Will Yoshi Tatsu get a fruit basket on Sept. 20? Photo Credit: WWE.com

Just because all 16 teams have been announced for this year's epic return of King of Trios, the announcements of talent don't have to stop. Two whole other nights need to be filled with action, and the matches for the middle day of the weekend, Saturday September 20, are already rolling in. In addition to the four quarterfinal matches in the actual tournament, the Rey de Voladores, which was missing at the 2012 event, has been announced. Also, two non-tournament, non-RDV matches have been announced, and four first round matches in the actual tourney have been revealed. Some huge names have been dropped, arguably bigger ones than were unveiled as guest stars in said tournament itself.

First order of business is the specifics on Rey de Voladores. For those who are uninitiated to the concept, it is an eight-person mini-tournament consisting of two eliminator matches. These "semifinals" so to speak contain for competitors and are competed elimination style with two in the ring at the same time. Three of the first eight competitors have been announced, all in the same match. The first announced competitor was Tigre Uno. Uno, who worked in Mexico under the name Extreme Tiger, has been a part of TNA for the better part of the calendar year as a part of its X-Division revival. I haven't seen him work personally, but he's drawn favorable reviews from the TNA faithful.

Second up is Shynron, Chikara's Spirit Dragon, and perhaps the most logical entrant into the tournament. He's unattached to any trio to date, and he's got the best high-flying bona fides of the group. My knee-jerk reaction is that he's the favorite to win this match of the three wrestlers announced, but the other entrant should probably be announced first. I'm also not entirely sure that Chikara will use the mini-tournament to crown a native star since the Trios tourney is so loaded with homegrown guys to begin with.

The third guy in is Rich Swann, who is no stranger to the tournament. In 2010, before he became the dynamic force he is today, he competed against Frightmare, Ophidian, and Cheech Hernandez in the second eliminator of the night. He was the first eliminated, but now, he's definitely the biggest of the three names announced. What a difference four years makes, right?

The high-flying mini-tournament isn't the only extracurricular activity happening on the second night of the show. Two huge non-tournament matches have been announced. First up, "Smooth Sailing" Ashley Remington, the dashing yachtist who gave fruit baskets to the fans of Chikara in exchange for their hearts and minds, will face his stiffest challenge yet in Yoshi Tatsu, yes, the same Yoshi Tatsu who was given his walking papers from WWE earlier this year. Tatsu has been working mostly in Florida since his release under the name Yamamoto, which is his real surname. Tatsu was always a critical favorite in WWE despite not being given much of a chance as a character. He pretty much fell victim to WWE's inability to figure out how to constructively book a Japanese wrestler. He and Remington may steal the entire weekend.

The second big match that was just announced yesterday features yet another import from TNA. Rockstar Spud, the flamboyantly wardrobed chief of staff for the Carter Administration, will make his way to Chikara to battle Juan Francisco de Coronado in what is being billed as the "Battle of the Bowties." I'll level with y'all, because I've never seen Spud wrestle, but Coronado is one of those young bucks from the Wrestle Factory who turned out to be really goddamn good in the ring. If Spud can keep up with him, then this match will not only be an amusing spectacle, but also a quality sprint somewhere in the middle of the card.

Also returning on the second night is the all-important Fan Conclave. The Conclave provides a chance for the fans to interact with the various wrestlers, and it usually has games, contests, and plentiful photo ops one might not be able to get during the show proper. It will return at its normal time, the afternoon before the second card. Last year, Kazarian and Christopher Daniels showed up to sell some merchandise and meet with fans before a TNA house show in the area, and I hear TNA will be in the area again this year. Hell, the company's already sending two wrestlers to the event.

Finally, the company has begun to release the first round pairings for the actual trios tournament, because the weekend is named "King of Trios" and not "Rey de Voladores" or "Hey, Look at These Awesome Exhibition Matches!" The first announced pairing pit the Bloc Party - consisting of the Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Mr. Azerbaijan, and Prakash Sabar - against Team UK - Mark Andrews and Damian and Pete Dunne. This match could go either way from my point of view, but I'd probably give the nod to Team UK, just to give the Brits an excuse to wrestle the second night before Andrews and Pete Dunne tackle the usual Tag Gauntlet on Night Three.

Next up, Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy, featuring Kimber Lee, was announced to face off against the Gekido - 17, The Shard, and Jigsaw - in a first round match. If any Flood team was most likely to lose on the first night, it would be the Gekido. Jigsaw and 17 have had some tensions boil over at the Wrestling Is Fun! shows where the former and Shard clashed with the duo of Lance Steel and Jolly Roger. What I'll be looking at mostly here is Lee's involvement. She's been scheduled to wrestle on shows before, but she's always wigged out and had Steel replace her. I understand the story, but Lee could very well be the best independent wrestler working right now. Having her booked in a total character role would be a waste.

The third announced match so far pits The Flood - Eddie Kingston, Jimmy Jacobs, and Volgar - against the Spectral Envoy of UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare. Right off the bat, two favorites to make deep runs in the tournament will clash in the first round. The Envoy won the whole shebang in 2012, which may make them ripe for an upset here. Either way, I would be shocked if this match didn't headline Night One with everything announced.

Finally, the Devastation Corporation was announced to be facing off against Team Extravaganza - Jervis Cottonbelly, Marion Fontaine, and Thunderkitty - in the first round. Sidney Bakabella's bruisers have proclaimed themselves the "top seeds" in the tournament, which implies that the olde-timers are the weakest links in the group. Having them upend the DevCorp in the first round would be a delightful story indeed, but I get the feeling that the resident HOSSES are making a deep run in this thing, if not winning it all.

The weekend is beginning to take shape, and as expected, Chikara is offering a full buffet for the fans who will descend upon Easton for the weekend. While the Trios tournament itself has been mostly centered around the main story narrative, the extracurricular stuff seems to be where the big guest stars are being announced. Chikara seems to be announcing multiple news items each day as well, so each day is filled with the indie wrestling equivalent of #WojBombs.

When watching the WWE, especially the shows of lesser importance, it's paramount to keep in mind that what Stamford does is hold up a fun house mirror to society at large. The surreal is part and parcel of the landscape; you could turn into David Byrne's narrator from "Once In A Lifetime" or Jake Gittes at the end of Chinatown at any moment, full of more questions than answers, some of which may never get resolved to your satisfaction.

That said, this was a really hallucinatory episode of Main Event especially the further along into the show it went. By the end it seemed to somehow be a melange of a Looney Tunes rerun and, improbably, an infomercial for NXT.

It started off as just a simple wrestling show, too. Generic Rock Riff #347 brought out Mr. Money in the Bank, who couldn't even get a word in edgewise for a minute as the crowd reacted as you would expect them to react to Seth Rollins. Given that, Seth then opted to not vary from his prepared remarks at all because screw them, that's why. Bringing a pro graps sheen to the old adage of "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of this world", he played an unfun game of Where Are They Now? with the Shield. Ambrose? M.I.A., curb stomped into a movie r--oblivion. And Roman Reigns? Seth Rollins, like, invented Roman Reigns, you know what he means? And as of yesterday thanks to Kane, Randy Orton, a steel chair and a cage he just got curb stomped for his troubles as well. Even if there was anything left of him at Night Of Champions, Rollins was going to finish destroying what he'd created.

Barely had he put over the brightness of his future than out came Unkie Zeb and deaf-mute White Savior Jack Swagger, The Shame Of A Nation (now his full name after SummerSlam). Colter may've been right about Rollins being opportunistic and a sellout [deleted 26 pages about how this nation was remade with opportunism and land buys if not outright thievery amongst other things from the alleged Puritans], but ROllins was right about his future and after a rocky beginning minute and a half managed to stomp Swagger just the same as he had his former comrades in black. Fortunately for Swagger all he had do was be game and occasionally remember what his shirt tells him to do, as the Hacksaw chant was in full force alongside the usual We The Peopleing. Best of all, ROllins survived the Patriot Lock but sold it like a crippling machine, only to work his way through it and pull off the Stomp even if he had to sell it all the way to the back. This is the sort of thing that happens a) without a corporation backing your every move and b) when you don't BOlieve.

At this point the fissure started to open, as Titus O'Neil and Heath Slater were strategerizing about how to get the wabbit (spelling Titus' and presumably Elmer Fudd's before that). Since his ginger bashing's been costing the Gator matches, a capture should surely lead to a win for Titus over Adam Rose later on in the show, right? Well, presumably. Spoiler alert: They would try to capture the wabbit. Another spoiler alert: They would fail hilariously and the net would end up over Heath and not the hip-hopper. Tertiary spoiler alert: Titus O'Neil would get rolled up by Adam Rose after being run into Heath Slater, who'd just gotten freaking gamengiried by the aforementioned Wabbit when both – things were on the apron. Tinfoil hat alert – The Wabbit is Prince Devitt, isn't it?

It was oddly appropriate that this occurred late in the program, since right beforehand there'd been a Zachrifical lamb offered up to Cesaro. Even in a short sprint Ryder managed to get off the Broski Boot but wound up taking a ride on the Swing before Cesaro wrapped him up in a neat-looking reverse Cloverleaf type of hold to procure the win and send a message to Sheamus. If that leaned too subtle for your liking, you could have Renee interview him after the match, which is what happened. Hell, he even put over Ryder as a former United States Champion and asked Ms. Young "who are you to doubt Zach Ryder?", which, POINTS! before moving on to the business of beating Big Irish come Noche de Campeones.

He's just flat-out better: more educated, more interesting, way better-looking, and better between the ropes. This wasn't just a thing where he knew it, but Young, Sheamus, and even these people did as well. It should also be noted the pop he got for noting the crowd knew it too was a bit more robust than you might expect. And this was all before the Swiss Superman not only referred himself as a King of Swing but a KING OF WRESTLING and the new United States Champion. They could do a brisk upward business in sales for the Network if they kicked it off with a half-hour US Title change next Sunday featuring Sheamus and Cesaro going to the wall and beating the crap out of each other on the way through it, but that's not exactly news to the BCBite, is it?

What was was callup week continuing in the show closer with the Matadores the meat for the grinder that is the NXT Tag Team Champions, the Ascension. It was a little longer than Konor and Viktor were used to going, for whatever reason. Seriously, the Matadores pose about as much a threat to an actual tag team at this point as used face tissue. But while it lasted both Cole and Saxton were talking up the length and the total dominance of the Champions for nearly a year to this point, and even managed to big up Sin Cara and Kalisto in the process. Seeing the very slight change in entrance for them just regalvanized a widely-held suspicion – NXT is the WWE's finishing school. As time goes on they want a character (or characters here) to arrive pretty much fully formed to the big shows after getting their posture straightened and their grammar sharpened metaphorically by the time they put it not only on NXTV but all the work down Full Sail way. While the crowd wasn't exactly familiar with Total Anniyahlation they weren't actively mean-spirited to the guys showcased in advanced of the Network Special, and a ooh-look-at-that buzz did go through the arena when they finished off Fernando or maybe Diego with the Fall Of Man.

For the Ascension, it was the same as it ever was. For SlaterGator, it was not their beautiful house. But time isn't holding us and time isn't after us for nearly $10 a month for six months; it's just another signpost as the WWE starts and stops but never quite makes sense. And that's what makes it so continually intriguing.

Michelle Beadle and Bill Simmons talk some 'rasslin this week (among other things) Photo Credit: Getty Images

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: The B.S. Report
Episode: Sept. 8, 2014
Run Time: 1:17:09
Guest: Michelle Beadle

Summary:“Michelle Beadle joins Bill (Simmons) in studio to talk about her obsession with the WWE, thoughts on Ray Rice, and the importance of on-screen chemistry.” That’s the official episode description — in reality there’s about nine minutes of wrestling talk to open the show, then the WWE gets invoked again around minute 29 in relation to the NFL’s lingering issues with concussions and resulting brain disease.

Quote of the week:“I’ve been in relationships before where I almost had to hide my love of WWE in shame, and now I just wear it proudly.” — Beadle

Why you should listen: You love Michelle Beadle and everything she produces, especially her opinion of Randy Orton’s mic skills. You want to think about Roman Reigns as it relates to an ascendant Ultimate Warrior 25 years ago. You want to learn the identity of the “Let’s go Cena!” child from the SummerSlam audience.

Why you should skip it: Because there’s like ten minutes of wrestling talk in total, and none of it’s interesting. Because it angers you when celebrity “fans” get to sit ringside at major shows. Because you don’t care what the Sports Gal thinks about Simmons’ collection of WWE folding chairs. And you really, really don’t care about Beadle’s boyfriend.

Final thoughts: Both of these folks are legitimate WWE fans (Beadle has more current bona fides but Simmons has started experiencing wrestling through his children, which actually is an underrepresented viewpoint online), but this is by no means a wrestling podcast. If you’re surprised by anything they discuss, you’re not on Twitter. Beadle’s “Cheap Heat” appearance was far superior (she’d actually make a great David Shoemaker co-host) and hopefully once she gets her own Grantland podcast next week, she’ll be able to foster some legitimate WWE discussion. Until then… save your time.

Cherry Bomb is Cabana's guest this week Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Art Of Wrestling
Episode: 215 (Sept. 11, 2014)
Run Time: 59:27
Guest: Cherry Bomb

Summary: Cabana’s guest this week is Canadian wrestler Cherry Bomb. They discuss Bomb’s entry into the world of wrestling fandom in the early 1990s and how she came back to wrestling at the tail end of the Attitude Era. That bleeds into a discussion of how she became a wrestler herself, from her earliest days training in Toronto to trips to Japan and a few dalliances with WWE. The talk ends with a focus on her current career and long-term goals as well as a spot of chatter about her personal life.

Quote of the week:“I think if you have the determination, I think you can get better. I will say it took me years and years to have confidence. It took me years and years to feel like I was even good. Like years. But it definitely was a really big struggle for me. And it’s so funny, because I listen to your podcast, and I hear other wrestlers talking about they’ve watched it, so they knew what a suplex was, knew what an armdrag was. It’s funny, because I watched wrestling for so long, but I never looked at it, I never broke it down move for move.”

Why you should listen: If you came to love wrestling because a beloved family member brought you into the fold, and especially if that person is gone, you’ll appreciate Bomb’s personal story. It’s nice to hear a young wrestler be so frank about her big-picture ambitions while also being candid about her insecurities as a performer — and being sincere in both regards. Plus, she’s a wrestler who happens to be a woman. She doesn’t beat you over the head with fan bona fides, she just has them. And she is expertly aware of the difference between a woman on a wrestling program and an actual wrestler. Not enough fans grasp this distinction still today.

Why you should skip it: If you only tune in to Cabana’s show when there’s a guest with serious name recognition, take a pass this week. It might be a while, if ever, before Cherry Bomb is on your regular wrestling fan radar. Also, don’t expect to have your heart torn in pieces or to think deep thoughts about being a young independent wrestler. The episode description calls it a “relaxing nice talk,” and while that’s wholly accurate, it might not be complimentary.

Final thoughts: Oftentimes Art Of Wrestling is an introduction to up-and-coming performers many fans might not otherwise consider, and for those who still put stock in Colt’s influence, there is something of a star-making effect to such episodes. If nothing else, it helps the WWE-centric fan (raises hand) become more aware about the world beyond RAW and NXT. It’s actually refreshing to not hear a bunch of talk about backstage WWE (of any era), and that makes this week’s show a nice change of pace from the other major podcasts.

The third NXT Network Special may've started off with a snazzy sweet new opening where more than a passing resemblance to ECW was evoked with the black-and-yellow attack jump cutting frequently out of the now-standard WWE opening to the point we never saw forever because NXT was taking over now, but it ended the same way the other two did: with the Jumping Geordie hoisting the Big X in the air with fog firing off into the sky he'd just somersaulted through.

This being merely the most recent in a series of cliffhangers, this brought up a bouquet of questions after one had been answered (yes, Neville can successfully defend his title even without a Champion's advantage and three guys against him). And the primary question?

Who -- if anybody -- is giving in to the dark side?

It's Sami Zayn.

Just looking at that answer seems wrong, doesn't it? Sami Zayn and goodness go together like ice cream and warm days, black pens and crossword puzzles. And yet. And yet there he was again, leaning against the bottom rope again, inches away from making the save that could've kept him alive in the main event. Having failed again in his shot for the belt as he did against Bo Dallas. Having failed on a Special as he did at Takeover I. Having failed as he did against Cesaro way back at ArRIVAL, and the best of three falls match last year before that. (And it should be noted his look of defeat while against the bottom rope, whether consciously or not, immediately called to mind the Cesaro loss in February before he got that redemptive hug.)

Watching for the second he could stand as his friend stood on the middle rope, guns up, belt in hand, another successful defense in hand and the strap to prove it as well. Who could take that much bridesmaiding before a libertarian streak emerged as an oak where a seed had only been before? His friend is The Man. His friend wins every closing special match. His friend, with the belt he needs the way an average human being needs air. And every single day that passes he can't live his dream because his friend is living it. It's easy to smile and say the right things, but sometimes your guts don't feel that way. Sometimes it feels like a slow death from 10,000 paper cuts. And one can only bleed so much before they try to stem it, no?

But let's rethink this. Maybe it's not Sami Zayn.

Maybe it's Adrian Neville.

Hey, he doesn't exactly exude a menacing presence, granted. But have you caught the whiff of douche that's been coming with him in interviews lately? Did you see that pre-match bit? He may say there's a difference between cocky and confidence; if there is and he hasn't gone over it, isn't he creeping up against it? Every time he sits down he mentions he hasn't lost a singles match this year. He mentioned he beat all his challengers individually and now his next challenge was just to beat them all at the same time. (The subtitle was not Adrian Neville v. the World -- they went with the more concise and less legally actionable Fatal 4 Way -- but it might as well have been.) It's about trending worldwide as the highlight of a lackluster RAW because of his gargantuanly flashy finisher when a standard issue Shooting Star is clearly under his purview and probably has equal impact but doesn't relegate his friend Sami to the shadows of the wide spotlight that finisher casts.

Long title reigns turn the hearts of the men that hold them; it's as much a part of pro graps' makeup as makeup is for Tyler Breeze. It's about his willingness to mention his adaptability no matter what kind of match he main events in when the seasonal WWE Network showcase comes calling, having equal success under three different types. Hm...who else on WWE TV lately has been vocally advocating for one's adapativeness as of mass importance over all else? Certainly no else getting cheered.

Maybe neither of them are about to don a black hat, and maybe it was just part and parcel of the environment that had to have a fall to finish so DQs were off the table, even though a world-class wrestling match happened for about half an hour with no cheating involved to that point. No, not even an eye poke. But before that, let's talk about the last 90 seconds since it's what's popping up all these alignment bubbles. Not since last winter was Sami so close to the belt. Not only that, he'd turned the previous opportunism of the match on its head and firmly secured momentum behind him by taking it in his hands by laying out everybody.

Tyson Kidd took the Exploder into the corner. Adrian got toped and the result sent him scattering over the barrier. Tyler became the second victim in Full Sail history to take the suicide DDT. And with all those ducks in a row, Sami damn near took off Tyson's head with a Helluva Kick and went in to end it. About 2.8 seconds in is when Adrian pulled the referee out of the ring, saving his ass and title reign. Some people booed, but it wasn't overwhelming. Some people chanted This Is Awesome, but that wasn't overwhelming. When he justifiably asked the referee why he was on the floor, the zebra turned into a rat. Zayn went to the floor, and once he landed Neville blasted him by what from Breeze's leg would be a supermodelkick. Breeze's actual legs were barely moving -- remember the suicide DDT? -- so Neville ascended quickly before firing off the Red Arrow and finishing another great two hours for NXT.

Of course the main event was awesome. You know this already if you're reading. At its absolute floor it deserves some level of honorable mentioning when the MOTY candidates of 2014 get banded about. The early part featured two separate fights between Neville and Kidd as well as Breeze and Zayn and was disjointed by its very existence while establishing and building off of Takeover The First. Any time logic is obeyed in wrestling, referenced to blatantly or obliquely and is built upon from there deserves hosannas. This then turned into the heels having a brief successful run together and neutralizing the Champion by keeping him out of the ring. About the only thing marring it was the two chinlocks Kidd put on everyone's favorite Syrian-Canadian, even if the ring was clear of opposition both times. Chinlocks in a fatal four way should be like giving a nun a gift card to Victoria's Secret.

Having been denied a showdown earlier you can easily say Act II of the match began when Neville wiped out the heels with a crazy-ass suicide Asai moonsault that stopped a Sami dive from happening and left the crowd chanting and Neville staring at his friend in the ring ready to get it on. Mid-ring, Sami Zayn took off his elbow pads and the crowd reacted like somebody had just gotten slapped. From there, everybody got shine. Everybody got in a few signatures. At any moment it looked like anybody was going to win. When the crowd chanted "this is wrestling!" on multiple occasions it felt as much a statement of what was going on in the ring as what hasn't been so much on Monday and Thursday nights. The action got so crazy Tom Phillips actually said hell, and the end game hadn't even begun yet. Don't be a muggle; watch this match. If you have time, watch it again. You might be able to answer the new $64,000 Question on offer. Granted, it's possible Neville and Zayn are going to remain caught in a rad bromance fiveva and eva. But this is still professional wrestling, about being The Man, and usually the highest rung of Championship belt doesn't lend itself to polyamorous relationships. The current three-way dance between it, the Champion, and the heart and soul of NXT cannot keep sustaining itself; as literature puts it, the center cannot hold. This will almost certainly end up going boom. It's just a matter of who goes against his nature and pulls the pin to get the pin.

Appropriately enough both aspects of the double main event were about plucky underdogs fighting with every bit of spirit they could muster only to get their dreams deferred. About 40 minutes before it happened to Zayn, it happened to Bayley. And you damn straight the Women's Title match was the co-main because this is NXT, the magical Land of Chocolate to Stamford's occasional Sector 7G. In the pre-match segment Bayley talked from the heart, moved to tears about the possibility of realizing her own childhood dream by defeating a great Champion. Seeing the challenger cry probably suddenly filled a few thousand households with dust and/or possible allergies. But the Champion remained unmoved, since she had a legacy to uphold and, clearly high on her own supply, indicated we better learn to love it, like it or not.

And then they got in the ring and kicked out the jams, making the NXT Network Specials 3-3 on high quality women's matches. Even when Charlotte tried to offer an early handshake Bayley went right after her, trying to work herself into position to get the victory and the belt. But in retrospect, this match was mostly Charlotte's party and it's surprising to see how much of Bayley's offense she managed to shut down along the way. Early chops and kneedrops gave way to lengthy figure four headlocks but Bayley kept coming. Knees to the guts early and slaps late didn't deter the challenger, who managed to pull off a sweet top-rope Bayleycanrana but didn't have the wherewithal to get a quick cover in that would've let fruition come to her dream. But when Charlotte countered out of the Belly-to-Bayley it wasn't a good sign; the resultant high-speed schoolgirl into the bottom turnbuckle officially marked blood in the water.

AND YET THOUGH. Bayley kicking out of a successful Charlotte top-rope moonsault should've been the big surprise, but it wasn't. It was Charlotte's look of absolute hatred and enmity being met entirely by one of Bayley's even when she was barely moving and just struggling to maintain balance on her knees. It was the moment when Charlotte realized "holy crap, you're actually a real wrestler" and being met by Bayley's "you either finish me now or I will keep coming". Charlotte quickly snatched her up and gave her a dose of Natural Selection (the former Bow Down to the Queen) to deflate the crowd, but saved Bayley from taking any of Sasha's post-match abuse. You'd have to watch the post-game to even get a glimpse of Charlotte hugging and raising Bay's hand, but she didn't exactly do moonsaults granting a wish for a rematch. The respect is now there. Bayley earned that much for putting up a fight filled with disdain in another step of her own evolution, and Charlotte's rapid in-ring prowess elucidates that from any type of fan watching to the point where liking or her or not is almost irrelevant. She's great at what she does, and looks good doing it, and doesn't hesitate to tell you that she knows it, too, whether it's before, during or after the fact. Maury will not need to get involved; that apple got about .34 an inch away from that family's tree.

In fact, the only switch in Championships came right off the bat, as the newly rechristened Lucha Dragons ended the 49-week, 344-day-long reign of the Ascension with the Sliced Bimbo Numero Tres by Kalisto to Viktor in the center of the ring in a sudden flash in what may have been the biggest upset in NXT history. Sure, Baron Corbin being already in the ring for CJ Parker later on only to destroy him in three moves, get his hand raised and leave about four seconds after his name was called to officially mark his reboot was a big upset, but the Ascension went in one evening from the destroyers of worlds to the victims of three different cruiserweights, which, more on that in a smidge. As for the tag match, it went a lot like the other Ascension matches had over their reign, and for those like Tom Phillips with a long memory, evoked memories of Kalisto being on the losing side of a match against the Konor/Viktor tandem back at Takeover mach 1. Sin Cara took the beating so Kalisto could pop in and play what Byron Saxton so accurately called human pinball, moving so fast he was probably wearing out pause buttons on replays as he was doubling down on the offense in his eventually successful attempt to garner his first taste of WWE gold. It looked like it was going to be Fall O'Man O'Clock yet again but Sin Cara saved his mentee from that fate by taking out the big man, and a counter-into-finisher later, we had nuevos Campeones Parejas del Mundo para NXT. This tied into the biggest non-match thing to happen, the debut of KENTA in the WWE.

Admittedly, when William Regal and Hulk Hogan (via pre-segment video) are putting over anybody before trotting them out in front of the Full Sailors, it's a bit of preaching to the choir. But the reach is further than the grasp and that work got over this dude from Japan is something special even before he came out glad to realize a dream of his own and even with halting English greeted the crowd in their native language before switching over back-and-forth between the two and almost serving as his own translator. Hey, it works for the Champs, it'll work for this bad-ass kicking machine, yeah? So he's changing his name to Hideo Itami now, but everybody knows and the elephant in the room is just the large pachyderm over by the beanbag chair. Not only that, they cut off any possible backlash at the pass by presenting it as his decision on his rebirth and North American debut rather than "argle bargle corporate argle bargle ruining everything" (and for those who think that reaction is out of place or hyperbolically mocking the lowest common Internet fan denominator, go look back and search engine some combination of the words 'El Generico', 'without mask', 'wtf', 'sami zayn?' and 'ruined' from about mid 2012).

No sooner had he announced that he wanted to be NXT Champion to great applause than the angry ex-Champs stomped down and cleared him from the ring. Regal looked irate as Konor demanded their rematch, but he couldn't even finish the sentence before Hideo was back in the ring and taking off his suit jacket. As anybody who remembers William Regal a decade ago knows, when a man is taking the time to remove his suit jacket before commencing his offensive, you done fucked up and fucked up and fucked up is what you're gonna be. As anybody who remembers certain glory days of the Simpsons knows, when the little Japanese guy is about to do some ass-kicking in a suit you damn sure want to see it. The Ascension failed at both of these, and as such at life. (How they kept the belts for 49 weeks with these lacunae is getting increasingly hard to explain.) Greatly succeeding was the renamed Itami, who immediately gave Viktor a legitimate boot to the face, Roaring Elbowed Konor out of the ring, and high kicked Viktor down to send him scurrying before a split-legged dropkick ran off the darkness for good. To boot, he quickly ambled out of the ring and grabbed a steel chair...only to sit down in it and do the international hand gestures for bring it on. Regal kinda-sorta hiding his face and chuckling about this was #3 And Almost The Best; the crowd ohhhhhhhhhhhhhing loudly as if he'd just bitchslapped them both with the same blow was #1 and The Best. You could almost hear all three announcers biting back on the expletives, and rightfully so. His in-ring debut in a few days should literally and figuratively kick out the jams.

Even the undercard stuff clicked here. Again, NXT is magic like friendship. That Bull went Bull in destroying Mojo Rawley, and for that he is now off of the Eddie Princeton joke-name probation. Winning in under 180 seconds would've done it. Finishing with a top-rope headbutt would've as well. A post-match one too for gits and shiggles also would've sufficed. All of them in under five minutes and busting the Hype Man open hardway? You, sir, win at more than the match. If they want to do this exactly again as a rematch, well, who besides Rawley would say no? And Enzo got a measure of revenge by pinning Sylvestor Lefort, but it was Marcus Louis who ended up with three small patches of hair and no eyebrows. We've established the cream works, but why the stooge's stooge took the punishment is a bit baffling unless they're continuing on from Enzo pulling the tights for at least part of the pinfall victory. Per usual, the fun of Amore and Cassady is not seeing them in-ring but the almost symbiotic nature they have with the crowd and the genuine laughs Cass can get for some of his one-off lines that aren't incorporated into their now-standard introductions.

It's simple math whether you're putting in microwork looking at Enzo's continued run towatds the big time or macrowork looking at the big time and trying to figure out and/or predict when the ebbs and flows are going to come. But while WWE may be a variable, to the hardcore fan NXT is a constant. Constantly evolving, constantly putting on matches worth watching and rewatching, and constantly adding more quality to an already deep roster and putting in more bang for your ten bucks.

You know, Christmas is on a Thursday this year, and if this Triple H fellow is really into old school and NXT being almost like its own brand...but maybe that's just Red-Arrow-in-the-sky dreaming. NXT'll do that to you, though, and this is just another pole putting up it winning the back-to-back weekly show of the year tent.

Beer Money was as good a foil for the Guns as any Photo Credit: Lee South/Impact Wrestling.com

There have been many tag teams that seemed to be perfectly built to face each other. Sometimes they faced each other only once (The Steiner Brothers vs Bret Hart and Owen Hart) and sometimes they faced each other all the time. The match you see below, in stunningly clear video, is an example of that latter case. This is MCMG Monday, of course, so the footwork and fluid double-teams of Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin should be noticed here. But take a minute and watch Beer Money. Their job here is to be the heavies, the bruisers and tough guys who are supposed to be out of their element in a match not built for them.

And they do a great job at it. This Best of Five series, and the simplicity that girds it, is maybe the best wrestling TV TNA ever did. Not because it's loaded with anti-heroes and guys you don't want to like, but because of that simplicity that I mentioned. The Guns are the champions who won their title in a way that is not undisputed. Beer Money disputes it and so we have this series to try and determine undisputed champions. It's a simple story that, when told right as this was, is classic wrestling that can be done all the time. Watch the first match, because it's a set up for everything that comes after and it shows you who both teams are, instead of telling you.

Beer Money vs Motorcity Machine Guns (Best of 5 Series - Match 1) from Jorge Rebelo on Vimeo.

The announcers'"WIMMINZ BE KRAZY AMIRITE?" shtick is taking away from a great feud Photo Credit: WWE.com

Smackdown was pretty fun this week, with a bunch of tag matches and no monologues or verbal confrontations to start the show. There were still a couple low points, of course, but for the most part is was nice to feel like I finally have “my” Smackdown back.

Weirdest Friendship—The Dust Brothers and the Wyatt Family 
Goldust and Stardust teamed up with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan to take on the Usos, Big Show, and Mark Henry. The match was a fun way to open the show, but it was very strange to see the Dust Bros. with the Wyatts. I'm not even completely sure how I feel about it. On one hand, the Wyatts have kind of been the ultimate evil in the tag division for a while and no one should really team up with them if they can help it, particularly not usually beloved figures like Goldust and Stardust. On the other hand, it makes sense that the Dust Bros.' admitted single-mindedness regarding their pursuit of the tag titles could cause them to form less than savoury alliances. And maybe they were just drawn to the Wyatts' own special brand of weirdness. Who knows? The important part is that I enjoyed the match. I can work out this puzzling potential friendship at a later date. \

Deserves a Friend—Justin Gabriel
Justin Gabriel popped in to have a match against Bo Dallas. It was nice to see Gabriel again, and he certainly put a ton of effort into the match, which was over relatively quickly, but had a fast, hard-hitting pace. It might be nice to see Gabriel a bit more often, whether solo or as part of a team. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter were present at ringside, but they pretty much ignored Gabriel, and I wouldn't want him to hang with them anyway. Speaking of the Real Americans, what, exactly, is their deal with Bo Dallas? Does Jack Swagger want to be “America's Sweetheart?” I know Dallas has been disparaging Swagger for his failures, but here the Real Americans just came off as petty and out of touch (nice stumble over the Ariana Grande reference, Zeb. Way to speak the kids' lingo). I'd much rather see Justin Gabriel develop some kind of conflict of his own with Bo Dallas than continue the farce that is the Real Americans being pushed as faces.

Best Friends—Summer Rae and Layla
I was so happy to see Summer Rae and Layla again, and to see that their friendship still appears to be very healthy. I was also looking forward to Summer's match against Paige, which was fine, though over far too quickly. Of course, what women's match would be complete without rage-inducing commentary? AJ Lee was once again on guest commentary and JBL and Michael Cole, the two chucklefucks (I'm giving Tom Phillips a pass because I don't think I heard him say much), were straining so hard to provoke her that I thought one of them was sure to do himself an injury. They went on and on about how Lee and Paige kissing the championship on Raw was “creepy,” even though we've seen plenty of men kiss their championships as well. Lee referred to the Championship as her baby, which she was trying to get back from Paige, and Cole adopted this fucking terrible super concerned, hushed tone as he commented that it's weird that she thinks of the title as her baby. He was talking to her as though she LITERALLY thinks that the belt is her child, because they have to hammer home the thought that AJ Lee is “crazy,” even though the commentators are the ones who look like fucking idiots because they can't tell when someone is using a metaphor.

Then when Lee quite rightly just ignored them and silently watched the match, Cole kept needling her, remarking that she goes through so many mood changes in five minutes. Just....what are you even talking about you horrible, horrible man?!? Finally, when Paige made Summer tap to the Black Widow, and Lee promptly took out Layla with the Paige Turner, the only comment was that “This is the strangest, weirdest thing.” Yeah, because using your enemy's signature move as a means to taunt and rattle them is something that never happens in wrestling EVER. What are these wacky women even doing? They are so craaaaaaaazy. Fuck off.

Something Friendship Something—Mark Henry and Rusev
Mark Henry and Rusev had an arm wrestling contest and I did not pay attention. Like, at all. My brother and I started talking about what type of Pokemon various wrestlers would favour. Look, I love Mark Henry and I like Rusev and I am excited to see them wrestle, but the combination of patriotism and arm wrestling was way too much for me. Sooo, think of your favourite friendship related thing and pretend that it took place during this segment.

Most Unexpected Friendship—Dolph Ziggler and R-Truth
For his match against the Miz and Damien Sandow, Dolph Ziggler trotted out his own stunt-double, who turned out to be R-Truth. I did not want to be charmed (Ziggler has been ranking high on my Enemies of Friendship list for a while), but, damn it, I was thoroughly charmed. The ensuing match was super enjoyable and Truth appeared to have a ball as Ziggler's double. I'd love to see more of their adventures together.

Probably Won't Remain Friends—Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns or Randy Orton and Seth Rollins
Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns teamed up to take on Randy Orton and Seth Rollins, in yet another excellent tag match that closed the show. However, it's unlikely that any of these alliances are going to last. As we know by now, Roman Reigns doesn't even know what friendship is, and he and Jericho didn't really seem to connect at all. Orton and Rollins are both in with the Authority, but we've seen them butt heads in the past and, as I've posited before, Rollins appears to be gelling far more with Kane. However their future relationships pan out, I'm just grateful that I once again felt pleasantly satisfied after Smackdown ended.

MOOD LIGHTING capped off a strong episode Photo Credit: WWE.com

Superstars this week was pretty great, as was RAW. It’s amazing how good the product can be when some effort is put into it. WHAT A NOVEL IDEA!

Our first match of the evening was Naomi vs. Summer Rae with Layla accompanying her to the ring. You really have to love the state of women’s wrestling in the E right now, and I feel it can only get better. Here we have to women who can actually wrestle. Who cares what their background was? They can go, and WWE is letting them go. AWESOME. I could have done without the distractions from Layla, but other than that and a few weird looking moves, I really liked this match. Naomi won with a roll up to a bridging pin after taking advantage of a distraction from Layla on the apron.

More, please.

Second match of the evening was a rematch from last week. Sin Cara took on Justin Gabriel. I wasn’t really about the match from last week. I had some high hopes for that one and it was kind of lame. This week’s was much better. The story they told in the match was great. Gabriel spent the match either trying to out power Sin Cara or to match him with the high flying they are both so good at. Gabriel tried to keep Sin Cara grounded for the beginning of the match, but Sin Cara fought out of it and got his offense going.

This match flowed better than last week. They had the feel of each other, and it just clicked. Gabriel got the win after a 450 splash. Sin Cara was crazy far from Gabriel’s corner, but somehow Gabriel still managed to get there. I was really impressed. Good stuff. Bravo on the matches this week, Superstars. All I could have used was maybe a little back stage scene. Everything else was great.

The Magician's Recaps

Like I said above, RAW was pretty great this week. Seriously, effort is a good thing. WWE should put some effort in every week. Which you think it would, because if you’re putting on great shows every week, you’re getting those precious casual fans watching again. Then again, what the hell do I know?

Anyway, the recaps this week started out with Chris Jericho and Bray Wyatt in a steel cage. The shrug before Jericho jumps from the top of the cage makes me love him all the more. I think that speaks to why people are totally cool with Jericho coming back for these runs. When the Rock and Batista came back, there’s no where they were going to do something like that for our entertainment. Jericho does it for the love of the game, and that’s why he’s great. I just hope he didn’t destroy his knee on the way down.

We then segue into the Bella Twins with that Jerry Springer business. Does the WWE’s target audience of children even know who Jerry Springer is? How pointless was he here? And where the hell was Steve Wilkos? I’m fine with this feud, but Springer added nothing to it.

But you want to talk about adding something to a feud, that Paul Heyman and John Cena promo was outstanding. It’s that "embrace the hate" angle done right, because Heyman is basically the Emperor. This works coming from Heyman rather than Kane because Heyman’s got some credibility as an advocate. What he does works. He’s the one behind the 21-and-one. Heyman knows how to win. Cena spelling out his case works here too. He likes who he is, so why should he change? I appreciate that. Giving Cena’s character some depth is never going to be a bad thing. I did think Cena was going to clock Heyman at the end, so it was pleasantly surprising when he didn’t . Not that Heyman shouldn’t get decked once in a while, but that shouldn’t be the goal. Incidental contact works fine, thanks.

Our final recap of the night was the Randy Orton/Roman Reigns match. The most memorable thing from this was Seth Rollins almost being impaled on live, national television. This was terrifying. Please don’t get impaled, Rollins. That would not be best for business. Reigns showed signs here of being a normal babyface and not the hulking, Cena-like, impossible-to-beat WWE hero that we all fear he will become. He showed some smarts by tossing Rollins and Kane out before the cage came down so he could have Orton all to himself. More importantly, he caught a beating here and looks human and vulnerable. EVERYBODY takes a beating sometimes, and Roman took it like a champ here. Vulnerability isn’t a bad thing. It lets the audience identify with him, and allows the heels to look like they can actual do something without getting murked. Keep showing Reigns’ vulnerability, and you won’t have people turning against him like they did with Cena.

Random Thoughts

• How was Sin Cara here and winning the tag titles on NXT on the same night? HE'S A WITCH!!!
• During the Sin Cara/Gabriel match, the commentators kept saying that Sin Cara was a veteran over Gabriel when Gabriel's been in the company longer. Weird.
• I didn't realize Rollins almost died until after the show. That was WAY TOO CLOSE!
• I'm hoping that WWE keeps up the momentum with another solid show this week to combat Monday Night Football. I'm feeling a bit done with the league, but I always watch wrestling over football anyway. I would appreciate Raws where they are actively trying to pull eyes from the NFL, though. They stand no chance against it, but the effort would be appreciated.

Cena should be able to give Heyman some justice without threatening bodily harm against him Photo Credit: WWE.com

Last week on RAW, John Cena laid an ultimatum to Brock Lesnar's advocate, Paul Heyman. He demanded that the WWE World Heavyweight Champion show up to the show tonight or else Cena would render physical harm to the rotund mouthpiece. The promise comes from the standard operating procedure for any pro wrestling babyface dealing with any kind of non-player-character proxy. Basically, from the Grand Wizard to Bobby Heenan, James E. Cornette to Scarlett Bordeaux, fans seem to love seeing the brawny hero manhandle a managerial type, usually one whom the presumptuous attacker has at least 100 pounds on. Being a bully is seemingly part and parcel with wearing a white hat in wrestling parlance, which is funny given WWE's past (and present?) partnership with the B.A. Star Alliance.

WWE talking out of both sides of its mouth is rarely anything new, but to be honest, the company has been stringent in telling people that what happens on the screen should not be emulated at home. That message refers more to the moves rather than the stories, but no matter what the social criticisms are of what happens on screen, the defense always goes back to WWE being stage, and people knowing that what goes on television, while right in a roundabout way, is not how society should be carried out. Then again, as more and more examples of bullying come out, both by people within and outside the wrestling industry, the reactions in defense of the bullies suggests that society has a long way to go before the idea that the strong shouldn't exert force over the weak will take hold.

Granted, the worst press has come from the National Football League. Whether the spate of spousal abuse cases or the sickening story of Adrian Peterson hitting a four-year-old child with a tree branch, pro football has an image problem. However, the recent passing of Sean O'Haire shed a renewed light wrestlers being charged with domestic violence. O'Haire, Steve Austin, Scott Hall, Necro Butcher, and Chyna are the most notable cases within the last 15 years. Furthermore, Jimmy Snuka still has not been cleared in Nancy Argentino's death, which is the all-too-common, most extreme and tragic end to domestic abuse. Yet, in nearly every case, the abuser has had far too much support than I find comfortable.

In nearly every case of domestic violence, whether towards a spouse or child, the amount of victim blaming that more often than not has a tinge of misogyny or racism to it comes bellowing forth. "Well, Janay Rice spat on Ray, so she deserved it.""Oh, Peterson was just disciplining his child.""If these women don't leave their abusers, then it's their fault for staying and receiving the beatings.""Oh, Argentino shouldn't have trusted Snuka, he is a savage, you know.""A woman beating a man? HAHA, what a pussy!"

What do those cases and those reactions have in common with the innocuous-in-comparison bullying that goes on from the good guys to the bad guys? Those excuses are way too easily transposed onto those cases of bullying, and thus make the crowd more inured to the idea that common malfeasance can and should be met with excessive force. Even in cases where NPCs get physical, like how Sensational Sherri used to attack the Macho King's opponents, is cold-cocking her really an appropriate response? In the eye-for-an-eye world of pro wrestling and without using any context, sure, but then again, walloping, say, an interfering Ted DiBiase might make sense. He's a proven wrestler who can defend himself. But Sherri? She was 100 pounds soaking wet. For someone like Hulk Hogan or Ultimate Warrior to hit her like they would DiBiase would threaten her life.

In some cases, Sherri would take the full brunt of a move, but in some cases, the good guy would show restraint, which is the truest mark of a babyface. A competitor who shows mercy to a completely defeated or overmatched opponent, even when they don't have to, shows the most honor in a story term, but it is the bare minimum required in a legal sense. To take it even further, most martial arts disciplines emphasize defense instead of offense, and for conflict dissipation to be the first step. Obviously, wrestling would be boring with diplomacy as the first option for all conflicts, but the rest of the stuff applies.

If wrestling were presented as a faux-sport in the vein of boxing or NASCAR, and wrestlers were presented as cults of personality with their own groups of fans. However, traditional wrestling, which apparently WWE still purveys, is a morality play, embedded in its terminology. Babyfaces are the good guys; heels are the baddies. If WWE is going to have good guys, shouldn't they be good? Shouldn't WWE enable responsible, emulatable behavior and not shitty, regressive attitudes?

Sure, WWE doesn't have to put on a socially responsible product - it is entertainment, after all - but more and more, entertainment outlets are being held to higher standards. Honestly, anything from which the people can derive joy should look to raise up the oppressed, the weak, and the downtrodden rather than continue ideals that perpetuate the barbaric "might equals right" status quo. That statement might seem silly in an entertainment medium based on people staging worked fights to resolve differences. However, making violence the centerpiece of entertainment can be done in an acceptable manner. Cena throwing hands with Lesnar absolutely belongs in that spectrum. Cena manhandling Heyman? Well, that action would be one way of turning someone with right intentions into a villain.

Weasels like Heyman can and should get comeuppance in ways that don't involve them getting beaten within inches of their lives. Wrestling companies, whether global like WWE or local, should start practicing better ways fulfilling retribution against their transgressions rather than bullying them.

Thanks, Tony!

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Mo'Ne Davis (Last Week: 1) - Okay, she didn't really do anything newsworthy this week, but after the shitty week the world has had, it needs a reminder that somewhere out there, awesome folk like Davis exist.

2. Tony Schiavone (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Surge is coming back, and I'd like to think Schiavone was working hard behind the scenes to make it happen. Sure, he can't promote it on a wrestling show anymore, but if you're a fan of the Gwinnett Braves, then maybe he'll start making promotional consideration for the soda during minor league baseball games. Hopefully, he won't talk about the nWo while Atlanta prospects are at the dish.

3. Paige (Last Week: 6) - Sweet Saraya's baby girl seems to be taking the lead in this whole psychological warfare thing between her and AJ Lee. I hope Lee isn't baiting her into the killshot; I want to see this continue in perpetuity.

4. AJ Lee (Last Week: 3) - Still though, watching Lee play cat and mouse with the youthful Paige is masterful.

5. Clam Strips (Last Week: Not Ranked)OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - While clam chowder is God's gift to the world of soup, the bivalve is also great cut up and fried crisp. As with most seafood, squeeze some lemon on it for MAXIMUM FLAVOR.

6. Mark Henry (Last Week: 4) - Mark Henry so America that whenever he gives a World's Strongest Slam, everyone in al-Qaeda feels it.

7. Trent? (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The former Trent Barretta, despite rolling on a bad wheel, defeated Orange Cassidy for the 24/7 Hardcore Championship. I don't know about you, but he's got my vote for Inspirational Wrestler of the Year. APTER, GET OVER HERE AND COUNT MY BALLOT.

8. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 8) - Current plans have him now coming back after taking the Super Soldier Serum, but Triple H nixed it because he was afraid of how big the beard would get.

9. Scotland (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Scotland is voting on its independence this week. If you don't think national independence is cool, then you don't think George Washington is cool. Or Benjamin Franklin. Or ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

...of course Lincoln didn't fight a war of independence. I'm just seeing if you're paying attention.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She is the only one allowed to get excited over pumpkin spice stuff because she can kick all our asses.

Odd to see this on a show right before they wrestle again Photo Credit: WWE.com

Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are wrestling on Sunday, and yet they wrestled to a clean finish on RAW. Brock Lesnar's big appearance came at the beginning of the 10:00 hour. The show closed with an unproven newish heel going up against an old guard guy whose sell-by date may have already expired (as much as it pains me to write that about Mark Henry). Even on episodes worse than tonight's (and tonight's was bad, don't get me wrong), a theme rises to the surface. This show, however, felt disjointed, a manifestation of every rumor about how chaotic the backstage environment is on Mondays before the show goes to air.

The last half-hour of the show drove home that mish-mashy feeling, but then again, any good wrestling show gets hammered home by its conclusion. No sequence of events could exemplify how disjointed the show was then by going from giving away a clean victory in a match that's going to happen again in six days to a Wrestling Classic-style pay-per-view card rundown into a rally for America that usually would be buried somewhere in the middle of the show. Maybe the dismal nature of the show was blunted a bit by the weirdness of its events. Well, that and by an excellent trios match followed by a surprising John Cena/Paul Heyman flipping of the script.

Sure, everything made sense when compartmentalized, in a contextual vacuum so to speak. WWE may not really be competing with Monday Night Football, but it still does have audience overlap, and with the Eagles and Colts playing a hot week two matchup, the company had to go with its strongest pairing in Cena, Lesnar, and Heyman, when the game was at a lull. Rollins has been a controversy magnet on his pay-per-view appearances as of late, and losing clean to Reigns on television may have been a sign that he's going to be part of a reason to watch the special events on the Network that isn't tied to match quality. As for Alexander Rusev and Henry, even if Cena is still a tour de force, WWE clearly is looking for more of a supporting cast. The roster is in flux, and Rusev getting a look in the final segment of the show makes as much sense as anyone else.

Still, the ordering of things and the lack of a centralized theme other than "entropy" hit me for a loop. Then again, being predictable all the time is a curse in and of itself. I'm perfectly fine admitting that I didn't "get" what WWE was trying to do with this show, if it was trying to do anything at all that wasn't just throwing shit to the wall. Then again, maybe this format is a sign of things to come. The Network, no matter how bumpily it's started out so far, still changes everything. Maybe the idea of show flow or rise and ebb in storytelling is transforming before the eyes of the audience. If that situation is the case, the process is still very much a work in progress, but sometimes, renovations aren't that easy.

Daivari was a guest on a Slate podcast last week Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Slate’s The Gist
Episode:“Did You See Obama Pull a John Wayne?” Sept. 11, 2014
Run Time: 29:48
Guest: Josh King of PoliOptics (at 3:24), Shawn Daivari (14:18)

Summary: If you’re not a regular listener of Mike Pesca’s The Gist, a newer player in the podcast game that instantly became one of my favorites, the format is the same every day (monologue, guest, other guest, closing rant, credits). However, Pesca — who I came to know via Slate’s sports podcast Hang Up and Listen, but who before that had a distinguished NPR career — possesses such vast range and breadth of knowledge that any of those segments can be anything from gravely serious to sublimely absurd. The Daivari interview specifically is about how his Arab heritage changed the direction of his wrestling career vis-à-vis Sept. 11, 2001, with a little bit of talk about his path to the profession.

Quote of the week:“…any foreigner who was just hated because he was a foreigner. I think ’99 when I started, that was kind of passé. There was no more thinking of that, it was like ‘80s wrestling. We thought we were cutting edge, we were like the new reality TV, we were like the early 2000s wrestling. But yeah, as soon as 9/11 happened, every promoter was begging me, like, ‘Oh, can you wear a turban, can you wear these genie pants and the pointy-toed boots and come out to that sitar music?’ and all that crap.”

Why you should listen: With new episodes five days a week, each Gist episode lasts no more than 30 minutes. It is the voice of Pesca, not Slate, and it will make you think and challenge your perceptions about how the world works. With regards to wrestling, the seven-minute chat with Daivari is something of an Art Of Wrestling show at hyperspeed — and that’s a good thing. Pesca treats wrestling with respect and wastes little time worrying if his audience does the same. His questions are insightful, Daivari is up to the challenge of speaking to a skilled reporter and you begin to wonder why it takes guys like Colt Cabana and Jim Ross 60 to 90 minutes to elicit anything of depth from their subjects, if they can at all, especially given the advantages they should have based on common experiences and backgrounds.

Why you should skip it: With all that said, chances are most wrestling fans know Daivari’s story. He doesn’t really get to add anything new to the narrative, so unless you listen to the entire show (which includes a fascinating breakdown of how presidential speeches are staged for television and also a damning conviction of Roger Goodell in regards to football players and domestic violence), you’re not actually gaining knowledge.

Final thoughts: Perhaps I just wrote this post as a chance to evangelize for The Gist. So sue me (it’s what any WWE babyface would do). But beyond that, this quick segment is an exercise in thinking about podcasts, interviewing and journalism. We don’t have any right to demand more from the podcasters who put their shows out for free, but we do have the ability to weigh the value of our own time vs. the entertainment and information a typical podcast delivers. If anyone listens to this, I would hope it’s the team at Podcast One. That outfit has distribution and promotion down to a science, but it is leaps and bounds behind Slate with regards to production, direction and professionalism.

The Batiri will be there in the Tag Gauntlet Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

King of Trios starts THIS WEEK guys, and so the final announced details are beginning to rush in like blood getting off the elevator at the Overlook Hotel. The final first round matches have been announced, more Rey de Voladores competitors have been named, and a night three staple has officially landed. Of course, the odds and ends that are trickling forward are tasty as well. All in all, this weekend is looking like one of the most loaded of the year on paper.

Of course, the main event of the weekend is the trios tournament, and the complete slate of first round matches have been set. As a refresher, the first half of the bracket looks a little like this: Team UK vs. the Bloc Party, Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy vs. the Gekido, The Flood vs. The Spectral Envoy, Devastation Corporation vs. Team Extravaganza. First on the slate for this half of matches is another battle between Chikara and The Flood, as 3Peck0 will face the unholy fusion of the BDK and Dr. Cube. Much like the Flood/Envoy match, this clash is a potential main event for night one. Ares has won the tournament before alongside Claudio Castagnoli and Tursas, and Archibald Peck and 3.0 are three of the major actors behind the rebirth of the company.

The next match is a surprising announcement. I thought the blood feud between the Colony and their military knockoff counterparts would happen later on in the tournament, but Silver Ant, Fire Ant, and Worker Ant will meet Orbit Adventure Ant, Arctic Rescue Ant, and Missile (!) Assault (!) Ant (!) in the first round. The X-Treme Force won the first battle in their war at You Only Live Twice, but this first round match doesn't seem to have finality. I would expect an early exit for the 2011 Champions setting up one final match at the season finale.

The third announced match on this docket is another potential main event just given on the caliber of names involved. On one side of the ring stand the Golden Trio, Grand Champion Icarus and Los Campeones de Parejas Dasher Hatfield and Mark "Mr. Touchdown" Angelosetti. The team of LAX - Homicide, Hernandez, and Chavo Guerrero - will be on the other side. While this match doesn't have the gravitas of other potential main events, it stands as the one so far with the most star power. Night one has traditionally ended with a match like this in other years. In 2009, the UnStable took on Al Snow, Glacier, and D'Lo Brown. 2010 saw the young bucks of The Future Is Now against a team with the actual Young Bucks on it (and Malachi Jackson). In 2011, team Michinoku Pro battled Team Minnesota, featuring Sean Waltman, and in 2012, ECW beat the WWE in the final match of the first day.

Finally, the first announced trio, the Spirit Squad, receive their dance partners in Kizarny and his Odditorium. The Squad, despite arriving into the tourney with much fanfare, are definitely a comic relief team, and Sinn Bodhi's group is the "funniest" portion of The Flood. I'm not saying this match won't be good, but it could definitely end up being the comic relief of the night. Of course, every show needs comic relief, no matter what dudes like Lance Storm say.

With the first night's action set, it's time to concentrate on nights two and three, specifically the ancillary features. Rey de Voladores, which already has Tigre Uno, Rich Swann, and Shynron announced, filled out the first eliminator and added a huge first name to the second match. The final competitor in the first eliminator match is Chuck Taylor. The Kentucky Gentleman won the first ever Rey de Voladores title in 2007, back before it was a part of King of Trios. Taylor usually is embedded in the tournament, but since Team FIST has seemingly disbanded, he needs SOMETHING to do. A King of Trios weekend without Taylor is like a burger without cheese. Sure, it's still worth eating, but it just isn't the same.

The first name for the second eliminator is another import from TNA's X-Division. Seiya Sanada will be joining fellow TNA coworkers Tigre Uno and Rockstar Spud at the extravaganza as the fifth overall name announced for the King of Flyers mini-tourney. Much like with Uno and Spud, I don't know too much about the former X-Division Champion. However, he comes highly regarded by fans of both TNA and his home promotion in Japan, Keiji Mutoh's Wrestle-1.

The Trios tourney, RDV, and the announced-Fan Conclave aren't the only annual traditions associated with the weekend. Night three usually contains a massive, ten-team tag gauntlet, and this year will be no different. The gauntlet was officially announced, and the first team in is The Batiri. Obariyon and Kodama will anchor this year's gauntlet, as their entry into King of Trios was scuttled at You Only Live Twice when Deucalion made Kobald his first victim. I would be shocked if the entire slate was announced beforehand, because so many of the other entrants consist of eliminated wrestlers, but the demons are a good start.

A group that I thought would be part of the gauntlet, The Submission Squad, was also announced, although their fate will be in a relevos atomicos. Their opponents have yet to be announced, which signifies a possible battle between Squads. Obviously, Dolph Ziggler ain't walking through the doors of the Easton Funplex, but Nick "Mitch" Mitchell or even Ziggler's brother, Ryan "Briley Pierce" Nemeth could be the fourth member of a hypothetical Spirit Squad team. Then again, Gary the Barn Owl, Evan Gelistico, Davey Vega, and Pierre Abernathy were the first four wrestlers to lead the charge at National Pro Wrestling Day to bring the company back. I wouldn't be surprised to see them take on a quartet from The Flood. Either way, having the Submission Squad as part of King of Trios weekend is awesome.

Finally, Waltman made the announcement on Twitter that he will be present in Easton for the entire weekend like he was for the last two Trios tournaments. However, he ostensibly won't be there to wrestle; rather, he'll be in the Commentation Station. I know Waltman is a polarizing figure in the Chikaraverse, and I admit that I can do without the "Randy the Ram speeches" (™Brandon Stroud). However, I think it's both surreal and cool that he seems to have a lasting association with Chikara. In a different time and place, he could have lit up a Chikara ring on a regular basis.

This weekend is shaping up to be something special and huge, on the same scale as prior Trios tournaments even. The final bits of news coming in ought to round out what may be the best wrestling weekend of the year.

Wyatt was a guest on the most recent show Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Cheap Heat
Episode: Sept. 11, 2014
Run Time: 1:13:07
Guest: Andrew Goldstein, Bray Wyatt (at 58:23)

Summary: The guys talk with frequent guest Goldstein for about 45 minutes, starting with the death of Sean O’Haire, which rolls into a discussion about the end of WCW. They also touch on the CM Punk lawsuit They also talk about the ongoing Bella Twin and John Cena-Brock Lesnar stories. They next segment is listener email, followed by a pre-recorded 11-minute interview between Peter Rosenberg and Bray Wyatt.

Quote of the week: Wyatt: “I think I was born to be something else. I never was normal, I was always special, there was always something different about me. I always stuck out of the crowd. I was not the biggest, but there was just something different about me. Legacies? I don’t really care much for legacies. I’m not the type of person that hangs his hat on where I came from or who I’m supposed to be. I just move forward, man, and I’ve got my own mindset. I’m invulnerable. I’m invulnerable as long as I’m walking straight.”

Why you should listen: If you really need more thoughts about the Bella Twins story and the Cena-Lesnar feud, and if you think wrestling was better when booking wasn’t so pointlessly convoluted, the first chunk of the show is totally for you. Also, if you haven’t heard Bray Wyatt interviewed outside official WWE channels, well, that is a thing that happens here.

Why you should skip it: When RAW is bad, discussion about RAW tends to be not great as well. Such is the case here, a dead horse I feel we’ve been beating since right after SummerSlam. The reader question section freshens up the show a bit, but Rosenberg’s heel shtick dampens the fun. As for the Wyatt interview, it would be nice if Rosenberg could decide whether he wanted to interview Bray Wyatt or Windham Rotunda. Trying to do both doesn’t work, at least not in his hands.

Final thoughts: Goldstein has something to offer as a former WWE creative team employee, but the end result of his appearance is wishing he and Shoemaker were co-hosts instead. Having a third man in the booth reduces Shoemaker’s presence this week, which is the exact opposite of why I listen to this show. Maybe check the Wyatt stuff if you like, but the audio quality and his accent are a bad mix.

Austin was on location for ep. 150 Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show Unleashed!
Episode: 150
Run Time: 1:18:05
Guest: None

Summary: Steve is on location in Georgia shooting the next season of Redneck Island. He’s having a heck of a time getting an Internet connection, and also it can be a challenge getting to a bathroom in time. After several monologues, he answers some reader email questions then gives a match of the week suggestion that’s actually more of a YouTube highlight reel.

Quote of the week:“And I looked at my wife, and I said, ‘Hell no, I ain’t wearing no motherfucking Spanx. If the word on the street got out that global icon and a national treasure, America’s favorite beer drinker, one bad motherfucker, walking down the street hosting Redneck Island, the toughest show on television, Broken Skull (Challenge), was wearing Spanx? Spanx! I ain’t wearing no goddamn Spanx. Shit.’ ”

Why you should listen: When Austin does talk about wrestling, he answers a question about being able to hear WWE performers call spots in the ring, and later he responds to a query about the relatively small number of goody guys in the top tier of the WWE roster. Other than that, you’d better really enjoy Stone Cold’s unleashed approach to storytelling about his last few days in rural Georgia.

Why you should skip it: Well, it’s not quite as bad as the early episode in which Austin narrated a fake wrestling match between himself as a fly, but if you tend to skip past the opening monologue of most episodes, you can blow by just about the first hour here, if not the entire thing (as noted, only two of the reader questions pertain to wrestling).

Final thoughts: I recall being bummed when Austin’s 100th show was nothing special, and the 150th is a dud as well. It’s no coincidence he crossed both milestones while on location for a TV shoot. He hinted at maybe interviewing wrestling personalities still kicking around Georgia, which has the potential to be great. But this was no more than a mildly amusing way to kill time while my kids had swimming lessons.

What BREAKING NEWS is about Cesaro and Vince McMahon? READ BELOW! Photo Credit: WWE.com

Hello again, people of the world! HORB FLERBMINBER is back again with all the news that's fit to print, and that's a trademarked phrase by ME AND ME ALONE. I don't wanna see any of you dorks and nerds out there stealing my material, unless you pay me a hefty rejoinder fee. In that case, you can steal my organs if you want. I'M ALL ABOUT THE CASH. Anyway, if you have a tip that you want to submit, send it my way at ProWrestlingSKOOPZ@gmail.com. Please contact me if you have scoops, news, hot rumors, or if you're a Nigerian prince who needs an upfront loan so you can transfer some loot into my account. Even if you're scamming me, at least throw me some contact information for Great Power Uti. I've been wanting to get him for an interview FOR YEARS now.

Also, you can and probably should follow me on Twitter at @HorbFlerbminber, where you can get all the BREAKING scoops that happen as they happen. For a low monthly fee, I can give you access to my LinkedIn account too, although I only use that to send sanitation companies Bryan Alvarez's resume. HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID. Although I probably shouldn't be TOO hard on Alvarez. One night, we got RIPSHIT drunk on absinthe and rubbing alcohol and lit paper bags full of dog poop on Joe Babinsack's front porch. And by front porch, I mean his kitchen. And by dog poop, I mean propane canisters. I think I've written too much already.

Also, since I live an expensive lifestyle - chubs of Spam are apparently NOT CHEAP anymore - I have taken up a side business of selling REAL FIGHT WORN ARTIFACTS. Basically, I have teeth from almost EVERY REAL FIGHTER known to man. I price on a sliding scale, based on how easily attainable those teeth were. You can get the prelim bum package, or if you're a high-roller, I have one of RONDA ROUSEY's MOLARS. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get that. Don't ask me how, either. Just know that her home security system is state of the art. Anyway, if you're interested, then send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a check for the merchandise you want to this address:

Horb's Dental Memories
13570 St Charles Rock Rd
Bridgeton, MO

You can find my online catalog right here.

Also, I've come to understand that my first issue was greeted with HATE MAIL on Twitter. I mine the SCOOPS for you, and you have AUDACITY to say I'm not self-aware? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Really, I don't think I've ever heard that phrase before in my life. Anyway, for all you people out there who want to MOCK ME, I am extending a personal invitation to LICK MY SMELLY FEET. In fact, if you have any problems with what I write, then please send me your Facebook information so that I can send you a proper e-vite. I will try to post a date which is agreeable for everyone. And please, no one click MAYBE. Either you are showing up to lick my feet or you're not. I don't want any of this mamby-pamby bullshit. This generation is so fucking indecisive, jeez.

Also, I take commissions for drawings. I draw anyone or anything you want. In fact, don't just trust me, hear some testimonials! Like Kay Fabian from Cheesequake, NJ!

I paid for a drawing of Ray Charles. It was a stick figure with a disturbingly detailed, veiny penis. I want my money back.

See? Another satisfied customer!

Finally, please take the time to visit my blind grandmother at Mt. Sinai Medical Center in New York. Also, pretend you're me. I'd go and visit, but I have to MINE THE SCOOPS.

- It is being reported by sources that Vince McMahon doesn't get Cesaro, referring to the company Pollyanna for the holidays this year. Sources close to the proceedings are baffled why it was being chosen this early, but they are saying that possibly it has something to do with budgetary concerns about low performances and monetary influxes. McMahon reportedly has received Kevin Dunn. Meanwhile, Triple H has drawn Corporate Kane. He plans on giving him a cross-stitch that says "Sorry I fucked the corpse of your dead girlfriend on national television."

- TNA budget cuts are coming. Rumor has it that the company will plan to make the X-Division a one man show.

- KENTA's new name revealed at Takeover, Hideo Itami, has been revealed to be an homage to his hero and mentor, Ted Arcidi.

- Stacy Keibler is received by mid-season of WWE, because pushing the show is likely to be almost as much, the former UFC champion Randy Couture, as the Stars dance the night with the debut of the new season. I have been shown in the corner of his son Randy 1,000 times more likely to plug, which he mentioned Week Bellator, is not seen.

- CM Punk is upset.

- The word "wrestling" was said 12,919 times at the Empire State Building last week. An estimated 83% of those mentions were about actual pro wrestling.

- Ricochet will be joining Lucha Underground, but not in a role where you can see his face. Or his body. In fact, his role will be played by Ted Arcidi.

- As part of my court-ordered sensitivity training and sentencing, I must now say something NICE about a woman wrestler that isn't sexual in nature. AJ Lee has good form on her skipping.

- Ted DiBiase said in an interview that RAW's sliding ratings should be blamed on "the gays."

- King of Trios is this weekend in Easton, PA. Here is the complete first round lineup:

• The Ant Farm vs. the Hydrox Ant Farm
• Punch Rockgroin, Mark Scrodgutter, and Bugsy Carcrash vs. Lou Thesz, Lou Thesz's Rabbit, and Lou Thesz's daughter
• Brock Lesnar, Todd Starnes, and Moises Alou (Team Piss) vs. Manny Fernandez, American Balloon, and Drew Magary
• The Spirit Squad vs. Kizarny, Festus, and Bam Neely
• Dr. Mantis Toboggan holding two Pumpkin Spice Lattes vs. Team SHIMMER
• The German Cubist Movement vs. Terence and Phillip
• Homicide, Suicide, and Regicide vs. Mixed Martial Archie, Reilly O'Kyle, and Chael Sonnen
• Weird Twitter vs. the cast of Girl Meets World

- Also on tap for the weekend, Sean Waltman will be there saying hello to anyone who remembers the '90s, and Dixie Carter will be at Fan Conclave selling controlling interest in TNA. Also, Ted Arcidi will take on Ted Arcidi in a Mortal Kombat-style mirror match.

- Hulk Hogan seen leaving negotiations for a cast addition for Legends House 2.

- WWE put on the Brock Lesnar/John Cena segment at halftime of the Monday Night Football game because Cena's girlfriend, Nikki Bella, is a huge Eagles fan, and apparently, she considers watching with Cena good luck.

- I asked my nephew what he thought about the Bella Twins/Jerry Springer segment from last week's RAW. He said "Who the heck are they? You smell like grandma's hospital room."

- I went to Global Force Wrestling's headquarters, only to find the building boarded up and the doors locked with a sign that only said "CROATOAN" on it.

- Christian's Peep Show for the Night of Champions pre-show has been canceled thanks to another injury for the snakebitten superstar. Apparently, Christian was so excited when he found out he'd actually be booked, he leaped out of his chair and hit his head on a low ceiling.

- Chris Jericho was to receive three stitches after his match against Kane Monday, but Big E Langston saw the wound and said, "Three ain't enough, man, he needs five."

- Recent studies in Japan indicate that the latest New Japan Pro Wrestling show is the most common cause of priapism in the last week.

- The following list contains things that are a rib on Renee Young for not wearing shoes. It's not exhaustive:

• Paul Heyman's promo on RAW this week
• Bull Dempsey having a new nickname every show
• The name Hideo Itami
• The Montreal Screwjob
• Summer Rae and Layla being friends
• JBL's position on the commentary team on RAW (but not Smackdown)
• Derek Jeter's retirement
• The @CrankyVince twitter account
• 9/11
• Roman Reigns going over Seth Rollins clean six days before their Night of Champions match
• Ted Arcidi

This list only SCRATCHES THE SURFACE, by the by.

- Finally, last week's poll results showed that 57% of you think WWE should replace Michael Cole with Mike Goldberg, 29% with Tony Schiavone, 11% with Paris Hilton, and 3% said Mike Tenay. This week's poll:

#FreeSeleziya Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Wrestling Links:

- Women's Wrestling Weekly: Searching for the Innovators of Violence [With Spandex]

- The Heart Is RAW: I want to see AJ Lee as WWE World Champion [International Object]

- The Best and Worst of RAW: The Incarceration of Paul Heyman by the Coward John Cena [With Spandex]

- More matches from the mid-20th century [Ringbelles]

- NXT Takeover 2: Fatal Fourway [International Object]

- Canadian wrestler banned from entering the United States for five years [Ringbelles]

- The Rock talked about how real his WrestleMania feud with John Cena was [With Spandex]

- WWE Superstars tell us about their favorite things [SB Nation]

- The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling: I Swiped Left on Crazzy Steve [With Spandex]

- Will TNA ever get over? [Grantland]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Roger Goodell failed, just like he was supposed to [SB Nation]

- Ray Rice is an outlier; most abusers play on [NY Times]

- A culture of apathy: Professional sports and domestic violence [Groupthink]

- Hey Roger, get the fuck out [Deadspin]

- Roger Goodell is a domestic violence enabler who must be stopped [Sidespin]

- Sports and domestic violence [And the Valley Shook]

- The NFL has a power problem [SB Nation]

- Why do people hit their kids? [The Concourse]

- Will the elite NFL media still be stooges after the Ray Rice fiasco? [Deadspin]

- Don't feel bad about watching the NFL [Sports on Earth]

- Sportsflicks: The Last Boy Scout, which is almost a documentary [The Classical]

- Florida vs. Kentucky: Gators fan fails miserably with Jameis Winston "scrong" sign [Alligator Army]

- Monday Morning Jerkface, Week Two [The Footbawl Blog]

- La Jaguarina, Queen of the Sword [Rejected Princesses]

- Groundskeeper Willie takes a moment to discuss Scottish independence [Warming Glow]

- What is Scotland? An American guide to independence [Gawker]

- Dear brands, stop remembering 9/11 [The Verge]

- So what exactly is a road diet? [City Lab]

- Do you want to see an angry mob throw a politician into the trash? Of course you do. [UPROXX]

- The 12 greatest things in hockey video game history [Puck Daddy]

- Coke is bringing Surge back, but what about these other classic drinks? [UPROXX]

- How to make a baked egg, yes, goddammit, a baked egg [Foodspin]

- Throw everything out [Domesticity]

- Five ways to make a midseason NBA tournament a huge success [Liberty Ballers]

- 2014 Fall Movie Guide [Film Drunk]

- Seriously random facts about the six people who've played Rusty Griswold [Pajiba]

- The greatest black women in comics who aren't Storm [io9]

- Do violent video games actually reduce real world crime? [Polygon]

King of Trios is awesome, and you should read this post to familiarize yourself with it Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

King of Trios, the most important event on the Chikara calendar and perhaps the biggest event in independent wrestling in a given year, begins Friday. While the event has my fires and the fires of the Chikaraverse stoked, I would be naive to assume that every wrestling fan knows what the weekend is about. On the surface, it's just a six-man tag team tournament, but as with anything in wrestling, especially Chikara, the roots grow more deeply than what they'd appear from the surface. In addition, the Chikara mythos can feel daunting to newbies or outsiders.

Even if being immersed in the promotion can give an extra sense of satisfaction (or heightened disappointment, depending on the outcomes) this weekend, one can know nothing else about the promotion except that it exists and still enjoy King of Trios. The following is a primer of sorts on what to expect at the tournament. I'm not sure how many tickets remain for any of the three shows, but the Easton Funplex holds a lot of people in terms of independent wrestling crowds. I'm sure if you wanted to make a last-minute road trip to the Lehigh Valley, you could score a general admission ticket and experience for yourself the grandeur of the weekend. But anyway, if you want to go and don't know what you would be getting into, well, why not read this guide and see what you're up against, or if it's something you'd enjoy.

WHEN! WHERE! HOW!

King of Trios 2014 will be taking place at the Charles Chrin Community Center of Palmer Township, on 4100 Green Pond Road in Easton, PA. The colloquial name for the venue is the "Easton Funplex," so don't use that name when punching the venue into your GPS or phone. Easton is part of a greater suburban metropolis that includes Bethlehem and Allentown, situated on the Lehigh River in east-central Pennsylvania, right by the Delaware River. It's about a 90 minute drive from both the Philadelphia and New York metropolitan areas, although it's a manageable drive from points around the East Coast like Boston, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Baltimore, and Washington. If you're coming from New York or points northeast, you'll want to find your way to I-78. Coming from Philadelphia and points south, going from I-476 to either I-78 or US-22 is your best bet. Coming from the west means a trip on I-80 to PA-33. However, any map site or GPS will get you there in good order.

The weekend has four associated shows - three of them wrestling shows and one as an interactive meet-and-greet festival known as Fan Conclave. Friday night's show starts at 7 PM local time, while the doors open at 6 PM. Saturday contains both Conclave and the second of the three wrestling cards. Conclave starts at 2 PM, while the show starts at 7 PM. The events are not contiguous; you'll have to leave after Conclave and show up again at 6 PM when the doors open for the show. Finally, Sunday's events start with a potluck cookout in the pavilion area outside the venue at 1 PM. The doors open at 2 PM for a 3 PM start. I will only be there in person for the third show, for those who'd like to say hello to their local, neighborhood wrestling blog type dude, and I will more than likely be going to the potluck cookout too.

The thing about Chikara shows is that you want to get there at least a half-hour if not earlier before door-open time. Crowds, especially at the Funplex, can get pretty big, and if you have general admission tickets, you won't want to get shut out of the best seats by showing up right around door open time.

The Happenings!
King of Trios Tournament

Ah yes, the King of Trios tournament itself is the namesake event happening over these three shows. With 48 individual competitors, it is the largest tournament in pro wrestling in America. It is a single elimination tournament with 16 trios. It is the only portion of the proceedings over the weekend that has matches on all three cards, and the first show is dedicated solely to first round matches. Most, if not all, trios have some kind of long-lasting association with each other, especially ones that compete regularly in Chikara. The promotion is heavily based on stables, so this event is its signature and arguably its most important cluster of shows.

Despite the importance on the tournament, the title is not defended and is non-transferable. Think of it like a sports tournament, where the winners reign for a year (or in the case of the Spectral Envoy, for two years), but don't defend that reign at all. As an aside, the promotion that is least like the "pure sports build" paradigm has the most successful sports-like tournament in all of wrestling. Tournaments like Battle of Los Angeles and DDT4 in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla may be more or less successful depending on metrics or whatever, but they're largely means to an end given that winning them leads to title shots. Chikara has no trios title, and thus winning this is the thing.

Why should anyone want to go to an event based on the six-man format? As WWE has proven to the mainstream over the last two-three years, the trios match archetype can be fun and fulfilling. Chikara arguably has come the closest to perfecting the art of any company that operates north of the Rio Grande. Of course, Chikara's trios matches have a major difference to WWE's. The company operates under lucha libre rules for tagging in and out, which means exiting the ring counts as a legal tag. Also, Chikara's count outs come after a referee count of 20 instead of 10, and removing anyone's mask is grounds for disqualification.

The tournament has been held yearly since 2007 with the exception of 2013, when the company was on hiatus. All tournaments have been conducted with 16 trios in a simple bracket format except in 2008, when 28 trios were booked. Yikes. The previous winners include QuackShaneSaw (Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Shayne Storm aka STIGMA), Los Luchadores de Mexico (Incognito aka Hunico aka Sin Cara, Lince Dorado, El Pantera), Team FIST (Chuck Taylor, Icarus, Gran Akuma), Bruderschaft Des Kreuzes (Claudio Castagnoli aka Antonio Cesaro, Ares, Tursas), The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, Green Ant aka Silver Ant), and the Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, Frightmare). Of those trios, only the Envoy is fully intact and returning. Of the past winners, Jigsaw, Icarus, Ares, Fire Ant, and Silver Ant will be competing on trios in this year's tournament, while Taylor will appear in another capacity during the weekend.

Fan Conclave

Conclave is basically the "WrestleMania Access" of King of Trios, only far less corporate. Wrestlers mill about the venue selling their wares, posing for pictures, or generally interacting with fans in a positive, friendly manner. Most of the booked wrestlers during the weekend come out for various functions or just to chill, but sometimes, wrestlers who aren't even booked who are just in the area will come out as well. Last year, Frankie Kazarian and Christopher Daniels were at a TNA taping just up the road in Bethlehem, and they stopped by Conclave for a spell.

Conclave isn't just about meeting people, whether wrestlers or other fans, or buying merch. Chikara always has something planned for the proceedings. This year, a wrestler photobooth (which will presumably be shot by Friend of the Blog Zia Hiltey), a No Mercy video game tournament, tecnico Family Feud, and live wrestling trivia are all planned. However, I get the feeling that slate only chips away at the iceberg.

Rey de Voladores Tournament

King of Trios isn't the only tournament that happens during the weekend. Translated literally as "King of Flyers," the Rey de Voladores mini tournament puts eight men into three matches with a whole bunch of fireworks over the final two days of the proceedings. The tourney starts on night two with two four-way semifinals. The matches are elimination, and competitors are supposed to tag in and out, although as with any multi-person match with tag rules, chaos can be the rule of the day. The winners of those matches face off on night three to determine who claims the RDV title. Like King of Trios, this title is non-transferable and is not defended.

RDV, like King of Trios, has been held every year except one since 2007 (no tournament was held in 2012). However, only half of the tournaments have been held during King of Trios weekend. In 2007 and 2008, the mini-tourney was held at its own event, and in 2013, it was competed for at  National Pro Wrestling Day. Past winners include Chuck Taylor, Incognito, Kota Ibushi, Ophidian, El Generico aka Sami Zayn, and 2 Cold Scorpio. This year's field has not been completely revealed yet, but the only prior winner announced so far is Taylor.

Tag Team Gauntlet

The Tag Team Gauntlet is as it sounds, a gauntlet match featuring tag teams, ten tag teams to be exact. The match is a night three tradition that dates back to the first King of Trios event in 2007, which was the only year that had more than ten teams competing. Basically, two teams start, and one one team loses, it is replaced with another one until all ten teams have made their appearances. The match contains teams that didn't have enough members to compete in the Trios tournament, or from parts of teams eliminated the first two days. The match is oftentimes an avenue for surprises. In 2011, Dragon Dragon made his ceremonious return to Chikara in the gauntlet, while last year, Demolition  and Marty Jannetty both competed.

Another thing to remember is that the match has implications towards Chikaras Campeonatos de Parejas, or Tag Team Championships. Contenders for the belts are decided via a points system. If you win a match or eliminate a team in a multi-team match, then you are awarded one point towards contention. IF you accumulate three points, you get a title shot. If you accumulate seven, you can name the stipulation. Once you lose a match, however, you lose all your points and start from the bottom. It is possible that the winner of the gauntlet could accumulate enough points to get a shot at the titleholders (currently Dasher Hatfield and Mark "Mr. Touchdown" Angelosetti). However, points are usually not "cashed in" without advance warning. Prior winners include Cheech and Cloudy, Demolition, Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw, Frightmare and Hallowicked, Atsushi Kotoge and Daisuke Harada, and 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty.

The Nights!
Night One

The first show is the only one exclusively dedicated to the the King of Trios tournament. All eight first round matches will be held on this first show. The matches get varying lengths, although it's rare to see a first night match get a prolonged showcase. The main event traditionally features one of the guest teams that has one or more former WWE/TNA/WCW/ECW/puroresu superstars on it. Additionally, the phrase "card subject to change" usually comes into play on night one. In the event's history, only 2011 featured every single wrestler advertised to be there on night one. Replacements are sometimes done using a "random draw," (read: it's all a work, brother) where the referee picks a replacement name out of a hat. Usually, it takes three tries to get the "right" name announced. For those who will only be able to attend one show and need help deciding, if you like trios matches, then night one is probably for you. While you probably won't get the best six-man match of the weekend, you'll get them in bulk.

Night Two

Night two has the most stuff going on by sheer volume. You don't have to go to Fan Conclave if you're attending the second show, but the experience of going to the meet-'n-greet can make the entire weekend even more satisfying. You even have the chance of seeing angles kick off like in 2011, when Green Ant slammed Tursas and kicked off the Flex Express. As a show, night two can sometimes be the strongest night, and it's usually of higher quality than the first one. In years like 2010, when the plan was for the rudo BDK team to win, the most powerful emotional catharsis can come at the end of the middle night, when the Colony defeated the BDK's B-team in the quarterfinals, which at that point was the first time anyone from that stable had lost via pinfall or submission. Plus, Yoshi Tatsu, Rockstar Spud, Seiya Sanada, Rich Swann, and Tigre Uno are all scheduled to make their first appearances of the weekend here. For those who can only go to one show and need help deciding, night two may not have the opening appeal that night one has or the flash-bang finality and quality that night three does, but it's a great way to spend a Saturday.

Night Three

Night three is, pardon my off-color comparison, the money shot for the whole weekend. King of Trios and Rey de Voladores conclude here. The Tag Gauntlet happens. Night three also traditionally has had random nuggets of fantastic, one-off matches, like Manami Toyota/Madison Eagles, 3.0, Ebessan, and Takoyakida/Colt Cabana, the Swamp Monster, Johnel Sanders, and Darkness Crabtree, Toyota and Kaori Yoneyama/Command Bolshoi and Tsubasa Kurigaki, and any number of Eddie Kingston singles showcases (vs. Austin Aries, Christopher Daniels, and Akira Tozawa). Plus, the main stuff tends to be at its best. RDV has produced two all-time finals during KOT weekend in Ibushi/Player Dos and Generico/1-2-3 Kid. The main tournament matches deliver in terms of in-ring action, reaction to emotional stimulus (either positive or negative), or both. Honestly, if you can only go to one show, I would wholeheartedly suggest catching the finale.

Who's Who!

You don't need me to tell you about Chavo Guerrero, Homicide, Hernandez, the Spirit Squad, or Yoshi Tatsu. Depending on your level of knowledge about current TNA, I may not need to tell you about Tigre Uno, Sanada, or Spud either. I would also be bereft of letting you know about their backgrounds because I haven't watched TNA in over a year. However, the Chikara regulars may be a bit daunting for a first-timer. On the outside looking in, these wrestlers are all silly masks that appeal to kids, and while that statement is partially true (and I might add that it's healthy and awesome to appeal to kids), the roster is as diverse and nuanced as anything. However, nuance may not be possible for even the most astute first-time viewer. I know it took me a year or so to get acclimatized to the promotion's quirks and mores. So, the following are the important roster members to remember.

The Spectral Envoy - This trio consists of UltraMantis Black and two anthropomorphic pumpkin beings known as Hallowicked and Frightmare. Mantis, in addition to being an insectoid wrestler, is a noted master of the dark arts and the macabre. He's also the frontman for a hardcore punk band, which gives him one of the most strangely awesome auras of any pro wrestler in any company. This trio won the last tournament, and they are at the heart of the current battle for Chikara's soul. Hallowicked is also the head trainer at the Chikara Wrestle Factory, so he may make a few appearances if some of his graduates get in trouble during the weekend.

The Colony/Colony X-Treme Force - Despite their introduction into Chikara fairly late in the game (2006 instead of 2002 like many wrestlers who embody the promotion as "originals"), the Colony may be the most identifiable faction within the company. The main reason is that wrestling ants are pretty much the strangest thing that anyone who wasn't a fan of South American lucha libre has ever heard of. The trio started out featuring Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, and Worker Ant, but Worker Ant retired some time in 2008, and Soldier Ant is currently brainwashed as a member of The Flood (more on them later). Silver Ant joined in 2009, and the current wrestler named Worker Ant joined in 2012 against his will, actually, which is a long story that I don't know I want to get into right now. Anyway, the Fire/Soldier/Silver trio won King of Trios in 2011.

Their current nemeses are knockoff ants known as Colony X-Treme Force. They were introduced in 2012 as the "new and improved" version of the group, mainly because they had sweet military upgrades. Missile Assault Ant, Orbit Adventure Ant, and Arctic Rescue Ant were even retroactively given the original Colony's King of Trios medals from 2011 by then-Director of Fun (think commissioner or general manager) Wink Vavasseur. The battle raged on between the two factions for over a year, both in Chikara and in the Wrestling Is family of promotions during Chikara's hiatus. In a twist of fate, the two Colonies will face off against each other in the first round of this year's tournament.

Icarus - He has been the main actor of Chikara for over a year now. Once a hated heel (or rudo in lucha parlance), Icarus turned to the side of light by taking up the mantel for Chikara's fans and opposing the increasingly paranoid Eddie Kingston for the Grand Championship. He famously had Kingston in the Chikara Special submission hold at the final show before hiatus when Vavasseur gave the call to break down the set and chase all the fans out of the arena, thus ending said event and the company itself. He was the only one who still believed in Chikara when the rest of the roster went into diaspora, and thanks to his inspirational leadership, he was able to rally the troops and revive the promotion. For his efforts, he was given another shot at the Grand Championship, which he won. Since then, he's defended against all comers while doing battle in the main narrative. He will be competing in the King of Trios tournament alongside...

The Throwbacks - ...Dasher Hatfield and Mark "Mr. Touchdown" Angelosetti, who currently hold Los Campeonatos de Parejas as the Golden Trio. Hatfield and Angelosetti were not original tag partners. The Throwbacks contained Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton. Angelosetti came in when Dunkerton left the promotion, although he didn't have the same happy-go-lucky attitude that the first incarnation of the team possessed. This clash of attitudes led to friction within the group, but they overcame their differences and became stronger for the effort. Hatfield's nickname is the "Old-Timey King of Swing," and he wears a baseball mask, so expect a lot of spots and moves that hearken to America's pastime. Angelosetti, as his nickname suggests, has a football motif, with the meathead, aggro jock persona to go along with it.

The Flood - The Flood is a massive group of collected baddies from Chikara's past that is threatening to resume the company's hiatus and end it for good. The group contains remnants from marauder groups such as the BDK and Gekido, and it has enlisted such singular scoundrels as Dr. Cube, Sinn Bodhi/Kizarny, and Jimmy Jacobs. The group even recruited Chikara originals Jigsaw and Eddie Kingston to its ranks, and it has kidnapped Soldier Ant and Delirious, brainwashing them into service. The group is led by Deucalion, a massive, Bane-affecting killing machine, whose signature chokebreaker has put no fewer than three wrestlers out of commission, seemingly for good. The entire season so far has revolved around the battle between the combined forces of Chikara against this group, and with several Flood entrants into the King of Trios tournament, that theme will probably continue throughout.

The above is by no means a complete treatise on the state of Chikara, but I think - or at least hope - that it's enough to get any newbies ready for a huge weekend of indie wrestling, mirth, and merriment. The best thing about Chikara is that you don't need to become immersed in the story to get satisfaction out of it, and King of Trios is perhaps the best example of being a wrestling smorgasbord as any.

Nash returns to the Austin podcast this week Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 151
Run Time: 1:20:42
Guest: Kevin Nash

Summary: Steve is still on location in rural Georgia. His brief opening monologue focuses on his current gym regimen, which is where the talk with Nash begins. They chat about working out, diet and shopping for paper products before moving on to a segment where Steve reads from the @UberFacts Twitter account and seeks Nash’s reaction. Then Steve drops his match of the week suggestion — now via the WWE Network instead of YouTube.

Quote of the week: Nash, on why marriages might fizzle after four years: “I guess because I met my wife before I got into the business… When you meet somebody now, they meet Stone Cold, they meet Big Sexy. They don’t meet us. It’s already a preconceived person that they’ve seen on television, that they’ve got some idea of. My wife fell in love with a muscle-headed bouncer in a strip joint, so she gets kudos for falling in love with the broke dude.”

Why you should listen: The first 40 minutes covers much of the same ground as the first half of Episode 150, but with the added benefit of a humorous guest — Nash and Austin do have great chemistry — and none of the language that colors the uncensored show. It’s not quite the same as listening in on a casual phone call, since Nash is always aware of when he’s performing, but it’s a lighthearted chat between old friends.

Why you should skip it: If you enjoyed Nash’s two-part interview with Austin from May 2013 (still available on iTunes), delete this file without a second thought. The only hint of talk about wrestling is when the guys discuss their current aches and pains, and even then the listener must provide the context that links the injuries to their storied careers. There is practically no insight whatsoever about anything, and you very likely will feel you wasted 80 minutes.

Final thoughts: If you’re choosing between this one and last Thursday’s show, choose this one. If you’re choosing between this and just about anything, up to and including oral surgery, you have better ways of spending your time.

Can't have a tag division without these guys Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday morning (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

@tholzerman#Tweetbag If they came to you and said, "TH, build us a tag team division the envy of the wrestling world", how would you do it?
— Okori Wadsworth (@OkoriWadsworth) September 17, 2014

Firstly, who is "they?" Are the people who named Vader coming to me to make a tag division? Is WWE giving me a big budget? Is a money mark looking to have me make offers to teams that they can't refuse? I'm going to with the latter option. Anyway, the tag team scene outside of WWE and TNA is robust enough to craft a division that with the right booking could light the spark on a wildfire.

• The Young Bucks - How can I craft a tag division without grabbing the best team in the world?
• The Hooligans - Two burly guys crashing into opponents and fixed structures at high speeds are the new market inefficiency.
• Pieces of Hate - Jigsaw and Shard provide a strong villainous presence in the division. Sure, the Bucks being there add that too, but they're more classic heels. PoH provide the more modern, sleek-assassin presence.
• EYFBO - Much like the Hooligans, they are agile hosses, but the Funky Monkey and Mike Draztik would give the division a bona fide comedic presence.
• Washington Bullets - The Brothers Williams bring that Southern swag to the table in addition to high-flying explosiveness.
• Brian Cage and Tommaso Ciampa - Sure, they haven't teamed just yet (first appearance as a team to be at Beyond's Makin' Moves), but really, Cage's other partner, Michael Elgin, just doesn't do it for me. Ciampa brings unpredictability and fire to the team, who'd act as the monster baddies of the division.

Those six teams would embody the batshit ethic I would want to instill while still having specific roles filled.

@tholzerman will cena overcome the odds?
— Kevin Brown (@duyarvish) September 17, 2014

Sorry, he already overcame the odds five minutes ago. My apologies.

@tholzerman sup?
— bd (@IHatebd) September 17, 2014

Holla at'cha boy, yo.

@tholzerman Why does WWE rush everyone into the main event? HHH-Rock, Rock-Austin, Mankind-HHH were great midcard feuds before WWF title
— Wyatt Fam Football (@WyattFamilyBFKL) September 17, 2014

I really don't know when it happened, or even why, but I think you've hit the nail on the head. The Attitude Era was flawed and massively overhyped, but where it resembled a halcyon paradise was in card structure. Guys worked their way up to the main event, the midcard and tag divisions were established and hot, and card structure made sense, even if the stories told within didn't all the time. Now, WWE sends guys out to sink or swim, and anyone who isn't in the main event or who isn't on their way to the main event are victims to the company's recursive parity booking. It's frustrating.

@tholzerman WHY IS EVERYONE A HEEL/IS LESNAR ACTUALLY A FACE? #TweetBag
— NORMAN CORE (@matt_T) September 17, 2014

To answer the first part of that question, everyone's a heel because either they're classic heels who are doing dastardly shit, or they're mugging for the affections of a crowd of shitheads. John Cena bullies Paul Heyman and he gets cheered. The Rock makes slurs and shames Vickie Guerrero, and people eat it up. WWE is entertainment made for scoundrels by scoundrels.

And that reason is why Brock Lesnar is such a beautiful force. If one were to go by Dungeons and Dragons parlance, he would be chaotic neutral, and even in that light, where he destroys just to destroy, he legitimately cares about Heyman. Sure, Heyman is a scuzzy, slimy liar and sleazeball, but Lesnar recognizes the doors that he opened for him. Lesnar might just be the purest face in the entire company who isn't currently waiting in NXT.

@tholzerman who are your top three favorite cartoon dogs? #Tweetbag
— The Lady (@LadyNearTheLake) September 17, 2014

1. Scooby Doo - Look, he's the OG for a reason.
2. Pal - I love that when he talks to the baby in the family that he's an erudite Englishman. By the way, what's the deal with anthropomorphic animals having regular animals as pets? I would understand it if the Arthur universe didn't have talking dog-people, but it does! However, that situation isn't nearly as bad as with Mickey Mouse/Disney where Goofy and Pluto exist usually in the same fucking shows most of the time.
3. Poochie - Poochie's not on screen. Where is he?

@tholzerman Should the WWE women's title match Sunday have been made a four-way? Or should we just anticipate major shenanigans? #TweetBag
— Star of Savage (@StarOfSavage) September 17, 2014

Keeping the match a three-way is the best choice for story. If the narrative is that Stephanie McMahon and Nikki Bella are stacking the deck against the latter's sister, then she should stay out of the match. Of course, her exclusion from the match will more than likely figure into eliminating her sister's title hopes, but I think that decision is best for all parties involved. Having two women's feuds on a WWE show is refreshing, even if one is terribly acted like the Bellas' story.

@tholzerman Best animated film not from Disney/Pixar or directed by Bluth?
— Complete Shot! (@Complete_Shot) September 17, 2014

While I do love a good Looney Tunes flick, especially one with Michael Jordan trying to act and Bill Murray making a timely cameo, I can only give Space Jam the runner-up status here. I would go with Despicable Me. Steve Carell's comedic presence in person remains a mystery to me when he's not Brick Tamland, but he's actually great when he voices Gru. The movie is sweet at heart, and it has enough laughs for the adults while keeping the kids entertained.

@tholzerman What is your favorite album of all time?
— Casey Brown (@NintendoGamer86) September 17, 2014

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? That question can change with the wind. I have so many albums that I love dearly. For example, the perfect grunge era album may have been released by a Chicago band in 2002 (Local H - Here Comes the Zoo). Or how can I argue against a moody, emotionally-charged yet whimsical and sardonic early '90s classic? (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Let Love In) My favorite band ever, Stone Temple Pilots, had three dynamite albums in a row (Purple, Tiny Music..., No. 4), but then again, could they match up with Master of Puppets? Or Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band?

But usually, the album I fall back on as the average best ever was released in 1973. Steve Hackett played guitar. Michael Rutherford was on the bass. Tony Banks tickled the ivories and other assorted keys. Phil Collins sang one song, but he was mostly there to pound the drums. And Peter Gabriel asked if you could tell him where his country lies.

@tholzerman If you could have one Trio from KoT ambushed backstage and replaced, who would it be? And who would replace them?
— Lee (@nakamuraness) September 17, 2014

Well, the ambushed party would be LAX, obviously. They're the only trio with whom I took umbrage, but really, I have no qualm with Homicide or Hernandez. Ditching the whole team for Chavo Guerrero is a shame, but I have to do what I have to do. As for their replacement, I'm torn. On one hand, the Submission Squad is RIGHT THERE, and they deserve to have more of a presence than a simple atomicos match on night three. On the other, I'm sure I could find SOMEONE to pay for transportation across the Pacific to bring the Sendai Girls back. Price had to be the only barrier keeping them from coming back, right? Eh, gun to my head, I'll take Meiko Satomura and her seconds to make one more run through the tournament.

@tholzerman Is Fall Brawl this weekend? Why can't WWE just split the difference and use the Hell in the Cell cage for War Games? #TweetBag
— Time Limit Draw (@TheTLDPodcast) September 17, 2014

I always thought the biggest stumbling block towards War Games wasn't so much the lack of authorial ownership by WWE now that Triple H has wrested more and more control from the old guard, but the fact that it requires two rings to do correctly. Between War Games and World War 3, the Southern opposition to Vince McMahon, whether promoted by Jim Crockett or owned by Ted Turner, seemed to LOVE multiple ring setups. Modern WWE just doesn't seem to want to sacrifice the arena space and the seats. A scaled down version could be in the cards, but then again, if you want to do War Games, shouldn't you want to do it right?

@tholzerman Waltman decides to compete tagging with someone at #KOT who with and who replaces him at Commentation Station ?
— Sean McLaughlin (@soggyhydrox) September 17, 2014

I'm not sure Sean Waltman is going to be doing commentary for every match, so replacing him really isn't so much a question. As for whom he'd tag with, if he's going to be there, then I would expect Marty Jannetty to tag with him as a surprise entry in the Night Three Tag Gauntlet. If he doesn't compete there, a match against Prakash Sabar, the non-nationally-affiliated member of the Bloc Party who looks and acts suspiciously like him, could be in the cards.

@tholzerman Why would anyone ever have trouble distinguishing between Kevin Nash and Steve Borden?
— What a Maneuver!! (@what_a_maneuver) September 18, 2014

Clearly, the WCW front office was racist against white people and thought they all looked alike. THE PLAN WAS FOOLPROOF!

@tholzerman Here's my question. How can Penn State fans live with themselves after crushing my hopes and dreams last Saturday? #TweetBag
— The real dajerseyboy (@dajerseyboy) September 18, 2014

I can't hear you over the sound of PLAYING IN A BOWL GAME THIS YEAR WOOOOOOOOOOOO.

@tholzerman WWE name changes don't really matter right? Don't we all just get used to any name anyways?
— Brian J Pickett (@BrianPickett) September 18, 2014

Hard agree on this. Changing the name has very little effect on enjoyment of a wrestler. Daniel Bryan main evented WrestleMania and led 80,000 people in a "YES!" chant, and his name had not a goddamn thing to do with it. He could have done the same thing as Bryan Danielson, Lloyd Boner, or even Punty McPuntson for crying out loud.

In general, people tend to like what they're familiar with. It's the reason why conservatism is so popular around the world. I don't necessarily blame people for getting up in arms about names because it's human nature. But in the case of KENTA switching to Hideo Itami, the anger was probably exacerbated by all the rumblings and the rumors and the dirt sheet blurbs saying he'd keep his name. Not only did the familiar KENTA go away, it went away after being teased that it'd stay. Really though, I think most people will get over it once they see that his style is still kick.

As for the argument that changing the name is a detriment to that wrestler getting over, well, the people who are angry about the name changes know that wrestler and will cheer for them anyway. Those who aren't angry about the name change either know the wrestler and accept it, or they are among the throng of WWE's audience that are either casual wrestling fans or who are fans of WWE and WWE only.

@tholzerman 2 ?'s: what do you call fried potato wedges in the east (they are jo jo's in Oregon) and where do they rank as a side?#TweetBag
— Rene Sanchez (@renesanchez77) September 18, 2014

Sadly, us Eastfolk don't have a fancy name for potato wedges. They're called wedges or potato logs if you're nasty. As for ranking as a side, they're not too high on my list. They rarely cook evenly, and even when they do cook okay, they're still too hard in the middle. The absolute fattest I take my fried potato is in steak fry form.

@tholzerman HHH said NXT is the new WCW. If true who should be their Tony Schiavone?
— Updog, bounty hunter (@Moose_Bigelow) September 18, 2014

Honestly, if Trips wants NXT to be WCW, then he should go all out and get Tony Schiavone to call the action. WWE already has Dusty Rhodes under contract and working primarily in Florida. NXT can be a modern version of WCW Saturday Night! Contrary to what one might believe, wanting Schiavone back under contract isn't a troll opinion. Throw out what you know about him during the Monday Night Wars era. His obnoxious shilling of the nWo-based stories and "THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT" shtick were mandated from above through his headset. Before the Nitro era, and afterwards during the down slope of the company, Schiavone was actually pretty goddamn good at his job. A three person booth of Schiavone, Renee Young, and Byron Saxton wouldn't be bad at all, provided Young gets a little coaching.

@tholzerman MOOSE. Opinions?
— Tom Keiser (@keisertroll) September 18, 2014

I think it's absolutely bullshit that I've been going to Maine for work every year for the last eight years and I've never, EVER seen a moose in the wild. BULLSHIT.

@tholzerman Book an indie card featuring only wrestlers that either have A)less than 3000 followers on Twitter or B)no twitter at all.(?)
— Sour Grapes (@SammyJ_D) September 18, 2014

Goddammit, you made me do RESEARCH for this question. Anyway...

• MAIN EVENT: Davey Vega vs. AR Fox
• Cody Deaner and the Maestro vs. Buff Bagwell and Jock Samson
• Shynron, Jervis Cottonbelly, Amasis, and Mark Angelosetti vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Missile (!) Assault (!) Ant (!), Oleg the Usurper, and Jaka
• HARDCORE MATCH: Crazy Mary Dobson vs. Jewells Malone vs. Mickie Knuckles
• Jeremy Wyatt, Shane Hollister, and Miss Natural vs. Chase Owens, Vordell Walker, and Hania the Howling Huntress
• Jonathan Gresham vs. Matthew Palmer
• Andrew Everett vs. Kyle Matthews
• The Hooligans vs. the Devastation Corporation
• "Smooth Sailing" Ashley Remington vs. Jojo Bravo

@tholzerman do you see a day where football is completely shunned/outlawed due to injuries/players being absolute shitheels of people?
— Kid Presentable (@Tvs_Tim_Biewald) September 18, 2014

Nope, at least not in my lifetime. Money talks in any society, so unless somehow financial leverage can be applied to the NFL, it's not going anywhere. You and I can watch something else on Sundays and Mondays (and, ugh, Thursdays), but we're a drop in the bucket. The only way I can see it going away soon is if insurance premiums go through the roof, but lol at one corporation doing harm to another corporation.

@tholzerman Regarding this past RAW, can you recall a time when creative just bent over for competition like that?
— Marty G (@ThisPhillyFan) September 18, 2014

Nope. While I really don't care either way if WWE caters to audiences who watch other shit, I do find it curious that Vince McMahon, the cocksure, stubborn paterfamilias of the most dynamic force in sports entertainment would kowtow to a National Football League that is embroiled in off-the-field controversy. Seriously, the old McMahon would have smelled the blood in the water and put on a pay-per-view quality card with happenings in every quarter hour. NON-STOP STIMULATION. I never bought into the talking point that McMahon was a genius, but I always gave him credit for being bold and taking risks. Now that he seems to have lost that spirit, it's time to put him out to pasture.

@tholzerman Will Lesnar retain against Cena this Sunday?
— Marc (@DasNordlicht91) September 18, 2014

If you had asked me this when the chance for a bait and switch had passed, I would have said absolutely yes. Now, I'm not so sure. Lesnar's reported deal could open him up to carry the title into WrestleMania while still working every pay-per-view, but unless the stock is looking like it's going to rebound, will corporate coward Vince McMahon want to pay Lesnar's rates if he's still losing speculative cash? I want to say yes, but I get the feeling that the person walking out of Night of Champions with the title won't be Lesnar or Cena at this rate.

@tholzerman Since both of us are only going to night 3 of Trios, can you fantasy book the night 3 card? #tweetbag
— Todd Joerchel (@tourneymaster) September 18, 2014

• SEMIFINALS: Devastation Corporation vs. The Spectral Envoy - The Envoy wins a hard-fought battle despite interference from Sidney Bakabella and the rest of the Wrecking Crew, thanks to returns Crossbones and Blind Rage (shades of '12!)
• SEMIFINALS: Jimmy Jacobs/Eddie Kingston/Volgar vs. The Colony - Interference from the Colony: X-Treme Force help the Flood's ace trio to get the win.
• 1-2-3 Kid vs. Prakash Sabar - Fun match where Kid gets the win but earns the respect of his doppelganger.
• TAG GAUNTLET: The Batiri vs. N_R_G vs. Jaka and Oleg the Usurper vs. the Osirian Portal vs. Haack and Slaash vs. Mikey and Kenny vs. the Boar and Mr. Azerbaijan vs. Soldier Ant and Delirious vs. Old Fashioned vs. DEMOLITION - Soldier Ant and Delirious come out of the match with two points and the victory.
• Deucalion vs. Kid Cyclone - Deucalion is about ready to choke-break Cyclone out of existence when Hallowicked begs for his pupil's life. He offers himself as a replacement, and despite the entirety of the Greenhorn Militia trying to save him, Hallowicked eats a chokebreaker and is carried out, funeral-style.
• REY DE VOLADORES FINAL: Seiya Sanada vs. Shynron - Shynron wins the title of Rey de Voladores in a crowd-pleasing, straightforward spectacle of high-flying.
• The Submission Squad vs. Kizarny, The Odditorium, and Dr. Cube - The Squad wins a crazy poop-show of a match
• FINALS: Jacobs/Kignston/Volgar vs. a shorthanded Spectral Envoy - Frightmare and Mantis valiantly fight off the Flood but look to be finished off until the ESTONIAN THUNDER FROG walks in from the back. Something seems off about him, however, but nevertheless, he's able to give the Envoy the boost it needs to repeat as King of Trios Champions and gain a decisive win against The Flood. The show ends with Mantis looking upon the Frog and cackling like a madman, which surely can't mean anything good for anyone involved in this whole mess.