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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat April 13

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The Coach is on the first revamped episode of Cheap Heat
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode:“A New Day, A New Coach” (April 13, 2016)
Run Time: 1:14:58
Guest: Jonathan Coachman (2:34)

Summary: Peter Rosenberg and Stat Guy Greg bring us the first post-David Shoemaker Cheap Heat. This one features, via phone, Jonathan Coachman, so naturally they open with a look at the WWE/ESPN relationship. There’s a good chat about Coachman transitioning to an in-ring performer before they look at RAW: why is WWE sticking with Shane McMahon, Cesaro’s character development, the promise of Kevin Owens, the evolution of Roman Reigns, new depth in the women’s division and Bullet Club’s arrival. That leads to a tangent on guys who aren’t likely get another WWE run. Then there’s a brief remembering of the recently departed Blackjack Mulligan and Balls Mahoney. After the phone call ends, Greg drops Coach stats, they quickly discuss MVP getting fired from Lucha Underground and note Titus O’Neil’s suspension is over.

Quote of the week: Coachman: “I’ve made it my life’s work to go after trolls on Twitter go after the negativity of wrestling fans and just say, ‘Listen, all of our lives are difficult at some point. For three hours on Monday night, just enjoy yourselves!’ And I think you’d enjoy it so much more if you approached it that way instead of, ‘Can I figure out what’s going on before it happens?’ I don’t understand that.”

Why you should listen: The best part is the general Coachman discussion, notably a funny story about working with Tajiri and his tales of trying to be respectful of the career wrestlers while also acknowledging his own busy work and travel schedule. Beyond that, Coachman is one of the rare former WWE employees who still looks positively on the company and his experience, so there’s zero resentment but plenty of useful context and appreciation for the current roster.

Why you should skip it: There are some questionable opinions voiced, such as Coachman suggesting Owens’ microphone time be kept to a minimum and Rosenberg expressing he doesn’t understand the characters or Zayn or Becky Lynch. It could be argued that’s indicative of fans who don’t pay attention to NXT, but clearly Greg does and could have interjected to counter balance. If the show is going to succeed going forward, Greg needs to be an actual cohost and not simply speak when spoken to.

Final thoughts: It’s likely anyone with a passing interest in Cheap Heat hit the play button immediately to get a feel for the show’s new format. Early returns are positive, as Rosenberg was far more prepared and professional than his usual freewheeling approach. Whether that was out of personal respect for Coachman, a corporate obligation to make good use of an ESPN colleague’s time or some other factor remains to be seen, but it’s a positive indicator for the show going forward. There’s still a desperate need for a guiding direction beyond “What happened on RAW this week?” but if the right guests come through, Cheap Heat could actually increase its relevance over the long haul.

Best Coast Bias: This Shin Goes To 11

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This is N(akamura)XT!
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Tye Dillinger made an opportunity for himself in the main event with an eye rake, then he took it. It was an actually super kick, a thrust shot right to the jaw that looked great, sounded better, and most importantly flattened Shinsuke Nakamura.

It got him a one-count.

You can probably surmise the rest from there even if only in outline form. He was a living embodiment of a Vampire Weekend song, a kid that didn't stand a chance against a grown-ass man, the court jester daring to step to the king in his court. As Tom Phillips and Corey Graves quickly bantered while the dismantling occurred:

"How do you say 'come at me, bro!' in Japanese?"
"Nakamura."

It's one thing to be a good wrestler, it's another thing to be great, and it's entirely something else when you're so good Phillips repeatedly chuckles while you're doing your thing as if you're an awesome gift he can't believe is now in his life on a regular basis or an ATM exploding and making it rain cash, or any other dream scenario your mind can conjure up. Except this is demonstrably real, and the fact that Nakamura is a game changer not only meant he was main eventing the first post Takeover: Dallas episode of NXT but that as "10" as the Canadian is, the crowd was quick to rebut with a wholly accurate rejoinder: "He's 11!" It wasn't the faitest of accompli in NXT's history, but it was never in doubt, either.

In fact, his arrival is so seismic that the resident NXT World Champion said he'd be watching the match and since it was his duty, obligation and honor to defend the Big X against anybody anywhere anytime that when Nakamura wanted a crack at it, it was his.

Um, now?! What about now?! Or now?!? Does that work for everybody, the NOW-ness of it all? The prospect of Nakamura/Finn for the title is the sort of thing that turns even the most jaded of fans into a Colbert reaction gif.

Those reactions are just more overblown iterations of the one Tommaso Ciampa had when he successfully tapped out Simon Gotch earlier in the hour's best match, meaning that he and Johnny Wrestling Gargano had just beaten the Vaudevillians. On another show this could've gone another Dillinger easy, but it was still good while we got it and it came with the slightly shocking clean ending to boot. After all, it was noted by the Kings of Commentary about the Vaudies' recent elevation to the main roster as well as their insertion into the number one tag team contendership tournament over yonder. But Team Indie, for lack of a better term, got to show off tandem offense as well as their own bona fides as a unit (the kind talented enough to advance in the Dusty Classic, lest we forget) on their way to the victory. With American Alpha facing the also recently departed to Mondays Enzo Amore and Big Cass next week, we are definitely looking at a change of the guard in the tag division. Could Ciamps and Gargs end up helming it before the year's end? There are harder things to conceive.

Like Bayley picking up a mic and ethering the crowd before piefacing Izzy on the way out, for example. In sharp contrast to Alexa Bliss' earlier victory over Tessa Blanchard, the perpetual happy warrior came out and bonded with the fans in her usual manner before making short work of Liv Morgan. It was odd seeing her without the title, something the KOC noted in a few ways multiple times even in a showcase match like this. Post-match Bayley gave her dethroner kudos and then cut a pretty cliche-laden speech that she made work because this is NXT and she's Bayley. Just further proof of the Draper/Campbell Corollary in action while she talked about a champion getting back up more times then they get knocked down and standing for the people who stood by her -- eyes would roll so hard across the Intertubes if John Cena gave this speech that if they were able to be used for an alternative energy source the price of gas would drop to $0.73 a gallon -- but she made it work and, yes, did hug Izzy on her way out.

It was a fine moment and maybe the best character work on a really good show, but it probably won't be the one that the episode will be remembered for. Tragically for Austin Aries, it won't even be his own hourly debut that kicked off the program and Roaring Elbowing Angelo Dawkins so hard it almost knocked off his MVP cosplay completely.

It'll be the King of NXT's ring, swaggering into the spotlight he owns and combining comedy with an underpinning sense of viciousness.

You know, the sort of thing that makes fans rewind and even the most lawful neutral announcers chuckle repeatedly and with good reason.

The Wrestling Podcast, Vol. 2, Episode 6: AK Lingus

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Miz is the topic of some discussion this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Episode 6: All About the Shelton Benjamins

AK Lingus, who has written all around the interwebs, joins the show this week to talk about the latest in WWE and NXT. We start out talking about WWE's injury problem, whether it's due to luck or something deeper. We move into whether Roman Reigns is the most interesting wrestler in WWE with some sidetracks into John Cena. We muse about WWE's midcard and both have mutual appreciation for The Miz. We take a detour into discussion about Shinsuke Nakamura, which leads into Twitter questions. We spend a lot of time on the merits and demerits of a renewed brand split and then finish up on the Global Cruiserweight Series.

You can go to the Dropbox page to get your podcast on, but if you want it delivered to your podcast host of choice, you gotta help me out with some money. Head over to my Patreon and give any amount of money you can, but if you give $25 or more and you don't have any outstanding reason why I wouldn't want to talk to you, you can get your spot opposite of me on the show.

Related Links:

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 297

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Konnan is on the Art of Wrestling this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 297 (April 14, 2016)
Run Time: 1:03:51
Guest: Konnan (12:09)

Summary: After nearly five years, Colt Cabana finally checks Konnan off his list of coveted guests. The first topic is marijuana. Konnan opens up about his family background and how he was a difficult teenager. That led directly into his stint in the Navy, which turned into the incredibly unusual way in which he broke in to professional wrestling. Rey Mysterio, Sr.’s influence is a topic before Konnan explains how the lucha libre scene ascended in popularity in the early 1990s as well as his own crossover success. There are some quick hits on the pivotal 1994 When Worlds Collide show and how that led to stints in ECW, WWF and ultimately WCW. After discussing an appearance on Chris Jericho’s podcast, the chat disintegrates into nothingness until the routine closing plugs.

Quote of the week:“I always felt that if I dressed — if I didn’t dress a certain way or look a certain way or even act a certain way, I was just another wrestler. So I just always wanted to stand out. You know, whether it was my outfits — which I spent a lot of money on — my outfits or it was my physique, you know, always making sure that I looked good, or doing different moves; there’s a lot of different moves that even today in the United States — eh, not a lot, but I would say about five or six that I originated, people don’t know. But I just always wanted to be different. That’s really it.”

Why you should listen: Konnan is nothing if not a good storyteller, and it’s worth hearing his break-in story just to imagine being in his shoes under such bizarre circumstances. The lucha world and Mexican wrestling in general are comparatively unexplored relative to the American and European independent scene that general draws Cabana’s focus, and perhaps most importantly this is definitely an interview with Konnan the performer as a whole, and not just Konnan the Nitro/Thunder fixture. I’m not sure I hear the letters nWo uttered in succession.

Why you should skip it: Cabana didn’t seem able to guide the conversation in the directions he intended, which yielded a few awkward moments. And while it’s not overpowering here, there are flashes of Konnan’s legendary ego that put some of his recollections into a degree of doubt. And it went on at least three minutes past the point of anything interesting to discuss.

Final thoughts: You’ll probably enjoy several moments, but there’s more than a few spots where a prudent editor could have trimmed away some of the fat. Konnan’s a fun enough dude, but despite the fact he is able to respect Cabana as an equal, I can’t help but think the average fan would get more out of a Konnan sitdown with Steve Austin as the host.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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Emma here showing Paige whose house it really is
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Best Friends – The Miz and Maryse
Miz and Maryse are still being delightfully obnoxious together. Real life marriages don't always translate to on-screen awesomeness, but these two are killing it, making it harder and harder for me to have much sympathy for Zack Ryder. I wondered why I started feeling stressed as he made his way to the ring after interrupting Miz and Maryse. Then I remembered that the last time Ryder was relevant it resulted in a whole lot of misogynistic ugliness being thrown Eve Torres' way. Sure enough, Ryder wasted no time making a crack about how Miz wears more make-up than Maryse, which is something that she should be ashamed of, apparently. Because women are the only people who wear make-up and is there anything worse than being like a woman? Ugh. Ryder needs to stick with his focus on getting the title back and proving that he can hang on the Intercontinental scene. When he talks about how much having the title meant to him and how much he hated losing it he sounds a lot more sincere and likable. He lost his match this week against Baron Corbin, but Dolph Ziggler ran out to save him post-match, so maybe they can work together on being better friends and not ruining things.

Best Eschewer of Friendship  Emma
Since vaulting back onto the main roster women's division, Emma has just been owning everything she does. If Becky Lynch is the best face in the division, Emma is definitely the best villain, making them perfect foils. Emma's grudge is that she tried and failed to make it as a charming girl-next-door on the main roster (in her words, she was “rejected”) and then along came Becky Lynch with a similar nice-girl character that was immediately embraced and given a spotlight title match at WrestleMania for good measure. Emma's anger is totally understandable, but she's taking it out on the wrong person, making her relateable but ultimately unjustified in her actions, just like a good villain should be. Her determined, steely-eyed promos about taking Lynch down have shown us some of the best motivation in the women's division, and they aren't dissimilar to when Lynch was increasingly committed to taking Charlotte down. THIS is how you do a jealousy storyline, WWE.

It was also kind of fascinating to see Emma take on and beat Paige. The two former NXT foes have both changed a lot, with Emma evolving and improving and Paige seemingly regressing. It's kind of hard to take her “This is my house!” cries seriously when she hasn't done anything to back up her claims in a long time.

Saddest Friends – The Ascension
I mean, Enzo Amore pretty much said it all. The worst thing you can say about the Ascension is that they're the Ascension. I do feel bad for them having come up with the wrong crop of NXT call-ups and getting absolutely no support, but, again: it's the Ascension. They never were exactly lighting up my world. That being said, it was a lot of fun seeing Amore bounce around between the two of them before he and Colin Cassady moved ahead in the tag team tournament.

Better Without Friends (This One Time) – Alberto del Rio
Alberto del Rio showed up for his match against AJ Styles solo, without the League of Nations backing him up, and while I would normally be disappointed by not getting to see Supportive Bestie Rusev, it meant I could enjoy the match without fear of shenanigans. Unlike a lot of people, I never stopped loving del Rio and believing that he can be great. I've been disappointed in his obvious disinterest and lack of motivation at times, but I've never been unhappy to see him, and for matches like this, where he's fired up and into it, I get downright giddy. The match was a lot of fun, with Styles taking the win, and I wouldn't mind seeing these two face each other again some time in the future.

Best New Friends – Goldust and Fandango
I haven't been feeling the Golden Truth thing at all. I do like both Goldust and R-Truth, but this neverending will they/won't they thread has been of no interest to me whatsoever. Suddenly a wild Fandango appeared on Smackdown to team up with Goldust in Truth's stead. Fandango used awkward dancing and it was super effective because for the first time I was heavily invested in what was going on. Such is the power of wrestling. And awkward dancing. The newly dubbed Goldango lost their match against the Vaudevillains (like the Ascension's loss, it was a foregone conclusion), but I still enjoyed it. It was nice to see Fandango in the ring again, and if he can continue to inject some life into the Golden Truth saga, I'm all for it.

Biggest Fan of Friendship – Dean Ambrose
Smackdown's main event featured two Canadians in the ring, one on guest commentary, and one on actual commentary. I'm not saying that the growing number of Canadians on this show is a direct contributor to Smackdown maintaining a consistent quality lately...but I'm not not saying that, either.

Sami Zayn and Chris Jericho were set to face each other, and for the first time in my life I was disappointed to hear Kevin Owens' music hit. I mean, it's Smackdown, where main event interferences are generally in order, plus we already got a perfectly clean match between Styles and Del Rio, so I guess I'm just getting spoiled, but I really wanted to see Jericho and Zayn go at it hijinks-free.

That being said, there are far, far worse things than listening to Kevin Owens and Dean Ambrose on commentary together, and the regular commentary team mostly just let them banter in peace. The two were remarkably cordial to each other given their past...until Ambrose brought up Owens' betrayal of Zayn, his former BFF, and took him to task for it. Owens responded by rescinding his support for Ambrose's talk show. I love that the one thing Dean Ambrose can't forgive is turning one's back on a friend.

Final note: Jericho taking refuge behind Eden, where he could safely yell at Ambrose, after the match had broken down into a brawl was fantastic. Jericho is the best at being the worst.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 316

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Austin, shown above with Xavier Woods, runs down Mania in his latest podcast
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show — Unleashed!
Episode: 316 (April 14, 2016)
Run Time: 1:23:38
Guest: Court Bauer (4:45)

Summary: Austin is finally settled back into home life and on the phone with Court Bauer to break down WrestleMania 32. They start by sharing their overall impressions of the show, talk about the fallout over the ensuing two weeks of TV and quickly discuss recent NXT roster moves and American Alpha. Then they review WrestleMania from the ladder match to the main event.

Quote of the week:“You didn’t feel the stakes, and they didn’t really call the stakes in terms of calling the action that the whole complexion of the WWE — this could be the new era if Shane wins this, this could be Undertaker’s last ride at WrestleMania in Dallas — they didn’t, it didn’t feel as big, it almost was like they kind of muted that energy. And Vince, just one shot would have been enough to represent the stakes being so high. Show him in the skybox, show him with Jerry Jones, I don’t care where you show him, show the guy, and show that the stakes are high, this is his company, this is the legacy, and we didn’t get that. It was odd.”

Why you should listen: Austin is likely to refer back to WrestleMania for the remainder of the WWE year, so you might as well get his impressions from their initial appearance on wax. If you’re not into the blow-by-blow analysis, the opening moments are a sufficient synopsis, and I’m always up for Austin discussing any aspect of his interest in NXT.

Why you should skip it: Bauer comes off as overly negative, and Austin apparently hasn’t seen anything since the curtain dropped with Roman Reigns victorious in Dallas. For a show recorded more than two weeks after the event, it seems shortsighted to overlook WrestleMania’s role in the larger narrative. This level of analysis wouldn’t have seemed nearly as out of place if recorded the morning after the big show.

Final thoughts: It might be too much to ask of these guys, but it would’ve been nice if one of them challenged assumptions about the way WWE operates. Instead of simply complaining that WrestleMania didn’t play to an expected format, perhaps wonder if WWE might be slowly trying to recondition its audience. Instead of consternation about why the legacy stars from Sunday were nowhere to be seen Monday night, maybe consider if their use on RAW might have detracted from its obvious intended purpose as a launching pad for new talent. Not that they’re wrong and I’m right, but it must be said Bauer specifically framed a lot of his criticism as WWE not doing what he expected and never bothering to question the validity of his expectations. The end result is a paint-by-numbers look at WrestleMania barely differentiated from the social media groupthink, an output not befitting of someone positioned as a leading voice in wrestling commentary.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 317

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Austin gabs about decidedly non-wrestling things
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 317 (April 19, 2016)
Run Time: 1:26:28
Guest: Easton Corbin, Chris Tate (11:16)

Summary: Austin is home at 316 Gimmick Street with country music star Easton Corbin and his manager, Chris Tate. They talk about Corbin’s recent birthday, honor the death of Merle Haggard and lament the end of an era. Other topics include beer, constructing a tour schedule, hunting and deer herd management, road life, and engaging with crowds.

Quote of the week:“There’s some days that are tougher than others … but then you gotta kinda step back and put yourself in perspective, or put things in perspective and say, ‘You know what? I could still be working at Ace Hardware.’ Nothing wrong with Ace Hardware, I love Ace Hardware. It provided me with income, you know, as I was going to school and getting my deal. But I definitely like singing better than, you know, doing that. Or I could be digging a ditch. Nothing wrong with that. … I’m living my dream. There’s so many other people that would love to be able to do what I do, you know, that would love that chance.”

Why you should listen: This episode appeals to people who like country music, Broken Skull IPA, and deer hunting.

Why you should skip it: There’s probably quite a few folks who fit in the sweet spot of that Venn diagram — but if you’re on the complete outside, this one is going to drag painfully as you search for a shred of anything approaching interesting.

Final thoughts: Corbin’s a nice enough guy, but the topics here are so narrow as to make your choice of whether or not to listen fairly simple. To be fair to Austin, he’s got a pretty good handle on his listener demographics — in this case I’m sure I’m the outlier. Bottom line, though, if you’re here for the wrestling, then you don’t need to pay heed to Ep. 317.

RIP Chyna

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Rest in peace
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Wrestling lost an absolute icon last night. Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna, passed away at age 46. She was found unresponsive in her room in Redondo Beach, CA. Chyna will forever be best known as the WWE's most popular and important female superstar, even if WWE hasn't acknowledged that status in the years since she was released from the company. She first was the enforcer and bodyguard for Triple H before becoming a wrestler on her own. She is the only woman to have held the Intercontinental Championship.

Chyna and Triple H had a real life relationship that ended when he started seeing Stephanie McMahon. Not coincidentally, Chyna left the company shortly thereafter, beginning a "cold war" period between her and the McMahon family. She moved onto other companies, including short stints in New Japan Pro Wrestling in 2002 and TNA in 2011. She also appeared in several reality television programs, but her most famous, or infamous, post-WWE career choice was in pornographic cinema. Triple H said that the porn movies were the reason why he couldn't induct Chyna in the WWE Hall of Fame. In a related note, Tammy "Sunny" Sytch has not been removed from the WWE Hall of Fame despite starring in a porno movie this past year. Nor should she, to be honest. Even though the porn industry is predatory towards its performers, in a perfect world, it wouldn't be this stigmatized. However, America's problems with sex and sex workers are fodder for another debate.

Chyna had a lot of problems in her life post-WWE, but everyone has problems in their lives. Her tumultuous life post-WWE should not overshadow her mammoth accomplishments in wrestling during her heyday. She was an icon for women fans to latch onto, and she showed that women didn't have to be "just" special attractions like Alundra Blayze and Bull Nakano, or supporting players on the sideline like Miss Elizabeth and Sensational Sherri. She was dynamic, and she deserved every lick of fame that she got. Hopefully now, she's found some semblance of peace.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Talk is Jericho, Ep. 237

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The Freebirds are Jericho's guest this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Talk is Jericho
Episode: 237
Run Time: 1:12:53
Guest: Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin

Summary: Apparently recorded a day or so before the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony, this episode sees Jericho interview the still-living Fabulous Freebirds, Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin. Very early on, they point out that while Garvin might have seemed like a tacked-on afterthought to the Freebirds, he actually was considered a fourth member of the group for a very long time, and actually lived in a house with the guys. This means that Garvin has just as many stories as Hayes does about the crazy hijinx they used to get involved in, though those stories mostly have to do with Terry Gordy and Buddy Roberts. They do touch on the Freebirds' failed WWF run, which can be partially chalked up to Hayes falling asleep in a meeting with Vince McMahon. Jericho then asks them to reflect on what it means for them to finally be inducted into WWE's Hall of Fame.

Quote of the Week: Hayes, on using "Freebird" as their entrance music - "That song always spoke to me. It was my favorite song. And it spoke to me in a way that...we're all Freebirds. And because we're free enough to have our own identity, free enough to have whatever drives us to do what we do, to be our motivation, we don't have to be clones. And what makes you tick doesn't make me tick, and it doesn't have to, and we can both tick at the same time, in the same zone, in the same world."

Why you should listen: As much of an egomaniac as he may be, Michael Hayes really did deserve this Hall of Fame recognition for his work as one of the best heels of his era, and Jimmy Garvin... well, he was alright. So it's nice to hear these guys feel almost relieved in a way to not have the lack of recognition weighing on their shoulders. This comfort allows for a free-wheeling talk with Jericho where they mostly just tell stories about stuff that happened outside of the ring. The one area of analysis about pro wrestling comes when Hayes says that wrestlers today aren't as close to each other because they're not as dependent on each other for their salaries, which is an interesting point that might not be cause for lamenting, but it's thought-provoking nonetheless.

Why you should skip it: I'm positive that Jericho could have steered the discussion more toward the Freebirds' feud with the von Erichs, and all the nuances that made that such an attraction for so many years. Or really, he could have made an effort to talk wrestling at all, but he just didn't. He kind of just lets Hayes and Garvin tell old road stories to their hearts' desires, and while that's fun, not everyone wants to hear old dudes talk about how hard they used to party.

Final Thoughts: I inherently mistrust most of the things Michael Hayes says. He just seems like a worker who never learned how to stop working. When I realized what this episode was going to be, I thought, "Oh great, he's going to tell a bunch of stories that are maybe 40% true." But even if that is the case, these stories are too awesome to dismiss. He talks about how on The Freebirds' first night living in a new house that many legendary wrestlers had already lived in, Terry Gordy destroyed all the furniture and threw it in the fireplace, for no reason. Buddy Roberts pranked everyone he knew by urinating all over them, and one time when Gordy and Hayes retaliated and peed all over Roberts, he responded by refusing to change his urine-soaked clothes for two days. I just can't make myself care if these stories are exaggerated or totally invented. Pro wrestlers sacrificed their lives for years and years to enrich our souls, and if they want to make their insane lives seem even more insane with fluffed-up details, I think they've earned that right.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat April 20

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Renee Young calls into the revamped Cheap Heat
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: April 20, 2016
Run Time: 1:10:06
Guest: Renee Young (2:03); Mr. Rosenberg (48:40)

Summary: Peter Rosenberg and Stat Guy Greg take a phone call from another high-profile guest, WWE’s Renee Young. After discussing living in Las Vegas, her suburban Toronto childhood and nascent fandom, they break down the London RAW, with sidetracks into Young’s improv background and thoughts on the Kelly Ripa-Michael Strahan situation. After that call ends, the guys talk a bit more RAW until Rosenberg’s father calls in, which leads to some fun reminiscing about his youthful encounters with wrestling. Then our hosts get back to RAW again, while Rosenberg also takes some time to stress his bona fides. They end with a quick hit on Conor McGregor.

Quote of the week: Young: “I love the idea of being able to carve a path that, like, other chicks can kind of aspire to do and, like, even now I’m getting, like, messages from, like, girls and stuff that see the role that I do in WWE is different from the other girls and it’s like a cool thing for them. So, like, yeah, I would love to get behind the booth and do that and I did get a little bit of reps under my belt by doing some stuff down at NXT and on SuperStars. But I would never do play by play. I could handle doing some color, but I would never be able to do play by play.”

Why you should listen: As expected, Young is engaging, and not just because of her affinity for Goldust. As a fellow broadcasting professional, Rosenberg is well equipped to draw interesting information from Young, and Greg does a better job stepping into his cohost role this week. I actually quite enjoyed the conversation with the senior Rosenberg, even as it went beyond name drops of the likes of Haystacks Calhoun and Gorgeous George.

Why you should skip it: This episode struggles mightily from Rosenberg’s signature lack of preparation. He rushes away from a solid Young interview to get her to talk about RAW, and while there is the unusual circumstance of her watching the show from home this week, the show generally drags until talk again turns back to Young’s professional background. In the same way, I actually wished the call with Rosenberg’s dad went on longer, because it was much more entertaining than the bookending RAW talk.

Final thoughts: If this new format is going to succeed, Rosenberg is going to need to rely more on his big picture interview skills and less on forcing his guests to go beat-by-beat through the preceding WWE show. We all (presumably) know what happened Monday night, so Cheap Heat needs to either go in depth on a specific segment germane to the guest or talk about the aspects of the guest’s life and career we don’t learn from seeing them on TV each week. RAW has long been a crutch for Cheap Heat, and far too often the time the podcast gives it is little more than a rundown of the night’s events instead of commentary or criticism that deepens fans’ appreciation and understanding of the product.

The Wrestling Podcast, Vol. 2, Ep. 7: Sam DiMascio

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A bit of Callihan talk among other stuff this week
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Episode 7: Darling Nikki Bella

Sam DiMascio jumps aboard the podcast this week to talk about a recent road trip he took to take in some southern 'graps over the last weekend. Before the road trip talk, we gab about a possible one-off return of Squared Circle Wrestling. Then, Sam and I get into his weekend, which started with NWA Smoky Mountain's Smoky Mountain Cup. Sam raves about Kyle Matthews vs. Jimmy Rave, and we run down the other first round matches. After a sojourn about Jeff Cobb and Beyond Wrestling, we get to the overly long tag gauntlet and the final. Then we move onto the second half of his weekend, which was Atlanta Wrestling Entertainment's Homegrown '16 card, which featured mutual murder between Gary Jay and Tripp Cassidy on the pre-show, a rockin' tag match between Team IOU and the Spring Street Suicide Squad, and a certain match of the year candidate between Chip Day and Sami Callihan. After running down what Sam calls one of the most diverse wrestling cards of the year, we stop on Conor McGregor's WWE ambitions and the Global Cruiserweight Series before getting into Twitter questions.

If you're listening to this week's episode, then you've made the effort to head over to the Dropbox link. If you'd like to get these shows delivered to your doorstep, then please consider donating a few shekels to my Patreon campaign. I will take anything you can find it in your heart to donate, but if you wanna be a BIG SPENDER and go $25 or more, then you can get yourself a spot as a guest on the podcast as long as you meet certain requirements. Please help me help you get the word out about this show more easily

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I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 298

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Spud joins the Art of Wrestling this week
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 298 (April 21, 2016)
Run Time: 1:09:00
Guest: Rockstar Spud (10:50)

Summary: Colt Cabana starts his chat with Rockstar Spud by making small talk about drinking and then cars before moving on to Spud’s career arc, his impressions of Kurt Angle, staying a fan of wrestling and always being the small guy. Spud opens up a bit about his ADHD and lack of relationship with his brother, Tom, then talks about his early wrestling training, balancing his passion with a career in banking and how the Spud character evolved into Rockstar. He traces the path from British Bootcamp to Ohio Valley Wrestling to some of the weird things he’s had to do on the TNA main roster. He and Cabana bury the hatchet on some old heat between the two and then Spud talks up the current iteration of Impact Wrestling before getting the go-home cue.

Quote of the week:“I never see anyone as a failure in this business. Everybody that got into it, you’ve got all these people who go, ‘I went here and I failed,’ or, ‘I did this and I failed’ or, ‘I was a wrestler and I didn’t get to WWE and I failed, and this happened, that happened.’ You impacted someone else’s life on a show that came and paid to see you, and you, like, you made them care. All your friends that are telling you that, ‘Ah, you’re not very good’ or, ‘Why are you doing that? It’s silly,’ or ‘Why you doing this? It’s silly’ — you did what you wanted to do, and you accomplished it, and instead of pissing it down the drain every week at a 9 to 5, you’re actually traveling the country, traveling the world, you’re going to, you know, other, meet people — would you have met the people you’ve met if you hadn’t of just decided, ‘I’m going to wear Lycra pants for a living and be a professional wrestler’? ”

Why you should listen: Spud has a great handle on the internal struggle between a commonsense approach to life and the artists’ desire to perform, but he adds a layer by expressing a deep understanding of the character he portrays while being able to hold that as a separate identity from his own individuality — even as he longs for an identity as a wrestler. His observations of the otherworldly ability to perform witnessed in men like Angle are well stated, and the matter of fact what he explains his strained relationship with his brother is the kind of raw honesty that makes Art Of Wrestling the show other wrestling podcasts aim to replicate.

Why you should skip it: For each high point there seems to be a significant lull. Put another way: This episode might read better than it actually sounds. There’s little bad and nothing offensive, it just seems like Cabana and Spud aren’t firing as well in this context as we might expect based on what is known about their personalities.

Final thoughts: It might have been handy to discuss the long ago locker room encounter off tape before the interview began, rather than tack it on awkwardly near the end, or for Cabana to not mention that portion during his monologue, therefore casting it as a thin pall over the entire conversation. But he makes his own editorial decisions, and sometimes they’re not the strongest. Still, if you like Spud at all, chances are good this will be worth your time.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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Gallows and Anderson were at the tip of everyone's tongues this week on Smackdown
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Most Questioned Friendship – AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, and Luke Gallows
I'll be honest. I really don't care about Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows' maybe/not really alliance with AJ Styles. The only impact they're inducing with me is a stifled yawn when they're on screen. I am trying to keep an open mind, though, so we'll see if I can mine some interest out of Styles looking increasingly perturbed by the actions of his old pals.

At the very least, Gallows and Anderson's actions gave us Interrogator Miz, which was a delight. Smackdown opened with Miz TV again this week, and I was little bit apprehensive because, much as I love the Miz, I feel like opening with these segments week after week will just run a good thing into the ground (and WWE has totally never done that before, right?). However, the moment Miz started getting into AJ Styles' face, all wild gesticulations and “So did you do it, AJ???,” all my worries fell by the wayside. Maryse offering her husband acting notes was just the cherry on top. That segment begat a match between Styles and Miz later in the night, and while Miz tried to bail only to be intimidated back into the ring by Anderson and Gallows, I'm just glad that the Miz is allowed to be a legitimate opponent again, silly though he still is as a character.

Minus 50 friendship points to AJ Styles, though, for knocking down the Miz on his show when the poor man didn't do anything other than ask questions and kiss his wife. I will not tolerate that nonsense. NOT phenomenal, sir. Also, way to prove that you're totally innocent and would never sanction attacking Roman Reigns unawares by attacking someone else unawares.

Should Maybe Just Stick With His Friend – Kalisto
I've changed my mind so many times on what I want for Kalisto. On one hand, I think he is great and deserves a great singles career; on the other hand, I think the Lucha Dragons are great and should stay in the tag division. After Kalisto's match against Ryback, I think I'm back in the “stick with Sin Cara” camp. At first I didn't realize it wasn't a title match, and I was actually a little relieved when I thought Kalisto had lost the title. Since he won it he's hardly been in the spotlight at all, except to get bogged down in this abysmal feud against Ryback that no one cares about. If Ryback had won the title, at least his boring promos and matches would no longer be Kalisto's problem. Alas, apparently we're not done with this yet. #FreeKalisto (from Ryback) (not Sin Cara)

Friend To No One, 'Cuz He's a Lone Wolf, Man – Baron Corbin
In response to the question of why he attacked Dolph Ziggler before their match even started, thus flagrantly flouting the rules, Baron Corbin declared, “Because I CAN,” and if he said anything else I missed it because I was laughing too hard. Everyone watch out for bad Baron Corbin, so edgy that he will not stop even the face of vigorously pointing referees going “Hey, stop that!” Will no one stop this rebellious rebel's rebellion?

Most Beneficial Friendship – Paige and Natalya
Last week I noted how lucklastre Paige has been lately compared to Emma, but teaming up with Natalya this week seemed to inspire her a little bit. Yeah, she was also probably happy to be in her home country, but I like to believe that the power of friendship also had something to do with it. Not so lucky were Naomi and Tamina, unfortunately, and if we're continuing the women's title picture away from the direction of Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks, I'm going to go ahead and toss Naomi's name out there. Give this woman a title already!

Jerry Lawler is a shitty announcer note of the week: Charlotte and Natalya are going to have their respective elderly male relations in their corners during their upcoming match, and Lawler would not stop squawking about how much he hates Bret Hart. It's fine to mention it once, but he constantly kept bringing it back up. Ranallo and Saxton would get back to talking about the match happening in front of them, and Lawler would start in on Hart again. The man has absolutely no concept of balance or restraint.

Confused Friend – Goldust
Goldust served as the referee for R-Truth and Fandango's match. He tried to stay professional and keep the action going (hilariously selling every hit the opponents took), but eventually he was unwillingly drawn into the power of dance, and Truth's victory left him more confused than ever.

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER – Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens
Smackdown's main even actually killed me with its friendship levels. I am dead of the friendship and am writing this as a friendship ghost. It started out harmless enough. Dean Ambrose and Sami Zayn teamed up, so they had an adorable backstage segment bickering about what they should call their team (Dean Ambrose is the kind of guy who absolutely WOULD call his team “the rough riders” and think nothing of it). They faced Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens and had a fun little traditional Smackdown tag team main event.

But then Owens pinned Ambrose for the win and could not stop declaring his victory, culminating with him LEAPING INTO JERICHO'S ARMS out of pure joy and yelling “We're the best!” And then he admitted that “Chris helped, but I beat [Ambrose]!” but Jericho told him he could take all the credit and it was TOO MUCH and TOO BEAUTIFUL. I've been so impressed with these two as they've kept tagging together over the past few weeks. At first they were unpredictable and grudging team mates, and now they're strategising together and celebrating together and giving each other kudos. Ranallo referred to them as the “cantankerous canucks” (A+ alliterative alias assignation there, sir), and I hope they stay that way forever. Mind you, the last time Chris Jericho was super nice to his tag team partner (i.e. throwing himself in harm's way for AJ Styles) it resulted in immediate betrayal. Damn you, Jericho, if you hurt Kevin Owens just when you've broken the walls around his heart down, I will never forgive you!

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 318

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David Walker, the brewmaster at Firestone, is on the Austin Show
Photo via FirestoneBeer.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 318
Run Time: 1:12:35
Guest: David Walker (12:10)

Summary: Austin drops by the Firestone Walker Brew Pub in Venice, Calif., to chat up co-owner David Walker. It’s heavy on the background from the outset, as Walker explains the history of the brewing outfit and pub itself as well as his own personal background of moving from England to California. Walker has a lot of information about how the craft beer industry evolved. Eventually Austin spins the topic to label and logo design, then asks Walker about the background of specific beers. Wrapping up, Walker explained his company’s relatively new partnership with Duvel Moortgat.

Quote of the week:“Family businesses are sort of strange. They make decisions that normal businesses don’t because it’s a family. Their name’s on the bottle. They, they get stopped in the street and tapped on the shoulder and said, ‘Hey, you know, this is your business, thank you for doing this.’ Or, ‘I don’t like that.’ So there’s a sort of a proprietal element to a family enterprise that you don’t have, I think, with giant public companies or, or just other sort of investors. And Duvel Moortgat had that in spades. Plus, they’re an amazing brewer.”

Why you should listen: You care deeply about beer.

Why you should skip it: You don’t give a second thought to beer.

Final thoughts: Austin had to get an episode on wax before going in for shoulder surgery. He did his homework on his guest to add to his already strong knowledge of the craft beer industry. The guest is a nice guy, well spoken with a decent story to tell. But it’s all about beer, and I found the entire thing dreadfully boring. You may not… but I’m suspecting you’ll have a good guess before you hit the play button.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 319

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Austin gives his thoughts on Chyna in this episode
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 319 (April 26, 2016)
Run Time: 1:16:37
Guest: None

Summary: Austin is recording a solo show this week because was drinking wine with his bad arm and spilled a full glass all over his computer. After telling that story, he talks about how he learned of Chyna’s death and reflects on her legacy and their relationship. He touches quickly on the deaths of Prince and guitarist Lonnie Mack before reviewing emailed questions from listeners. Topics included beer, Attitude Era match quality, his WrestleMania 32 appearance, getting WWE stars on Broken Skull Challenge, life advice, cars, if UFC and WWE are competing, how bigger wrestlers avoid blowing up in the ring, personal memorabilia, stunt blood, Roman Reigns, Austin’s merchandise, his new skull ring and career influences.

Quote of the week:“I just thought she was a super sweetheart lady. She had her issues — hey man, we all do. She weathered a lot of storms, she had a tough life, but on the big stage she got out there and performed. She gave her heart, she gave her heart and soul to everything she did, and she loved the business. And she was a pleasure to be around, and she was a breath of fresh air. … Man, I’ll miss you. I had so much fun with you and enjoyed all of our times that we got to spend together and our stupid brand, sense of humor. That time I busted my ass in the Houston Summit right before I was fixin’ to go out there and wrestle Mick Foley, and you were sittin’ on that anvil case, and I was putting my water on, and slipped in a pile of water and busted my ass right in front of you. I’ll remember all the good times, and I’ll remember you and I wish you were still here.”

Why you should listen: Bummer about Austin’s MacBook Pro, but this turned out to be a good week for a solo show. His thoughts on Chyna were significantly more meaningful than WWE’s tribute video (a mere collection of still images and retweets), and honestly that could have been the entire episode. He did a good job of curating questions to avoid well-worn topics, and kept the pace brisk enough such that the show seemed just the right length.

Why you should skip it: It’s still 75 minutes of one guy’s voice, which no matter how brisk can be a lot to take in for some folks. Likewise, there are those unready or unwilling to consider the complexities of Chyna’s legacy, or who simply don’t want to hear Austin doing anything other than having a rip-roaring good time.

Final thoughts: It might not rise to the level of mandatory, but the opening 25 minutes or so are pretty important for anyone willing to consider wrestling beyond the image WWE presents when the lights are on and cameras rolling. Most folks probably can do without listening to the rest of the show, but I found it much more enjoyable than some of Austin’s recent interviews with boring guests. That’s no guarantee the next solo show will be any good, but they’re so rare any more a decent effort has a chance to stand out.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The VIP Lounge, April 24

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Mysterio is one of MVP's guests this episode
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: The VIP Lounge
Episode: 4/24/16
Run Time: 59:57
Guests: Rey Mysterio, Johnny Mundo, Konnan, Hugo Savinovich, Carlito

Summary: MVP is at a hotel in Santiago, Chile, on a big tour headlined by Rey Mysterio, Matt Hardy, Pentagón, Jr., and many others. To get an episode released, he visits with his peers and does some short, guerrilla-style segments with them. Hugo Savinovich put together the tour, so he talks about its great success in spite of torrential flooding in Chile. Rey Mysterio comes on for a little while to talk about life on the road and what has made him a continued success in wrestling. We cut to a short vape session with Konnan, Johnny Mundo and Carlito where they laugh a lot. Then MVP does a one-on-one with Johnny Mundo where he talks about his self-financed movie, The Bounty Hunter.

Quote of the Week: Mysterio, on connecting with fans - "After seeing my kids grow up and seeing how they would want certain things, or meet certain people, and being who I am, I would be able to make that happen for them, I would see their happiness. So just to see that, knowing that I can do the same for other kids, or for other people, knowing that I have that gift to put a smile on somebody's face, man, I'm all up for it. That's who I am."

Why you should listen: I was quite thrilled to hear Mysterio mention his "left knee," echoing that famous line that used to play before every WWE DVD. I've also never heard Mysterio use curse words, and that was cool too. These are, for the most part, very unguarded conversations where it's clearly just a bunch of guys relaxing after a night out and processing their current situation. MVP and Mysterio are sitting outside the hotel at midnight, vaping in the rain. Beautiful, right?

Why you should skip it: MVP openly admits that he is doing one of these segments just to fill time and slam out a quick episode. This is probably a fair assessment of the entire episode. MVP is in Chile and obviously very busy, so he turned on the mics and interviewed some friends with surface-level questions. When he talks to Hugo Savinovich, he brings up the perpetual destruction of the Spanish Announce Table, and this smacks of laziness.

Final Thoughts: The general tossed-off nature of this episode is summed up when a dog comes up to the wrestlers during an interview, MVP puts the mic in the dog's face, and Johnny Mundo says, "You realize we're trying to get a dog to talk into your mic at 3AM?" That's the level of looseness that goes on here. Some of the conversation here is totally inconsequential, like when Johnny Mundo talks at length about the headaches of self-financing his own movie. But there are enough moments of interest that would make it worth it to skim through. Rey Mysterio talks about his place as a Lucha legend, and hearing him speak so egocentrically is refreshing because if one guy deserves to have an ego, it's him. MVP gets these insights from his subjects by just turning on a recorder while he and the boys hang out, and this fly-on-the-wall approach will be fascinating for those who wish they were cool enough to drink and vape with Konnan after midnight.

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Cheap Heat April 27

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Henry was Cheap Heat's guest this week
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: Nine-Bell Salute (April 27, 2016)
Run Time: 59:04
Guest: Mark Henry (2:19)

Summary: The show opens with a tribute to the late Chyna, headlined by a seven-minute call with Mark Henry who remembers the day he met Chyna and their relationship over the years. Then Peter Rosenberg and Stat Guy Greg spend about 15 minutes working out their own feelings about her death before discussing Prince. After a commercial, the guys whip through RAW. Rosenberg interrupts that to spend a few minutes discussing the podcast’s format going forward. At the very end, they discuss Samoa Joe winning the NXT title, then very briefly preview Payback.

Quote of the week: Henry: “She’s very glib and funny. She had a great sense of humor. … We spent a lot of time in the gym back in the day, so I got to know her pretty well. … She was a joker, she was funny, she had a great sense of humor, she loved to laugh, she was always picking on somebody and the hardest person in the world to break. I would try to get her to break character all the time, saying’ stuff to her in the ring, and she would just be stonefaced.”

Why you should listen: Henry’s Chyna comments are nothing if not heartfelt. He doesn’t have the best Chyna remembrance you’ll hear this week, but it’s honest and raw and certainly his own thoughts and not something WWE encouraged him to say. That’s worth a lot, brief as it might be.

Why you should skip it: Henry’s phone connection is pretty rough. But worse, the rest of the episode is pretty much crap. The Chyna talk practically demands wrestler eulogy expert David Shoemaker, so what we get instead is Rosenberg grasping at attempts to contextualize Chyna’s career and legacy. At least that’s better than the standard “so hey, RAW happened” segment, and the Payback preview was borderline useless, since it amounted to little more than reading the card and giving names of expected winners without a shred of reasoning.

Final thoughts: Bad news for Cheap Heat fans, the guys made it pretty clear they’re not going to be bringing in guests like Jonathan Coachman and Renee Young every week. That means what you heard for the last half hour of this episode might be the status quo for the foreseeable future, and that’s a bad indicator for folks hoping the show remains relevant. Simply put, if all the guys are doing is reminding us what we saw and giving the basics of what’s coming next, they’re adding nothing to the conversation. The novelty of having a pro wrestling podcast on an ESPN platform is long since passed, and a smart audience will demand a show that enriches the fan experience. As presently constituted, Cheap Heat is far from delivering on that promise.

Best Coast Bias: Step Into The Light

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Coming attractions
Photo Credit: WWE.com
NXT does several dozen things better than pretty much anybody else that isn't their Wednesday night competition, and here's one of them - the lost art of the logical surprise. That is to say, things in early chapters of whatever story they happen to be telling look illogical or cause furrowed eyebrows. It's an easy thing to forget in the digital age that since this soap opera in spandex never ends, that's the point - you have to deploy a multitude of ways to make the same hook(s) shine like new, and along the way to the fireworks factory sometimes side routes have to be used to furrow eyebrows. That way when the payoff happens, it adds to the joy/fury/sadness/whatever combination desired that should be felt by us. Pro wrestling is always at its best when you can suspend your disbelief and care about the people on the screen or in the arena.

So for the first show in the Samoa Joe era and the last one taped in Dallas, our eighth and brand new holder of the NXT World Championship... was barely there. Lest you feel yourself seeing red, don't. It wasn't as if the title change in Lowell was completely ignored (what a horrible 24-hour span for Princes last week, though), and in fact a tease of it kicked off the show before we got into the opener. After that was delivered (more about which imminently), we got some heretofore unseen video footage of match highlights, culminating in the Muscle Buster that delivered Joe the kingdom clean in the middle of the ring to boot. Finn's possible leg injury was shown prior to it, thus giving your beltholder with the longest NXTenure an easy out and setup for a rematch clause assuming he doesn't suddenly find himself another World Title picture to interject himself into starting on, oh, say, Sunday. After Dallas, Joe was struck mute by the fact Bálor had survived him again; here, even in the glow of his title victory he was his usual truculent self even while bigging himself up rightfully as the inevitable.

But this hour focused on the women's and tag divisions, even with SWAGSUKE~! murking Elias Sampson in a showcase to wrap up the program. Back tab to be set to blow up to fullscreen at any time: not just from a fan perspective, though that is the fuel for this wildly speculative question: we getting Joe/Shinsuke Nakamura at the next Takeover or what? (Ed. Note - It's Joe/Bálor III: The Demon Dies, actually. - TH)

With the King of Strong Style bringing down the curtain, it opened up with his fellow import Asuka making her first appearance since becoming NXT World Women's Champion in a bout against the reddest thorn in her side, Eva Marie. It seemed to be the setup for two things: an execution broadcast live on the WWE Network, and Tom Philips and Corey Graves to bring up warm memories of Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon due to the former Tag Champion's fanboy status and the usually straitlaced Phillips ending up so exasperated over his delusions that he referred to him as "dude" twice in the span of under a minute. Even in the best match she's been in to date and even with Nia Jax coming out while the match was in media res, as surprising as the offense the Red Queen got in was she just did not have an answer for Ms. Most Dangerous. Not that anybody else has, but still.

A roundhouse kick dropped her like third-period French, and led to a really interesting postscript. A staredown ensued between Jax and Asuka, with the fellow San Diegan more than willing to get into the new champion's face after another roundhouse was teased. Tempting as that match is, it's even more so to have Eva find some shady way to appropriate the championship, because hoo boy if you could've turned this crowd's contempt for her into an alternate source of fuel gas would be $0.37/gallon. She's not merely disliked but reviled, and much like Baron Corbin last year her work is sneakily and steadily getting better without having the problem of having the crowd latching onto her. Perhaps we're in the opening stanza of a march where Jax ends up softening up Asuka and Eva's the one who ends up reaping all the benefits. It'd bring glee to Corey Graves and all the fellow black hearts out there. And this wasn't the only women's match on the show: Carmella defeated the essentially debuting Aliyah in a match important for the former to re-establish herself as her own woman with her boys going up to the big leagues and the latter to just establish herself, flat out. Aliyah looked good on with the offense she got, Carmella eventually got on enough of a roll to string together some signatures culminating in a tapout, and they're both the better for the match having gone down.

Over in the tag division, the recently dethroned champions the Revival took their loss at Takeover: Dallas with a heretofore unseen blend of calm and self-reflection that called to mind some of the best tenets of Buddhist philosoahahahahahahahahahaahaha sweet goodness there was no way that sentence was going to survive a joke that hilarious. Can you imagine if Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder were actually like that? What a lesser world we NXT fans would have. Anyhow, what actually happened was that they destroyed a couple of red shirts, Scott got on the mic to seethe and promise they'd get back the belts, then after the Hype Bros beat a strangely Alexa Bliss-free Blake and Murphy, they also got the Zubaz beat out of them by the former belt holders. Too many times heels say everybody's on notice but don't follow it up with the logical extension of just punching anybody in the face who makes fans happy; D and D got it done in fewer than 10 minutes. And you know the rematch against American Alpha is going to be appointment television. You could easily argue that outside of the what-do-you-call-the-positive-iteration-of-an-extinction-level-event Sami Zayn/Nakamura match that the four of them put on Takeover: Dallas' best bout, and all four of them are only getting better all of the time.

They weren't extinction level events individually, but in toto it's clear a massive wave is coming has arrived in NXT over the past few weeks. In order, American Alpha has realized their destiny at the expense of pissing off the possible best team to ever hold the belts before them. Asuka still hasn't lost yet and snatched the joy out of Bayley to get her title to boot but has finally run into someone who not only hasn't gotten the Fear Of Asuka put into them but may never have it. And Samoa Joe has ascended to the throne it took him about a year to get onto, making him the top of the food chain in a very hungry, very talented circle that just added a very high profile King to its ranks the same night -- the last night - that he failed.

Wasn't "May you live in interesting times" supposed to be a curse?

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Art Of Wrestling Ep. 299

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Vega is on this week's AOW
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 299 (April 28, 2016)
Run Time: 1:06:03
Guest: Savio Vega (11:12)

Summary: Colt Cabana sits down with Savio Vega, which opens with Vega in the midst of explaining how he follows modern wrestling. He gives Cabana a bit of a history lesson on wrestling in Puerto Rico dating to the 1930s, then talks about his childhood fandom, training in martial arts and how he got into wrestling. Vega traces his career from his first TV matches as enhancement talent, tells stories about his earliest trips stateside and then explains how he became TNT and relives his days on top in Puerto Rico. They end with Vega reflecting on his current role in wrestling.

Quote of the week:“There’s a lot of talent in Puerto Rico. They need the polish. They need to tell them, ‘Don’t do that, because to move this way and do this, you gonna protect yourself and you gonna protect the other guy.’ You know? They need that, and I know they need that. So I’m there because my proposal here is to help the new generation in wrestling to continue in Puerto Rico. But good work. I think it’s my … I need to do that. I need to pass the baton to somebody to learn, to continue — like I said, it’s a good talent, good guys, good kids, so I’m there willing to help.”

Why you should listen: Vega has an infectious personality and seems like the kind of guy who would tell stories for as long as he had an audience without repeating anything or perhaps even stopping to inhale. The Puerto Rican history stuff is pretty interesting, and Vega’s stories of working in Memphis and places like the Superdome before he had a functional grasp of English are pretty amusing, especially since most of them are a bit later in chronology than the stories from the same places you’re likely to hear on a Steve Austin or Jim Ross interview.

Why you should skip it: Vega’s English pronunciation is just fine, but he’s still not a syntax expert, which can make his stories tough to follow at times. This dynamic exposes Cabana’s weaknesses as an interviewer, as you really have to listen closely to follow Vega jumping around. Also, there is almost zero mention of Vega’s work on WWF television in the mid-to-late-1990s, so if you came here for tales of Los Boricuas or Vega-Austin Caribbean strap matches, you’re definitely leaving disappointed.

Final thoughts: I award Cabana major points for focusing on the more interesting (read: non-New York) parts of Vega’s career. I deduct points for his ability to guide the conversation in any discernible fashion. On balance this is definitely worth a listen, it’s just impossible to ignore the flaws. Vega definitely deserves a platform, I’m just not sure this was the perfect one to maximize his history and charisma. But, you know, it was still fun and, if nothing else, you can certainly say Cabana knows himself and his show after roughly six years of podcasting. That’s not insignificant.

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

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That's what happens when you get involved in your cousin's business...
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Here's where we stood pre-Payback, before we knew who had actually been paid back and who had been issued a disappointing IOU.

Saddest Friendship Break-Up – The League of Nations
Not sad as in, “I am heartbroken to lose the League of Nations;” sad as in, “My god, no one put any thought into this whatsoever.” I mean, I'd LIKE to think that this was all a nod to the historical League of Nations also being a lovely idea in theory but falling far short of its ultimate goals, but I know that's not the case. The break-up came out of absolutely nowhere, with Sheamus, Alberto del Rio, and Rusev arguing throughout their match against Sami Zayn, Cesaro, and Kalisto, eventually leaving Sheamus abandoned to lose the match alone. Then, as if we hadn't got the message, we also had a backstage segment that ended with Sheamus officially declaring the League to be over. I don't buy any of this for one minute, because Rusev would NEVER turn on his friends like that, and him yelling “You walked out on me!” at del Rio was the only sincerely sad part of this.

I hope they all feel terrible about blaming poor Wade Barrett for their losses. I can see them all arriving separately to apologize profusely to him and then they'll all laugh and laugh and laugh about how silly they've been and then they'll re-form as the United Nations of Friendship. Because what the hell else are any of them going to do?

A Tale of Two Matches – Baron Corbin vs. Damien Sandow and Apollo Crews vs. Stardust
We're going to take a little friendship break here to talk about a Thing. Two very similar matches aired on this episode of Smackdown. Both featured recent NXT call-ups, both aforesaid call-ups won in quick and dominant fashion, and both resulted in a loss for a wrestler that I consider criminally underused and underrated. Here's the thing though, until I looked over my notes to write this thing, I completely forgot that Crews versus Stardust happened, and that's a problem.

Now, I don't like Baron Corbin. I think everything about him is ridiculous. There's an episode of The IT Crowd where Roy dresses up as a lone wolf asshole, and “I'm a loner, alright. I'm just a lonely loner on the lonely road. Alone,” is what I hear in my head every time Corbin shows up. But that is a reaction I am having to his character. It's not a positive reaction (or maybe it is. I can't deny that I'm looking forward to mocking this gimmick for however long it lasts), but it's there.

I like Apollo Crews, but right now that's based entirely on NXT goodwill and recognizing that he is good at wrestling. That isn't enough to keep people cheering for him. “Guy who smiles all the time” is not a character. They don't even qualify it with something like, “Apollo Crews has always wanted to be on Smackdown (lol) and he can't stop smiling.” “Guy who loves being on Smackdown” would be streets ahead of “That guy sure smiles a lot.” WHY ARE YOU SMILING, APOLLO CREWS? Give me something to work with.

Also, their mutual losses should lead to Stardust and Damien Sandow realizing how much better they were together and reforming Team Rhodes Scholars.

Best Friends – The New Day
The New Day took over commentary during Enzo Amore and Big Cass' match against Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel. Normally, I would protest poor Byron Saxton being forced to sit on the floor and lectured about it, but the New Day can make even the most heartless acts endearing. They were silly, of course, but they also put over both teams in the ring and the Vaudevillains when they showed up. There's no need to say nice things about the Social Outcasts right now, but they did anyway. And it's so refreshing to have a trio of titleholders downright EXCITED about the competition coming their way. That, in turn, makes the viewers excited. The tag division is so exciting right now, and I can't praise the New Day enough for getting behind the new guys even while they prepare to defend their titles.

Least Wise Friends – The Usos
Oh, Usos. When will you learn? Every time they get involved with Roman Reigns' drama, they just get beaten up a lot. You know who's staying far away from all of this? Dean Ambrose. Ambrose is Reigns' best friend (when the story calls for it, anyway) and he's whiling away his time annoying Chris Jericho and making hilarious reaction faces at Ric Flair's senile ramblings. And that is because Dean Ambrose, despite all prior evidence to the contrary, knows what's up. In this one instance, be like Dean Ambrose, Usos.

I have to say that Luke Gallows shoving AJ Styles out of the way to take a superkick for him earned a lot of points with me. Sacrifices in the name of friendship get me every time. Meanwhile I'm waiting for Maryse to start wreaking vengeance on everyone who attacks the Miz when he hasn't even done anything other than be mildly obnoxious.
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