Paige's exposure in NXT has helped her hot reaction so far Photo Credit: WWE.com

When NXT jumped from the realm of local television and Hulu to WWE Network, whispers of doubt started to spread around. NXT worked as a developmental territory because it had remained sheltered for so long, and if fans are able to watch wrestlers before they make it to the main roster, they might lose some of their aura, their surprise factor. I didn't necessarily agree with the take, but I saw from where those doubts and fears were coming until recently.

Paige has already made her main-roster debut, and both Bo Dallas and Adam Rose are about to make theirs within the coming weeks. All three are known entities from NXT, even if Rose spent most of his developmental life under another name with two completely different characters before his current, Aldous Snow homage took hold, which means a good portion of the Full Sail/Hulu crowd knows who they are and are familiar with them. I credit Paige's excellent reaction to a rather milquetoast and timid debut (even with winning the title) to the post-Mania crowd being full of those scions, and I doubt the sustenance of that crowd heat the next week was attributed to the crowd aping what it had heard the week before. Paige already got to show how awesome she was on a live stage, and NXT ArRIVAL kicked that streak into fuller gear.

I predict similar initial successes for both Rose and Dallas, and for wrestlers like Tyler Breeze, Enzo Amore, and especially Sami Zayn when they finally get to the main roster. They will have been seen by starter audience, one made wider by making NXT available on The Network, and thus they will have the most vocal part of the crowd, the part that has willed Daniel Bryan to the main event of WrestleMania and beyond, by their side. The benefits of airing WWE Network are already paying off, and I would be shocked if the benefits ceased in the immediate future.

Things like aura and mystique are intangibles and are subjective from person to person and case to case. Surprise factor in wrestling, or in any form of media, is vastly overrated. Vince Russo's booking patterns in both WWE and WCW prove that statement to me. If I were WWE's director of personnel, I would rather put my faith in wider distribution than by trying to snow the crowd with a surprise. You can count the number of viewers more easily than you can gauge individual fans' levels of "mystique." Right now, nearly 700K people can tune into NXT and watch it as it runs first, and people are already making the show appointment viewing on Thursday nights.

Many improvements in developmental have made the current operation in Florida more successful than when it was based around the country, most notably in Ohio Valley Wrestling. The Performance Center, the current training staff, and the caliber of performer brought in have a lot to do with the better success rate of transitioning rookies and trainees into viable WWE superstars. However, a piece of that success has to be dedicated to the increase in exposure that WWE has placed on these wrestlers while they still toiled in developmental. As that exposure continues to increase, I expect the results to get better and better, bearing out that maybe hard numbers and analysis have a place in wrestling operations other than microanalyzing financial numbers or worrying about ratings.

Those numbers favor letting more and more people see NXT and other potential future developmental promotions. The more eyes a performer has on him or her, the better a sample size is for future success. Paige, Rose, and Dallas all have been among the hottest wrestlers in NXT both in the short term (Rose) and long (Dallas and Paige). Allowing a looking in view during their formative years allows the tastemakers in WWE crowds to get advanced word and make trends. That kind of spark is invaluable for any promoter, let alone the largest one in the world.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Via WWE.com

Regardless of how one feels about Warrior the person, I can't at any juncture feel anything but sorrow and empathy for the people he left behind on this earth. Among the people who survive him are his mother, two young daughters, and his wife. Dana Warrior took the opportunity to write a thank-you to the fans and a memorial about her husband, one that warms the heart and elicits a tear from the eye. No matter what you might think of Warrior, I honestly believe you'd have to have a heart of stone not to feel something for his family, especially after reading what Dana had to write.

Dearest Warriors,

It is with an absolutely broken heart I reach out to you. Since the passing of my husband, I have been fortunate enough to insulate my sweet girls and myself from the outside world. In this bubble we have grieved and continue to do so. For a week, I did not allow any television or media to seep through our cocoon. I was told, though, of the outpouring of love for my beloved husband and support for, as he always called us, his Warrior Girls. I can only say thank you.

On Sunday night, I was told WWE would pay tribute to Warrior and so I set the DVR planning to watch it when we were ready. As the hour neared, I broke resolve and turned on every TV in the house to full blast and snuggled our daughters close to me on the couch, unsure what we would see. As the scene unfolded with that amazing roster of talent gathered donning Ultimate Warrior shirts and even his face paint, we cheered and sobbed simultaneously. To everyone who stood there, thank you. My girls will remember your bowed heads for the rest of their lives. You are not just Superstars; you are super people.

I cannot put words to what that video tribute meant. We watched it multiple times and, this morning, it was how I started my day; mornings are the hardest for me. I will treasure that song and those images more than anything I own. Vindication. ULTIMATE PERFECTION.

I was told it was reported WWE was "there" for us. "There" is the understatement of a lifetime. They were a warm blanket to us three and we were quickly absorbed into their family. Words are cheap; promises are forever. This family is one I'm honored to be a member of and will gladly be the warm blanket to any of them who need me next.

My husband's speech had so many highlights for me as I sat proudly in the audience looking on at his moment ... I most loved his request for the Hall of Fame to include the, as he called them, "true Superstars," those behind-the-scenes people who make the machine run. See, I'm the person who puts up the ring in our house. I'm the background person who makes things happen seamlessly. I am surrounded by performers in my husband and children, so I felt a kinship with all the people he wanted to shine a spotlight upon who make WWE work. He loved you all, and knew that each of you made his run there possible. Thank you!

To all the ULTIMATE WARRIOR fans: THANK YOU!! He told me when he shook the ropes it was him gathering strength from each of you. Warrior respected you and loved you as do the girls and I. I will reach out to the ropes for your strength to sustain me in the sad days that the girls and I face. UNWAVERING is what you've been. GRATEFUL is what we are.

The Undertaker and I have a lot more in common than you might think. You see, I had a bit of a streak of my own going for the last 20 years. Yes, Warrior and I would have matches of our own ... He would yell, I would cry, he would submit, I would win - always. My quivering chin and "pooched" lip was always more powerful than any clothesline or gorilla press slam. He'd laugh and shake his head and say,"you win, Pooch," but really we both did.

My streak was broken April 8, 2014 when he collapsed. I fought and screamed and cried for him not to leave me, but I wasn't to win this round. Heaven won and I lost, but I had the ULTIMATE love for 20 years and my children learned to be Warriors from THE ULTIMATE DAD. I wouldn't trade a moment of the life we shared, good or bad, for anything on God's green earth. He is the love of my life and gave me the gift of our beautiful, sweet, amazing girls. He was loyal and kind and strong and brave. He taught me to live by his creed,"Live Strong, Act Bold, Be Brave. Nothing's too hard to do, ALWAYS BELIEVE," and with that creed I will carry on and make him proud.

Streaks are broken but legends live forever.

Always Believe,

Dana A. Warrior

Being an awful misogynist to her doesn't help Photo via IMDB

Nancy Grace made a lot of enemies in the wrestling world when she hurled a lot of misinformation at her viewers regarding the death of Warrior last week. Obviously, she would end up receiving a lot of backlash, and most of it was deserved. If one wants to shed light on a topic, that person would be best served to do research beforehand not lump in folks who died of stomach cancer, car accidents, and on-screen deaths due to corporate negligence as part of the growing drug problem within wrestling. However, since the time of her ill-advised report, I've seen a lot of terrible, unnecessarily misogynist backlash directed at her.

Calling Grace out on her misinformation is correct and should be done. But some folks decided to stoop to the levels of body-shaming her. Others decided they would reduce her to a person whose worth was tied to sex. Still others I've seen around the Twitters thought it great to call her the c-word, but only after saying she really, really deserved that title unlike other women.

Driving the narrative to such base levels steeped in blasting the commentator for who she is rather than what she said not only takes attention away from her misinformation, but it's why wrestlers and fans can't have nice things. Grace's looks, sex appeal, and gender have as much to do with her report as the hair on my back, but women today still have to face those barriers before they can be taken seriously in discussion. Furthermore, the base, sexist behavior of folks who use those tactics to attack Grace end up taking attention off her misinformation and onto them when they're called out for ugly behavior.

Men, by and large, don't have to face this kind of off-topic bashing. Colin Cowherd gets called an idiot for the things he says, but his looks are not belittled on the level that Grace's are, and no one is saying that he's not to be taken seriously because he's undesirable in the bedroom. That double standard is fucked up beyond all recognition. The promoters aren't the only misogynists in wrestling, it seems.

Grace tackled a real problem in wrestling with all the dignity and respect as a creationist trying to come at Neil deGrasse Tyson for Cosmos. She needs to be corrected so that she can actually help alleviate the drug problem wrestlers tend to have, but going after her for reasons that don't have a goddamn thing to do with her platform not only takes attention away from the issue, but it further mollifies her distaste for the industry. It will keep her cycle of ignorance going because the outcry against her is so virulent that she doesn't see the art as being worth respecting.

So if you're among the people who want to call her a c***, don't. Don't body-shame her or even mention sex. And certainly don't say she doesn't have the right to commentate because of her gender. If you want to do any of that, you are the fucking problem, full stop.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Via ROH's Site

Ring of Honor, a company beleaguered by its issues broadcasting live events via Internet pay-per-view, has announced it will return to the traditional PPV model for Best in the World 2014. The event will be held at the Nashville Fairgrounds on Sunday, June 22, and the event will begin live at 8 PM. The press release said nothing as to availability on iPPV. ROH recently announced a return to that medium via Ustream. ROH did traditional PPV starting in 2008, but the events were always taped at an earlier date before release to public.

This announcement's timing is curious. Just as WWE, the market leader in pro wrestling pay-per-view, started its mass exodus from the platform, ROH decided to dive back in. However, I see some logic behind the move. The company's history with iPPV has been atrocious, causing it to recoil away from doing live broadcasts of any kind. The company has not only fallen behind WWE and TNA in terms of live distribution, but other promotions like Dragon Gate USA, Chikara, and even localized companies like Squared Circle Wrestling in Upstate New York have leaned on iPPV to varying degrees of success. Will the move to traditional PPV be a fallback or supplement, or will ROH look to move away from the Internet altogether? I hope that the former is the case, because if ROH has to abandon Internet broadcast, then a company known for innovation will end up lagging behind the pack.

The Mean Street Posse, Shane McMahon's childhood friends from the hard streets of Greenwich, CT, were a walking punchline. However, they were damn good at being the butt of the joke during the Attitude Era. However, their careers were not without glory. WrestleMania 2000, the infamous Hardcore Championship Battle Royale, saw two of the three members win the Championship for a grand total of a minute combined. Rodney pinned Funaki and was immediately turned upon by Joey Abs, who won the title shortly after before dropping it to Headbanger Thrasher. Where was Pete Gas during all this? Well, although he'd win the Hardcore Championship in his own right twice, he was playing the good soldier here and keeping the drones from descending on his buddies. Way to take one for the team, Pete!


This week's entry was inspired by @trilotto. I kinda feel bad since he mentioned Pete Gas specifically, but hey, you can only work with what you're given, eh?

Steen will have his hands full with Alex Shelley tonight Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Welcome to Pick Three, a new feature here that will preview three of the best wrestling shows this weekend. As always, these shows aren't the only ones going on, but they're the best in my view, the ones to which you should pay attention if you will.

GOLD - 2CW Living on the Edge IX

Squared Circle Wrestling's signature event, Living on the Edge, is live on Internet pay-per-view this year, and so far, the card looks like one of the most loaded yet surreal of the year. 2CW's ethos reminds me of Pro Wrestling Syndicate in how the matches are put together, but it has far less of a scuzz factor and more of a local charm. The company has experimented with iPPV in the past, only it offered shows for free as both a sign of goodwill and a test of its systems. Now, the show will be offered for a fee. As an aside, the way 2CW eased into iPPV is probably the best way to go. Wrestling Is Fun! used a similar approach as well.

The main event is a unique-sounding concept, a "Captain's Challenge" match for the 2CW Heavyweight Championship. Capt. Nick Ando will defend against former Champ Isys Ephex, Supercop Dick Justice, Gregory Iron, Colin Delaney, and Dalton Castle. The match ends either when the Champion is pinned or when he's the last one let standing. Ando is at a distinct disadvantage here, which makes me think he'll survive by the hairs on his chinny-chin-chin, of which he has many.

The title may be the main event here, but a trio of dream matches anchor this show. First up, the team of Mikey Whipwreck and Yoshihiro Tajiri will reunite and greet AR Fox and Rich Swann in tag team battle. Both Whipwreck and Tajiri represent the old guard of smaller indie spot guys. I will be interested to see how this match is structured though, since both former ECW wrestlers have segued from their high octane styles into more cerebral ring games, making this match an apparent clash of styles. The second match pits Johnny Gargano against AJ Styles. Styles has made the rounds since being released from TNA, but he hasn't really hit up the Dragon Gate USA talents yet. Finally, Kevin Steen will take on Alex Shelley. Steen has wrestled nearly everyone. I'm not sure if he's ever wrestled Shelley before, but the Motor City Machine Gun has spent a lot of his tenure recently splitting time in New Japan. I wonder how fundamentally his time there changed his style. Either way, I wouldn't be surprised if this match was the best on the card.

Those four matches don't even comprise half the card. This show will be jam-packed as most 2CW shows are wont to be. If you're in the area, head to the Fairgrounds Arena in Watertown, NY at 6 PM tonight when the doors open. If you would like to order, click here, sign up for an account, and lay your money on the line.

SILVER - SHINE 18

SHIMMER weekends tend to be the pinnacle of the half-year for women's wrestling, but they are often only the beginning of an extended period when the ladies continue to take center stage. SHINE 18 looks to keep that momentum rolling with another huge card on the horizon. In addition to SHINE's normal roster, the various imports from Europe and Oceania stick around to make the pot just a little sweeter.

The main event will pit Ivelisse Velez and her SHINE Championship against the one-woman hurricane known as Sweet Saraya Knight. Knight is no stranger to gold on American soil; she did have a lengthy reign with the SHIMMER Championship up until Mania weekend last year. She also has upped her evil ante exponentially by murdering Pegaboo in cold blood last weekend. And if the threat of Knight's oncoming storm isn't scary enough, Velez still has the spectre of Valkyrie, SHINE's villainous master stable of which Velez was once a member, looming behind her back. While I do think the Huntress will leave Tampa with her title belt, she may incur some extra bumps, bruises, and lacerations in the process.

Speaking of bodily harm, former friends turned ferocious enemies will attempt to settle their score once and for all in a Ybor City Street Fight. Jessicka Havok, the one woman death panel herself, will look finally to quash insurgence from Valkyrie's spiky-bra assassin Allysin Kay. The two have wrestled to no-contests in their prior battles, contests that left scant few survivors within the Orpheum. I fear for the safety of the Floridian peninsula with this match. In addition, New Zealand's wunderkind Evie will bring a mystery partner to challenge the Lucha Sisters of Leva Bates and Mia Yim for the SHINE Tag Team Championships. Evie came to the States with a lot of hype, and she's certainly lived up to it, and I'm glad she's getting a shot in a high profile match. Her partner is the missing piece to the puzzle. In another high-profile contest, Amazing Kong will conclude Nikki Storm's proper initiation into American wrestling culture. Storm has made quite the name for herself both in SHIMMER and AIW, but Kong, even after all these years, is still the measuring stick.

The Orpheum in Ybor City, FL will play host to this show, but you can view it on iPPV via WWN Live at 9 PM Eastern Daylight time TONIGHT.

BRONZE - NWA Smoky Mountain Cup

NWA Smoky Mountain has been doing some work in the last year to help get Tennessee back on the wrestling map. The promotion turned heads last year when it had Ricky Morton, yes, that Ricky Morton win the Smoky Mountain Cup Tournament. This year, no such venerable veterans are to be found in the tourney, but the field is stacked regardless. Additionally, the Smoky Mountain Championship, held currently by Jason "The Gift" Kincaid, will be on the line, so not only will the winner emerge with the prestigious Cup, he might also have a matching belt around his waist.

To have a chance at the Cup though, a competitor has to win a preliminary match to gain access to the finals. Six spots are open. Kincaid will wrestle Georgia wrestling phenom and TWB mancrush Fred Yehi in his qualifier. Sugar Dunkerton will participate in the tournament as well; his qualifying opponent will be Jimmy Nutts. Zac Vincent battles Ron Mathis, while Vince Brett battles Chris Richards. Finally, NWA Jr. Heavyweight Champion Chase Owens will look to punch his ticket to the final six-way fray when he takes on Facade. The six winners will then get together in an elimination match to bank not only the Smoky Mountain Cup and the promotion's Championship, but also a shot at the NWA World Championship in the future, currently held by Satoshi Kojima. A good old-fashioned War Games match will also take place. Everyone (except Vince McMahon, it seems) knows those matches are always fun.

If you want to attend, head on down to the Kingsport Civic Coliseum in Kingsport, TN. The bell-time is a special 7 PM local start on Saturday, so don't be late. The event will not air live; however, keep checking back to their Smart Mark Video On Demand page, as I'm certain this card will be available for purchase later on.

These three shows aren't the only ones happening this weekend, but they're the best bets from my view. However, if you don't live in those areas, or if you don't want to view them on iPPV where available, do some research and check out some wrestling in your area. For example, Anarchy Championship Wrestling will be running live from the Mohawk in Austin on Sunday, InterSpecies Wrestling hits up Danbury, CT tomorrow, and of course, the folks over at NWA SAW will be continuing their weekly residence tonight. Wrestling can only grow if you support it. Go out and see a show this weekend. Who knows, maybe you'll find that favorite promotion or wrestler that you didn't know you had yet.

Whom will Colter get to replace Cesaro? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to another new feature, The Polling Place. I will present some polls for y'all on the hot topics of the week. First up, after losing Antonio Cesaro from his stable to the clutches of Paul Heyman, Zeb Colter is looking for another Real American to replace his model of legal immigration. The field seems infinite for Colter to choose from, but since Heyman took Cesaro away, the most logical choice to replace Cesaro should be someone to get back at Heyman, right? That criterion places both Ryback and Curtis Axel, both unceremoniously dumped as Heyman Guys, right in the crosshairs. The other choices might not be so obvious. He could pick someone already on the roster, or more likely someone from NXT. Who will get the nod?


Next up, rumblings abound that Christopher Daniels and Kazarian, known collectively as Bad Influence, have wrestled their last matches for TNA. Both wrestlers have been mainstays for the company for a long time now, although both their affiliations have come with interruption. With any release, a certain portion of the fanbase will clamor for them to sign with WWE. Obviously, WWE is selective with whom they take from TNA, and they almost exclusively stay away from veterans of the company who haven't already appeared for them or for other companies like WCW. However, SHOULD WWE reconsider in the case of Bad Influence, especially since the company's rumored cruiserweight show could use a bit of an experienced presence?


Finally, ESPN has made overtures to sign Renee Young to an anchor position at its network. The company has taken personalities from WWE before like Jonathan Coachman and Todd Grisham. However, neither of the two has gained as much of a cult following as Young has in her tenure with WWE. The big question is how devastated would you be if she left WWE and went to ESPN?

Don't expect to see something like this in WWE for a good long while Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Anyway, time to go!

This week's first question comes via Twitter DM by fellow Drexel Triangle alumnus and former Y-Not DJ @dhpdesign asks if the Shield/Evolution feud is going to culminate in a WCW-style War Games match at Extreme Rules, and if not them and there, where would such a match happen in the future.

Well, Trips announced a straight-up trios match for Extreme Rules on Smackdown last night, so the War Games match won't happen there. I would be so bold as to say a War Games match will never happen in WWE as long as Vince McMahon is alive. Standard operating procedure in WWE has borne out that the company rarely, if ever, will want to adopt something successful in another competing promotion. The company will steal ideas from indies like Ring of Honor or foreign companies like All Japan, but to take an idea from WCW, the company that Vince McMahon with his giant penis and genius brain put out of business? Yeah, right. McMahon's got way too much unearned pride to even believe that the current world of wrestling was anything but his creation.

The current main feud on WWE programming is not the first time a War Games match has been teased. When WWE bought WCW, fans were hoping that a lot of the stars and match types would come over. War Games was the biggest thing, and its introduction into WWE was teased. Of course, the net result was the birth of the Elimination Chamber.

Now, if/when McMahon dies/becomes non compos mentis and Triple H takes over in full, then I will not only expect to see War Games, but I would be absolutely shocked if it didn't happen within a year of his takeover. But as long as Vince is running the show, nope.

@tholzerman Why are fat wrestlers so awesome?
— Sammy D (@concrete1992) April 19, 2014

Fat people in general are awesome. Fat folks like myself don't have society-sponsored "good looks" (although really, I know plenty of good lookin' fat people, society is whack), so the best among us have to compensate in areas other than appearance. As it turns out, looks are like the least important thing for critical success in pro wrestling. If no one was going to praise guys like Vader, Samoa Joe, Shinya Hashimoto, or Yokozuna for looks, then they had to be great at what they did in the ring, right? It's an evolutionary mechanism, brother.

@tholzerman I’d like to submit an early Tweetbag question, sir. Re-do the Invasion angle in a way that doesn’t totally suck.
— Dan Vecellio (@djvecellio) April 18, 2014

One, I would've shelled out the money for Goldberg, Scott Steiner, Ric Flair, Sting, and the nWo guys right from jump. Two, I would have made Flair the leader all along instead of making it yet another chapter in the McMahon Family Dick-Waving Saga. Three, Hulk Hogan would have beaten Steve Austin for the title at InVasion. Four, Booker T is protected to the point where Rock beating him for the WCW Championship at SummerSlam actually meant the first real victory for WWE. Five, Chris Jericho beats Hulk Hogan for the title at No Mercy as the climactic win for WWE. Six, the Survivor Series match for the final win and full integration of WCW into WWE goes on similarly, with Kurt Angle's double agency actually making sense this time. Seven, Chris Jericho still beats Rock and Austin in the same night to unify the titles, except his match with Austin is a preliminary tournament match, and Rock defends the WCW Championship successfully against Hogan.

And above all else, Diamond Dallas Page is NEVER a goddamn stalker.

@tholzerman What is your dream match that features Xavier Woods?
— Ian G. (@Doc_Ruiz2012) April 19, 2014

Xavier Woods is revealed to be an agent of Hydra and takes on Captain America at SummerSlam. BOOM.

@tholzerman how can WWE possibly top Hornswoggle vs El Torito?
— The Masked Mark (@justastupidmark) April 19, 2014

Of course WWE can top that match. First, in a RAW segment backstage, Torito and 'Swoggle find strange, red mushrooms with white stems and spots. Then, their announced rematch becomes Heath Slater vs. Mantaur.

@tholzerman Are the Four Horsemen direct analogues for the biblical Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse? Show your work.
— BICEP TIGER (@bradcandoit) April 19, 2014

I don't think the original group was supposed to be analogous to the riders of the Apocalypse, but I have never been one to back away from a challenge.

PESTILENCE - Ric Flair: The rider of the white horse is also known as Victory, a fabulously cloaked and appointed rider with a brilliant steed on the surface who brings sickness and disease following him. Flair rode into town in his limousine with his fabulous robes and well-coiffed hair, and when he left after beating the local hero, everyone felt sick for days.

WAR - Arn Anderson: The Enforcer brought war wherever he went. Easiest explanation ever.

FAMINE - Tully Blanchard: Blanchard doesn't represent literal famine, but he was all about going to steal your girl. Wherever Blanchard went, a famine of love was sure to follow.

DEATH - Ole Anderson: He was an ornery sumbitch who probably wished everyone was dead, so yeah, it fits.

@tholzerman Heyman guys vs Heenan Family. Who is a better recruiter and manager? How would you book one vs the other?
— Mike Lortz (@JordiScrubbings) April 19, 2014

Depends. Are you talking about Dangerous Alliance Heyman, or current "Paul Heyman Guy" incarnation? Either way, Heenan was always more about quantity, while Heyman quality. However, Heenan always got the most out of his guys. Writing off guys like Hercules and the Twin Towers (NEVER FORGET) would be far easier if Heenan wasn't managing them. And looking at the "Paul Heyman Guys" who weren't blue chippers flounder for a hold tends to give Heenan better marks as a manager. But as a recruiter, Heyman has the edge.

@tholzerman who's the worst wrestler with the best theme song? I nominate Batista.
— rowdy ryan petzar (@petzrawr) April 19, 2014

Batista's not as bad a wrestler as you think, nor is his theme song as good as you might suggest, at least in my view. If you want a really bad wrestler with a really awesome theme song? Well, the awesome theme song is this:


However, neither Brodus Clay nor Xavier Woods nor Naomi qualify (although Cameron comes close). Nope, the original wrestler with that theme song holds the honor:

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Ernest "The Cat" Miller was kind of awful, but he had a righteous theme song at least.

@tholzerman Which Peanuts Character do you resemble the most?
— #OctopiHockeytown (@sallen_87) April 19, 2014

First off, even though I don't particularly care for the Red Wings, I love that #OctopiHockeytown hashtag thingy. AWESOME PUN PLAY! I'm a bit bookish, wear glasses, have brown hair, and am somewhat of an introvert. So I'm most analogous to Marcy, aren't I?

@tholzerman Can you book a "never gonna happen in WWE" card, starting with a War Games main event?
— Star of Savage (@StarOfSavage) April 19, 2014

WAR GAMES MATCH: Evolution and Kane vs. Chris Jericho, Rob van Dam, Booker T, and Kurt Angle

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Big E Langston (c) vs. Sara del Rey

FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Abdullah the Butcher vs. New Jack

Shane Douglas vs. Jeff Jarrett

The Young Bucks vs. Bad Influence

CM Punk vs. Vince McMahon

AND FINALLY... Undertaker vs. Sting with THE STREAK ON THE LINE THAT'S RIGHT THE LOSS TO BROCK LESNAR NEVER HAPPENED

@tholzerman Will we ever see anything close to a 24/7 belt in a major American outfit again? #HardcoreChamp
— Tom Keiser (@keisertroll) April 19, 2014

I would argue that the 24/7 Championship is already being defended in a major American outfit. You just need to think a little outside the box. While no "major" American promotion hosts the title matches, I would argue few institutions in this country are bigger than Instagram. Chuck Taylor has been promoting the 24/7 title on his Instagram since August, and it's been awesome. He's been a bit slow on new defenses lately, but then again, when I least expect him to drop new heat, he's there with another video. It's been one of the most innovative things in wrestling that I've seen recently.

@tholzerman: Why do you think we don't see Hernandez more often?
— Johnny Ro (@JohnJohnPhenom) April 19, 2014

I don't know for sure, but my guess is that he's working more and more in Mexico. When you get a moderate payday from a company like TNA (and unlike Jesse Neal, who makes more working Wal*Mart than he did in TNA, Hernandez probably got nice coin from the company because of his card position), going to work for indies with smaller checks might not be as appealing if you're in demand elsewhere. Hernandez has history and connections in Mexico, so why not pursue a career there instead of doing the rounds in the US?

@tholzerman NXT announces tomorrow they're relaunching the Game Show gimmick. You've got to pick 6 rookies, 6 pros, and a "winner." Go!
— Jeff S (@DexDynamo) April 19, 2014

THE ROOKIES:
Baron Corbin (Pro: Alberto del Rio)
Kalisto (Pros: Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter)
Simon Gotch (Pros: The Bella Twins)
Slate Randall (Pro: Bad News Barrett)
Solomon Crowe (Pro: JTG)
CM Punk (Pro: Triple H)

The winner, of course, would be you, the fans. In all seriousness though, the winner would be Kalisto, because WWE needs a mask to replace Rey Mysterio.

@tholzerman should wwe stay out of misogynistic countries like Saudi Arabia, or would that be punishing male fans for their govt's policies?
— Jason DeFarge (@Jason_DeFarge) April 19, 2014

Oh, WWE should definitely stay out of countries like Saudi Arabia and China with awful human rights records. The world would be a better place if people did business in places where human rights were respected at some level, and it would be great if the arts and entertainment industry were able to enact real, positive change in this country, which theoretically is the BEST COUNTRY EVER YEAHHH but still has a lot of awful institutional racism, misogyny, homophobia, and classism. Then again, every country on the planet has some kind of conservative bent and could do better with institutional biases. So the good thing to do would be to stay out of the places where the lower classes' oppression is flaunted.

But realistically, expecting WWE to be a cultural leader feels naive. If the film industry still does business in countries where human rights are violated spectacularly, and even on an individual level, when supposedly "liberal" actors go to bat for scumbags like Roman Polanski or take money from companies that do terrible business, then expecting WWE to follow suit is a fool's task. It doesn't make their patronization of countries where the government explicitly forbids an entire portion of the population from consuming them any better or less disappointing, just less surprising.

@tholzerman Following up on last week's Russian legsweep question, why is Bret Hart's backbreaker so much better than everyone else's ever?
— Nicholas Jervey (@Nick11W) April 19, 2014

Bret Hart did a lot of things better than most wrestlers. He was a reputed perfectionist and someone who took his craft seriously, sometimes too seriously. I laughed and agreed when he called one of the Triple H/Undertaker Mania matches a 4/10, but man, using a ten scale in casual conversation? And the comments about Memphis-style brawling not being "real" wrestling were pretty off-base. But his "Excellence of Execution" wasn't just a gimmicked nickname, it was the truth about his in-ring style.

For the members of the main WWE roster who found themselves appearing on this week's episode of NXT it was a Dickensian best/worst of.

In the case of the Great Khali, he was feted to maybe the biggest babyface response of his career on his way to a semi-easy victory.  Facing CJ Parker down Full Sail way will do that, as the crowd hates this particular hippie so much (Regal mentioning mid pre-match promo that he'd like to punch CJP in the face) that a GLOBAL WARMING chant fired up when he got in his brief flurry of offense.

As for Brodus Clay, he finally lived up to his own billing as a main event playa...and then proceeded to lose by countout.  And that was after dominating most of the match against the NXT Champion and avoiding the Red Arrow.  This baffles on a myriad of levels: it doesn't really help Clay, since not only did he lose but he failed to lay out the Jumping Jordie post-match or steal the belt or do anything rather than make a logical NXT follower think "Well, he had a chance and he lost; how's about bringing on that Sami Zayn feller?" It doesn't help Neville, since you can't say he's beaten a member of the main roster--this was more of a narrow survival and that flukiest of wins.  It doesn't help his newish title reign, which needs a series of Ws in the ledger over people not named Camacho, even if he did get the win over Neville's former partner Oliver Grey in earlier action on the show.  The last time somebody named Clay won at this rate it feels like it was against Liston; let the land monster get the Red Arrow in the chops and move this plot along.

In direct contrast to that, it appears that the tag team division is finally picking up a pulse.  Not because of the Ascension, who did another Jamal and Rosey special in laying waste to Wesley Blake (Cal Bishop was also in the vicinity but didn't get to do anything) on their way to 200+ days as the longest reigning Tag Champs NXT's ever seen.  It was due to the sub-main, with Jason Jordan and Tye Dillinger in a sort of updated Benjamin/Hassian pairing with Avuncular Jocularity music formerly Jordan's alone going in against Sawyer Fulton and Baron Corbin.  No wrestling fan should complain when the bad guy team is big, ugly, and looks like they spend their offseason shoving kids at the playground and getting their dentistry done by way of bar fights after a few rounds.  With nothing better to do than form teams, and somebody probably having to make their impact and pay off all these Ascension open challenges by surprising them out of nowhere in a non-title match -- seriously, that is what nearly the last seven months have been building towards, yeah? -- both teams showed a positively surprising amount of cohesiveness, especially Team JD who had some double teams and nice dropkicks tucked away in their arsenal.  The seven-year statue of limitations may not've expired for them to use the Snapshot to solve their problems in what to do FTW, but the match is a great base of operations for both teams to set up camp out of going forward.

Next week, Emma and a partner will take on the remaining BFFs, and that Sami Zayn feller'll team up with the Usos to take on Corey Graves and the Ascension in some great trios action.  It's just a shame a little bit of love like that didn't get bestowed on this show, where Aiden English beating Big Cass with chicanery and smarts yet again somehow constitutes a rivalry.

Close but no cigar for all four wrestlers pictured here Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome, everyone, to the 2013 TWB 100, a crowd-sourced ranking of the best in-ring workers in North America. This year's survey, despite having fewer voters than last year, was still a rousing success. I collected 46 ballots – 12 of which contained 100 entries – with 402 distinct wrestlers receiving votes. Before I start unveiling the results, why don't you all sit down and meet this year's crop of voters:

TH - Eh, no one special

Angelo Castillo - Official emissary from the Philippines and bringer of lumpia

David Kincannon - Co-author of Irresistible vs. Immovable and the Aiden English of the wrestling blogger world

Alex Torres - Contributor at both Pro Wrestling Ponderings and Free Pro Wrestling and slayer of Mothra

Philip Rosenbaum - Official Wrestling Bro and possibly a shark

Andrew Smith - TWB enthusiast and owner of the plainest name among all voters

Jesse Powell - TWB superfan and someone I owe a life-debt to after watching Christmas Bounty in my stead

Martin Bentley - International jet-setting wrestling maven and for some reason, a lot taller than he sounds

Joseph Roche - Author of both the blog Wrestling Is Fun and the Beyond Wrestling newsletter, and once went ten rounds with a wallaby (It was a split decision; the bout was in Australia)

Samuel DiMascio - Podcaster at 4 Corners Radio, serial 2CW booster, and someone who owes me a punch to the gut for insinuating he looked like The Miz at National Pro Wrestling Day

Chris Harrington - Wrestling writer at What Culture and the Billy Beane of the wrestling world

Brandon Rohwer - TWB liker and currently being choked by Andre the Giant

Ryan Kilma - TWB appreciator and rumored to have ridden a moose from Winnipeg to Thunder Bay and back

Mike F. - Philadelphia native and Pitt alumnus who will fight anyone who takes Sheetz over Wawa. Or is it the other way around? I DON'T KNOW

Bill Hanstock - SB Nation staff writer, Scientific Podcast Goes Boink co-host, and eater of way too many Doritos Locos tacos

Joey O. - DJ at Y-Not Radio and someone who is probably too hip to be hanging out with us nerds

Tristan Wolfe - Curator of Explorations in Pro Wrestling and future Chopped judge

Rob Pandola - CZW booster and owner of at least three pairs of Hammer pants

Cewsh - Managing editor of Cewsh Reviews and suspected animagus

Frank McCormick- Derriere aficionado and serial wrestling show attendee

John Rosenberger - Certified Wrestle Bro and supporter of THE WRONG NHL PLAYOFF TEAM, BUDDY

Tom Blackett - Wrestling on Earth co-conspirator and secret admirer of the Stone Cold foam middle finger

Mike Pankowski - Verified Wrestle Bro and strongest Strong Island Bro not named the Big O

Ian Greenleafs - TWB mega-booster and Xavier Woods' stalker

Dylan Hales - Liar, fraud, co-host of the Wrestling Culture podcast, and co-founder of this list

Rich Thomas - Co-host of the International Object podcast who drives 2,857miles every week just so he can get some damn Wawa coffee

Chris McDonald - TWB devotee and Austin taco scene speculator

Joey Splashwater - Co-auteur at Wrestling on Earth and a not-so-typical ROH fan

Robot Hammer - Benevolent automated wrestling fan-simulator whose programming includes code for the elimination and disintegration of CM Punk… err, I mean hello

Steve Hummer - Another Philly-to-Pitt-U dude and only person on Twitter who's avatar reminds me of King Crimson's debut album cover without actually BEING that album cover

Willow Maclay - Neophyte wrestling fan who just started watching this year and went back and watched a bunch of 2013 stuff to participate. No smart-ass comment necessary, that feat is AWESOME.

Scott T. Holland - Staff Rumble statistician, co-scribe at Irresistible vs. Immovable, and continually covered in giardiniere

Brandon Spears - TWB zealot and owner of the world's largest kidney stone (he didn't pass it, he just bought it)

Brock Lutefisk - Staff Sid biographer who has been packed in lye and eaten in the winter months by Nordic-Americans in the upper Midwest

Andrew Rosin - Writer at Bucky's 5th Quarter who knows the air speed of an unladen swallow, both African AND European

De O'Brien - Contributor at Drop Toehold and world's second coolest grandmother (no one beats Jane Seymour, and even she'll admit that)

Brandon Bosh - Maven behind False Underdog who is actually a Labrador retriever in real life

TJ Hawke - Contributor to 411 Wrestling, head bee guy at Free Pro Wrestling, and totally not Alex Torres in disguise

George Hazar - Indie wrestling's most visible gadfly and purveyor of Naked Finlay

J K - Comments on the blog as "Peter Parker" but hasn't specified whether he built his web shooters or whether he can shoot them organically from his wrists

Rich Kraetsch - Co-manager at Voices of Wrestling but the only one who doesn't hear the voices in his head

Pablo Alva - TWB devotee and the only voter who hasn't denied that he's an anthropomorphic hot dog yet

Dan McQuade - Freelance writer, contributing editor to Philadelphia Magazine, and most popular write-in candidate for Philadelphia city dog catcher five years running

Zach Brown - TWB habitué with a half-life of 23,000 years

Danielle Matheson - Curator of The Mandible Claw, host of its titular podcast, and person voted most likely to start a religion based on the Submission Squad

Brandon Stroud - Managing editor of With Leather/UPROXX Sports and future founder of a cover band whose only song is "World Gone Wild"

Joe Kearns - TWB maniac and only ballot which was forgotten until the last minute and God I am so sorry will you ever forgive me

Now that I have introduced the voters this year, I will now present the wrestlers who received votes, but who did not qualify for the list. The players here are listed in decreasing value of points, meaning the first wrestler listed was the closest to making the list:

Heath Slater
Dasher Hatfield
Mark Briscoe
Chiva Kid/Andrew Everett
Josh Alexander
Titus O'Neil
Uhaa Nation
Erick Rowan
Naomi
Mercedes Martinez
Magnus
Wade Barrett
The Shard
Portia Perez
Gary Jay
Tommaso Ciampa
Mike Bennett
Brie Bella
Kana
Shynron
Rob van Dam
Akira Tozawa
Kurt Angle
Jervis Cottonbelly
Anthony Nese
Jimmy Jacobs
Frightmare
Chris Sabin
Willie Mack
Darren Young
LuFisto
Bobby Fish
Vordell Walker
Triple H
Shane Hollister
Max Smashmaster
Madison Eagles
Kobald
Bayley/Davina Rose
Aiden English
Kyle Matthews
Nikki Bella
James Storm
Samuray del Sol
Mike Cruz
Jojo Bravo
Louis Lyndon
Jay Lethal
Allysin Kay
Amasis
Leo Kruger
Cedric Alexander
Kaitlyn
El Hijo del Ice Cream
The Miz
Nicole Matthews
Matt Tremont
Joey Ryan
Saraya Knight
Ivelisse Velez
Sasha Banks
Tyson Kidd
Jeff Hardy
Kenny King
Big LG
Pretty Peter Avalon/Norv Fernum
Latvian Proud Oak
Santino Marella
Gran Akuma
Kellie Skater
Addy Starr
Matthew Palmer
Sugar Dunkerton
Timothy Thatcher
Mia Yim
assailANT
El Torito
Damien Wayne
Silas Young
Brian Cage
Mickie James
Shane Strickland
Christina von Eerie
Rickey Shane Page
Hunico/Sin Cara
Jeremy Wyatt
Paul Heyman
Evie
Missile Assault Ant
Necro Butcher
Chris Masters
2 Cold Scorpio
Barbi Hayden
Ice Cream, Jr.
Drew McIntyre
Jushin "Thunder" Liger
Ricky Starks
Alexander Rusev
KT Hamill
MsChif
Ray Rowe
Taryn Terrell
Ayumi Kurihara
Gregory Iron
Jaka
Joe Pittman
Lithuanian Snow Troll
Jonathan Gresham
Scott Parker
R-Truth
Heidi Lovelace
Rain
Jeremiah Plunkett
Obariyon
Dan Barry
Evan Gelistico
Eric Young
Leva Bates
Marion Fontaine
Harlem Bravado
Jake Davis
Player Uno
Zema Ion
Lancelot Bravado
Thomas Shire
Primo Colon/Diego
Epico/Fernando
Charlotte
Alicia Fox
Matt Cage
Jason Kincaid
Drew Haskins
Mojo Rawley
Lance Archer
Tamina Snuka
Bill Carr
Christian Rose
Shane Matthews
Mark Andrews
Prince Ali
Matt Cross
Jeff Cobb
Shaun Tempers
Cyrus the Destroyer
Gunner
Orange Cassidy
Colin Cassady
Tracey Smothers
RJ Brewer
Rick Victor/Viktor
Connor O'Brien/Konnor
Chase Owens
Danny Havoc
Glaad Badd
Yoshi Tatsu
Greek God Papadon
Tomoka Nakagawa
Robbie E
Mini Park
Pete Dunne
Masada
Zeb Colter
Petey Williams
Darin Corbin
Bobby Beverly
Fred Yehi
The Rock
Saturyne
John Silver
Ricardo Rodriguez/El Local
Tommy End
Ayako Hamada
Jerry Lynn
Layla
Jake Crist
Brian Kendrick
Kahagas
Tom Pritchard
Matt Hardy
Brian Rivers
Enzo Amore
Rachel Summerlyn
Anthony Stone
Amazing Red
Super Nova
Jesse Godderz
Super Crazy
Brother D-Von
Kitsune
Hurricane Helms
Mathieu St. Jacques
Caveman
Justin Gabriel
Eric Corvis
Josh Prohibition
BJ Whitmer
Corey Graves
TNT
Jinder Mahal
Juan Francisco de Coronado
TaDarius Thomas
Tomahawk TT
Jewells Malone
Dave Crist
Kodama
Cameron
Orbit Adventure Ant
Player Dos/Stupefied
Thunder
John Hennigan
Lightning
Brodus Clay
Xavier Woods
Michael Tarver
Sam Shields
Great Khali
Rockstar Spud
Chris Hamrick
Zack Ryder
Alex Colon
Colin Delaney
Monsta Mack
Mr. Anderson
Preston Quinn
Alex Reynolds
EJ Risk
Michael Dante
VSK
David Otunga
Homicide
Torque
Eric Ryan
Rudy Boy Riley
Oleg the Usurper
Malice Oceans
Dan Maff
Barrett Brown
Logan Black
Andrew Alexander
Little Guido
Pierre Abernathy
Angel Ortiz
Tensai
Mike Draztik
Seleziya Sparx
Carlito
CJ Parker
Rocky Romero
Camacho
Alex Koslov
Blaster McMassive
Arctic Rescue Ant
Mat Fitchett
Vanessa Kraven
Delirious
Tyson Dux
Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder
Afa Jr.
Dan Lawrence
Totally Radical Steven Person
LA Smooth
Mason Ryan
Martin Causus
Ray Gonzalez
Aksana
Thomas Dubois
Taylor Made
Jon Malus
CW Anderson
Flip Kendrick
Ricky Morton
Curt Hawkins
Neveah
Aaron Epic
Pasquale
EITA
Sonjay Dutt
Eva Marie
deviANT
Lince Dorado
Scot Summers
Adam Jacobs
Shingo Takagi
Invader I
Robert Gibson
T-Money
Jack Jameson
Scott Dawson
Mike Rollins
Nasty Russ Myers
Apollyon
Caleb Konley
Johnny Viper
Carlos Colon
Hiroyo Matsumoto
Jocephus Brody
Americos
Angelus Layne
Proletariat Boar of Moldova
Cherry Bomb
Keith Hamill
Courtney Rush
New Jack

Tomorrow, the list starts with number 100.

Several of my most cherished live wrestling experiences have come at shows promoted under the Chikara banner. I've enjoyed entire shows better than the one held on August 1, 2011 at the ECW Arena, but scant few matches stand out as more satisfying than the main event of that show. The 12 Large Summit created some matches that wouldn't normally be seen otherwise, the most notable of which pitted fellow members of the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes against each other. Claudio Castagnoli, the leader of the Germanic invading group, decided he didn't want to wrestle Sara del Rey, the breakout star poised to make her own name, so he demanded that she lay down for him. She refused. The match that followed was sheer brilliance. I've seen a lot of people wrestle at the Arena, but not a whole lot were more over than del Rey was during and after that contest, and thanks to the Estonian Thunder Frog, everyone can watch it legally and for free. Enjoy!

Piper's pitfalls were at center stage on the first episode of Legends House Photo Credit: WWE.com

First of all, massive apologies for again promising something on Twitter only to completely delay it due to my own laziness and inability to properly remember what exactly I just saw. I don't usually take notes during Total Divas or now Legends House, so my tweets are kind of the only thing I have to go by. This is a terrible method to write. Kids, don't use your dumb tweets as recaps for your similarly dumb pro wrestling reality show report. It will make you manic enough to think to waste people's time in reading the method to your madness instead of actually covering the shows you opted to cover for a friendly website. I think I should start listing people now.

1. Roddy Piper

For this to not be weighed down by too many things, I'm taking the eight legends and the seven divas and listing them. No tertiary figures allowed, or in the case of Legends House, there is no mention of random Ashley who appears and then disappears. Although I'm sure she earned her stripes with that four star match with Flair in 1987, I'm sure. Anyways, I can't ever avoid being drawn to Roddy Piper. Piper is one of those personalities that truly is unpredictable. When motivated and used to his fullest in the ring, he is just magic. Other times, he can go off the rails. And as the main legend in the house, he centers what can look like an exercise in tedium.

I also bought into one of the two stunning reality TV moments of the week as Piper discussed his battles with alcoholism. It goes without saying that for those who are teetotalers who battled out of alcohol abuse, the sudden nature of being without either your crutch or "fun time juice" is potentially alienating. You notice how much of the lives of everyone around you and the places you're drawn to is affected by people drinking alcohol. And we're all not built like CM Punk to feel absurdly confident without alcohol, either. I think Piper channels a bit of that emotion in his own revelations here. He plays with the sort of lycanthrope imagery of a weird loneliness bartered by being away from his support, both in the familial sense and in what he once clinged to. Also, this happened on a show where Gene Okerlund will say "Holy balls" many times.

2. Trinity/Naomi

On Total Divas, Naomi got married to Jimmy Uso in what can be seen as the adorable peak to her character. Trinity is the only character on the show that I can genuinely say that I've never disliked. As misguided as the whole single thing is, it isn't insane for her character unlike Ariane's sudden turning into Tracy Jordan's wife in season one. And while every character on the show seems to have progressed into this bizarrely unlikable being at times, Trinity is still even keel. If anything, her man is the more outlandish and that is always played off as comedic then adorable then sweet. What I'm getting at is that she's earned a pretty wedding episode.

3. Jimmy Hart

Jimmy Hart can just lie down for 13 weeks (or however many episodes of Legends House there are) and I would still love him. I can't speak badly about the man who wrote "Rockhouse," was Andy Kaufman's manager, had the best obnoxious schtick with the megaphone, was responsible for "Keep on Dancin'," was responsible for "Eat Your Heart Out, Rick Springfield," was responsible for--you get the point. Jimmy Hart is just fantastic and can talk out of his butt for all I care.

4. Eva Marie

I'm sure you're as stunned as I am. This is going to take a lot of explanation. This week, Eva Marie essentially went through some of the worst stuff. It was genuinely hard to watch as Eva finds out about her uterine pain and that she apparently has what is referred to as a "misshaped uterus." Since we're ultra-conservative, the takeaway from this is that Eva might not be able to have children. But honestly, the whole nature of sudden pain from the uterus just made me feel sad and emotional in a genuine sense. I told a friend about this, and she opined that I see this type of pain as humanizing. And even if Eva is the worst at wrestling, she's still a human that is hard to see in pain. Extra points for her man not seeming like a douchebag!

5. Gene Okerlund

He said "Holy balls." That's enough.

6. Howard Finkel

He poorly played tennis. That's enough.

7. Brie Bella

Did you see her outfit? She's kind of the coolest when she wants to be.

8. Tony Atlas

There has never been a moment more wonderful in reality television internet streaming programs than the realization that Tony Atlas will once again get to laugh and I will get to see it. Also, please pay Tony Atlas a lot, WWE.

9. Summer Rae

Pretty sure she vanished, but someone still loves you Summer Rae.

10. Hillbilly Jim

I like that he looks like Gene Snitsky accelerated by those missing persons image time lapses.

11. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

I like that he entered the house looking like Tom Cruise circa Magnolia.

12. Nikki Bella

Not the worst!

13. Ariane

Also not the worst!

14. Pat Patterson

Not his fault, but I actually had to google who the eighth legend in the house was. I guess it's hard to outshine Gary Busey on the big stage.

15. Nattie

"I'd rather be a vanilla latte than a frappuccino with all the fixings." This explains everything I dislike about Nattie. The strongest of these is that frappuccinos are so good. They're fluid about what they are. Whipped cream? No whip? Mocha? Coffee? Vanilla bean? So delicious. She also does the requisite "I'm not like these women, I'm a lady" sort of horseshit that has colored the more slut-shamey aspects of her character as of late. Anyway, she goes to see a sex therapist, and what do you know, the therapist finds that she could do so much more than she does sexually. Points off for the therapist not saying "butt stuff" (when she clearly meant butt stuff!) and "boner times" (when she clearly talked about TJ's erection). You sex therapists need to be a buttload more informal.

TAP TAP TAP TAP Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Paige (Last Week: 3) - Scorpion Crosslock rule everything around me. SCREAM get the tapout, winnah winnah match y'all.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Bryan returns from his honeymoon rested, relaxed, and ready to kick some heads off. That is, until the reveal drops that Brie Bella was a DOUBLE AGENT OF THE AUTHORITY AND SHE POISONED BRYAN'S VEGAN SOY MOCKTAIL MARGARITAS AND NOW HE'S POWERLESS AHAHAHAHAHAHA BUT THEN KANE... goddammit Vince Russo, stop taking over my blog! Jesus.

3. Easter Ham (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - I move that ham become the official meat of Easter. Turkey shall remain the gold standard for Thanksgiving. And for Christmas, I move that everyone starts eating a roast beef. ALL IN FAVOR, SAY YAY. ALL OPPOSED... NO ONE SHOULD BE OPPOSED.

4. Mark Henry (Last Week: 7) - The King of Hossdom may have failed in his first round match with Antonio Cesaro in the Intercontinental Championship Tournament Monday, but he reminded everyone by pushing around the Swiss Superman that he's still the gold standard of HOSSERY. Seriously, who else can push around Cesaro but Henry? NO ONE, THAT'S WHO.

5. AJ Lee (Last Week: 9) - Lee is taking an extended break to deal with nagging injuries, so this slot will be her final appearance on the list for the time being. However, let those who follow not grieve for the absence of the former Divas Champion, but rejoice that she was able to give hope for a new era by having decent matches given the circumstance and clowning JBL and Michael Cole whenever she got the chance to sit in the booth. REJOICE!

6. Allysin Kay (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Another match in SHINE against Jessicka Havok, another no-contest, another near evacuation of the peninsula. One of these days, those two are going to cause everyone to leave Florida, and then the state's crazy will infect the rest of the country. You have all been forewarned.

7. Jeff Teague (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He straight up killed Evan Turner in Game 1 of the Hawks/Pacers series. Pacer fans, feel our pain. FEEL OUR PAIN.

8. Wayne Simmonds (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Simmonds basically took the entire Rangers roster and did a John Cena-vs.-the-Nexus on them to score the game-sealing empty net goal. If he keeps performing such feats of hockey awesomeness, no one in the world will be able to stop the Flyers! Well, except for a team with a deep roster of scorers who are athletic enough to skate circles around the team's old, slow defense corps. A big if, however. *looks at a potential second round match with the Penguins* *weeps* *realizes they have Marc-Andre Fleury in net* *stops weeping* *looks at potential Conference Finals match with the Red Wings* *weeps some more*

9. LuFisto (Last Week: 5) - The spirit of Pegaboo has fused with LuFisto now, and the two have attained near-perfect spiritual harmony. At least that explanation is what I got from reading various reviews of the nCw: Femmes Fatale show from this weekend. I may or may not have been high on mescaline when I read those recaps, by the by.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She once kissed a frog in the marshes of an Eastern European country, and he turned into a burly, hammer-wielding wrestling maven. As a thank you, The Estonian Thunder Frog selected a Sara del Rey match as part of his Chik-Picks.

Dragging the Champ to Hell, I assume... Photo Credit: WWE.com

Heat is elastic. As long as the performer can act a level above Eva Marie or is a better in-ring technician than what Great Khali projects to in 20 years, no wrestler can be fully submarined. Kane has gone through so many ebbs and flows through his career that he remains the best proof to that axiom. For as many times as he became an afterthought, when WWE has wanted to make Kane look like a monster, he has summoned the fire. He's called down the thunder.

I personally felt like I was in a minority getting excited when Stephanie McMahon telegraphed a title match between Kane and Daniel Bryan at Extreme Rules. The two have a history, and Bryan has gotten a lot more in the ring out of a lot less than what Kane can offer, even now. Still, after getting the most luxurious VIP treatment in WrestleMania history, getting Kane had to feel like a demotion, right? Even with the history between the two character, at his worst, Kane has felt like a placeholder feud, a nadir so to speak. I have noticed that with a lot of my peers on Twitter and in the intelligentsia, the tendency is to look pessimistically.

However, when Kane is dialed in, he's an elite presence on the show, a monstrous, evil aura who can stand up to any heroic figure credibly and believably. His summer feud against the Undertaker in '10 and his initial return in '11, before Zack Ryder and Eve Torres turned the angle into a campy horror parody, both sent chills down my spine.

Tonight, with each of his three neck-rattling tombstone piledrivers, he returned to that form, the one that has the makings of an incredible title program. He looked motivated, on-point, supernatural even. Just one week ago, Corporate Forme Kane was going through the motions. He was a theoretically great interpretation on an old character using a Reality Era spin who was just beaten through the same wringer that every milquetoast authority figure has gone through. But just a week later, the spark returned.

Whenever I hear that a character or a performer is ruined, I chuckle to myself, because I know that in the long term, that character's heat can rebound with the right circumstances. Kane has proven that maxim his entire career. Tonight's performance was just another example.

Can WWE please replace Michael Cole and JBL with Curtis Axel and The Ryback? Seriously, I derived more enjoyment from his anecdote about how his father used to serve Curt Hennig and Scott Hall at the bar back in the AWA days than anything JBL has said since he's come back to the announce table. Then again, the problem isn't so much the announcers as it is the man in their ears. But I digress. I'm falling more and more in love with the Rybaxel team each week. They are filling the void of "awesome bad guy team with superb double team offense" left by the dissolution of the Real Americans, and I love their mashup theme. Give me a months-long feud between them and the Usos, please.

Hardy has a problem with YOU using terms Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Wrestlers and hardcore fans have been at odds for years over the use of "insider" lingo. The disagreements are as old as the age of the first non-kayfabed newsletter, when Dave Meltzer first started his endeavors of attempting to report the backstage dealings and wasn't shy about using the industry jargon to describe them. As knowledge of idiomatic terms increased in percentage among the fans, resentment from some corners of the wrestling world grew exponentially in relation to it. Backlash from wrestlers is not a new thing, but the easy access of Twitter plus the rampant insecurity of some personalities who tend only to interact with the "haters" and the people they deem stupid and needing to be called out makes its existence on schedule for daily reminder.

Michael Bennett has made part of his new, hardline old school character calling people out for using words that he thinks should belong only to wrestlers. Jim Ross is another personality on Twitter who, when not shilling his sauces or his podcast, likes to take people to task for being "keyboard warriors" who think they know more than they actually do. Last night, Matt Hardy had an episode of public shaming over the use of the word "worker:"

Plz define "WORKER" for me, Hasan. RT “@hasanosman1: @JohnCena Matt at least admit Cena is a terrible worker, the guy has zero psychology”
— Matt Hardy (@MATTHARDYBRAND) April 22, 2014

"WORKER" is the most misused & misconstrued term by wrestling fans. Without actual in-ring experience, it's almost impossible to understand.
— Matt Hardy (@MATTHARDYBRAND) April 22, 2014

While I agree that the Twitter user Hardy called out probably has a skewed version of what a worker is, I find Hardy's response and defensive prohibition of using that specific word only to those who have stepped in the ring is emblematic of the disconnect between fan and performer. The problem isn't that fans are using terms incorrectly; a majority of those within wrestling still refuse to teach the outsiders what those terms mean.

On one level, I can understand why wrestlers might want to remain secretive about their trade. The age of kayfabe is still fresh in people's memories. Those who have come up through the business now may have spent their time when wrestling was nearly universally acknowledged as more art than legitimate sport, but they have mostly been trained by people who were in their primes when the ruse was still strong in public perception. Old habits die hard, especially in an industry with such a close-knit fraternity of wrestlers with almost dogmatic respect for the past. No matter how much the business changes over the years, the people within it have to be the ones to enact change. If people take cues from Hardy, like Bennett and so many others seemingly are, then no matter how modern the finished product looks, those bringing it to life may still remain as secretive as their forebears were in 1960.

I don't necessarily think knowledge of those terms is necessary for enjoyment. As an aside, I've tried to step back from using those terms myself, but not because I have "respect" for the business or for whatever stringent reasons I'm not supposed to use those words or whatever. My reasons are purely aesthetic. Regardless, terminology is the last thing anyone, fan or performer, should really worry about, but at the same time, hey, it's not like wrestlers are out in the open using those terms in front of anywhere from hundreds to millions of followers on Twitter or to audiences on podcasts, right?

Right?

When the Bullet Club's entire Twitter gimmick is using insider lingo in an attempt at being too cool for school, when arguably the most widely-listened to wrestling podcast in the Steve Austin Show regularly features him shooting the shit with wrestlers using those terms, when people like Lance Storm (who, to be fair, is more in line with Meltzer than Hardy and Bennett) and Sean Waltman live-Tweet RAW from an insider's perspective, then the problem no longer rests with the fans who are prying behind a curtain. The toothpaste is out of the tube, and the people who squeezed it out are the same ones who were supposed to be stewards of the tube in the first place.

People like Bennett, Ross, and Hardy have no reason to be angry or resentful to fans anymore. Their rage would be better aimed at their peers, but in all reality, rage is not the right emotion to feel. Bennett especially has taken to comparing using wrestling jargon like "disrespectfully" using accounting terms to a CPA. I can only speak anecdotally, but whenever I engage in conversation with someone about their business, they are open and actually want to discuss their jobs with people. Then again, the comparisons aren't exactly congruous. I'm sure an accountant would love it if someone came up to him or her and asked about supply and demand curves, but that industry is, in a word, boring compared to pro wrestling.

The year is 2014, and I would assume most people over the age of 10 who continue to watch wrestling do so either in spite of its "fakeness" or BECAUSE they know and love that its staged nature allows for better storytelling and implementation of sports action without the drags of boring strategy for winning. Would teaching people about the correct definitions and usages of terms be that damaging? The answer, unequivocally, is hell fucking no, it wouldn't. If random Twitter users don't know what the word "worker" means, then Hardy can do one of two things. He can ignore those people and not use Twitter as a haughty platform for shushing and condescending people who are not part of his fraternity (and who, especially on the level of work where he's at, are the ones paying his appearance fees), or he could use those missteps as teachable moments and try to get as many people educated on what "workers" are.

Words are words, and you don't need to have experience to know what they mean. The modern era and proliferation of information makes this veil of secrecy that some wrestlers want to live behind a mirage. Teaching fans the right and wrong way to use terminology is not pulling back the curtain. It is not akin to a magician revealing how to perform his/her tricks. It is free exchange of ideas, which is never a bad thing.

Pictured: A MYSTERY Photo Credit: WWE.com

Evolution just seems incomplete without a fourth member to complete the group's oeuvre. Now that Triple H is Ric Flair, Batista is Triple H, and Randy Orton is Batista, who fills the role the Viper once did of the future blue chip prospect? Well, I wanted to dig to the bottom of this quandary, and I found a few options. Below are the likeliest possible additions to the group!

• Sheamus
• Prince Devitt
• Prince (the musician)
• Prince Joffrey (he's got some time now, doesn't he?)
• Tywin Lannister
• The Mountain
• The Hound
• The hounds
• This Bama fan
• Bam Bam Bigelow
• Bam Bam Gordy
• BAM! Emeril Lagasse
• Bobby Flay
• Roose Bolton
• Ramsay Bolton
• Michael Bolton
• Kenny G
• Kenny Rogers
• Mr. Rogers
• Big Bird
• Ron Jeremy
• Jeremy Roenick
• Doc Emrick
• Doc McStuffins
• Sofia the First
• Sofia Vergara
• Ed O'Neill
• Katey Sagal
• Billy West
• Adam West
• Mayor Adam West
• Brian Griffin
• Blake Griffin
• DeAndre Jordan
• Orlando Jordan
• JBL
• Uncle Zebekiah
• Jerry Lawler
• Eddie Gilbert
• Tommy Rich
• Harley Race
• Ric Flair

On second thought, why mess with a classic lineup, enh?

Roderick Strong was the last one in this year Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

The main run of the TWB 100 kicks off today with the first 25 entrants. Let's get it started:

100. Roderick Strong
Points: 405
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 22nd Place (Steve Hummer)
Last Year's Placement: 62nd Place

99. Paul London
Points: 407
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 16th Place (Chris McDonald)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: Paul London's return to Ring of Honor coinciding with my first ever Internet pay-per-view purchase was a godsend. He made a match with Davey Richards not only enjoyable but downright cromulent. In addition to his work in PWG, London was one of the best special-attraction indie guys of the year. A guy of his experience didn't have to bump like he was in ladder matches in his pre-WWE days, but he kept going hard. Any time he popped up on tape, I was enthralled.

Taker's signature in-ring moment from 2013 Photo Credit: WWE.com

98. The Undertaker
Points: 414
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 11th Place (TJ Hawke)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: Undertaker wrestled three matches in 2013. Two of them were among the best of the year, and the third was a decent jaunt on a Smackdown against a guy who could have used the exposure. He and CM Punk had the best at WrestleMania, and then weeks later, he arguably was the star performer in a match that included The Shield and Daniel Bryan. His quantity may not have been up there, but his quality in that short sample size of matches landed him a spot late on my ballot.

TJ Hawke: As my wrestling passion adapts to the current product available, I find myself interested in fewer companies, matches, and wrestlers. I used to be able to watch any match from any wrestler from any company, but I’ve found that I just no longer feel like that practice is worth my time. I think there’s multiple reasons why (getting older, natural repetitiveness of the art, the feeling I’ve “seen it all,” etc.), and that had caused me to cherish quality over quantity more than ever before. In 2013, no one in North American represented “quality over quantity” more than The Undertaker.

The man only had three matches, and one of them was what will likely end up being his last victory at WrestleMania. Despite a shaky build, Taker and CM Punk pretty much saved WrestleMania with their great match that provided great drama and excitment on the biggest wrestling show of the year. The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak gimmick has been one of the more exciting things in wrestling since 2007. The 2013 match was special enough for me to rank The Undertaker highly on the list of best North American wrestlers for sure.

97. Tyler Breeze
Points: 422
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 9th Place (Angelo Castillo)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Brandon Stroud: His entrance alone merits him a spot on this list. Honored to be in the first crowd that gave him a "that was awesome" for it. He was at the very beginning of my first trip to Full Sail, and I'll love him for it no matter how many times WWE Network glitches on his entrance and tries to ruin it.

Kimber Lee giving Allysin Kay the what-for Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

96. Kimber Lee
Points: 428
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 15th Place (Frank McCormick)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: A lot of wrestlers excel at playing one side of the coin in the ring, but when called upon to work the other alignment, they fail. Lee was asked to wrestle as both a heel and a face, depending on the promotion, and she did well at both. In CZW and WSU, she worked the crowd into a frothy lather with her underhanded tactics, and in Beyond Wrestling, she was able to draw on babyface fire to make comebacks and show she could lead a crowd back into a match (her Beyond matches that I saw were in front of "the boys," so it was a skewed crowd). She has an innate grasp on how to orchestrate a match to get the desired results, and that kind of savvy at her age is amazing.

Alex Torres: If Kimber Lee isn't already the best women's wrestler in the United States, and for my money she is, then by this time next year she will be.

Martin Bentley: There are many women with bright futures on the independent scene. If she carries on the path she's treading right now, Kimber Lee may have the brightest of them all.

From her role in Drew Gulak's Campaign for a Better Combat Zone, which sometimes involves her having skewers stuck in her head courtesy of people like Christina Von Eerie, to her fun turn in Wrestling is Fun as the obnoxious Princess Kimberlee, to being pure awesome in the likes of WSU and Beyond Wrestling, even to her rare appearances in SHINE (including a match booked as a rib where she took on Kimberly), anywhere Kimber Lee was in 2013, she got noticed, and left a heck of an impression, as well as some stiff kicks and suplexes.

Most notably, 2013 was Kimber's debut in SHIMMER, where she stood out in two fronts, both in amazing singles matches with the likes of Evie, Athena and Kana, and as a part of probably the most fun female team on the indies right now, the Kimber Bombs with Cherry Bomb. In addition, Kimber made a hell of a mark on the 2013 JT Lightning Invitational Tournament in AIW, defeating both Bobby Beverly and Louis Lyndon to reach the semifinals, before falling to Johnny Gargano, and earning his respect.

If anyone is in the running for the title of "the next Sara del Rey", then I feel Kimber Lee is the closest. Her base and kicks certainly resemble Death Rey's, and if she has a career anything like the current NXT trainer's, she'll go down as one of the greats.

Joe Roche: If the only wrestling shows I saw Kimber Lee in during 2013 were the Block A, Block B and Tournament For Tomorrow 2 tapings for Beyond Wrestling, I'd still put her on this list. Lee's matches with JT Dunn in 2013 were all excellent but the standout match she had for me this year was an outright brawl with Allysin Kay that included a curling iron being used as a weapon. During that same taping Lee had an incredibly hard hitting match with Rory Mondo that legitimately seemed like it ended with Rory being dead. Lee has a brutal feud with Christina Von Eerie in CZW which plays perfectly whenever they're around each other and let us not forget that she had a really good match with Kana at SHIMMER 59.

Rob Pandola: She was so good as a heel in Wrestling is Fun that people cheered for Portia Perez, but so good as a face that you want to boo JT Dunn. She's a great striker, her kicks are no joke, throws a hell of a German Suplex, and IS CZWs women's division. No one is more ready to have a break out 2014 than her.

95. Summer Rae
Points: 432
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 22nd Place (Angelo Castillo)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Scott T. Holland: Summer Rae shined at times in 2013 when allowed to actually be a wrestler, specifically her two matches in the NXT Women’s Championship tournament. Her semifinal loss to Emma was the best non-title match of the tournament, and it showed what happens when women are allowed to perform as individual wrestlers with unique physical traits instead of all wrestling the same style of match regardless of build or frame.

94. Jigsaw
Points: 438
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 19th Place (Ryan Kilma)
Last Year's Placement: 39th Place

93. JT Dunn
Points: 438 (ranked ahead of Jigsaw based on highest vote tiebreaker)
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 13th Place (Tristan Wolfe)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: Dunn busted out big in 2013 along with Beyond Wrestling's breakout due to getting chance after chance to hang with the best in the ring. His Tournament for Tomorrow weekend was an incredible three days packed with five marquee matches, including two with Kimber Lee. He has great potential to move alongside the indie strikers in 2014.

John Rosenberger: Man did anyone on the indies have a better back half of 2013 than JT Dunn? The man who was for a while one of the best kept secrets in all of pro-wrestling blew up big time this past year. Beyond Wrestling’s explosion shined a light on a lot of relatively new faces but nobody picked up that ball and ran with it more than Dunn. His flow is so smooth and his move set feels fresh, I can’t wait to see what’s next for The Juice.

Curtis Axel's push may have sucked, but he was a fine in-ring performer Photo Credit: WWE.com

92. Curtis Axel
Points: 439
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 23rd Place (Jesse Powell)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: As a character, Axel was a failure, but he had an unfairly shat-upon run in the ring, especially during the summer. He always had a methodical grasp on the heat segments of matches, important as a heel working as a Champion. I always felt like he was the better wrestler in his series with Chris Jericho. His tag team run with Ryback at the end of the year was pretty good too. Again, conflating his character work with his in-ring feels wrong. His 2013 was solid at the very least.

Ryan Kilma: Poor Curtis Axel, had his Dad been Arn Anderson (Arn & Perfect are both from Minnesota, I'll look into it)we'd be praising him as a technical ring general with a lumberjack's grit. Despite becoming a splendid mat wrestler, Axel will never escape his father's Perfect shadow. The next generation superstars that succeded (Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt) had the benefit of lowered expectations, if you're going to criticize Axel for being imperfect and least thank him for not becoming David Flair or Nick Hogan.

Scott T. Holland: Erstwhile Paul Heyman guy Curtis Axel is a professional wrestler who appeared on my TV screen in 2013. He won the Intercontinental Title in a three-way match at Payback and defended it for more than five months before losing it to someone who has far more watchable wrestling matches. If you say nothing else about Axel, at least respect the guy throws a textbook PerfectPlex and has shown a mastery of the art of the near fall. He’s also one half of a fungible midcard tag team.

91. Estonian Thunder Frog
Points: 451
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 9th Place (Ryan Kilma)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: I was in the bag for the Thunder Frog as soon as I knew who he was because I love outlandish gimmicks. However, he surprisingly brought the thunder, pun intended, in the ring. He was able to work the mat wrestling style required of a Chikaraverse denizen despite being taller and bulkier than most of his competition. His theatrics and body language are natural. He always makes the match he's in a spectacle, but when he has to trade holds with a Drew Gulak or engage in a hate-feud with a member of the Bloc Party, he comes through. I expect big things from the Frog going forward.

Ryan Kilma: Like John Henry before him, this electric amphibian acheived folk hero status by picking up a hammer a striking a blow for the working class. Much of Daniel Bryan's grassroots appeal stemmed from nearly a decade of performing in front of dozens for gas money. Although it's been five years since the American Dragon stepped foot in a high school gymnasium (unless he has a niece in volleyball or something), the DIY spirit of independent wrestling is very much alive, and no one is continuing its legacy more eccentrically or beautifully than the Estonian ThunderFrog. ETF only had one CHIKARA match in 2013 (a cup of coffee at the Tag World Grand Prix w/ the Latvian Proud Oak) but became the placeholder of that fallen company via frantic antics stop gapped by tremendous professional wrestling. I might be CHIKARA (or you, or Icarus) but in all seriousness, Froggy is CHIKARA

90. TJ Perkins/Manik
Points: 451
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 9th Place (Ryan Kilma)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: TJ Perkins made the top ten on my ballot, and I did not see a single minute of footage of him as Suicide/Manik in TNA. His work in the indies, whether on the West Coast or Midwest, was among the best I've ever seen. While the indies have trended towards high spots galore, Perkins has taken the road back towards heavy mat-based influence and made art out of it. Few wrestlers were able to hybridize a stiff, highly impactful-looking execution into preliminary feeling-out process holds and exchanges the way Perkins did last year.

He had several matches to seek out. He provided a worthy challenge for the Champion in his main event battle against Jeremy Wyatt for the Metro Pro Championship on Episode 116. Even in a truncated timespan outdoors in overcast, windy weather, he managed to put on a clinic with Timothy Thatcher. His masterpiece for the year, however, came at PWG's All-Star Weekend 9 Night 2. The combination of mat wrestling mastery and lucha libre flair made it the highlight match not only on the card, but perhaps for the entire year for that company.

Samuel DiMascio: TJP has never really been a guy whose clicked for me but this year I had to give credit where credit was due because Perkins really had some stellar stuff going for him. Perkins managed to bring some of his swanky grappling to various indies without falling into a lot of traps that certain American indies sometimes do. His match against Timothy Thatcher for Bushido Pro was a wonderful grapplefest and probably one of the most memorable indie matches of the year for me. When Perkins took a trip to Metro Pro he found himself again in another swell match in another under-the-radar promotion this time against Jeremy Wyatt. In both matches Perkins more than held up his end and showed how well his fluid brand of wrestling can work. Oh, he also works for TNA? Yeah, that’s not too important.

Ethan Page's breakout match in 2013 Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

89. "All Ego" Ethan Page
Points: 468
Ballots: 7
Highest Vote Received: 8th Place (Philip Rosenbaum)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Alex Torres: The best character in independent wrestling. No one on the scene provides the entertainment value that he does.

Martin Bentley: Jesus wears a cross with Ethan Page on it. "All Ego" isn't just a catchphrase with this guy, it's a way of life, and it's brought him to a fantastic 2013, albeit with one slight bump in the road.

Thanks to a problem at the US/Canada border, which resulted in Page not being able to make a booking with Ring of Honor, promotions now have to be careful in how they advertise him, with most settling on the hashtag #AllEgo to promote him on posters. Still, with lesser guys, they'd have given up. There's a reason after all this why the likes of AIW and AAW continue to make Page a major priority on their shows.

The year started at National Pro Wrestling Day, where Page and long time running buddy Josh Alexander arguably stole the entire day in representing AIW, bringing fresh eyes to the Cleveland promotion. After a faked feud with his valet Seleziya Sparx, Page wound up winning the 2013 JT Lightning Invitational Tournament, and would turn this into becoming AIW Absolute Champion with a win over Colin Delaney, who had just won the belt himself, at Absolution VIII. Page would run into UltraMantis Black at Double Dare and lose the title to him, but he would regain it right at the end of 2013 at Dead Presidents... only to then lose it right to Michael Elgin on the same show.

In AAW, Page initially took over the tag team division with Alexander as the Monster Mafia, and worked their way through the division in fantastic matches, getting to the semifinals of the Allegiance Tag Team Tournament. However, Alexander would get injured, resulting in Page looking for new partners. For the remainder of the tournament, Page turned to Ricochet, briefly forming the New Age Nation of Dominiation, but when they fell to Jimmy Jacobs and Silas Young in the final, Page turned on Ricochet. Once a tag title shot came calling, Page somehow convinced his fellow Ontarian Michael Elgin to be his partner, and somehow they won the titles as the Men of the Year.

Ethan Page used 2013 to set the stall for an even brighter future, not through confidence, but All Ego.

Joe Roche: Page is a bit of a throwback. He isn't going to impress you with you any one piece of his arsenal but as a total package, he just has "it." His victory in the JT Lightning Tournament felt like a big deal and was a great showcase for his ability (beating Gargano and Michael Elgin). His run with the AIW Heavyweight Title wasn't great, but he really impressed me in 2013 with his work in tag teams. The Monster Mafia is one of my favorite things in wrestling and you should absolutely go out of your way to see their match with The Young Bucks from IWL. Page also had a couple great tag team match as the New Nation of Domination (w/ Ricochet) at AAW Windy City Classic IX and he even made Kung Fu Manchu interesting with Michael Elgin as the Men of the Year. The other thing about Page is that he got appreciably better over 2013, he does a rope in ace crusher that looked a bit like garbage early in the year that now looks flawless. He's a big guy who has some power and a ton of charisma and I think he's poised for an even better 2014.

Rob Pandola: No one brought goofy, cocky heel work to the ring better than All Ego. His trash talking was on point the second he got in the ring, but his matches against UltraMantis Black, Johnny Gargano and ACH were great. His best opponent, and his best partner, was the Walking Weapon, Josh Alexander. From Philly to Turners Hall, they had great, standout matches against each other, but they truly shined as Monster Mafia. With matches against Team Ambition, Zero Gravity and Kung-Fu Manchu, they became the stand-out team in a deep AAW tag division, and one of the fastest rising stars on the indies.

88. Veda Scott
Points: 477
Ballots: 12
Highest Vote Received: 6th Place (Brandon Stroud)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Brandon Stroud: Veda Scott is legit. She can do anything. She's one of those wrestlers where you like her immediately, but when you really stop to think about and notice all the places she's been, things she's done and accolades she's received in almost no time in the business, it's incredible. She should be at the very top of everyone's favorite female wrestlers list, and at the top of most of the gender-neutral ones.

87. Samoa Joe
Points:479
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 4th Place (Brock Lutefisk)
Last Year's Placement: 63rd Place

TH: I didn't watch a lot of TNA last year, but of the episodes of Impact I did catch, Joe was more often than not the standout performer if he had a match on the show. I don't pretend to know whether someone is "trying" from what I see on the screen, but Joe at least showed up and put his working boots on for the first part of the year last year. His inclusion on my ballot was due mostly for his match against Willie Mack at Championship Wrestling from Hollywood. Even with the shitty fancam video I watched (thanks, TNA's oppressive appearance policy for contracted talents appearing on outside dates!), I was amazed at his portion of the match. He brought good stiffness and gave Mack a lot to make the match live up to its dream potential.

86. Rey Mysterio
Points: 484
Ballots: 9
Highest Vote Received: 28th Place (Brandon Bosh, Joey Splashwater)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: Mysterio didn't make a lot of ring time this year, but when he was able to lace up the boots, he put in some standout matches in perhaps the finest in-ring year on free television in WWE history. He had a decent sprint with Daniel Bryan in February, and he did some pinball bumping after he came back from injury in the fall. For a guy whose knees are made of papier mache at this point, he still bumps hard to help bring out the best in any match he's in, and his high flying game, though diminished over the years, is still an attribute.

Brandon Spears: Shame on everybody that gives Rey Mysterio hell for working with the knees he has. Obviously, his best years are behind him and he's certainly not able to do what he used to, but he's still Rey Mysterio and he's still able to captivate a crowd. Respect

85. Ophidian
Points: 484 (Ranked ahead of Rey Mysterio based on highest vote tiebreaker)
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 13th Place (Philip Rosenbaum)
Last Year's Placement: 78th Place

TH: I had soured on Ophidian in 2012 because he had developed a habit of wrestling in long matches without a proper idea of how to pace them. Following that year, the most pleasant surprise of 2013 was that he worked the longest match at Aniversario: Never Compromise, and I thought it could have gone even longer. He and Amasis told a brilliant story, and then afterwards, they reunited and picked up right where they left off in the tag ranks, having great matches all across the Wrestlings Are family of promotions. This past years was a nice bounceback for the master of Snake Style.

John Rosenberger: His commitment to character and movement showcasing his unique style makes him impossible not to watch. See also, being a sucker for the Canadian Destroyer.

84. Natalya
Points:510
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 19th Place (Chris McDonald)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Scott T. Holland: Natalya earns points in my book more for her performances in the NXT ring than anywhere else, though her in-ring skill is not commensurate with her canonical reputation. Still, when given a bit of room to operate freely, she seems to understand her size as it relates to her competitors and is a worthy proving ground for the newer members of her division.

Mike Quackenbush's final in-ring year may have been 2013 Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

83. Mike Quackenbush
Points:516
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 17th Place (Danielle Matheson)
Last Year's Placement: 35th Place

TH: Quack may have wrestled his last match in 2013, but his in-ring career coda was impressive. He had an impressive run of mat-based sprints, including a too-short contest with Colt Cabana at National Pro Wrestling Day, an excellent finale in his series with Green Ant, and a rough-and-tumble match with Jaka at Wrestling Is Art's debut show. Quack may turn his attention more towards booking and announcing now, and while he'll succeed there, I will miss seeing him in the ring.

Dave Kincannon: Mike Quackenbush didn’t wrestle a lot in 2013. In fact, his last match of the year was in April, but those handful of matches were all so good, that it’s no surprise to me that he made the TWB 100.

Inside Chikara rings, he fought his former tag team partner, Jigsaw in a series of tag team and trios matches that culminated with, as of this writing, his last wrestling match. That match, at “The Shoulder of Pallas” during WrestleCon, saw Quack team with one of his heroes, Jushin “Thunder” Liger, and put on a clinic of mat wrestling and high flying. He put his already battered body through a lot, and was fortunate enough to come away with the win.

Outside of Chikara, Quackenbush had brilliant matches with the likes of Drew Gulak, Jaka and Green Ant. He also had a classic bout with Colt Cabana at National Pro Wrestling Day. These two men (along with referee Bryce Remsburg, who played a big part in the match) were able to use their bodies to create a piece of performance art that had me laughing out loud and applauding while sitting on my couch over 1700 miles away.

82. Kazarian
Points: 517
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 21st Place (Chris Harrington)
Last Year's Placement: 64th Place

81. Fire Ant
Points: 522
Ballots: 11
Highest Vote Received: 20th Place (John Rosenberger)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH:Fire Ant spent most of 2013 lost in the storyline portion of wrestling, but he was a great, if a little more subdued than usual, complement to Green Ant in tag matches. He was a bit more versatile than in previous years, but when he broke out his high spots, he nailed them for the most part. I also dug his work as more of a straight man to the whacked-out stylings of Los Ice Creams at various points of the year.

80. Hallowicked
Points: 531
Ballots: 11th Place
Highest Vote Received: 21st Place (Philip Rosenbaum)
Last Year's Placement: 54th Place

TH: I didn't see a lot of Hallowicked in 2013 in singles matches, but he did well in tags and trios matches. He added physical counterweight to Frightmare and did well taking the hot tag. I thought 2013 was a surprisingly low key year in terms of spotlight for 'Wicked, but he made the most of it in the ring, especially against the Colony: X-Treme Force at Aniversario and against the Wrecking Crew at the Wrestling Is Fun! Norristown show in the fall.

79. Cheerleader Melissa
Points: 546
Ballots: 7
Highest Vote Received: 4th Place (Willow Maclay)
Last Year's Placement: 87th Place

78. Chris Dickinson
Points: 554
Ballots: 8
Highest Vote Received: 8th Place (Alex Torres)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Alex Torres: Chris Dickinson is possibly actually crazy, and that's what makes him so compelling to watch. Dickinson's presence has helped mold ISW and CZW shows into more complete cards, and he has standout matches where ever he goes. Only Chris Dickinson can stop himself from being one of the most important names in indie wrestling.

Joe Roche: When you watch a Chris Dickinson match, there is a very real chance that you're watching someone shoot trying to hurt his opponent. I honestly have no idea if Dickinson is the one of the most convincing professional wrestlers in the world, or just an asshole who is trying to hurt people. I think this is a compliment to Dickinson, or it's very close to the truth and the next time he sees me, he might try to harm me. Dickinson had a really fun knockdown drag out brawl with Tommaso Ciampa in Beyond Wrestling (and another one with Kevin Steen), he also had some really good performances in CZW that put him on this list. Dickinson has the ability to be very funny in the ring. However, his kicks are brutal, his chops are stiff and he does things (like suplex a guy off a balcony stage) that just seems like it's being done by an actual psychopath.

Rob Pandola: The living, breathing embodiment of old school AJPW. An underrated submission game. One of the hardest, most viscous kickers I've ever seen live AND one of the best shit talkers. Three of the most painful looking finishers in wrestling (The Brain Eater, Burning Hammer and The Pazuzu Bomb). A great brawler, as his matches in AIW against Necro Butcher, Masada and Matt Tremont will attest to. He could hang with high flyers like AR Fox and technical wunderkinds like Drew Gulak. He's one of the reasons I love watching Beyond and ISW. Put all that together, and you have one of the most entertaining wrestlers to watch in a year where a lot of personalities broke thru. PAZUZU AWAITS!!!

Frank McCormick: I'm not a natural Chris Dickinson constituent. He's a macho meathead, misogynist, and homophobe. He's more than a bit scuzzy, and I don't really like scuzzy. But despite all of this, as I've gotten to see Dickinson go in WSU and ISW, I have to admit to being impressed. He's good, and he's hard-hitting, and you can't say he isn't committed to the scuzziness in his character (?). (And if WSU, where he bumps as hard for the women as the men, is any indication, Chris Dickinson the person, not the character, is a thorough professional, which is to his credit. Of course, these matches also usually involve oral sex sight gags, so...) If a wrestler makes you like him or her despite yourself, you have to give them their due props.

TJ Hawke: For a man who is often in the headlines (ie: talked about on Twitter) for the wrong reasons, Dickinson worked with a variety of promoters in 2013 (some of whom are not known for playing well with others). The man competed in Wrestling Is, CZW, AIW, AAW, ISW, Beyond Wrestling, and a few others (the fact that anyone was working for Deej, Quack, and ISDub at the same time was incredibly odd to me). More importantly than any of that scenery though is that Dickinson delivered memorable performances in just about every company he worked for. In a lean year for greatness in independent wrestling, Dickinson's accomplishments stood out to me more.

Ethan Carter III's TNA debut saw him arm dragging his future lackey across the ring Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

77. Michael Hutter/Derrick Bateman/Ethan Carter III
Points: 561
Ballots: 10
Highest Vote Received: 5th Place (Brandon Stroud)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

Alex Torres: He's one sweet dude.

Mike Pankowski: TNA obviously does not do a lot of things right. But one of their best moves was bringing in the former Derrick Bateman and giving him the opportunity that the WWE never gave him. He does a great job of portraying his character in the ring while showing his power in the ring. I’m glad to see him get a chance to show off his potential.

Brandon Spears: It warms my heart to see that Derrick Bateman is consistently the best thing on TNA television, though it shouldn't surprise anyone. Carter carries an air of arrogance with him that is just plain fun to watch even when he's met with his comeuppance.

Brandon Stroud: When people get released from WWE, no matter who they are, people jump to defend them. OH I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GUY GOT RELEASED. THEY JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO USE HIM. THEY DIDN'T USE HIM RIGHT. ECIII is the only time I've ever really done that as a functioning adult. The timing was bad for him there, and he got injured at the worst possible times ... and then he showed up on Impact as the one ex-WWE guy who didn't FEEL like an ex-WWE guy. He feels new. Exciting. Really weird. On top of that he keeps getting better in the ring, and he's got that hyper professional wrestling training so he KNOWS how to wrestle on television. He gets it more than almost anyone else in the company, especially out of the young guys.

If TNA's going to sign goobers like Gunner to long term contracts, EC3 needs one of those decade-long Mark Henry deals.

76. Fandango
Points: 59
Ballots: 12
Highest Vote Received: 28th Place (Angelo Castillo)
Last Year's Placement: Not Ranked

TH: Fandango, after a hot debut, got shoved into midcard comedy matches right quick. Despite the lack of focus, he did the yeoman's work and made every match he was in better to watch for his inclusion. He was one of WWE's best heel workers, and he made use of crowd work and taunting better than a good percentage of the roster. He also took some big bumps in the Money in the Bank ladder match. I wish he would change his finisher up, because he's not going to last long doing the guillotine leg drop. Either way, he was a notable bright spot on a strong WWE roster last year.

Andrew Rosin: Even if it was just for one night, Fandango was the most popular wrestler in the world.

Tomorrow, the second quarter…

The vertical suplex is the most basic "move" in pro wrestling. Everyone does it. Everyone. But one person chained three together with the panache and style to make them a signature maneuver in the ring. Eddie Guerrero really was the GOAT, wasn't he?

RED BELLY Rides Again Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- The Mandible Claw podcast, episode 21: the show about nothing [The Mandible Claw]

- The Heart Is RAW: The Question [International Object]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: Good News for People Who Like Bad News Barrett [With Leather]

- The most incredible single night of wrestling ever [Voices of Wrestling]

- WWE superstars answer the important questions [SB Nation]

- SHIMMER vol. 63 and 64 gallery [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- Cewsh Reviews SHIMMER Review Spectacular [Vol. 63|Vol. 64|Vol. 65]

- Are professional wrestlers dying at an abnormal rate? [Five Thirty-Eight]

- WWF Wrestler Mortality, 5+ PPVs [Indeed Wrestling]

- Global Force Wrestling: Success in four easy steps [Camel Clutch Blog]

- The Rise of Daniel Bryan [Voices of Wrestling]

- Detroit Wrestling: There will be blood [Grantland]

- Body slam this! Ancient wrestling match was fixed [Live Science]

- "Some people take wrestling way too seriously" [Alluctor]

- The Best and Worst of Impact: Lions and Tigers and Bros, Oh My! [With Leather]

- Ringside Cinema: Paradise Alley [Old School Jabronis]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- We need to take a deep breath and calm the fuck down about spoilers [Jezebel]

- Things are getting ridiculous between Ron Jaworski and Johnny Manziel [Awful Announcing]

- Jon and Spencer's NFL Draft scouting report [SB Nation]

- The NFC East all-misfit quarterback team [Bleeding Green Nation]

- The ten biggest draft expert misses in history [Awful Announcing]

- Five responses to Mark Emmert's anti-union 'CFL players' comments [SB Nation]

- Cosmos explains why big business always gets in the way of science [io9]

- The mega-rich get the best government welfare [Gawker]

- The lost empire that ruled the Silk Road [io9]

- It's relevant [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- Josh Lueke is a rapist, pass it on [Deadspin]

- I was shot and raped by a FSU football player. I still root for the Seminoles. [Deadspin]

- Bros, this is how your slut-shaming is backfiring. A sex researcher explains. [Playboy SFW]

- Five recent trends that make it hard to trust police, pt. 2 [Cracked]

- How to hard-boil eggs, for godly or ungodly purposes [Foodspin]

- Candy bars, ranked [Kitchenette]

- This is why we're the atheist generation [Jezebel]