major promotions of the '90s, and with the trends towards appreciating bigger wrestlers, I think he might stand to gain the most in terms of notoriety.

Stephen T. Stone of the Complete Shot Blog asks how I'd book Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan.

I'm going to let @FalseUnderdog handle this (Seriously, follow him, he's cool):

Only acceptable booking for Bryan/HHH at WM: HHH laughs, smooches Steph, turns around into the Knee-Plus, gets beat in 18 seconds. Fin.
— Scar (@FalseUnderdog) March 4, 2014

Cole Hamels enthusiast @PhilaBCoulter asks if I think Michael Cole has been less annoying lately and why.

Cole's never really been that bad except when he was told to be the obnoxious bad guy play-by-play announcer. Sure, he can irritate with his shilling, but even when he's been distracted the most by JBL. For example, last night on Smackdown, he dropped a "that's not how I remember it" after Batista's white-washing of the events on RAW. That single phrase reminded me so much of when McMahon or Gorilla Monsoon would act as the voice of reason when a bad guy or Ventura/Heenan would try to spin an event in their favor. The problem isn't Cole.

Posterior connoisseur @GayWrestlingFan wants to know how WWE should build Orton/Batista assuming a third person isn't added.

WWE experimented with a heel vs. heel build at Elimination Chamber. I don't know if they built the Wyatt Family vs. The Shield because it was a hot hand or if they wanted to test the waters and see if black hat vs. black hat could be sustainable. If I were WWE, I would totally build up Orton and Batista as the most unlikeable people ever and let the match be an utter shitshow. Bryan/Trips, Lesnar/Taker, and Cena/Wyatt are gonna have way more heat anyway. Regardless of who wins, both guys would then be in the position of being in Trips' doghouse to the point where he has no choice but to give the guy who kneed him in the face at Mania the next shot at the title.

@TheEnforcer4 asks who rules the world.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Official WRESTLEGASM sidekick Andrew Southern wants my top five alliterative wrestler names.

A lot of rankings this week. No explanations for this list, however.

1. BASTIAN BOOGER
2. DAMIEN DEMENTO
3. BIG BULLY BUSICK
4. DUKE "THE DUMPSTER" DROESE
5. BAM BAM BIGELOW

Yes, I skew towards the early '90s WWF, but no one can say they didn't do at least one thing right.

Assuming transportation and money aren't issues, Arizona Wildcat @JohnJohnPhenom asks me to pick two events from the following list: Extreme Rules, the ROH/NJPW Manhattan show, the EVOLVE NYC doubleshot, and the Chikara comeback show.

The Chikara comeback show is a given, because it's my favorite promotion making its grand return after almost a year away. The second pick is now among the two EVOLVE shows, the ROH/NJPW show, and Extreme Rules. EVOLVE is out because I doubt either show will be anything different than the milquetoast bullshit Gabe Sapolsky is famous for. The wrestling will be good, sure. However, two things are in play. First, I could go to ANY Gabe-promoted show and see something roughly similar to what will happen at the next doubleshot. Why should I forsake the Chikara return, ROH co-promoting show with the second biggest promotion in the world, or the WWE pay-per-view most likely to have my favorite wrestler right now winning the biggest prize possible?

The second show is now left to a choice between Extreme Rules and the NJPW Invasion show. The pros for going to see Extreme Rules would be that I'll be able to see Daniel Bryan either win or defend the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in a packed house with 20,000 like-minded people screaming YES! YES! YES! The cons would be that I can get a far better view at home on the WWE Network, and that if he wins the title at Mania, the moment is decreased a bit. The pros for the ROH show is that not every day does NJPW send its top stars over to ANY promotion to co-mingle with another company's top wrestlers in a circus special attraction. The cons are that I haven't watched enough NJPW lately to know if I even like its in-ring product. With all the cards on the table though, I think I'd have to choose the ROH show. Again, I have The Network, and I get the feeling Bryan is being inserted into the title match at Mania, whether ahead of time or at the last minute. What better way for me to get my first real taste of New Japan than by seeing their stars up close and personal.

Wrestling on Earth co-conspirator @typicalROHfan asks where one could get a good cheesesteak around 30th Street Station or University City.

The wonderful thing about Philadelphia is that a good cheesesteak is probably no further than a stone's throw away. Many of the locals and students who go to Drexel University or the University of Penn will say that Abner's, located on Chestnut Street one storefront down from 38th, has the best. I've had one of its cheesesteaks a long time ago, and I thought it was above average, but not excellent. Then again, I've only had one while I was in college. A lot of things could have changed, so I would say start there.

But my late nights at the Drexel Triangle office have given me an affinity for two others in the area. One of the perks of working on a newspaper that sold ad space was that we had deals with several local pizzerias where we'd offer them block space in exchange for a weekly allowance of food. The first is Ed's Pizza and Wings, which is found on the 3500 block of Lancaster Ave., right up the street from Drexel. The second is Allegro Pizza at 40th and Spruce on Penn's campus. Both had cheesesteaks that fit the bill.

However, if you are on campus early enough for the food trucks to be open, you might want to try one from any number of the greasers that line the internal street on Drexel's grounds. If you head up Market Street, right past 31st, and hang a left on the pedestrian walkway right after the entrance to the first of Drexel's engineering buildings, you can see all the trucks lining up. I lived off those cheesesteaks when I had money and wasn't at the paper office.

The point here? Good cheesesteaks are everywhere. Just don't ever go to Pat's or Geno's. Ever.

Finally, Renee Young Fan Club President @brandon120 wants to know what I think will happen with True Detective since Matthew McConaughey won't be back for season two.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I haven't watched an episode of TD this season, although I may go back and binge-watch it. So my take on the whole thing might seem uninformed. That being said, I think the whole endgame was to have a self-contained miniseries and reset the pile next year. So not only will McConaughey not be returning, but Woody Harrelson isn't going to be back either. Tonight marks the finale of this first season, so I would expect some kind of permanent resolution. I heard that the showrunners are going to get more of a female presence in the protagonists' roles. Hopefully, the show won't take a patronizing turn like that awful-looking Killer Women show ABC tried to peddle.

You either lose close to the top-shelf talent, or you win a lot. These are generally the acceptable ways to make a wrestler. Being who he is, Sami Zayn seems to be transitioning out of the former and into the latter.

If there was any doubt NXT was the Bizarro World WWE, let this week's post-Arrival episode wipe that from your mind. Corey Graves was standing in the middle of the ring having dispatched Yoshi Tatsu via countout in a fine display of douched-out smuggery before locking on a pointless Lucky XIII, drawing out Sami Zayn for the save. But before the "match" had gotten underway, Graves decided the squared circle was a butcher's, and thus the place to unload his beef. He was frosty that he wasn't on the showcase Network-per-view show last week. Moreover, why didn't he get the chances that certain ginger high-flyers got? Why was Sami Zayn getting all these accolades for fighting a man he couldn't beat? And when's the last time this Syrian-Canucklehead won a match?

Leaving the hilarity aside of his misguided belief that he could beat Cesaro (thus furthering the slow-burning face turn of the latter and furthering the heel-deludes-himself-into-thinking-he's-a-valedictorian-when-he's-pulling-down-solid-B-pluses of the Pittsburghian), he raised a good point. To my mind, three Sami wins came up in his celebrated NXT run, and two were against Curt Hawkins and the other was the opening night surprise rollup on the Boss of the World. So there was a simply way to remedy that: shut up Corey Graves and make him stay down for a change. Sami changed out of his Against Me! shirt (sweet irony) and won in the evening's main event, though even this was some work that made the formerly floundering Graves look like a bigger threat than he has since his alignment switch back to the dark hats.

Zayn had to keep working at small package counters until one stuck, and before that found himself getting chop-blocked and getting body blows rained down upon him. While he got to pull off the sweet split-legged Arabian moonsault feint he'd shown against Jack Swagger Sami spent most of the match in defense, which was fine. But something in Graves' eyes suggested this was the opening paragraph of a novel rather than the denouement, and if we're killing time until the rubber match between past and former NXT Champs, Graves can do worse by anyone by putting in ring time against the aerialist, and Sami can build up his resume to go after the Big X by beating Mr. Knucks Up on a few occasions.

And as for the NXT Championship, the show started off with Adrian Neville proudly toting it to the ring for a showcase against Camacho. The outcome was never in doubt, obviously; it started off with the Champ's snazzy new $6,000,000 Man/check-out-the-Red-Arrow-in-slo-mo video and his challenger in the ring. It wasn't a matter of if but when the Arrow would go in flight live, and it did after the barriorista put in a couple moves and showed his unwillingness to adhere to the Code of Honor. Regal noted that as Champion, Neville would now have to forget about the idea of having friends, no matter how strongly John Cena put him over to start the show in the recap footage unseen from after Arrival last week but shown here for further establishing bona fides.

Post-match, Renee got a few words with the Englishman, who noted his cruiserweight status, big accent from a little British town, and referred to himself as a "crazy elf man" by way of look. For such a self-deprecating promo it was sure hard to tell from the crowd's reaction, as all these identifiers got pops. Unfortunately, the crowd ruined their own moment: if you chant No Mo Bo three times or more, the man himself is going to appear. That's just science. While Dallas complemented Neville on his victory he was quick to smilingly back-hand it by stating he wasn't pinned and Neville got up a ladder like a dad up to clean the gutters. So there's going to be a rematch. We just don't know when yet.

That's opposed to the two arrivals we got incongruously enough on this week's show, as Charlotte put her first win on the board against Emma, and this Adam Rose character showed up to beat a cowboy in his debut match (note: Leo Kruger apparently died on the way back to his home planet).

For the newly christened dirtiest diva in the game, it was pretty simple: WWE suddenly remembered they had a Flair on their hands, and worked her accordingly. In addition, her pops showed up to be the most decorated stage mom this side of Mommie Dearest, and backed up his daughter's seemingly delusional belief that with Emma having lost her rematch that she was the next one in line to get a shot at Paige and the Women's belt. Rhinoplasty via a mandatory invite to a knee strike party doesn't sound that fun, but then again, it's not my face. So when the Flairs got in Emma's face after her narrow loss last week, it set the stage for what came.

(Mandatory Young Regality Ship At Full Sail paragraph: watching Renee steal all of Regal's old flirts after sighing contentedly and giving out a dreamy sigh before shaking only his hand and then eyebrow raising the camera right before they panned away to Emma's entrance...why is Renee Young better at selling than 1/3 of people on RAW? To say nothing of the future Mr. and Mrs. Lordship both doing the Emma Dance, a contagion that spread down to Eden in the ring and the referee for two beats before he realized he had to maintain impartiality for the sake of the sport...is it too early to call NXT the Show of the Year 2014 for this 45 seconds alone or are we going to keep pretending?)

With Sasha by her side, Charlotte did well enough in fighting Emma to a standstill for a bit, even if the crowd was more into getting into Banks' skin or cheering for Emma than doing more than recognizing Charlotte's right to exist. That's when it happened: Charlotte came out of the corner on a counter and landed awkwardly on her leg. Emma went in for the pinfall, but Charlotte sold the leg like it'd been rolled over by the landing, even drawing concern from Sasha. Everybody else's concerns concerned Emma, and she was worried over Charlotte and outside of her little bubble. If only she hadn't noticed Sasha on the apron being concerned; one Throwback later Charlotte'd picked up the biggest win of her career and Emma was sad and frustrated in the middle of the ring having learned the hard way evil will always overcome good because good is dumb. Oh, sure, she'll probably get her face kneed in stepping to Paige, but the Champion winning by Neville-over-Camachoesque fiat is no longer the fait accompli it would've seemed even in February.

And what more needs to be said about Adam Rose at this point besides all of his fans should get free sleds? Well, let's say this: if he is no longer on the hunt, perhaps he wants to eschew that spinebuster and/or drop or severly improve that clothesline. The Thorn instead of the Slice, mayhaps. But the rolling one-man Mardi Gras who needs to arrive at the Greek had the fans chanting this was awesome before anything had even happened, his theme music makes you want to drink and start a kicky chorus line, and his pratfalls-into-offense recalled some of the best aspects of lucha libre and the Great Muta circa '89. Also, if the Twitter is to believed and his first feud comes against Tyler Breeze (Rose's dander, appropriately enough, only came up after he got punched in the face), you will not get a recap of that match but 14 pictures of unicorns making out under a rainbow, and you will like it.

While it'd be nice if Solomon Crowe stuck to his job and stopped doing mine, the necessary recovery show after last week's triumphant decampment at the fireworks factory did what it was supposed to do, and what NXT will be making its bread and butter on for non mega events: character establishment, usually supported by putting dubs on the board.

I'm still pouring out a little liquor for Kru, tho.

Sandow is the poster child for how unimportant the Money in the Bank pay-per-view is in WWE's grand scheme Photo Credit: WWE.com

Bill Simmons and David Shoemaker recently collaborated on an article for Grantland about the WWE Network and its impact on the wrestling landscape. The piece has gotten mixed reviews, but a lot of the fire it has come under stemmed from the claim that Money in the Bank has become an event that is on the same or greater magnitude than SummerSlam and the Royal Rumble. Many of the traditionalists have blasted this opinion under the auspices of its buyrate trend. I'm not one to nitpick financial details here, but even I know that the event is, at the very best, at the vanguard of the B-event lot.

I am willing to give the duo the benefit of the doubt as to their intent on the statement. Discussion as to whether Money in the Bank has become the most important part of WWE's culture outside of WrestleMania and the primary star furnace is far more worthwhile, but even then, the claim needs quite a bit of scrutiny in order to pass various smell tests. On the surface, the briefcase seems to be a fine mechanism for elevation, but ever since CM Punk last won the briefcase at the penultimate WrestleMania free-for-all, who has really benefitted from a true, honest-to-God push into the main event? I'm going to examine each winner and see where their careers have gone since winning the briefcase.

Jack Swagger - Swagger won the final Money in the Bank match contested at WrestleMania, cashed his briefcase in in short order, and held the World Heavyweight Championship for a few months before dropping the strap to Rey Mysterio. Swagger's reign as Champion was clipped in short order, as he was not presented on the same level as the guys he who challenged him early in his reign. Randy Orton beat him in a non-title contest and then only failed in his attempt for the belt by shenanigans. The writing seemed on the wall that Swagger wasn't meant to have the full faith of WWE's machine behind him when a separate pay-per-view was announced for the match and that two briefcases, one for each "top" title, would be contested. Swagger wasn't about to be upended for his belt by the World Heavyweight Championship briefcase winner, and his initial crowd reactions were not up to snuff.

Since losing the Big Gold Belt, Swagger was sent back into competing for the secondary titles, was given Vickie Guerrero and the Swagger Soaring Eagle as managers, and finally, he was shelved for several months on an excursion to Mars. He returned with a renewed push under the tutelage of Zeb Colter, replete with a win in the Elimination Chamber and a title shot sewn up for Alberto del Rio's World Heavyweight Championship, but due to his own runnings afoul of the law and lack of connection with the crowds, he was shunted into a tag team with Antonio Cesaro. He currently looks to be the Marty Jannetty to Cesaro's Shawn Michaels. In short, Swagger has become just another guy.

The Miz - Miz seemed to be the biggest success story of the separate event era of the briefcases in terms of elevation. He got plenty of spotlight, scads of mic time, and outside of dropping the United States Championship to Daniel Bryan, he was kept strongly protected up through his cash-in, which came at the height of his crowd heat. He had a hot feud with Jerry Lawler and a program with John Cena at WrestleMania. Hell, he even kept the WWE Championship at Mania, but his match and feud with Cena are not the most remembered portions of that time period. The main reason for that?

The Rock.

Rocky came back to WWE on Valentine's Day 2011 to announce that he was to be the guest host for WrestleMania XXVII, and at that moment, The Miz became an afterthought in his own reign as Champion. He would lose the belt to Cena shortly after, but even then, he and R-Truth rebounded in the autumn to form The Awesome Truth. Their arc started out pretty hot, but it fizzled once Truth violated the Wellness Policy before a Survivor Series match with Rock and Cena. Truth wasn't suspended until after the event, but again, the story between Rock and Cena took center stage and Miz was treated very much as an afterthought. While he was never able to regain his connection with the crowd after this point, I would argue he never got the fair shake from the creative team and Vince McMahon to do so. In short, Miz became just another guy.

Kane - When Kane won the Money in the Bank briefcase, he'd already been pretty much made as much as Kane could be made. Despite a checkered career, he had already been a 14 year veteran at this point. However, if, say, Swagger had gotten the same push after his briefcase and title win that Kane did, he might have had better luck going forward.

Alberto del Rio - del Rio has been given the godfather treatment ever since he stepped foot onto the main roster of WWE. Money in the Bank was another story perk he was given in a series that included a high-profile debut feud with Mysterio and a Royal Rumble win. In a way, he's the antithesis of other briefcase winners in that WWE has built everything around him to succeed, and not a whole lot the company has done for him has worked to the levels where it would be satisfied. He seems to be on his way out the door now, but I don't think that it has much to do with effort from the creative team.

Daniel Bryan - All things considered, Daniel Bryan's time with the briefcase could have been a whole lot worse. Between Money in the Bank and the end of autumn, Bryan had lain dormant in WWE's plans at best and was actively booked poorly at worst. I understand the logic of keeping his profile low; the Hall of Pain was in full swing, and the focus of the Big Gold Belt HAD to be on Henry, not Bryan, until the time was right for him to be inserted into the story. When he was injected into the proceedings, he responded by having phenomenal matches with Henry, cashing in on Big Show at a big moment, and getting a big villainous run that involved screen time, a romantic interest, and interactions with a lot of heavy hitters within the narrative. However, if his story were to end at WrestleMania, with the infamous 18 second loss to Sheamus, Bryan's run with the briefcase and the title that followed it might have been a net negative.

Of course, he's the biggest thing since Hulkamania in WWE right now, but I doubt many people would argue that it's a direct result of the briefcase and the build with it. Rather, Bryan may be the most successful grassroots story in WWE history, where the crowd DEMANDED his elevation so loudly that WWE couldn't ignore its pleas any longer. One could argue Bryan doesn't get to that point without the briefcase, however, and I may be swayed to agree with that notion. However, his Money win and subsequent title reign were well-booked, which is more than WWE can say for most winners who weren't already established.

John Cena - Haha, right. Next.

Dolph Ziggler - Ziggler won the briefcase to great fanfare, and his cash-in the night after WrestleMania was one of the most special moments of 2013. The way he was booked between those two points was problematic at the very least. When Swagger concussed him with an errant kick shortly after his title win, his booking made many feel like he was the one being punished. After his SummerSlam match with Big E Langston ,for which the big hype segment was oddly more a homage to the Venice Beach outdoor gym than anyone involved in the contest, he was mostly forgotten about. Ziggler would be the poster child for how the briefcase means absolutely nothing without correct booking if Sandow wasn't going through his swoon right now. Ziggler is the spitting definition of "just another guy," despite the fact that live crowds cheer for him when they're not cheering for Bryan or Punk.

Randy Orton - Orton is somewhere between Cena and del Rio. In fact, I would describe del Rio as a poor man's Orton, in that the Viper has received the benefit of every tool and booking mechanism that has allowed him to succeed. That being said, his Money in the Bank briefcase win set up the current story, and the payoff doesn't so much seem to be Orton vs. Batista, but Bryan vs. Triple H. Despite Orton being the proxy for Triple H to win that match and then the title, he's turned in some of the best character work of his career after the briefcase.

Damien Sandow - Sandow grabbed the briefcase off the ladder hook and was immediately treated like a joke. His cash-in was a failure, which wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't absolutely throttled in booking afterwards. Creative just forgot about him, which is worse than even the treatment Ziggler has gotten. If Sandow gets a renewed push in the future, it will be disconnected from his briefcase win emphatically. It will have to be, because to be associated with that kind of character failing would be dooming him from the start.
--
Money in the Bank may have had checkered results for its winners since it has split off into its own pay-per-view event, thus putting a damper on Shoemaker's and Simmons' arguments that it has attained some kind of ethereal status of importance among the WWE's annual lineup. However, I don't think the event itself is some kind of failure. The briefcase can still be used as an elevation tool if the win is followed up by strong booking. Swagger, Ziggler, and Sandow were failures not because they don't have "it."

All of them, even the charismatically challenged Swagger, have proven to be good hands at the very least when they had some kind of story going for them, when they were presented as players of worth within the narrative. Bryan and Miz both attained deserved main event status with great stories, feuds, and character building, and anytime they dipped, the booking behind them lacked. Cena, Orton, and Kane all enjoyed great booking and thus were successes off their briefcase wins, whether they won the titles or not in their cash-in matches.

Regardless of whose fault the lack of luster for the event is, however, the claim that Money in the Bank is anything more than a setup for SummerSlam at this point is wishful thinking at best. The matches are exciting, and the show has had at least one signature moment that was actually independent of anything involving either ladder match, but right now, WWE has a lot of work to do in order to make the prestige of the event match the grandiose claims laid at its door, whether financially or more importantly, artistically.