Zayn transitioned from the indies to NXT cleaner than one of his patented dropkicks Photo Credit: WWE.com

New name but still in the top five…

4. Sami Zayn/El Generico
Points: 4090
Ballots: 45
Highest Vote Received:1st Place (Brandon Spears, Pablo Alva)
Last Year's Placement: 5th Place

TH: I had my doubts as to whether El Generico could lose the mask and succeed in WWE on a character level, but I never for a second thought he would get lost in the shuffle in the ring. A man as innately talented and essentially magnetic as he would find a way to translate his successes as the Generic Luchador into whatever WWE had in store for him. That isn't to say that I knew he would ascend to the heights to which he did in his first year with the company; while projecting abstract streaks or thinking about opponents he might have done well against was an easy task, pinpointing that he and Antonio Cesaro would have as perfect a match as they did in their two-out-of-three falls match in August would have been nigh impossible.

But the beauty of the structure of NXT provided Zayn to jump right from a spotlighted stage, in this case the DDT4 Tournament in PWG that served as his swan song not only to that company, but to an independent scene that had been indebted to him in the last five years, right onto another one. Without needing to carry three hours of prime television, a house show tour, and the scrutiny that comes with headlining major WWE shows, Zayn could show up to Full Sail, get in the ring, and just do his thing like he'd never left the armories and theaters. Aside from gear, the only difference was that he'd have to cut out some of his more risqué moves.

But the beauty of El Generico was never his brainbusters or his dangerous suplexes. Sure, those moves were fun to watch, but even when he was circling the ring, sizing up an opponent to start the match, his ebullience gave the viewer something to watch, something to grasp onto when most wrestlers usually gave nothing. He honed those skills even further, and in the process got to wrestle against a whole new set of wrestlers, whether familiar like Cesaro, or brand new like Bo Dallas and Jack Swagger. Zayn is here to stay, and luckily for us, he is going to be just as good if not better than how he was on the indies. This past year was a fine place for him to start crafting his legend in new environs.

David Kincannon: 2013 started out with the man known as El Generico’s good bye to the independent wrestling scene, as it was reported in early January that he had been signed to WWE’s developmental system. He teamed with longtime friend and foe, Kevin Steen for the DDT Tag Team Tournament in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, in a series of hard fought matches that saw them lose in the finals to the Young Bucks.

He would have a few more independent matches in January, before reporting to NXT, where he showed up in the El Generico mask at a house show in February. It would be another few months before we learned what WWE would do with the masked superstar, and after working a few NXT house shows under his real name, he made his NXT television debut as Sami Zayn. On the May 22 edition of NXT, he defeated Curt Hawkins, and then scored an upset victory over Antonio Cesaro, which would start a feud that led to two of the best matches of 2013.

Via the NXT platform, he has been able to show WWE fans who don’t watch independent wrestling things they’ve never seen. When I think of his matches with Cesaro, the first thing that comes to mind is his dive through the turnbuckles that ended in a Tornado DDT. Hopefully, in 2014, we’ll see him on the main WWE roster, and he can give us those moments every Monday and Friday night.

Martin Bentley: In 2013, El Generico retired to work at his orphanage, saying farewell after a hell of an effort at PWG's DDT4 tournament.

Then later that year, a new wrestler debuted at NXT, who seemed to have a very similar body, and did very similar moves, but whose face we didn't recognize. He even came from the same place in Canada that Generico lived in during his wrestling career. However, Kevin Steen denies knowing this guy.

This Sami Zayn guy proved to be a heck of a wrestler. He proved this on his first appearance on TV, when he knocked off both Curt Hawkins and Antonio Cesaro. This led to a lengthy series with the man later dubbed "The King of Swing", including an all-time classic in August that many felt was the best match on any WWE show all year. Anyone Zayn was put with on NXT TV, he knocked it out of the park with. He even gave Jack Swagger one of his best ever matches.

Zayn would have got a higher spot in my Top 10 if only he had hooked up with Renee Young like we all wanted (that sly dog Dean Ambrose has been rumoured to have beaten him to it). Other than that, he's the reason to watch the damn show, and he should be on the main roster like a year ago. Generico would be proud watching from the orphanage.

Joe Roche: If El Generico had just gone to Mexico after DDT4 he'd still be on this list because his work over the course of that tournament was just that good. However, from the ashes of the Generic Luchador came Sami Zayn who is so great that he turned Antonio Cesaro from a guy some people were talking about being released, to a guy with a legitimate huge spot at WrestleMania XXX. If you don't think Zayn's work selling for Cesaro (and vice versa) in NXT led directly to Cesaro's explosion than you weren't paying attention. Pre-Sami Zayn Cesaro was yodeling to the ring on Smackdown -- that is a THING THAT WAS HAPPENING. Post Swiss Death to Sami Zayn Cesaro is one of the shoot five most popular guys in the company.

Joey O."Match Of The Year! Match Of The Year!"

Tristan Wolfe: If you don't watch NXT, watch it now. Seriously. It's the best product that the WWE produces. Sorry, Raw. I don't know WHERE they found this Sami Zayn guy (there are some conflicting reports that claim he's from Canada and Mexico), but I think this kid might have a future in the business. I'm personally still trying to figure out why the fans keep chanting for Los Matadores when he comes out...even months before Los Matadores debuted...but I digress. In a very short amount of time, Sami Zayn debuted and became the top guy in NXT, even if he didn't have a belt around his waist. I don't even know why I'm writing this explanation right now. Just go watch the match with Antonio Cesaro on NXT. If you've already watched it, just do it again.

Mike Pankowski: I was a terrible person and did not watch a lot of the former El Generico’s work prior to his turn in the WWE. Seeing him in action now shows me that I have missed out a lot. He is one of the best sellers in wrestling today. His moves, from his Blue Thunder Bomb to his dives to the floor, all look so smooth. I look forward to him getting the call up to the main roster this year and putting out 20 minutes matches on Raw.

Brandon Spears: For my money, there isn't a better "babyface in peril" able to captivate a crowd with every move and facial expression in any company, which is saying something considering Daniel Bryan's amazing nine month storyline with The Authority. Still can't believe he spent the majority of his career wearing a mask.

De O'Brien: From the minute it was announced that WWE had made a new acquisition in the form of one Mr. Sami Zayn, the hearts and minds of wrestling fans even remotely in the know caught fire. Zayn – rumored to have performed under another name for years, although nothing has ever been corroborated – came to the WWE as part of NXT in January of 2013, although it seems like he’s been one of the guys forever; during his debut on the May 22nd, 2013, NXT show, Zayn made his indelible mark by beating not one, but two former champions in WWE: Curt Hawkins, and then Cesaro. Zayn and Cesaro would continue to face one another throughout the year, but no matter who you put Sami in the ring with throughout 2013 (Bo Dallas, Leo Kruger, Jack Swagger), he proved he was more than just some generic guy with a slight knowledge of cool-looking lucha moves. That Helluva kick is no joke, and his through-the-ropes-tornado DDT is the stuff dreams – and aches and pains for his opponents – are made of.

Brandon Bosh: A tip for all incumbent NXT performers (or, for that matter, all aspiring wrestlers ever): wear a mask. As a human being, your face is your most dynamic and versatile tool in articulating any emotion, be it happiness or rage, impatience or dread. When you conceal your face, your only course of action is to train your body to speak in the same universal language. Every movement must be louder, more vivid, in order to compensate. A masked wrestler is not unlike a performer in a silent film, forced to overcome a handicap by accentuating his remaining assets. The reward for enduring this trial is a deeper connection to the pro wrestling Oversoul, a personal relationship with every wrestling fan who will ever watch you perform. No wrestler has proven this truth more emphatically than the man formerly known as El Generico.

Sami Zayn is the best pure wrestler on the WWE roster despite technically not being on the WWE roster. His in-ring dexterity is seemingly limitless, his athleticism unrivaled, his moveset dazzlingly unorthodox. He averages less than one botched maneuver per calendar year. He can do that spot where he dives through the ropes on the outside of the corner of the ring and comes out the other side and does a tornado DDT. Why? Because he’s fucking awesome.

And yet, the most amazing thing about Sami Zayn is his ability to project for an audience of any size. As a brand, WWE prides itself on close-quarters, psychology-inflected ring work, but it still has to cater to the people in the cheap seats. That’s why you need a wrestler like Sami Zayn, who emotes in grand, exaggerated gestures that resonate from a thousand yards away. He’s the Buster Keaton of pro wrestling, a fearless performer who transcends the perceived limitations of an outmoded medium – and insists on doing all his own stunts.

I'd be acting disingenuously if I said I was shocked at the backlash the 619 gets. The continual contrivances to get people in position for the move can get a little, well, deus ex machina-y, but honestly, I am not bothered by them. To me, part of the story is that crafty veteran Rey Mysterio knows how to get people draped over the ropes so he can do his signature spin kick to the face, and he uses every means necessary. Plus, the actual kick itself still looks badass today.

Kana, as a clown? No laughing matter, I'd say Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS (link below)

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- SHIMMER Vols. 65 and 66 [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- SHIMMER Vol. 66 Review Spectacular [Cewsh Reviews]

- Our friend, Daniel Bryan [WRESTLEGASM]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: I Am Damien Sandow, Master of Magnets [With Leather]

- NYWC: Angry Andy reviews April Reign [Juice Make Sugar]

- AAW Point of No Return 2014 [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- Why I'm standing in line to meet Mick Foley this weekend [Powder Room]

- Seven Things: Worst wrestling factions [Wrestling on Earth]

- The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling: We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes [With Leather]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Donald Sterling is finally drawing ire for his racist remarks [Sports on Earth]

- Excuse me if I don't drink Homeboy Sandman's "Black People Are Cowards" Kool-Aid [The Smoking Section]

- Your complete guide to Donald Sterling's racism [Deadspin]

- The non-sports fans' guide to Donald Sterling [Gawker]

- Welcome to the Finger-Wagging Olympics [Time]

- Clippers Donald Sterling: once a racist, always a racist [The Smoking Section]

- Patton Oswalt responds to imbecile rancher Cliven Bundy [UPROXX]

- Guy Fieri's new restaurant, insane menu item by insane menu item [Kitchenette]

- The Swarthmore Co-op Food-Truck-A-Thon IV: THIS TIME, IT'S EDIBLE [Holzerman Hungers]

- Homemade tomato soup is easier (and better) than you think [Foodspin]

- Cookin' AND Drinkin' ATVS Style: Chile-infused Tequila [And the Valley Shook]

- How to make fish tacos, perfection now and forever [Foodspin]

- Up close on baseball's borders [NY Times]

- Michael Pineda, pine tar, and the marsupial world of baseball [Amazin' Avenue]

- Pine tar should be fully legal, and why baseball is still insane [Deadspin]

- Why Gerrit Cole wasn't suspended [SB Nation]

- Harsh reality break: 234 girls kidnapped from physics test [Space]

- It's time for the FCC to stand up for Americans instead of ruining the Internet [The Verge]

- The origins of amateurism, or why college sports are so fucked up [Deadspin]

- The SEC Worst-Case Scenario Preview [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- Star Wars: Episode VII cast announced [The Verge]

- Hey Star Wars, where the hell are the women? [io9]

- Star Wars: Episode VII cast ANNOUNCED! [Dorkly]

- Tywin Lannister goes on Shark Tank with an interesting proposal [Warming Glow]

- The 15 most interesting tidbits from George RR Martin's Rolling Stone interview [Pajiba]

- The Istanbul Derby [SB Nation Longform]

- ET found in New Mexico landfill [Kotaku]

Michelle McCool's been retired to be Mrs. Taker for a while and Layla wasn't anywhere in sight, but damn if that got in the way of this being an absolutely flawless episode of Main Event.  Three great sprint matches set the table for a two-segger--well, main event--where the outcome was in doubt, the action was hard-hitting, and the whole thing felt like an amuse bouche not just for the upcoming "special" on Sunday (what the Kizarny are we calling Those Which Used To Be Pay-Per-Views, anywhoozle?) but sowing some tasty seeds for some possible post Extreme Rules as well.

It's hard to say who was what in the peanut butter cup of awesome that took up the bulk of the show, though given Sheamus' being melatonally challenged he probably isn't going to be a chocolate anything ever.  Nevertheless, the throwdown with Bray Wyatt was everything you'd expect it to be: fun and violent.  Thwarting expectations while both men remained rooted to the characters on display, appropriately at times it looked like two drunks in a alley behind the bar fight.  Not only that, the crowd was into it from the outset. The baseline of cheers and boos stayed roughly at about 60/40 for the duration but both men found themselves on both sides of the equation which added to the feeling of "hey, why isn't this a feud and/or match on a monthly special?" that manifested the moment it was announced.  Most hilariously (and impactful since the shots were connecting so hard at times the ring mics picked them up), early on Bray managed to land a pretty nasty uppercut and then Sheamus took to clubberin' the way Chris Rock's dad felt about Tussin.

There were a couple of kneedrops in there but for the most part it was my fist, your face.  Against Sheamus usually, this probably would've been enough, but it turns out when you're fighting a cult leader sometimes there's PEDs in the Kool-Aid.  The second act was like a Jenga stack made out of blocks of deliciously escalating violence: apron DDTs, avalanche high knees, uranagis properly called, et al.  When Big Irish got distracted by the possibility of having lamb mask before the main course it set him up to get introduced to Bray's Sister, and only a post-match save from the Usos saved him from a beatdown.  My word, yes.  More of this singular, more of it plural. Six man tags are so fetch right now.

But before that went down, there were three matches that made up in quality what they lacked in quantity.  All of them clocked in at under five or six minutes yet were all so energetic and well-worked they almost nullified the fun sizedness of the clock.

You'd think the Bad News for Kofi Kingston was the perpetual amber his career's trapped in, and, really, in his case there was only one thing worse: executing a successful counter to a whip into the steps by leaping over them and coming back to use them as a springboard for offense of his own; yet somehow it was as if Wade Barrett had wrestled him before and it was as such that he gave him a ferocious forearm right in the mug so timely and note perfect it stopped the WWE's replay machine so that he could roll him back into the ring and win the match as a result.  Even better, the camera was nearly merged into Wade's back so there was momentarily the thrill of Kofi leaping into one's living room only to catch the backalley dentist of a strike at the worst possible time.  He went full Icarus.  You never go full Icarus.  About the only thing stopping Barrett from being fully cheered by the audience at this point is his pre-match snark and his refusal to yell "BULLHAMMER TIME, FOOL" before he murks somebody.

Before that, there was a Paige/Alicia Fox rematch that would make one woo-hoo even if there was no chance they had been feeling heavy metal or pins and needles before it happened.  When people collar and elbow so fiercely they go spilling between the ropes and keep trying to get the upper hand on the floor it means two things: a) they love wrestling b) about as much as they hate but respect the person on the other end of this.  Paige snapped off another trademark hard kick to set up a huracanrana off the apron and while we're wishing for future matches and Late Late Night with Anna Kendrick and all that how's about Paige win this best of five the next go-round with a match that gets something closer to 10 minutes hmm?

While she didn't uncork the Best Northern Lights in the Business, Foxy's kick to the face may've been even better and sure got Paige ready for Tamina on Sunday even before the latter came out post-match and cracked her neck in the Champ's direction after sneaking up on her.  At one moment, they were fighting over a suplex (that's right, kids, they let divas fight over a suplex and it actually looked like a legitimate fight that could go either way) and the next Paige had just flatlined Alicia with a modified fisherman's buster that drew oohs and aahs from the crowd to finish her off.  Make no mistake about it: while she's barely drinking age on this side of the pond WWE's own dark Knight has found more ways to end things than Return of the King and the whole division's better off for it, whether all of them can hang or not.

And to kick off the show, Goldust triumphed over Alberto del Rio.  From a CV perspective this may've been the biggest win of Goldust's singles career since he came  back, no matter how jarring and quick it was that Cut was certainly Final.  Alberto went from taunting Cody to counting the lights just 24 hours after he'd metaphorically done it to him (see also uppence, come).  So in came The Lovely Renee Young to ask the questions that the older brother succeeding where the younger didn't especially after their team seems to have sputtered to a halt if not its demise will bring up and certainly will not at all in any way shape or form look good in any sort of future video package (see also shadowing shadowing shadowing shadowing).  Goldust thought it was ludicrous she'd even ask even though it would've been more ludicrous for her not to and Cody immediately jumping to a "Are you saying he's better than me?" that didn't reek of jealousy if your nose doesn't exist.  Make no mistake about it, the countdown to Cody kicking Dustin's leg out from under his leg is on, no matter how quickly the latter put the blanket on the smoldering embers of his brother's rage.  Which is weird, because Cody historically hasn't taken a little thing and blown it out of proportion before.

And yet, all of it was of a piece, and brought us all one step closer to being in front of some kind of monitor for Extreme Rules.  There'll be bigger shows, but good look to Stamford putting on a better hour in totality this year than the one they put on here in the third-tier show days before the signature event.  Don't tell me WWE's not Scrooge McDucking it with the embarrassment of riches their roster is right now.

Rollins was known for his battles with the Rhodes Boys in 2013 Photo Credit: WWE.com

The final member of the best trio in WWE history…

3. Seth Rollins
Points: 4255
Ballots:47
Highest Vote Received: 2nd Place (Joey Splashwater, Willow Maclay)
Last Year's Placement: 19th Place

TH: Seth Rollins was the danger. Sure, that danger was mostly to himself in 2013. As The Shield's designated prop dive and absorber of all bumps large and hideous, Rollins reinvented ragdolling and co-opted the Ziggler scale for himself. But his stunt falls and ridiculous selling had a far grander purpose than shock. The Shield as a group was an impenetrable wall in the win/loss column, but that kind of dominance is no fun if it plays out in the ring just like it appears on paper. Rollins was instant vulnerability for the group, not only adding extra "wow" factor to the matches, but helping protect the aura of Roman Reigns mostly, a suave leviathan who needed to look as beastly as possible. As any giant will tell you, prop bumping doesn't make the werewolf look cool.

But Rollins being the best possible Jeff Hardy (and full disclosure, I LIKE Jeff Hardy a lot as a wrestler/in-ring performer) as a proxy for Reigns in all situations and the deceptive and cunning Dean Ambrose in trios matches brought balance to the group. Ambrose schemed, Reigns smashed, Rollins died. The formula was perfect in its basic state, and it left an infinite space of room in which to create. Rollins, as the one creating that chaos with his own body, had the most freedom since he was the one whose reactions depended most on the actions of others. He also did the most with his role, which cannot be understated.

I had other reasons for ranking Rollins the highest among the three members of the group. He had the best singles matches of the three – most notably twice with Daniel Bryan and another with Goldust on Main Event – and he has the best finisher, the Blackout. No matter what, the fact that Rollins went from a guy I groaned whenever he'd hit the ring in ROH to one of the best performers in the biggest wrestling company in the world speaks to several things, all of them insanely positive.

Tristan Wolfe: Seth Rollins is going to kill himself. Someone needs to stop him now. The risks he's taken in 2013 in addition to just solid ring work have really made him stand out in 2013. Don't get me wrong, Roman Reigns is a beast and he' s became really good in a short amount of time, but Seth Rollins has just been a crazy man in 2013.

Frank McCormick: Like Luke Harper, Seth Rollins isn't necessarily the "star" of his stable (though I think that's changing in 2014), but to my mind he is. The man has absolutely no regard for his body, leaping, planchaing, and bumping like there is no such thing as "prematurely ended careers." I worry for his future, even as I delight in his work.

Joey Splashwater: The Shield delivered the consistently best matches in 2013 and for an in ring perspective, the leader was clearly Seth Rollins. I credit him with being the MVP in most of The Shield's tag matches and trio matches plus in singles matches, he definitely stood out most in some incredible outings vs. Daniel Bryan. Regarded as the third banana of The Shield when they debuted, Seth Rollins in ring work as pushed that thought to the side and would have been the best wrestler in just about any other year.

Brock Lutefisk: I probably should have all three Shield guys higher than they are. In my mind, Rollins is probably the best out of all three. His work in the ring stood out among all three members during 2013. I’m pretty sure he’ll be in my top 10 next year.

Might fans see this presence in a NXT/WWE ring sooner rather than later? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Via Cageside Seats

Three months ago, KENTA pledged lukewarm support for staying in Pro Wrestling NOAH after an extended tryout with WWE in Florida. Now, he's announced his resignation from the company, with his final match scheduled for May 17. Rumors are swirling that he's on his way to WWE (with one stating that if he's signed, it'll be at Daniel Bryan's recommendation), but as of right now, nothing is official. Resigning from NOAH indicates that a WWE signing could happen, because NOAH and New Japan have done talent sharing deals in the past, most notably with Kota Ibushi. As of right now, every rumor is just that, a rumor.

With KENTA and Prince Devitt rumored to be on WWE's radar, the whispered-about cruiserweight show for The Network seems to be more Legends House than rebranding-RAW-or-Smackdown-as-Nitro in terms of imminence for the company. That option is certainly possible, but I wonder if WWE is gearing up to have more of a Japanese presence. I am not sure how a cultural wrestling invasion would go over in the company, but never count out Vince McMahon from trying to conquer new territory. I am not saying I'd support such an endeavor, because the last thing the wrestling world needs is for WWE to pillage the puroresu scene like it has the lucha scene in Mexico. But the man didn't get a reputation as a megalomaniac for nothing...

He entertained as Magneto, but why won't WWE let Sandow do more? Photo Credit: WWE.com

In a perfect world, everyone would get the proportionate responsibility or role at work according to their talent levels. As nearly everyone who has ever attempted to get into the workforce can attest, that case is an ideal that is hard to attain. If you are reading this post and you have never been overqualified for a job you had, you truly lead a charmed life. In this turbulent economy, having any job can feel like a victory, but at the same time, if you go to school for advanced training, only to be an infernal, eternal understudy to someone who got the job because he knew someone, working in a role that is too easy, regardless of the paygrade (which to be fair usually is way below what the upper positions requiring specialization are), can feel frustrating. Most of jobs, however, are not in the public eye, and thus are fodder for family, friends, and co-workers to kvetch over rather than the crowd doing so in referendum.

Damien Sandow, however, is obviously and painfully in a public position working in a role within WWE that he is woefully overqualified for. His turn as dime store Magneto Monday was the latest in a series of "court jester" vignettes where he was set up to be an obvious and immediate punchline for instant gratification to the crowd. No doubt the man is good at what he's doing; crowds react to him getting hip-tossed by celebrities or knocked the fuck out by The Big Show because he can rile them up in short bursts of time. However, the problem is that he's been typecast into a role that maybe isn't beneath him inasmuch as it only utilizes a fraction of his talent.

On one hand, Sandow has a job with the most lucrative company in the world. Whether that job allows him to make the most use of his immense talents or not is irrelevant. He's probably making decent coin relative to his peers, and he's definitely better off than anyone else in an American wrestling company save for the tippy-top of the card in TNA. To bemoan his state within the company or feel bad at how he's "misused" feels a bit selfish without knowing exactly how he feels about his role.

Then again, if someone has shown the ability to perform at a higher capacity than what they currently are doing, then is the crime of wasted potential greater than any desire to stay with the less-demanding role? Regardless of desire of the performer/company or the efficacy of current role, if a wrestler excels at something better than what he or she is doing at the current time, all parties involved would be better served at advancement and letting the people who have fewer dimensions occupy those lesser roles. It's not like Sandow hasn't shown proficiency in something other than the instant punchline.

He's proven that he's an able and excellent villainous wrestler within the ring, a quality that bodes exceedingly well for a wrestler to have long term viability as a black hat. The fact that he's had stellar showcase matches with opponents like Dolph Ziggler, John Cena, and Sheamus (two out of three who are clearly in WWE's long term plans at least) should point to him as at the very least a strong, heat-mongering opponent for a B special event who can provide a solid payoff match. His absolute ceiling, at least in my estimation, is as a top-level heel who can headline WrestleMania, one of the only current non-established wrestlers whom I think can do so from that side of the ledger. Obviously, he's not going to get to that plateau by dressing up like a supervillain and getting his ass handed to him by a celebrity who can barely perform the most basic offensive maneuver in pro wrestling.

I'm not saying that Sandow can't dabble in those kinds of exercises in pro wrestling pageantry and excess, but when the only thing he's doing is getting stripped of the things that made him special and showing his ass for instant gratification, something is wrong with the picture. He's doing the wrestling equivalent of "Charlie work" when WWE already has at least one trio of perfectly capable Charlie Kelly-types in 3MB. Then again, Drew McIntyre definitely is in the same boat as Sandow, while Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal might also qualify. That premise is fodder for a whole other argument.

The greatest disappointment in an art such as wrestling is to waste potential. Sandow is good as the comically overmatched blowhard served up for a cheap pop, but he can do better. Much like your company probably can give you a better platform and more responsibilities, WWE can certainly let Sandow spread his wings a little bit wider. Even if sometimes, the buzz around his lot in the company can be wrong-headed, it still comes from a place of empathy. Much like the vocal viewers who may or may not be frustrated with the dead end natures of their jobs, Sandow feels like he's as far as he could go with this role and could use something a bit more complex and meaty. For those fans, living vicariously through him as a symbol is never a bad thing.

Cesaro's matches with Zayn were a huge reason why he ascended to #2 on this year's countdown Photo Credit: WWE.com

A Swiss superhero…

2. Antonio Cesaro
Points: 4460
Ballots:47
Highest Vote Received:1st Place (Angelo Castillo, Samuel DiMascio, Tristan Wolfe, Dylan Hales, Danielle Matheson)
Last Year's Placement: 4th Place

TH: Awhile back on one of my epic Tweet Bags, someone submitted a question that read "what would happen if Cesaro wrestled outdoors and received the full effects of Earth's yellow Sun?" I was struck dumb and couldn't answer it with anything more than a .gif of Orson Welles clapping enthusiastically, because that asker had pretty much encapsulated Cesaro's ability with one, semi-jokey question. Cesaro is one guy for whom his nickname is a tailored fit, and if he were to incorporate literal flight into his match routine, I would not be the least bit surprised. In 2013 though, I'd say Clark Kent/Kal-El wore Real American pajamas.

The feats of strength are well-documented, but the impressiveness does not reside in him picking up men twice as large as he and putting them down (violently). The one staple of the WWE over its history is that Vince McMahon will most certainly provide viewers with large men performing superhuman tasks in a way that would make the average display of power in a "legitimate" professional sport look like gathering playing cards. John Cena has Attitudinally Adjusted two men at the same time on the reg, sometimes with one of those men being Big Show. Ryback has given Shellshockeds to the largest men on the roster. Mark Henry, Brock Lesnar, Hulk Hogan, even Bob Goddamn Backlund paraded around the ring lifting absurd amounts of manflesh before dropping it like it was literally hot.

But the way Cesaro was able to make his Giant Swings and his Neutralizers look extra impressive was what set him apart from the rest of the crowd. Ryback lifts a larger wrestler up in the Shellshocked, and it looks a little too easy, almost as if the people involved aren't judicious enough in keeping the "secret" - that the guy taking the move is helping get himself upon the shoulders. But with Cesaro, he's either shoot picking these masses of humanity up himself with no help, or he knows how to hide the participation aspect of these moves so well that it looks like a straight deadlift. Either way, the slight struggle and awkwardness makes his hossery far more impressive looking than anyone else doing the strongman act. The big things are what get a competitor noticed, but the little things such as that start to propel that performer up into the most rarefied of airs.

And of course, Cesaro wasn't just second on my ballot because he could easily toss around anyone put in front of him. Sure, he did so in the context of wrestling matches, but you need to do more than that. Thankfully, he owned both singles and tag matches, the latter partnering with Jack Swagger producing the best double team offense in WWE. He was involved in the best pure in-ring feud of 2013 against Sami Zayn, which produced the best match in NXT history (until the one that came after it in 2014). He had a knack for timing, which was ultimately important since his best signature move - the pop up European uppercut/Swiss Death - is supremely reliant on a perfect exchange. And he got the goddamn Big Swing over as a big crowd-popping spot. If his 2013 had happened in any other year, or if Daniel Bryan's mammoth year had taken place in another calendar frame, I would be talking about Cesaro as having one of the best overall, #1 vote years ever. But regardless of who was better than him or not, he was a huge part of WWE's finest in-ring year in its history, and he should get all the praise in the world.

David Kincannon: Most people will probably boil down Antonio Cesaro’s 2013 to his matches with Sami Zayn, but his year was so much more than those NXT matches, as spectacular as they were. He also had great matches with Daniel Bryan and William Regal. He was even able to, in my estimation, get two really good matches out of Kofi Kingston on Main Event in May and September. He was also part of the better of the two Money in the Bank ladder matches at the eponymous event. In that match he delivered one of my favorite spots, when he deadlifted Cody Rhodes in the gutwrench position, and dropped him onto a ladder.

Ryan Kilma: In Daniel Bryan's Rolling Stone interview, he mentioned how the popularity of his sports' biggest stars was directly correlated with the atmosphere of their respective zeitgeist. DB: "When you look at Austin, if he'd happened in different eras, he would have been hated. Hulk Hogan, if he came out saying 'America, take your vitamins,' and he's this jacked-up dude, you would get people going, 'Wait what? I hate this guy.'" Keeping this is mind, even with wrestling culture constantly evolving, if Antonio Cesaro were to hop into a DeLorean (on loan from CHIKARA), he'd be welcomed with open arms wherever (whenever) he ends up. I can imagine wrenching a cravat on Lou Thesz in grainy low definition while two announcers who sound entrapped in a greenhouse mutter quietly. Or fitting in seamlessly with the oily granite sculptures of the 80's. Or swinging the Blue Meanie around 100+ revolutions while the rabid ECW crowd roars in approval. Cesaro's a throwback to a simpler time in wrestling before the quest for megabucks swallowed its values whole, yet he's also an impossible innovator, executing moves a child with a limitless imagination and two Wrestlebuddies couldn't fathom. Just keep swingin'.

Joey O."Match Of The Year! Match Of The Year!" There's multiple things people now chant for the man who lost his first name (RIP "TONI" patch), but when it comes to this particular list, the one that matters the most came from the NXT crowd after the now-legendary Cesaro-Zayn 2/3 falls match from last summer. Every superhuman feat of strength helped Cesaro further win over the crowd, bringing him on the cusp of an amazing 2014.

Tristan Wolfe: Everyone knew Claudio Castagnoli was an amazing wrestler and a bit of a beast on the indy scene…but holy poop. Did anyone expect Antonio Cesaro to be THIS good? It didn't matter who he was facing in 2013, the match was going to be spectacular. WWE.com put Kofi Kingston in their list of the best matches of 2013 because he was facing this man. I love jumping as much as the next guy, but Kofi's never been a match of the year contestant for me...until you put him in a ring with Antonio Cesaro. Oh, and did I mention his work on NXT? Antonio Cesaro put on wrestling clinics nearly every single match he had in 2013 and for this, he is my #1 pick for 2013.

Rob Pandola: Cesaro is right now writing the book on how to be a big man in the WWE in the 21st century. This was the year he found his rhythm in there system, but found new and interesting ways to expand upon it, bridging the gap between William Regal technicality and John Cena strength. Still reigning and defending champion of the prettiest European Uppercut in wrestling.

John Rosenberger: Nobody has been able to blend a cartoon like, larger than life in-ring style with iron clad ring psychology the way Big Tony has. I am generally not a huge fan of monster guys because they are just that, undefeatable monsters whose movesets reflect a lack of cause and effect. I don’t find stories where the big guy can just power through all offense thrown at him through sheer force of being big convincing. Cesaro took the over the top theatrics of Chikara and blended it seamlessly with the more reality based action of a WWE and this is something that endears him to me more so than anything else.

Mike Pankowski: When Cesaro gets in the ring, you never know what massive spot you might see from him that night. Whether he lifts a 250 pound man into a swing, or throws a 200 pound man into the air and uppercut him to death, all of his moves like amazing feats of strength. Every punch he throws looks like it should decapitate his opponent. And unlike some larger competitors, Cesaro does an excellent job of making his opponent’s offense look believable and painful. I’m excited to see what the remainder of 2014 brings for the Swiss Superman.

Frank McCormick: Cesaro is a great wrestler, quick and agile and smart, but it would be foolish to deny that what really makes him special is DAT STRENGTH. Anyone can do a European Uppercut, but no one, not even the great William Regal, can make them look so ding-dong deadly by throwing you into the air before delivering them. John Cena is a strong man who has lifted guys like Khali and Big Show onto his shoulders and then put them down again violently, but has he Giant Swung those guys around until their knees are dizzy? Has he picked Mark Henry up, held him upside-down, and then jumped up to Neutralize him? No. Could he do such things? I don't even think so. Yet Cesaro makes it all look so easy.

The fact that he is a superb physical specimen, but not some roided-out muscle monster, only adds to the impressiveness of his feats. He has muscles of steel, tendons of titanium, bones of adamantium, and ligaments of carbon fiber, and I'm really not entirely sure that "Swiss Superman" is just a nickname and not his actual superhero alter ego.

Brock Lutefisk: Cesaro is not in my top 5 for this year, but I think he could be there for sure next year. The man is amazing and deserves the opportunities. His match with Sami Zayn last year was without a doubt one of my favorites. I can’t help but think Cesaro might be #1 next year.

Andrew Rosin: I underrated Cesaro, and I'm sorry.

De O'Brien: 2013 was a hell of a year for (Antonio) Cesaro, who rung the New Year in by defeating the Great Khali on Main Event to retain his US Title, then going on to successfully vanquish all comers to hold that belt until April. The thing that stands out for me over the course of a busy year for Cesaro is that in May he began a feud with Sami Zayn, and that's the incident that made me sit up and pay attention to what had thus far been an alright series of career moves for Cesaro. Cesaro and Zayn, two men who worked together in another lifetime, each managed to make the other look even better than they had previously - no small feat for two competitors who were already technically sound and visually stunning - and that lit a fire under NXT to start raising the bar for matches even further than they had prior. Follow that with the 2 out of 3 falls match that Zayn and Cesaro had in August of 2013 and Cesaro's match against William Regal to finish out the year in December, and you had a wrestler no one could remain neutral about for very long.

Brandon Stroud: Superiority in human form. Absolute superiority. Cesaro may be the first wrestler I've seen since I was a child that causes 100% suspension of disbelief and wonder. I never really dug him as Claudio Castagnoli, but CESARO in big capital letters, giant swinging people on television and throwing giants around like they're nothing? Unbelievable. He doesn't have Daniel Bryan's scrappy, naturalistic spirit, but he doesn't have to. As close as we're going to come to a perfect, physical pro wrestler as we're maybe ever going to find.

Disco Inferno gets maligned a fair bit for good reason. He had a gimmick one had to enjoy ironically, which is probably not how WCW meant to portray him. He also has been associated with some bad creative teams and had been known to troll message boards to defend TNA when he was employed there. Still, he was a decent hand, and hey, he was able to provide some unintentional (or was it?) comedy by acting as the Outsiders' lackey during the Era of Several nWo Factions. Their entrance here for this random WCW Monday Nitro main event was understated, but I really dug Disco trying to mug for the camera and how Kevin Nash kinda boxed him out when he was trying to do his disco dance in the ring. Poor Disco, it's almost as if his stint was a Greek tragedy here. Okay, maybe not. Still, WCW had a lot of interesting story threads and characterization that got lost under the crushing sprawl of the nWo arc in general. Disco Inferno as the Wolfpac's towel boy was totally one of them.



This week's entry comes to us from @Pile_of_Derp, who didn't pick the superstar as much as he provided the clip. Please follow Derpy for all your taco and Louisville needs.

Fret not, Chris Hero is all over this weekend for you Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Welcome to the weekend, which means welcome to another installment of Pick Three. I give you three indie shows you need to go to and give you the lowdown on what you can expect. However, just because I only list three shows below doesn't mean they're the only games in town. Nope, wrestling is going on all around the world. Check out your local listings, but if you happen to be in the Gateway of America, the Philly suburbs, or in the Toronto metro area, these shows are the ones for you:

GOLD - St. Louis Anarchy #STACKED

The spirit of Anarchy is alive and well in the Gateway to the West. In some ways, St. Louis Anarchy has certain advantages over its sister promotion to the south because of location, and tonight's show at the Knights of Columbus in Alton, IL shows it off with the menagerie of guest stars coming through for #STACKED. The show starts at 7 PM local time, but you want to get there at 6:30 when the doors open. Also, come with some food in your belly, because beer is $1 at the bar. With that deal in place, you might be drinking more than you would at, say, the Cardinals game, and I don't advocate being sloppy drunk at a wrestling show.

The feature attraction was supposed to pit ACH against Alex Shelley in a dream match. Obviously, that contest would've rocked the joint to its foundations, but Shelley injured his foot this past weekend. ACH will still be in action, but his replacement opponent has not been announced. Still, the number of big guests flying in for this show is impressive. Takaaki Watanabe of New Japan Pro Wrestling will invade to challenge Gary Jay for the St. Louis Anarchy Championship. IN a first time ever encounter, Chris Hero will take on Davey Vega. Hero's return to the indies has been pretty hot, and Vega is one of the best technical wrestlers and babyface workers on the scene. For anyone who is disappointed that ACH/Shelley isn't happening here, Hero/Vega should be more than a consolation prize. Additionally, Jonathan Gresham battles Kyle O'Reilly, while Danny Cannon, who has LIT UP Beyond Wrestling, will take on the Heaviest Sumo in the Land, Jojo Bravo.

The biggest spectacle at this show, however, might be the Lethal Lottery. Twelve wrestlers - Brandon Espinosa, Arik Cannon, Angelus Layne, Jeremy Wyatt, Darin Corbin, Evan Gelistico, Mat Fitchett, Alex Castle, Adam Raw, Devin Cutter, Mason Cutter, and Christian Rose - will be drawn at random, and the winner will receive a future title shot at the winner of the Jay/Watanabe match. A lot of interesting possibilities are at play here. The favorite might be the former Champion Darin Corbin, but keep your eye on Jeremy Wyatt. A star in Missouri indie wrestling, Wyatt has made more waves to the west of the state than the east. This match might be his coming out party along the Mississippi.

SILVER - Wrestling Is Fun! Tag World Grand Prix Block B

The fun and games of the Tag World Grand Prix, gently handed down from Chikara to its child promotion, began with Block A last month. The Osirian Portal and Devastation Corporation survived Block A and will meet in the semifinals on May 24 in Easton. Who will emerge from this block at the Greater Norristown Police Athletic League in Norristown, PA? The doors will open at 6:30 PM local time, and all children under the age of 12 will get in for free with a paying adult.

Four first round matches will take place, as well as two quarterfinals. The Throwbacks of Mark Angelosetti and Dasher Hatfield will battle the strange duo of Haack and Slaash. Advance intel on the latter team suggests they are minions of Dr. Cube, and with the war for Chikara's soul in full swing, they are automatically a deadly entry into the fray. Speaking of the forces that mean to send the Chikaraverse to a premature heat death, the Wrecking Crew of Oleg the Usurper and Jaka will battle the Baltic Siege of the Lithuanian Snow Troll and everyone's favorite electricity-generating, hammer-wielding amphibian, the Estonian Thunder Frog. Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy - Lance Steel and Jolly Roger - will battle the Bloc Party of the Proletariat Boar of Moldova and Mr. Azerbaijan. This match will have dueling nuisances on the outside, as Princess Kimber Lee and the Polar Baron may just cancel each others' presences out. Finally, Team Benchmark of Bill Daly and Will Ferrara are set to lock horns with the resident dairy-based tricksters of Wrestling Is Fun!, Los Ice Creams.

In non-tournament action, Fire Ant clashes with Missile Assault Ant in yet another installment of the war between the Colonies. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Fire Ant might want to interrogate Missile Assault Ant as to the whereabouts of his MIA buddy, Soldier. Finally, Ophidian will take a respite from tag action to take on Juan Francisco de Coronado in a singles contest. Both wrestlers are among the creme of the Chikara crop, so I expect a decent bout at the very least.

BRONZE - SMASH Wrestling Gold

SMASH Wrestling in a short time has become the premiere company in the Toronto area, and this weekend, it will take the first steps towards crowning its first Champion will be taken at Gold. The E-Zone in Ebiticoke, ON will play host to this event with a special bell time of 3 PM local. Ten names have been entered into the fray split into five first round matches. The headline match will most certainly be the one that pits Chris Hero against Michael Elgin. The winner of this match will almost certainly be the favorite to take the strap. Then again, to discount the other names in the tourney might be a mistake, no matter how much momentum both Elgin and Hero have at their backs.

For example, Kevin Steen returns to his home country to battle "The Hacker" Scotty O'Shea. Takaaki Watanabe's excursion into North America will see him take on Alex Vega. In a match imported straight across Lake Erie from the Cleveland area, Johnny Gargano battles Matt Cross' Beard. Finally, in what promises to be a SUPER HOSS FIGHT, Josh Alexander will butt heads and beards with the massive John Greed. Then, all five winners will be thrust into the main event, where one competitor will walk out as the first ever SMASH Champion.

Two non-tournament matches have been announced as well. Gregory Iron will team with the inimitable Jewells Malone to battle the husband-and-wife team of Pepper Parks and Cherry Bomb in what should be a hard-hitting, potentially potty-mouthed affair. Finally, Sebastian Suave takes on Brent Banks in a battle of the SMASH homegrowns.

Once again, wrestling is happening everywhere. Even if you're not fortunate enough to be in those areas this weekend, check out your local events calendar and see where shows are happening near you. I guarantee something's going on within driving distance, especially if you're in the state of Georgia. Platinum Championship Wrestling and Empire Pro Wrestling are running shows at the very least. NWA Smoky Mountain's got a date in Tennessee, as well as NWA SAW and Tennessee All-Pro. The Monster Factory has a show this weekend in South Jersey. Don't just sit at home like a doofus. Go see wrestling! Besides, your favorite promotion or wrestler may be out there already. You just don't know it yet.

Where will he go? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Welcome back to the Polling Place, where I seek your temperature on three varying topics within professional wrestling. Kicking off this week is KENTA, a wrestler who has gotten a lot of casual eyes at least glancing towards Pro Wrestling NOAH. He handed in his resignation to the company, which has lit the fuse on a powder keg of rumors and speculation. Many believe he's a lock to head to WWE. Others think he may sign exclusively with New Japan, while still others think he's testing the waters as a freelancer and will still check back in with NOAH from time to time. Obviously though, his free agency has created enough interest to warrant a predictive question as to where he will end up.



Second, Extreme Rules is Sunday, and as far as post-Mania cards go, it looks at the very least to be above average. However, for as promising as some of these matches look, the downsides for all of them look abysmal. For example, The Shield is batting nearly 1.000 in trios matches, but will Evolution be able to hold their end of the bargain up? Daniel Bryan/Kane has story and the best wrestler in the world, but Kane is hit or miss, and the fact that the title match seems bound for the midcard feels troubling. John Cena/Bray Wyatt has been escalated artificially. Jack Swagger/Antonio Cesaro has Rob van Dam added to the match. Still, if everything fires on all cylinders, it could be a great show. Where are you in anticipation of it?


Finally, three months have elapsed since CM Punk walked out on WWE. While the chants for him have died down, he still seems to be a hot button for discussion around the news sources and on social media. His fiancee AJ Lee's departure from the company has added even more fuel to the fires of speculation of a situation which people still barely know a thing about. The question remains, do you think Punk will come back?

Havok is Champion no more Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Startling news broke last night on Twitter regarding Jessicka Havok and Women's Superstars Uncensored. Only nine days before she was set to defend the WSU Championship against LuFisto, the company stripped her of the title and fired her. At first, I thought this was part of the ongoing story pitting Havok against in-character part-owner DJ Hyde. However, I've learned that this whole thing might sting a little closer to the truth than anyone would have liked. I don't have any other details at present moment, only that this whole thing isn't an angle (or at least it's not an angle yet... you know how pro wrestling works and evolves).

What I do know is that the vacant Championship WILL be decided. LuFisto will remain in one corner, while her opponent from Mutiny, Athena, will man the other one. Also announced last night, the match will be best two-out-of-three falls. Their match at the previous event was hailed as the best on the card and one of the best of the entire year to date.

In better, albeit more creepily delivered news, hey, the Chikara Event Center, hosted by friend of The Blog Bryce Remsburg, has returned. The first news missive in preparation for You Live Only Twice on May 25 in Easton, PA (I'll be there!) is a video message from Jimmy Jacobs, the leader of the resistance forces to Chikara:


Of course he quoted Peter Gabriel lyrics. OF COURSE. Anyway, his words sounded extremely ominous, and they held more than a few clues. He addressed Icarus, which is a hint that maybe the main event will pit Jacobs against the last scion of Chikara, the relighter of the flame and the King of Ashes. Second, he flat out said that he wasn't the organizer of the group, rather a figurehead chosen for his ability to lead. Third, his Flood is something unknown to the Chikaraverse at large.


Or is it? While the Chikara name was purchased back by friendly (?) forces, the loose ends hinted at by Derek Sabato and Wink Vavasseur known as the Titor Conglomerate might not be left untied after all. Unless those who bought the name from Worldwide Media Development Corporation are really wolves in sheep's clothing, then maybe the collective forces of Chikara know what's coming and they just choose to ignore it. Either way, any news is good news, and the events that will conclude the company's grand return weekend are finally coming to light.

The best in his signature performance in 2013 Photo Credit: WWE.com

What, you were expecting the Swamp Monster? Anyway, for the third time in five years…

1. Daniel Bryan
Points:4683
Ballots:47
Highest Vote Received:1st Place (TH, David Kincannon, Alex Torres, Andrew Smith, Jesse Powell, Martin Bentley, Joe Roche, Chris Harrington, Brandon Rohwer, Ryan Kilma, Mike F., Bill Hanstock, Joey O., Rob Pandola, Cewsh, Frank McCormick, Tom Blackett, Mike Pankowski, Ian Greenleafs, Rich Thomas, Chris McDonald, Joey Splashwater, Robot Hammer, Steve Hummer, Willow Maclay, Scott T. Holland, Brock Lutefisk, Andrew Rosin, De O'Brien, Brandon Bosh, TJ Hawke, George Hazar, J K, Rich Kraetsch, Dan McQuade, Zach Brown, Brandon Stroud, Joe Kearns)
Last Year's Placement:1st Place

TH: In 2013, Daniel Bryan became everything I wanted him to be and then some. He already was the best wrestler in the world coming into the last frame, and for his mastery of every other style, he hadn't gotten the opportunity to anchor a televised wrestling company with a full slate of pay-per-view events and scads of house shows in between. But something inside the heads of the people in WWE Creative finally clicked. WWE saw it had three hours to fill every Monday, a roster of diverse and talented wrestlers, and one true ace through against whom it could put anyone from Rey Mysterio to the Big Show. Even when he wasn't in the main event, he was the workhorse, the treadmill, the man through which WWE was cycled.

He made his mark in three different, completely separate arenas. In the beginning of the year, he was a stalwart in the tag team division. He and Kane continued their solid run from 2012 and parlayed it into perhaps the second best match at WrestleMania last year. From there, he was The Shield's most frequent opponent in singles, tags, and most importantly trios matches. The Shield may have rewritten the book on how six-man tags in WWE are conducted, but they had a lot of guest input from Bryan over the course of the summer. Finally, starting at SummerSlam, his transition into company co-ace (alongside John Cena, of course) began with a match against the aforementioned Franchise. All along the way, he was dropping gems on free TV as well.

That resume, free television and pay-per-view, included some of the finest matches not only of the year, but perhaps in the history of the company. The middle part of the gauntlet he was put through against Antonio Cesaro, if it had main evented a pay-per-view instead of being inserted as a sandwich for storytelling purposes, would be mentioned in the same breath as Punk/Cena from Money in the Bank '11 among others. His hardcore match with Randy Orton, my match of the year on the Voices of Wrestling ballot, did ECW better than anyone trying to do so since the original company closed, and then they followed that match up in December (on my birthday no less) with another that was almost as good. He had two matches with Seth Rollins that were better than every other singles match Rollins was in in his career by the time the second one was finished.

And to cap it all off, he was given the chance to headline SummerSlam against Cena in an impossible situation. They had to follow Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk, which at the time wasn't an enviable task. The two went out and proceeded to re-energize the crowd, put their own stamp on the event, and create one of the most indelible pay-per-view matches in the history of the medium. The expectation was that Bryan would be the one who needed Cena to keep up with him, but people either forget or they don't want to acknowledge that the WWE ring belongs to Cena. It's belonged to him for nearly a decade now, and Bryan had to show he could wrestle a WWE pay-per-view main event in a way that kept the crowd engaged.

With that performance, Bryan cemented himself as not only a jack of all trades, but a master of them as well. He's been around the world and wrestled nearly everywhere that matters, and he's conquered all styles. This year was his capstone, the final mountain that he had left to conquer. Now that he has arrived, he can hold court and work on creating his own legacy as the ace of WWE. He has proven time and time again that size doesn't matter as much as ability, and when you have as much ability as the American fucking Dragon, no place is off limits. In WWE's best year of in-ring action ever, Bryan was its best performer, and the best wrestler I saw in a wrestling ring in 2013.

David Kincannon: Simply put, Daniel Bryan was the in-ring MVP of the WWE in 2013. He started the year as part of Team Hell No and had some great tag team matches, including a six man match on Raw in April that saw him team with Kane and the Undertaker to take on the Shield. He and Chris Jericho were the first two entrants in the Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight title, which started out with a strong display of mat wrestling until Jack Swagger entered and the match devolved into its usual buffet of brawling and high spots.

Then, in the second half of the year, he made “the leap.” He and John Cena had a match of the year candidate at SummerSlam, in which he debuted his version of Kenta’s Busaiku Knee, which would eventually become known as the “Knee Plus.” His two matches with Randy Orton that would follow, at Night of Champions and Battleground, were not classics by any stretch of the imagination, but he performed solidly, as he did in the Hell in a Cell match against Orton.

Every time Daniel Bryan wrestled on my television screen in 2013, he was worth seeing. There aren’t very many guys who I can say that about.

Alex Torres: There's nothing more I can say. Was there anyone else worthy of this spot? Was there anyone else who made us believe?

Martin Bentley: Sure he was only champion for a combined 21 hours and five minutes or so, but that's still a 21 hours and five minutes that many in wrestling would kill for. Fact is, 2013's most dependable babyface was Daniel Bryan, and without him, RAW would have been totally insufferable throughout the year.

Although he started the year in Team Hell No with Kane, it was in that role that Bryan upped the match quality in the company, particularly when it was time to do battle with The Shield. You could literally fill an entire compilation DVD of matches involving Bryan and The Shield from 2013 alone, as Bryan and a multitude of partners, Kane normally being one of them, would try and crack Ambrose, Reigns and Rollins, before they finally managed it with Randy Orton as the partner.

SummerSlam 2013 proved to be the peak of Bryan's WWE career at that time... and then the start of an insufferable autumn, as following his major win over John Cena, he would immediately drop the title to Randy Orton, and be attacked on TV twice a week by various members of The Authority. We wouldn't get the satisfactory conclusion to that story in 2013, but for in-ring quality and getting over like no-one has since Steve Austin, Daniel Bryan deserves the #1 vote.

Joe Roche: Did you see a single Daniel Bryan match that wasn't good to great in 2013? Think about how many guys Bryan legitimately elevated over the course of the year. The year began with Team Hell No against Rhodes Scholars, so already you've got Kane, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow all being elevated because of Bryan's work. You can add Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston and The Shield to the list of people who got a rub because of their work with Bryan. Think about that for a minute because it only includes the work being done during the Team Hell No banishment. Over the first half of the year Bryan elevated Cody Rhodes (future WWE World Tag Team Champion), Damien Sandow (MITB Winner), Kane (never before interesting hell demon), Big E (Intercontinental Champion), Dolph Ziggler (Poochie), and The Shield. You could argue that without Bryan's work in Team Hell no, the Shield would've broken up in July of 2013 and Seth Rollins would be wrestling in Dragon Gate USA next weekend.

After Summerslam people suddenly realized John Cena didn't suck in the ring, Randy Orton got hooked up to the juvenation machine and oh by the way Daniel Bryan basically created the Wyatt Family mystique. Daniel Bryan forced the WWE into the future in 2013, just by wrestling get matches with everyone that I've mentioned here, he set the table for what ultimately happened in 2014. Is any single performer on this list responsible for more guys having "breakout" success than Daniel Bryan? The breadth of his accomplishments in 2013 is incredible, his ability to have good to great wrestling matches regardless of the situation is second to none, and the fact that both The Shield and the Wyatt Family became things that everyone bought into because of their matches with Bryan is a testament to how amazing he truly is. So yeah I voted him #1 the most important in ring performer for the most important wrestling company in the world seems like a pretty compelling argument to be the best to me.

Ryan Kilma: Explaining Daniel Bryan's wrestling prowess without melting into sweet, gooey hyperbole becomes more difficult with each passing year. I will say this though, and I hope no one reading this is afraid of heights because this is going to be some high praise; there's not a single wrestler currently employed anywhere that I can think of that Daniel Bryan couldn't have a good match with. Heck, all of us voters + Daniel Bryan could be put in a Battle Royal and he would find a way to make it exciting. Every offensive move packs an audible wallop, and he size is so below the norm (Shawn Michaels is three inches taller) that even JTG could deal a believable chink in DB's armor. There's really nothing to say except to yell "Yes" repeatedly and extend the arms over the head.

Joey O. Last summer, My Main Man D-Bry was part of the Wizard World comic con in Philly, booked alongside Ricky Steamboat for a Q&A. I didn't get to ask my question, which would have been, "Can you just wrestle the Shield in different combinations for the rest of the summer, please?" Well the answer apparently would have been "Yes!," as Bryan pretty much ended up doing that anyway (along with an endless run of quality matches with Orton), and the results were constantly must-see TV. Pretty much every match Bryan was involved in last year was guaranteed to be the show-stoppa, including his first true WWE PPV main event title match against Cena at SummerSlam. Everyone loved the guy, and it wasn't just the "Yes!" chants or the beard...it was also proof that fans will rally behind someone constantly delivering the best matches on the show.

Tristan Wolfe: This is a no brainer. This has been the year of Daniel Bryan and it's been a roller coaster. It didn't matter if he was facing John Cena at Summerslam, battling The Authority, or chillin' behind Bray Wyatt, Daniel Bryan has had the fans eating out of his hand. His debut of the [screw all of you] Busaiku Knee was jaw dropping at the conclusion of his match with John Cena. His work in 2013 was so good that the WWE just kept booking him in matches. "Hey Bryan, we need to cut another Zack Ryder segment, can you just wrestle 5 times on the same show?" His technical in-ring work is always superb, he's a blast to watch, and damnit he's just a really nice guy too. My boy D-Bry right there takes the #2 spot...and my heart.

Rob Pandola: My #1 overall, and it was a no-brainier. Forget about the matches, because you've all seen them. The reason he's my #1 overall is because his wave lifted all ships. His fire made everything watchable. He made everyone he stepped in the ring with better. By doing that, he made the product better. His style is a textbook in high-tech working. And he was pulling ZERO punches. And because of that, everyone had to get better. One year ago, I never even imagined I would have Randy Orton on my list, but because of Bryan, he's there, because he made him step his game up. Hell, THE BELLAS GOT BETTER!!!! THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!! It would be ridiculous to put him anywhere else.

Frank McCormick: With some wrestlers on the list, their inclusion is just so obvious that a blurb like this seems utterly unnecessary. What can be said about Daniel Bryan that has not been said by the Internet already? Not all that much, honestly. So rather than his wrestling, which speaks for itself, I just want to note another, I think underappreciated, part of his ring game that makes him the bee's knees (TO THE FACE). To wit, his ability to work a crowd.

People sometimes say that Bryan is just an amazing technical wrestler, and eventually, and with the help of a very simple catchphrase, his technical skills simply forced people to love him. While that is most certainly true, I think it sells Bryan a bit short to focus exclusively on his "technical" skills (by which wrestling nerds mean his incredible moveset and competence in employing said moveset). Because its not just that he knows all these moves and can execute them to perfection, it's that he knows what moves to use and when to use them. He doesn't start with the Knee That Beat John Cena, he builds up to it. He doesn't just slap on a Mexican Surfboard, he puts on each piece of the move deliberately, giving the crowd time to get just a little more impressed and excited. And when he's being beaten and hope seems like it might be lost, he "Hulks up," generating the energy of the crowd while appearing to be recharged by its spontaneous emission. Crowds end up frothing at the mouth for Bryan matches, and it's not just because he knows all 1000 variations of the armbar. In short, Bryan isn't just a moves machine, he's a professional wrestler in every sense of the word, and that is why he's the greatest.

Mike Pankowski: Just when you thought that Bryan had already reached his peak, 2013 showed that he had another level to get to. The way that he can switch gears in a match is amazing. When he’s kicking and diving on opponents, it looks like he’s going 100 MPH. When he slows it down for some mat wrestling, every hold looks locked in. And when Bryan is getting laid out in a match, he sells it so well. Everything about him clicked so well that it would be foolish for me not to give him my #1 spot this year.

Joey Splashwater: The guy has been the best wrestler on the planet for a long time, arguably 8 years or so. I'm left in awe at how special of a performer Daniel Bryan is. Obviously we all are aware how great he is but to see him become the top in ring performer in WWE in 2013 was something special. Between tag matches with Kane, many various matches with The Shield, his classic with John Cena, series with Randy Orton and feud with a Bray Wyatt, who at the time was viewed as a poor in ring performer, and succeeding in just about every match, 2013 was the year of Bryan. Daniel Bryan was/is the perfect in ring performer.

Brock Lutefisk: You’re an idiot if you don’t have Daniel Bryan in the top five of this list. You’re an even bigger idiot if he isn’t in your top 20. If you didn’t vote for him, you deserve to be sanctioned by the United Nations Security Council. Bryan is by far the best wrestler in North America. The man goes out there and knows how to put on a show. Think about all the matches he had to wrestle in during the 2013 calendar year. Heck, just think about all of those gauntlet matches against the Shield. He had great matches with Orton, Cena and so many more.

Andrew Rosin: He was consistently the most watchable part of the #1 promotion in the world. He was the funny man of Team Hell No. He had amazing matches on the way to John Cena and through the end of the year. And the crowd looks at him like they did Austin and The Rock. He's popular with the kids and us internet jerks. If he's not #1 on this list I will be absolutely stunned.

De O'Brien: Daniel Bryan's 2013 had its ups and downs; while he was part of one of the most fan-favorite tag teams in the WWE, and winning matches against John Cena - who handpicked Bryan to be his opponent at SummerSlam -, Randy Orton, Cesaro and Jack Swagger, he was also superkicked by his mentor, Shawn Michaels, savaged by his former best friend and tag partner Kane, and knocked out by the Big Show.

Despite being presented to the fans as someone who could never make it because of his size, or the fact that he wasn't the stereotypical lantern-jawed clean-cut Superman that the WWE seems to dote on almost extensively to be the face of the product, Bryan prevailed, but at no point during the year was the depth of his character more prevalent than during his entanglement with both the Authority - who chose Orton to represent the WWE - and with the Wyatt Family, who stepped in to provide Bryan some backup against "The machine". Bryan chainsawed his way through Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, hanging on long enough for a chance to face Bray Wyatt on the last RAW of the year, but Bryan learned you can't fight the inevitable and suffered a beatdown from Harper and Rowan during his bout with Bray.

The one thing you can take out of Bryan's 2013 is this: No matter who you are, no matter if they tell you you're not good enough, if you stick to your principles and you do what you feel you must no matter what anyone else wants, chances are you'll come out victorious in your own way. Good things come to those who fight for them, and with one simple word - "YES!" - Daniel Bryan announced to the WWE Universe and 2013 that he was definitely going to be fighting for a long time to come.

Brandon Bosh: Of all the astonishing things about Daniel Bryan’s success – and there are plenty – perhaps the most astonishing is that he’s still the same wrestler who electrified the indies a decade ago. Aside from the subtraction of Cattle Mutilation and the addition of an unimaginably grueling schedule, Bryan hasn’t changed at all. All of his signature indie moves are now his signature WWE moves: the turnbuckle backflip, the top-rope dropkick, the skyscraping back superplex, the picture-perfect diving headbutt. Even more incredibly, Bryan continues to practice the torturous submission holds that made him an indie legend. His feature-length matches, on pay-per-views and “special events”, are virtually indistinguishable from his best bouts in Ring of Honor, right down to the same methodical pacing. Bryan’s marquee WWE matches unfold so patiently that it’s a wonder today’s attention-deficient WWE crowds don’t get restless along the way. Fortunately, Bryan is a) really fucking good at his job and b) really fucking popular, so he’s managed to control his own destiny (at least between the bells). The wrestler gets to determine the match type, rather than the other way around.

Curiously enough, Bryan’s best WWE foil to date has been Randy Orton, whose meticulous stomps and finger-wringers evoke no one so much as the American Dragon himself. It seems that, no longer content to revolutionize WWE wrestling through his own work, Bryan has taken to leaving his fingerprint on fellow main-eventers, possibly even altering the rote WWE main-event “style” at large. So, not only is Daniel Bryan the best wrestler in the world, he’s also one of the most influential. All of which is further proof that Bryan’s winkingly self-aware TV storylines are the least interesting thing about his WWE journey.

Brandon Stroud: This is the first place on the Internet to say something nice about Daniel Bryan, right?

Nobody does it better. He wears his heart on the outside of his body. He always has, even when he was an incorrigible jerk wearing the ROH title. Even when he was in a pseudo-gay therapy-themed tag team of word screamers. Even when he was losing in 18 seconds and emotionally abusing his girlfriend. True, unmitigated talent cannot be denied, and Bryan is the very best pro wrestler in the world. He had a hell of a year, and it'd only get better in the first quarter of 2014. I'm hoping it gets better still. Since ol' Lazy Bones has taken a sabbatical, can we finally get the BEST IN THE WORLD chant going for the right dude?

And now, the list in total, for your viewing pleasure:

1 Daniel Bryan
2 Antonio Cesaro
3 Seth Rollins
4 Sami Zayn/El Generico
5 Roman Reigns
6 Dean Ambrose
7 John Cena
8 CM Punk
9 Goldust
10 Cody Rhodes
11 Randy Orton
12 Bray Wyatt
13 Dolph Ziggler
14 AJ Lee
15 Luke Harper
16 Big E Langston
17 Kevin Steen
18 Nick Jackson
19 Matt Jackson
20 Adam Cole
21 Alberto del Rio
22 Paige
23 ACH
24 Jack Swagger
25 Chris Hero/Kassius Ohno
26 Brock Lesnar
27 Drew Gulak
28 Johnny Gargano
29 Sheamus
30 AR Fox
31 Mark Henry
32 Emma
33 Damien Sandow
34 Green Ant
35 Michael Elgin
36 Frank O'Rourke/Biff Busick
37 Jimmy Uso
38 Jey Uso
39 Bully Ray
40 Eddie Kingston
41 Ricochet
42 Chuck Taylor
43 Tim Donst
44 Kyle O'Reilly
45 Bo Dallas
46 AJ Styles
47 Adrian Neville
48 Trent?
49 Kane
50 Ryback
51 Christopher Daniels
52 Chris Jericho
53 William Regal
54 Eddie Edwards
55 Sami Callihan
56 Jessicka Havok
57 Christian
58 Rich Swann
59 Icarus
60 Robert Evans/RD Evans/Archibald Peck/Big Bad Quentin
61 Kofi Kingston
62 Bobby Roode
63 Drake Younger
64 Gail Kim
65 The Big Show
66 Austin Aries
67 Jay Briscoe
68 Candice LeRae
69 Mark Angelosetti
70 Joseph Park/Abyss
71 Athena
72 Davey Vega
73 UltraMantis Black
74 Davey Richards
75 Colt Cabana
76 Fandango
77 Michael Hutter/Derrick Bateman/Ethan Carter III
78 Chris Dickinson
79 Cheerleader Melissa
80 Hallowicked
81 Fire Ant
82 Kazarian
83 Mike Quackenbush
84 Natalya
85 Ophidian
86 Rey Mysterio
87 Samoa Joe
88 Veda Scott
89 "All Ego" Ethan Page
90 TJ Perkins/Manik
91 Estonian Thunder Frog
92 Curtis Axel
93 JT Dunn
94 Jigsaw
95 Summer Rae
96 Kimber Lee
97 Tyler Breeze
98 The Undertaker
99 Paul London
100 Roderick Strong

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Anyway, time to go!

@tholzerman any thoughts on drake younger officially joining wwe?
— Rancho King (@rancho_king33) May 3, 2014

Whither Drake Younger in WWE? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

For the record, I've only really enjoyed two Drake Younger matches in his career that I've seen so far. The first was live at Chikara when he teamed with the Osirian Portal against the UnStable at the first Chikarasaurus Rex event. The second was an insane brawl against Mustafa Saed (yes, that Mustafa Saed) at Supreme Pro Wrestling in Sacramento. So although he's one of the true really great dudes of pro wrestling, and a guy who is beloved by thousands, I have no real opinions of him leaving the scene other than that is going to make a lot of my friends sad. Now, that scenario doesn't mean I am not intrigued to see what refitting his style for television at the Performance Center will do for him. I hated Tyler Black on the indies, but now Seth Rollins is my favorite member of The Shield. Both Antonio Cesaro and Sami Zayn, guys I adored on the indie scene, changed up their games and arguably became better (or at the very least made a change in style with lateral movement in ability).

But the hot rumor is that Younger is headed to WWE to become a referee. My ambivalence towards him as a performer aside, I feel like that might be a waste of his abilities. Here, WWE has signed a guy who electrified some of the hottest indie wrestling crowds in the country, and it's going to make him a ref, a position that by design is mostly nameless and unsung? Then again, Younger wouldn't have taken the job without explicit understanding of his role. And who knows, maybe the reports are wrong. Misinformation in any news medium is not a new phenomenon.

@tholzerman if the LOST reboot happens, do you want to see the old characters re-cast, or new characters stranded on that wacky island?
— Robot Hammer (@robot_hammer) May 3, 2014

Oh God, I hope it's not a re-cast. The original series was not perfect, but personally, it was closer than some other folks might have adjudged to be. Rebooting the original story would feel cheap. Now, a prequel or sequel series would be pretty rad. The Island has a mythos, one whose surface was only scratched with the original series. LOST deserves to have a whole universe surrounding it with multiple series, some films, and video games exploring bits and pieces of the Island's mystique while telling stories.

Because really, I thought demanding an entire slate of answers and mysteries explored with six seasons of a TV show was a bit too demanding and off-focus. I don't like to be the one to tell people how to watch a show, so yeah, maybe some people wanted a hyperscientific focus on the Island. That viewpoint is okay, but to me, it also feels a bit wrongheaded and purpose-defeating of a good television show. No matter what the genre, a great television show has to invest time in relationships and characters to work, whether the relationships are personal and friendly or adversarial. The original show struck a balance between mythos and characterization/plot, and I would love to see an entire media empire that gets to build upon the former while providing new avenues for the latter.

(And personally, Walt's story was underserved and probably deserves an entire new series. Let's focus on him!)

@tholzerman How hyped are you for CHIKARA's return, on a scale of Mojo Rawley to Mojo Rawley?
— Ian G. (@Doc_Ruiz2012) May 3, 2014

I am at a 1.2 on the Rawley Scale, which means I was BORN HYPE, YEAAAAAHHHHHHH.

@tholzerman since you botched this question worse than first month sin cara, let's try it again: Can I kick it?
— That Enrico Palazzo (@Enrico_Palazzo_) May 3, 2014

IN LIVING CO CO CO COLOR

Oh wait, I botched it again, didn't I?

@tholzerman What is the best match featuring at least two of this year's TWB top five?
— Star of Savage (@StarOfSavage) May 3, 2014

For the record, the top five, in order, was as follows:

1. Daniel Bryan
2. Antonio Cesaro (first names forever!)
3. Seth Rollins
4. Sami Zayn/El Generico
5. Roman Reigns

Honorable mentions would include the Bryan/Cesaro match from the gauntlet that happened in the late spring/early summer on RAW, the two Bryan/Rollins matches on RAW, and the Shield vs. Kane, Undertaker, and Bryan from that English RAW. But the clear winner here has to be the Zayn/Cesaro best two-out-of-three falls match, right? I mean, the contest was the consensus best match in NXT/FCW history until they went at it again at ArRIVAL, and it's on the short-list of best three-fall matches ever. I liked a few matches in wrestling the same or better - the Bryan/Orton hardcore match, Bryan/Cena, and Callihan/Havok to be specific - but none of them had the combination of people within the top five.

@tholzerman what does Willow even mean man?
— Jesse Robert Powell (@Jessico09) May 3, 2014

I don't know if I've ever seen that movie, but Warwick Davis was pretty good in Prince Caspian. Oh wait, you mean the drug-fueled alter-ego of Jeff Hardy? Yeah, I got nothin'.

@tholzerman Buddy Ryan: best coach ever, or best person ever? -- Angelo, South Philly
— WCS (@PatrickEhland) May 3, 2014

Oh man, the godlike adoration of Ryan in this town is the saddest, funniest thing ever. The Eagles won zero playoff games when Ryan was a head coach. Zero. Rich Kotite coached the team to a playoff win, and he's one of the worst head coaches in NFL history. But he coached GRITTY football, made his teams play SMASHMOUTH ball, and emphasized HUSTLE like the teams in the '60s with CHUCK BENDARIK did. Just in case anyone says racism is over, check out any random autumn day on WIP and feel the coded language wash over you like a wave teeming with toxic jellyfish.

@tholzerman did dean malenko really know 1,000 holds?
— Mike McCarthyism (@MMcCarthyism) May 3, 2014

As it turns out, he only knows 999, because "dealing steroids backstage" is not a real wrestling move.

@tholzerman@LuFisto Vs @DirtyDickinson. IS YOUR BODY READY?????
— Panda Rob (@RealRobPandola) May 3, 2014

I am absolutely shocked DJ Hyde is letting Denver Colorado (the man, not the place) book that match after what happened at the last WSU secret show at the [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION]. If Alpha Female taking on the perfectly cromulent but not-known-for-destruction Jenny Rose can cause structural damage to one gypsum wall, then what on earth could LuFisto and Chris Dickinson do to that place? They could possibly do this to the WORLD, no joke:

@tholzerman Describe your ideal tag team scene. How many teams? What kinds? What's the hierarchy? Tag finishers: yes or hell yes? #askTH
— Luke Johnson (@cursethedark) May 3, 2014

The perfect tag team division has between four and eight established, regular teams, but the number isn't as important as the activity within it. Namely, the division should have at least one feud going on at a given time that isn't related to the Championships, if not more. Also, the top teams in the divisions should be able to main event cards and look viable against the top singles dudes as well. At one point in the late '80s, Road Warrior Hawk got a few shots at Ric Flair here and there. Wouldn't a RAW main event pitting Jey Uso against Daniel Bryan or Randy Orton be the goal?

Also, every tag team should have a double-team finisher. Wrestling holds have gotten so sophisticated over the years, and in WWE, double team moves have stopped evolving at the 3D. Then again, WWE is hardly the only game in town, and teams in PWG and Chikara have a plethora of double-team moves and finishers. But yeah, dual finishes are a must.

@tholzerman Have you found any hidden gems on WWE Network? A match or PPV that took you by surprise?
— Kevin Brotzman (@brotz13) May 3, 2014

I haven't been watching the archives on The Network as extensively as I would have liked yet, mainly because my son dominates the television when he's awake. So I don't have an extensive list, or anything that might be considered a super-rare gem. However, I still get a good laugh whenever I turn on a really old episode of Hardcore TV and see some of the stuff that went on in pre-Extreme ECW. For example, Tommy Dreamer's old ring gear is hilariously '80s, I never remembered Public Enemy as being that much of a joke out of the ring, and holy shit, who let Pat Tanaka wrestle in sweats? But the most WTF thing I remember seeing is all the vignettes featuring Kevin Sullivan cutting promos from the beach. Everyone else is doing their interviews from dingy-ass Viking Hall, and he's on sunny beaches in banana hammocks with Woman (pbuh) on his arm. Those visuals are both the most surreal, but the most brilliant things ever. What better way to get a guy over as a heel on the indies (and make no mistake, ECW was an indie back in those days and arguably never stopped being one) than to frame him as a member of the 1%.

@tholzerman might be answered in your Smackdown review but what the hell are they doing with Titus and Big E?
— Sean McLaughlin (@soggyhydrox) May 3, 2014

I tweeted when I watched that debacle "I don't understand the WWE midcard." WWE went to all the trouble to have a tournament to crown a contender to Big E Langston's Intercontinental Championship only to make him look like a chump during the process. Like, all he did was watch the matches backstage, and then last night, Titus O'Neil dominated him during a match. The post match stuff made a little more sense, but wouldn't that scenario have played out a LOT better on RAW or next week's Smackdown, after Langston will have defended (or lost) his IC title?

WWE has done such a great job telling main event stories in the last five years from time to time, but even the top-card stories have been done in by inattention to detail or nonsensical turns. I really want to be a fly on the wall during a month of Creative Team meetings, just to see what really goes on.

@tholzerman With Chikara seemingly deciding to keep the return card secret, let's speculate: What do you think the return SHOULD look like?
— GayProWrestlingFan (@GayWrestlingFan) May 3, 2014

Ah, a fantasy booking question!

MAIN EVENT: Icarus vs. Jimmy Jacobs - I'm pretty sure this match will headline the show, as it was heavily hinted in the first Event Center video that dropped yesterday. Jacobs set himself up not as the guy behind the Flood, but its field general so to speak. I also don't think this would be the blowoff match in the feud anyway, just like the Bret Hart/Steve Austin Survivor Series '96 match was far from the blowoff to their feud. Maybe Icarus (or even Jacobs??) would need to win the Grand Championship first for them to have a true final showdown. Speaking of which...

NON-TITLE: Eddie Kingston vs. Davey Vega - Even though Chikara is back, Kingston still seems to be in denial. Even stronger are his feelings of attachment towards "her." I doubt he would put the Grand Championship on the line right away, but he should be in action against one of the primary actors in the team that lit the fuse on Chikara's rebirth at National Pro Wrestling Day, the Submission Squad.

Dr. Cube, Haack, and Slaash vs. Evan Gelistico, Pierre Abernathy, and Gary the Barn Owl - Speaking of the Squad, what better way to kick off the group's real Chikara career than by taking on the grotesque Cube and his two minions?

The Shard vs. Green Ant - Aside from this being a potentially awesome match, Shard's affiliation with both The Flood and Jigsaw would make this a good launching point for Jig's role in this whole battle.

Blaster McMassive, Max Smashmaster, Oleg the Usurper, and Jaka vs. the Osirian Portal, Fire Ant, and Worker Ant - The grand reintroduction of assailANT as Worker Ant should happen here, and what better place to do it than a traditional atomicos match!

Kobald vs. Qefka the Quiet - I don't mean to keep spamming this show with Flood vs. Chikara battles, but hey, it's kind of the big running theme for the company right now, right? This match would put El Torito vs. Hornswoggle to shame if just because the commentary would be better.

The Spectral Envoy vs. Colony X-Treme Force - The first match at Aniversario: Never Compromise was pretty good, so why not run with the rematch here?

Kizarny, 17, and deviANT vs. The Throwbacks and Kid Cyclone - Hey, why not have more trios matches?

Again, the only non-Flood vs. Chikara match on the show involves Eddie Kingston, but at this point, the battle needs to be fierce and overarching just to set a tone for the rest of the year. I know I left a few main parties off the card - Los Ice Creams, Obariyon, Kodama, the Baltic Siege, the Bloc Party, Ares, 3.0, and of course, the inimitable Archibald Peck - but booking a show is goddamn hard, especially with a roster as hefty as Chikara's is right now.

@tholzerman Does Mark Madden possess a human soul?
— Ray Jay Johnson (@ray_fuck) May 3, 2014

For as much as I rag on the guy, I can't call him soulless. I disagree with his takes more often than not, sure, but he does seem to care about people. He was one of the guys most vocally calling out Austin Aries and TNA for the incident involving Christy Hemme, which shows me a lot more than any of his HOT RASSLIN TAEKS ever could. So yeah, I don't think he's particularly useful as a wrestling observer/columnist, but he at least seems to have a modicum of decency.

@brianbrown25, whose tweets are protected, asks what the best WWF/E pay-per-view event in Philadelphia has been.

This answer might be a bit neophytic, but I would lean towards Money in the Bank 2013. Both ladder matches were pretty clutch, John Cena vs. Mark Henry was decent, and the preshow Tag Title match was really, really good. But then again, I'd have to go back and watch both SummerSlam 1990 and In Your House 10: Mind Games again, especially the latter. You can't go wrong with a peak Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind main event.

@tholzerman why can't wwe keep mid card guys apart, why do we need to see Cesaro, swagger 37 fucking times before "blowoff" at a B lvl ppv?
— The Chairman (@TheREALjKAM) May 3, 2014

Refer back to my answer for the O'Neil/Langston question, but yeah, the overbooking of rematches upon rematches is just stupid, especially since the company has forged an established match type in the last 18 months. Trios matches have been the new hotness with The Shield and the Wyatt Family, so why not combine feuds? Or better yet, why can't WWE use its sizable roster? It just doesn't make sense.

Photographic evidence in the OSHA violation folder for Extreme Rules Photo Credit: WWE.com

In the TH Style!

Highlights:

• El Torito defeated Hornswoggle in the WeeLC match with a West Coast Pop through a table.
• Rob van Dam wiped out on a Five Star Frogsplash into a trashcan, and then Cesaro put him into said trashcan with a Neutralizer to win the triple threat elimination match.
• Alexander Rusev easily dispatched of both R-Truth and Xavier Woods, tapping Truth with the Accolade.
• Bad News Barrett won the Intercontinental Championship for a fourth time by defeating Big E Langston with the Bullhammer.
• In a wild brawl that went outside of the ring for 2/3 of the competitors, Roman Reigns pinned Batista after a monster spear to get the win over Evolution for The Shield.
• Using help from "Little Johnny," Bray Wyatt hit John Cena with Sister Abigail's Kiss and escaped the cage.
• Paige retained the Divas Championship with the Scorpion Crosslock over Tamina Snuka.
• In the main event, Daniel Bryan used plunder aplenty, including a forklift, to defeat Kane and retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. The final blow was struck with the Knee-Plus after Kane went through a flaming table.

General Observations:

• Oh god, the WeeLC match was just one extended little person joke, from the little people caricatures of the announce team to the ring announcer to the miniaturized versions of the weapons.
• Seriously, Hornswoggle's finisher has him coming off the goddamn top rope. Why would he be scared of coming off a ladder that didn't even clear that third cable?
• I will say, however, that everyone in this match took some major bumps. It may not have been "good," but it surely was a spectacle.
• Paul Heyman came out to work the crowd before Cesaro's introduction in the three-way match by invoking ECW. When he predictably announced that his client Brock Lesnar had ended The Streak, the crowd booed him. He then went into saying the 11th Commandment of Extreme was never to boo him. Even though I'm getting tired of the whole gloating over The Streak shtick Heyman is using (not the fact that he's gloating, but how he's choosing to gloat), I thought that line was good.
• An Iron Sheik fathead in the crowd? C'mon Jersey, do better.
• Cesaro started a Giant Swing on Jack Swagger, and Rob van Dam, who had gotten solid support to that point, interrupted it. I don't know, but I think that was his big heel turn.
• RVD eliminated Swagger with the Five Star Frogsplash, which I totally missed because the camera work was pretty shitty all night and missed the shot. For as good as WWE's production team is at making recap videos, its cameramen are disappointingly subpar.
• I move to name Cesaro's rolling gutwrench suplexes Die Drei Freunde. All in favor, say "ja." All opposed... well shut up, no one wants to hear from you.
• Cesaro countering RVD's counter-stepover kick of painful waiting time into an Everest German suplex was perhaps the best-executed spot of the night.
• I spotted a "LOUD NOISES!" sign later on in this match in the crowd, which was infinitely better than the goddamn Sheik fathead.
• RVD broke out an honest to God Van Daminator with a trashcan on Cesaro. Did anyone on the announce team bother to pick it up? Nope.
• Stephanie McMahon walked into Daniel Bryan's locker room as he was getting medical attention and continued to prove why she's the best character in WWE today. I loved her concerned mom delivery. She gets my vote for most improved stage presence ever.
• Lana dedicated the Alexander Rusev handicap squash match to Vladimir Putin. Strong troll game, but the show was in North New Jersey. She should have dedicated it to Mikhail Prokhorov. I mean, he moved a team out of that same arena two years ago into Brooklyn. He would've gotten nuclear heat!
• Was I the only one who thought R-Truth had Cthulhu on his left pant leg?
• Crowd sign "Where is Phil Brooks?" He's at home. Try to keep up.
• I am a terrible person, but I thought someone should have come out and tried to heel on the Special Olympics kids to get nuclear, nuclear crowd hate. Then again, with some of these WWE crowds nowadays...
• Bad News Barrett came out and immediately started talking about the MERS virus. I wonder how many people actually got that reference. Not sure how many people anywhere read news anymore.
• Big E Langston came out to crickets. I blame WWE. Dude is a transcendent, quirky guy, and the company shoehorned him into the generic big guy babyface role. Disappointing all around.
• I have to wonder if Big E's spearing Barrett through the ropes off the apron into the table was called on the fly as an attempt to get people to cheer him. Either way, it was a gnarly-looking move.
• Seth Rollins kicked off the non-brouhaha portion of the Shield/Evolution match by landing a plancha to the outside... and nailing his head against the barricade. Dude is gonna get himself killed, but at least it will be for the crowd's enjoyment.
• Rollins tried to make the hot tag at one point, drawing Triple H and Batista charging across the ring to knock both his teammates off the apron. Stuff like that happens all the time in tag matches, but I was impressed by the unison the two guys achieved racing across the ring.
• Dean Ambrose may not have perfected in-ring crazy yet, but he's goddamn close.
• At one point, Ambrose tried to lock in the figure four, which I bet caused The Miz to punch a monitor backstage.
• Trips and Orton were mauling Rollins in the timekeeper's area, and Ambrose galloped across BOTH announce tables and leaped into the fray like a kid jumping into a lake. Seriously, he ran across two tables just to leap into some action. I love his crazy.
• That led into the awesome fray on the outside which featured Ambrose getting thrown down the steps and Rollins leaping from the concourse onto Trips, Orton, and Ambrose as the final bit of action before the finish in the ring. Rollins keeps proving he's the best possible Jeff Hardy every big match he's in.
• Bray Wyatt pulled in both his minions before the cage match began and whispered instructions into their ears. The look in Luke Harper's eyes was supremely eerie. I loved it.
• Early in the match, Wyatt tried tossing John Cena into the cage, but he blocked it. Cena maneuvered into an offensive sequence, but Wyatt countered that and threw Cena into the cage like he first intended. It was a neat sequence, and a good example of two guys "earning" a spot in the match.
• Cena had all three Wyatts wasted inside the cage and went to exit when the trademark Wyatt BLEARP happened and the arena went dark. When the lights came back up, one of the choir kids from last Monday was there singing "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" in a super-altered voice. I generally don't seek out horror movies, but I love when wrestling angles visit horror tropes, and nothing from that genre is creepier than possessed children.
• My Internet kept ducking in and out during the Divas Championship match, but holy crap, Tamina Snuka and Paige recreating the Cesaro/Miz swing-into-the-barricade spot looked goddamn stiff.
• Another Wyatt BLEARP, and the camera went backstage. The child was there with the Wyatts, and he has a name, Little Johnny. A lot of jokes about being related to "Little Jimmy" flew on Twitter, but the kid bore a striking resemblance to a certain "Big Johnny" who used to be the General Manager of both RAW and Smackdown. Hmmm....
• As a lot of matches in WWE, extreme rules or otherwise, tend to have done in them, Daniel Bryan and Kane broke down both announce tables like someone was going to through one, which set up a great spot with Bryan kicking Kane from the Spanish one and then following up with a tornado DDT to the floor.
• The brawling went all the way up the ramp, and Kane tossed Bryan into the video wall right by the entrance. I think someone in the production truck was slow on the draw, because the screen didn't go out in response to the move until a second or two later. Kane upped that ante right after by throwing a flatscreen TV into a tub full of ice water in the Gorilla position. THAT reaction - an explosion - was real and immediate.
• Who knew that Ezekiel Jackson's first appearance in years on TV would be AFTER he was released? In other news, how often does WWE replace the wraps on its production truck so that Ezekiel Jackson was still one of the trailers in 2014?
• Bryan and Kane went full Street Fighter on a random car in the production area, with Kane putting the final blow on it by tossing a heavy metal gas canister through the windshield. My friend Tom K. joked that it was Zack Ryder's car. I laughed until I realized that he was probably right.
• The entire sequence with the forklift was brilliant and inventive and the most Daniel Bryan hardcore match thing ever. However, I hope OSHA wasn't watching when Bryan stood on the pallet with the forklift raised up to do his headbutt. You can get a major violation for doing that.
• The easiest explanation for the existence of gas cans underneath the ring is that Kane put them there with the blessing of the people running the company, you know, the ones who unleashed him on Bryan in the first place, before the show began. Occam's Razor, people.

Match of the Night:Batista, Randy Orton, and Triple H vs. Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins - Triple H has been involved in the best match in two consecutive WWE pay-per-views in 2014. Call a priest for some expert opinion, because I think that omen is a sign of one of the Great Seals of the Apocalypse being broken. Snark aside, The Shield continued its streak of absolutely stunning performances in six-man tag team matches, this time continuing down an even newer path than what brought its excellence to the forefront in the first place. Evolution didn't need to be much more than canvases from which its opponent group needed to work, but the trio of Trips, Randy Orton, and Batista provided just enough more to make this match an all-timer.

Both Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose had stellar, superlative face-in-peril sequences that dominated the early portion of the match in completely different ways. Rollins went the stunt bumping route, both on insane highspots like his plancha to the outside where he rammed his head against the barricade, and on taking routine offense and adding just enough juice to his bumping that it would make his gassed-up opposition wrestlers look like they had the strength to back up their inflated musculature. To Evolution's credit, the spot where Batista and Triple H rushed across the ring to prevent Rollins from making the tag was glorious in their synchronicity charging across the ring.

Ambrose's turn being taken to the woodshed was brilliant because of his manic, "take on the whole world" style of offense that led into it. He took the hot tag from Rollins and immediately charged into the foreign corner like a Viking berserker on methamphetamine. He went down because he was eventually overcome, but even he still had a few charges in him, swinging punch drunkenly at Triple H at one point like an overzealous drunk getting rope-a-doped by the boyfriend of a target of a cheap pickup attempt at the bar.

But the final act of the match is what people will be talking about for good reason. From the finisher derby that took place before the action spilled out into the crowd on, the air of the arena took a chaotic turn, and entropy is an environment where The Shield excels. The brawl on the outside built to such a tense crescendo, especially with Ambrose being flung down the steps in his own, manic style, that when Rollins came off the concourse and wiped everyone else in that fray out, it sparked a powder keg in the arena. It immediately made Batista's and Roman Reign's layabout session in the ring go from tacked-on to climactic, and Reigns hit an epic spear to put a cap on the match. Excellent work was put in by all six men to punctuate a weird but wild pay-per-view/special event.

Overall Thoughts: This show was a microcosm of WWE's current card structure. The top of the show seems to be humming along nicely, and the three matches that were on top of the show overdelivered, the pre-show comedy match was polarizing if not a spectacle, and everything else just felt like it was there. For an overall company mission statement, that layout is a problem, but when three strong matches anchor the end of a show, then the chaff can be forgiven.

Firstly, the main event of the show was such a fun, popcorn match, and a departure from the standard Daniel Bryan main event match. Sure, it had the length and Bryan adopting the ultimate underdog role within the match. For a guy who is the most able and convincing pro wrestler in the world, a fact adopted by everyone at this point, he's so adept at selling the fact that he might end up dying in a match. Here, he and Kane also took up the trend of trying to recreate the Attitude Era with a modern flair. One could argue that a Kane match in 2014 needed to have forklifts, flaming tables, gas canisters being thrown through car windshields, and chokeslams through tables, but I can't hate on anything that worked.

With that statement in mind, I also thought the John Cena and Bray Wyatt match worked. I could see why it would be polarizing the way it was laid out, and those complaints are nested within the way WWE cage matches often work. The escape-the-cage stipulation is out of character for many WWE faces, and it often makes guys look foolish. One complaint that I feel is a bit needy however is that "[insert action here] makes this guy look dumb." Maybe the story calls for a character to look dumb sometimes, mainly because in sport, or in real life, people act awfully stupid from time to time. Even folks whose reps supposedly make them out to be smart can make a bad rash decision in the heat of the moment.

To be eminently fair, Cena's not the Cerebral Assassin. Loyalty can be blind and misplaced. Hustle means acting before thinking, and respect can be given against better judgment. And the shock horror value of the little kid with the voiceover singing in his face as a failsafe for Wyatt was far greater than any value in Cena looking like a brilliant strategist. Great characterization doesn't mean making everyone look as cool and tough and strong and smart as possible. If that were the case, Triple H would be the model of great wrestling personae over the last decade, and lord knows no truth exists in that statement.

Speaking of Cerebral Assassins, well, the match itself between Evolution and The Shield spoke volumes about its quality and place on the show. The match that was given the most attention in the build delivered the most bang for buck on the telecast. I wonder if the wrestlers get that vibe and end up producing better with more proportionate attention (with some exception, as Cesaro pretty much put in another godly performance in the proper opener). OR maybe the agents are more careful in laying the matches out due to story attention. I honestly don't know, but no other card seemed to show that stratification more than Extreme Rules. Whether that sign forebodes well or poorly for WWE is fodder for a whole other post, but at least it made for a eminently entertaining special event.

Cedric Alexander was announced as Kazuchika Okada's opponent for War of the Worlds in New York after the latter lost his IWGP World Heavyweight Championship to AJ Styles. As with the Hiroshi Tanahashi/Mike Bennett match announcement, groans went up on Twitter and around other circles of ROH fandom because Alexander "isn't on Okada's level." That statement may be true, but much like with the Bennett/Tanahashi match, I don't give a flying shit about disparity in card position. Alexander is one of the best guys on the indies today, and I'm glad he's getting a shot at Okada. In a little bit of synergy here, Pro Wrestling Xperience booked an Alexander/Styles match back in January, and it was pretty snazzy. Get on my level and know what Alexander can bring to the table. Then get hype for War of the Worlds.

In keeping with long-held Full Sail tradition, when the Women's Championship is vacant eight women compete for the honor of being the top of that food chain.  And even on a show where there was a no-DQ blowoff match with the NXT Championship on the line it should come as little surprise to the knowledgeable fan that yet again, as they've tended to do post-ArRIVAL, that the ladies stole the show.

The latest installment of Bayley v. Sasha was the best off of the lead-in promos alone, where the latter threatened to hit the former so hard it'd knock her side pony straight and the former wanted to be Champion more than she wanted 10 hugs from Cena, Big E deciding three ain't enough man he'd need five high-fives, or both from Paige.  Once the opening round skirmish commenced, Sasha immediately went to work on Bayley in the corner only to fall victim to a series of rollups, including the criminally underused La Magistral.  Bayley brought more lucha with a springboard armdrag; she being Bayley she followed it up with a series of huge into the corner.  But Sasha would weather the storm and survive the belly-to-Belly to fire off her (apparently) signature straightjacket neckbreaker and counter another b2B to snap off a Backstabber and finally get a long-deserved victory with a modified Crossface.  She'll be taking on NattieKat in the semis, as the Canadian made Layla do the Bojangles in the night's other lesser first rounder.  Upcoming for the bottom half of the bracket is Emma/Charlotte and Alexa Bliss in her debut against Alicia Fox.  It must be assumed that's happening because if you can't be in at least a serviceable match with Aksana's running buddy whether it's your TV debut or not then you can join the list of releases that just occurred last week.

Said releases made the going for Adam Rose over Danny Burch and Mojo Rawley over Oliver Grey loser leaves town matches by the two sweetest words in the English language.  Obviously, Rose is about to debut on RAW irregardless of if Camacho still has beef with him and Rawley's getting the rocket push so neither of them were in any horrible danger.  Still, though, it goes to underline the precariousness of not being able to swim in the deep waters of the most talented roster ever assembled.  Burch seemed to start showing good stuff as Ugly Jerk Brawler, and Grey seems tragically destined to be the Jannetty to his ex-partner's HBK.  It can only be assumed he was cheering in his heart of hearts as Aiden English jumped the former footballer even if his advantage didn't last long.

About the only real problem Adrian Neville had was who was sent at him for a second opponent.  Bo Dallas had established himself as an even unwitting scumbag, so there was something on the line and the possibility that the Englishman was in danger.  Against Brodus Clay, who couldn't even beat him in a non-title match?  Who hadn't won for months?  In this case the fireworks factory was the Man That Gravity Forgot finally putting the land monster behind him by slamming into him with a Red Arrow, and with the match being no-DQ the belt was driven into both men's chest to boot.  It was more interesting trying to figure out if the crowd was chanting "Please don't eat him" at Clay than anything he was doing, and it was possible since they would go on to chant Koopa Troopa at him as well. With that put aside, who's next up for the Champion?

Maybe Tyson Kidd?  He made his unspoken claim to the crown by besting Bo Dallas in the show opener clean in the middle of the ring with the Blockbuster.  It does say something about his singles career to date that the crowd was chanting Total Divas at him early and when he won both viewer and announcers were initially stunned, followed almost immediately by "Wait a minute, why were we initially stunned?" But seeing as how his wife got hooked up to the Rejuvenation Machine last fall with her excursions down Florida way it's obviously hoped the trip will do the same for TK, and a match with him v. Neville would be a fun bit of aerial goodie v. goodie...well, goodness.  Despite the fact that the former NXT Champion's new Tron looks like an inspiration porn version of the epic Hollywood Rock video and his music sounds like an Arcade Fire instrumental jokingly covered by the band themselves, he couldn't get enough steam behind him to beat Kidd.  He got in nearly ten of his signatures and after using the ring as a weapon against his opponent wore him down with a couple of cravates but Oliver Sudden Kidd had taken him out despite his exhortations he'd gotten his shoulder up.   Hopefully this isn't the last we see of Bo as an NXT regular, since the relationship between him and the fanbase is a crucial part of what started to make NXT special to begin with and something that can't be replicated the moment he punches his ticket back to Monday and Friday nights if at all.

It's completely appropriate Triple H started off the show and noted "it's like NXT is taking over the world".  RAW, full of NXT alums has become Full Sailafied and is all the better for it.  With a bevy of future callups all either eyeing holding a title or literally possessing them, the future keeps winding into the present more and more by the week.  When Takeover happens at the end of the month as another two-hour NXT Special, it'll be interesting to see who're the Champions, who their main competitors are, and who's already on RAW living the dream.

Ravishing and resilient Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Paige (Last Week: 2) - Proving once again that females are at the very least as tough as males this week at Extreme Rules was the Divas Champion. She, like The Miz, took a giant swing to the barricade from an opponent sizably larger than she was. Unlike The Miz, she came back the very same night (in the same match even, although to be fair, Miz was attacked outside of the confines of a contest) and made her assailant tap out to the most badass looking submission finish in the company. No, but you keep telling me how women wrestlers will never be able to look tough or be badass.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Bryan's performance in keeping his WWE World Championship last night was impressive, but he also made several OSHA violations. One, he drove a forklift without having his CDL. Two, he climbed on top of said forklift on an unstable pallet for the express purpose of diving off with no fall protection. Third, he used a tool, in this case a crowbar, not for its intended purposes. Four, he performed work on an unstable surface, i.e. the hood of a car. Five, he worked near an open flame without fire resistant clothing. However, looking back upon his case, he's an independent contractor, so he's not really under the standards and practices of OSHA. For once, that designation works in a wrestler's favor!

3. Tacos (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Today is Cinco de Mayo. Eat a taco. Hell, eat tacos on days OTHER than Cinco de Mayo. They're good for you. I think. Ah who cares, tacos rule.

4. The Chicken Lady (Last Week: Not Ranked) - This woman hasn't had to pay for chicken at the Publix for over a year. Not only has that feat gotten her on this list, she's risen on the Chicken Power Poll over Frank Perdue AND The Hound.

5. The Statue of Satan outside the Oklahoma State Courthouse (Last Week: Not Ranked) - It's about damn time the Dark Lord himself got some representation along with all those corny God worshippers.

6. Matt Cross (Last Week: 5) - Minus, he lost the 24/7 Championship (although he did have the most successful self-deprecating title match in history). Plus, he won the first ever SMASH Championship. Give and take. Give and take.

7. Little Johnny (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, creepy kids are my warm and happy place. I had a rough childhood.

8. Mark Henry (Last Week: 8) - Mark Henry knows the true spirit of Cinco de Mayo, which is celebrating the Mexican Army's victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla. In commemoration, he has conquered France.

9. Bayley (Last Week: Not Ranked) - WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN! WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN! WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUBE MAN!

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She refrained from entering the NXT Women's Championship Tournament for fear that she might hurt everyone's feelings. Not just the women either.

She's a former Diva's Champion. Why is she super-afraid of another wrestler again? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Paige last night got a showcase match for her Divas Championship. She bumped hard for Tamina Snuka, did her best to work around her opponent's deficiencies, and she got a clean victory in the middle of the ring with her complex submission hold. I would like to have taken that display as a sign that maybe, just maybe, women were gaining some kind of primacy within WWE. The days of a limited role-set within the main narrative could be finished as soon as now.

The only mention of Paige on RAW tonight, however, was a mention on Zeb Colter's Deportation List. No women saw action in the ring, actually. The only women who appeared on the show who weren't Rosebuds, Renee Young, or appearing in an advertisement for Total Divas were Brie Bella and Stephanie McMahon. They were props in a greater story, almost as if they were cast aside and told "Men are driving the action."

Obviously, McMahon held more of a role of power and primacy, but is her agency due to her gender, or has her surname given her the same kind of importance as those with dicks? And one night left off the show with a roster as bloated as WWE's is right now might not be so bad. But Brie Bella's role on the show, in conjunction with the lack of any presence of the newly minted superstar, felt cheap, like WWE still hadn't learned a thing.

Obviously, Bella is not on the level of her husband in terms of being an in-ring competitor. She's not even on the level of Paige, even now if I'm being real. However, she does have training. She knows how to handle herself. So, if she would feel threatened, why wouldn't she at least offer a token of self-defense? Does the disparity in genitalia create so much of a gap in ability that Bella should react as if the Emerald Weapon was bearing down upon her? As far as I know, that shit doesn't fly in real life. Bella can handle herself, and with her in the vicinity is the best wrestler in the goddamn company, a guy who had just beaten said assailant the night before and who will beat him again at Payback (God willing).

Women are not damsels in distress, especially ones who moonlight as wrestlers. Women watch RAW at a great clip, and while I don't purport to speak for all of them, I can only assume that they would like to have the same thrill of seeing someone who looks like them kick ass above their paygrade like I do when I see any number of cis, white, able-bodied men do the same. It's the same principle with the horrendous cacophony masquerading as a soundtrack for the El Torito/Hornswoggle feud, one that has been sold as a joke using little people as the butt rather than comic relief using the abilities of those performers to satisfy the crowd. It's the same principle that makes cutting Mr. T's heartfelt Hall of Fame speech into a mocking promo for Mother's Day against the super racist dancing mama troupe from WrestleMania XXVIII.

The ignorant rebuttal to this argument is that one should just sit back and watch the show for entertainment. Well, sorry, but watching general awfulness towards humans for things they cannot change is not entertaining to me. I shouldn't have to excuse racism, bigotry against little people, or especially misogyny just because it's being presented as entertainment. I'm not sure I should have to defend that, but hey, if you like watching people be presented in a Stone Age light and excusing it because "entertainment," the problem is not with me pointing it out.

Brie Bella deserves better. Daniel Bryan and Kane deserve better. Most of all, the fans, especially the underserved female fans who continue to watch despite the fact that WWE tells them they're worthless in no uncertain terms deserve better. Wrestling doesn't have to be socially backwards by rule. WWE could present a product that attempts to be progressive without dulling the edges around the traditional things that make its art great. But it doesn't.

And fuck, it didn't even give the fans Paige owning fools as a peace offering either.

I almost thought Adam Rose was going to debut during the El Torito/Los Matadores Cinco de Mayo party because, duh, it was a party, but him interrupting Zeb Colter's and Jack Swagger's gripe session was an even better entree onto the main roster. Speaking of which, WWE baffles me sometimes, placing the quick-witted and avuncular Dutch Mantell into the role of the xenophobic jackass I'm supposed to boo. I want to like him, I really do! Regardless, I can't wait for Colter to go on some anti-rabbit tirade in the coming weeks. If WWE was going to break Antonio Cesaro away from a feud with Swagger, then Rose was the best possible replacement.