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The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 95: Danielle Matheson II (Mailbag!)

April 24, 2013, 7:25 pm
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OH NO!
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Episode 95: Beelzebubba Rogers

Danielle Matheson, both of here and of The Mandible Claw, is back, and we're answering mailbag questions! We go through a bunch of your queries, including a lot of discussion about Chikara, especially Robert Newsome's theories about what this season is all about. We also get into some culinary talk with our favorite condiments and non-alcoholic beverages. We cast an all-wrestler season of The Real World in Seattle, pick which wrestlers we'd like to do karaoke with, talk about transformative female wrestlers, and finish up on who the worst World Champion in this current century has been. Dani asks me what matches I'd time travel to go see, and I ask her what dinosaur she'd want to be.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure.
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Best Coast Bias: You're Better Off Listening To The New Daft Punk Song 15 Times

April 25, 2013, 4:20 am
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THAT'S WHAT HE DO
Photo Credit: WWE.com
There is an unspoken agreement, and apparently it's so unspoken only half of the participants knew that the agreement existed.

Roughly, it goes like this: the WWE uses this as a dumping ground adjacent where the biggest names get to ply their wares.  I do things like stop drinking early and hanging out with friends to make sure a BCB goes up in a timely fashion for you, the Wrestling Blogite! (thumbs up) ((cheap pop))

In this week's instance, I would've been fine continuing to drink.  Actually, that's not a retelling of the entire story--the show actively had me looking for a double IPA.  Or maybe a quintuple.

It started off hopeful, as JBL called Michael Cole names and brought out Mark Henry.  "Here comes Mark Henry," I said.  "So this is gonna be fun," I said.  "Some fool is going to get their wig split directly," I said. 

Through a combination of thin skin and mostly justified arrogance in short order through interacting/threatening JBL, Henry now had a four man gauntlet on his hands.  A regular Barrett Barrage for the other 13 people who watch this regularly.  It started off fine, as well.   I learned how to tell Jimmy and Jey Uso apart, for example: Jimmy is the one stupid enough to charge at Mark and goes SPLUT in about a minute, Jey is the one who gets in a sliver of offense before going SPLUT.

We now pause for a moment of levity as Santino came out, looking nervous and making the signs of the cross.  Is that the proper response to have when one summons Levithan?  Maybe a Catholic can help me out on this.  Santino did some of his SMMA feints to nothing, then let out the manliest of yelps when Henry threatened to hit him.

"Hey, Bradshaw!  (forearms Santino at full strength in the chest)  You see that?"

"I think it's great, Mark."

Sadly, that would be the high point OF THE SHOW.  The Cobra actually hit (?) but the kickout sent Santino out of the ring; when he flew off the top it was into the evening's third World Strongest Slam.

And now to end this run, the actual challenge in this sort of setup...the Great Khali.  If a dude had thrown me over the announce table with such force and venom it's in his TitanTron, I would've kindly rebuffed any future match advances.  If a man had broken my leg and had a disposition as disagreeable as his theme music was awesome, I'd also relent my spot and make it available to the next warm corp...body.  This is why people in our part of the world complain about things, because we're the idiots with a fully functioning long-term memory.  I suppose things could be worse, they could be referring to the babyface unit in this iteration as Nakhaliya.  (If that becomes a thing, a hundred apologies on my end.)  Khali hit the judo chop and Henry teetered but was still upright so a second one post-shrug dropped him, but only for two.  It wasn't Eddie's shrug after Rhinocerous Gored Lord Voldemort at that Vengeance, but it was quite the homeless man's gratifying moment.  Henry powers out of a Plunge attempt, and SPLUTs Khali--

--and then he got his foot on the rope and the show inexorably hit the skids from there.  Khali hit Henry with an admittedly impressive boot and another Judo Chop that sent Henry out of the ring.  Once out there, Mark thought about, decided he liked the view, and walked.  Yes, again.  Yes, on Main Event, again.  If Henry ends up eating JBL and spitting out a 10-gallon in the next five days, this is why.

Where's the JBL that I want to eat?  We've seen Henry beat Khali before; hell, we've seen the architect of destruction put Khali in the Hall.  The last I checked, this Wednesday night programme wasn't Bombay exclusive.  What in every analogue of the four-letter F-bomb was that!?  Khali doesn't need to be protected, he can barely move.  He's not on the PPV, Henry is in a match against Sheamus you're trying to get people into because, y'know, HOSS FIGHT.    What made this even more galling is that he actually hit the Slam on him.  There is a plutocracy in WWE, another way a bunch of men playing out a script in their underwear resembles America at its core, and in it Mark Henry is either a king or something close and Khali is the well-meaning but slow commoner who tries really hard to plow the fields.  And that happened anyway.

Somewhere on the Internet I assure you Captain Picard is complaining.

Indefensible endings, a reheated Zeb Coulter promo in which he wasn't merely missing his fastball, but his split-finger, his sinker, his spitter and his eephus, then ten minutes of recaps to close the show, a show so bad that I  almost named this BCB "Roger Ebert Was Originally Going To Review This But He Took The Easy Way Out".

That's what they do, apparently.
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Ooh, Look Who Gets to See Iron Man 3 Before Everyone Else

April 25, 2013, 1:20 pm
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Via Imgur/r/Squared Circle

So yeah, not only do CM Punk and Amy "Lita" Dumas get to attend the premiere of Iron Man 3, they get to walk the red carpet. I wonder if any of the dorks at the ECW Arena thought Miss Congeniality would make it this far. Well, I honestly don't care what they think. This is way cool. I would lose my shit if CM Punk somehow showed up in Avengers 2. I know he probably would too, since he's a comic book reader and lifelong fan.
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WSU Reads My Mind

April 25, 2013, 2:35 pm
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Welp, it's happening. Jessicka Havok will be taking on Sami Callihan at King and Queen of Ring in Vorhees, NJ on May 11th. Yeah, I know, Callihan still has to accept the challenge, but do you think they even release the YouTube video if they didn't have the match in place? I was afraid this match wouldn't happen before Callihan made his magical mystery journey to a far off corporation in the mystical hills outside New York that isn't official yet, but c'mon, it's happening. However, it looks like it will happen, and bah Gawd, King, I will more than likely be in attendance. Sweet.
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WWE WrestleMania Buys and You

April 25, 2013, 4:05 pm
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Photo  Credit: WWE.com
Via Variety

WWE announced to Variety that the company earned a record $72 million for WrestleMania 29 in total revenue. This includes ticket sales and pay-per-view buys. This is base speculation, but if you add in the merch sales and other ancillary stuff, they probably made a whole bunch more too, and with the indie wrestling stuff, hotel sales, restaurant business, and all the other good stuff that comes with a festival of this magnitude, the economic impact for the New York metropolitan area was probably staggering.

Why am I mentioning financial news? Because, unlike most things that are reported about WWE's financial and consumption statistics, this is one of the only numbers that matter. The money WWE makes at Mania sets it up for the rest of the year. It's probably not enough to say that all other 11 pay-per-views, house show gates, and ad revenue are gravy, but I can't see how they're scraping by week to week, especially with this tentpole keeping the place covered.

People in 2013 still kvetch about the week-to-week ratings or singular buyrates as if they mean anything anymore. They don't. Here are the things I fully believe that you, as a fan, should be worried about: your enjoyment of the show, WWE's social progress or lack thereof, the wrestling matches, memes, whom they sign and release, and how cool or lame their merchandise is. You can disagree with me all you want, and that's fine. You've got a mind of your own, and if you wanna follow the business side of things, knock yourself out. I'm just saying, overreacting to it might give you an ulcer unnecessarily.

Still, if you're going to concern yourself with the business aspect of it, know which numbers are important. The rating for the September 9th, 2013 episode of RAW is immaterial. Look at ratings trends from year to year, and then supplement that with social media activity, the kinds of ads that are appearing during RAW, and whether or not networks are continuing to add new WWE programming to their schedules (hint, they are).

As for pay-per-views, Mania's the only one that's important. If they have a good year, then hey, WWE is probably going to be around for the indefinite future. If not, then hey, that's good news for you too, because that usually means they'll try something new and fresh for the next year And hey, unless the number is Mania bad, like 800K, and something that's bad bad, like, say, 250K, it still means they'll be around for the foreseeable future.

So yeah, this is one of the only numbers that matters, and it's a good number. If you're a fan of WWE, and I would hazard a guess that at least 90% of you who read this are, then you don't have to worry about the company up and disappearing. The next time someone starts talking about how bad a singular show rating is going to be like it's the end of the world, smack them in the head and say "You could've had a V8! remind them that WWE is the only show that produces 52 weeks of original content a year and that every week can't be a win. Then remind them they made a buttload of money for Mania, so things aren't all that bad.
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Instant Feedback: Hogan Doesn't Know Best (Guest Report!)

April 25, 2013, 7:10 pm
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I'm all in on watching the NFL Draft this week and will catch Impact on the DVR. However, Drop Toehold writer, Wrestling Bro, and extraordinary indie fan De O'Brien fills in this week with the Impact instant feedback report. Enjoy!
Man oh man everyone's pissed off at Hulk Hogan, aren't they? From Aces and Eights, who seem to merely want him out of the way; to Matt Morgan, who just wants to be number one contender in exchange for taking care of Aces and Eights, Hogan can't seem to catch a break.

I can understand why Bully Ray might have a bone to pick with Hulk, his father-in-law, if this whole "Aces and Eights are infiltrating TNA" had actually gone somewhere after its promising reveal, but uhm... Bully, if you're married to Brooke, isn't it more fun to make Daddy-In-Law suffer by bullying (see what I did there) his daughter? I mean, she IS his little girl, isn't he more likely to give you what you want if you have some hold over her? Don't aim for the father; go after the daughter. Woo her. Yo did before, ya big lug, and somehow ended up married to her, so ... turn on the charm; make her the Gemma to your Clay, and bring Hogan to his knees using honey, not vinegar.

Morgan, on the other hand? I have never seen someone more unworthy of a number one contendership for any reason in recent memory. What have you DONE, Morgan? Teamed with Joey Ryan? Yes, that was hilarious, but not because you were involved; it was funny because anything gross and slightly inappropriate Joey Ryan does is gold. You're just there. You're the Easter Island Head of Charisma. Please give a better reason for wanting this shot - say you've been overlooked, say you're not the hero TNA needs right now but you're the one it deserves, whatever it takes that doesn't make you seem like some weirdo who showed up at a private party with your zipper down and Cheetos in hand.

I was going to give Taz points here for being smarter than Michael Cole and knowing which Knockout is which, but then he compared ODB to Ronnie Van Zant, and as much as I love Lynyrd Skynyrd, fuck Taz.

4tune getting back together is something I initially started to say NOPE to, but hey, Austin Aries as needy, jealous friend who also might be the voice of reason is a pretty cool idea, so I couldn't care less if AJ actually reforms 4tune, as long as they realize they have a great replacement in Aries.

CHRIS EFFING SABIN COMES BACK NEXT WEEK. HAIL SABIN.

Closing the show with Sting and Hogan in the ring was a nice touch and would've been more appreciated if this didn't feel like a rebooted episode of Nitro. I'm glad Sting wants to be buddies again and indicates this by pointing his bat at Hogan, but seriously, TNA, take this storyline somewhere or you'll force me to start watching things like December To Dismember.

And really, no one wants that.
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Friday Five: The Draft

April 26, 2013, 4:25 am
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Topical!

1. Do you miss the WWE Draft?

2. Buy or Sell: The Draft RAWs were the best because they were the most packed with wrestling.

3. Do you play fantasy wrestling (not the e-fed game, but the fantasy football styled rotisserie game), and if not, would you?

4. What player from this year's NFL Draft do you think would make the best professional wrestler?

5. If all wrestlers were free agents, and you had the first overall pick in a hypothetical dispersal draft, whom would you select?
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Any Shows This Weekend? Gangstas, iPPVs, and Fun

April 26, 2013, 11:45 am
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Will Delaney be able to shake Eric Ryan's tree tonight?
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Another weekend is upon us, which means another great slate of pro wrestling shows are on the docket. I am going to be highlighting a handful of shows this weekend, but as always, check out Pro Wrestling Events to get the full scoop on the entire world of wrestling, actually. No matter where you live, there's probably a show near you, and it could be good.

Tonight's big event is at Turners Hall in Cleveland, OH, as Absolute Intense Wrestling presents Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta, doors opening at 6:30 PM local. The main event will see Colin Delaney teaming up with Matt Cross and Josh Prohibition to take on the Nixon faction (Rickey Shane Page, Bobby Beverly, and Absolute Champion Eric Ryan). Delaney has a shot at Ryan coming up at Absolution 8, so he has his selfish reasons to team up with AIW originals to take out the disenchanted faction. Also on the show, the Batiri will look to take back the Tag Team Champions from the team that dethroned them, Hope and Change (Veda Scott and Gregory Iron), Chris Dickinson and BJ Whitmer will engage in a Pick Your Poison series, and there'll be a four way match featuring ACH, Davey Vega, Louis Lyndon, and Gary Jay.

In Ybor City, FL at the Orpheum, Full Impact Pro with Ascension. The belltime will be 9PM, and you can order this on iPPV, that is if you haven't been thoroughly disenchanted and pissed off at the way WWN Live handled the EVOLVE WrestleCon Weekend show debacle. I wouldn't punish the wrestlers, since they do rely on views for their livelihood, but man, I don't blame anyone for being fed up with the lousy fucking customer service from Gabe Sapolsky, Sal Hamaoui, and the rest of their arrogant crew of misfits. But anyway, if you don't care about things like that and just wanna see some rasslin', then here's what's scheduled for you. Jon Davis defends his FIP Heavyweight Championship against Homicide, who is on his farewell tour. Will he add another belt to his fold before exiting the business? Also, you'll see Trent Barretta going up against AR Fox, which should be a really good high-flying affair.

Also on iPPV tonight is NWA Smoky Mountain's Smoky Mountain Cup. If you want to go live, it's in Kingsport, TN at the Kingsport Civic Auditorium at 7 PM local, and for everyone else, you can order it here on iPPV. The main event will be Davey Richards challenging for Chase Owens' NWA Junior Heavyweight Championship. The titular tournament will be contested with six first round matches and then a six-man final. Participants include Fred Yehi, Adam Pearce, Tony Kozina, Kyle O'Reilly, Damien Wayne, and RICKY MORTON.

In Philly tonight, at the Vogt Recreation Center, Combat Zone Wrestling is putting on a benefit show for disabled veterans called GI Bill. The show is at 7:30 PM, and you can get in with a $10 donation. Matt Tremont will be battling Danny Havoc in the main event. Also appearing on the show will be Lance Steel, BLK-Out, DJ Hyde, Devon Moore, and "many more."

Saturday's biggest show is happening in Arlington Heights, IL at the Home of Music and Entertainment. AAW presents Take No Prisoners, with a door-open time of 6:30 PM local. The top match will pit Brian Kendrick against Shane Hollister, the old school of indie high fliers against the new one. Also on the show, Masada looks to take Michael Elgin's AAW Championship, and MsChif, ACH, Louis Lyndon, the Irish Airborne, Mat Fitchett, and Jimmy Jacobs will be among the others competing.

Up north in Ottawa at the Knights of Columbus Hall, Capital City Championship Combat will run Domination 2K13, doors at 7 PM local. The main event is a Fans Bring the Keyboards match between "Speedball" Mike Bailey and the "Hacker" Scotty O'Shea. I take this to mean computer keyboards used as weapons, although I will laugh heartily if someone brings one of those old school Casio numbers. Also appearing on the show will be the Super Smash Bros., Colin Delaney, Pinkie Sanchez, Jodi DiMilo, Giant Tiger, and Cheech Hernandez.

Down in Dundalk, MD (suburban Baltimore), Maryland Championship Wrestling will be looking to Bodyslam Autism at the New Green Room with a bell time of 7:30 PM local. Taryn Terrell will be appearing at the show for those interested, but for those who don't care about TNA employees, Veda Scott will be your main draw, as she battles Amber Rodriguez. Also on the show, Oliver Grimsley will wrestle Ruckus, and Lance Anoa'i will also be in action.

New York Wrestling Connection will be running April Reign at the NYWC Sportatorium, doors opening at 6:30 PM local. The Big O defends his title against Jessie Vane, while Mikey Whipwreck and Stockade team up to try and wrest the Tag Team Championships from Bill Carr and Smith James. Also appearing will be Francis Kipland Stevens and Jolly Roger among others.

At 6:30 PM at the Boys and Girls Club of Carbondale, IL, Pro Wrestling Collision will be taping for its weekly TV show. The big match will see Brandon Espinosa and Ace Hawkins defend their Tag Team Championships against the KOA of Sugar Dunkerton and Aaron Epic. Joey O'Riley, the Kentucky Buffet, and Reed Bentley will also be in action.

In Plainfield, IL, the Route 30 Plex will play host to Vanguard Wrestling All-Star Alliance's No Room for Doubt. The doors will open at 6:30 PM. Rickey Shane Page will go up against Gary Jay for the first time ever, while Thomas Sinclair will look to take out his frustrations against a member of The League, be it Reed Bentley or Tripp Cassidy. Also on the show will be Bobby Beverly, Eric Ryan, and Dale Patricks.

Saturday in Georgia is looking pretty loaded as three of the major promotions will be running shows. First up, Deep Southern Championship Wrestling will be Grappling for Grable, helping to benefit the titular leukemia patient with her medical expenses. The show will be taking place at the Fannin County High School Gym in Blue Ridge, GA, with doors opening at 5:30 PM local. Familiar names in action will be Cyrus the Destroyer and the Movement, and Moon Dog Rex will be part of the Parade of Legends. Meanwhile, in Rossville, GA at 22 Austin Avenue, Empire Pro Wrestling will run their latest show with the same old low price of $5 at the door. Be there for a belltime of 8 PM. Finally, in Cornelia, GA at the Anarchy Arena, Anarchy Wrestling will be taping for their television program, featuring the Washington Bullets, Stryknyn, Bobby Moore, and Shaun Tempers.

Finally for Saturday, the Russian Community Center in Vancouver, BC will be hosting Elite Canadian Championship Wrestling's Red Is War, doors opening at 7 PM local. Nicole Matthews and the Bollywood Boyz will be in action, and everyone will head over to Boston Pizza afterwards for the afterparty.

Sunday has a couple of pretty big cards going on as well. At the West End Youth Center in Allentown, PA, Wrestling Is Fun! will open its doors at 3:30 PM local for Always Money in the Banana Stand. As always, kids under 12 get in with a paying adult, so bring your children! It's a family-friendly show! assailANT makes his first defense of the Banana Championship against the dangerous Jaka in the main event. We get our first taste of the entire Baltic Siege in action, as the Estonian Thunder Frog, Latvian Proud Oak, and Lithuanian Snow Troll team up to clash against the Batiri. In a "Kiss My Foot" match, Saturyne will do battle with the regal Princess Kimber Lee, and Amasis will attempt to wrestle without the Batiri and Ophidian attacking him as he will face off against Mr. Touchdown.

Finally, down in Warner-Robins, GA, Rampage Pro Wrestling will continue their fine Sunday tradition of taping their TV show at Johnny G's Fun Center. The show will start at 3 PM local, and it will feature Micah Taylor, fresh off winning the RPW Heavyweight Championship, addressing the Rampage Nation. Also, the Blacklist will be in trios action against American Mayhem and Drew Adler, and Mike Cruz and Bobby Moore will both be in action.

Once again, that might seem like a lot of shows, but it only scratches the surface. If you want to do something this weekend, check out and see if there's any wrestling in your area. Remember, wrestling can only grow if you support it.
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TWGP in Chicago? Gotta Include Da Soul Touchaz

April 26, 2013, 12:40 pm
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You can't throw a party in Chicago and not expect Da Soul Touchaz to show up, well, Acid Jaz and Marshe Rockett in particular. They are the latest team to enter the Tag World Grand Prix, which is filling out nicely, if I must say. Chikara has been experiencing a distinct lack of DST in the last year or so. Hopefully, this is a precursor to them all entering King of Trios? Gotta get me some Willie Richardson in my life.
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Instant Feedback: Nice Work, Mox

April 26, 2013, 7:25 pm
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Smackdown tonight was about one hour and 45 minutes of complete and utter boredom. Well, that's not entirely fair. Jack Swagger vs. Alberto del Rio continued their streak of having a terrible feud punctuated by really good matches, but the time between Swagger pinning his Mexican nemesis and when the gong first played, the show was dull. It was a pastiche of the same old shit that has made Smackdown almost unwatchable in the last year: warmed over matches where nothing was advanced, ad nauseam recaps from RAW, recycled tropes.

But then, the gong hit, the competitors hit the ring, and Dean Ambrose was having his first singles match on the main roster against the goddamn Undertaker. How many people get to say that? How many more people get to say that they looked like they belonged in the ring? Then again, I think we all suspected that he'd fit in fine in a WWE main event against one of the best ever.

And while Taker won, the last image on Smackdown was of Taker in the detritus of a destroyed table, courtesy of The Shield. For fifteen minutes at the end, Smackdown was the best show in the world. Is that enough to make up for the utter ennui that it peddled on us prior? I don't know. But whatever it was, we at least got to see a glimpse of WWE's future mingle with one of the icons of its past.
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You Can't See the Future: Contingency for Cena

April 29, 2013, 5:30 am
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He's hurt (or is he?), but that shouldn't be the end of the world
Photo Credit: WWE.com
John Cena got hurt on WWE's just-ended European tour. He tore his Achilles tendon, per WWE.com. The tweet attached seems to add an air of uncertainty around the news. It could be part of the story, just another obstacle put in front of Cena before defending his newly-won eleventh WWE Championship against the insatiable beast, Ryback. Remember, the vast majority of people in wrestling are carnies at heart, even today, when kayfabe has been reduced to a rumor, and the lines have been blurred between real person and on-screen character so much that it can be pretty confusing.

However, WWE in the last few years has been using its own website as a primary source of legitimate news over the last few years. Maybe his appearance on RAW tomorrow is surrendering the title to Ryback straight up, or to the most controversial titleholder in wrestling history, Vacant, and then confirming himself that he's out for an extended period of time. The last WWE superstar to suffer this type of injury was Edge, who was on the shelf for seven months. Cena is a physical freak and has been known to come back from bad injuries in record time. Still, that puts his ETA around SummerSlam, right?

This puts WWE behind the 8-ball in terms of star power. CM Punk is already on the shelf rehabbing his injuries that have existed since he was still WWE Champion. The Rock has wrestled his last match, and fuck if he'd wrestle during the post-Mania lull period anyway. Brock Lesnar hates the road. Undertaker is sprier than normal, but I doubt he wants to do more than a few appearances here and there. Triple H... well, let's not invoke his name. He might come back fulltime, and God help us all if he does.

But yeah, if Cena is missing time, it exposes how poorly a job WWE has done building up for this rainy a day to come along. That being said, it only might feel like a doomsday scenario to those who underestimate the WWE's average audience. There are opportunities for WWE to build on the fly here. They have the wrestlers, the personnel. They just need the direction.

Obviously, that's not going to come overnight. You put any team's best players out with injury, and yeah, that team's going to flounder. In terms of WWE's other side, there's a reason why Saturday Night Live suffers from a lull every time they have a cast turnover. But that cast will find its footing eventually. I mean, why else has the show been on the air for almost 40 years? WWE is similar. They've been in business for 50+ years, and yet each time they've had a cataclysmic event in terms of turnover, they've been fine in the long run.

Now, unlike Hulk Hogan and his cast leaving for WCW or the extinction level event that ended the Attitude Era, this is a short-term crisis. The key for WWE is to lay a strong foundation for the next couple of months, and then when Cena and Punk come back, they integrate in the new matrix rather than crush it. It doesn't matter what the contingency for these next couple of months is, but it has to be more than a stopgap. It has to matter.

For the longest time in WWE, there has been a very elite group of people for whom the show revolved around. Everyone else didn't matter. The last time where that wasn't the case was said Attitude Era. For as much as I slag on nostalgia canonization of that era, and how bad Vince Russo's scatterbrained booking style was, he did get one thing right in theory. He tried to make everyone matter. His execution on that was too egalitarian, and it made only those who had the talent to shine through matter, but hey, he gave a shit.

Someone in WWE now has to give a shit. Someone in that front office needs to stand up for guys like Sheamus, Mark Henry, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Alberto del Rio, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, Wade Barrett, and The Shield, whether it be all of them or just a few of them for now. Someone needs to look at them and see a future for the company, short or longterm, so that the next time ALL THE MAIN EVENTERS get hurt in one fell swoop, the situation maybe isn't as dire. Or, more accurately, it'll be a lot harder for every main eventer gets hurt all at once because there are more than just two full-time ones working.
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TWGP to Experience Weightlessness

April 29, 2013, 7:10 am
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Brett Gakiya and CJ Esparza, better known as Zero Gravity, will be in this year's Tag World Grand Prix. Like Da Soul Touchaz, they are Chicago-area staples who make absolute sense as competitors here, at least from a proximity standpoint. However, I've only seen them in action once, and it was in a 10-person tag where they didn't really get much time to stand out. That being said, they come with highest regards from AAW fans, so there's that.
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If This Be the End for The Rock...

April 29, 2013, 10:00 am
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Love him or hate him, he's had a hell of a career
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I know that The Rock's most recent run in WWE wasn't loved by everyone. Then again, that seems to be the synopsis of his entire career. He was polarizing, especially in our community of meta-fans, from the day he broke out of his "blue-chipper" shell and became the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment™. I was firmly in his fan camp back then. In the last three years, I grew very tired of his shtick to the point where I really didn't care if he was around. Given how underwhelming his output in the ring has been since his return at Survivor Series '11, I wouldn't cry if he never wrestled again. I also wouldn't really shed a tear if he never came back in an in-character capacity on WWE TV either.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate on a level what The Rock meant to wrestling and to me as a fan. I know that was kind of a shitty lede to go with for a piece like this, but however bad Rocky has become over the years doesn't hide the fact that for the longest time, he was one of my favorite guys in the entire industry. We all know the charisma he brought to the table. It's almost a meme to say that he's the best there ever was on the mic, even if I don't necessarily agree with that statement (Foley was better in the Attitude Era, for example). What I always admired about him was his wrestling ability.

People scoff at me today about my claims that he was the best wrestler in the then-WWF in at least one calendar year if not more. I always enjoyed his matches with Triple H, even though Trips did his best to sandbag the shit out of the proceedings with his "I AM THE CEREBRAL ASSASSIN," slow-things-down-because-that's-how-he-thought-the-NWA-worked routine. His matches with Steve Austin were even better. I even remember enjoying the crap out of any match I've seen of his on repeat viewing in the last few years. It's always good when the footage ends up proving your memories correct. Sweet vindication.

And even though his run in the last three years has personally felt underwhelming, there's one awesome thing about it that I'm not sure anyone can deny. There's no way he had to do what he did. When Rock left WWE initially to be a movie star, no one ever thought he'd be back unless his career tanked. By all metrics, it hasn't. He's gotten big box-office success to the point where he was able to do the whole "do movies that his kids would be allowed to see" thing with The Tooth Fairy among others. He's garnered critical success, both in Get Shorty early in his career and recently with Pain and Gain, a movie about which everyone I know who's seen it is saying is kinda bad except for Rock's performance. There is no reason why he has to come back to the ring at all.

Yet, there he was for three years. Even in a part-time capacity, that's love, man. Rock came back because he loved wrestling. Isn't that what many among us want out of our performers? I personally don't care whether you love your work or not if you're good at it. However, I do get a kick out of seeing guys openly profess their joy at being a pro wrestler, a business that's easy to fall out of love with as a performer it seems. I don't need that love for the business to show for me to appreciate a guy's work at all, but as a performer, you are endeared to me if you love giving me your performance as much as I love receiving it.

For that reason alone, I can't be mad at Rock's comeback, even if I thought it could have been better. I personally don't believe he's done, not by a longshot. Wrestling retirements often have the same veracity behind them that rock farewell tours have. However, if this is the end for him, then man, The Rock had one hell of a career. Maybe it didn't end the way we wanted it to, but hey, sometimes, even the greatest artists don't always produce work that is up to our standards as critics. I don't think anyone has embodied ideal as well as Dwayne Johnson has over his wrestling career.
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Embracing Diversity: Jason Collins Coming Out and What It SHOULD Mean for Wrestling

April 29, 2013, 11:30 am
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He's out, and he should be providing an example to everyone, especially in wrestling
Photo Credit: ESPN.com
Jason Collins, center for the Washington Wizards in the National Basketball Association, revealed that he's gay through an interview with Sports Illustrated. Collins is the first openly gay athlete who is active in one of the major four sports leagues in the US. A handful of athletes have come out in the past after their retirement, most notably John Ameche, and several women have come out over the course of the last three decades, starting with Martina Navritilova. However, the macho stereotyping of the "major" sports world has seemingly kept men like Collins in the closet for fear of what might happen to them in locker rooms, arenas, and press boxes around the country. Brandon covered all bases about how to deal with people backlashing against this decision at With Leather. It's something that should be read by everyone, obviously, because it shows why Collins' decision to come out is truly heroic and important.

Now, what does this mean for wrestling? Well, I don't know if it will mean anything in the short term. Maybe WWE writers will include a reference to it in the script of a show this or next week. Maybe Vince McMahon will make a reference to it months down the line. I don't know. However, here's what it should mean if the owners/promoters of the major wrestling companies had any sort of moral fiber in their bodies, especially Mr. McMahon, Ms. Carter, and the folks down at Sinclair Broadcasting Group. It should be a swift kick in the ass to them. They're already lagging behind the entertainment industry, in that openly gay actors have been accepted for years now, and positive portrayals of homosexuals in their media have become normal, like they should have been all along. Now, the "sport" side of their equation is going to leave them behind, especially if Collins' announcement causes a chain reaction of closeted pro athletes to come out of their closets and free them from hiding from the supposed fear of scrutiny and retribution for their own lifestyle choices.

Mainstream wrestling's history with gay characters has been shameful at best. I mean, we're barely a decade removed from Chuck and Billy. What a fucking debacle that was, even if it was a guilty pleasure for most who watched. Of course, the standard reply to that is "It's just wrestling," as if shameful social behaviors are excused because it's just a show. If the good guys bullying bad guys is unacceptable, what makes anyone think institutional homophobia is acceptable? Again, this isn't bigotry being used as a heel trope. Name one time when there has been a homosexual babyface character who wasn't an embarrassing stereotype? Yeah, thought so.

If WWE and TNA and every other wrestling company that is behind the times in America had any sense, they would use Jason Collins as a wakeup call. They would encourage their gay employees to come out of the closet. It would be a great help to the WWE audience if Pat Patterson, if he is gay (I don't think he's confirmed it, and he's the only man who ever should), to come out publicly and set an example for other WWE employees. IF not Patterson though, then it should be someone within the company. Then once it's acknowledged outside of the stories, then we move into a territory where we can have a guy who's gay in character, but have it not really be the only part of his character.

This might be asking too much from WWE, since they haven't even come around on things like civil rights and feminism either. That's the thing about these mainstream companies. They think that because they have this reputation of catering only to rednecks, yahoos, and Red Staters that they don't have to change. However, the audience is changing, and really, so are the rednecks, yahoos, and Red Staters in some capacity. Wrestling packs 'em in in Brooklyn as much as they do Greenville, SC, and even down South, things are slowly changing. It's not enough to embrace what the old Southern stereotypes embodied anymore. WWE has to grow. It has to change. That goes double for TNA, since Taz, even before he joined Aces and Eights, was the most homophobic piece of shit behind any microphone in any company.

If anything, these attitudes help keep audiences away. Gay fans of the company have to keep their like of it at arm's length at times, and that's an awful way to conduct business. It's not 1950 anymore. More than just white, straight, Christian males like wrestling. Other wrestling companies like Chikara and ACW have made strides in trying to bring in a more diverse crowd, but it can't just come to a screeching halt on the independent level. WWE has to make the effort to embrace the most diverse crowd it can. That doesn't mean making a certain demographic of people heels or to have faces look only one way. That means having a veritable pastiche within the cast on both sides of the coin, y'know, like how it is in real life.

And one of those determining factors in that diversity is sexual orientation. Wrestling companies need not lag behind. Maybe we should expect more from our wrestling companies instead of less, because when the palette is expanded, the potential for the art that is created is much greater. But more importantly than that, no one should expect to watch a distraction, a piece of art, and feel the same kinds of societal oppression that bog them down in real life. Art should give hope and strength as much as it gives laughter and catharsis. Because wrestling is art, maybe the people purveying it ought to get with the times and provide comfort to more than just the safest part of their audience to give comfort to.
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From the Archives: The BDK (c) vs. Incoherence

April 29, 2013, 1:00 pm
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Gorilla Monsoon used to say that when fans packed into the arenas, they'd be "literally hanging from the rafters." I forgave that then because I was a dumb kid. I forgive it in hindsight because Monsoon was so dang affable and avuncular, so how was I going to rag on him for the misuse of a singular word in the English language? While the fans never really hung from rafters, in this match, Frightmare totally did. A lot has changed since this time. Claudio Castagnoli is long gone. Ares is off being a dad in Las Vegas. Their stable is but a memory in the annals of Chikara, the only real remnant of it kept alive in an abusive relationship between Tim Donst and Jakob Hammermeier. Los Campeonatos de Parejas are in the hands of two cah-raaaazy Canucks. The only thing that remains the same is that Hallowicked and Frightmare are still together. But thanks to the magic of YouTube, you can relive those days. Watch part of them here.


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The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, April 29th

April 29, 2013, 4:45 pm
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THEY WOULD'VE WON!
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Jason Collins (Last Week: Not Ranked) - When you can break a barrier in an industry that is largely, famously, and stereotypically macho to the point of homophobic, thus making it easier for your peers to live in their own skin, you are a hero. Tim Brando, Chris Broussard, Ben Shapiro, and anyone else can say what they want, but the truth is, you are a hero

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - Y'know, if Undertaker and Kane would have followed the diagrams, they would have beaten The Shield Monday.

3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 3) - There was an impromptu RAJETT reunion over the weekend, which proves that even injured, Summerlyn can turn some heads.

4. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - When those KFC commercials with the people screaming "I ATE THE BONES!" started popping up, Henry wondered aloud what the big deal was, since he was eating them all along.

5. Terry Funk (Last Week: 4) - It was announced he would be at 2CW's next event for a "confrontation" with Kevin Steen, which is better than a nothing, I suppose. Even TERRY BAH GAWD FUNK can spice up the most mundane sports entertainment enterprises.

6. Pizza (Last Week: 6, kinda)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - What can I say, I'm one of those people who say even bad pizza is good.

7. Veda Scott (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The noted Vegan had bacon bits dumped on her by The Batiri Friday night, and she and Greg Iron STILL retained the AIW Tag Team Championships. That would be like a gallon of lube on a virgin, wouldn't it? No? Maybe? I don't fuckin' know anymore.

8. Ezekiel Ansah (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The 3D glasses with the lenses popped out were an awesome troll-touch to his NFL Draft Day experience, but I think he should have gone all the way and built a hearing aid out of Lego as well.

9. Steph Curry (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He scored 22 points in the third quarter against the Nuggets last night, which is more impressive the 50 he dumped on the Knicks a few months back at the Garden. I gotta wonder, does he just have moments when he goes into the Avatar State and just destroys everything around him? In fact, is Steph Curry the Avatar? I mean, I'm pretty sure he could firebend or ride one of those balls of air if someone dared him to.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: There is no Zuul, only Sara del Rey.
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Instant Feedback: Kayfabe Lives

April 29, 2013, 8:20 pm
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Hey, remember that article I wrote to start the day? Is that proof enough to say kayfabe still works? No? I'm just a rube? Okay. Still, WWE using the dot-com to publicize legit injuries has worked in their favor from a storytelling perspective, and it worked on more than one level. Not only were fans like me fooled as to the severity of Cena's injury, but they were able to use it to further enhance a main event feud. We've been clamoring for Cena to drop intermediary falls in appropriate circumstances in order to build up doubt for him to lose. Show, don't tell. Tonight, they did just that as The Shield continues to prove that they're the best trio active right now in American wrestling (and with Chikara thrown into disarray by Robert Newsome's Year That Isn't Happening, that's not a stretch to say!).

The main event six-man tag was the capstone on a show that was heavy on long, tense wrestling matches and short on the typical bullshit. Even the fluff segments had their intrinsic value. I didn't hate the dance-off, the tug of war between Mark Henry and Tons of Funk was legit riveting until Sheamus came out to ruin it, and of course, Cena granting wishes to those kids. All in all, Cena was probably the most valuable guy on this show, in a storyline sense, in the ring, and continually through his charity work. Nights like tonight are reminders of why the guy is the franchise.

But that's not to underscore the supporting cast either. Everyone chipped in, from opening match to main event, from Cena down to Zack Ryder. The opening match was one of the best Attitude Era schmozzes I've seen, only 15 years transposed, mainly because we don't see them all the time, but also because the principals executed their roles so well. Cody Rhodes countering the RKO into Cross Rhodes should have ended his match, but I'll take the moment. Dolph Ziggler dragged another okay match out of Kofi Kingston, while Antonio Cesaro and Alberto del Rio tore down the building with their match. All in all, it was a great old-school feeling wrestling show. A lot of matches, just enough kitsch, and the main stories were advanced.

And hey, Jerry Lawler bought pizza for the crowd. That has to be a win, right?
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You Might Want to Rethink Your Strategy There, Ricardo

April 30, 2013, 5:40 am
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Photo Credit: WWE.com

Ricardo Rodriguez had a pretty good night last night. He won his match, first and foremost. He also got props from Zubaz on his ring attire. Score! However, I'm pretty sure if he had his choice, he'd want to have that bucket toss at Big E. Langston's head back. I don't know, I think you might have to drop an anvil on Big E's head to faze him...
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The Quiet Rise of Ryback

April 30, 2013, 6:40 am
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Feed him more... character?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
I didn't see this coming at all. For as much a fan I was of the homespun Cornfed Meathead, I never saw Skip Sheffield emerging with any kind of gravitas outside of the ring. If he was going to break through the glass ceiling that all wrestlers seem to have to do in WWE in order to be considered more than just a bit player, he'd have to show he could deliver the serious promo, or he'd just have to keep throwing lariats while shutting up. I never once thought he'd be able to do more than the latter, and I was a huge fan of Sheffield. Fuck, I'm the kind of guy who doesn't think that glass ceiling should be in place anyway, that Kurt Angle was ruined when he stopped being goofy, and that there are several things worse in the world than Santino Marella getting a run with the World Heavyweight or WWE Championship. But reality is a real jerk sometimes, and in WWE, they believe funny don't draw money.

When he re-debuted as Ryback after Mania last year, it looked as if he'd go the silent destroyer route. The only words he'd say with any regularity or volume were "Feed me more." Those words became his catchphrase, and he rode it to the main event in an injured John Cena's stead. Obviously, when you go up against CM Punk, the only person who needs to talk is the man known for turning microphones into pipe bombs. However, against the better judgment of many people at the time, WWE let him talk, which to me, was a proof that maybe "many people's" better judgment is still not good. I thought he was fine in his first couple of promos, and he kept building on them, and building on them, and even after he turned heel three weeks ago, building on them.

Silent terminator Ryback, to many, would seem like the best option as a villain, but let's face it. WWE doesn't really do silent villains all that well. Even the ones that don't talk have mouthpieces. Vince McMahon and most other promoters in the wrestling world come from the James Bond school of nefarious characters. What good is a bad guy if he doesn't give several verbal paragraphs of exposition on why, how, and when his evil schemes would unfold? Not two weeks into his run as a bad guy, Ryback gave that Bond villain speech, and it was amazing.

It's hard to call a guy who has been pushed like Ryback has as "under the radar," and honestly, I think he's done well for himself despite the absolute artificial nature of his push. He's a guy that WWE force-fed its audience, but the audience has seemed to take to him. But even so, how much commentary is given to the things he says, his promo oeuvre? Over the last few months, it's been astonishing how fully-formed a character he's become despite the exterior dominating the conversation around him. He has motivations. He thinks and feels. There is more at play here than the typical big guy character that WWE normally puts out. Either they are doing something different with Ryback or he's doing something different on his own (or there's some combination of the two at play here). Whatever it is, I think it's working.

There's a message here about not judging a book by its cover, but I think that's a bit trite to note every time someone breaks out of a mold they seem to be destined conform to. In this case though, Ryback, just as he broke the "Goldberg comparison" mold, continues to show that when it comes to charisma expressed verbally, maybe it's more universal than to be typecast as "serious" or "comedic." Or maybe WWE is just doing a better job at picking out its hosses, so that the Mason Ryans and Heidenreichs of the world are no longer welcome as long as the Rybacks, Sheamuses, and Big E Langstons continue to prove they have it down. Ryback, especially, has come along and become one of WWE's surest and most reliable story players in such a short time. I don't know what the consensus is about him, but I know I'm impressed. I just hope that he's not just an "impressive" first sacrifice to the altar John Cena's lucky #13 top title reign in WWE. He can be so much more.
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REMINDER: John Cena's a Good Dude

April 30, 2013, 9:05 am
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Photo Credit: WWE.com

It got a bit dusty in my house when John Cena brought out the Make-a-Wish kids last night. Was it coincidence? Maybe. I rag on Cena a lot for his faults in character, but man, the sheer amount of Wishes this guy grants is just amazing. Frankly, one Wish would be enough, but each one he does is equally as caring and compassionate. No matter how much longer these kids have left to go, an experience like this will stick with them for the rest of their lives. That's special.

You can help Cena and other celebrities grant Wishes to these sick children through Make-a-Wish's website. It's one of those charities that are certainly worth donating to.
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