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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 311

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Waltman is Austin's guest this episode
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 311 (March 29, 2016)
Run Time: 1:15:52
Guest: Sean Waltman (10:42)

Summary: Austin gets on the phone with his old pal Sean Waltman in advance of their in-person meeting in Dallas later this week. The wide-ranging conversation covers the three-hour RAW format, personal and current roster injuries, advice for young wrestlers, ring construction, Shane McMahon, the 1993 WWF locker room mentality and memorable ribs, the Triple H/Roman Reigns match, Roadblock, engaging a crowd, the influence of Curt Hennig, Scott Hall and Rick Rude, catching up on Scott Norton, distractions and roll-up finishes. Austin’s match of the week is a 1976 Madison Square Garden cage match between Stan Hansen and WWWF Champion Bruno Sammartino.

Quote of the week:“And then he took one of the — one first-class butt-whooping from me. I’m not used to just saying butt, but I’m just trying to be mindful. … Vince asked me to work with Shane at ’Mania, and I was like, at first, ‘Aw man, I want to wrestle a wrestler at WrestleMania.’ Like, I’m so — such a knucklehead back then and so stubborn, and I want everything to be my way, my idea, everything like that, I didn’t understand: Vince is asking me to have a match with his son at WrestleMania. … And he was great! He was great. We had 20-some minutes, man. And I beat the living tar out of him. I told him, I said, ‘If I don’t, like, you know, everybody’s gonna—’ he goes, ‘Yeah, yeah, just gonna have to do it.’ ”

Why you should listen: Waltman usually has a pretty hard time keeping things family friendly, but when he’s not working blue it’s even easier to appreciate his mind for the business. He and Austin are great together, and the upshot there is that it’s a deeper, two-sided conversation that teases out more from Austin than he might otherwise drop in a monologue, yet it doesn’t come across as Waltman seizing control of the show. I especially liked the story about skydiving with Shane McMahon and Madusa, but my biggest takeaway was feeling like these guys are just as excited for WrestleMania as a devoted fan — if not more.

Why you should skip it: The main knock you could hang on this one is it’s somewhat scattershot. It’s billed as a WrestleMania preview, but there’s actually very little discussion about the card itself. The result is a more conventional Austin-Waltman conversation that just happens to take place in late March. Also, there seemed to be a lot more ad breaks than usual. Get that 15-second skip button ready.

Final thoughts: If you’re one of those mopes still clinging to the concept of X-Pac heat, you might see Waltman’s name in the episode title and run for the hills. If so, your loss. This isn’t the best podcast to get a true feeling for the life and times of a truly interesting figure (for that, look up his earlier appearances on Austin’s show, or perhaps his episodes of the Art Of Wrestling and Ross Report), but he’s a smart, funny dude who genuinely loves and understands pro wrestling as a fan and performer for nearly three decades. He’s got good things to say and this is the perfect venue. If you have any time to give on the final stretch of the Road to WrestleMania, this will be worth it for your listening pleasure.

Dispatches from the Lake: Making History

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Will they steal the show Sunday? Maybe, but they'll at least be given the chance
Photo Credit: WWE.com
WWE likes to throw around the idea that nearly episode of their programming is historic. Viewers tuning in to RAW or the monthly special events can hear Cole crow about it at least once a broadcast. If I may crib from Mr. Paul F. Thompkins, this is technically correct, since all of those events have happened in the past. But, gentle reader, as you know, WWE doesn't mean it that way. They want you to think that every second of their programming is important in the grand scheme somehow. For this to be true, there has to be a grand scheme, but that's a conversation for another day.

I don’t think I'm alone in my hope that the Diva's Revolution, cringeworthy though the execution was, would be an actual historic moment. It would mark the point in time that the WWE started valuing the wrestling ability of their female performers. We had already seen what the women could do on NXT, and hearing that Charlotte, Becky Lynch, and Sasha Banks would be coming up to the main roster bolstered the hope for a paradigm shift. This weekend, there is an opportunity for that shift. It has nothing to do with a revolution. It has to do with three talented women being allowed the time to work magic in the ring.

On Twitter last week, I suggested that on a longer than four hour WrestleMania that the women's title match should get at least fifteen minutes. A few people suggested to me to now get my hopes up I'm not sure what I was expecting when I started pulling together the data on women's matches at WrestleMania. Better, I was definitely expecting better. I know we always joke and mourn (journ, if you will) that women's matches on WWE's main roster are barely minutes long, but I needed some hard data. I did a little research regarding the length of women's matches at WrestleMania.

Would you like to know the average time for a women's match at the Show of Shows? Care to take a guess first? Bell to bell, it's five minutes and two seconds. It was lower, but I decided against counting a women's match that happened on Sunday Night Heat before WrestleMania XV. That one was one minute and twenty three seconds. It dragged the average down by nine seconds to four minutes and 53 seconds. The longest match on the list was a match from WrestleMania XXII for the Women's Championship. That one was eight minutes and 48 seconds. We also got a two-fer that Mania. Not only was there a title match between Mickie James and Trish Stratus, but we were also treated to a barn burner of a Playboy Pillow Fight that pitted Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle. Oye.

While those are HIGH STANDARDS to live up to, I remember that Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, and defending champion Charlotte step up when expectations are high. My heart warms when I remember Triple H talking to Banks, Charlotte, and Alexa Bliss backstage at WrestleMania XXX about how they'd be back to the big show. Two years later, and here they are. Well, not Bliss, but her time will come. I think of an idiot on Twitter last night that suggested I'd have to eat crow because the Divas won't 'steal' the show Sunday. Fuck that guy! Fuck the mindset that WWE fostered for years suggesting that the women's matches are bathroom breaks. FUCK ALL OF IT.

It was ten years ago at WrestleMania XXII that the women's title match went longer than eight minutes. Since then, the women's title, Diva or otherwise, has been defended twice, not including this year. WrestleMania's history includes a Playboy Evening Gown Match, a Playboy Pillow Fight, a Catfight, and whatever the shit a Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjill Match. I know I watched that match, but I couldn't tell you a damn thing about it.

For the love of all that is sacred and holy, WWE, please give the women's title match at WrestleMania the time it needs to breathe. Don't cut their time. Don't go half-assed on this. You want to make history? Actual history? Something people can point back to and cherish? Let Banks, Lynch, and Charlotte tear down Jerry World and leave the Universe wanting more.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast

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Ambrose talks with Sam Roberts this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Sam Roberts Wrestling Podcast
Episode: 75
Run Time: 59:17
Guest: Dean Ambrose

Summary: Sam Roberts kicks off his week of WrestleMania coverage by bringing on Dean Ambrose for a phone interview. Roberts asks him about the pressures of being in a high-profile WrestleMania match, but Ambrose doesn't seem to be phased by any of that. He just plans on going to war with Brock Lesnar, and that's it. After the interview, Roberts gives his State of Wrestling Address, largely focusing on the continuing problems of how the WWE audience perceives Roman Reigns. Roberts lays out a scenario where Reigns could be a credible, reluctant bad guy. He also praises Shane McMahon's recent performance and hopes that his match with The Undertaker won't be a trainwreck.

Quote of the Week: Roberts - "Wrestling is weird right now. When wrestling was most popular, in the Attitude Era, it wasn't about the skin or the blood or the violence or the language. It wasn't about any of that. The Attitude Era was about embracing the attitude of the fans, and listening to the fans. Figuring out what they wanted and delivering on it. Giving them exactly what they wanted. So it's strange that now we live in a time where we watch WWE, and it would appear that they've already decided what the product is, and are almost getting annoyed that the fans disagree."

Why you should listen: The interview with Ambrose is good for some insight about what excites him as a professional wrestler. He says very little about his upcoming match with Brock Lesnar, but when Roberts mentions his recent match with Triple H at Roadblock, Ambrose lights up. He says that he loved being able to work in a smaller arena and put on a more "old school" match, without having to worry as much about production cues and putting on a big spectacle. The State of Wrestling Address from Roberts will make you think a little bit and get your wrestling brain considering some new ideas, and that's something we all need to do instead of staying in an echo chamber.

Why you should skip it: The interview with Ambrose is barely ten minutes long, which is almost an insult. I expected at least a half hour with Ambrose, and it was incredibly disappointing that the interview amounted to little more than some half-hearted hype for WrestleMania. Also, Ambrose over the phone comes across as even more "who cares" than his usual persona already feels.

Final Thoughts: I suppose even ten minutes is a pretty good get considering it's a main event star for WWE the week of WrestleMania, and even a lazy Dean Ambrose is still a cool dude. What really interested me was hearing Roberts talk at length to himself about what WWE is and isn't doing wrong. It got me thinking about how when you talk about pro wrestling, you can make many blanket statements that may or may not be true, but are spoken as if they're indisputable facts. Roberts says that Reigns gets booed in towns all over America, and yet I can go on Twitter and see multiple people say that at a house show he was getting cheered like a conquering hero. See how there can be multiple truths going on at once, and no one is totally right and no one is totally wrong? That stuff is blindingly frustrating, yet it thrills my brain and it keeps me coming back to this stuff over and over again. Sam Roberts might not be totally correct, but at least he's thinking.

Best Coast Bias Previews Takeover: Dallas

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JOYGASM~!
Photo via Wikipedia
It may not have felt like this, but NXT's held out on us for quite some time. A quick perusal of what the kids call "teh Gugle" shows that the last time NXT actually taped something was January 27th. January 27th! What could necessitate Stamford's workrate brand going dark for over two months straight? Considering the shows that have aired in the interval have advanced the plot while admittedly at times being the vegetables we have to shovel down to get the four-scoop sundae for dessert it still doesn't banish the question - what the hell were they doing with all that off time their banged-up main roster sure would love to see as a modification to their own calendars?

It felt like the only answer would be they were building a spaceship. And while they aren't (...well, probably, certain debuts are probably going to get an epic entrance, more about which later), NXT is building something damn huge that'll actually get off of the ground and fly. This is the biggest weekend in WWE's history with WrestleMania 32 probably being the biggest show in company history and making another grand while you read that sentence.

And NXT still might blow them out of the water from a quality perspective not 48 hours beforehand. Ask an certain type of fan what they remember a few months ago from Brooklyn with regards to SummerSlam and you'll probably hear something along the lines of "Jon Stewart WTF?!" or the screw ending to the second iteration of Brock Lesnar/Undertaker. Ask that same fan about that Takeover, and they might bring up seeing Enzo Amore and Big Cass get treated like gods, or the crazy ladder match where Finn Bálor sent Kevin Owens to the main roster for good, or the Four Horsewoman's final ride making tear ducts rupture in the arena as well as at home.

This card's got even more possibilities on the board to make indelible, year-defining moments to where certain corners have bandied about Best pay-per-view/Network special event even before second one has aired. In certain cases, people have forgotten when March Madness was the day they were announcing the brackets while knowing to the second when it was going to be 7 PM Pacific on April Fool's.

Therefore, it's appropriate that the Lone Star Special has turned a bunch of us into gibbering Mojo Rawleys (Corey Graves would probably say that's repetitive, but that's why he's one of the best in the business). All this is a little something to remind us of how we got here and stay hyped.

Let's work our way up.

a) Elias Samson v. Apollo Crews

As of press time we're still unsure if this is going to happen on the show proper or not. Should it, Crews should win by throwing Samson into the overhead rigging so hard he develops a personality besides "non-union Mexican equivalent of Jason Mantzoukas on Brooklyn Nine Nine".

Austin Aries/Baron Corbin
Setup: Aries got signed and made a well-received debut that got as far as the ramp before the Indie Legend Killer, still piqued at GM William Regal over not getting another contendership shot after it took both Samoa Joe and Sami Zayn to get him to tap out, jumped him from behind and eventually laid him out with the End of Days on the floor. The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived dissuaded Regal from a formal punishment in lieu of this match.

Payoff?: I'd be perfectly fine with this being a seven-minute no contest or double countout, especially with Aries being the aggressor. Seriously, if a man said he was going to beat and humiliate me so bad I ended up Virgil's sidekick at DashCon 2016 I'd show up with a katana baptized in battery acid and try and shove it up his urethra. Aries has told us he's been bringing the fight to bigger guys since he got in the industry in the one interview he's got on WWE's TV dime; now's the time to show the few uninitiated what the former ROH and TNA World Champion can do on the biggest possible platform.

Bet On: Some sort of shady win by Corbin yet again to keep him in title contendership status while still having not clearly rid himself of the pesky A-Double. The Lone Wolf might be the best thing WWE's cultivated themselves in NXT from a purely developmental aspect, at least on the men's side of the roster, and there's no shortage of fodder for him to be a millionaire's Alex Riley to as he tries to get himself that elusive title shot. There is an extinction level event debut happening tonight, sadly for TGMTEL, it ain't him. Speaking of which -

Sami Zayn/Shinsuke Nakamura
Setup: WHO

THE FUCK

CARES

IT'S SAMI GODDAMN ZAYN VERSUS SHINSUKE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING NAKAMURA GIVE IT GIVE IT TO ME NOWWWWWWWWWW JUST HOOK IT INTO MY VEINS...

*ahem* ...well, that was...slightly embarrassing.


Anyhow, when Sami failed to gain the number one contendership losing narrowly in a show-long best of 3 falls match against Samoa Joe, the next week Regal concurred that they had to find Sami something to do on NXT's biggest show of all the times and gave him this as a "present". Nakamura makes his WWE/NXT debut here with a resume longer than a DC-20 aircraft. You're psyched. I'm psyched. Everybody but Daesh is psyched. (Ed. Note - Honestly. I bet al-Baghdadi has a Network sub and is willing to forgo a bit of his "Death to the West" rhetoric to enjoy him some NXT, especially with Nakamura aboard now. - TH)

Payoff?: I mark out so hard it causes a new fault line to run through San Diego? I can't see the match through a curtain of tears? My resultant erection launches so quickly the last thing I see is God reaching down and before I can high five Her I die and a demure but beautiful Anna Kendrick shows up at my funeral, throws herself over my grave and wails "Baby, I thought we had more time!"? You tell me.

Bet On: An instant classic and probable MOTYC that goes 20-30 with the King of Strong Style getting a W with a second Boma Ye.

[NXT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS]
American Alpha/the Revival

Setup: The newly named Revival outsed the Vaudevillians as tag champs and have managed to fend off them and then Amore and Cass since last fall; the newly named American Alpha have, I believe, literally beaten every post-Graves set of tag champions culminating in the aforementioned Vaudies in a number one contendership match to earn their first shot here.

Payoff?: It's ridiculous on a card Charlotte McKinney stacked to say something like "this match is the one that could steal the show". And yet. A front-runner for Overlooked MOTY when 2016 ends with...

Bet On: ...and that's why this one is the hardest one to predict. You can really establish and further burnish the awesome work that Dash and Dawson have done as belt holders with a win here no matter if it comes cleanly but with deception or by out and out heeling. But I give a slight - like 52-48 - nod to the amateurs turned pros to get their first tastes of NXT gold in front of a rabid audience that'll be, well, you know.

[NXT WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP]
Asuka/Bayley

Setup: Since becoming Champ in Brooklyn, Bayley has beaten everybody and defended the belt internationally. Beating TWB's Wrestler of the Year in a 30 minute Iron Maiden match, former manic pixie dream girls that remain perpetual disappointments to Mama Bliss, corporate hand puppet Total Divas and their rookie land monster henchwomen, even her best friend. You name 'em, she's beaten 'em. She has beaten everyone with the exception of the six-month tenured gaijin and former Ms. Most Dangerous who has these nasty habits of not losing, smiling creepily, and kicking women so hard that both in and out of character sometimes they end up taking the ferry to KTFO Island.

...I am really, really going to miss Bayley, you guys.

Payoff?: Another instant classic and possible MOTYC. Quelle surprise. Bayley shows her toughness. Bayley shows her heart. Somewhere between the twelve and twenty five minute mark, Asuka shows her one last roundhouse to the face; it's the last thing she sees as a champion.

Bet On: Of all my hilarious predictions, that's the one I feel best about, so expect Bayley to win via flash roll-up and Asuka to go heel and beat her like a rented goalie afterwards for that.

[NXT WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP]
Samoa Joe/Finn Bálor

Setup: Since Day One, Joe has wanted what every male in NXT has wanted, the Big X. He said as much when he arrived; again before teaming with Bálor at the first annual Dusty Classic; again after they won it, even noting out loud on camera that he could've gone about this in less than aboveboard fashion but wanted to do this the right way. But when he lost a subsequent number one contendership battle royale, he lost it and has been busy choking people left, right and center ring since. A very narrow loss to Bálor happened in Takeover London's main event, but he's re-earned his spot first by helping turf former rival Corbin from the scene and then beating Sami Zayn in the aforementioned 2/3 falls bout. Finn's been the babyfaciest champion this side of Bayley, taking on and disposing of all comers while also showing increased aggression in past weeks; this led to a pull-apart brawl that went around the NXT Arena on this week's show and went to a standoff.

Payoff?: It sucks being wishy-washy, but there are outside forces at play here. If they (names: Anderson and Gallows) show up, Bálor wins and starts embracing his own black-hearted past. If they don't, Joe joins a prestigious list of future main roster bedrocks to hold Orlando's most prestigious title.

Bet On: The latter. Joe has been riding in the Wayback Machine, eating his Wheaties, call it what you want. But he literally may never have looked as imposing and awesome as he has in the past few weeks and he deserves to walk out with the belt here, and I suspect he will. Besides, you have to admit--the idea of Nakamura/Joe the night before SummerSlam with the Big X high up in the air beforehand turns you into an Andy Samberg gif. It's okay. It's not just you.

That's it. It's all over but the grappling. In the immortal words of a box office smash, time to make the f'n chimichangas.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat March 30

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Cheap Heat discusses this moment and more
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“Go Home RAW, You’re Drunk” (March 30, 2016)
Run Time: 56:29
Guest: Bryan Diperstein (35:05)

Summary: Peter Rosenberg and David Shoemaker quickly discuss their Dallas travel plans — Stat Guy Greg is on the phone from Texas — before looking at Monday’s Brooklyn RAW, including their lack of interest in the world title match and Shane McMahon’s leap. They divert into considering the recent spike in WWE’s mainstream publicity, then wonder why New York crowds are weird. Diperstein makes a useless phone call, interrupting any semblance of flow. Rosenberg then recounts his personal WrestleMania history and recounts a recent meeting with John Cena. Somehow that leads to talk about suits. Shoemaker brings it back to Shane McMahon then segues into Dean Ambrose and takes a sidetrack into the Stephanie McMahon-Test wedding. They end by discussing more Dallas plans, including a listener meetup.

Quote of the week: Rosenberg: “But I gotta tell you, I don’t know how much to say right now, because I can’t tell based on the conversation I had with John Cena, whether or not he was telling me this information, or expressing himself, because he was working me and he wanted me to turn around and say this information, or whether he has gotten to know me over the years and felt really comfortable just saying these things in front of me. Here’s what I’ll say … If I said exactly what he said, yes, it’s a scoop. I’m not going to say exactly that. You can read into it what you will. Is that fair? So I don’t violate him? … He seemed very disappointed that he’s not being used at WrestleMania 32, that he’s not part of the card.”

Why you should listen: Are you headed to Dallas and want to hang with the Cheap Heat crew? Then most definitely pay attention to the last 15 or so minutes. Otherwise… uh… maybe you need to hear this one to get excited for the episode they’ll release later this week after conduction interviews at WrestleMania’s radio row.

Why you should skip it: This episode continues a disturbing Cheap Heat trend wherein the guys attend a WWE show then have virtually nothing of substance to say about the experience not even two days later. While they do at least indicate excitement for getting to see Friday night’s NXT show, it remains a mystery why they wouldn’t spend more time actually previewing the show, especially since everything else on this episode is likely to be functionally obsolete once they release this week’s second episode.

Final thoughts: My most frequent criticism of Cheap Heat is how a the weekly schedule often yields results like this, where they’re clearly hitting the studio out of obligation as opposed to having something to say. It’s even less excusable this week when we know what’s likely to be a fantastic show is just a few days away. With WWE’s main roster headed for a reboot of sorts following this weekend, Cheap Heat fans should hope the podcast takes a cue from the only show it really seems to follow.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 295

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The King of Fuck Money is on the Art of Wrestling
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 295 (March 31, 2016)
Run Time: 1:07:21
Guest: Virgil (9:46)

Summary: Colt Cabana sits down with fellow hustler Virgil. The conversation begins with Virgil recalling a recent stint on Sam Roberts’ podcast, then transitions into him working against Hulk Hogan at Madison Square Garden. Cabana asks about Virgil’s early 90s singles run, which brings up stories of Meng, Barbarian, Nailz and memories of being in a Memphis tag team with Rocky Johnson. Virgil explains why he tried to live a clean life, revisits his six years paired with Ted DiBiase and then Cabana takes him back to his Pittsburgh childhood and high school days. After talking about the WWF road life, Virgil revisits his University of Virginia days and details how a chance meeting with Afa led to him training with the men who would become Yokozuna and Rikishi. The last major portion goes back to Memphis and how Virgil left there for the WWF, then there’s quick memories of riding high in WCW, their mutual friend Pizza Joe and staying on the hustle.

Quote of the week:“I figured, man, when you’re that big and that agile, you gotta be good, you gotta be good in something, you know what I mean, Colt? I mean, these guys were big. They were 380 pounds or 400 pounds. They had my respect ’cause they’re agile as shit. I mean, I seen Afa and Sika leapfrog, dropkick, I mean like, do like backflips and stuff, you know what I mean? Evidently you gotta be some type of athlete to do what these guys were doing.”

Why you should listen: Virgil comes across a lot better than you might expect — hell, a lot better than you’d think directly after listening to Cabana’s introduction. He’s frank about wrestling (and his days making a living off his wresting name) being a job for him and not a lifelong passion, but it comes off as simple honesty, not crass greed. The stories of his childhood are interesting and he clearly has fondness for his days in the limelight that doesn’t, as it does for so many, bleed into blinding nostalgia.

Why you should skip it: Well, it is just Virgil. Even presenting better than one would hope still isn’t clearing the world’s highest bar. He’s not the best talker on the planet, and it’s not clear he’s fully let down his guard as do so many of Cabana’s guests. Cabana ends up cramming in a great deal of Virgil’s life into an hourlong chat, and as such very little gets its full due. It’s one of the rare cases where I think Steve Austin might get a much better interview out of the guest if only because he’d probably be inclined to dig deep on something obscure like the Memphis days or even play up the obvious, like Andre the Giant stories.

Final thoughts: I definitely recommend giving it a listen, if only to force you into considering Virgil beyond what he’s become via social media treatment over the last few years. It’s not going to drastically alter anyone’s opinion, but it’s a good reminder that wrestling stars are still just people with lives to live and stories to tell. And again, a solid break from the overwhelming crush of WrestleMania chatter is hardly a bad thing.

Best Coast Bias: Crowning Achievements

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Bless.
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Contrary to what Triple H, Randy Orton, Batista, and Ric Flair might've had you believe once upon a time, evolution is not a mystery. You need to keep your eyes open and a decent memory, but there is connective tissue weaving its way into a narrative for those who take the long view. There was a time when pretty much every Hall of Famer was a jobber, a time when WWE hadn't turned their signature show into a week-long Super Bowl with spandex, and yes, children, once upon a time NXT was a little-known indie with slightly better than most production value playing their heart out for a few dozen die hards in a modified Orlando sweatbox.

It's hard to remember, especially after things like Takeover: Dallas come to an end, because you're looking at the finished result, the official confirmation of greatness. Greatness is blinding in that way, that sometimes the struggles, hard work, concerted effort, and sacrifice that it spawned from get blotted out as if an eclipse were happening. And no foolin', on the first day of April in 2016, NXT shone a light so bright not only in emotional catharses but in match quality as well that big brother's biggest WrestleMania might spend its legacy slowly shivering in the shadows that were cast.

We all thought it had the potential to do so, but that two-hour roller coaster seemingly went by in an eyeblink.

And on a night with title changes and blood, one match stood out even in this rarefied air and went right into contendership for Match of the Year. It's something certain cagey veterans might even call an instant classic. We knew we were going to get something, but this? Who's body was possibly ready?

Sami.

Shinsuke.

Oh, that's right. No name change for the King of Strong Style. His theme isn't "Subconscious," but it's damn catchy. It makes you feel like you're going to battle against the final boss and you've Got This.

Two of the best ten wrestlers in the world facing off for the first-time for this widely hyped match. Even if you were somehow clueless before, you got the sense that it was An Event off the entrances alone. An already hyped crowd was overjoyed to see Zayn, per usual. And then Nakamura swaggered out in silhouette and the roof landed in Laredo. The dueling chants went on for a full half minute before you came to realize something as a viewer - Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura, essentially, were getting a standing ovation forexisting.

What a ludicrously high bar to try and surpass.

In doing so, they made it look Sunday morning easy. The fact they did may've been one of the things Corey Graves was referring to during the King's entrance when he hit his signature rope-assisted pre-match pose in the darkened arena under a spotlight bolstered by the jet engine roar disguised as a few thousand wrestling fans and he noted that the word surreal came to mind. Surreal, presumably, is the PG-13 single word used to cover up a fusillade of NC-17 ones. It turns out outside of one minor modification to his finish, we pretty much got the Nakamura we knew and loved in front of a rapturously appreciative audience that also knew and already loved Zayn. When they chanted "Both these guys!", it was warranted and genuine. It was the same when they got the second standing O for existing later on, and at one point in Act III when the competitors were both trying to regain their bearings they launched a "Fight Forever" rallying cry that'll probably go down as the greatest chant in NXT history. It felt like Tom Phillips was reaching into a viewer's brain when he and Graves let the chant ride for 15-20 seconds, flexing so hard they didn't even need to twitch a muscle, before saying with a combination of pride and awe bordering on complete human fulfillment "'Fight forever?' I'm with them. This is incredible."

It was. It truly was, and that was before they even got into the finishing run. This is literally the sort of match that justifies purchasing the Network if for no better reason than you get this match. Even if the Network was solely this match, it would be worth having the Network. There aren't enough hosannas, you should be watching this instead of reading about it, and once done with the rest of this a rewatch is going to be in order here as well.

But it wasn't as if this was some sort of lone flower that managed to bloom out of a pot of dirt. The whole show is worth a rewatch, and if for some reason you can't give yourself over to a match that would've cured cancer upon watching had it lasted five minutes longer, maybe you're just one of those vulture types who missed blood.

You got it in the main event title rematch. It was accidental. Samoa Joe accidentally headbutted Finn Bálor while delivering a kneelift in the early going, though we wouldn't see that and get it confirmed until after the match was over, but to be honest, it delivered the already well-built match into a higher and more easily tangible level of contretemps. When Joe's response to bleeding (quite a bit) of his own blood was to almost not sell it before throwing Bálor into the front row it made for concern for the poor plant (hopefully) that got wiped out, and it lead to possibly the night's best visual. The Samoan Submission Machine, stomping around the floor with his own blood going in a slash across his face and down his chest, looked like he'd just committed a murder and that was merely the overture for more homicides to come.

It could be argued a guy Joe's height pushing three bills delivering an elbow suicida while his chest gets redder than a gerrymandered district in North Carolina might be a form of death. The crowd was increasingly livid over the medical staff and Smilin' Drake Wuertz continually getting in between the men and breaking the flow by trying to stem and then seal off the wound as best they could, but it just added lifts to an already heightened reality. At a certain point about midway through they either did the best they could and backed off the more intrusive breaks or they just realized that it wasn't going to be the sort of thing they could fix on the fly and threw their hands up metaphorically about it.

Either way, Joe wasn't going to stop. Why would you when your offense is possibly the best its ever been and at worst is the best you've had in about a decade? And nearing closer and closer to 300 days as holder of NXT's World Championship, Bálor was sure down to take the worst Joe's dished out and a little more in order to try to retain the gold. Even with the intended narrative flow disrupted, you could easily make the argument that this one was a harder-hitting affair than their really good first fight in London, and what an appropriate ending considering the weekend it was--Joe had the Kokina Clutch locked down, but ended up playing Roddy Piper to Bálor's Bret Hart from over two decades ago as the Champion got a surge of energy in, ran up the ropes, and pinned Joe down long enough to walk out champion. It was a result that saw him stand tall in the middle of the ring and turned a still blood-covered and now completely disbelieving Joe into a deaf mute.

The Big X was actually the only Championship to not change hands in the Lone Star State. Right before the main event, Asuka culminated an almost hilariously successful six-month run by besting Bayley to hold the NXT Women's World Title. She never cheated, or even got close to doing so. If she's not exactly a black hatted villain, though, there's something pretty dastardly about her striking ability, and it was a worst case scenario for Bayley here. Even with going back to former tried and true successful maneuvers that she usually doesn't deploy (her Zack Sabre Jr. impersonation that she beat Sasha Banks in the Iron Maiden with, the guillotine that put Nia Jax to sleep in London last Takeover) she couldn't find the one thing that would keep Ms. Most Dangerous at bay (sorry), and her lone attempt at a Bayley-to-Belly was countered. She wasn't outclassed, and she never gave up; hell, she probably lasted longer in the Asuka Lock than every other victim combined. But after an excruciatingly long time in the submission hold, she went limp. It was only for a couple of beats, but it was long enough to draw the curtain on her almost eight-month long title reign. It's a testament to both their abilities that this had to follow Zayn/Nakamura and never dropped the crowd's ardor one bit, even if the air temporarily left the building when they found out that the belt had changed hands.

It was the exact opposite response the opener got, when American Alpha defeated their latest duo of now former champions in the Revival to get the gold themselves. For a while early on after a Pier 4 was narrowly averted, it looked like Chad Gable was going to win the titles all by his damn self since he's such a gangstar on the mat. You know his steez, Actually, upon reflection this was similar to the other title change in which brilliant champion(s) suddenly found themselves against someone(s) that they just couldn't draw upon the repository of what'd made them so successful for weeks and months on end. Bayley had no answer for the Empress of Today's striking ability; here, the Revival couldn't really gain a foothold with their usual shadiness and didn't have a long expanse of cutting off the ring into the Bad Part of Town where they really thrived. Not even cheating succored for long enough to secure the pinfall, and it was actually a Revivalesque blind tag by Jason Jordan when it seemed like his boy was on the ropes that set up their finisher and first title reigns. And it must be noted that out of all the post-match interviews, theirs is the one most likely to cause a 5000% increase in dust mites.

This show was so hilariously loaded that the worst thing on it was Baron Corbin vs. Austin Aries, and that merely suffered from not being something transcendent and/or historically important--it was still well-worked and smartly done from both sides, ending with Aries outsmarting Corbin to gain a flash pinfall that'll probably keep their contretemps going on a bit down the road. When the worst thing is still good, you know something's great. And quelle surprise, that's what NXT served up here. Yet again.

No wonder Kota Ibushi and Bobby Roode were in the building. No wonder people were going "...oh, and apparently WWE has a show or is doing something on Sunday too LOL". No wonder that in their biggest show on the biggest weekend in company history with the biggest platform, NXT took a 98 mph heater coming over the middle and hit it so high and so far up that the lights exploded like fireworks. The black and yellow imprint is a natural when it comes to their biggest events, and this is merely the next shiniest crowning jewel ever until they unveil whatever comes up next, and that'll probably (somehow) surpass this.

After all, that's what evolution looks like.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat April 1

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Banks was part of the interview cavalcade on Cheap Heat
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“Exile on Mania Street” (April 1, 2016)
Run Time: 2:01:15
Guests: New Day (1:25); AJ Styles (22:02); Samoa Joe (44:44); Sasha Banks (56:45); Bray Wyatt (1:13:40).

Summary: It’s radio row week at WrestleMania, and Peter Rosenberg, David Shoemaker and Stat Guy Greg are hauling in WWE stars for interviews. Interspersed is a bit of talk about the social aspects of WrestleMania week in Dallas, a drop in from Bryan Diperstein and predictions about what will happen at TakeOver and the main event itself.

Quote of the week: Banks: “People are buying tickets to come see the women perform, and I just think that speaks volumes about how far we’ve come. Even going to the stadium and seeing our picture front and center, in the middle, I was just like, this — this is crazy. I’m part of history right now. But that’s always been my dream, to change the definition of what it is to be a Diva, because growing up I didn’t have the role models, I looked at them like, ‘I don’t look nothing like them, I don’t want to be in Playboy, I don’t want to do lingerie matches, I want to be a wrestler.’ So that’s why I looked at Eddie Guerrero and I wanted to be the female version of him.”

Why you should listen: The Banks and Wyatt interviews are the best of the bunch, which is not to say the other segments are booty. Love or hate how Wyatt’s been used on television since hitting the main roster, he remains a deeply thoughtful performer, entrenched in the business willing to share everything from passion for the influence of Dusty Rhodes to a story about how he and Luke Harper nearly ran out of gas in nowhere, Louisiana — nearly all within the context of his character. The Styles and Joe chats trend toward predictability, but given the fact neither would get to discuss TNA in a corporate environment, this may as close as you’ll get to being able to hear some of those thoughts.

Why you should skip it: This particular episode was in need of a producer and editor. The social aspects and WrestleMania predictions are in line with what you’d expect from Cheap Heat, but they deserved their own, ordered segment instead of being tucked in between interviews with the remained tacked on to the end. When Rosenberg spends time explaining how he’s trying to simultaneously interview Bernie Sanders for his radio show, you wonder why anyone in charge left that stuff remain. Cut the crap, slot everything into segments and you’ve got a tighter, more enjoyable show.

Final thoughts: Perhaps I want too much from a free podcast. Obviously there was a desire to push the show as soon as possible to maximize the freshness factor. While I listened on my drive north to Milwaukee for WrestleMania, the interviews are still going to be great listens after the fact. I suggest hitting the time stamps for each interview and catching every word — the rest of the show can be discarded after the good stuff is devoured.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat April 5

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The Cheap Heat crew for the last time as situated discusses Mania
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“Past, Present and Future Endeavors” (April 5, 2016)
Run Time: 1:37:39
Guest: Amber Rose (43:24)

Summary: It’s just David Shoemaker and Peter Rosenberg this week — Stat Guy Greg is still traveling back from Dallas, and of course the subject is WrestleMania weekend. They open by revisiting the wildly successful podcast meetup and talk a bit about RAW before breaking down their NXT Takeover experience. After about 30 minutes they talk about the Showcase of the Immortals itself. That goes well enough until Rosenberg answers a phone call from Amber Rose. It’s brief, though, and they get back to WrestleMania. That, eventually, leads into RAW discussion and whether it undid the narrative progress from Sunday night, as well as what becomes of NXT going forward. And finally, they break the news that we’ve been listening to the last episode of the show as we know it.

Quote of the week: Shoemaker: “To make it really clear, this is my last episode of Cheap Heat. And you guys are the best people ever, but I’m not — I’m not disappearing. As crazy as it is to be making this announcement after that awesome get-together we had at WrestleMania, and after just seeing fans left and right — there were three Cheap Heat marks on my plane flight home, like it was, three that talked to me, I’m sure there were many more that didn’t — but in some ways it’s the perfect way to go out, because we’ve had a great week, we’ve had a great run. But just to be able to see everybody and really feel the appreciation was a really, really cool thing.”

Why you should listen: This is exactly the kind of episode that Cheap Heat should have worked to be — a full look at a busy weekend with a blend of Shoemaker’s first-rate critical eye and Rosenberg’s ability to speak for a large segment of fans while also contextualizing pop culture and crossover appeal. The guys focused on so much beyond the main event, including an almost full review of the NXT show, that it put to rest the notion I floated last week that the hosts being in the live audience often hurts their podcast output. Stories about Enzo Amore engaged in an intense, 45-minute conversation with Steve Austin are as welcome as Shoemaker explaining how Becky Lynch was the glue in a spectacular triple threat match. Bookended with Friday’s radio row show, the guys went out with a bang.

Why you should skip it: The last dozen minutes are a bit of overkill. Shoemaker can’t say what’s next for him — though even Ray Charles could read between the lines — and while it’d be wrong to deny the fact the show had a huge audience, it also is fair to point out it’s not like we’re mourning the end of 60 Minutes or Meet the Press over here. I can’t bag on the episode itself too much, although there are moments where it feels a bit like RAW — much longer than it needs to be yet somehow still failing to give adequate attention to certain aspects that could raise the bar significantly.

Final thoughts: It’s quite rare for me to say a Cheap Heat episode better conveys Shoemaker’s astute insight than one of his written pieces, but that’s absolutely the case here. Whatever the reason, his pre- and post-WrestleMania pieces for ESPN failed to reach his own high standards. As for the future, I’ll definitely follow Shoemaker wherever he lands. It sounds like folks who subscribe to Cheap Heat will continue to get at least Rosenberg and Greg, and I’m sure I’ll keep listening for at least a few weeks to see if it’s worth keeping in the rotation without the primary reason it worked in the first place. Cheap Heat at its best was indeed the height of current events wrestling podcasts, befitting an effort with the Grantland/ESPN imprimatur. That it couldn’t reach that level with any shred of consistency didn’t seem to hurt its broader appeal, but audience size is not to be construed as an indicator of overall quality.

I Remember

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WrestleMania is no longer the best show of the year
Photo Credit: WWE.com
I remember when WrestleMania was treated as special, and the faces sent the crowd home happy. The matches for this WrestleMania were decent, but nothing special (with the exception of the Women's Title Match). And by and large, that crowd didn't leave the venue happy. The heels, or the people the fans didn't want to see win, won EVERY match on the show save the opening ladder match and the main. There is a conspiracy theory that they all lost because Vince McMahon wanted the crowd to pop even louder for Roman Reigns winning in the main. That didn't happen.

I remember when the WWE didn't reflexively live in the past. No one's calling for a return to the "Billionaire Ted" days. But this way of presenting the old superstars from a bygone era as superior to EVERYONE on the roster is frankly disgusting. It has long been past time to build new guys, and new stars. Constantly reminding everyone of how things used to be doesn't do that. Having HBK, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin to come out to beat up your heel team and their babyface opponents in one fell swoop was a perfect example of this. Having the Rock and John Cena show up just to beat the Wyatts up was another. Where are the new stars we're supposed to want to root for? Do they exist?

Also, I remember when I looked forward to RAW. I don't anymore. I look forward to CWF Mid-Atlantic. I look forward to Lucha Underground. I look forward to Chikara. I look forward to Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. I look forward to places that don't insult me for paying attention, and fetishize their old stars at the expense of anyone other than the one person they want me to be cheering.

I'm saying all of this to say one more thing I remember.

I remember when WrestleMania was always the most important show of the year.

It's not anymore.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Pro Wrestling Torch Livecast, 4/5/16

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Styles and conspiracy talk were subjects on the Livecast
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown: We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Pro Wrestling Torch Livecast
Episode: 4/5/16
Run Time: 1:44:00
Guest: Jason Powell

Summary: Wade Keller is taking calls and discussing WrestleMania and RAW fallout with his guest Jason Powell, of ProWrestling.net fame. They talk about the surprising disclaimer by WWE that audiences at home should basically ignore the crowd at RAW, and how this argument is tone deaf and wrong. Roman Reigns and his presentation might be changing, or it might not, because no one can ever tell what's going on with him. Powell notes that the NXT wrestlers who were called up to RAW were essentially all midcarders there, which might show that Triple H is trying to hang on to what he perceives as his top talent. Many of Keller's listeners call in with questions about the results at WrestleMania and the new directions at RAW.

Quote of the Week: Keller - "The good crowd response for a lot of what happened last night might be written off. A lot of what JBL said was sort of code for, 'This crowd cheers people that we know can't draw, and aren't worth pushing because they have a niche audience, and they don't respond to people who look really good next to Willie Geist on the Today Show.'"

Why you should listen: For a guy who podcasts at length almost every day of the week and writes at length, Wade Keller is remarkably adept at sounding excited about pro wrestling, and most importantly, not jaded. He has his fair share of criticism for WWE, but he comes at everything with a sharp, analytical mind for what makes wrestling work, and he usually offers a solution. Jason Powell is a perfectly fine guest here, illuminating Keller's ideas with contributions that don't just repeat what the host says. For those who are concerned with how WWE could be doing a better job, it would appear that Keller is one of the best in the business.

Why you should skip it: I should only have to tell you, "Listeners are allowed to call into the show," and that should be enough reason for you to run screaming. But I'd like to tell you exactly why these listeners are the absolute worst. Here are three samples of listener calls from this episode:

  • A guy started off by saying, "I...hated WrestleMania."
  • A guy asked if Vince McMahon is giving AJ Styles a title shot for the sole purpose of later burying him just so WWE can embarrass and bury TNA and New Japan Pro Wrestling.
  • A guy speculated that in their storyline, Shane McMahon was meant to represent Bernie Sanders, the political outsider, while The Authority was meant to represent Hillary Clinton, the entrenched establishment.

Final Thoughts: Wade Keller is a perfectly affable host who speaks with competence and logic about pro wrestling. But as long as he extends an olive branch to his listeners and lets them speak their minds on his show, the Pro Wrestling Torch Livecast is an utterly miserable experience.

I knew that many wrestling fans are spoiled babies who cry when they don't get what they want. I see it on Twitter and in the reactions of fans at live events. But when whiny wrestling fans are given a chance to verbally speak their mind at length, and I have to hear the confidence and the anger in their dumb voices, it makes it all so much more enraging. I listened to this podcast at the gym, and when the one guy asked if booking AJ strong was a setup to embarrass TNA and NJPW, I almost fell off the treadmill. It's unfathomable to me that anyone could either A. believe that Vince McMahon gives enough of a shit about those companies to embarrass them through booking, or B. care enough about pro wrestling to be upset if that was even the truth of the situation. The only way someone dreams up that conspiracy is if they want to believe it.

Also, that guy who "hated" WrestleMania? I'm positive that he didn't hate it. But he told himself that he hated it, simply because he is wearing Smark Blinders at all times of the day, and is looking for any reason to trash something he claims to love, and also wants to order around a billion-dollar company so that he can tell them how much better he knows than them.

That guy's comment also proves how so many wrestling fans are committed to self-punishment. You hated WrestleMania? That means you don't like anything about what WWE presents. So, stop watching it. Then you won't be mad about it anymore. It's so simple.

Acting as if I know more than Vince McMahon is a trap that I myself have at times fallen into, but the more I hear others take this perspective, the more I realize it's futile. I'm either going to enjoy this ridiculous TV show for what it is and have a good time watching it, or I'm going to get myself stressed out and constantly wringing my hands over every single thing that happens. I don't need anything more in my life to worry about. My wife is giving birth to our first child in a few weeks, and I'm quite confident that the well-being of my baby is going to matter more to me than whether or not Baron Corbin should have debuted by wrestling Dolph Ziggler. Why does that booking decision not matter to me? Because it's not important, and neither are many of the tiny details that go into making RAW what it is. This show is a wild runaway train that has to air three hours every week, and if you're still hung up on how it doesn't always make sense, then I'd like to be the first person to ever tell you in your entire life that the American political system is flawed.You apparently have a lot of learning left to do.

Let Me Explain: Bálor Should Stay Put

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Bálor is NXT's rock, and he should probably remain that for some time
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Finn Bálor, the NXT Champion since July 4th of last year, has found himself in the rare position where his immense talent has prevented his career from progressing. But he’s helping the business move forward as a result by staying put.

Let me explain. But first, an introduction.

My name is Brian Coulter. By the grace of God and a clearly delusional man in charge of TWB, I have been afforded this chance to write on occasion for this site. I am not a professional writer. I’m not in the wrestling business. Since the day in 1997 when my best friend at the time asked if I could see what secret Paul Bearer had regarding The Undertaker (a brother?), I’ve been hooked. This is an incredible form of entertainment, and the respect I have for those who step into the ring is always high, regardless of how bad my Twitter jokes are.

My admiration grew in 2008 when I first discovered independent wrestling via Ring of Honor and Chikara. The first wrestling shirt I ever bought, and will wear to most shows still, features Larry Sweeney because he made me understand the concept of wanting to buy a ticket to boo someone in an age where it was cool to cheer the bad guys. He was unique. And I grew to enjoy unique characters from that experience. Few could match the uniqueness of an Irish wrestler in Japan who would transform into a Demon when the spotlight shined brightest.

Prince Devitt arrived at NXT in a time that will be looked at down the road as the point where the direction of the entire WWE changed, for better or worse. After slowly building up their developmental program for several years, NXT stepped out with several successful specials on the WWE Network in 2014. Momentum grew, and a possibility to expand the roster with ready-made talents from all over the world became realized during the year. Kevin Steen and KENTA joined Devitt in a short period of time, leading to a situation described by Steen in an interview with Jericho where all 3 men had to sit and watch practice for weeks before they could begin training. An image we can only imagine.

As Devitt, now Bálor, began his NXT career the popularity of the brand surged. They began running shows outside of their home in Full Sail to surprising results, such as nearly 5,000 in California during WM 31 weekend. There was a legitimate buzz, but one without a babyface champion to carry them forward. The joy of Sami Zayn is in watching him chase down a title or a big win. Kevin Owens is his perfect foil as a talent who isn’t there for you, he’s there for himself and his family. And as such, they weren’t destined to be with the brand long after they first interacted. The decision to make him Champion was a mix of Bálor being the right kind of talent NXT needs to take the next step, and being someone the fans could rely on to stay as that step was being taken.

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn symbolized that next step. Finn Bálor was winning the main event match in front of 13,000+ fans that were there just to see talent not used on television. A remarkable accomplishment that officially recognized NXT as a brand that carried enough weight to tour more than once every few months. And as Champion, Bálor was leading the charge into a new era of this “developmental” company.

Therein lies the rub with him as it stands currently. With NXT continuing to grow and attract all talent, Bálor remains the constant of the last 18 months. He hasn’t missed time due to injury. He’s consistently putting on great matches, and is drawing crowds to see him as a result. Let’s not get it twisted; NXT isn’t a profitable venture in any stretch for the company. But it’s harder to convince the man signing the checks to keep paying for something the fans aren’t going to be into. And the people are into Finn Bálor. His title reign is closing in on one year and his character still has stories to be told that can captivate audiences. Who will beat him for the title? How long can he keep it? Will he get help to keep it?

RAW and Smackdown have plenty of returns and debuts to keep things moving another year, despite whatever issues you or I have with the direction they go in. Calling up Finn Bálor this year is exactly the type of thing the fan in me wants to see. And that’s why it can wait.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 296

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Young is the guest on this week's AOW
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 296 (April 7, 2016)
Run Time: 1:03:13
Guest: Silas Young (11:13)

Summary: Colt Cabana was in Canada when he sat down with fellow Midwesterner Silas Young. After a quick chat about marijuana and various tours, including the infamous Darkchild, Young explains his false start with WWE. The guys, who are the same age, wax about aging in the business, and Young explains how he tried to discern good trainers and seize the right career opportunities. The conversation turns to Young’s father, the subject of his most successful character. Winding down, the guys talk about how the market for their work is evolving, the ups and downs of counseling younger wrestlers and the challenges and rewards of parenting.

Quote of the week:“I just felt like, you know what, if you’re gonna do this, like, just do it, you know? Go out, get booked anywhere you can, make the drives — and I also thought, like, ‘What are you gonna do? You gonna sit home on the weekend and go out to the same bar everybody goes to every weekend?’ You know what I mean? And I love my family, but like at the same, like, I’m the type of person that — like I feel that we all have an ability or a gift or a desire to do something with your life, and I felt like that’s my desire to do this, so if you really want to do it, don’t sit here and complain about ‘Oh, it’s too long of a drive’ or this or that, because then you’re gonna be like 45 some day and go, ‘Damn, you know what, I wish I woulda tooken these opportunities that I got.’ So now I’m real big on like, if I get an opportunity, I’m gonna take it and seize the moment. And sometimes being married it’s, gets you in a little hot water at home. But, you know, I need to do it. I need to do it for myself.”

Why you should listen: Because Northern Wisconsin accents are your jam. All right, the content is better than its vessel, but listening to Young speak words is a pretty pleasant experience. I appreciate his tale of being a guy who had a few runs at maybe getting a shine and then ran the risk of sinking to obscurity before taking stock of himself, doubling down before it got too late and now is realizing a degree of success. In their mid-30s and 14-year veterans, he and Cabana are clearly middle age by wrestler standards, but neither comes across as bitter in any way — just well traveled and wise in a way that benefits people who appreciate the dedication to craft outside what plays out on the biggest stage.

Why you should skip it: There are some lingering audio issues that intermittently affect Young’s microphone, which will be obnoxious to some (but not impossible to overcome for those with functioning headphones). Also, this is one of those episodes where Cabana lives up to his “I am not an interviewer” disclaimer, and as such the best parts are little nuggets here and there that have to be mined out for maximum enjoyment.

Final thoughts: After listening to this episode, I want to have a beer with Silas Young. I guess I’d also like to get to know more about his in-ring career, but mostly he just seems like a good hang and I can use more of that in my life. And this was a fantastic palate cleanser after all the WrestleMania analysis of late. It won’t stand up among the greatest episodes, but they don’t have to do that to be worth a bit of your time.

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 5: LaToya Ferguson

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We discuss this epic fall and more on the podcast this week
Photo Credti: WWE.com
Episode 5: WrestloManiac

LaToya Ferguson of the AV Club stops by for a look at WrestleMania weekend. After grousing a bit about the Vaudevillains' promotion to the RAW/Smackdown roster, we dive into Mania weekend from a WWE-centric standpoint. We debate whether or not this year's edition felt like the biggest weekend of the year before getting to the NXT show with main focus on Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn. Afterwards, we ruminate on how weird and disappointing the main show was while discussing 50/50 booking and big entrances. We have a chat about Shane McMahon vs. the Undertaker before finishing up on Roman Reigns' slight character shift on RAW the next night.

If you're listening to this episode, that means you've wandered over to the Dropbox page, but if you don't want to have to make that effort, then I implore you to give to my Patreon page so I can pay for hosting. Every little bit counts, but remember, if you do it up right and give $25 or more, you can appear on the show as long as you meet certain eligibility requirements (basically, it's all about who you are, and if you're not going to get on the podcast, well, you probably know who you are).

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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Eps. 312/313

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Big Show is the first episode on this back-to-back review
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show — Unleashed!
Episode: 312 (March 31, 2016)
Run Time: 1:18:47
Guest: Big Show (12:48)

Summary: Austin is in Dallas for WrestleMania week, and he scores an early sit down with The Big Show — this time without the fetters of the WWE Network. After looking back on their last interview, talking about Rusev’s iPhone prowess and a quick hit on the current political scene, talk turns to WrestleMania. Show talks about the current rash of injuries and heaps praise on John Cena. Then the guys commiserate about the current length and format of RAW. Austin asks about wrestlers who use a tour bus and how Show fills his down time. Show gives his version of the fundamentals of heel vs. babyface psychology, then Austin brings up the excitement surrounding NXT movement before they talk about the way working with referees has changed. After a break, they bond over guns, then revisit WrestleMania and Vince McMahon’s influence before riding off into the sunset.

Quote of the week:“We’ve got that extra hour of TV on RAW. I don’t think that helps us sometimes, ’cause there’s too much talking, there’s too much bullshit and we’re — the matches that should have more time don’t get enough time. You know, it’s like, it’s like a lot of matches that I’ve had lately has been six minutes. OK, well I got a minute worth of entrance, the other guy’s got a minute worth of entrance, you got four minutes. You can’t tell a story in four minutes. You can’t. It’s damn impossible, you know? And the matches that people think are so great are the matches that usually have two segments, three segments, because we give you time to get emotionally invested. I think that’s one thing we make a mistake of because we’re too concerned about people channel flipping because there’s so much going on, so they keep RAW so fast paced, I think we hurt our product a little bit sometimes by not giving people matches they can get emotionally invested in.”

Why you should listen: These guys come across as great old friends, but since Big Show is still active, they have fresh topics instead of Austin revisiting the same familiar stories like he does in interviews with Diamond Dallas Page or Kevin Nash. It’s nice to have this one to contrast with the recent heavily produced Network special, and also to have Show considerably more relaxed than after he’d just finished the main event segment of RAW. This review is too late for the next point to be relevant, but it was a great listen right before WrestleMania and added a degree of excitement for getting to see Austin and Rusev interact in the middle of the ring.

Why you should skip it: Lightly entertaining as it ay be, this episode is by no means essential. Show is a little freer than you might expect of an active WWE wrestler (wait, does he still have that ironclad contract?) but it’s not like he’s out here shooting on the McMahons or anything. Alternately put: If you don’t want to hear a WWE-made millionaire say nice things about John Cena and Vince McMahon, this isn’t the show for you.

Final thoughts: Simply put, Austin is at his best when he’s chatting up a fellow wrestler he respects as an equal. You learn a little about the backstage life, you get to see Austin’s fan side peek through and there’s a laugh or two along the way. With WrestleMania in the rear view mirror, it won’t be long when we’ll be clamoring for something close to this level, even if it’s nowhere near the strongest of his March/April shows thus far. Sometimes it’s just nice to be reminded why you fell in love with a show in the first place.

• • •

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 313 (April 5, 2016)
Run Time: 1:23:08
Guest: Mick Foley (15:47); Noelle Foley (45:15)

Summary: It’s the audio-only version of Austin’s live WWE Network podcast with Mick Foley from WrestleMania week. They open by revisiting their Dallas connection, Foley explains how he’s getting in shape and his history being frugal and then Austin asks about Foley becoming Cactus Jack and learning to work hardcore matches. After a break, Foley’s daughter comes out to discuss the background of the new Holy Foley show. After she leaves, Foley revisits his WWF hiring, talks about portraying the different Faces of Foley and stresses the importance of working with the Undertaker, notably their infamous Hell in a Cell match. Turning to the present, Foley explains why he was so moved by his recent backstage scene with Dean Ambrose, his relationships with Stan Hansen and the Fabulous Freebirds and feelings about WrestleMania.

Quote of the week:“When I got home, you know, I walked in, we had a little apartment in Long Island, and my wife, first thing she did, she went, ‘Oh, my god! Was it a smoking flight?’ And I said, ‘No,’ — and I had my dad with me, I didn’t want my dad to worry about me too much, and all she kept saying was, ‘The smell is just awful. What was it?’ And then the moment my dad left, she goes, ‘Mick, seriously, what smells?’ And I rolled up my sleeve, and I went ‘It’s me, it’s me!’ ”

Why you should listen: As always with the Network shows, the “should” applies to people who haven’t already watched the actual show. The opening monologue is amusing if you want to hear which wrestlers drank Broken Skull IPA backstage at WrestleMania. As for the show proper, the only thing I’d consider essential is Foley recounting his recent work with Dean Ambrose.

Why you should skip it: Mick Foley. I absolutely love the guy, but there’s probably no single wrestling personality in 2016 who has less secrets. I’m grateful for his openness, but most folks who pay halfway decent attention will have heard 90 percent of the stories told on this episode on a handful of occasions. That’s why the Ambrose part stands out — it’s so fresh it hasn’t been overanalyzed — and although the Noelle bit also is new, it’s also dreadfully uninteresting. Their show might be OK, but nothing said in her brief time with Austin sets her or the show apart from any other reality joint.

Final thoughts: If you have the means and the time, just go watch the interview on the Network to experience the live crowd and the visual components that enhance the audio. It’s a quick enough listen via podcast at 2x, and inarguably entertaining, therefore probably worth a little bit of your time. Just don’t go into it expecting to be blown away by Foley and Austin going deep into uncharted waters. For these two, Foley especially, that’s simply not possible any more.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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The Vaudevillains are the best new friends on this week's Smackdown
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Best New Friends – The Vaudevillains
Well, new to Smackdown, anyway. I actually watched RAW this week, and seeing all the NXT debuts made me a wee bit envious, but Smackdown got the Vaudevillains' main roster debut, and that made up for a whole lot. I fucking love the Vaudevillains. Even better, they got to go up against the Lucha Dragons, another team I hugely enjoy, and it made for awesomeness all around. I know people go back and forth on the wins and losses in these debuts – how do you make your new guys look good? Do you make your veterans take a loss? – but honestly I think either option is fine. Here, the Vaudevillains won, but it's not like the Dragons went down easily. Both teams looked great, and I'm so excited to see the Vaudevillains on the main roster. The tag division desperately needed some new energy to shake things up. One of my favourite parts of the match was Byron Saxton telling Jerry Lawler to “just enjoy it” and stop squawking...and Lawler did indeed manage to not say anything awful for the rest of the match. It means a lot that commentary is clearly being told to build these guys up and not tear them down. That's probably a hard pill for the Ascension to swallow, but what can you do?

Should Not Be Friends – Charlotte and Ric Flair
I know I've written about this before, but I'm going to mention it again because I'm so sick of Ric Flair. I was hoping that her WrestleMania win would have given Charlotte so much confidence that she'd ditch her dad, but apparently not.

Also, I guess we're just going straight into this thing with Natalya and not at all addressing the fact that Ric Flair prevented Sasha Banks from getting back in the ring at WrestleMania. Like, we're just suddenly done with Banks and Becky Lynch in the title picture? Okay, then. I'm not opposed to Natalya getting in there, but it was rather an abrupt story change. Lynch's confrontation with Emma also got me excited for a feud between the two of them, and Summer Rae looked great in her match against Natalya, so here's hoping she gets to stay in the spotlight, too.

Best Married Friends – The Miz and Maryse
I was happy for Zack Ryder at WrestleMania, but I really don't have any strong feelings for him either way, so you'd best believe I was cackling like mad watching the antics of the Miz and Maryse, consorts in con-artistry. I loved Maryse back in the day – she was a bright spot in the often dismal Divas' division during the late 2000s/early 2010s – and the Miz is always best when he has someone to play off of, so why not his wife? It may not be much of a consolation to Ryder, but if he had to fail to win the Intercontinental Title back, at least he looked like a hero. The match was great, and it was obvious that Ryder only lost due to flimflammery. Like I said, actually having the title would probably be preferable, but at least he put up a heck of a fight.

Worst Friend – Curtis Axel
Curtis Axel clearly lost the bout of Rock, Paper, Scissors that the Social Outcasts used to determine who would face Apollo Crews, but he put himself in the match anyway. Bad form, sir! He was promptly dispatched by Crews, which served him right for being such a cheat. Bo Dallas should not be exposed to such dishonesty!

Could Probably Use a Friend – Dean Ambrose... and Tyler Breeze
Dean Ambrose is apparently totally fine after his (enormously disappointing, even for me, someone who didn't expect much out of it because I hate Brock Lesnar) bout against Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania...except that he lost. Now he's back on Smackdown and levelling Tyler Breeze in quick order, but it has to sting that he's essentially reached a glass ceiling. He's done all he can in the mid-card, he can't beat Brock Lesnar, and his best friend the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion apparently isn't the least bit interested in his welfare.

That being said, those frustrations are no excuse for being so harsh with poor Tyler Breeze. You know that feeling you get when you're happy a guy you like is on TV where people can see him...but also he's clearly only there to eat a quick loss? That flash of glee followed by crushing despair? Yeah. Can Tyler Breeze join the New Day or something? He shows up on Up Up Down Down enough.

Best Temporary Friends – Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho
Neither Owens nor Jericho would be super great candidates for someone looking for a tag partner at the moment, but for this episode of Smackdown they were exactly the surly Canadian dream team that I needed. AJ Styles and Cesaro teaming up was also delightful, but Jericho and Owens together would probably be the tauntingest team in tag history. I greatly enjoyed Jericho exiting the ring at one point to throw a tantrum and Owens struggling to get him back in. How does it feel to have an unpredictable tag partner who might bail on you, KO?

What can I say about this main event? RAW got all four men in singles action, but I think this was just as good. Cesaro continued to look great in his return to action, Styles continued to prove himself a valid number one contender to the WWE title, Owens' and Sami Zayn's mutually held grudge, ignited when Zayn made his way to the ring to confront Owens, continued to be hot fire, and Jericho was still there as a crafty veteran, making us all wonder if he's really done messing with Styles. It was great.

I just really, really like this whole situation. I like Styles as the clearly deserving and valid number one contender, but with a crowd of guys behind him who have an equally valid claim. I like Reigns coolly facing down his next opponent because, hey, after Triple H, what could anyone else possibly throw at him? Above all, I like the total absence (so far) of the Authority. If we can keep up this competitive and exciting title scene based solely on everyone being super good wrestling and do away with the convoluted and often nonsensical Authority storylines, I'll be so happy.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 314

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BADABOOM, realest podcast guests in the room. HOW YOU DOIN'?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show — Unleashed!
Episode: 314 (April 7, 2016)
Run Time: 1:30:20
Guest: Enzo Amore and Big Cass (12:17)

Summary: From his hotel room in Dallas, Austin sits down with NXT superstars Enzo Amore and Big Cass. Bouncing between the two, Austin get’s Amore’s background in college football and moving pianos, flips to Cass going from studying medicine to wrestling training with Johnny Rodz, then back to Amore’s strength training and childhood Shawn Michaels. They briefly recount how they met, then Cass recalls his own childhood fandom, which leads to all three praising Bret Hart. After a break, they all go deep on tag team psychology, then Amore explains how connected with Triple H and his first days in FCW. Cass talks about battling nerves and developing confidence, then they end praising the NXT movement and explaining their general schedule. After closing the interview, Austin remembers Merle Haggard.

Quote of the week: Amore: “The boys wanna make sure that they do (Matt Bloom) proud, you know what I mean? Like we all go out there try to put on for Hunter, too, who’s our boss, who gave us this opportunity. ’Cause we started at FCW — 10 fans, 20 fans — now you just saw last night 10,000 people, roof gettin’ blown off the place, and me and Big Cass have had an opportunity to be a part of that from the get-go, really, and to watch the growth of this NXT product, to see a guy like Matt Bloom come in, take control of the Performance Center and to see this product that’s evolving on TV, and Hunter, and all the things that he, you know, said that he wanted to do that we all heard. And you never wanna say, your boss is blowin’, you know, gas, but then to see it happen, it’s just, it’s been unreal.”

Why you should listen: Of course Amore and Cass are great. That practically goes without saying. But the best part of this episode is hearing the joy in Austin’s voice as he connects with the up-and-comers. Austin listens to Cass explain how he became an Austin fan at Survivor Series 1996 and turns it into a Bret Hart lovefest. He tells Sportartorium stories about his own youth and flatters Amore by comparing him to wrestling legends. None of it is gratuitous or saccharine, and I sincerely hope this rub well-deserved rub translates beyond the podcast audience.

Why you should skip it: Well, you shouldn’t. But it could have been better, if only because it’s incredibly difficult to use one interview to get divergent life stories from two different people. Most listeners will end up wishing Austin had been able to dig much deeper into each guy’s past — more so Cass, as Amore seemed to clam up about some of his more salacious circumstances — or else spent the bulk of the show tracing the team’s past from when Amore arrived at FCW. (Also, maybe don’t ask Cass his shoot height? K, thanks.)

Final thoughts: Perhaps someone else might have been able to give a more balanced look at this episode, because I am so remarkably in the tank for Amore and Big Cass I had a huge smile on my face from the moment I saw the episode title to the very end of the interview. Even if you’re not as much in love with the Realest Guys In the Room, there’s some pretty good stuff on life in developmental, and catching Austin in the midst of his WrestleMania high is just pure fun. Enjoy this one, folks, because we might be headed into a bit of a guest lull.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 315

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Part two of Austin's interview with the Bridge and Tunnel Boys is up this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 315 (April 12, 2016)
Run Time: 1:18:24
Guest: Enzo Amore and Big Cass (9:38)

Summary: Austin is backstage at RAW in the Staples Center, so he chats up Amore and Big Cass about travel into Los Angeles, their drinking and eating habits, driving from town to town, Amore’s DJ experience, Kevin Owens and Twitter, WWE dress code, the New Age Outlaws, how their characters are presented, favorite and not so favorite airports and arenas and the glory of little-seen Neville-Sami Zayn matches. When the topic turns to Amore’s broken leg, the guys get to bring up Cass’ singing battle with Aiden English and Amore’s promo book. The chat ends with the guys selling Austin on American Alpha and reliving highlights of WrestleMania 32.

Quote of the week: Cass: “It was kind of a blessing in disguise when he got hurt, because I think people the feeling on me was, he may just a little bit of Enzo’s sidekick, let’s see what he can do without him, so it gave me an opportunity to spread my wings and show them what I could do, you know, in his absence in terms of in-ring work and promo work, and I think I did pretty well for myself. The one segment that I did, probably my favorite moment that I’ve ever had in NXT, besides our matches with Dash and Dawson, was I had a singing contest with Aiden English on NXT television … A, it’s your opportunity to shine, and B, it’s your opportunity to keep this thing going for when he comes back, so I kind of embraced it and I was actually looking forward to it, after he got injured, kind of being on my own for a little bit ’cause I was confident, but deep down, it was also a test for me, to myself, to prove to myself, ‘OK, you know, you are good on your own, you can do this without Enzo.’ And that’s what I kind of feel like the company was also looking for.”

Why you should listen: Did you love Episode 314? Well come on back for 315. Austin was hard up for a podcast topic, RAW was just up the road from 316 Gimmick St. and the fans love The Realest Guys in the Room. The guys are even more at ease with Austin this time around — the undisputed highlight is an a cappella rendition of “My Girl” with Cass on lead and Amore and Austin doing backup — and (as if he read my in) the interview is much more about the guys as a team, which really reduces the segments where one half of the team sits back to listen as the other tells his own story.

Why you should skip it: The biggest knock I have here is that Austin ends by telling his guests the backstage Broken Skull IPA story he used in the opening monologue of the previous episode, darn near verbatim. And maybe you don’t want to know the NXT roster was used to play skeleton champions for Triple H’s main event entrance in Dallas. Or perhaps you’ll be bummed to only have descriptions of Neville-Zayn classics and not actual video. Other than that, man, these guys are great together and I have no idea why you’d even want a reason to take a pass. I guess there’s a few s-bombs, so heads up if you only scope the family friendly Tuesday shows — earmuffs.

Final thoughts: I really, truly hope Austin takes a full look at American Alpha and give those guys the same podcast treatment. I feel he’s helping to make these NXT stars in a way that Jim Ross praising Shinsuke Nakaumra won’t ever approach. We get to know them better as people and performers and, like all good behind-the-scenes footage, it helps fans pull even harder for their success. If you’ve bailed on Austin’s show for any reason, I highly suggest giving this one and its immediate predecessor a fair shot.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Sharpshooter Show, April 5

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More from Hart's (center) show
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: The Sharpshooter Show
Episode: April 5, 2016
Run Time: 1:20:29
Guest: none

Summary: Bret Hart and his co-host Nick Hausman have so much to talk about today that they don't even bring on a guest. Joined by his two sons, Blade and Dallas, Bret breaks down what he saw at WrestleMania 32. He was disappointed by almost all of it, especially finding fault in the Intercontinental Championship ladder match and Hell in a Cell match. Bret bemoans the "phoniness" of WWE's product these days. However, he was quite impressed by NXT Takeover: Dallas because NXT allows their talent to actually go out and wrestle and make it look realistic. Blade and Dallas share a younger, less negative perspective on the happenings.

Quote of the Week: Bret, on WrestleMania 32 - "I would say real wrestling is almost virtually dead. The Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Bret Hart kind of real wrestling, that one match that brings realism and credibility, where you watch it and there are no props, or air guns, or fire, sledgehammers - it's just two guys telling a story with their body? I didn't see any of that anywhere on the card. It was absent, it was left off."

Why you should listen: As dry as he can be, Bret Hart is a bizarrely funny person. Not funny in the traditional sense where he tells good jokes and makes humorous observations, but more in the way that he has very little filter over the fact that he thinks much of what happens on our planet is bullshit. This lack of a filter means that his take on WrestleMania 32 is free of any sugarcoating. He hated a large majority of it, and he explains his hatred in ways that actually make sense. Fans of NXT will be pleased to hear how much Bret loved Takeover: Dallas, as any NXT devotee will probably agree that Takeover was way more fun than Mania.

I'd also like to put in a good word for the advertising jingle that promotes Blade Hart's Sharpshooter Funding. This thing sounds like it was recorded for radio in 1986, and I can't tell if they know how funny it sounds, but either way, it is a treat and a half. It's almost worth listening to the whole show just for that (they play it twice, completely unnecessarily).

Why you should skip it: Perhaps you got your personal overload of complaining from internet wrestling fans over the last two weeks, and you don't want to hear the negative stuff anymore. If so, this show certainly isn't for you. Bret Hart has a dismal view of WWE's product and he sees no way it's going to get better. Even when his sons try to point out some positives, he mostly just shoots them down. It might make one sad to hear Bret sound so sad about wrestling.

Final Thoughts: I returned to this show after only a month partially because I love Bret Hart so much, but also because I wanted to see if the Sharpshooter Show had evolved into something more than I expected it to be. It is still a very young show and might still need time to grow, because its main flaws are still there: Bret sounds tired and ragged, Nick Hausman is a good-natured but irritating co-host, and the general tone of the show is, "Boy, wrestling sure was better back in 1994 (surely not having anything to do with the fact that I, Bret Hart, was the champion." Also, they are still promoting that godforsaken seafood restaurant in Baltimore, and NO ONE is going to eat there because of this podcast, you guys. Stop it.

But I can't dismiss the Sharpshooter Show as the irrelevant ramblings of a disgruntled former employee. Whereas others are ill-informed and venomous in their critiques, Bret is a legend who really does know what makes for good pro wrestling. He's right that Shane McMahon is not a believable wrestler, and he's right that Charlotte is an underdeveloped talent who shouldn't be the champion. When he tells you why WWE ladder matches have become ridiculous and phony, his reasons for saying this are largely irrefutable. But when he says this stuff, he also shows how painfully serious he is about pro wrestling as a whole, and I just don't know if that attitude has a place in WWE in 2016. I suppose it could, but if it doesn't right now, will it help us in any way if we let it make us depressed?

Let Me Explain: Why You Hate Roman Reigns

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Why do you hate Roman Reigns?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The WWE Champion has been booed out of most television and pay-per-view arenas in the last 18 months, and the subject of far too many discussions online and off about why and how this is happening. What’s been missing is a frank explanation for it all.

Let me explain why you hate Roman Reigns.

You hate his look. How can you? He doesn’t look anything like you. Roman is 6’3", weighing 265 pounds of Samoan strength that has been a part of wrestling for more than a few decades. He’s cooler than cool with his long black hair and smooth voice that drives the women crazy at the shows. He’s not Kevin Owens, a burly family man who will break whatever walls the industry puts in front of him. He’s not Daniel Bryan, a man who was “held down” by Vince McMahon because he was too small and a vegan. You saw those guys. You know how talented they are. You didn’t see Reigns start up.

You hate his character development. For the longest time as a member of The Shield, Reigns didn’t say much. His cold stare made his statement and whatever words he did speak tended to be direct and powerful. When he broke out on his own, you hated that he didn’t learn much from a terrific promo in Dean Ambrose. He became a generic version of John Cena. And you know how corny his promos have been. Why was he using lines from cartoons when he should be serious? You can’t take him seriously.

You hate his wrestling ability. Look at his best matches. Either he was a part of The Shield or he was being carried by far superior talents like Daniel Bryan or Brock Lesnar. There are so many better wrestlers that should be in his spot besides the ones named. It’s unfair that you are once again being forced to cheer and root for a guy that you can’t relate to, that doesn’t connect to you, that can’t wrestle better than the guys you like and that you want to see succeed.

You hate being told what to do in wrestling. You get told what to do in everyday life, the last thing you want is to obey what some rich people think is right. That’s the reason you don’t like what that idiot owner did to your favorite sports team. It’s why you don’t understand why those stupid politicians just did what they did. Why should you follow what McMahon wants you to do? “My voice has changed the business!”, you’ll say. And it has. Ain’t no doubt about it. So isn’t that the real reason?

Perhaps you don’t hate his look. You like his character. Heck, you think he’s a great talent in the ring. But he’s another guy getting a rocket push instead of your guy. And you hate seeing anyone get pushed past your guy.

You might just be a fan of Roman Reigns.

And you hate that most of all.
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