 |
| Ten-hut. maggots Photo Credit: WWE.com |
1. Sgt. Slaughter (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Since today is Veteran's Day, I might as well give the top spot to the most famous army-type wrestler. In all seriousness, regardless of my feelings on the motivations of the last few wars our nation's troops have been involved in, those in the military don't get to pick the conflicts they have to serve in. This nation would not be where it is, for better or worse, without those who have fought in various wars, and they deserve a salute.
2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 4) - I know teaming with CM Punk against the Wyatt Family has awesome feud potential written all over it, but the best thing Bryan could be doing with Punk is calling him out over using the term "Best in the World" to describe himself. C'mon, everyone knows Bryan laps Punk in that field. That feud is the one that will get me excited.
3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 5) - All I know is that if she were in charge of scheduling shit down in Austin, the Vegan Chili Cook-off would have happened at Fun, Fun, Fun! Fest at the same time as the Veggie Hot Dog Eating Contest, and everyone would have had to have eaten chili dogs. THANKS OBAMA.
4. Mark Henry (Last Week: 2) - Rumor states that he's been hard at work recording Rick Ross' next album since Ross would rather drink Cristal and drive fast cars all around Miami. I heard he'll have a bangin' joint with James Harden.
5. Jimmy Graham (Last Week: 7) - Alright, no human being with plantar fasciitis can drag a grown-ass man five yards to first down yardage, but Jimmy Graham did so against the Cowboys last night. He's not human. He can't be.
6. AJ Lee (Last Week: 6) - She should just cut to the chase and start Black Widowing people backstage, since that would be way more interesting than beating up the cast of Total Divas week in and week out. Don't let her hold back from anyone. Kaitlyn, Stephanie McMahon, Jane Geddes, Stu the Cameraman, Cthulhu...
7. The Estonian Thunder Frog (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The first 24/7 Champion won the belt over the weekend in the least family friendly way possible, a side of the Frog that I was both shocked and excited to see. He also lost a tooth at the Wrestling Is Art double feature, which begs the question "Wait a second, since when do frogs have teeth?"
8. The Wu-Tang Clan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Enter the 36 Chambers turned 20 this past weekend, which is the ultimate verification of the statement "Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin' ta fuck wit'."
9. Hot 'n Sour Soup (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - On average, the hot 'n sour soup is the best thing one can find on an Americanized Chinese food restaurant's menu. If the joint doesn't have good hot 'n sour soup, don't eat there.
10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She is petitioning WWE hard to have their next movie be a remake of The Karate Kid, only with her as Mr. Miyagi and the Bella Twins as Daniel-san. The movie would play out as a "based on true events" deal.